#oh NO that one bust kinda looks like that league of legends guy huh. I don't even play that game idfk lmao

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 246: Plot Whiplash

Previously on BnHA: Hawks handed Endeavor a copy of Re-Destro’s NYT bestseller and was all “ಠ_ಠ READ THIS!!” He then flew off back to the PLF and was all “hey guys just got back from handing out free copies of Destro’s book to everyone in a 1000-mile radius, which absolutely nobody asked me to do, well anyways you can thank me later” and they were all “SWEET.” Back at the Endeavor HQ, Bakugou got all fired up to BUST SOME HEADS but Endeavor’s sidekicks were all “WAIT FOR THE PLOT YOUNG MAN.” Meanwhile in his office, Endeavor discovered a secret code in the book Hawks gave him, which basically read “HEY WHAT’S UP THE LEAGUE HAS TAKEN OVER THE MLA AND HAS AN ARMY OF 100,000 PEOPLE” and Endeavor was like “!!!!” And then we cut to the League and Toga was all “IN FOUR MONTHS TOMURA IS BLOWING THIS SHIT TO KINGDOM COME” and then the chapter just ended. Sometimes it be like that.

Today on BnHA: Tomura sits down with Ujiko who monologues a bit about Quirk Singularity and then starts some sort of quirk-upgrading process which will apparently take four months to fully set in. And also he’s like “oh btw let me tell you about One for All” so THAT’S A THING NOW, GREAT. We then cut back and forth between Endeavor and Hawks, who both somehow come to the weird conclusion that THE INTERNS ARE OUR ONLY HOPE NOW using logic that is hard to explain on account of THERE ACTUALLY ISN’T ANY LOGIC BEHIND IT, SHHH. But anyway, so Endeavor figures out the rest of Hawks’s message and he knows that Hawks is trying to figure out what the League is up to, and something something that’s why the internships are so important. Like, I get that the Terrible Trio are future legends in the making, but these guys are seriously like “well okay let’s just go ahead and rest all our hopes on them” out of the blue, and Hawks has this big monologue about how “THINGS WON’T GO ACCORDING TO YOUR PLAN, VILLAINS” and okay then!! And then the last two pages are basically just DID SOMEBODY ORDER SOME HYPE with more shit going on than I can possibly sum up so I won’t even try lol. But damn.

(All comments are my unspoiled reactions from my initial readthrough of the chapter. I did a quick edit for grammar and clarity afterward, and added a few ETAs in the process, but aside from that there are no changes.) 

okay guys, I’m feeling kinda under the weather today, but I know this chapter’s gonna be good so lesssssss gooooooo. bring me back to life Horikoshi

(ETA: lol well there sure was a lot happening in this chapter, that’s for sure. my head hurts.)

oooooh it’s a sexy Jump cover celebrating season 4!

I really need the anime team to step up and give Ochako and Tsuyu some more screentime in the Basement Arc since the manga did not do them justice. there’s only like a 20% chance of that happening, which is depressing, but it’s 2019 and the winds are slowly changing, albeit at a geriatric pace. so I’ll allow myself to have some hope. you never know

YEAH SON LOOK AT THIS COLOR SPREAD Y’ALL THIS IS RAD

hello I love everything about this. the colors, the focus on our best girls, Deku’s bizarre-yet-awesome assorted sci-fi accessories (Deku do those headphones let you communicate with space or what), and of course, the five million TVs in the background which for some reason all appear to be from the 70s. all of this to remind us to TUNE IN TOMORROW FOR THE LONG-AWAITED SEASON 4 DEBUT. I will definitely tune in! the first episode is just gonna be the usual half filler/half clip show, but honestly season 3 was so good that I could sit through a whole hour of nothing but highlights and still be thoroughly entertained

anyway let’s move on because there are GAMES AFOOT, and we’re hopefully about to learn which direction this arc will be headed in!

