#no idea. unrelated: i have in fact written quite a bit of aftg fanfiction

[birlwrites]

ttdl if the marauders and regulus's group were in the same year

i came up with this in the tags of my last post so if you notice some similarities between this post and the tags on that one, that's why

slughorn assigns potions partners alphabetically by last name so regulus and sirius would DEFINITELY be partners. they'd be INFURIATED. sirius would strongly consider changing his last name to potter. regulus would say 'what, you can't even handle my presence? pathetic' and then out of spite sirius would stay potions partners with him

evan and james: constantly competing to be The Cool Funny Popular One. at all times. they're fucking insufferable

regulus knows EVERYTHING in astronomy and sirius can't decide whether to pretend to know nothing to spite his family or to reveal that he also knows everything to spite regulus specifically (because he can't have people thinking regulus is the smarter one!! no fucking way!!!)

lucinda and lily would be friends and they would also frequently look at each other like 'are we the only sane people here' and the answer would be no. because none of them are sane.

remus is having constant breakdowns in the corner watching his friends get into ANOTHER fight with the slytherins about ANOTHER incredibly stupid thing that will probably result in sirius being decked YET AGAIN by barty crouch jr

(the first time this happened is because they were fighting and barty said something like 'if you say one more word i'm going to hit you' and sirius said something like 'why bother threatening me? just hit me then!! or are you a COWARD' and that is how they wound up in the hospital wing)

the teachers all have a meeting on the subject of 'do we separate them for detention or do we make them do detention together as part of the punishment'

the answer depends on who they're trying to combine. james will be grumpy but non-combative in detention with anyone except regulus (then there's fighting). you cannot put barty and sirius in the same room and expect it to go well. or even mediocrely. if you put regulus and sirius in the same room there won't be outright fighting but there will be constant bickering with the meanest zingers you've ever heard. it's hilarious but you Cannot Laugh because you're also a little horrified at the barbs they are trading. also because you're supervising their detention

the embarrassingly huge crush that emma definitely had on marlene mckinnon in fourth year would be even WORSE because now they would INTERACT REGULARLY

charlotte is also having a constant breakdown in the corner but it's not because her friends are getting into fights it's because everyone around her has lost it and she cannot get peace and quiet ANYWHERE in the castle and dumbledore refuses to let her transfer to hufflepuff

regulus would have significantly less time to fight a war because he'd be busy coming up with new ways to get back at james for his most recent crime (e.g. breathing too loudly)

neither gryffindor nor slytherin would win the house cup for a full seven years

they wOULD however set a new record for 'largest number of students in detention for being involved in the same fight'

as well as 'largest number of students who are SO infuriated by each other that even the presence of minerva mcgonagall is not enough to persuade them to BEHAVE THEMSELVES'

james attempts to bodily pick up and throw regulus into the black lake

regulus retaliates by locating the proper window of gryffindor tower, flying up to it in the middle of the night, breaking it, and dumping gallons of lake water into the room

evan helps, just for shits and giggles

maeve would help but she's terrified of heights so she mostly helps with gathering the water

regulus and remus go a full 4.5 years without exchanging a single word because remus (correctly) assumes that the ONLY thing keeping him out of the fighting is the fact that he has never antagonized regulus

barty and remus are secret DADA study partners. they attempt to take this secret to their graves. unfortunately the marauders' map ruins this and sirius and regulus have a SCREAMING FIGHT over it in the great hall at breakfast the next day

regulus's reputation for being cool and collected is completely destroyed. actually it never existed

gryffindor v slytherin quidditch matches routinely draw the entire school to watch. they love finding out about quidditch fouls they didn't know existed. they also love remus's commentary because of his editorial comments about his fraying sanity and his countdown to graduation (which he begins in third year). once he gets the number of days wrong and mcgonagall corrects him. she's counting too

but over the years remus stops being surprised by literally anything that happens in these quidditch matches

so his commentary turns into 'aaaand it looks like the gryffindor seeker is attempting to shove the slytherin seeker off his broom... last year that didn't happen until about half an hour into the match, this year they've beat that time by twenty minutes, i suppose that's progress... sirius black's broom seems to be on fire... either one of the slytherins has managed to sneak their wand onto the pitch or they have someone who can do wandless magic... either way it bodes poorly for the rest of my week. potter has hit vanity in the face with the quaffle, unclear if that was a flubbed pass or if it was on purpose. madam hooch is not calling that as a penalty, i assume because she's decided to let the minor fouls slide and focus on the ones that verge on attempted murder, she only has so much time in the day after all. 703 days of this left, by the way'

'706, lupin'

'oh sorry, professor, you're right. 706'

#hp #dark lord wip #barty: YOU'RE SAYING A BROKEN NOSE IS A MINOR FOUL???? #emma with blood pouring down her face: yeah i can still play this is nothing #did you know there's a 4096 character limit on individual bullet points #because i didn't #when did ttdl become a dark academia sports anime? #no idea. unrelated: i have in fact written quite a bit of aftg fanfiction #and emma is absolutely channeling kevin and neil here