#namely 'roy has a lot of feelings about what jamie's told them'

[thetarttfuldickhead]

A Jamie-centric pre-OT3 Christmas story told in 25 short chapters.

Masterpost / AO3

19.

Keeley grabbed a third glass of cava from the tray of a passing waiter, and took a slow sip while she surveyed the room. It was brilliant, this; she was glad she’d come. When Celia, her contact at Bantr, suggested she attend the event to “meet a few people, do some networking” Keeley had felt as nervous as she did excited, with some small, insecure part of her fearing that the other guests would dismiss her as a fraud; an upstart; an ex-model wannabe PR guru.

But everyone she’d met had been perfectly nice and respectful and interested, and had treated her just like a real PR consultant.

Which was only fair. She was a real PR consultant. She’d proved that, too, by setting up several meetings with people who might be interested in sponsoring Richmond, or using the players in their campaigns. All in all, a damned good night’s work, if she did say so herself. (Rebecca had also said it, rather more eloquently and with a staggering number of exclamations points, whenever Keeley rushed off to the loo to text her the good news.)

It might have been a perfect night, Keeley thought, if it hadn’t been for her nagging concern over Jamie (and over Roy, who’d been doing better since he started the pundit gig, but who still struggled to adjust to life outside of the pitch and had taken the whole Secret not-Santa Jamie affair surprisingly hard).

She’d convinced Roy to let her be the one to reach out to Jaime after yesterday’s ill-fated confrontation, but so far Jamie hadn’t returned either her calls or her texts. Well, he hadn’t half an hour ago, at any rate—

Keeley picked up her phone to check, but there was nothing from Jamie. From Roy, however, she had several messages. She opened the conversation, and felt her eyes widen as she read:

Something’s come up and I’m heading back to my place.

Can you come?

I’m bringing Jamie.

Keeley blinked at the screen, and then blinked at it again. The message still said the same thing, compelling her to type out a not entirely unserious reply in a vain attempt to ease her sudden sense of foreboding.

in a body bag?

Roy’s response was immediate.

We’re not fighting.

But he’s a mess and I need your help with him.

Sorry, I know you’ve got that mingle thing.

But can you come?

“Fucking hell,” Keeley muttered, but she was already draining her glass and walking toward the exit. What the fuck was Roy doing with Jamie after they’d agreed it was better if Keeley were the one to talk to him? And why was Jamie a mess if him and Roy weren’t fighting?

And, most importantly of all, how long would the “not fighting” bit last?

She had better get there fast.

---

As it turned out, she must have been closer to Roy’s house than Roy was, or else her Lyft driver was better at navigating London traffic, because Keeley arrived at Tregunter Road before Roy did. She’d no more than let herself in, though, before the door opened again behind her and Jamie, immediately followed by Roy, stepped inside.

Keeley gave a little gasp at the sight of Jamie. There was a small bruise and cut on his forehead, and his eyes were suspiciously red and puffy. Keeley looked to Roy, who hastily shook his head. “Wasn’t me, babe. His arsehole dad stopped by.”

“I fell,” Jamie muttered. He sounded sullen, but the way he was fidgeting with his sleeves suggested nerves or embarrassment rather than resentment.

“He fell because his arsehole dad shoved him,” Roy elaborated.

“Oh.” Jamie hadn’t told her all that much about his dad when they were together, but from what little she’d gained, arsehole sounded about right. She hadn’t known it came with shoving, though. Or worse. “Hey, babe,” she said, walking up to Jamie and reaching out to gently brush a few strands of loose hair out of his eyes, coaxing him to look at her. “You doing all right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m okay. Just… I mean, things with me dad, they’re a bit shit, but I’m fine, you know. It’s just scratches, this, it’s nothing.” He gestured toward his forehead. There were plasters on his hand, she noticed, and was surprised by how angry the sight of them made her feel. Angry, and heartbroken for the deprecating, resigned way by which he brandished them.

Jamie must have seen some of it on her face, because his weak attempt at a smile faded entirely, and he drew back a little, averting his eyes. Keeley’s heart twinged in sympathy.

“Oh, Jamie,” she said, and then, without really thinking about it, she drew him into a tight hug. After a moment of hesitation, he went willingly, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her neck. He was warm against her, solid in the same way Roy was solid, but unlike Roy he gave himself completely over to the hug, melting into her touch as she ran her hand over his back.

“We’ve got you, babe,” Keeley murmured into his hair. It smelled just the way she remembered it, clean and sweet with spicy notes of fennel leaf and eucalyptus from his Aesop shampoo.

It stirred something within her, that smell, and the feeling of his familiar body pressed against her. She smiled, a little ruefully. Pavlovian.

“I’ll put the kettle on,” Roy said behind them. “You two get comfortable on the couch.”

So Roy wanted a moment to himself but wanted her to stay with Jamie, then. Fair enough. Keeley wouldn’t have minded the chance to talk to Roy in private, get some more details on what the hell was going on, but she could see why he’d think keeping an eye on the younger man might be a good idea; though subdued, there was a skittishness to Jamie that rather gave the impression he might bolt if left to his own devices.

“Yeah, that sounds good, doesn’t it, Jamie?” she said, releasing him from the hug but putting a hand on his arm to steer him toward the sitting room. “Come on, it’s right through here. And I swear, even though it looks like it’s made for people who hate to feel good, Roy’s couch is actually really comfortable.”

Granted, she hadn’t spent too much time on it, as they tended to stay over at hers rather than Roy’s, but there’d been enough evenings curled up in front of a show while Roy made her dinner in what he termed “a properly stocked kitchen” for her to have brought a few pillows (in shades of grey and dark purple, in deference to the black leather) and a huge, soft, pink blanket (in deference to Keeley’s own happiness). (Roy had narrowed his eyes at the blanket, but hadn’t made any protests.)

Keeley sat down, patting the cushion right next to her. Jamie obediently took his assigned seat, and she didn’t hesitate to tug him closer, until he was leaning on her with his head resting on her shoulder. As she began to run her fingers through his hair, noticing how much longer the strands were than the last time she did this, he gave a shuddering little sigh.  

Jamie had always loved to be held.

They sat like that for a while, talking quietly about a bit of this and that, Armani’s new line and Keeley’s job, while the tension slowly but surely left Jamie and he grew more and more relaxed against her—until the sound of steps in the hallway announced Roy’s imminent arrival.

Jamie made to sit up, seemingly concerned about the other man walking in on him half-draped over his girlfriend, but Keeley tightened her grip to hold him in place. Roy had asked her here to help with Jamie; he could hardly object to her doing just that.

As it were, Roy didn’t bat a lid. “Didn’t know if you took milk,” was all he said as he put the tea tray down on the coffee table.

“Uh, yeah, usually, yeah, but it’s fine without.”

Roy didn’t respond, but added a splash of milk from a small jug to one of the cups and handed it to Jamie, and then gave Keeley another before joining them on the couch.

Jamie lifted his mug to his lips, only to immediately lower it again after the first tentative sip. “There’s sugar in this,” he said accusingly, looking at Roy like he suspected the man of trying to poison him.

Roy looked… slightly embarrassed, Keeley noted with some interest and some amusement. “It’s supposed to be soothing, you prick,” he growled, but without any real heat. “My grandad used to make it like that when I was upset. Your next game isn’t until Saturday anyway, one cup of sweet tea won’t do much damage.”

“Oh. All right.” Jamie tried the tea again. “It’s good,” he allowed. “Thanks. And,” he added hesitantly after a moment, “thanks for, you know, doing this. Letting me be here. I never… I mean, you didn’t have to do that, and I know you were upset about the gifts and all that.”

Keeley looked up, meeting Roy’s eyes over Jamie’s head. He looked uncertain, which was a rare but not altogether unpleasant look on his handsome face. He didn’t say anything but gave her a little nod, go on.

“We weren’t upset, Jamie,” Keeley began, but paused as Jamie snorted and Roy rolled his eyes. “Okay, so Roy was a little upset,” she amended. “But mostly because we were confused, yeah? You never got along with Roy and suddenly you’re doing all these really nice things for him and not telling anyone about it and that’s sweet, you know, but it’s also really fucking weird.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it was a bit mad I guess, yeah.”

He sounded more sheepish about it than upset, and Keeley smiled. “Little bit, yeah,” she agreed. Then she sobered. ”And I’m sorry things got weird the other day. I just thought it’d be good for us to talk things through, you know? But, I shouldn’t have tricked you into coming over to my place like that, making you think we’d be working on your brand. We could still do that later, if you want.”

At that, he twisted his head to look at her, a small, hopeful smile on his face. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, sure. It’ll be fun.” It would too. Her skills had developed considerably since the last time she’d helped him with his PR, and there was no denying that she felt a tiny, professional thrill at the thought of finding out just what she might accomplish with Jamie Tartt now that she was a bit more experienced. And God knew his brand could do with some polishing, after the Lust Conquers All debacle.

For the first time that night, Jamie’s grin was undiminshed and genuine. “Mint.”  

“Great! We’ll set something up for after New Year’s, then. A proper meeting this time, I promise. Before that, though… think you can explain it to us, babe? About the gifts?”

He looked away from her. For a long time he didn’t answer, just played with his rings while considering, and sneaking the occasional glance at Roy.

Thankfully, Roy kept quiet.

“Yeah,” Jamie said eventually. “Yeah, all right.”

#every time i sit down to write a new chapter i'm like #'oh but this will be a properly short one' #AND YET THEY NEVER ARE #i'd not be unhappy about this if it weren't for the fact that i am now litterally running out of time #chances are that tomorrow's chapter till just be the synopsis i wrote for it #namely 'roy has a lot of feelings about what jamie's told them' #keeley jones #jamie & keeley #jamie's christmas carol #my stuff #fic

[its-time-to-write]

I’ve always had this idea that reader is like, one of the fittest people that work at AFC Richmond, like she can hold herself in a fight. Maybe she does boxing and the team shows up to support as a surprise and they’re all like DAMN. And a certain Manchester man goes googoo over her and ALSJDISPDODJKLL I feel like in my mind it’s an idea with lots of potential behind for any character matchup and scenarios but yeah that’s it (ps I love your writing it brings me so much joy!!)

got it! thanks @coloursofyen for a) the ideas and b) keeping me on track with these last few fics.

I rage-wrote this fic bc I accidentally saw the Man City score before I had a chance to watch it. I’m very upset rn😂 Also, I know nothing about boxing.

move fast and keep quiet

Ted’s been on this thing recently, where one day of training out of every five is a “physical and mental enrichment day,” which is a fancy way of saying the team does yoga or some shit together. Recently he’s been bringing in this boxing coach for “the team’s aggressive tendencies,” in wake of the whole West Ham debacle, and no one’s quite sure if that was really the best response to the situation. Teaching AFC Richmond how to fight better? Maybe not the best idea. 

You’ve been coming once a week for a month now, teaching them how to spar on the pitch. Isaac, Jamie, and Bumbercatch are definitely the most enthusiastic about it, with the way Isaac studies each punch, Bumbercatch practices the footwork, and Jamie asks a million fucking questions every single time. 

According to Sam, he’s been an absolute menace, practicing his moves through the halls of Nelson Road.

“What is your problem?” Jan asks one day. “Can you not just walk to the gym like a regular person?”

Jamie shrugs. “Where’s the fun in that?”

It isn’t long before word goes around the dogtrack that Jamie has a crush on the boxing instructor.

“You like her,” Dani singsongs. Jamie doesn’t deny it. 

“She’s mad fit. Even her smile,” Jamie defends.

He’s not exactly wrong. The team starts an unofficial countdown until their next training session, and are disappointed to walk into the regular setup when the day rolls around. There’s a whiteboard with a new play from Roy and Beard, and the whole team barely tries to hide their disappointment.

“Oi, where’s Jamie’s girlfriend?” Isaac asks the moment Ted walks in.

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Jamie interjects.

Ted points to Jamie. “We’ll unpack that later. For now, I need you fellas to get ready to run this new play Coach Beard and Roy have cooked up. I want everyone ready to show a lotta teamwork.”

