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grad603scarletttetleyjones · 1 year

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Week 1: Speaker Research

Verena Gerlach, Johnson Witehira, and Nadine Chahine

The Audience for this paper will primarily be typographers, or designers/design students.

The speakers at Typografika are: Verena Gerlach; Johnson Witehira; Nadine Chahine; Carol Twombly; Joseph Churchward; Veronica Burian; Jessica Hische; Tobias Frere-Jones.

Verena Gerlach

Verena Gerlach is a German typographer. As well as designing typefaces, she designs book covers for publisher Hatje Cantz. Much of her work is inspired by her home city, Berlin. For instance, Gerlach and Ole Schafer's typeface "FF City Street" is based on signage from East Berlin, before the fall of the wall, which is now largely disappeared from the streets. With the typeface, Gerlach wanted to "preserve the impression and excitement of (the time following the fall of the Berlin Wall) in the city."

Sources: Verena Gerlach Designer Profile, Font Shop; Before and After East met West, Eye Magazine, Winter 2009. BITS10, Verena Gerlach Profile.

Above: Verena Gerlach (Image: Marc Eckardt). This photo is suitable for my brochure because it is a simple headshot, so it will be easier to pair with other photos than a colour picture from a different angle. Also, the photographer is named, so I can credit it in my brochure.

Below: a typeface from the FF City Street project.

Below: Some of Gerlach's book designs. I notice she uses mostly sans serif typefaces. She also uses a lot of hard-cornered, angular typefaces (such as in the 'chamber sans' cover, middle left). Most of her work pairs bold, simple type with painterly images that take up the whole page- I wonder if this is to do with her personal style or the briefs she has to work to?

Johnson Witehira

Johnson Witehira (Ngāti Hinekura, Ngāi Tū-te-auru, Ngāti Haua) is a New Zealand designer and artist. His work focuses on bringing Māoritanga into the mainstream, and decolonising art and design spaces. He has created project digital artworks to be shown in Times Square, and collaborated with the likes of Microsoft, Auckland International Airport, and Waka Kotahi (NZ Transport). He developed the first Māori-specific typeface, Rangatira, which he says "reaffirms Māori ideas about the world and stakes a claim to the printed page."

Sources: Johnson Witehira Studio, https://www.johnsonwitehira.studio; Johnson Witehira (Semi Permanent) https://semipermanent.com/profiles/johnson-witehira; Johnson Witehira: Bringing Māori design into the mainstream (Stephenson, S. (2019). Stuff) https://www.stuff.co.nz/entertainment/arts/114703792/johnson-witehira-bringing-mori-design-into-the-mainstream; How the First Typeface Designed for the Māori Community is Changing the Way New Zealand Understands its Own Cultural Identity (Andersen, M. (2017). AIGA) https://eyeondesign.aiga.org/the-first-typeface-designed-specifically-for-the-maori-community-is-changing-how-new-zealand-views-its-own-cultural-identity/

Above: Johnson Witehira. (Image: Mark Tantrum)

Below: Witehira's typeface, Whakarare. Johnson said it was challenging to create a typeface that "resonated with Māori design... without using stereotypical elements". The typeface is narrow and tall, and features curving, sheared serifs which create a strong directional flow in the typeface.

Above: Whakaiti, a font of Whakarare. Whakaiti means to belittle or make small. Maybe this name was given to this font because it is a thinner weight (hence 'make small'?).

Below: Māoriland, an interactive artwork/game about the arrival of Pākehā, exhibited in Wellington City Gallery. Johnson uses typical Video Game typography (sans serif, pixelated, all uppercase) and cartoon characters, combined with Māori/Colonial imagery to establish the intellectual neighbourhood of the work.

Nadine Chahine

Nadine Chahine is a Lebanese typographer who specialises in Arabic type, creating original Arabic typefaces as well as Arabic counterparts to existing Latin typefaces. She is currently based in Germany, where she holds the title of Arabic Specialist at Monotype (formerly Linotype). She designed the arabic companion to Helvetica, and her typeface 'Koufiya' was the first to be designed simultaneously in Arabic and Latin alphabets by the same person. With her work, she aims to create a bridge between Arabic and Latin type forms, and to unify Arabic calligraphy and Arabic type, which is comparatively underdeveloped. This desire to find common ground is influenced by Chahine's political views, which formed as a result of common of age during the Lebanese Civil War; "In my work I deal with opposing entities that are very different from one another... You do not need to make one into the other to establish a dialogue and allow them to live in harmony. This is political; this is not type design."

