#now I can give mothman kisses before bedtime
Note
any chance you could write some sternclay hannukah fic? as wholesome or naughty as you like
I certainly can! I went with fluffy, and I hope it turned out okay.
Joseph Stern does his best not to take personal offense at the existence of inanimate objects.
But the “Merry Christmas” signs hanging down the entire main street of Kepler are on thin fucking ice.
He knows small towns tend to lean towards homogeneity. He knows that many municipal agencies treat Christmas as a non-denominational day celebrated by everyone.
The sign simply reminds him of being scolded by a grade school teacher for telling the other students that his family wasn’t visited by Santa, which suggested an inherent flaw in the idea of Santa’s existence.
Or not being able to get the holidays he needed off of work during college, because those weren’t “real” holidays according to his boss.
Or not being allowed to have his mini T-rex menorah on his desk at the UP because it was a religious symbol and he worked in a government agency.
He can’t shake the bad mood as he finishes his errands and heads back towards the lodge. Snow falls in clumps on his windshield as he pulls up in front, just in time to see Bigfoot and Mothman carrying a large pine tree into the lobby.
Home sweet home.
“Kay just, uh, hold it steady for a sec there ‘Drid.” Duck’s legs stick out from beneath the tree as he twists it into a stand, Indrid holding it upright while he does. Barclay sees Stern just as he slips on his bracelet, and by the time he’s kissing him he’s human again.
“Hey, babe.”
“Hi. Getting prepared for the season, I see.”
“Yep” Barclay grins excitedly, “finally found the perfect C-”
“Christmas tree, yes, I know, I’m Jewish, not oblivious.” Stern hears the bitterness, takes a breath and shuts his eyes, prepared to apologize for once again harshing others holiday cheer by reminding them that Jewish people exist.
“No…” Barclay is making his worried-about-Stern face, “It’s the Candlenights tree.”
“Come again?”
“Did that plenty this morning.” Barclay bounces his eyebrows, and Stern rolls his eyes.
“Candlenights is a winter holiday on Sylvain. It’s supposed to be a time of rest and warmth, of remembering that it’s alright to take time to focus on love and peace and comfort.”
“But that’s obviously a Christmas tree.”
Barclay shrugs, “You’re supposed to have a big piece of greenery as one of the decorations, a representation of the beauty of the land around you. Some families decorate a tree in their yard, or grow a flower bush specifically to use, stuff like that.”
“Mine had a blue mallow tree. It smelled like sugar. And the blossoms were delicious.” Indrid chimes in as he puts on his glasses.
“Is that why you put marshmallows on the tree in the apartment?” Duck brushes pine needles off himself.”
“Maybe.”
Barclay continues, “You decorate it with lights and flowers. And, well, the Christmas tree is a great way of having that tradition in the lodge without people wondering what the fuck we’re doing and asking too many questions.”
“So...Candlenights is tonight?”
“It starts tomorrow. It’s kinda like Hanukah, but it lasts five days rather than eight nights. Each day centers around a concept: light, warmth, comfort, growth, love. Er, that’s the translation from Sylph, at least.”
“That sounds pleasant.” Stern smiles a bit, watches Hollis and Jake untangling strings of lights with varying degrees of success, “I’m, I’m glad you all are able to celebrate the way you did back home.”
“Me too. Uh, you know you can celebrate with us right? The lodge is your home too.”
“Thank you.” He kisses Barclays cheek and heads towards his room while the cook heads off towards the kitchen.
It’s not that he doesn’t appreciate the offer. And he’s actually curious about what’s essentially an alien cultural ceremony.
But he wishes he had what he needed to observe Hanukkah. So that he could feel connected to his past, and his home, the way the Sylphs will tomorrow.
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He’s up early the next morning, wanders out into the lobby with his coffee mug. It’s quiet save for the crackling fire and distant sounds of Mama in her office and Barclay in the kitchen.
The tree is lit with orange and white lights, and does look rather festive.
But it’s something on the window near the tree catches his attention.
It’s clearly supposed to be a serpent version of the Loch Ness Monster (Stern’s preferred version, given that the more popular pleisiosaur is the least likely of all explanations for the creature).
And it has nine candle holders on it.