Richard raises his hand. “Coach, where is Jamie’s girlfriend?”

Jamie puts his head in his hands and says, “She ain’t my girlfriend, lad,” but it doesn’t matter. The name is going to stick.

Ted says, “She’s busy training for a match tomorrow, but she’ll be back next week. She told me to tell you all that she hopes you can come watch.”

Sam loudly whispers, “You mean she hopes Jamie will come watch,” and the rest of the team says oooh.

“Fuck off,” Jamie replies, but he’s blushing.

—

They end up commandeering the team bus. 

The fight is… well, let’s just say it’s convinced Jamie that he needs to make the “girlfriend” jokes a reality. He will never admit how smitten you make him, what with the way you’re dodging and weaving, wiping sweat from your brow as your braids fly. But when it’s all over and you’re announced the winner, he’s almost positive you can hear him cheering over the rest of the crown because he’s just so damn happy.

The team waits around while the rest of the arena clears out, but Jamie can’t wait. He slips away from the group and asks a security guard where he can find you. The guard looks at him and states, “You’re Jamie Tartt.”

“Yeah,” Jamie responds, unsure of what else to say because it wasn’t exactly a question.

“She said you could come back. Follow me,” grunts the guard. Jamie turns around to make eye contact with Sam before hurrying after the security guard.

“In here.” The guard points to a door then leaves Jamie alone, staring at your name printed on a metal plaque. Shit, how good must you be to have your name here?

He knocks once and hears you call, “Come in,” so he pushes the door open. You’re sitting on the floor downing a bottle of water, still sweaty. There’s a bit of blood dried to your forehead and Jamie is a little worried that he finds it sexy.

You smile at him and pat the floor next to you.

“I’d get up, but I’m really fucking tired,” you say. “She got me good.”

Jamie slides onto the floor next to you. “You were fuckin’ amazing,” he says. “Made me rethink my whole career.”

You wheeze out a laugh. “With the way you run your mouth? You’d get brained in a week. I make sure none of my partners hate me. Me ’n the girl you saw tonight are going out to lunch tomorrow.”

Oh. That’s new information for Jamie. He’s trying to figure out if you mean lunch as a friend thing, or if you’re going on a date. Shit. Maybe this was a bad idea.

You nudge him with your shoulder. “Oi, what’s your deal? Upset you’re stuck as a sad little footballer when you could be getting punched out on the daily like me?”

Jamie shakes his head. “Nah. Just thinking how cool it were tonight.”

You grin and take another swig of water. “Hey, you wanna take me out on a date?”

Jamie chokes on air. After a moment he manages to cough, “Sorry, what?” and you shrug.

“Told myself if you came back here after the match I’d ask you out. I let security know you could come back if you wanted, and I figured you might be kinda fucking interested if you tried to get back here without me inviting you.”

“Uh huh,” Jamie says, still trying to get his breath back.

You look at him sideways. “Is that a yes? It’s all good if not.”

“No, yes!” Jamie says. “It’s yes. Where do you want to go? When’re you available? We could do something tonight if you want.”

You make a face. “I’m absolutely knackered. I was planning on going home to take a nice long shower and then passing out.”

Jamie nods. Right. Sounds logical.

“You could join me,” you suggest, and Jamie chokes for the second time.

“Jesus, Tartt, you’re excitable,” you tease. “It’s just a shower and some sleep. Although I might be convinced that I didn’t get enough cardio in tonight. Depends on if you’re willing to drive me home so I can nap.”

“Done,” Jamie says immediately. “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” 

You grin as he pulls you up off the floor. “Oh,” you say, studying his perfect lips, “one more thing before we go…”

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

[lunar-years]

T! From your latest ask game post.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? **

i'm very certain i've rambled on about most (all?) of these before, lol. But here is my truth:

General character stuff -

Jewish Roy Kent!! The O'Sullivan-Kent's are mixed faith

Roy and his sister were perhaps close when they were very small but not so much once Roy moved to Sunderland. They didn't reconnect until around the time she got pregnant with Phoebe, then became incredibly incredibly close during her contentious divorce, when Roy was the first and best person to show up for her.

Keeley's parents are divorced. also she definitely has major mommy issues and i think that's under-explored!

Jamie's dad came back into his life when he was pre-teen (i don't have an exact age but to me it was somewhere between like. the ages of nine to twelve). Old enough to already be putting himself on the football map, locally (enough for James to have taken notice, anyway) but young enough for James to have made the very deep impression on him and to hold the type of influence over him we see reflected on the show.

Simon came into the picture several years later when Jamie was an older teenager (16-17) and he and Georgie didn't get married until Jamie was playing (semi-)professionally

i feel sooooo strongly that he hasn't told a soul about that trip to Amsterdam until he tells Roy in s3. i know some people think he would have told his mum and i respect that but also. i couldn't disagree more, lol.

speaking of mummy, I also think the closeness we see them have in s3 is somewhat of a recent development. They were definitely that close when Jamie was young, but as is typical with having an abusive parent, I don't see how his relationship with his dad wouldn't have tainted his bond with his mum. To me there is a lot of things that were left unsaid between them, on both sides, for a long time, and I think the s1 bonfire scene really reflects that strain. not to say they were totally estranged, but I do think there were a few very rough years in there where jamie barely talked to her. and they reconnected around the time of the break between s1 & s2 when Jamie was back with Man City. now they're extremely extremely close.

jamie works with kids once he retires from football!! i'm not too particular as to what capacity but perhaps my favorite is that he coaches youth football at the Academy level. Like, maybe the U15s or U16s. young teenagers whose lives he can make a real difference in. just...jamie getting to be the mentor and influence for them in the way he wishes he had at that age. ahhhh.

ot3 stuff:

ot3 all have strained (at best) relationships with their parents, but in completely different ways. they all adore Georgie and Simon though and love making time to visit Manchester

they do NOT have kids ❌ Miss Keeley Jones is not EVER willingly getting pregnant i can tell you that much for damn sure

i'm ride or die ot3 and this is kind of irrelevant in a poly scenario but re: marriage none of them would change their last names i firmly believe this

look. it's not that jamie and keeley CAN'T cook. but if roy is willing to make them the majority of their meals. and do it better than either of them ever could. who are they to stop him?? (lowkey keeley's cooking IS tragic though, lol)

simon teaches roy how to bake. then they force Georgie, Jamie and Keeley to "judge" their creations as if they were competing on bakeoff. this is like. an ongoing event. there are multiple occasions, maybe once a year or something, and roy and simon spend weeks planning what they're going to do for it every time.

i think they keep their relationship a secret until Jamie retires. of course there is a thriving in-verse rpf community, lmao.

perhaps controversially i don't think they'd tell the whole team. I love it in blissful and happy and fluffy fics though :) And obviously, i think roy and jamie love the team very much, but i still think they'd only explicitly tell like, rebecca, the coaches, and then Jamie would tell his closest few friends on the team. everyone else kind of figures it out over time, though, they aren't as subtle as they think they are, but it's not really talked about? it's more like an open secret.

they have a closed poly relationship because at the end of the day they are all possessive and none of them are open to sharing with anyone but each other, lol. also like. even keeping up with two partners can be a logistical nightmare. who would have the time for more? keeley runs the calendars.

sex: Roy and Keeley switch. Jamie is mostly a sub but willing to try basically everything and anything once. also what they get up to is generally very kinky and very sex positive and most importantly they have LOTS of fun <333 the details of that would take up another 12 paragraphs but you know. i think the fandom is mostly in agreement with this lmao.

** maybe not so much ~die defending~ because if people have different opinions i definitely do not care, y'all do you. but these are the ones that are so tried and true in MY brain that if i read a different opinion or a fic featuring a contradicting viewpoint... It doesn't matter how much i enjoy it or even love it... I am still filing that away as an AU in my brain even though it's like, totally NOT 😂

#im sorry this is so longgg #i think about them so much #ted lasso #royjamiekeeley #roy kent #jamie tartt #keeley jones #asks #ask games #thanks for asking

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Roy/Jamie prompt: Due to some freak accident Jamie takes something super heavy right to the chest, like a weight or a medicine ball. The breath his completely knocked out of him, he's literally knocked off his feet and as he lays there gasping in agony his eyes find Roy and with whatever strength he's got he reaches out to him. A horrified Roy rushes to his side, pleading with Jamie to hang on as the younger man passes out. There's a mad rush to the hospital where Jamie pulls through and isn't actually as hurt as everyone thought. It just scared the crap out of them all, especially Roy who goes uber protective mode as he takes over Jamie's care. It's just the jolt these two need to finally realize what they mean to each other.

Oh he gets the wind knocked out of him. Had that happen to a friend when I was like 9. He fell off a high swing and straight onto his chest. We all thought he needed a hospital was absolutely terrifying.

-

Roy is frozen for a second before he leaps forward. Jamie is gasping and shaking. He’s clawing at his chest. Roy slams into the ground next to him.

“Jamie? Can you breathe?”

He gets a broken gasp and a shudder in response. “Okay hospital call a squad.” Jamie’s eyes fill with tears. He reaches a hand out towards Roy. Roy takes the hand without thinking. He links their fingers together. “Come on Jamie. You’ll be okay stay awake.” Jamie shakes his head. He starts crying for real and scratching at his chest.

Roy only prays the squad gets here faster

——

Roy has refused to leave Jamie’s side ever since the hospital said he could be discharged. Roy almost fought the doctor who said he could leave. Jamie’s chest was black and blue. He shook when he took his hoodie off. Roy needless to say forced him into a wheelchair to take him to his car.

“Old man shouldn’t the rolls be reversed?” Roy snorts. He can’t help it. He’s just happy to hear Jamie talking and joking again. “We’re going to my house. Be good not a word about the dog.”

Jamie perks up at the mention of a dog. “Dog! Roy you’ve got a dog?? How long? What’s its name? What kind! Why haven’t I known this?” Roy snorts and buckles Jamie’s seatbelt.

“Two months. Frankie. Chihuahua. Cause I hadn’t told you yet. Phoebe wanted a dog. Ruth said if I got one it’d basically be like hers.” Jamie blinks at all the information. “So you got a dog so your niece would be happy? God I love you.”

Roy nearly chokes on the gun he’s chewing. “You’re drugged.” Jamie shakes his head and rests it on the window. “Always loved you. This made me realize I should say it.”

Roy jerks the car into the closest parking lot. He shoves it in park and stares at Jamie. Who understandably looks a little startled. “You fucking muppet. I was going to say that later.” Jamie’s mouth opens and closes. “No the fuck you were not.” Roy grabs his hand and holds on tight. “I love you. I want to date you.”

Jamie’s mouth drops open. He can’t believe it. “You love me like I love you?” Roy smiles. He brings Jamie’s hand up to kiss it. “Hate that it took this to make me say it but yes. I do.” Jamie let’s out a whoop that makes Roy’s head hurt a little.

“Roy Kent loves me. He fucking loves me!” Roy laughs and shifts to drive again when he’s attacked. “Kiss! Now! Now now now now now now.” Roy cuts him off by obeying. Kissing Jamie is nice feels right.

Roy pulls away with a tap to Jamie’s chest. “No strenuous activity for at least a week. Behave.” Jamie whines but Roy ignores him. “I’ll let you get Frankie outfits with my card if you’re good.” Jamie grabs the hand not on the wheel. “Oh I love you.” Roy snorts.

“I love you too.”

#ted lasso #jamie tartt #roy kent #jamie tartt x roy kent #jamie x roy #royjamie #roy kent x jamie tartt #roy x jamie #mac writes ted lasso #Frankie the oc dog that roy got cause he’s a SUCKER for Phoe

[eddysocs]

Ted Lasso OC Masterlist

Name: Brennan Marks

Face Claim: KJ Apa

Love Interest: Jamie Tartt

Fic Title: Sweet & Sour

Plot Summary: Brennan Marks grew up a theater nerd. He’d always had a passion for the stage, but he also had incredible skill on the pitch, and that’s where the doors opened for him. He hasn’t given up hope of a career on stage or screen yet though, and Jamie Tartt starts to resent Brennan for stealing his spotlight. Brennan tries not to let Jamie's resentment get to him, but it’s sort of hard when he’s carrying a torch for the cocky, self proclaimed star of AFC Richmond. But are Jamie's feelings merely jealousy and hatred, or are they masking something else?