Sources: Nadine Chahine (Chahine, N. and Smithshuijzen Abefares, H. Khatt Foundation). https://www.khtt.net/en/page/443/nadine-chahine; Reputations: Nadine Chahine (Chahine, N, Chanda, S. & Reynolds, A.L. (Summer 2017). Eye Design). https://www.eyemagazine.com/feature/article/reputations-nadine-chahine

Above: Nadine Chahine (Image: Suki Dhanda & Anna Lisa Reynolds)

Below: Koufiya, one of Chahine's most notable typefaces. The typeface comes in Arabic and Latin, and has a regular and a bold font. The arabic is based on 7th century AD Kufi styles. It's characterised by open counters and a consistent baseline. (MyFonts) The latin is serif and, like the arabic, has a rounded, curved feel (note the rounded corners and upward flick of the serifs in both alphabets).

Below: Hamra Str., an Arabic typeface designed by Chahine as part of a weekend-long font marathon in 2014. The typeface has a thick stroke and low contrast between fatter and thinner strokes.

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captainofthefallen · 4 years

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All right here we go. I’ve played round 1 for all of them and started on round 2, time to introduce my Wayhaven girls. All were made with this picrew

@queen-scribbles and @haledamage because you asked for it :P

Top left: Julia Greer. She was my first, and of course for that reason I forgot to check her stats at the end so I don’t actually know what they are. She’s certainly the quietest of the bunch, more heart than mind, and I think her top professional stat was knowledge/deduction. She romanced Nate and there was pining and it was sweet and adorable. Also she’s the closest to Rebecca, warm and forgiving all around, and understands and appreciates that Rebecca was just trying to protect her all this time.

Top right: Camille Bishop. She’s the stubborn one. So naturally she romanced Adam (he’s definitely my favorite so far that is some absolutely Delicious repression and denial). More mind than heart, her top professional stat is combat, and mostly by the book (though I think a lot of that comes from her wanting to be in charge of her own case, damn it.) She is in almost as much denial about the feelings as Adam is but not quite as much. She’s the most distant I managed to be from Rebecca (which, due to feeling bad for being mean to fictional characters, is approximately ‘weren’t close when she was growing up, but she appreciates that Rebecca is trying; she was angry about the secrets at first, largely because it was preventing her from doing her job, but she appreciates that Rebecca’s trying to make it up to her and recognizes that it’s really difficult for her.)

Bottom left: Piper Sato. I also forgot to screenshot her stats because I’m a fool, but she’s also heart-focused. Her top skill is people, so naturally she took one look at Mason and went ‘challenge accepted.’ She’s still developing a little bit in terms of details, and just by nature of that particular romance her character had to shift around a little bit (she definitely gives as good as she gets, I forget what the technical term is for that ingame) but the general idea was ‘heart of gold with a really tough exterior.’ Chooses to be kind because she knows firsthand the world isn’t. She’s pretty close to Rebecca as well, though she wasn’t during her youth, and there’s still a bit of broken trust there that’s being repaired, but she’s certainly making an effort and having an easier time of it than Camille.

Bottom right: Nadine Reynolds. Disaster nerd lesbian. Preface: I played Julia and Camille as bi, and I got way too attached to Farah. I do really like Felix, but I wanted to romance Farah and I wanted a chance to see the full girl squad, hence Nadine. (I’ll probably play her as bi in the future tho, I love Adam and Nate too much). Definitely mind-focused, I went full science nerd with this one. Awkward as all get out, cannot flirt to save her life (fortunately Farah is good enough at it for the both of them). Not very good with people (minimal filter), even worse with combat, but she’s really good at seeing connections and acting on them, though that often comes across as Reckless and Dangerous. After the initial shock, she was very excited to learn the truth, bombarded people with questions as much as she could, and was only bummed Rebecca didn’t tell her sooner so she could get a head start learning all there is to know. She’s not quite as close with Rebecca, but it’s more because she’s easily distracted by her work than holding a grudge. She’s glad to know the truth, and when she actually notices, she’s grateful Rebecca is trying.