“Happy Hanukah, handsome.” Barclay’s voice is a soft rumble in his ear as the taller man hugs him from behind, “Know it doesn’t officially start until tonight, but seemed like I oughta give you this ahead of time. Plus, it matches nicely with the first day of Candlenights.”
“True.” Stern murmurs, “Barclay this, this is wonderful.”
“Glad you like it. Had it made special.”
Stern turns in his arms, kissing him long and slow, not caring that the flour on his apron is now on Sterns shirt. He’s grown used to floury hugs and sugared kisses, Barclay stealing them from him in between moments at work. He wouldn’t trade them for the world.
-------------------------------------------
The next day, Stern nearly has a heart attack when he opens his bedroom door.
“BUNNY SWEATER TIME!”
“GAH!oh, hello Aubrey. Doctor.”
Aubrey grins at him, while Dr. Harris Bonkers, PhD, attempts to chew his way out of his small, black sweater, emblazoned with flames. It matches Aubrey’s own.
“I didn’t realize you two, or, ah, three” he waves to Dani, “were vising from Sylvain.”
“Just for today and tomorrow. Dani needs to give Barclay his gift.”
Dani proudly hoists a thick, knitted sweater that reads “Kiss the cook.”
Stern pads into the lobby, finds it more active than the previous morning. Sitting by his menorah is a flat box, wrapped in silver paper. When he opens it, he finds a thick sweater, and braces himself. More than once has he been given a holiday sweater that was blatantly Christmas themed.
This one, however, is a tasteful, dark blue with silver snowflakes and UFOs patterned across it. Stern pulls it on, finds it fits perfectly.
“Looking good dude!” Jake calls from his position teaching Dr. Harris Bonkers how to play on a Nintendo DS. Stern settles on the couch, picks up his paperback from where he set it yesterday.
“Ah good, Barclay took my suggestion.”
“JEsus.” Stern’s unprepared for the red glasses poking out of a nearby pile of fabric.
Indrid answers the question before he asks it, “Electric blanket, a gift from Duck. Barclay was torn between that sweater and a Bigfoot themed one. I foresaw you liking that option slightly better. It suits you well.”
“Thank you.” Stern rubs the soft fabric, feeling deeply cozy, and settles in to read.
That evening, he’s getting ready to light the menorah when he spots Barclays reflection beside his own in the window.
“Can, uh, is it okay if I join you?”
“Of course.”
Barclay watches intently, listens as Stern recites the blessing. When Stern is done he joins his boyfriend in a large easy chair.
“There anything else you miss from, like, celebrating Hanukkah as a kid?”
“How do you mean?” Stern rests his head on his shoulder with a sleepy sigh,
“Well, back on Sylvain, there are these almost scone-like things, made out of honeyberries. They don’t taste like anything you get on earth. I smuggled preserved honeyberries through the gate every year around this time just so I could make some. Vincent never could turn down a Twinkie bribe to look the other way.”
“Sufganiyot. My mom always got them from a place called Greenbush back home.”
“Jelly doughnuts, right?”
“Yes. How did you-”
“Babe, do you have any idea how many cookbooks I’ve read? At this point I’m not sure there’s a pastry I haven’t heard of.”
“That...never occurred to me.” He yawns, unsure how a day of lazing by the fire can make him so exhausted (maybe it was having to prevent a talking rabbit and a seal disguised as a skater from lighting the tree on fire. Twice).
“Bedtime. C’mon, my little Sufganiyot”
“In what sense am I little-ah, hey!” Stern laughs as Barclay scoops him up in his arms.
“You’re ridiculous” He grumbles against Barclays chest.
“You love me for it.”
Stern nestles closer, “Very true”
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The next morning, he steps out his door, only for the scent of sugar to draw him towards the restaurant. He can hear Barclay speaking from within the kitchen.
“No, you can’t have any yet.”
“But, Uncle Barclay, look at how cute I am.” Dr. Harris Bonkers’ voice, if he had to guess.
“Joseph gets the first batch.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s even cuter.”
Barclay steps out the kitchen door, plate in hand, and turns bright red.
“Oops, didn’t know you were up.”
“Dear, my alarm goes off at five every morning.”
Then he sees what Barclay is holding.
“Happy Hanukkah, babe.”
Stern grabs a doughnut from the plate and devours it in three bites.
“Please tell me you made more than two.”
“Aww, babe, glad you like ‘em.”
