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ryozaki21 · 10 months
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After You - N.JM
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1/4 diary of the heartbreakers
summary: ➸ ♡ Na Jaemin had it easy. Loved by everybody, the man of everyone's dream. He's a perfect mix of a charmer and a player. Girls begged to be his, and he loved every part of it. Life used to be so fucking perfect for him. Then comes you. You're like an old book, ink fading, cover tearing, but he swears you're worth the read. Before you, life was easy. After you? He wasn't so sure.
"Break my heart, and you'll only find yourself inside."
GENRE: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mature themes
WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, Language, Mental Illness, Drugs/Alcohol usage, Addiction, toxic!reader, fuckboy!Jaemin (but still a sweetheart)
WC: 19k (I got carried away, lol)
DISCLAIMER: This story is purely fanfiction. Only the names of the Idols are used, and does not reflect on them in real life. There's no way in any shape of form that they are like this in person, because I MADE IT UP. I don't personally know them. DO NOT STEAL / TRANSLATE / MODIFY. This is my work and I don't appreciate people stealing it. Thank you.
Enjoy reading! -ryo
//////////////////////
"Look who finally decides to show up," Jeno welcomed Jaemin with open arms, Haechan and Renjun following in pursuit.
"Come on, I just saw you guys about a week ago. Don't be dramatic." Jaemin loosened his tie, sat at the vacant seat beside Renjun.
"No Yeri today?" Haechan smirked, obviously mocking Jaemin.
"She has plans with her friends," Jaemin wants to shift the topic quickly, not wanting to be the center of attention for so long.
"Are you sure its not because she hates us?" Renjun looked at Jaemin with his brow raised.
"She hates everyone." Jaemin grabbed the flute glass in front of him as he saw the waiter come by with champagne.
"No offense, Jaemin, but I hate that her too." Haechan, eating the garlic bread. Jaemin rolled his eyes.
"Makes two of us." Jeno chimed in, drinking his champagne aswell. Jaemin didn't say anything, waiting for Renjun's addition to his girlfriend's hate train.
"All of us hate her, actually. Sorry man but your girl is literally the reincarnation of the devil." Renjun.
"You guys done? I know she isn't the best but she's still my girlfriend?" Jaemin, like the other times his friends tell him how horrible his girlfriend is, try to defend her even tho he knows that they're partly right.
"Yeah, we know. One of the mysteries even Sherlock Holmes can't fucking solve." Haechan chuckled. Jaemin let out a sigh and drank the champagne in one shot. He barely gets a break from Yeri, and when he does, his friends still mentions her name in every conversation they have.
"She disrespects everyone, literally went out with you just to show you off to her friends. I don't understand why you're still with her." Jeno rants, trying to make Jaemin understand. He doesn't mean to drag Yeri, but Jeno cannot understand how the likes of Jaemin, will go out with Yeri who treats him like shit.
"No shit, dude. Neither do I." Jaemin admitted, leaning back on his chair before dragging his hands through his hair.
"How about Karina? She's great, you went out with her a few times, right?" Haechan.
Jaemin, for the ninth time this night, rolled his eyes. "She moved to Paris."
"Joy? The girl you took to Haechan's birthday?" Renjun, pulling up a picture of Joy he searched on instagram, just to show to Jaemin.
"Engaged to Sungjae." Jeno answered that one, Sungjae being one of his acquiantances.
"Oh, I know this girl from Busan--"
"Can we not talk about my fucking love life?! Y'all are just stressing me out, God damn." Jaemin massaged his temples, just wanting a breather. Before he went here, he already had an argument with Yeri.
"Chill, man. Fine.. jeez. Just wanted you to know your options." Haechan looks away and shrugged his shoulders. To be fair, his intent was truly innocent. They just wanted their friend to live a happy life.
As per Jaemin's wish, they moved on and changed the topic to something else. After a few drinks, Jaemin started to let loose.
