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nightsidewrestling · 1 year

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D.U.D.E: Part 3 - Shamrocks & Shenanigans (Set in 2020)

Note: This is set in a universe where Men VS Women / Intergender matches can happen.

Chapter 1: here Chapter 2: here

Tags: @piratewithvigor @tantamount-treason @thedollmaker16

Around 2000 Words. 18+ in places (those chapters will be marked as ‘Mature / sexual content’ just to be safe). Please inform me if you wish to be tagged or untagged from posts. If the text is in italics and orange it’s Kirby’s inner monologue. If the text is coloured but not in italics, it’s either dialogue or a P.O.V change (P.O.V changes will be in bold and translated dialogue will appear in square [ ] brackets), Key below. Quick note on Geia’s text colour: Yes I do know that as Greed she should be in yellow but I decided to colour the men’s dialogue yellow so Geia was changed to be pink like the other women in the story outside of the main 8.

The Main 8: Damo - Bio. Vi - Bio. Billie - Bio. Geia - Bio. Kirby - Bio. Honey - Bio. Eli - Bio. Sara - Bio.

Gluttony's P.O.V:

"Nope, just me, Mam and Da."

"Any boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancé?"

"That's very forward of you, Eddie."

"I just want to know if there's anyone, other than the girls and Damien, in your life."

"Nope, as far as I'm concerned, I'm by myself."

Eddie nods as he leans back, breathing out a cloud of smoke as he looks at Kirby.

"I have... had friends, back home, T.J, Mike and Yoshi. Haven't spoken to them since I left Wales, though, two years ago." She mutters.

"You have me," Eddie smiles softly before clearing his throat, "and Mox, if you need us, I'm always just a text or phone call away if you need me."

"You'll protect me?" She jokes, cocking an eyebrow as she looks at Eddie.

"Yeah. Sure on TV we're at war right now, but now I know what your 'Boss' is like, and he's an asshole by the way," Eddie grins, "I'm gonna keep you safe whether you like it or not."

"Don't be an ass, Eddie." She chuckles, struggling to keep a straight face as Eddie sticks his tongue out at her.

"you're stuck with me today, kid, so you better get used to this asshole." He winks.

"I'm stuck with you. As in Mox dropped you off so you'll be with me all day?"

"Exactly, so put up and shut up. Where's your car anyway? We can talk and drive, get you to relax around me, too."

Kirby looks over at Eddie whilst they walk to the car. He glances over at her, smiling as he takes a drag of his cigarette, finishing it before getting into the car. The moment she turns the car on her music comes on, quiet but still loud enough to hear, 'The Have Nots' by House of Pain.

"Oh man, you listen to House of Pain?"

"Yeah, why? Do you want me to turn it off?"

"Nah, how do I turn it up?" Eddie asks, messing with the buttons and dials inside of the car before Kirby can give him an answer.

After an hour of silence from Kirby, Eddie snaps slightly at the lack of conversation.

"I know you can talk, so why the fuck have you given me nothing but silence? Did I offend you somehow? What have I done?" Eddie asks, or rather, demands.

Kirby stays silent, pulling up at a new hotel, or more accurately motel, and parking.

"The fuck are we doin' here?"

"Eddie, if we stayed at the hotel we were at last night Damian would know. If we stay here, no one except us knows." She explains softly, her tone like a mother dealing with an unruly child.

"Oh... smart move," Eddie mumbles, "Well, when we get a room you gotta pretend that ya datin' me."

"Beth y uffern [What the hell]? I'm not... why the fuck would I do that?" Kirby stammers, her eyes wide and her eyebrows raised as far as they can go.

"Beth... what? Because ya have ta, or else people might get suspicious." Eddie shrugs, getting out of the car and opening Kirby's door before she even realises he's on her side of the car.

"But why?"

"But why," Eddie whines mockingly, "Let me put you in my shoes for a second, kid. Guy of my age rolls up at a shady, cheap-lookin', motel with a young, pretty lookin', gal like you, are ya gettin' the picture?"

"Oh," Kirby gasps, "I see... I am not, you know, a red light special, so to speak."

"A red light special? Like the TLC song?"

"Yeah," Kirby whispers as she walks beside Eddie, "I like 'em attentive and I like 'em in control, you know what I mean?" She chuckles softly.

Eddie shakes his head as he chuckles, getting his suitcase out of the trunk, before heading to the front desk, and getting the first available room.

The room's small, bathed in pink light from the sunlight streaming through the, still drawn, curtains. Kirby heads to the bathroom and stops in her tracks, in front of her is a small room, barely lit from the pink lightbulb above her head, she turns around and blocks Eddie's way into the bathroom.

"What's up with you? Need me to leave while ya piss or somethin'?" He grunts, raising an eyebrow as he takes in the bright pink of Kirby's cheeks, her scar almost managing to blend into her skin for once.

"Edward, we have a problem." She manages to squeak out.

"Problem? What sorta problem?"

Kirby moves, allowing Eddie to see the heart-shaped bathtub and the, intentional, pink lighting, he chuckles for a moment, then his brain kicks into gear and stops him mid-laugh.

"Oh fuck, there ain't a shower in there?" He asks, the grin dropping from his face.

She shakes her head, "I like some excitement and I like a man that goes." She teases as she walks over to Eddie, jokingly blowing him a kiss before taking her car keys off him, heading to grab her bags from the trunk.

"Now is not the time to quote that song!" He calls after her.

When Kirby returns, Eddie's outside on the balcony, smoking a cigarette and mumbling, what Kirby can only assume is, either rap lyrics or his thoughts to himself.