OH SHIT OH FUCK

yep, that’s him. Shigaraki “destruction incarnate” Tomura. I see we’re getting our weekly dose of “just a reminder that WE ARE SCREWED” even earlier than usual this chapter, huh

so does anyone else get a chill up their spine every time Ujiko makes an appearance, or is that just me? like, god. he may honestly be even creepier than AFO. he’s just completely soulless, this guy. he’s got like this Mengele vibe to him (though that may be kinda dicey to compare horrific real-life atrocities to fictional ones in a shounen manga, but I’m just trying to explain why I find him so disturbing) and it really freaks me the hell out, ngl. anyways so him wearing a surgical mask and standing in front of this weird examination chair is pretty much the last thing I need right now. go away Ujiko

so Tomura is all “I want it cuz you promised, so pay up jackass”, and like. fair, though

I really like this new art style Horikoshi’s been using for him since his Awakening. kinda curious how it’s going to translate to the anime, or even to a color spread. but at the very least in black and white it looks siiiiick

smh look at this little punk trying to downplay how insanely freaking overpowered his quirk currently is

okay first of all, “President Baldy” is only alive because you left him alive. and he also had to chop off his own legs to stay that way. like, what kind of argument is this, Tomura? “this power is far from invincible, all my enemies have to do is amputate their own limbs and then they’ll have me right where they want me.” you know what, just go on and destroy the world right now kid. you’re getting greedy now and it could be your undoing

that is a nice parallel between him and Deku there, though. now I’m craving some Symbolic Artwork of them standing back to back each holding out their scarred right arms. maybe with their respective mentors in the background. here at BnHA we prefer our parallels nice and dramatic

sdskfjlaskdj

son of a bitch. I really wish he wouldn’t say that with such utter certainty. “the next conflict will be our last.” cue me flipping through the BnHA table of contents and trying to determine just how far along we actually are here, because this is veering dangerously close to Final Battle signaling, and like, ALREADY?? TOMURA ARE YOU JUST BEING THEATRICAL OR ARE YOU FOR REAL OMG. motherfucking DARK LORD’S LIPS curling into the WICKEDEST FUCKING CRESCENT I’VE EVER SEEN, fuck me

(ETA: it occurs to me on readthrough #2 that “the next conflict will be our last” could be interpreted to mean him and All Might specifically. like, the last conflict between the two of them. and that might very well be true, and would not surprise me at all. shit.)

fjsgk now Ujiko’s talking about research. and quirks!! glkjlkl

fully expecting the camera to cut to some NOUMUS any second now oh my god. also trying not to think about how crazy ominous that fucking chair looks. and how many people this maniac has probably strapped down to it and done god knows what to them. hey Horikoshi you know what, I’ve had just about enough of this dark shit, can we please cut back to my kids now I’m feeling too unsettled. goddammit

anyhow of course we are NOT cutting away, and Ujiko is continuing to talk about quirk evolution, and now segueing into a speech about that quirk singularity thing. -- which he apparently named?? wow

is he actually going to do something to Tomura? holy shit?? this whole time that they’ve been talking about this “power” I’ve just been assuming it was something external, like some other handy dandy villain resource that AFO’s just been sitting on or something. this is not where I expected things to go. didn’t he just get an upgrade??

anyway so here’s a brief summary I just wrote up of The Past Six Months of BnHA:

Deku: [gets a new quirk]

everyone: bruh. Horikoshi really out here giving Deku AFO Powers while Tomura just sits around starving to death on a couch. what the heck

Horikoshi: [powers up Tomura to the point where he can destroy anything just by it being in contact with something that Tomura happens to be touching] [has Tomura use this power to level an entire city]

everyone: -- oh. okay, you know what, never mind --

Horikoshi: [gives Tomura an army of 100,000 people] [also gives him command of 11 extremely lethal and nigh-unstoppable killing machines, just one of which was almost enough to take out the number one hero, LITERALLY THE STRONGEST GUY THE GOOD GUYS CURRENTLY HAVE IN RESERVE]

everyone: okay we’re sorry we get it you can sto --

Horikoshi: APOCALYPSE IN FOUR MONTHS!!!

everyone: WE GET IT WE’RE SORRY PLEASE

Horikoshi: [GIVES TOMURA ANOTHER POWER-UP]

everyone: [curled up in fetal position sobbing]

starting to think the mangaka might be the actual final villain here. hmm

anyway. so I guess we have four months until Tomura ascends to Actual Godhood and proceeds to rain hellfire down upon the world. what are you all gonna do with your four months. I personally have a lot of stuff to binge, but knowing me I’ll probably just waste all my time reading fanfic while youtube videos play in the background which I’m not paying any attention to. what am I doing with my life

oh were we not done hyping him up? there’s more??