He wondered about a lot of things. One of which is on how he ended up here. Stuck in a relationship he doesn't really want anymore. Seeing his friends and how happy they are really hits something inside Jaemin. When will he find that? Will he even find that?
Just like the other nights Jaemin drinks himself to slumber, a few glasses in and he starts to think of something so dangerous yet so good. Something forbidden, something he would probably regret. He thinks of you.
Jaemin's greatest what if. You were like a fever dream, a memory he would cherish forever. No one can compare to the beauty hold. You were Jaemin's drug, so captivating, yet so vicious.
He wondered where you are. Are you doing fine? Are you happy?
Sometimes Jaemin hopes you still think of him. That his relevance in your life, although it was short, still lingers in your mind once in a while.
And the memories you and him had, even though it was temporary, Jaemin wishes it was enough for him to believe that you'll meet again.
Jaemin met a lot of pretty girls. All of them, actually. Yeri, despite her frowned upon attitude, was actually beautiful. That's what drove Jaemin to ask her out in the first place. He just wasn't aware of the other things that comes with it. No one can deny the beauty that Yeri holds, and even tho it contrasts his friends opinions, they know that Yeri is still one of the prettiest girl Jaemin had.
But was she the most gorgeous? No. Because there was you. They all fall behind, after you.
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
The first time he saw you was at the school's cafeteria. You're an art student which he could clearly tell from the messy pencil on your bun as you ate with a friend at the back of the canteen. He knew that friend, Jeonghan, because.. he might've slept with his sister. He still couldn't remember tho, he was stupidly drunk that time.
"Who's that with Jeonghan?" Jaemin asked, still his eyes not leaving your face. As corny as it sounds, everyone's faces blurred out when he saw you.
"That's Jiho's bestfriend? I think? Wait, isn't Jiho that one chick you banged last week?" Haechan, the resident insider was the one to answer. Jaemin mentally cursed himself. You're Jiho's bestfriend. Usually that doesn't matter to Jaemin but somehow he felt some sort of guilt into taking an interest with you. Inevitably, you'll know what happened with Jiho and Jaemin, and you'll definitely see Jaemin as this asshole who slept with your bestfriend.
"Everybody knows that he slept with her, dude." Jeno chimed in, smirking.
"More like, everybody heard." Renjun followed, which earned a hefty laugh from his group of friends. Usually, Jaemin would respond with a strong punch in the arm but he was still in a dilemma on how he should approach you without giving off an asshole vibe in him.
Jaemin came up with a plan. Not a good one, but still, a plan. He would casually pass the Arts building, specifically where you usually hang out which was at the Art studio at the top floor, (don't ask him how he found out-- he has his ways) and just ask you where the exit to the building is since he never really got around this part of the university.
His plan sounded good, and just to be assured, he asked Haechan. Which wasn't a very good choice but the way Haechan got around the girls in the university, he deserved some credit. In typical Lee Haechan way he responded, "That'd totally work, dude. I don't know how that would go wrong."
Well, Jaemin now know how it would go fucking wrong.
As the plan goes, he reaches the top floor of the building and walked towards the Art studio at 5pm, because according to his sources, you like to stay after class to do your project on the Art studio. Again, don't ask Jaemin how he got those information. Which is proven to be credible, because he did find you sketching on a canvas by yourself. He could hear a faint music playing on the studio as you sketch, which Jaemin could tell was a portrait of a lady.
He cleared his throat, as he opened the door. Just like in his script, he spoke,
"Hey, uh, excuse me? I've been finding the exit from this building and uhm, I just can't. Can you-- uhm," Okay, fine, Jaemin did fuck that one up. But how can he not, when you turned around so majestically with the golden sunray perfetcly hitting your face which gave Jaemin a full view of your beauty?
"Na Jaemin? What the hell are you doing here?" You stood up, walking towards the speaker and turned it off.
"You know me?" Jaemin asked a dumb question. Everybody knows who he is. He's a fucking famous-- wait, no, he's just famous for fucking. That's it.