#the wayhaven chronicles #here we go kids #i'm already trash #i've played camille twice #i'm about to start julia again and then i'll do piper #nadine was much easier to establish than the others #so i'm not actually sure if there's anything in her run i'd change now that i know her better #but we'll see #adam is my favorite romance so far just cuz... that's my Type #also the rivals-to-lovers is delicious #but yeah anyway #highly recommend #top notch romances all around #julia greer #camille bishop #piper sato #nadine reynolds

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s1cparvism4gna · 4 years

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I Like You A Lot

WARNINGS: cursing and violence

Pairings: Chloe Frazer x Nadine Ross x OC

Tags: @desertvvitch , @courtenbae

Chapter 11

Sunny’s POV

We’d gone through another fort, tucked in a lakebed this time. We ended up going there first instead of the mountain. It was closer than we thought. This job seemed absolutely keen on testing my patience. I’m not sure if anyone really has noticed, but me and heights are not friends. Not even in the slightest. Try as I might, I just couldn’t deal with the fact that one day I might fuck up and fall into the unknown. But with Chloe’s coaching, I managed to be able to climb a couple of cliffs without a massive panic attack. Nadine, who I thought would tease me the most, was actually the most nurturing if you could believe it. And once again, we’d fought through a small clan of insurgents. Afterwards, we found another puzzle, just like the first. With the disc in its slot, I was able to jumble about pieces that formed into a bow and arrow this time. A little more difficult though as the pieces seemed to rotate around each other. But I handled it. It was easier than most puzzles I was subjected to solving. Just like before, the puzzle’s panel flipped, displaying a carved image of Parashurama and bars jutted out from the sides. Knowing what to do, Nadine and Chloe went to turn the crank.

“Alright let's do this.” Nadine said as I took a few steps back but Chloe stopped her.

“Now, now- hold on. What’s to say it’s water again? What if it’s like… fire or something this time?” She asked with a straight face. Nadine narrowed her eyes at her and shook her head.

“You’re messing with me.” Nadine said cautiously.

“Am I?” Chloe asked with a smirk. Nadine stared at her a bit longer before Chloe’s smile cracked. “I’m totally messing with you.” She chuckled. This woman had a talent for making lies sound factual. A talent much like a certain Drake I knew. She could deep fry a rat and tell me it was chicken and I’d believe her. The more I drew these similarities to each other, the more insecure I became. She was just like him…. just his type. My heart shattered at the thought of them being together again. I needed to see him. All I wanted to do was punch him for being an idiot. I sighed and began to light myself a cigarette as they turned the cranked. Again, water began to swell beneath us and burst out of the gutter in front of the platform. Another waterfall began to form in the relief that could be seen from all distances.

“Hm. I’m a little disappointed it isn’t fire.” Chloe said, elbowing Nadine in her side. A small smile threatened to pull on her lips before she began watching the waterfall. I could sense a bit of frustration from her.

“The Hoysala went to an absurd amount of trouble to hide the tusk.” She said, pacing back and forth behind her. Chloe shrugged and put her binoculars away.

“Welp. The Tusk was the symbol of Hoysala dominance. Representing their wealth and their might…” Chloe explained.

“Like a trophy… The Persians definitely would’ve wanted that.” I mumbled loud enough for her to hear. She snapped and finger gunned me for a split second before zoning out again.

“My dad always thought that the tusk was something even greater though…” She hummed.

“Wait. Your dad was after the tusk?” Nadine asked. The story just kept growing.

“Oh, my dad was obsessed with it.” Chloe said, her brows crinkled together in what seemed like resentment. I readjusted myself against a pillar as I listened to her talk. “All our money wasted on fruitless expeditions…”

“Heard that one before…” Nadine seemed to understand what that felt like. Me on the other hand… I only wished my dad had left on account of some great adventure. But no. He just couldn’t stand being around me anymore. I couldn’t relate. Nadine nodded her head as she began to piece Chloe’s story together. This was the most she’d ever revealed herself. To anyone. “So what came of it?” She asked. Chloe looked about aimlessly as she scrambled her brain for the answer. But the truth…

“I don’t know…..” she sighed as she tilted her head, her voice dripping in disappointment. She chuckled as she began to reminisce on the shitty times. “Well he sent me and my mum away…. Said it was no longer safe… and off to Australia we went….” she sighed uncomfortably. I frowned and hung my head, pulling in my cigarette and exhaling smoke. “And now here I stand….. on the outskirts of Halebidu…. that’s pretty funny.” It was crazy how life worked. How her father could never get close to this and yet Chloe has gotten closer than he ever could. If anyone deserves to find this thing, it was definitely her.