Name: Matilda Northbrook

Face Claim: Mandy Moore

Love Interest: Ted Lasso

Fic Title: Lasso Around My Heart

Plot Summary: Born in Dorset, Matilda Northbrook spent her early years in England, before her parents moved her to the American midwest for her schooling. Since then, she’s travelled the world as a sports journalist, landing back in the UK at the announcement of American Football coach Ted Lasso heading up AFC Richmond for the season. Intrigued by this unique choice, Tildy wants to cover the story for better or worse, and turn it into a documentary.

Name: Nessa Tolliver

Face Claim: Samantha Logan

Love Interest: Rebecca Welton

Fic Title: Lightning Strikes

Plot Summary: Set to inherit Bones & Honey, her father's exclusive members only club, Nessa has naturally spent a lot of time there. It’s truly not her favorite place, and she’s met more than her fair share of wankers and scumbags. Rupert Mannion, a longtime member of her father's club, is the exact type of person that Nessa loathes. But her vision for the future of Bones & Honey is different and it starts with Rebecca Welton and AFC Richmond. So Nessa joins forces with Rebecca to take down Rupert and reinvent their respective businesses, and themselves.

Name: Noah Barclay

Face Claim: Rome Flynn

Love Interest: Trent Crimm

Fic Title: Mouthpiece

Plot Summary: Noah has always been a lover of the arts, so how he ended up in football is a mystery to most anyone who knows him. But he loves the game and he’s pretty damn good at it. Taking questions from the press is really where he shines though. His charisma and eloquence in his replies have gotten AFC Richmond out of a few awkward predicaments. And there’s no one he loves talking to more than Trent Crimm from The Independent. His charming smile instantly falls the day he doesn’t see Trent's face in the crowd of reporters, but as he’ll soon find out, it’s because Trent has joined the team, so to speak, and is planning to write a book about them.

Name: Shay Tompkins

Face Claim: Gabrielle Union

Love Interest: Roy Kent

Fic Title: Here, There, Everywhere

Plot Summary: Soccer doesn’t have cheerleaders. That’s what all of Shay's friends told her when she decided she wanted to pack up and move to England after seeing a news article about Ted Lasso and the work he was doing with AFC Richmond. Yet Shay didn’t let that stop her. She shows up to the football club bright eyed and full of hope, and while she may not start a cheerleading craze across the UK, she’s a force of positivity for the team and even scores a position as their new physiotherapist. And Shay can’t help but be drawn to the eternally grumpy and pessimistic Roy Kent, who she vows to turn into a believer.

#ted lasso ocs #oc: nessa tolliver #oc: shay tompkins

[rockinhamburger]

Nate the Great

So, I want to talk about Nate, and it turns out I have a lot of thoughts - this got long, so most of it’s under a cut.

When we meet Nate in the pilot episode, we see that he has crippling self-esteem issues. He is shocked that Ted asks for his name; he needs a push to even say it, and he’s later surprised Ted even remembers it. He also lights up at any attention and validation (the sports drink, his knowledge about the players, his strategy suggestion, etc.).

We can see why: the players either don’t acknowledge him or outright belittle and mock him, lording their physical strength and status over him. Jamie says Nate’s “a weak little baby and he can’t do anything about it.” That’s how he’s seen in the locker room, and that only really changes when Roy steps in and tells them to stop. Nate’s actually told this, that Colin and Isaac have stopped because Roy made them stop, physically; he even head-butted Colin. It’s kind of fair if the takeaway for Nate, here, is that respect is won by higher status people giving it to you, that you need to be a big dog to command respect, physically.

In season 2, we discover that Nate craves validation and attention from his father, that it seems to be in short supply. His father doesn’t even acknowledge Nate’s presence in 2x07; Nate has to say hi to get acknowledgement that he’s in the room, and the response is... “Nathan.” That’s it. Lloyd doesn’t mention the big clear success Nate has had, and Nate obviously feels he has to bring it up. Then they have the following exchange:

Nate: They'll let anyone in the newspapers nowadays, won't they?

Lloyd: They say humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking about yourself less.

It honestly breaks my heart. Nate starts off self-deprecating! To me, that says so much about their relationship, and it’s two freaking sentences. This is, we can assume, what Nate has learned to do, to underplay his excitement and achievement, and even then his father still criticizes him. I’ve seen many people argue that Lloyd isn’t really giving bad advice here, but that neglects the fact that this is the only thing Lloyd says. It’s not like he says, “Nice work,” and then Nate demonstrates some concerning behaviour that leads Lloyd to drop a line about humility. Nate is excited about the success he’s had in his new position, and the acknowledgement he’s getting (in the paper his father is paying more attention to than his son), and his father cuts him down immediately.

We can extrapolate from that interaction that this is not unique; Nate appears to be unsurprised by his father’s response. This is their relationship. So, is it any wonder that Nate craves validation and approval once Ted gives it to him? When we lack something and then we get it, we can get really possessive of it and insecure about losing it.

This isn’t a perfect visual, but bare with me anyway. For someone starting at 0 confidence, these confidence boosters from Ted might have worked in the long term. But I’d argue Nate’s working from a negative number, so when Ted gives him attention and support, it doesn’t really fill the void. I don’t think the validation and support from Ted decrease because there aren’t really clear examples of that, BUT the validation and support don’t increase, either, and I can imagine that bothers Nate. He’s got more power and influence, but ostensibly Ted’s treating him the same as before.

Nate is also highly deferential to authority to the point of intimidation and fear; it makes sense to me that he might have gotten crossed wires about how you’re supposed to be a leader. He literally runs away when faced with Rebecca in 1x01, although he shows an internal debate about that because he starts to come back up the stairs and changes his mind again. Nate becomes very pleasant with Ted when he realizes Ted’s the new manager, and he laughs at Ted’s jokes, presumably because Ted’s his boss and he feels like he should. Later, Ted articulates that: “You still laughing at stuff you don’t think’s funny?” Which is a way of saying that Nate doesn’t have to do that.

I would argue that even in the early episodes of season 1, Nate’s sense of identity is pretty fractured. He feels invisible, and then Ted shows up and sees him. Throughout that season, he is trying to emulate Ted. In 1x04, Ted buys Nate a suit that fits properly to replace the suit Nate borrowed from his dad. Ted then encourages a more subtle confidence (”Don’t strut; let the suit do the work”). At the table, Nate makes the joke Ted told him earlier, which subtly shows he doesn’t have much confidence in his ability to come up with his own joke. When the borrowed joke doesn’t land because he leaves out the part that makes it funny, the look on Nate’s face when he realizes he messed up the punchline? He looks annoyed and embarrassed with himself.

I think about the mirror and what that might represent about Nate’s distorted/fractured image of himself. Nate has such a fractured sense of who he is and such hatred for himself that he spits on his own reflection. I suspect he doesn’t truly believe he belongs in the position he’s been given, even though he says he does. I think he is deeply insecure about having been made coach, which is why he is so adamant that he earned it, that it didn’t fall into his lap. It’s true that he earned it, that he showed his mettle, and that’s why Ted promoted him, but Nate hates himself so much that his insecurity is coming out as bravado. This fractured sense of self and low self-esteem come out in upsetting ways when he’s given power. He uses it to do exactly what was rather recently done to him: harshly criticize, throw the shirt in Will’s face, belittle, etc.  

He brings so much to the table strategically, which is something he does seem to know, but even that he’s insecure about because he tells Ted that Richmond wouldn’t have won a single match without him. I think, deep down, he’s scared that his contribution doesn’t matter, scared that they would have done just fine without him. I think about the False 9; he’s initially upset at the idea that Ted will take the credit for the strategy when they win, and then when he suggests that they ‘abandon’ it at half-time and they decide to stick with Nate-the-Great’s False 9, his logic shifts to thinking Ted will blame him for the strategy when they lose. He’s not confident in his strategies either.

There is the moment where Ted laughs at the idea of Nate being a big dog, which obviously stung badly. Nate wants to be viewed as a big dog, as a tiger who can rip apart his enemies. I think Nate really hates himself for all of the things he used to be (when he was invisible) and sees that version of himself as weak, something to spit on. He wants to be like Roy, physically strong and tough; in Nate’s view, no one fucks with Roy, and he commands respect without having to demand it. It’s why he ends up buying a suit that looks a lot like the one Roy was wearing when he joined the Richmond team in 2x05.

In the end, I think Nate has learned through experience that love needs to be earned, and so far he’s learned that no matter what he does, his father doesn’t seem to care. Ted unknowingly takes that role on when he gives Nate the love and approval Nate’s been craving, and when he doesn’t increase the validation and support in season 2, Nate feels that Ted has abandoned him. He believes Ted no longer cares because he sees his worthiness of love and support as something he needs to earn. But Ted does love Nate, without any strings and without Nate having to be someone he’s not, but Nate doesn’t see that.

I’m deeply sad for Nate. I want to warn him that he won’t get the love, validation and attention from Rupert that he lacks from his father, just as he did not get it from Ted. The difference is, Nate’s attached himself to Rupert, who is narcisstic and self-serving, the last person someone with Nate’s fractured sense of self and low self-esteem needs to spend time around. Talk about someone who will take the credit and give all the blame, who will throw Nate under the (parked) bus at the first sign of trouble.

Nate needs to begin to do the work to repair his sense of self, to know what his skills and abilities are and what he needs to work on so he can become the best version of himself. He needs to talk to Dr. Sharon, and I hope he does it before he’s too mired in self-loathing to ask for help.

I know Nate bumps up against people’s knee-jerk reactions (that includes my own btw), and I know that forgiveness and empathy are very challenging to extend, especially in circumstances where we might feel those things should not be extended. I did my best here to make distinctions where possible, but I hope it’s clear that by discussing Nate as a character and his storyline, I am not condoning all of his actions or suggesting that we should all blindly forgive and excuse inappropriate behaviour.

My final note here is that I think many people are rejecting the idea of redemption and forgiveness for Nate because we can easily identify with the person who has been wronged (Will, Colin, Keeley, Ted, etc.). It’s harder to identify with and acknowledge the times in our lives when we’ve been like Nate, to identify as the person who has done wrong. We don’t live in this world without getting hurt and without hurting others. That can happen accidentally, but we can also end up lashing out from our own pain and insecurity. It’s what Rebecca did in season 1; it’s what Jamie is unlearning throughout his story.

Characters are fictional, which makes them perfect for discussing all manner of issues; they are not complete stand-ins for the people in our lives, though they can feel like it at times, which is precisely what makes it so difficult sometimes to go there. But I mention the fictional aspect because it can be helpful to separate the character somewhat from situations that might hit close to home due to our own experience(s).

What I think we should do here, for season 3, is to imagine the parts of ourselves that are more like Nate than we might realize. I know I think back on things I said or did when I had less of a sense of who I was and why I was making the choices I was making. I’ve done wrong, and I’ve been wronged. It takes love and hard work to heal from hurt and to make substantial, sustainable change, and I think Nate’s journey is going to be one of remorse and heartbreak, but also self-discovery. That’s really painful and difficult, ain’t it?

#ted lasso #nate shelley #ted lasso meta

[pluviophile-bookworm]

HSMTMTS 2x12: Don't say we'll have to let it go...

After a very stressful morning and several moments in which I was close to a full sanity slip completely unrelated to this, it is high time (heck, it's the highest of times, if you know what I mean) I got to the new HSMTMTS, the last one for a while.

I'm honestly scared, though. This morning I thought nothing could make me more nervous today than the whole ordeal I had to go through, but now that I'm here, I'm super scared and anxious. I don't even want to say it, but... what if this is... you know what I'm thinking. We're all thinking it. I just hope we're wrong in a good way.