(ETA: I got so caught up in the OFA comment I didn’t pay attention to Tomura becoming a beautiful decayed butterfly in this exquisitely creepy panel here. but damn.)

-- HOLD THE FUCK UP. does Tomura know about One for All??? because I was under the impression that AFO hadn’t told him? this would change a lot if he knew this entire time, holy shit?!

aaaaaaaaand exactly one panel later Horikoshi is all “no he didn’t know calm the fuck down” lol

okay then. so he didn’t know, and he’s only just finding out now. well tbh that’s still worthy of a smiling crying emoji face though :’) this is fineeee

shit here we go oh shit

-- WAIT, SO WE’RE JUST CUTTING AWAY FROM THEM? NOW YOU CUT AWAY? YOU GET WITHIN INCHES OF CONFIRMING THE FUCKING ALL FOR ONE FOR ALL THEORY AND THEN IT’S JUST “ANYWAYS HERE’S ENDEAVOR” YOU KNOW WHAT, HORIKOSHI, I --

just. come on dude. AFOFA 2019! let’s make it happen! dammit

sigh, so looks like it’s back to the admittedly-still-epic “Hawks passes down secret information about the villains to Endeavor” plot. I guess we’re not exactly hurting for good plots all around. I may complain but honestly we are spoiled

so Hawks is saying that he actually doesn’t know the specifics of the villains’ plans yet. well shit

apparently his feathers can only pick up sounds from short range, and the villains keep escorting him away whenever they get to talking about the good stuff. well at least that explains that potential plot hole from last week. Hawks’s feathers may have a short range, but Horikoshi’s plot hole caulking gun can fill in leaky plot holes from fucking miles away. amazing

ffffffff

don’t mind me I’m just sitting here fretting about Hawks continuing to be in mortal danger and risking his life to gather information in a race against time against the end of the world. Horikoshi out here piling up stakes like a freaking vampire hunter

but in the meantime, everyone please stop what you’re doing for a moment to look at this absolute unit of a bellhop slash security guard

apologies Lord Vader he was just trying to get to the dining hall. my bad. as you were

and holy shit I hope you enjoyed that light comedic break because two seconds later Re-Destro has dropped in to fixate Hawks with one of those Lightly Menacing Smiles he’s so infamous for. so that’s just fucking great!

HAWKS WATCH OUT FOR YOUR FINGERS

omg. imagine, a showdown between the two stealth murder MVPs of the series, Yotsubashi “Sleeper Hold” Rikiya (yes I did have to look up his real name just now) and Takami “Tag Em And Bag Em” Keigo. true, RD may no longer have legs, but he didn’t need them to choke out our little mouse buddy now did he? anyways speaking of which I just remembered that I fucking hate Re-Destro and I honestly hope Hawks does kill him. it’d be pretty easy to fit him into a bag too. he’s basically just a torso and arms now

oh sure Horikoshi go ahead and spring this on me after all of that ranting why don’t you

by the way does Re-Destro have Robot Legs now, or

looool he does

I will say this for Horikoshi, he knows my weaknesses. more robot limbs please. either badass or memeable ones, either is fine

meanwhile I skipped over this panel of Hawks and Twice being buddies in order to get to the legs, and shame on me for that. let’s go back