“Well at least your accent makes sense now…” Nadine chuckled softly. “Frazer’s not exactly an Indian surname either…”

“It was my mum’s.” Chloe said simply as she pulled her map to mark it up again.

“Speaking of accents… I’ve been meanin’ to ask you, Nadine… What in the fuck is your accent?!” I asked, trying to break the ice. I’d suddenly gotten tired of holding so much animosity. Nadine burst into a giggle.

“South African. Yours?”

“Texan. Nothin’ real special. I don’t speak in cursive like y’all.” I chuckled, pulling on my cigarette. Nadine suddenly giggled a little.

“Cursive. Wow.” Chloe laughed. I patted her on the shoulder on my way out.

“Let’s get goin’.” I grinned.

The way down was much easier than the way up. A passageway that wasn’t there before opened up and led us right to where we parked the 4x4. We began driving so as to not waste any time. I looked at Nadine in the side view mirror and her light eyes seemed to wander all over the place as she thought.

“It’s interesting. I get why Asav wants the tusk now. I thought maybe he just wanted it for the money like us.”

“He’ll use it to rally people to his cause. Wave it in the government’s face. Just like all the other times.”

“The other times? This happened before?” I asked in confusion.

“Oh yeah. Ever since the young king lost to the Persians. Everyone’s wanted to lay claim to it. To this land.”

“I thought this was just a treasure hunt...” Nadine commented.

“It is. Let men like Asav fight over it. It’s none of our concern— SHIT!”

Suddenly, a ball of fire seemed to fly right by us and land on the rocky wall near us, causing a huge explosion. The car bounced back a little from the force but it was fine nonetheless. Posted up on the ruins was another troop of men, taking deadly aim and firing at us from a distance with what looked like a China Lake. Mud kicked up at the spin of the wheels and the engine growled as Chloe whipped the vehicle about. She powered through as another one flew near but missed us and hit the ground before us. Nadine and I pulled our guns and began firing away as cover. Bullet sprayed across the field as we traded shots. And almost a little too easily, Chloe managed to get us out of there quickly and unharmed. “She who drives away, lives another day, I say!” She chuckled as I placed a hand over my heart to calm myself. I still hadn’t relaxed from the last fight. Another bout of adrenaline began to surge and I groaned. This job was a tease. I wanted action; I wanted to blow shit up, stab something, knock a couple heads. And every time I got the littlest taste, it was soon over. It was frustrating really. I just wanted to take some stress out on these guys and it wasn’t happening!

“You do realize fighting wars was my concern for a time.” Nadine mentioned.

“You did it for money though.” I pointed out.

“Usually.”

“And what about for Asav? What was that for?” I asked. She scoffed.

“Definitely a cash grab. Hardly worth the trouble.” She said. Chloe and I squealed like the couple of girls we were.

“Why do it then?” Chloe asked.

“I needed to establish my rep. So I figured I’d start with the worst of the bunch.”

“Guess from there, there’s nowhere to go but up!” I said with sarcasm. The girls both laughed. For once, the three of us were getting along. And that was good. I couldn’t help but wonder for how long though… We hadn’t run into any real trouble and there was no word from Sam yet. ‘I hope you’re okay…’ I thought for a moment. On one hand, I hoped he was safe and unharmed. On the other, I wanted to beat him up myself. For the meantime, the three of us were handling things just fine on our own. It was nice to be working with women for a change. We were only missing Elena...

For a while we began talking about everything from how we all got our start in the Life, what we’d found, where we’d been… At this point I found out Chloe had never been to the states which was insane! I promised I’d let her visit and that I’d show her around San Francisco. I even thought to invite Nadine if we managed to be cool by the end of this. we’d taken out more insurgents and just like that, we were on our way to the last puzzle. The fort we passed through to get there though, I hated. We had to swim through the lake to get by. Not only were my clothes wet but now so was my hair and my cigarettes… I couldn’t stress it enough: I hated it. Afterwards, the job managed to get a bit more exciting. Things were looking up. Inside a dark and musty room was a newer puzzle; statues that seemed to move with each pillar we stepped on.