I feel like I might die of anxiety, so I guess I'll just dive in. Whatever will be, will be.

Supportive Nini is best Nini. Honestly, I haven't liked her all season as much as I do now. The background, behind-the-scenes role seems to fit her a lot better than the lead. I hope to see more of her like this when (fingers crossed!!!) the show comes back.

Ashlyn, on the other hand, is a perfect lead. She was born for this, and it shows. It shows so much that everybody has finally noticed it. They took their time, didn't they?

Ugh, I hate, hate, hate this kind of moment that happens every time when someone has prepared a surprise for someone else — and we saw that twice this season — once with Carlos at his Quinceañero, and now with Ashlyn. I mean the moment before they find out about the surprise and they feel like they've been forgotten and it's all so sad... at least I know whatever my boy Reddy has planned for his girl will make up for that sort of feeling. I can't wait!

Ahhhhh @redlyncentral you called it! You called it big time! I can't say I wasn't expecting it to be something like this, though, because I trust your sixth sense more than I trust mine — and I trust mine a lot. Also, if anyone deserves to have their name in lights, it's Ashlyn. And remember when she told Big Red that, to make things light up, he just had to walk into a room? Or when he told her that the only thing he'd throw at her was a brighter spotlight? You know, I think that, just like airports are Portwell's thing, lights are Redlyn's thing. And that is so beautiful... I am legitimately crying.

Yikes... see, it's one thing when Nini calls Ricky 'Richard'. But it's another thing entirely when Kourtney calls Howie 'Howard'. Gosh, I hope they clear things up. If Howie has something to say (as in, some secret to come clean about, if you catch my drift), he'd better do it now. I was never too invested in Kowie, but it still hurts to see tension between them.

Ok, but... these two are too dorky for words! I mean, you're telling me Howie was acting that way just because of how nervous Kourtney's talent made him? Oh well, I feel like I can understand that, actually. She's a powerhouse. But also, everyone around here needs to learn a lesson or two from Redlyn. About communication, reciprocity, expression of feelings... it's no accident that they're the parents of the drama club. But this is not about them. Oh, who am I kidding? With me, everything is about them. Unless it's about Seblos or Portwell. Never mind. Moving on.

I am trying very hard not to have a visible or audible reaction because my brother is in the room and I'm supposed to be working, but... EJ had his dad put in a good word for Mr Mazzara at Caltech. And that is something that makes me feel feelings I can't very easily put into words. Also, what does that mean for Mr M's future at East High?

As clear as the imprint of Jamie's words is to see on EJ's face, I feel like he's not giving up on Portwell quite yet. 'Play it by ear' sounded quite promising to me, all things considered.

Not Ricky and Nini writing the same thing in slightly different words... again! I absolutely get why people ship them, at least on the surface level I do, but I really can't see them as a couple anymore. That is not to say, however, that I'm not rooting for them on their way to figuring out how to be 'just' friends. (See, I'm not a big fan of the expression 'just friends', as if it's something less than a romantic relationship, so...) They could be the best friends ever. If, and only if they learn to communicate properly. All kinds of relationships require good communication. I feel like I'm saying that a lot, but, you know, if it's true...

I can't look at Miss Jenn the same way after last week's episode. The Menkies have turned her, quite frankly, into a monster. She's too obsessed with beating Zacky Roy to notice how she's treating her students who have always been nothing but devoted to her and the play. Well, some of them anyway... I feel like it's time for Carlos to reconsider his opinion of her... and I know it must be painful, and the least thing I'd ever wish for him is pain, but... sometimes certain painful things are necessary. I just hope everyone comes out of this alright. I think I might not, though. I've been crying for a while already.

No... why is Gina crying? My girl needs a hug... Oh, here comes Nini. This seems like it's been a long time coming.

This was beautiful... only one character played by an actress named Olivia will be redeemed today. And it's the right one, if I do say so myself.

Alright, who called it? Gina connecting Nini with her brother about her music, I mean. I know for a fact someone here called it. If you happen to be that genius and you read this, please come forward in the notes to get the credit you deserve. This is... a little too perfect to be true, but I feel like it's the best way to connect and wrap up several storylines with one blow. And I love when that happens. Gosh, why does this feel like a series finale? Please tell me I'm wrong. I am not ready. I will never be ready. Ok, maybe one day I will be, but not anytime soon. Please tell me my feeling is deceiving me this time.

Oh, good, it's being addressed. The 'jump off of something high' comment, I mean. It would have been wrong not to address it. I kind of really liked the way they did it, too. Also, 'getting there' really is the most accurate answer to the question whether Ricky is happy. I feel like he's got a long way to go before he does get there, but he really is closer to that destination than he's been in a while. This boy deserves all the happiness. He's been through way too much. And I'm glad Miss Jenn is finally seeing her part in his struggles throughout the year.

Ahhh it's the song! I've been so excited for it all week, ever since that teaser leaked. But, once again: why does this feel like a finale? I want to curb my anxiety and watch this episode with a free mind, but the episode itself just isn't helping me. Ok, let's go back to the song for now. Whatever will be, will be.

No... EJ's verse... just no. Somebody tell that boy not to be so hung up on the words of somebody who doesn't even know who Gina is today. I've had 'the majestic S.S. Portwell' for a couple of weeks and I'm not ready for it not setting sail after it was almost out of the... port(well). Have I ever told you I make bad puns when I'm anxious?

Carlos doesn't even remember being on stage... that's too relatable to be overlooked. See, I used to perform on stage (I've decided to quit for good now and it makes me cry only slightly), and that has always been how I've felt about it. I feel like my favourites are who they are because I relate to each one of them to an extent — some are who I think I am, some are who I used to be, and some are who I wish I could become... and so much more on top. I'm being so emotional. I'm not ready to let these kids go. Please someone tell me I won't have to, at least not quite yet.

The Wildcats' reaction to... Capital-B-witch and Fake-French-Git-who-is-apparently-French-for-real (as I've taken to calling those two because calling them by their real names would mean showing them respect which they don't deserve) was exactly the same as mine. No one invited them there. They're not supposed to be there. Someone kick them out.

'Big Red... you were... also there!' Um, excuse you, he was not just 'there'! I mean, I know we didn't get to see him on stage (we've been robbed!!!), but I'm sure he was the most amazing LeFou to ever grace a theatre stage. That being said, we have been robbed! But let's not get ahead of ourselves. I want to see what Big Red's reaction will be. I've been fantasising about this moment for weeks now.

Ok... so I said a couple of weeks ago, in my post on 2x10, that Ricky has been given a chance to prove what kind of friend he is right then and there... and, well, this wasn't exactly how I envisioned it, but it was nice. I think that's the word for it. Nice. Ricky is just too nice to do what I kept seeing in my fantasy. And Big Red is doubly too nice to do it. But I... I surprise myself sometimes with how aggressive I can get in defence of other people. Maybe it's better this way than my way.

Did that capital-B-witch just say what I thought I heard her say? Because there's no way she just said that. Also, 'sometimes people deserve a second chance'... well, yeah. And sometimes they don't, you... well, I don't use words like that, but you guys can put two and two together, right?

'I'd trade it all for this group right here tonight'... me too, Eej, me too. I'm not even going to pretend I'm not crying because, guess what, I'm bloody bawling my eyes out! I kind of stopped for a moment when you-know-who and her second-in-command came in, but now I'm crying again. I am so not ready to let these kids go.

So... they're dropping out? Just like that? Well, that was anticlimactic! But hey, I absolutely get it. That's the Wildcat spirit, after all, isn't it? They did win already. They won something that some of North High's students can never understand. And that's more important than just about anything. [side note: I've got to say I appreciate the fact that my boy Reddy is now able to joke about his opening night predicament. See, that's another thing I relate to. I go through the craziest stuff, and then I laugh and tell stories to anyone who will listen. And I think that's the best approach to that kind of stuff. I just wish I could be less dramatic about the little things, too. It seems to me it's easier to laugh about the big, serious stuff once it's over, but not about some things that most people would deem unworthy of their attention. But hey, I'm working on that. Also, this post is not supposed to be about me. Moving on.]

Bless Ashlyn and the fact that she's good at communication. Even if she's a little late. She's not too late yet. Portwell might still be saved.

No, Ricky, you so did not just call you-know-who! I will not stand for any of that. Unless it's to shut her off once and for all, in which case I say go for it and go full steam. But why do I get the feeling it's not going to be like that? Ok, never mind, let's set that one aside and focus on Portwell for a second.

Ok, that was... that was going to be so beautiful, and then they cut it off. Is Portwell about to be Redlyn 2.0? Oh well, if it really is, that isn't going to be so bad after all. But now all I can think about is... when are we getting the renewal? How am I supposed to sleep at night until we know for sure?

Not them making me cry with a BTS montage... as if I wasn't crying hard enough already. I'm not alone in the house, you guys! In fact, we're having a bunch of guests from overseas in... wait, I think they're at the door. I'm not ready for people! Not now. Pray for me, you guys! (In all seriousness, though, don’t pray for me. Pray for a season 3 announcement to come soon)

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts spoilers #ricky bowen #nini salazar-roberts #gina porter #ej caswell #ashlyn moon caswell #big red redonovich #carlos rodriguez #seb matthew-smith #kourtney greene #hsmtmts howie #hsmtmts miss jenn #hsmtmts mr mazzara

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 130 - 126

130. Triana Park - “Line” Latvia 2017

[2017 review here]

One of THE most tragic tales in this decade is that of Latvia. They completely reinvented themselves, turning themselves from an inept laughing stock into a precious indie sanctuary and aren’t getting rewarded for it. 

Fortunately, we at BorisBubbles believe in recitfying criminal underratedness, because, man, “Line” is great. A supernova of technicolor trance, subdued EDM undertones and styling reminiscent of Japanese kei, “Line” is both current and familiar, accessible and mysterious, providing a wholesome experience that makes you crave for even more of the same. My only qualm would be that I would have loved for them to be even *more* extreme/intense with their staging (Darker stage, more close ups, more colour projection), but otherwise a great entry that DESERVED to make the Grand Final. Kasia Mos was RIGHT! 🤗

________________________________________________________________

129. Il volo - “Grande amore” Italy 2015

HAAH THAT’S RIGHT, I DON’T EVEN- wait what am I saying I DO love Il Volo that much lmfao. However, I also love several other songs as much, so forgive me if let those underrated angels outrank “Grande Amore”, which doesn’t *need* any more attention. 🤗 That said, Grande Amore haters should take a hike because it plain owns. SO MUCH VOCAL POWER.  “Grande Amore” feels more like a Jalisse to me though: “Hey, Europe, see how superior our musical talent is, get rekt lol” and of course it is and we are. Braggart entries <3 

However, I am NOT someone who watches Eurovision for the music, or even the vocals, so let me just say one thing: THANK FUCKING HELL IL VOLO LOST. (if not only for their obnox fanbase). “Grande Amore” is great, mind, but this is not -my- Eurovision entry and I’m happy the true ESC traditions were preserved by having Måns and Polina as our top two. 🤗

________________________________________________________________

128. Bilal Hassani - “Roi” France 2019

Told you Bilal would be good! It’s kind of quaint how everyone convinced themselves, as soon as rehearsals started that Bilal was ~suddenly~ Good when I Had No Fear, The Power Lies In Him. 🤴

And I mean, the glow up was pretty amazing, not gonna lie. Growing from basic bop into an actually competent attempt at the gold <3 Naturally, Bilal himself is the best aspect of “Roi” for me. I have nothing but the utmost of respect how someone of his age, who had to suffer through so much abuse and dismissal still managed to keep a positive attitude, avoiding pettiness. 😭 WE ARE NOT WORTHY. 😭

However, while I think the revamp and staging were good, there was ONE big problem. You see, I think coming right before Mahmood is what really hurt Bilal, in the end. As lovely as I think the concept of “Roi” is, it pushes the idea of inclusion a bit too aggressively. Inclusion is, sadly, still a not theme everyone can (or wants to) relate to. Mahmood on the other hand provided a similar emotional pull from a more inherent source (shit parenting), which has a more universal relatability. (Not to mention that “Soldi” is also a much better song than “Roi”) As such, once “Soldi” happened, I think a lot of people simply forgot about Bilal. 

