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#negatives: living with my mom. her boyfriend. two dogs. in a state i strongly dislike. with no positive connections. in a basement.
carnivalcarriondiscarded
·
9 months
Text
nothing like a call from your mother to make that escapism feel extra sweet
#oops vent post Look Away Look Away i am once again bleeding all over my blog
#ohhhhh boy am i gonna get Creatively Active tonight
#we love to see my living situation crash and burn oh boy oh boy
#i get three more months and then!!! back into the fire i go!
#and the frying pan was just starting to get cozy....
#well! time to brush up on my masking and acting skills
#absolutely unprompted
#yknow it was actually funny
#i went on a walk right after that call
#and it felt like i was in a fucking movie. symbolism was ever
#literally stood and stared at the 'no connection' street sign for a solid two minutes
#feeling the Irony
#then a black cat stopped and stared at me from down the road?
#and a hummingbird flew over to look me in the eye??
#walked under an apple tree but every single apple was rotting???
#a fly decided to land on me for a split second and then flew away? felt Ominous
#didnt see a raven though so thats a plus. or a minus. im not superstitious and i love ravens
#plus side of being forced to move: i get to keep both of my cats and ill no longer be in this damn state.
#negatives: living with my mom. her boyfriend. two dogs. in a state i strongly dislike. with no positive connections. in a basement.
#its gonna be so fun! (sarcastic. lying. said through gritted teeth)
#agh sorry sorry
#once again treating tumblr like my personal diary
#just. sigh.
#well if i get a job right away and save up
#maybe ill be able to find somewhere with roommates!
#people my ageish! fellow queers perhaps! somewhere welcoming
#where i can relax and feel Understood and perhaps even content with being alive
#where i have room to not just force the love of existence but truly Feel it
#i have hope! i have hope... i am miserable but one day! i may not be!
#ive waited and survived this long! ill make it! i will fucking make it i swear to god
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