“Well I’ll be go to hell… That’s elaborate.” Chloe said as the pillars rose from the ground at the turn of a crank. I stared at the mechanism and then longer at the statue. It was towering and golden, shaped like a warrior with a red jewel stuck in its chest. The faint sunlight that drew in seemed to make it glitter. In its hand was one massive axe. It was old but I was damn sure that thing still worked. Within three steps, the statue had risen its axe and swiped across. I could feel the wind from its quick motions from where I stood. Nervously, I hopped back the way I came in, looking at my path again to make sure it was correct. If I let it hit me, I’d be more than dead.

“Oh fun… Felt that one go by...” I grumbled as Chloe rubbed my shoulders.

“You can do this!” She told me with a fake tone of encouragement.

“Yeah… I got it…” I said, absolutely unsure if I really did. Nadine winced as she looked at the contraption.

“Are you sure you can solve that?” She asked me. I nodded as I ran my fingers through my wet curls and adjusted my pants. I bounced on my toes and shook off the nerves that began to prick at me like needles. Chloe made a face and placed a hand on top of my head.

“I can do this for you if you want, Sun—”

“No, no. I got this…..” I said, eyeballing it a little longer. Then suddenly it clicked for me. I could see the path. “Yeah…. yeah I got this.” I said, jumping onto the first pillar. I was able to get through it and the girls could walk over the pillars without the threat of a swinging statue. On the other side was a cliff and a beautiful view of the mountainous terrain, topped with fog and colorful trees. I watched the look on Nadine’s face as Chloe stopped to marvel at the sight. I punched her in the arm subtly with a teasing smile and she averted her gaze, shaking her head. The three of us ended up taking a selfie in front of the pretty green mountains, bunny fingers, goofy faces and all. It was nice.

As we followed the cliff into another dingy room, we’d come upon another puzzle. Just like the first but with more statues and increasingly more difficult. I sighed.

“Shall I take this one?” Chloe asked me. I shook my head.

“Lemme pull my weight. I got it.” I said. Throughout the trip, I barely contributed anything useful other than brute force. This was the time that I got to actually do something. To prove my worth to the team. I had to just nut up and do it. Although I was still pissed at him, I could hear Sam’s voice in my head. ‘Don’t think about it. Just do it.’ I heard him say, thinking about the way his thumbs would rub over the bone of my hips in comfort. I put a hand on my hip for a moment and took a deep breath before I turned the crank, watching the statues set and the pillars rise from the floor. This time there was one golden warrior statue and two silvers with a blue jewel in its chest. I jumped out to the first pillar and all three statues moved into their ready positions. It was harrowing almost. One wrong move and that was my whole head. I worked out a pattern halfway through until suddenly I had gotten stuck. I’d forgotten which way I’d just come from and I was planted right in front of a statue that was ready to swing at me. I was fucked. Royally. “Um…. g-guys!” I cried out nervously. “I fucked it…. I’m lost!”

“What do you mean ‘you’re lost’?!” Chloe shouted.

“I mean I’m lost, bitch! I fucked up! I don’t remember which pillar I jumped from!” I started to panic, pressing my hands to my cheeks and looking around me. I couldn’t figure out what was next. Surprisingly, Nadine was the calm in the storm.

“That’s okay! I was watching. Just give me a second…” I heard Nadine shout to me. Now my life was in her hands. I could only pray that she didn’t have the hesitation that I did. I crouched to hug my knees as I watched the two women bicker about something; I was too far away to really hear what about. After at least twenty minutes went by, I chewed on my lip anxiously as my mind began to overthink and wonder about all the people I loved in my life. Sweet, sweet Erik. My truest and oldest friend. I’ve treated him horrible the past year. And through it all he still loved me. With every flaw. Kitty Cat… the little sister I’d always wanted. Sure she was a little hard headed; stubborn, mouthy, and maybe even a little bit of an asshole! But I loved her and took care of her to the best of my abilities. Natey; the man who brought me into a better life and took me to places I could only ever dream of. His lovely wife Elena, Chloe, Sully, even Nadine… And Sam. God damn that man. The man who made me suddenly feel and want to feel again. I was then ripped from my depressive thoughts as I heard my name being called from a distance. I stood up and leaned forward, hoping to hear them better.