Overall, I am at peace with Bilal’s role in the canon. He proved his haters wrong, once more. 🤭 16th place is maybe a bit too low, but always tragic are the fates of those born on a battlefield. Bilal has already won LIFE at age nineteen, and that is what ultimately matters most.

________________________________________________________________

127. Valentina Monetta - “Social Network Song” San Marino 2012

“DO YOU WANNA BE MORE THAN JUST ‘A FRIEND’ 😏 DO YOU WANNA HAVE CYBER SEX AGAIN? 😉"

The first chapter of the ~Valentina Trilogy~ is perhaps the most obscure of the three, but it’s nevertheless a most curious rose-tinted delight. Who could’ve known that when San Marino selected some haggard ponytail named “Valentina Monetta” to perform a song called “Facebook Ooh Oh Oh” in Baku, that she would end up one of Modern Eurovision’s most iconic human beings? Of course once Valentina took the stage and proved herself unironically great, as both a person and a performer, we all realized that even the smallest country can cast a very tall shadow. <3

However, it wasn’t *just* Valentina who was at her best, because Siegel & Meinunger delivered a great trampoline for her rise to stardom: Quotable and actually funny, “The Social Network Song” is a effective tongue-in-cheek spoof of the social media monstruosity everyone loves to hate. It matter-of-factly points out all the things wrong with social media culture, but frames it as an ad 😍 This is then topped off with some brilliant, obscure meta humour: DID YOU KNOW that “IF YOU WANNA COME TO MY HOUSE JUST CLICK ME WITH YOUR MOUSE” is a shameless plug for Valentina, who owns a b&b irl? <3 WERK that fanboy clientele, Valentinangel!  In sum, 

(That makes ”Crisalide” is the last San Marinese entry standing in this ranking)

________________________________________________________________

126. Lena - “Satellite” Germany 2010

I have a confession to make: I was never *that* hot on “Satellite”. I’ve always liked it, but I was never ~enamoured~ with it. Fun, chartable bop. Sure, it’s good, but it’s not something I get excited by.

However, during my recent rewatch I realized that I might have spent all those years severely underappreciating Satellite.  You see, between my last 2010 rewatch and now, Germany has subjected us to: Ann Sophie, Jamie-Lee, Levina and S!sters, all bland, beige, mediocre women without a discernible personality (or in Carlotta’s case, a deliberately annoying one to mask how painfully uninteresting she truly is) and good lord revisiting Lena and her disarming dork charm just REVITALIZES me. 

Even in what I think is the lesser of her two entries, Lena still fires off entertainment gold: from this BRILLIANT Safura take-down 

to wonderfully banal lyrics

“bought new underwear, light blue and I WORE ‘EM JUST THE OTHER DAY 😅"  + “I even painted my toenails for you. I DID IT JUST THE OTHER DAY!!! 😅”

to engaging in CONSTIPATED DORK DANCES.

Reliving all of that made me realize that, you know, Lena 1.0 is quite great after all. I do prefer Lena 2.0 though, but that is a write up you won’t be reading any time soon. 😏

#Eurovision #Eurovision Song Contest #Latvia #Italy #France #San Marino #Germany #Lena Meyer-Landrut #Valentina Monetta #Bilal Hassani #Il Volo #Triana Park #Satellite #Social Network Song #Beep Beep Ooh Oh Oh #Roi #Grande Amore #Line

[thisdaynews]

Premier League New Year's Day predictions: Lawro v BGT comedian and Liverpool fan Kojo Anim

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/premier-league-new-years-day-predictions-lawro-v-bgt-comedian-and-liverpool-fan-kojo-anim/

Premier League New Year's Day predictions: Lawro v BGT comedian and Liverpool fan Kojo Anim

Sheffield United start 2020 just two points off fifth place in the Premier League table before a first visit to leaders Liverpool for 13 years on Thursday.

“If I had to name a manager of the year midway through the season then it would be Sheffield United boss Chris Wilder,” BBC football expert Mark Lawrenson said.

“The great thing about them is they have shown every promoted team that they do not have to spend fortunes if you’re well coached, well organised and difficult to beat.

“It’s different for Liverpool boss Jurgen Klopp and all the other managers near the top because they have got real quality. Wilder has done a fantastic job.”

Lawro is making predictions for all 380 top-flight matches this season, against a variety of guests.

For the first round of Premier League fixtures of 2020, he is up againstBritain’s Got Talent comedian and Liverpool fan Kojo Anim.

Kojo, who is about to embark on a UK tour, is understandably is pretty happy with the way the Reds are doing right now.

He told BBC Sport: “Nobody is celebrating anything yet but with what I have been through in the past few years with that team, I think I deserve to enjoy myself at the moment.

“It does not look like there will be a dramatic end to the title race like there was last season when Manchester City pipped us at the post, but being totally honest, I don’t care!

“It has been 30 years since we last won it, and I would happily have had it totally wrapped up by Christmas if I could have done.”

Kojo is friends with Liverpool defender Joe Gomez and former Reds striker Daniel Sturridge and is a regular at Anfield

Kojo got into football and the Reds when he started watching John Barnes play for Liverpool in the 1980s – and told him that in person when he bumped into him a few weeks ago.

“I was at the station, on my way to watching Liverpool play Salzburg and I told him that I was left-footed so his position on the wing was always where I played – well, when I could,” he said. “Sometimes I was left-back, and sometimes I was on the bench.

“Could I have made it as a professional myself? Well, I had trials at QPR’s school of excellence when I was a kid and used to really enjoy it.

“Then I stopped enjoying it because I used to play with the older guys, who knew I was good but would always stamp their authority on me, and that is how I lost my confidence – then I started telling jokes instead, and I think I am a bit more of a natural at that.

“I was good at football, but looking back, that bit of bullying I got on the football pitch changed my life.”

Premier League predictions – week 21 Result Lawro Kojo WEDNESDAY, 1 JAN Brighton v Chelsea x-x 0-2 2-2 Burnley v Aston Villa x-x 2-0 1-2 Newcastle v Leicester x-x 2-0 1-3 Southampton v Tottenham x-x 0-2 0-3 Watford v Wolves x-x 2-1 0-2 Man City v Everton x-x 2-0 1-1 Norwich v Crystal Palace x-x 2-1 3-1 West Ham v Bournemouth x-x 2-0 1-0 Arsenal v Man Utd x-x 2-2 1-3 THURSDAY, 2 JAN Liverpool v Sheff Utd x-x 3-0 1-1

A correct result (picking a win, draw or defeat) is worth10points. The exact score earns40points.

LAWRO’S PREDICTIONS

All kick-offs 15:00 GMT unless stated.

WEDNESDAY, 1 JANUARY

Brighton v Chelsea (12:30 GMT)

Brighton fans might think I’ve suddenly fallen out of love with them but I haven’t. They’re going to be absolutely fine this season but I feel Chelsea have a better side and are decent on the road.

Chelsea were good in their last game as they came from behind to win against Arsenal. Frank Lampard deserves praise for changing his tactics mid-match. All of a sudden everybody started pouring forward and they looked a completely different team.

Lawro’s prediction:0-2

Kojo’s prediction:You never know what you are going to get from Chelsea this season. 2-2

Burnley v Aston Villa (12:30 GMT)

Burnley have lost three of their last four home games, which is very unlike them. I think they’ll be ready for Aston Villa, who are too easy to score against.

I listened to Villa’s complaints after their loss to Watford but they need to stop worrying about things that have gone against them and start winning some games.

Villa need to show a little bit of backbone.

Lawro’s prediction:2-0

Kojo’s prediction:1-2

Newcastle v Leicester

Newcastle are very difficult to predict. They don’t lose many games at home but against Everton last time out they were outplayed before coming back – only to be undone by a sucker punch.

In fairness to Leicester boss Brendan Rodgers, he made nine changes in the last game at West Ham and still got a win. That’s good management. He knows he has got players who can come in, win games, and not seriously weaken the side.

However, I fancy Newcastle to bounce back in this one.

Lawro’s prediction:2-0

Kojo’s prediction:Leicester have had a tough Christmas but Jamie Vardy has still got his tail up. 1-3

Southampton v Tottenham

Tottenham are a bit of a conundrum.

It’s taken Jose Mourinho a lot longer to mould Spurs into the team he wants – and it may only really happen when he has brought in players he wants.

I feel they do have so much quality that if they get it right against Southampton, who are on a nice little run, then they will win comfortably.

Lawro’s prediction:0-2

Kojo’s prediction:Jose Mourinho has brought a bit of stability and discipline to a very talented squad. 0-3

Watford v Wolves

Watford’s players are enjoying life under Nigel Pearson. I watched his first game in charge at Liverpool and they created more chances than any other team I have seen visit Anfield this season.

Wolves have a bunch of good players – not just four or five. They caused Liverpool problems last time out in a game overshadowed by VAR, which is turning into a bit of a farce.

Media playback is not supported on this device

MOTD2: ‘VAR is affecting spirit of the game’

Watford, though, are full of confidence after two wins and a draw in their last three matches.

Lawro’s prediction:2-1

Kojo’s prediction:0-2

Man City v Everton (17:30)

Carlo Ancelotti has had a really good start as Everton boss. In the last match at Newcastle, the Toffees looked a really good and full of confidence for half an hour – before revisiting their old mistakes from this Premier League season.

Manchester City are inconsistent like lots of teams in the Premier League. They look a little bit flat but Sergio Aguero is back and scoring again.

I do think City will go on a good run and their eyes might possibly be on the cup competitions – especially the Champions League.

Lawro’s prediction:2-0

Kojo’s prediction:I don’t see Liverpool going the whole season undefeated, but I think Manchester City are going to lose again at some point as well. They could easily drop points here because Everton are full of confidence under Carlo Ancelotti. 1-1

Norwich v Crystal Palace (17:30)

There’s a real spirit about Crystal Palace. Roy Hodgson’s side have come from behind to pick up points against Brighton and West Ham recently.

Norwich are not playing badly and are creating lots of chances. They’re also due a win and went close to beating Tottenham on Saturday.

Lawro’s prediction:2-1

Kojo’s prediction:3-1

West Ham v Bournemouth (17:30)

The return of David Moyes is just what West Ham need. He’ll get them organised and difficult to beat. All this ‘the fans aren’t happy he’s coming back’… the fans have got to be realistic.

He’s been appointed to make sure they stay up. His record is very good and if you look at how many times he has been a manager in the Premier League, he knows all about it and how it works.

David Moyes’ record at West Ham in his first spell

I know Bournemouth have been hit by injuries but they look flat. I think West Ham will get a bounce because of the new manager.

Lawro’s prediction:2-0

Kojo’s prediction:1-0

Arsenal v Man Utd (20:00)

Arsenal are the poorest I have seen them for many, many years. They simply cannot defend and their defensive issues are not going to be resolved anytime soon. Mikel Arteta has his work cut out trying to sort it all out.

That said, I think this will be an open game and I see them getting something against Manchester United.

United have had a good festive programme so far but they have their own fragilities.

Lawro’s prediction:2-2

Kojo’s prediction:Mikel Arteta has got a lot to fix at Arsenal, and it is not going to happen overnight. 1-3

THURSDAY, 2 JANUARY

Liverpool v Sheff Utd (20:00 GMT)

Sheffield United are heading to Anfield on the back of their first away defeat of the season, while Liverpool just keep churning out results.

I have been impressed with the Blades this season. They have been fabulous – long may it continue.

But I cannot see beyond a home win.

Lawro’s prediction:3-0

Kojo’s prediction:We won at Sheffield United in September but it felt like the only game this season that we could have lost. So, even though we are at home I am a bit wary, and I am expecting a tough evening. 1-1

How did Lawro do last week?

From last weekend’s Premier League fixtures, Lawro gotfourcorrect results withoneexact score from 10 games for a total of70 points.

