#nobody is influencing it to be worse this time I’m just obscenely stressed at the moment quite bad a always when it happens

[sir-klauz]

Sleep paralysis/night horror thing has returned a lot in the last few months.. I usually get horrible bouts every 2-3 years but I vaguely made it to 4 this time. I suppose that’s something, but I don’t normally have them as much as this time or multiple separate “occurrences” per night, usually just one. It’s the usual ones but more frequent, it doesn’t help when a hallucination hurts you let alone touches you like that, it doesn’t make it easy to remember it’s not a real thing. Everyone says it’s only “the feeling of it on your chest” due to the famous painting “The Nightmare” but it’s really not only that for physical experiences, I’ve had it compress and hurt my head, hurt my sides, or touch my back before so. It’s hard when logically knowing “it’s not really there!” when it hurts as well as visuals, because even just the paralysis is pretty grim anyway alone.

I’m a bit thrown honestly again, as always when this starts happening again.. I don’t know if I should talk about it here, I used to get worried doing so to anyone really unless they experienced it.. not everyone looks fondly on mental health struggles. I just hope it goes away. I’ll try keep to the back of my mind again so hopefully it goes faster. I’m glad I have a nice manga to pick up and read right now. Everyone else is asleep and I don’t want hugs.

#this is the worst that could happen right now I’ve never dealt at all with this #sleep paralysis #night terrors #I normally don’t bring it up unless I have to either as it influences them to be brought on if I talk about it but they’re already happening #so I guess I’ll just vent a little #I don’t know what id do if I didn’t have manga and nice visuals to calm down and rewrite my mental imagery like I didn’t think to use before #im hallucinating again #nobody is influencing it to be worse this time I’m just obscenely stressed at the moment quite bad a always when it happens #sleep paralysis tw #sleep paralysis cw #please don’t judge me for this it’s a pretty common thing and not nice to experience #I wouldn’t wish it on anyone it’s why I’ve not turned my bedroom lights off in 10 years when it started #my dreams have always been very vivid though but there’s a huge difference between regular nightmares and this stuff #reminder to anyone who goes through this they’re not real demons and physical pain or touch is temporary and you will be able to move again #I used to try take all sorts as a teenager to try block it out from happening but I don’t wanna do that anymore as I have responsibilities