“Move to your left and jump backwards!” I heard Nadine shout. I did as I was told and the statue before me just missed me. The three of us screamed as it’s axe swiped by, cutting through the air. That gave me three more moves to make. I grinned and looked back at the two.

“Alright, I think I got it now!” I shouted back. I figured out how to get around the third statue and completed the puzzle. The girls were able to jump through safely once again. As soon as Chloe got off her platform, she ran to hug me tightly. It startled me but eventually I settled into it.

“I thought we’d lost you.” She grunted. She hugged me tighter and squished my face with her hands. “Lord knows what I’d tell anybody if anything ever happened to you.”

“That I died being dope. That’s all. That’s the announcement.” I joked, making her giggle. Nadine smiled to herself as she watched Chloe embrace me. After I managed to pry myself from Chloe’s arms, I walked over to Nadine and stuck a hand out to her.

“Thanks… for gettin’ me outta there.” I mumbled. She just smiled and shook my hand.

“Now we’re even.” She said simply. Suddenly, I could hear Chloe groaning in the next room. We ran inside to see what the problem was. When I did, I just about wanted to cry. Another puzzle. Five statues. Three gold, two silver, more nerves.

“Please tell me this is all.” I huffed.

“We’ll watch this time. Just in case you get stuck again.” Nadine told me reassuringly. I nodded at her and turned the crank. I stood at the starting point and the gate dropped down for me to begin. Each pillar in front of a statue made me sweat. Every time seemed like a reminder that my life was in this thing’s grasp. Though this one took a little longer, with help, I got through it. I stood at the end triumphantly and tiredly.

“Well done, Spurrs. Let’s hope there’s not another.” Nadine told me, patting my back.

“PLEASE NO!” I exclaimed.

“You mean you didn’t like it?” Chloe asked sarcastically. I made a face at her and she chuckled. “Shall we?” She gestured to the stone steps before us.

“Fuckin’ please.” I said, starting up the steps to get away from the death trap I’d just completed.

Just like the others, the last jigsaw puzzle was under a stone gazebo, overlooking the mountains with a clear view of the relief. The puzzle was like the last; the pieces rotated around one another. But I solved the puzzle to show the image of an axe. The panel flipped to reveal a carved likeness of Shiva and the crank bars sprung from its sides like the others.

“Let’s give it a turn then.” Chloe said grabbing one end and Nadine grabbing the other. I stepped back to watch them turn it when suddenly Chloe’s bar snapped and she fell face first into the grass and moss. I covered my mouth and giggled loudly.

“I told you it was dangerous.” Nadine smiled, helping her up. “Are you hurt?” She asked, giving her a once over. Chloe blinked at her a moment as she placed a hand on her cheek, checking for bumps or bruises. She smiled back and pushed her bangs off of her face.

“Just my dignity.” She cracked. It was like watching a shitty Rom-Com. My heart swelled watching the two of them. Chloe was still clueless but I was sure she’d get the hint eventually. I had faith. They both shared Nadine’s bar and pushed together to turn the crank. We already knew what to expect by then. The rumble, the noises, the gutter. And just like that, the waterfall in the relief was completed. The three of us stood at the edge to admire what we’d gone all over creation to finish. In the corner of my eye, I saw Chloe peek at Nadine from her binoculars with a smirk.

“Y’know… you’re pretty good at treasure hunting.” She told her. Nadine smiled to herself and glanced at the mountain.

“I’m a quick study.” She answered proudly, crossing her arms. Chloe pulled out this small golden piece she’d been constantly playing with since the job started. She tossed it in her hand in thought.

“One question though…” she began. Nadine turned her head and batted her long lashes. “I reckon you could pretty much do anything you want. Why are you so keen to get Shoreline back?” She asked. The question seemed to catch Nadine off guard. She tilted her head like she’d just asked the dumbest question.

“Seriously?” She asked. Chloe just nodded, awaiting an answer. I was rather curious myself. As efficient as she was, as talented as she was, why did she want some bullshit mercenary corp back? She began listing reasons off with her fingers. “My partner turns my own men against me. My lieutenant makes off with the bounty. Sunny got away.” I frowned as she pointed at me. Libertalia was a sticky situation for everybody. But she continued. “Nathan and Samuel Drake get off scot free, and you wanna know what I want Shoreline back?” I winced at the mention of the boys. There would always be that sore spot between us when it came to them. Chloe narrowed her eyes at her, chewing on her lip before answering solidly.