He was beaten by rapper Avelino, who gotsixcorrect results, but withoneexact score, for a total of90 points.

+/- DENOTE POSITION DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LAWRO’S TABLE AND ACTUAL POSITION TEAM P W D L PTS +/- 1 Man City 20 19 0 1 57 +2 2 Liverpool 19 17 2 0 53 -1 3 Tottenham 20 15 4 1 49 +3 4 Chelsea 20 13 4 3 43 0 5 Arsenal 20 10 6 4 36 +7 6 Man Utd 20 10 5 5 35 -1 7 Leicester 20 9 5 6 32 -5 8 Watford 20 8 3 9 27 +11 9 Aston Villa 20 7 4 9 25 +9 =10 Burnley 20 7 3 10 24 +3 =10 Everton 20 6 6 8 24 0 =10 West Ham 19 7 3 9 24 +7 =13 Bournemouth 20 7 2 11 23 +3 =13 Wolves 20 7 2 11 23 -6 15 Newcastle 20 6 2 12 20 -4 16 Southampton 20 5 3 12 18 -1 17 Brighton 20 5 2 13 17 -3 =18 Crystal Palace 20 3 5 12 14 -9 =18 Sheff Utd 20 4 2 14 14 -10 20 Norwich 20 0 7 13 7 0

GUEST LEADERBOARD 2019-20

Score Guest leaderboard 160 Gabriel Luna 140 Arnold Schwarzenegger 100 Adam Peaty 90 Avelino, Helen Housby, Jo Harten, Bobby Seagull, Geraint Thomas 80 Andy Murray, Stephen Graham 77 Lawro (average after 20 weeks) 70 David Baddiel, Richard Hawley, Michael Johnson, Craig Mitch, Alex Scott 60 Sonny Bill Williams, Serge from Kasabian, Stefan Ratchford 50 Chelcee Grimes, Reece Parkinson, Sam Warburton 40 Stephen Fry, Neil Jones, Tommy O’Dell 30 Seth Rollins

Total scores after week 20 Lawro 1,540 Guests 1,410

Read More

#comedian #Liverpool

[newagesispage]

                                                              JULY                               2019

PAGE RIB

If you care what people think, you’re their prisoner. – Heidi Fleiss

*****

The Stones are back and opened in Chicago on June21. The reviews were great, they mostly stuck to the hits and Mick was in top notch form. Monkey Man and Sweet Virginia are back!!! Woo Hoo!!

*****

Satellite images show the complete deployment of 4 Russian made S-300 missile defense systems.

*****

Comedians in cars getting coffee will start season 11 on July 19. This season will bring us Eddie Murphy, Barry Marder, Bridget Everett, Melissa Villsenor, Sebastian Maniscalco, Seth Rogan, Ricky Gervais, Matthew Broderick, Jamie Foxx, Mario Joyner and Martin Short.

*****

Law and Order: Hate Crimes is coming.

*****

NRATV is no more. Hooray!! The NRA’s second in command Chris Cox has resigned after he was implicated in a plot to oust Wayne La Pierre. Cox calls the charges, “offensive and patently false.” There are also multiple lawsuits from ad firm Ackerman McQueen that claim the NRA is in violation of contracts.

*****

Republican representative Duncan Hunter is headed to court in September for charges that he and his wife illegally spent more than $250,000 in political donations. Prosecutors want to list details of his many affairs.

*****

NBC is bringing back Who Do You Think You Are?

*****

Police in Hong Kong are beating protesters.

*****

Sexual harassment news of the month: George Nader, part of Trump’s transition team, was arrested in New York on child porn charges.**Cuba Gooding Jr. was charged in NY with forcible touching. His lawyer says that the incident is on tape and will prove he is innocent.** Trump has been accused by the 22nd woman, this time of rape, but most of the media seemed to be playing it down. The victim, writer E. Jean Carroll says she will cooperate 100%.

*****

The Supreme Court ruled that the government can’t stop us from running a business with a scandalous name.

*****

Stop the cash bail system. It is costing us money every day.

*****

Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger have wed.

*****

Joe Sestak is running for President.

*****

I always think of Meghan McCain as the Rosie O’Donnell of the right. She seems to have a big heart and her childhood and parents seem to have made a huge influence. Somehow she always brings everything back to her and she freaks on certain talking points.

*****

Let’s keep an eye on U.S. transportation secretary Elaine Chao. The shipping dynasty of her family is benefitting from industrial policies in China.

*****

2 deputies were fired for inaction pertaining to the Parkland shooting.

*****

People were horrified at the image of Scary Clown with graves in the background on foreign soil as he talked of “Nervous Nancy” and called Mueller a fool. We were outraged when he told us that he would want to listen to dirt on others and wouldn’t see why he should tell the FBI before he walked it back. He does not fucking care. When will we all understand that?

*****

The President is being urged to cancel his speech at the Lincoln memorial.  Many of his own people think it might appear to be a campaign stop paid for by the American people. He did that already when he made ads for himself while at his golf course in Scotland.** I suppose he will pretend to be all about America again when he gets back from smiling with North Korean and Russian dictators.

*****

New York has banned declawing. Meow!!

*****

It is looking like Sam Little, in prison in California, may turn out to be the most prolific serial killer in U.S. history.

*****

The Tony’s came and went. Big winners were Bryan Cranston, Elaine May and Bob Mackie. Ali Stoker was the first wheelchair bound winner and Hadestown won the most awards.

*****

Some schools are trying out yoga instead of detention.  Teaching children how to control their feelings and help it to dissipate seems to be work.

*****

The Catholic Church has stomped on the rights of our Trans brothers and sisters. They decree that people should stay the way they are born.

*****

The movie,’ The Dead Don’t Die’ sounds great with Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton, Adam Driver, Danny Glover, Tom Waits and Steve Buscemi.

*****

Trump and Pence seem pretty pleased with themselves for not allowing the rainbow flag to fly during pride month. They really hate progress, don’t they?  Luckily, some brave souls are finding ways around it.

*****

Scary Clown has signed an executive order to increase transparency of hospital costs and info of medical professionals.

*****

On July 17 Bob Mueller will testify. **A comic book publisher is turning the report into a graphic novel.

*****

JB Pritzker has signed legal weed into Illinois and they will look at releasing low level drug offenders and putting money back into hard hit communities that were affected by the drug war.

*****

Maple Vale is suing because they say big chicken companies have colluded to hike prices.

*****

Absolut has been a proud supporter of the gay community since the 70’s.  

*****

Jim Gaffigan is in the new film, ‘Being Frank.’

*****

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is out. Many reporters tell us that she and other WH staff can be very different behind the scenes. They have been known to be very helpful and personable at times. The bluster and the lies are mostly for show for the boss.** Acting US customs and border protection commissioner John Sanders is out.

*****  

Scary Clown really put his foot in it with his Stephanopoulus interview. From little wise guy to taking help from foreign powers to the look on his face after ‘the cough’ it was quite the show.** Chuck Todd really soft balled his interview with our Pres. Shame on you.

*****

So, of course Manafort is going to a Federal location instead of Riker’s Island after AG Barr sent a letter to state prosecutors.

*****

One day it is announced that ICE is throwing millions out of the country. Another day they will round up 2,000 illegals that haven’t shown up for court etc. then that is on hold. Iran is going to be hit then it isn’t. It seems like real panic time in the WH. Justice Department attorney Sarah Fabian has explained in her double talk that kids without toothbrushes, soap and proper sleep is fine. Concrete floors in cages seem like a good idea to Trumps WH. Sarah Fabians phone number of 202-532-4824 was released to the public and she got an earful but I am sure she has changed that # by now.** ICE won’t even allow anyone to donate items to the kids in cages except for one in Deming, NM.

*****

Roy Moore is running for senate in 2020. These pompous, narcissistic pigs will not just fade away.

*****

I really hate this way the media lumps all the ‘rest’ of the Dem candidates as interchangeable. At least give everybody a chance to tell us who they are until the debates. All should have an equal chance because there are some good candidates there. Each one is unique and has at least one good idea. Would they all make a good President? Probably not but let’s hear them out!! People wonder why we never have enough choices and then they try to thin the field right away.  Andrew Yang wasn’t even included in some of the advertising for the debates and he is polling 8th. ** Seth Macfarlane and Bill Maher suggest that we do away with the audience. Great idea!!

*****

The first night of debate went well. I went in loving Inslee and went out the same way. He didn’t get much chance to talk what with the moderators asking Elizabeth Warren questions about 4 to the others 1. When Jay did get to speak about climate change and calling out CEO’s,  I thought he was dynamic. He really puts his money where his mouth is. I wish more people would research him. He had the best answer of what this country’s greatest threat is when he answered ,”Donald Trump.” Colbert made fun of Inslee for interrupting Warren about the rights of women. I must say that as a woman, that never even occurred to me because I was looking at her as a candidate. He has also been raked over for trying to interject with that finger in the air. Hmm.. so polite. DeBlasio got in a great line about not blaming immigrants for their problems but blaming the corporations, otherwise he seemed like a bully. Warren and Booker were competent. Klobachar, Gabbard and Ryan should call it quits. I like O’Rourke but he just seems too sweet. I loved his close because he referenced current events like the kids in cages and student protests which didn’t seem like running for student council Pres. I was impressed with John Delaney who I hadn’t known much about.  But Julian Castro won the night. He still wouldn’t be my first choice but he did everything right. He was truly Presidential and seemed to resonate with everybody. He was forceful, down to earth and seemed to know what he was talking about.

*****

Night 2 of the debates was a bit more lively. Hickenlooper will probably impress a few conservatives with his insistence that the Dems shouldn’t identify so much with socialism. Gillibrand seemed like tonight’s bully and it is time for her to go along with Bennet, Swalwell  and Williamson. Now, Marianne got a lot of shit but I agree with her on some basics. Preventative medicine and love being the answer is not stupid. These are things we don’t put enough stock in so why laugh it off? She is right about the chemicals and climate and why we are so sick in this world. She is right about state sponsored crimes and child abuse at the border. I thought Gillibrand repeated herself too much but she is right about putting too much money into private prisons. Buttigieg had a great point about the ‘free college for all’ thing by looking at the reality of those who don’t want college, a decent minimum wage and the rich paying for their own schooling.  He is also quite perceptive about republicans using religion while separating families which gives them no right to use God’s name. He was a bit sweaty but poised and measured all the way through. I am a big Andrew Yang fan and his money to all every month is something I have thought a solid idea for years but he is not Presidential at this point. He should be in the cabinet because he is an idea person but he sort of nervously choked on his first question about his signature piece. I loved that he didn’t wear a tie and his closing statement was awesome. Bernie gave us no surprises but the red, white and blue reflected in his glasses was fascinating. I did love his line about a hemisphere problem that we have and called out the Yemen crisis.  Like the night before, Biden seemed to get more time than the lesser knowns. He started out smooth and easy and ended serious and defensive because of the jabs he received. Kamala Harris stole the night with some of those. She jumped on Williamson’s mention of reparations to explain to Biden why his recent rhetoric of segregationists was so painful. This is why I love debates, it can change everything. I can’t really imagine anyone else taking on Trump at this point. She had some great lines like calming the boys down about no food fights but putting food on the table. Her close was a bit halting but she fired up the crowd as if she was already President.

*****

The after shows zeroed in on the flaws which will unfortunately define some of them.  The way we loop ‘Bookers look’ or ‘Williamson’s love not fear for political purposes’ can belittle the progress we can make. I am right in there watching it but it gets old. Trevor Noah said that many try but it was the Right time for Harris to play the race card. Race is already playing a part as some birtherism is erupting eluding to her Indian mother and Jamaican father.  Don Jr. got the wheels in motion by retweeting some garbage about Harris not being an “American black.”She raised about 2 mil after the debates.

*****

I will never understand why people always bring up this ‘elite’ business when talking about the Dems. Most of the people I have personally known who had a lot of money and looked down their nose at others have been republicans. Perhaps it is all about where one is from.

*****

Teens are evolving bone spurs on the back of their heads from looking down at their phones so much.