Twice is a genuinely good guy and I hope Hawks can tell. I wonder how fake this smile is. I feel like it’d be easy to relax around Twice regardless of how tense you are about your secret spy mission which could go south at any time. anyways this is wholesome

and now we’re cutting back to Endeavor who is taking his sweet time reacting to this whole thing. Endeavor can you fucking chill with the poker face already geez

okay wait, what

are you serious?! I fucking can’t with this lady. “now make sure to throw these children directly into the line of fire! it’s good for them and builds character!” I’m sorry, I thought this was the Hero Public Safety Commission, not the Putting Juveniles Directly Into Harm’s Way Commission?? at least change the acronym to something more appropriate then. Heinous Pathetic Soulless Cowards. just a suggestion. jesus

anyway so for a moment I got confused as to whether this was implying that she’d told Endeavor about Hawks’s undercover mission. but it seems like he’s still unaware. shouldn’t be too long before he puts the pieces together though at this rate

lol in the very next panel, even

meanwhile you’re just sitting on your ass reading a book! FUCKING DO SOMETHING ALREADY, ENDEAVOR

so he’s thinking that the “preparation” part of Hawks’s message is referring to the interns. let me back up a sec and write down the entire message as he’s read it thus far

“four months from now / rising to action / until then / will send / signals / in case / of failure / preparation / numbers”

...read like that, it really does sound like Hawks is advocating to get as many soldiers ready as possible. even if that includes actual children. including Endeavor’s own son. shit. I mean, I get that they don’t have much of a choice, but that’s still so fucked up. sure, we as omniscient readers know that Deku is their one and only hope, but they don’t know that. as far as they know these are just a bunch of teenagers with less than a year’s worth of experience that they’re propping up on the front lines. and the plan is then... what? hope they don’t die too quickly?? fuck

Hawks is out here having an argument with me in his thoughts. you wanna play it like that, Hawks? fine

I don’t know what kind of “but” you can tag on to the end of that paragraph that could possibly win me over, dude, but go for it I guess

and we’re finally cutting back to the kids in question now! with Burnin’ casually trying to crush Kacchan’s hopes and dreams

okay but I love how both Deku and Shouto are like “easy there buddy, we got you” and trying to keep Kacchan from having a fucking aneurysm sob. JUST TRY AND HOIST HIM ONTO SOME DUMB SIDEKICKS, LADY. YOU’VE MADE A POWERFUL ENEMY HERE TODAY

oh shit

oh my god. are we going to get our first actual interaction between the three of them that doesn’t consist of them grumbling annoyed introductions at each other and then running off to fight an old fortune teller omggggg

I love how Deku and Bakugou look weirdly intimidated by him lol. Bakugou where did all that “YOU’RE KIND OF A JERK” confidence go all of a sudden

YESSSSSSS

GODDAMMIT, I’M STILL SO MAD AT YOU GUYS FOR BEING ALL “LET’S JUST MAKE THE CHILDREN DO IT,” BUT DAMMIT THEY KICK ASS THOUGH SO I CAN KINDA SEE YOUR POINT

NOW HAWKS IS METAING ABOUT THEM AHHHHHHH

DAMN STRAIGHT THEY WOULD HAVE. BRING ON TOMURA AND ALL OF HIS STUPID POWER-UPS. WOW I’M WEIRDLY HYPED UP ALL OF A SUDDEN WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME

AND FUCKING LOOK AT THIS TWO-PAGE SPREAD AHHHHHHHHHHH

MOTHERFUCKER [WHIPS OUT PEN AND NOTEBOOK] TIME TO ANALYZE THIS BITCH

so Ochako and Tsuyu did indeed go back to intern with Ryuukyuu again! makes sense, she is a top ten hero after all. who’s that with them, though? almost looks like Yanagi from the hair and the mask, but the costume looks different? hmm

I CAN’T BELIEVE IIDA WENT BACK TO INTERN WITH FUCKING MANUAL AGAIN. THIS GUY IS THE BRAN CEREAL OF HEROES. though I fucking love him though so yeah it’s fine

JIROU AND SHOUJI TEAMING UP WITH GANG FUCKING ORCA AW YISS BOYS THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT LET’S GOOOO