“Yeah.” She said. Nadine looked at her a moment, readying her mouth for the answer. Whatever it was, it seemed like it was still hard for her to accept.

“It was on my watch.” She replied somberly. She wrinkled her brows and hugged herself as she looked out at the foggy mountaintops. “I lost it on my watch.” In a way, I understood. She had a responsibility and it got out of hand. I didn’t exactly make her job easy for her either. I sort of felt bad for that.

“I’m sorry?” I mumbled. I wasn’t really sure what I was apologizing for but I felt like it needed to be said.

“‘I’m sorry’?” Nadine repeated, narrowing her eyes at me.

“Yeah. For what it’s worth, I think you’re a kick ass chick. And I’m sorry things didn’t pan out well for you.”

“You were one of the reasons it didn’t.” She said.

“Yeah… but to be fair, you shot me.”

“And then your bloody boyfriend almost shot me!” She yelled.

“He is NOT my boyfriend!” I snapped. This was what I got for trying to be nice.

“Quit lying to yourself, Spurrs! This whole trip, you’ve done nothing but mope about something you claim doesn’t bother you!” She snapped, turning around to point an aggressive finger at me. Chloe groaned audibly and continued to play with her gold piece as Nadine threw a bitch fit because things hit too close to home. “My advice: stop mucking around with some guy who screws other people to hurt you. Just because you and I are square, doesn’t mean I don’t still have it in for him. He better be lucky he’s not here today because the second I get the chance, he’s dead. And I mean that.” She seethed. I snarled at her protectively. She’d have to go through me before I let that happen. Before I could even respond, she turned her attention back to Chloe, clearly annoyed.

“What is that thing you keep playing with?!” She snapped. Chloe smirked, amused by her annoyance.

“It’s my ‘stress toy’.” She answered. “It showed up in the mail a few weeks after we got to Australia…”

“Nice. Can we go now? As far as we know we’re ahead of this guy…” I said, my eyes never leaving Nadine’s. It seemed as if whatever animosity that was between us would never be resolved. As long as I was in alliance with the Drake brothers, she’d never truly reconcile anything with me. For the moment, that was fine. I wasn’t looking for new friends and I didn’t need them. But like the professional I tried my hardest to be, I pushed it aside to get the job done. As we headed back to the car, I listened to Chloe give her a short and sweet pep talk on how it was okay to fail. Similar to a talk I’d given Sam in Libertalia. At this point, I just wanted to get the job over with. I was tired, hungry, damp from water and sweat, it was hot, and I was worried. Suddenly, Chloe’s phone began to beep. The fact that she even remotely got a signal here was impressive. The expression on her face, not so much. She looked at me before fixing her face as Nadine turned around. What had happened? Was it Sam? I could exactly ask as we were keeping him away from Nadine. So I left it alone until later. With that, we got back to the 4x4 and set out for the relief in the mountain.

Read more on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26555698/chapters/64735600

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arcanalogue · 5 years

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Love is on my mind, always. May I ask you and the cards, where do I go from here? As the song goes, this isn’t were I intended to be. Is there any advice on how to move forward and in which direction? I have been static and stagnant. How can I muster the courage to follow my heart? Am I looking in the wrong direction?

A lot of questions, the answers to which may braid together neatly or flap about in different directions like kite tails, we shall see!

While the story told in a three card reading isn’t always a linear, left-to-right one, sometimes it’s exactly that way. This seems to be one of those clear instances, with the King of Swords establishing himself as a protagonist – an anti-hero, more like. (Interesting, isn’t it, that he starts out “looking in the wrong direction”?)

The court figures are complex, because they show how our personal evolution affects our status and/or responsibilities, and how those in turn can affect the outcome of our evolution. As elements express themselves through us, they also color our impressions, our self-awareness, our decision-making. In conquering them, we are also conquered by them.

As such, the King of Swords represents the logical conclusion of walking a certain path in a certain way. The pursuit of self-knowledge is one of endless discernment, a winnowing that ironically reduces the scope of our inquiry. The more we learn, the more we can eliminate from our purview.