*****

Succession will be back on August 11.

*****

A little political hocus pocus seems to be ok with the Supreme Court. In a 5-4 ruling they have barred challenges to partisan gerrymandering.

*****

G20 countries make about 80% of global CO2 emissions. They had agreed to phase out subsidies for fossil fuels. Reports show that in the years since , they have nearly tripled subsidies to coal plants.

*****

Trump is schmoozing with Kim Jong UN saying, ”I would invite him tight now to the WH.”** There was a brawl with new unofficial  WH press secretary Stephanie Grisham and Kim’s people.

*****

The Travers film fest will honor Lily Tomlin with a lifetime achievement award.

*****

The ex- governor of Michigan Rick Snyder, who is responsible for the Flint water crisis, will now have a fellowship at Harvard.

*****

“Trump didn’t actually win the election in 2016. He lost the election and he was put into office because the Russians interfered.”- Jimmy Carter, former President and international expert on election fraud.

Toy Story 4 is big box office.

*****

Mythic Quest is the new series produced and written in part by Charlie Day and Rob Mcelhenney.  The show will be about a video game development company and will star F. Murray Abraham and Danny Pudi.

*****

Melissa McCarthy may play Ursula in the live action  The Little Mermaid.

A hacker stole the latest music from Radiohead and threatened to release it if they didn’t pony up $150,000 in ransom. The band released a statement declaring. ”We’ve been hacked” , released it themselves for 18 days and the money went to charity. Rock on!!

*****

In Cape Coral, Fla., a parent forced a kid to walk around with a sign of  their wrong deeds. Oh bit.. this stuff is back again.

*****

ICS in Springfield, Illinois’ fired Joe Crane from his broadcast for his honesty. Corporate was insisting on using a ‘CODE RED’ alert for weather even when the weather wasn’t so bad to keep the paranoid watching. After numerous complaints and Crane apparently not able to talk corporate out of it, he went to the public and let them know how much he disagreed with the policy but his hands were tied.  Of course, corporate let him go.

*****

The FCC is giving the phone company more power to fight robo calls.

*****

Archeologists found some weed in China inside some ceremonial cannabis bowls from 2500 years ago.

*****

Rapper Scarface is running for city council in Houston.

*****

20,000 Christians have petitioned Netflix to cancel Good Omens. I am sure the Amazon show is loving the publicity, they were probably looking for something just like this to happen. Oddly, just before I heard this story I saw the first couple of episodes and thought it was pretty good.

*****

Don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.

*****

The fight to end robo calls has been named ‘Operation Call it Quits.’

*****

OJ Simpson opened a twitter account on the 25th anniversary of the murders of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.

*****

The 71st Emmy’s will be held on Sept. 22 and may not have a host. This no host thing seems to be catching on since it saves money and controversy. The noms will be announced July 16.

*****

If you get the chance, read the Vanity Fair article about Col. Jennifer Pritzker. The cousin of Illinois Governor, JB Pritzker is the world’s only known trans billionaire.

*****

Refineries, Chemical plants and plastics are giving our fire fighters cancer and cities are often not compensating them.

*****

Jordan Klepper used his mug shot as the pic to headline his show. He was arrested with pastors for their rally n support of immigrant students.

*****

Do you wonder if the Trump kids and Melania have so much power and money that they don’t mind that Trump is a laughingstock?

*****

I saw that Seth Meyers used the term bummer camp to explain a kid who gets sent to camp because their parents need to work on their divorce. My friends and I always used that term when our summer camp music festival gets ruined by endless rain.

*****

R.I.P. Roky Erickson, Leon Redbone, Dr. John, Franco Zeffirelli, Leah Chase, Zarious Fair, Elliot Roberts, Alan Brinkley , Troy Chisum, Oscar and Valeria Ramirez, Edward Gallardo and Gloria Vanderbilt.

[its-time-to-write]

just a short little Thanksgiving blurb for all my American girlies 🥰🦃

ours

You force yourself back to the present, where your twelve year-old cousin is updating you on the latest middle school drama. 

“…and that’s why boys named Max are a red flag, but dogs named Max are not,” she concludes. 

You giggle and nod appropriately, taking a sip from your drink. The house is filled with the entire family this Thanksgiving and while it’s pleasantly crowded, it still feels like a part of you is missing. 

Your phone is securely in your bag, a tactic to try to keep yourself from replaying highlights from the England match from the previous weekend. Every other WAG got to go support their man, but you were stuck in America with pre-Thanksgiving work. Thanksgiving has only been going on for twenty minutes, and you’re ready to call it and go home. 

International dating is hard.

Your mom can tell, so she’s been giving you tasks to do all day. She must’ve told your grandma or maybe she’s just incredibly observant, because she’s picked up the mantle as well and neither of them give you enough time to be alone with your thoughts. 

It’s nice of them, except now the family’s here and everyone’s asking about your boyfriend. They don’t care that he’s a footballer (in the best way) and they’re all excited for you, but you wish he were here. 

Maybe you can sneak upstairs and call him. 

You do some quick math and realize he should be asleep so you sigh and ask your cousin if she wants to come with you to steal macaroni and cheese. 

She smiles and says, “Yes, duh.”

“It’s going to be tricky,” you warn. “My mom and your mom are going to be on the lookout.”

“I bet Grandpa will sneak us some,” she reminds you. Oh yes, Grandpa would do anything for his granddaughters. 

You grab her hand and weave through aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters, cousins and a few other relatives. You’re pretty sure this is the biggest Thanksgiving you’ve ever had. 

You and your cousin successfully get your hands on two bowls of mac and cheese, and slip away to an unoccupied corner to eat it. 

You’re smiling and not thinking about Jamie at all. This is your favorite cousin, the one who’s eleven years younger than you, but you two have been doing dumb shit together since she could talk. 

You’re almost done when someone slides into your space, pressing their arm against yours. Your cousin’s eyes widen as she looks at you and you turn, expecting to see an aunt or god-forbid one of your snitch brothers. 

Instead, you’re met with blue eyes and a familiar smile. 

You choke on your last bite of food as you launch yourself into Jamie’s arms.  

“What are you doing here?” you ask, refusing to let go of him. “You have a match this weekend.”

He shrugs, still smiling. “Ah, you know, gotta be culturally sensitive with my American girlfriend, babe. Milestones and all that.”

You raise an eyebrow. There’s no way Roy let him go with that excuse. 

“Or I might have injured meself at the match last week and am out of training for two weeks,” Jamie says. 

“You’re hurt?” you exclaim. “Why didn’t you call me? Should you have been on a plane? What happened?”

You’ve inadvertently tightened your grip around Jamie’s neck, so he reaches up to remove your hands, still keeping them in his. He lifts them up to his lips to kiss your knuckles. 

“I’m fine. Just my ankle. But I figured, who not come surprise ya?”

“Does my mom know you’re here?”

Jamie’s grin turns cocky. “Called your mum and dad three days ago. I’m staying in their guest room, ain’t I? Got in this morning before you lot showed up.”

Your cousin has been watching this scene a little open-mouthed the whole time. “I wish my boyfriend would do that for me,” she murmurs. 

Your head snaps over to her. “Your what,” you say to her and she holds her hands up defensively. 

“Oh look it’s your English boyfriend who flew all the way to America for Thanksgiving, why don’t you kiss him some more?” she deflects, and Jamie shoots her a wink and tilts your face up for a kiss so your cousin can get away. 

“I can’t believe you’re here,” you tell him. “Oh my gosh, we’re going to have the BEST time. Get ready to have your mind blown, little British boy.”

“Anything for you, Miss America,” he teases. “Just don’t make me try those mushroom things I saw, looked fucking awful, that.”

You pull a shocked face. “Oh but it’s tradition. Everyone has to suffer through my uncle Darren’s gross stuffed mushrooms at least once. And since you’re new here…” you trail off. 

Jamie grimaces while you giggle and run a hand through his hair. God, you can’t believe he’s here and while you aren’t thrilled he’s injured, maybe it’s not such a bad thing. 

“C’mon,” you say, tugging him to the kitchen. “I want to go yell at mom and dad for not telling me you were coming.”

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt x y/n #jamie tartt x you #jamie tartt #ted lasso

[megadarkbouquettidalwavethings]

Five visions for the future of music

Welcome to the (not so) distant future.

The year is 2018.

Music is changing fast, but can the humans keep up?

Here’s a handful of possible outcomes.

Go boldly everybody.

1) Your favourite singer is not real

One of Japan’s biggest pop stars Hatsune Miku (above) is not a real person.

But that small detail didn’t prevent the humanoid singer from releasing another new music video last week.

She may also have some duets lined up – given that she’s already collaborated with Pharrell.

If the name of the fictional J-pop act is unfamiliar, then try this one on for size:

Roy Orbison.

The Big O died in 1988 but now his 3D hologram world tour will come to life, alongside the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, on 8 April in Cardiff.

His son, Roy Orbison Jr, who hopes his dad’s avatar will one day have a Las Vegas residency, says: “We’re really excited we got the opportunity to do this: the first big tour of a deceased artist with a hologram.

“I don’t think it’s possible yet for the hologram to walk out into the audience so there’s definitely a lot of potential for live application.”

He adds: “But most importantly this is just the icing on the cake.

“The cake is those amazing songs that my dad wrote and his incredible voice.”

Rapper, activist and actual woman M.I.A believes virtual alter egos can benefit living musicians too.

“Artists are at the cusp of embracing AI. But what is political activism in AI phase?” she pondered at Meltdown.

“I think ‘Should I make my next video in virtual reality instead of me?’. I find that sexy – new technology.

“I could take the hippy route of singing to people face-to-face… or I could stream my virtual shows to people’s bedrooms around the world so you can be at my show wherever you are.”

She went on: “The amount of data AI can pick up on is so fast growing that the future me will be way better anyway!

“But will the future me be less politicised?”

Speak to James Skelly of Merseyside psych rockers The Coral and he’ll tell you he would have made the digital changeover years ago.

He says: “We wanted a holographic version of The Coral, when we were first doing well in about 2002, to tour Japan as us.

“If there was a group that could do another gig, as well as us, and we could split the profits, I’d be up for it!

“But you need songs – it’s always about songs.”

For all we know, the future may have already started for Guy Garvey of Manchester band Elbow.

“How do you know that we are not already holographic?” he quips.

Well, quite.

2) The live parameters have shifted

From the hippies at Woodstock in 1969 to Ed Sheeran and his loop pedal at Glastonbury this summer, the festival experience has been forever changing.

Bluedot Festival – Photo: BLUEDOT FESTIVAL

By next summer, virtual and augmented reality – as well as “3D mapping” – could mean they are more interactive than ever before.

Ben Robinson, creative director of Bluedot Festival at the Jodrell Bank Observatory (you know, the one in Hitchhikers Guide), is giddy at the thought of “shifting the parameters”.

“We had Orbital playing [in 2017] who, 20 years ago, were the very cutting edge, looking at lasers and light production making it more than just some guy standing on a stage,” he says.

“Now today the incorporation of visuals and the production that goes on is quite insane.

“3D mapping manipulates the look and feel of a 3D object. It’s been done on castles to make them look like they’ve fallen down.

“Now people can experience being on the stage with the artists. Or the gig could move off the stage.

“We are a generation spoiled with possibilities.”

Animated heroes Gorillaz hosted their own one-day festival, Demon Dayz, at Margate theme park Dreamland last summer.

Co-creator Jamie Hewlett told the Daily Star that he and Damon Albarn may be getting “too old” but Ben sees no reason why the show can’t go on without them.

“In the past a band’s legacy was they left a record and VHS recording of a concert. Now they can leave the tools for someone else and be just as effective 50 years in the future.”

3) The recording studio is in your laptop

Noel Gallagher confessed to Radio X’s John Kennedy last month that he had never actually met the bass player on his new album Who Built The Moon?

Jason Falkner was doing his thing down the line from LA, while Noel was having his mind blown in Belfast and London.

Noel said: “It was the entire opposite to the thing I’ve ever done. My thing with Oasis was being in a room with a bunch of people and eye contact.

