#neither one of them wants to subsume their selfhood in the other

[reachexceedinggrasp]

I definitely agree that reylo fics have characterization issues, but I'd be curious to know which ones bother you most

I wrote a real response to almost the same question back when I had motivation to write in full sentences and it was basically that people are getting the dynamic totally wrong (to me, the canon dynamic absolutely is not, never was, and can’t support ‘bitter aggressive rivals’ or hate-as-sexual-tension or ‘sexy bad boy lures good woman with his alpha prowess’. That’s just so fundamentally wrong, mostly about who Ben is as a character and what his motives/emotional responses were throughout the story, that it’s not recognisable or enjoyable as reylo at all). And people are projecting Good Girl/Bad Guy or Pride and Prejudice type tropes on to them that are not a good fit for either character at all.

More:

https://frumfrumfroo.tumblr.com/post/181024766365/the-most-popular-meta-take-on-kylo-in-the-reylo?is_related_post=1

https://frumfrumfroo.tumblr.com/post/185345512510/what-are-your-expectations-for-post-st-ben

https://frumfrumfroo.tumblr.com/post/189231715000/yeah-one-thing-i-wish-is-that-more-reylo-fic-took

https://frumfrumfroo.tumblr.com/post/185136933290/i-see-one-popular-take-comes-back-after-the-vf-sw?is_related_post=1

https://frumfrumfroo.tumblr.com/post/187833450365/it-really-bothers-me-that-some-intelligent-reylos?is_related_post=1

Basically, Dark Fuck Prince and a Rey of Sunshine who is totally well-adjusted and has a loving circle of friends who understand her completely are the things I hate the most. To me, I don’t know why you’re using the character’s names at that point because it’s that far away and it’s also completely devoid of the things I find compelling and moving about the ship.

People making Ben a driven political ideologue (lol), having him spoilt or entitled or overconfident, hating his family, and/or validating his negative self beliefs like they’re objectively correct and fine things for him to believe. People putting Rey on a pedestal, not allowing her a secret inner life or to be badly wrong about her most important assumptions (which is like... foundational), not acknowledging her maladaptiveness and validating the Perfect Replacement Child vibe of the sequel trilogy but thinking it’s fine because Ben is alive and okay with it (this has always been a problem in reylo fic but NOW it’s SO INTOLERABLE that even a whiff of it is enough to ruin not only the fic but the author for me). Treating both of their major conflicts they should have spent the trilogy overcoming as inherent aspects of their personalities to be cherished and preserved forever. Morality chain growth/redemption for Ben, no arc at all for Rey.

Like, so so often I start a fic and I’m like ‘who are these people’ because it’s about some jealous, possessive Alphahole Dickhead who is sexually aggressive, super confident and arrogant and some plucky bland girl who is perfect in every way except that she can’t help wanting to fuck this asshole. They flirt by sniping at each other and never appear to enjoy one another’s company or have any empathy for each other but they are sexually attracted so it must be love. I don’t read romance novels because so many of them are that and I fucking hate it, the whole reason I like ships like reylo so much is because they are NOT that. The themes of isolation and compassion are not incidental, they are the entire basis of the pairing. The two of them ‘saving’ each other and helping each other grow is essential to defining their connection.

You can’t just write generic ‘rival’ banter and slot it in and call that flirting. The TLJ novelisation had this and it was terrible imo. It sounded nothing like the characters. They can absolutely banter, but you have to write to the dynamic.

Also, they are big giant virgins and it’s actually really important.

#I fucking despise the 'she's better than him in every way and he loves it' thing that a lot of fic does as well #I hate reading him constantly feeling the need to grovel and debase himself and her never noticing or SOUNDLY rejecting that pov #a) TLJ Rey would never stand for that b) it's squicky and reflects poorly on both characters #it's definitely a Thing because it's pretty common in romance put I find it very very off-putting #and I don't enjoy seeing male characters debasing themselves as 'unworthy' and never learning love isn't something you earn #I'm not great we're off the track here #sw #salt #neither of these characters are doormats just because they're desperate for belonging #neither one of them wants to subsume their selfhood in the other #and I can't believe how many terrible takes on redemption I see read even in soft reylo fic it's astonishing #people really really REALLY can't let go of the idea that love is transactional and forgiveness is something you earn #reylo