#no one will EVER be like him period 🖐️😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

elysianluv · 3 years

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content warning/s: reader has a menstrual cycle

ASKING FOR FAKE MENSTRUAL PRODUCTS! ft. fuegoleon, nozel, licht, yuno

fuegoleon vermillion.

— definitely makes a weird face before nodding super determinedly because "this is my duty as your boyfriend, my darling, why wouldn't i go?"

— not you already feeling guilty 😭🖐️

— i shit you not he genuinely looks traumatized when he returns

— "darling, i tried five different stores," looks at you apologetically before murmuring, "the employees were a bit rude though."

— while you're: 👁️👄👁️❓

— "i asked if they knew where i could find the ouchie coohie 3000 and they just started laughing at me! is it that strange for me to buy products for you??"

— well congrats now you're 100% guilt ridden bc this babe apparently refuses to believe you could've tricked him </3

— how could you do this

— but nooo he keeps going, "i told them my precious s/o was in a lot of pain, so they kept on referring me to other stores and laughing. is it an extremely rare product, my sweet?"

— "uh– well, uhm– you see..."

— do you have the heart to break his trust? do you??

— but then this glorious bastard grins at your distraught expression, a mischievous glint in his eyes

— "do you have something to say, darling? my love? the one i trust more than myself? my one and—"

— "did you– just–?? was this an uno reverse??" yes, yes it was </3

— apparently the employees from the first store exposed the prank and told him to guilt trip you 💀 bless them acting skills fue 😌✨

— still smirking, fue closes in on you, "how does it feel, hm? the bitter sting of betrayal? does it hurt, (y/n)?"

— good job, you've created a monster 😊

nozel silva.

— apparently you have no fears 😬✌️

— he's suspicious the moment you request the product because literally why should he go get it instead of a servant when he could be cuddling you instead

— also he just doesn't trust you on your period, you once asked for a hoard of chocolates, fell asleep in the few minutes it took him to get them, then scolded him for not waking you even though you would've scolded him more for waking you 😔

— scolded him again when he went "i'm royalty 😤😤"

— goes anyway like simp he is

— he's smiling when he gets back

— the moment you knew you fucked up

— "never in 29 years have i ever–" takes in a deep breath before continuing, "...the shopkeeps said the 'unicorn wing tampon size extra extra large' didn't exist."

— so you try to pull a fast one on him, "oh, did they not have the size?"

— his eyes narrow at you and you think yes, i've got him

— until mercury starts pooling together in the air surrounding him

— ABORT MISSION

— it's his special move -- the mercury forms a hand that aims for your worst ticklish spots, nozel's face neutral as if he isn't about to torture you

— and you very well know he's merciless so you do the one thing you can: 🏃💨

— you now have one(1) fear

licht.

— you'd think this genius had it all figured out

— turns out he's as big of a simp as we all knew he was </3

— "oh, the rechargeable tampon 300? are there sizes? how many would you like, love? last time there were a million sizes of pads and this old lady tried explaining it all to me and it was so bad."

— look me in the eye and say you're going to do this literal ray of sunshine like that smfh

— his face is SO red when he returns, immediately falling on top of you

— "nope, never going back there again ever."

— and you're just snickering like, "oh, did you run into the old lady again?"

— "yes!! i did!!! she laughed at me (y/n), she laughed at me i swear i have never been this humiliated, why are you so cruel--"

— so you're trying to stop wheezing bc you're supposed to bribe him with kisses now, wrapping your arms around his torso in a back hug that he dodges

— "no, i hereby revoke your cuddle privileges."

— he looks like the embodiment of "no talk me angy"

— "whaaaat no you can't do that, i won't let you trample all over my human rights like that 😤🖐️"

— sis he's used to your bs by now 😔 "that's literally not a human right?? what are you taking about 😐"

— "you're an elf, go ask lumiere this counts as cruelty and maltreatment and injustic--"

— he won't budge, have fun sleeping on the couch tonight 👏👏

— no bc he's gonna pick you up and bring you to the bed when you're asleep and claim that you came yourself sleepwalking in the morning, he's so in love it makes him look stupid 😅

yuno.

— can smell your bs from a mile away, this one

— which is why you've got to convince him you're on the verge of death unless you get this certain product

— klaus and mimosa bully him into going as well, both of them in on it

— "how can call yourself a good boyfriend if you can't assist (y/n) through this gruesome ordeal, yuno? as your senpai did i fall short? did i fail to teach you of the important things in life? for example the squeaky clean-a vageen-a?"

— he returns to find you, mimosa, klaus, and langris playing the floor is lava, jumping all around the headquarters like monkeys while captain vangeance keeps score 😌✨

— "you didn't find it? i wonder why,"

— if you think he's gonna take that lmaoo "maybe because it doesn't exist?"

— genuinely tries to look pissed, but his ears are so red that he almost whines at your cruelty

— just when you think he's too embarrassed to pull anything backhanded a gust of wind takes you wobbling upwards, controlled by a simple flick of his wrist

— ruins your hair on purpose, bastard

— "you owe me so many cuddles for that,"

— holds an actual grudge until you manage to placate him with the promise of cuddles and food (how you gonna keep it down after he flung you around in a whole tornado 😐)

[masterlist]

#fuegoleon vermillion x reader #nozel silva x reader #licht x reader #yuno grinberryall x reader #black clover x reader #sera's fluff tag <3 #dating headcanons

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