#no one who was the fuck uo and grew up anyways like ughhhhhhhh I hate everything I wish my dad was alive

[milo-is-rambling]

Going to eat a brown sugar cinnamon pop tart for the first time since my dad died. I’m craving it. It will make me cry. Going to hot box the bathroom while I take a bath and then cry and eat a pop tart in the bath. I’m bringing pocket joe for companionship

#I took a dab and then went oh shit a bath would be fantastic rn. and then I said. wait. I’m hungry. I want a pop tart. I also want to cry in #the bath. this feels like a win win then when my high wears off and I stop feeling my emotions I can smoke the joint and it will fix me #life hack. #also pop tarts make me sad bc my dad ate pop tarts like every fucking morning with his coffee and it was like his thing and he always joked #about pop tarts being programmer food #ughhhhh I want to cry I miss my dad I’m pmsing I just got fired I feel like a total failure my mom likes my brother more than me my dad #understood being the fuck up kid who’s traumatized and struggling like oh my god now that I’ve experienced losing someone that close I want #to go back in time to when he was alive and talk about losing his sister and how hard that was on him I mean he was my age when his older #sister died and it fucked him up and his death fucked me up around the same age I feel like I’m destined to become my father and I hated him #so much growing up but now that I feel like it’s gonna happen no matter what I can’t help but just wish he was here to talk to #my mom is far too good at being a normal person and so is my brother and my dad was the fuck up and he understood how I felt and now I have #no one who was the fuck uo and grew up anyways like ughhhhhhhh I hate everything I wish my dad was alive