The higher you climb, the thinner the air, the more importance placed on your particular journey, which you’ve already invested so much in. And so, the King’s accomplishment gradually becomes his prison; his gradual discomfort within those constraints ends up contributing to his plight in ways he may not be aware of.

(One of the things I love about the Tarot, and why I think it’s a mistake for contemporary deck-makers to shift away from its traditional hierarchical structures, is that it contains such clear and nuanced warnings about the perils of these structures – a reminder that we’re always going to need. It introduces, and then smashes, the hierarchy. It defines, and then blurs, the gender binary.)

In this particular story, we see the King growing ever-more aware of his own burden, and grappling with how to get out from under it. Once the mind becomes aware of its own limitations, it aches to move beyond them – and it can, it truly can, but only by shedding the old form and taking on a new one.

The rational, progress-oriented Swords-mind bridles at the thought, because it seems like important ground will be lost. Having climbed so high, we resist the idea of starting over at the base of a new mountain.

And yet, on numerous occasions throughout life, that’s exactly where we end up.

This is particularly challenging for the King of Swords, whose experience has armed him to the teeth with tools to deflect unwanted information, to believe he can see more clearly than anyone from his high perch, and judge more impartially.

The story pictured above shows how awareness of certain burdens – including those instincts I just mentioned – contributes to a desire to lay them down, making way for sudden changes and fascinating new developments – “enlightenment” in the literal sense of the word.

The shift from Swords to Wands in our story tells me this: belief alone is enough for you to proceed with. There is a call to abandon much of what you’ve so painstakingly learned, realizing that much of it was situational, that your objectivity was an illusion. The mind will not willingly unmake itself; it remains shackled by trying only the things it can think of to try. True change demands us to move willingly toward the unknown.

This is the soul of love, my friend. It’s the quest to merge meaningfully with another entity – one which is strange to us, but grows tantalizingly familiar. Gradually we harmonize to a point where our movements are inseparable.

That is also the source of love’s pain – when the known recedes back into the unknown, or is banished to a place in our awareness that no longer tantalizes, conferring little pleasure.

A character in Tom Stoppard’s The Real Thing says: “I remember how it stopped seeming odd that, in biblical Greek, ‘knowing’ was used for ‘making love’…“Whosit knew so-and-so. Carnal knowledge. It’s what lovers trust each other with. Knowledge of each other, not of the flesh but through the flesh, knowledge of self, the real him, the real her, in extremis, the mask slipped from the face.”

That quote leapt out at me today in this essay, and its author also writes: “My relationship with Rachel didn’t last more than a year after I kissed Jean. But, then, my relationship with Jean didn’t last after I kissed Sandrine, and after her, Samantha, and Nancy, and Nadine. I kissed all of those women, each time knowing that I was betraying the woman before, but also hoping that somewhere, in one of these relationships, I would find the courage to let myself be known.” In this author’s case, she’s referring to her identity as a transgender woman, which she eventually embraced once she was with the right partner. However, there’s wisdom here for all of us who seek love while also seeking ourselves.

The King of Swords, the pinnacle of his suit, feels qualified to pursue that knowledge, perhaps even a bit entitled to it, because of everything he’s already invested in this quest. It is a peculiar irony of our existence that the opposite becomes true – the more we know, the harder it is for us to surrender to that which remains unknown.

The Wands cards encourage an elemental shift, hinting at the breakthroughs that await on the other side of that surrender. You do not need to know the answers to your questions, you just need to summon belief in your own beliefs; passion for your own passion; love for your own heart. Crawl out from under the need to know or explain or justify any of it. Love’s elusive nature can make it a challenging raison d'être, but hey – it’s still nobler and easier to break into than showbiz.

In other words, I think you should avoid letting these questions nag you, and simply focus on refining yourself as a human, as a lover, as an explorer of the unknown. Submitting to this without any investment in the outcome, you will find the freedom to transform into whatever’s underneath that is dying to break through and be known.

Whatever that may be, I guarantee you, someone will love it, love you, and the feeling of being truly known will unlock doors that you hadn’t tried to open in years, assuming they were sealed shut.

Thanks for giving me much to consider!

Have a tarot reading request or tarot-related question for Arcanalogue? Ask here. Tips accepted (but not required) via Venmo, @arcanalogue. Or support my Patreon? I’d love that.

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