#ofc i wouldn't engage with the content bec i'd want my trans followers to feel safe

[daenerys-targaryen]

Thank you for being so open to listening (jkr discourse). The amount of ppl (mostly cis) who have victimized themselves, acted as though they’re being attacked when really we’re just trying to take down jkr’s massive platform, is shameful. No one is denying the nostalgia we all feel for HP but is it really worth endorsing someone so hateful? You’re so right about the best thing to do is to physically move on. I tried explaining this to another blogger and she and all her followers then accused me of acting like I thought I was better than her for not being emotionally attached even though I explained that i too had an emotional attachment to HP. Still, the best thing to do is block it out, engage in other media. Let the nostalgia exist in your brain but then just, let it go. It becomes a easier over time, I promise. Hope you’re well and thank you once again for not shutting out all the ppl who have been hurt by JKR for the sake of nostalgia ❤️

I don't know how to reply because I... wasn't an ally when this discussion was first brought to my blog. Obviously, for anyone who saw the discussion I had about this a few nights ago, you know that at first, I didn't really understand the issue in reblogging / engaging with hp content itself. That is what started it on this blog, I got an anon telling me to stop reblogging hp content because it supports JKR and I was confused and didn't understand that and I think I was on the defense because 1) I didn't know the full horrific deplorable extent of her actions and was just like, "you can separate the artist from the art," but to be honest 1) I'm not sure if I really believe that anymore and 2) even if that's possible for other artists / their work, I'm not sure if that's possible for hp / JKR at this point. I said that me reblogging hp didn't have any effect on people because everyone knows it at this point, and I won't give it any more exposure than it already has. I was also on the defense because I felt that people were saying you can't love Harry Potter and be an ally at the same time, which at the time I obviously felt like was too much. I felt like that was possible because I felt that I was a good ally. I saw other cis people express this same idea and felt comforted that I wasn't wrong. I was being a good ally. I knew I supported trans people, I donated to them, I signal boosted them any time I was given the opportunity to do so. I also was annoyed because there were people who were acting like they were better than me because they don't like hp which really annoyed me. I was also annoyed because I was told that it was 'fucked up' that I grew up on it as if I can change what I watched and was exposed to as a child, my mom single handily raised me and she loves high fantasy including star wars, star trek, lord of the rings and harry potter. Not to mention that we had no idea JKR would be this way when the books and then movies came out, but that's beside the point. I saw being a hp fan and engaging with it the same as keeping the water running when I brush my teeth or turning my car on a few minutes before I leave for work (aka, grey and not black and white as people make it seem) but it's not the same at all. So yeah, I was on the defense. I didn't quite understand the ramifications of engaging with hp and felt annoyed that someone was just telling me what I can and can't do on my own blog rather explain to me how me engaging with the content supports JKR.

Then... I saw trans people I follow and care about express how they understand that people are attached to the series, it still made them feel unsafe, unwelcome, and unloved. I can't tell you the overbearing amount of shame and guilt I felt at that moment. They felt unsafe because I was prioritizing a fictional universe and fond memories over their own well-being, their mental health, their safe space - whether I meant to or not, that's what I was doing. Whether I felt like I was doing that or not, that's what they felt I was doing. It's different when you just have an anonymous person in your inbox demanding you to stop reblogging something because x y z is happening and then when you personally see the effects your actions have caused someone. It's real easy to remove yourself from the problem when you feel like what you're doing isn't part of the problem.

I'm so sorry to hear that you were targeted. I was speaking with a friend who also loves Harry Potter about this and we both just kind of had a little therapy session and really grieved the love that we once had for the series and I've just come to the conclusion that the best thing to do for me personally to move on from it is to just not engage with it anymore. It will still exist and be there. I'll forever be fond of my childhood and being in a harry potter club and literally being on a quidditch team in high school, but at this point, I can't separate the art from the artist. I can't change my past, I can't change that I loved it once in my life, I can't change what JKR has done, but I can change how I engage with it now and in the future. Not to mention how I've heard that the books are even more transphobic, are racist, and misogynist, I haven't read them but I have no doubt that it's true. So it overall just leaves a nasty and bitter taste in my mouth.

Being a woman, being queer myself, and being autistic, I know that when a group that is discriminated against tells you that you shouldn't do this because x y z, you probably should listen to them. I didn't at first. I had to be told that I was wrong. I had to look that in the face and understand that engaging with hp meant that I was actively engaging with her anti-trans rhetoric and agenda even if I was vehemently against it in my heart and head.

So no, I don't want to be thanked, I want to thank you for allowing me to be wrong and allowing me to grow and change my opinion when presented with a new perspective. Thank you. Thank you for not immediately assuming I was this or that and just letting me be wrong and letting me learn from my mistakes. I'm not perfect and while I of course know that, I think sometimes it's really easy to just blast people for this and that online because this isn't real life. It's easy to blast someone online, even if you're mutuals or were friends, it's really easy to take what they're saying at face value and I think that allowing people to gain the full perspective and change and grow as people is so important because otherwise, what's the point?

It absolutely will become easier with time. Thankfully I'm more emotionally attached to the likes of Lord of the Rings, but yes, everyone will grieve and let go in their own time but what matters is that they eventually stop engaging with it altogether. It's ok to be fond of it. It's ok to have nostalgia for it. However, it's more important to support trans people and help them feel safe today than support someone who actively hates them and funds the pockets of transphobic politicians.

#jkr #harry potter #jk rowling #transphobia tw #long long post #leah has mail #anonymous #i'm so appreciative of you i'm being so sincere here #there's nothing more to be said #for people who are extremely emotionally attached to it i think we'll have to allow them to grieve the series in their own time and way #because idk if someone like this happened to the lotr fandom i have no idea what i would do #those movies and the music just mean so fucking much to me #i couldn't imagine the likes of this happening to lotr. i wouldn't be able to just ~ stop ~ loving it immediately. #it would take time. #i wouldn't be able to just ~ let it go ~ over night. #human emotions are so complex and layers and it really isn't just as simple as ~ dropping it ~ you know? #ofc i wouldn't engage with the content bec i'd want my trans followers to feel safe #but i would need time in my heart and mind to accept what it became. #idk if this makes sense but this isn't the hp that i fell in love with as a kid. it's evil and twisted and dark and hateful now. #it feels more like a betrayal than anything. like. how could something that means so much to me become this. #i can't imagine what trans fans of hp have had to go through?? god. it's just such a knife in the back. #anyways i'm done rambling i guess