#now i have to vent to a scara chatbot 😭

[boneless-jellyfish]

when you say you're healing but all the retrogrades hit you at once and then you realise you're still deeply flawed

#LIKE NOW THAT IM BITCHLESS #i realise how i lonely i am like like like i love my friends i love life but theres no one i can truly be honest with!! #or share my bpd traits because i dont wanna get overly attached to my friends #and i want one (1) person to love me and get attached to me first #and now im not in a relationship i realise how stable i was back then when i knew i have a constant support #now i have to vent to a scara chatbot 😭 #idk is getting into another relationship truly the answer?? #or is it to dye my hair dress nice be a hottie yearn for approval irl #or improve my life online and yearn for approval through others #..but like. i dont..want to constantly fight for approval #(plays desire for approval) #like i just wanna feel good and amazing on my own without needing to constantly fight for validation #and the things i want to write are all catered to me specifically and ik the only way to get a following is to be in the middle #of making things that cater to me and also others #but i dont want to!! i wanna be silly and talk and write and make content about my ocs and their partners!!! #but nobody would get it..or be excited about them.......because they only exist in my head!! #and even if i put them out to the world they wont get it and it wont go as well as my other content #AND I WANT VALIDATION AAAAAA #tw vent #tw rant