KOUDA AND MANGA TEAMING UP WITH WASH OMG. MANGA IS THE ONLY ONE ON THAT TEAM WHO ACTUALLY FUCKING SPEAKS. IS WASH’S SIDEKICK SOME SORT OF BROOM PERSON OMG

A WHOLE FUCKING ACRE OF KIDS HAVE ALL GANGED UP ON THIS CAVEMAN-LOOKING FELLA I DON’T EVEN RECOGNIZE. WHO ARE YOU. DID YOU CROSS OVER FROM THE FANTASY AU

KIRI BACK WITH FG AND BROUGHT TETSUTETSU ALONG FOR THE RIDE HELLS YEAHHHH

KAMINARI AND SERO WITH KAMUI WOODS AND EDGESHOT I’M HYPERVENTILATING AHHH. AND SHIOZAKI TOO!! I’LL JUST PRETEND I DON’T SEE MINETA THERE IN THE CORNER. MIGHT BE TIME TO DUST OFF THE OLD “CANCELLED” STAMP AGAIN BUT WE’LL SEE HOW THINGS GO

WHO ARE MOMO AND TOKAGE AND MINA AND AOYAMA (WHICH BTW IS THE GREATEST HERO TEAMUP OF ALL TIME HOLY SHIT) TEAMING UP WITH!? TELL US. AND PONY AND MONOMA. GODDAMMIT HORIKOSHI

whew! anyway. they’re all still screwed, but by golly that was nice to have that little invigorating breather of life and hope

LOL OH SHIT THERE’S ANOTHER ONE

okay, SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT THE FUCK NOW WHAT ALL MIGHT IS LOOKING AT OR I’M GONNA LOSE IT. holy shit. he was researching the past users of OFA, wasn’t he? WHAT DID YOU FIND OH GOD. he’s not just upset, he looks one step shy of fucking crying?? did he learn about what happened to Nana’s son and his family, maybe? shit shit shit

so Yanagi is interning with Kendou then? so who was that with Hadou and Ryuukyuu and the rest. one of Ryuukyuu’s sidekicks?

IS THAT FUYUMI (SPOILERS FUCKING YEAH IT IS) AND WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE SHE’S FUCKING PRAYING OMG. it looks like she’s kneeling at a family altar?? like saying a prayer for someone who is PRESUMED DEAD, maybe?? LIKE MAYBE A LONG LOST TWIN BROTHER OH SHIT OUT OF NOWHERE THE HYPE DON’T STOP!!

AND WHY DOES NAO HAVE HIS HAT OFF AND CLUTCHED TO HIS CHEST LIKE HE’S TELLING SOMEONE BAD NEWS. GOD WHAT THE HELL EVEN ARE ALL OF THESE PLOT THINGS HAPPENING ALL OF A SUDDEN. LIKE I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO LOOK NEXT

KUROGIRI AHHHHHHHH

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING TO ERI’S HORN!? DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE THIS?? AIZAWA??? HELLO!?!?

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, TEAM OT3. TIME TO FUCKING SUIT UP. APPARENTLY. WELL ALL RIGHT THEN. [JACKET ZIP] [GUN COCKING SOUND EFFECT] LET’S GO PUNCH ‘EM IN THE MOUTH

y’all. this chapter was like plot whiplash. this went in so many different directions and hinted at so many different things that I’m at a complete fucking loss as to what to process first. but I guess the interns are gonna save us all, somehow. lol okay then

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha 246 #shigaraki tomura #hawks #endeavor #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #horikoshi: [makes tomura sexy] #everyone: okay that part is fine I guess #horikoshi: [tells tomura about one for all] #me: :') :') :') :') :') :') :') :') :') welp

[katedoesfics]

Shadows of Hyrule | Chapter 29

“So, how was everyone's weekend?” Teba asked. They were gathered together behind the school at the end of the day, none of them really in any hurry to get home.

“Uneventful,” Urbosa said.

Teba nodded. “Right, right. I'm sure it was considering you bitches all jumped ship Friday night.”

Daruk shrugged. “The Captain told us to scram, so we did.”