“Here I am at two in the afternoon talking to a guy on an iPad and for him it’s four in the morning and I can hear the song coming through his speakers and he’s saying ‘What do you think of this? Maybe if I do that?’

“And I’m like ‘this is so far out it’s unbelievable’.”

Butch Vig, former Nirvana producer and drummer with Garbage and 5 Billions in Diamonds, confirms such technology is also now available to new bands, who are short on cash but long on distance and imagination.

“There’s a new editing programme where you can be working on the same song in real time in different cities,” he says.

“You have to be creative with the tools you’ve got and, because of the digital technology, everybody can have a really powerful recording studio in your laptop.”

Beth Orton (who incidentally describes Hatsune Miku as “the music industry’s perfect woman”) embraced such kit on her latest album Kidsticks and in some cases preferred computer-generated sounds over actual instruments.

She says: “The ability to play the keyboard and the sound to be any sound possible was very freeing. That would influence the melodies that you created.”

But just a little of that human touch still goes a long way in the creative process.

“Even making an electronic record it was about the connection with the producer and the other musicians.

“I personally like a bit of imperfection.”

4) There’s a direct line between you and your favourite act

Jack White’s Third Man Records reward their subscribers with deliveries of exclusive limited edition pressings.

DJ Gramatik went a step further last week by becoming the first artist to “tokenise” himself, meaning fans who buy the token using the cryptocurrency Ether can potentially share in his future revenue.

Jeff Smith from music databse Discogs believes such block chain technology will “set a direct line from creator to consumer to be able to send things directly, without any form of piracy”.

He says: “We could see subscription platforms, like Third Man records, being able to send out Jack White exclusives without them being traded or shared in any way.”

That’s not to say that fans won’t still crave physical records and material from their new crypto-favourites.

“We’re definitely seeing a universal unplugging and physical music becoming a major part of peoples lives again.”

London hip hop star Loyle Carner is not currently available in token form and he’s happy to keep fans waiting for the follow-up to his Mercury-nominated 2017 album Yesterday’s Gone.

“A song comes out and people say ‘I like that – OK now I’m bored of that. Where’s the next one?’,” he explains.

“Singles are like chapters from a book and if you want to hear my music you’ve got to wait for it.”

5) But new music technology will not be for everyone

For all the head-bending future technology, for many, music always was and always will be about the people… man.

Neil Hannon from the Divine Comedy says: “I’m going to come across as a complete Luddite now but I believe music only gets worse the further you take people and humanity out of it.

“I foresee if they insist on going down this non-existent route then you’re only going to get another punk of some description that rewrites the rulebook.”

Punks like Irish rockers The Strypes maybe?

Bass player Peter O’Hanlon says: “Our fresh approach will be that we just come and play the gig! Everybody else is flying across the stage and we just stand in front of you and play.”

Guitarist Josh McClorey agrees: “The other stuff is cool, but it’s a gimmick.”

Compatriot Lisa Hannigan won’t be found jamming over the internet or appearing live as a hologram anytime soon.

“I don’t think that’s going to be my bag of chips!” says Lisa.

“I just like rocking out a jam with my friends. I can barely work the camera on my phone.

“Cancel the Lisa Hannigan Hologram tour. We’ve lost the cable!”

Just because you can, doesn’t always mean you should and as we hurl ourselves into the new age, fellow folkee Marcus Mumford prefers to hold on to the sacred spirit of the past.

He says: “I don’t know what the future of music is going to look like but if I’m not playing I don’t want no part of it.

“If it sounds good and people are having a good time, then it’s enough for me.”

Source: BBC

The post Five visions for the future of music appeared first on Breaking News Top News & Latest News Headlines | Reuters.

[megadarkbouquettidalwavethings]

Five visions for the future of music

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption Hatsune Miku: She’s not there

Welcome to the (not so) distant future.

The year is 2018.

Music is changing fast, but can the humans keep up?

Here’s a handful of possible outcomes.

Go boldly everybody.

1) Your favourite singer is not real

One of Japan’s biggest pop stars Hatsune Miku (above) is not a real person.

But that small detail didn’t prevent the humanoid singer from releasing another new music video last week.

She may also have some duets lined up – given that she’s already collaborated with Pharrell.

If the name of the fictional J-pop act is unfamiliar, then try this one on for size:

Roy Orbison.

The Big O died in 1988 but now his 3D hologram world tour will come to life, alongside the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, on 8 April in Cardiff.

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption Rob Orbison: In Dreams and now in holograms too

His son, Roy Orbison Jr, who hopes his dad’s avatar will one day have a Las Vegas residency, says: “We’re really excited we got the opportunity to do this: the first big tour of a deceased artist with a hologram.

“I don’t think it’s possible yet for the hologram to walk out into the audience so there’s definitely a lot of potential for live application.”

He adds: “But most importantly this is just the icing on the cake.

“The cake is those amazing songs that my dad wrote and his incredible voice.”

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption M.I.A finds technology ‘sexy’

Rapper, activist and actual woman M.I.A believes virtual alter egos can benefit living musicians too.

“Artists are at the cusp of embracing AI. But what is political activism in AI phase?” she pondered at Meltdown.

“I think ‘Should I make my next video in virtual reality instead of me?’. I find that sexy – new technology.

“I could take the hippy route of singing to people face-to-face… or I could stream my virtual shows to people’s bedrooms around the world so you can be at my show wherever you are.”

She went on: “The amount of data AI can pick up on is so fast growing that the future me will be way better anyway!

“But will the future me be less politicised?”

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption Can the real Coral please stand up

Speak to James Skelly of Merseyside psych rockers The Coral and he’ll tell you he would have made the digital changeover years ago.

He says: “We wanted a holographic version of The Coral, when we were first doing well in about 2002, to tour Japan as us.

“If there was a group that could do another gig, as well as us, and we could split the profits, I’d be up for it!

“But you need songs – it’s always about songs.”

For all we know, the future may have already started for Guy Garvey of Manchester band Elbow.

“How do you know that we are not already holographic?” he quips.

Well, quite.

2) The live parameters have shifted

Image copyright Bluedot Festival

Image caption Bluedot Festival

From the hippies at Woodstock in 1969 to Ed Sheeran and his loop pedal at Glastonbury this summer, the festival experience has been forever changing.

By next summer, virtual and augmented reality – as well as “3D mapping” – could mean they are more interactive than ever before.

Ben Robinson, creative director of Bluedot Festival at the Jodrell Bank Observatory (you know, the one in Hitchhikers Guide), is giddy at the thought of “shifting the parameters”.

“We had Orbital playing [in 2017] who, 20 years ago, were the very cutting edge, looking at lasers and light production making it more than just some guy standing on a stage,” he says.

“Now today the incorporation of visuals and the production that goes on is quite insane.

“3D mapping manipulates the look and feel of a 3D object. It’s been done on castles to make them look like they’ve fallen down.

“Now people can experience being on the stage with the artists. Or the gig could move off the stage.

“We are a generation spoiled with possibilities.”

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption Gorillaz

Animated heroes Gorillaz hosted their own one-day festival, Demon Dayz, at Margate theme park Dreamland last summer.

Co-creator Jamie Hewlett told the Daily Star that he and Damon Albarn may be getting “too old” but Ben sees no reason why the show can’t go on without them.

“In the past a band’s legacy was they left a record and VHS recording of a concert. Now they can leave the tools for someone else and be just as effective 50 years in the future.”

3) The recording studio is in your laptop

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption Noel Gallagher: “I’m in the UK – what time is it there?”

Noel Gallagher confessed to Radio X’s John Kennedy last month that he had never actually met the bass player on his new album Who Built The Moon?

Jason Falkner was doing his thing down the line from LA, while Noel was having his mind blown in Belfast and London.

Noel said: “It was the entire opposite to the thing I’ve ever done. My thing with Oasis was being in a room with a bunch of people and eye contact.

“Here I am at two in the afternoon talking to a guy on an iPad and for him it’s four in the morning and I can hear the song coming through his speakers and he’s saying ‘What do you think of this? Maybe if I do that?’

“And I’m like ‘this is so far out it’s unbelievable’.”

Butch Vig, former Nirvana producer and drummer with Garbage and 5 Billions in Diamonds, confirms such technology is also now available to new bands, who are short on cash but long on distance and imagination.

“There’s a new editing programme where you can be working on the same song in real time in different cities,” he says.

“You have to be creative with the tools you’ve got and, because of the digital technology, everybody can have a really powerful recording studio in your laptop.”

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption Beth Orton: Perfectly imperfect

Beth Orton (who incidentally describes Hatsune Miku as “the music industry’s perfect woman”) embraced such kit on her latest album Kidsticks and in some cases preferred computer-generated sounds over actual instruments.

She says: “The ability to play the keyboard and the sound to be any sound possible was very freeing. That would influence the melodies that you created.”

But just a little of that human touch still goes a long way in the creative process.

“Even making an electronic record it was about the connection with the producer and the other musicians.

“I personally like a bit of imperfection.”

4) There’s a direct line between you and your favourite act

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption Jack White: “It says ‘Dear Stephen’, thanks for your support’

Jack White’s Third Man Records reward their subscribers with deliveries of exclusive limited edition pressings.

DJ Gramatik went a step further last week by becoming the first artist to “tokenise” himself, meaning fans who buy the token using the cryptocurrency Ether can potentially share in his future revenue.

Jeff Smith from music databse Discogs believes such block chain technology will “set a direct line from creator to consumer to be able to send things directly, without any form of piracy”.

He says: “We could see subscription platforms, like Third Man records, being able to send out Jack White exclusives without them being traded or shared in any way.”

That’s not to say that fans won’t still crave physical records and material from their new crypto-favourites.

“We’re definitely seeing a universal unplugging and physical music becoming a major part of peoples lives again.”

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption Loyle Carner: Fighting for your right (to not release more music yet)

London hip hop star Loyle Carner is not currently available in token form and he’s happy to keep fans waiting for the follow-up to his Mercury-nominated 2017 album Yesterday’s Gone.

“A song comes out and people say ‘I like that – OK now I’m bored of that. Where’s the next one?’,” he explains.

“Singles are like chapters from a book and if you want to hear my music you’ve got to wait for it.”

5) But new music technology will not be for everyone

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption Neil Hannon: People person

For all the head-bending future technology, for many, music always was and always will be about the people… man.

Neil Hannon from the Divine Comedy says: “I’m going to come across as a complete Luddite now but I believe music only gets worse the further you take people and humanity out of it.

“I foresee if they insist on going down this non-existent route then you’re only going to get another punk of some description that rewrites the rulebook.”

Punks like Irish rockers The Strypes maybe?

Bass player Peter O’Hanlon says: “Our fresh approach will be that we just come and play the gig! Everybody else is flying across the stage and we just stand in front of you and play.”

Guitarist Josh McClorey agrees: “The other stuff is cool, but it’s a gimmick.”

Image copyright Getty Images

Image caption Lisa Hannigan: “Can you plug me back in at the back please?”

Compatriot Lisa Hannigan won’t be found jamming over the internet or appearing live as a hologram anytime soon.

“I don’t think that’s going to be my bag of chips!” says Lisa.

“I just like rocking out a jam with my friends. I can barely work the camera on my phone.

“Cancel the Lisa Hannigan Hologram tour. We’ve lost the cable!”

Just because you can, doesn’t always mean you should and as we hurl ourselves into the new age, fellow folkee Marcus Mumford prefers to hold on to the sacred spirit of the past.

He says: “I don’t know what the future of music is going to look like but if I’m not playing I don’t want no part of it.

“If it sounds good and people are having a good time, then it’s enough for me.”

Media playback is unsupported on your device

Media captionJade Bird, The Shelters & The Lumineers share their visions of the future of music

Follow us on Facebook, on Twitter @BBCNewsEnts, or on Instagram at bbcnewsents. If you have a story suggestion email [email protected].

BBC Music homepage

BBC Music News LIVE

The post Five visions for the future of music appeared first on dailygate.