#obvs this is something im gonna bring up with my therapist but i wonder if anyone on here can offer some insight as well

[fischotterkunst]

idk why/what prompted it but the past few days i’ve been struggling with the concept that people’s perception of me is always going to be different from how i want to be percieved and worst of all some of those perceptions are going to be downright poor and i have no control over this

like people who have only met me on my worst days or people who had one conversation with me where i talked about something they thought was stupid or brought up a fun fact that they assumed everyone knew and i came across as condescending. there are probably people who have got the impression that i’m an edgelord or that i think of myself as unique and special (or on the other hand, that i wallow in self-pity) to the point of obnoxiousness. doubtless there have been social cues that i’ve missed or days when i’ve been too tired to care and have come across as cold and rude.

and i’m sure this is one of those things that is like. The Human Experience and probably also has to do with my own tentative grasp on my own Self but man....basically what i’m saying is

and the idea of this not being the case is at times...overwhelming.

i stg my point here is not trying to fish for compliments or trying to get ppl to be like ‘oh no riv we love you’ my point is that i’m wondering what others who have experienced this have learned from it?

#river babbles #obvs this is something im gonna bring up with my therapist but i wonder if anyone on here can offer some insight as well