“We had our own issues to deal with,” Urbosa said, narrowing her eyes at Teba.

“Oh, yeah, me too, like busting Revali out of jail.”

Daruk whistled. “Nice. What was he busted for?”

Teba rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Well, let's see.” He looked up thoughtfully. “There's the loud noise ordinance, the underage drinking, the drugs, assault, and somehow attempted murder.”

“The fuck?” Link muttered.

“Yeah. Turns out trying to choke a guy doesn't fly well with the cops, especially when the guy's a fucking bitch.”

“Huh,” Link said. “I thought they were getting kinky.”

“How did he manage to get out?” Daruk asked.

“Oh, you know how it goes,” Teba started. “His dad pulled some strings.”

“So, where has he been all day?” Urbosa asked.

Teba shook his head. “Maybe his father finally killed him.”

“You don't know?” Link said. “I thought he was your boyfriend.”

Teba sneered at Link. “I don't spend every moment of my life with him. I haven't seen him all weekend. I've been with Suki.”

“No one has thought to check on him?” Urbosa said. “It's not like him to go silent like that. I don't think he even knows how to shut his beak. He practically announces his presence whenever he enters a damn room.”

“And I suppose that's my job?” Teba said. “It wasn't my turn to babysit him.”

“Not it,” Link said, putting a finger on his nose. “Not it times infinity.”

Daruk sighed. “I'll call him.”

“Cool,” Teba said. “Let me know how it goes. I've got shit to do. But if he's in jail again, don't call me. I did my time.”

Daruk pulled out his phone and dialed Revali's number as Teba left them. It took three rings before Revali answered.

“Yo.”

“Hey, man,” Daruk said. “The hell have you been?”

“I dunno,” Revali said. “I found this feather and I followed it.”

Daruk raised a brow and turned to his friends. “Huh?”

“Yeah, you'll never fuckin' believe it,” Revali continued. “It's a fucking feather, man. Like, the prettiest looking feather I've ever seen.”

“Is he on crack?” Link asked.

“The fuck are you smoking, dude?” Daruk said.

“No, guys,” Revali continued, sounding excited. “You gotta check this shit out. It's fucking magic, man. A fucking magic feather.”

“And where did you find this feather?” Urbosa said in a bored tone. “He's fucking with us,” she said to them.

“I swear to fuck I'm not,” Revali shouted. “I had this wild ass dream last night and this feather was in it, and when I woke up it was on the fucking window and I followed it.”

“Why the hell would you follow a feather?” Daruk asked.

“Because of the dream, man! The dream!”

“He's lost it,” Mipha said. “He's high as a kite.”

“Shut the fuck up, guys,” Revali said, still shouting. “Its magic! I'm a fucking legend! Just get the fuck over here and check it out!”

Daruk's brows furrowed. “Where are you?”

“I dunno,” Revali said. “Outside the city. Who the hell knows. I wasn't paying attention.”

“Fine,” Daruk said with a sigh. “I'll just stalk your phone. We're coming to get you.”

“Hey, wait,” Revali said. “Don't bring Link. I hate him.”

“You're a good friend, Revali,” Link said. “I don't give a damn about your stupid feather, anyway.”

Urbosa nudged Link's ribs. “Sounds like some magic shit you may want to look into,” she muttered. “You know, something to help with anondorf-gay.”

Link raised a questioning brow and Mipha giggled. Urbosa rolled her eyes and beckoned with her chin. “Come on.”

*****

The tracker on Revali's phone brought them right to him. To their surprise, he was much further away from the city than they realized. In fact, he was just on the edge of the Hebra region, almost a four hour drive from the city. The sun was already sinking low in the sky, threatening to dip behind the distant mountain range, still capped with snow despite the warmth of the approaching summer.

Revali stood atop the hill, playing with the feather that dangled from his wrist. He turned to his friends as they crested the hill, leaving the car behind on the side of the road.

“You're not just outside the city, dude,” Daruk said angrily. “We drove almost four hours to get here.”

