#narrator: HERE COMES DADDY SUN WITH THE STEEL CHAIRRRRRRR

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

second hardest part of writing sanguo is that my kiwi upbringing means i have 0 respect for authority and cannot resist the urge to take the piss out of Important Historical Figures. if i edit something more than twice it inevitably dissolves into a monty python sketch.

#yuan shao n shu tell me about how u came from the wealthiest most prestigious northern family in Han and lost it all in half a decade bc #u and ur failsons got into the worlds dumbest succession battle instead of presenting a unified front to ur enemies #dong zhuo: i fear no man #narrator: HERE COMES DADDY SUN WITH THE STEEL CHAIRRRRRRR #cao cao: i will avenge my father #cool motive! still a crime against humanity tho! #san guo #liu bei: look dead women in wells passing out imperial seals is no basis for a functioning government. my right to rule comes from my royal #bloodline and mandate from heaven. do not look into that btw #yes my alleged royal ancestor had like 100 sons. so what. if anything the statistics are actually in my favour!