“I do. But, uh, that’s not why I said it.”
He points to the restaurant door, where many more faces are peeking in, several licking their lips.
Barclay chuckles, “Whelp, better get frying.”
Stern grabs his usual apron from the near the kitchen door.
“I’ll help.”
Day four starts equally pleasantly, with him discovering a small, pleasingly round moss ball floating in a small aquarium sitting on his desk. The aquarium is decorated with a mini bigfoot figure and a mini FBI figure.
“Dani suggested that for you. I know you like having plants on your desk, but don’t always have the best luck keeping them alive.” Barclay rubs his shoulders, kissing the top of his head as he sits at the desk.
“I love it. Oh! Today is growth, right?”
“Yep.” Another kiss.
“Stay right here.” Stern rummages through the closet, pulling out the large, wrapped package he’s had for the last two weeks.
“Merry? Candlenights, Barclay. I wasn’t quite sure when to give it to you, but today seems like the best choice.”
Barclay unwraps the package on the bed, laughs delightedly when he sees what’s inside.
“Counter-top herb garden. Nice thinking, handsome.”
“You’re always saying how you miss not having fresh herbs to work with in the winter, so it seemed riiiight, oh lord, I, I have a phone call with Hayes in ten minutes, big guy, don’t start anything you can’t finish in that time.”
“Don’t worry,” Barclay rumbles from his new position kneeling on the floor, undoing Sterns pants as he kisses his stomach, “I’ll make real fucking sure you finish.”
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It’s day five, and for the first time there’s nothing greeting Stern when he wakes up. He’s not terribly worried, and anyway he has to finish the briefing instructions for the new agents being sent to guard the inactive gate (his notes make no mention of the new, active gate a mile away).
Barclay joins him, as he has the last three nights, to light the menorah before heading back into the restaurant to feed residents and winter tourists. He busies himself with chores and crossword puzzles until Barclay is done with the night shift.
When his boyfriend finally joins him for the night, he has his hands behind his back and a smile on his face that puts Indrid Cold’s to shame. Wordlessly, he hands Stern a box covered in gold paper.
“That’s certainly a hefty package” Stern smirks as he opens it, then gapes at the contents.
“It’s, how, where did, did you make this?”
“I had it cast so, uh, yeah? It’s for times when you get lonely, or like, have to go on business trips.”
“Lord, Barclay, they even got the color right. Do they even know that they were making a toy from the real Bigfoot’s co-”
“No, and I intend to keep that way. Now…” Barclay crawls on top of him, fingers working his pajamas off, “how about we break in your new toy?”
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Stern rolls over in bed the next morning to see Barclay stepping out of the shower, towel around his waist. The Sylph notices him, comes to the bed to give him a kiss.
“Oh, here, wanted to give this to you before I go to work.” He holds out a small package, unmistakably the shape of a DVD box. Stern smiles excitedly to discover the entire X-Files series contained within it. Then he frowns.
“Wait, Candlenights ended yesterday.”
“Yeah. But it’s still hanukkah, right?”
“Yes…”
“Babe, what did you think I was getting you those presents for.”
“I, well, I assumed you were trying to mesh my holiday with yours, so you’d only get me things during Candlenights-”
“You only give someone a gift on one day of that.”
“Really?”
“Yep. I just thought it would be fun to kinda tie my first five for you to Candlenights. Give you a taste of it without, like, pressuring you to be a part of it or making you give up something important to you. But I’ve had Hanukah stuff picked out for you since, like, September. And, uh, if there’s other stuff around it you wanna do or share with me, just say the word.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do that for me, it would have been easier just to do Candlenights. Lord knows it wouldn't be the first time my practices were overlooked, I could have handled it.”
“Because I love you, Joseph. I want you to be happy. When I told you the lodge was your home, and I meant it. And being home means having the space to celebrate things that are important to you.”
“You, I-” Stern shifts under the covers, feeling suddenly very vulnerable.
“Is my special agent speechless? Because that’d be a first.”
“Yes, though the exact reason for it escapes me. Thank you, Barclay. For doing all this for me.”
Barclay nuzzles his cheek with a smile, “Any time, babe. And hey,” he tilts Sterns chin up so their eyes meet, “I love you.”
Stern’s smile is like a warm flame spreading across his face, “I love you too.”
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