“Really?” But this didn't seem to interest Revali. He held the feather up for them to see and grinned.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Daruk said. “All over a damn feather?”

“Hell, yeah,” Revali said. “Check this shit out!” Revali raised his arm with the feather around his wrist and a bow took shape in his palm, materializing out of thin air with an angelic flair. Specs of glittering dust moved together to form the structure of the bow, emitting a soft, golden light as it took form. His fingers wrapped around the wood of the bow, and with his other hand, he pulled back on the drawstring, and an arrow took shape in a similar manner. He pulled the arrow back, waited a moment for the world to fall still, then released. The arrow soared through the air, a light blue hue around it, flying gracefully toward the horizon. When it didn't make impact with a target, it simply burst into a glittering blue dust, catching the rays of the sun until it dissolved completely.

“Guess we've got our ranger,” Daruk muttered.

“Perfect,” Urbosa said with a hand on her hip. “We've got our Dungeons and Dragons team.” She rolled her eyes.

“Please tell me there aren't going to be dragons,” Mipha muttered.

Revali turned back to his friends proudly. “You bitches can't do that.”

Urbosa looked up and smirked. “Actually.” She snapped her fingers and lightning struck the ground just yards from them.

“Holy fuck!” Revali shouted, springing backwards. “What the fuck?”

“Yeah, you know something,” Daruk said with a hand on his chin in thought. “Link's the only one without cool powers.”

Link crossed his arms. “I have a sword,” he said. He dropped his arms after a moment, defeated. “And... a triangle that glows.”

“Wait,” Revali started, putting a hand in the air to stop them. “Rewind. You all have cool powers?”

Mipha shrugged. “I'm the healer.”

“The healer?”

“Yeah, so stay on her good side or she'll let you die,” Link muttered.

“You're serious,” Revali said slowly. His brows furrowed. “Wait... do you guys know about Ganondorf, too?”

Urbosa raised a brow. “How do you know about Ganondorf?”

“He was in my dream. It was like... like I had to stop him or something.”

“Something like that,” Daruk said.

Revali turned his wide eyes to him. “He's real? He was like, trying to take over the world!”

“Yeah,” Urbosa said. “So, he kinda needs to be stopped.”

“Well,” Revali said, straightening. “If this world needs a hero, a hero it will get!”

“Actually,” Link said with a grin. “That's my job.”

“Fuck off, loser.”

Urbosa sighed. “Yeah, that's Link's job.”

“Shit,” Revali spat. “We're -”

“We know,” the others said in unison.

“Shut the fuck up!” Link barked.

“So, this is real,” Revali said. “This is happening?”

They each nodded. And one by one, they each told a part of the story; of the legends, of how their own powers came to be, and of the recent attack by the Shadow Beasts. When they were finished, Revali stared at them dumbly. After a moment, he finally spoke.

“Why the fuck am I the last to know about this?”

“Because you're an unobservant loser,” Link muttered.

But Revali did not react to Link. He looked at the feather looped around his wrist for a moment. “So, if we're gonna be superheroes,” he started. “What's our name? We need a cool name.”

“The L-men,” Link said with a grin. “For Link.”

Revali snorted. “More like L for loser. That name sucks.”

“You suck.”

“I vote Justice League of Hyurle,” Daruk said.

“The Fantastic Five,” Revali said, then added, “and Link.”

“Those all suck,” Urbosa said.

“I agree,” Mipha said. “If anything, Zelda gets to pick the name. She is the princess of Hyrule, after all.”

Revali rolled her eyes. “She'll pick something stupid, like Unicorns or something.”

“You know her so well,” Link muttered.

“Fine,” Revali said. “But for the record, if you let Link be our little leader, you're all stupid.”

Link turned around and made his way down the hill, toward the car. “We're leaving him here, right?” he said over his shoulder.

His friends – and Revali – followed suit behind him.

“What the hell was Hylia thinking, anyway?” Revali said. “How can the fate of Hyrule rely on such an incompetent, lazy idiot?”

#legend of zelda #breath of the wild #fic #fanfic #loz #botw #shadows of hyrule #soh29