"You alright, Eddie?" She asks softly as she walks out onto the balcony next to him, "you don't have to put that out now I'm here, you know."

"You got that song stuck in my head, kid, you've got me mumblin' that shit to myself."

"I've got you mumbling Red Light Special to yourself? I guess there are worse songs to think about having sex to... not that you're thinking of having sex with me or anything. God no, why would you want to, I mean, look at me, I'm no man's first choice." Kirby rambles on quietly, her cheeks gradually getting redder as her brain screams at her to shut up.

"Hey kid, you're as pink as that bathtub," Eddie chuckles, patting her shoulder and pulling her into a side hug, "If I were thinkin' of fuckin' ya, I would at least get to know ya first."

"Don't mess with my head, Eddie." She grumbles.

"Or else you'll?" he teases.

"I'll steal your phone, call your mother and explain to her, that her son's making a young lady very uncomfortable."

"Don't you dare, my mother would destroy me with words alone, she'd take my head off with her teeth."

"Ooh, you've got a fiery mother too? Is she a red-head like mine or is she... What's the thing Billie says, Latina or Hispanic?"

"Puerto Rican, my father's Irish though."

"Fully Irish, or like half Irish half somethin' else?" She asks quietly, "My Da's half Irish, half Welsh."

"Fully Irish, I think, I'm not sure though, fairly sure he's part Hulk sometimes... and not smart Hulk, like first movie dumb Hulk."

"I get that. My Ma's half Scottish, so pissing her off is like pulling the pin on a human grenade."

"Ah, so that's where you get your fire in the ring from, you got both Irish and Scottish fire, so it's like a shotgun blast of 'Don't piss her off'."

"Sure... unless you're Damien, and have control over my career, and drag me away from my friends, just to see if working in America will work out."

"Oh really? You wanna talk about that?"

"Yeah, or at least the friends I, used to have, Mike, Ashkii, and Yoshi. Ash always had this joke that hanging out with me and Yoshi meant he was 'hanging with the video game girls'. Yoshi would always tell him he was an idiot for saying things like that." She smiles faintly.

"And what about Mike?"

"Me and Mike... we were as close as a guy and girl can be without dating. People would joke that he was Viscera's son, and I looked like Mideon's daughter, and we were gonna be the next Ministry of Darkness. I managed him for a while, tried to train him and get him to below three-hundred pounds, but nothing ever worked... in a way it was part of his charm, a guy that didn't care about impressing me with his physique, no rippling abs or striking bodybuilder poses as I walked by in the gym, just... playing Reggae music and singing along as he watched me put together that night's plan for after the show."

"Sounds like a great friend." Eddie mumbles, rubbing her back to reassure her, holding her closer when she starts to tear up.

"And then one day, Damien decided he wanted me to become 'Gluttony' and my uncles agreed, a seven-to-one vote stripped me, and my Da, of power over my career..." she takes a shaky breath in, wiping her eyes with the palms of her hands, "...I never wanted to be 'Gluttony', I thought it was horrible as a concept. Luring men who were considered 'out of shape' with the power of overindulgence in the consumable... I would never harm anyone's feelings intentionally and yet there I was, night after night, making jokes at my former best friend's expense, no wonder he kicked me out of our flat. I ended up moving back in with my parents, because I knew if I got a new place I couldn't pay the rent, I... I fucked up through no fault of my own." She whispers, her voice hoarse.

Eddie finishes his cigarette and leads Kirby inside, sitting her on the bed and holding her close, whispering small attempts at reassuring phrases to her.

"I'm sorry, you probably think I'm a wreck or something." She murmurs, only to be met with a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"You're not a wreck, you're a kid, who grew up in the wrestling world and never learnt how... tough, the business could be because your dad protected you. How about, I go get us lunch in the car, you stay here and rest. I'll be back before you wake up from your nap, I promise."

"You promise you're not just leaving forever?"

Eddie takes her face in his hands, although rough, the feeling is quite gentle, "I promise on my mother's eyes" He whispers.

After Eddie leaves, Kirby undresses down to her underwear, an (unintentionally) sexy black lacy bra with a pair of TMNT boxer shorts, every one of her tattoos and scars on display for only her to see, and potentially any security cameras placed in the room.

True to his word, Eddie returns before Kirby wakes up, setting out the Chinese food and the small table, almost intentionally like a first date, the two seats parallel to each other, he curses under his breath when he hears her let out a gentle yawn.

"I promise you it's not what it looks like!" He blurts out, his cheeks turning pink momentarily.

"It looks like a conversation set up, two chairs opposite each other, food... perhaps a pint of Guinness? Maybe a can of beer?" She shrugs, getting up before her brain catches up to her body.

"Well, it's not everyday I see a sight like that," Eddie chuckles as Kirby reaches for her discarded t-shirt, bending down and unwittingly giving Eddie the 'perfect view' of her cleavage, "If you want me let me know it." He winks.

"Did you just-"

"Quote Red Light Special, yup."

"Oh thank fuck, I thought your dick had made you go on auto-pilot to flirt with me."

"You don't have a lot of experience with men, do ya?"

"Wrestling them, yes. Socialising with them, no." She admits sheepishly.

"Well, usually a guy will tell a girl they like them, either by actually sayin' somethin' or their body will tell the girl, I think you know how that stuff works though."

"Oh trust me, I have seen plenty of jean crotches being adjusted or covered by men."

"See, jeans can hide it. Just get baggy enough jeans and the problem sorts itself out. Sweatpants, however, they give everything away." Eddie explains, sitting on the edge of the bed.

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