"Jiho and all the other girls around this place can't stop talking about how big your dick is, so I'd like to think I'm familiar with you, yes." Sarcasm fit perfectly with you, Jaemin thought. Although, he did not expect you to be this harsh given your soft exterior, nonetheless, he still found you pretty.
"Uh, that's uhm-- not the point, I need to find the exit." Stick to the plan, stupid. Jaemin had thought.
What surprises him even more was your sudden burst of laughter. What's so funny? Embarassment started to fill Jaemin, finding the whole situation dumb and stupid. Why are you laughing at him? This is the first time Jaemin felt this. Usually, girls are all over him, why are you laughing at him like he's some stupid idiot?
"Do you realize that if you're trying to find the exit, you go down the building, not the top floor?" At that exact moment, Jaemin wanted to bury himself alive.
--
"Dude, I didn't think you would fumble this bad." Jeno couldn't hold his laughter after Jaemin told him what had occured in the Art studio. There was only Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin in the dorm today, Haechan was steering out of Jaemin's view eversince he received a threat from his friend, quote, 'I'm gonna burn your hair off your scalp, Lee Haechan'
"You just turned around and left? Are you serious?" Renjun was more like dumbfounded. He expected more from Jaemin, being infamous in their little friendgroup for being a lowkey manwhore. He could not believe Jaemin could act so-- foolish?
"I didn't know what to say or do, bro. This is Haechan's fault, fuck!" Jaemin looked like a prepubescent teen screaming into his pillow. A couple leg-flailing and he'd successfully portray a thirteen yearold boy.
"This one's on you. You know damn well Haechan could pull that shit off with his over confident ass. Whats with this girl anyways?" Jeno asked, with little to no care about whatever Jaemin answered. He already knew you were Jaemin's type.
"You know Jaemin and his thing for innocent girls, Jeno. Are you not with him for the last seven years?" Renjun stated, which Jeno just nodded and shrugged.
"But the way she shut you down, I wouldn't say she's too innocent." Jeno had the other two thinking. Yes, with your soft brown hair and cute features, especially your love for art, you look like the stereotypical good girl that captured Jaemin's eyes. But your encounter says otherwise. No good girl can resist Na Jaemin. Everybody knows that.
Na Jaemin, contrary to his friend's beliefs, is the recent most popular man in his school. All of them were, but every student that knows him, (which is everyone) Na Jaemin is number one in his little friendgroup. He's the perfect balance between a player and a charmer.
Nobody hated the guy, they all liked him. Had the title of Prom King for four consecutive years, and has a squeaky clean reputation. Oh, don't get him wrong tho, he's a manwhore, still. Its just that every girl he has been with doesn't have any bad thing to say about the guy. He's got a great dick and even better personality. Word got around that even guys wouldn't mind if he slept with their girlfriends. That's how loved Jaemin is around the campus. He has a way with words, that once Jaemin calls quits on a girl, that girl would even say "Thank you."
Jaemin likes to think he's just being nice, but Haechan calls him a professional manipulator and gaslighter. Which if you do see it in a technical way, Jaemin's sweet words does affect the way girls interpret his intentions. Because in all honesty, he's just fucking and ghosting. But with a couple of I'm sorry's or Sweetheart's or maybe even a little bit of 'You don't deserve a man like me,' Jaemin easily could bounce out everytime.
"Also, why have we not heard about her? I mean, a face like that? Its impossible that she hadn't shown Haechan's radar." Renjun stated. Its true, it does feel weird that none of them knew who you were, specially Haechan. He's quite literally the hot girl radar and you definitely qualified as one. Its rate that Haechan never made a move on you, or even talked to you.
"Maybe she's really weird or has like a third nipple." Jeno sounds genuine, which was even worse. Jaemin couldn't help but question how is this man his best friend.
"Can you not be a twelve year-old?" Jaemin, as he threw a cushion over Jeno's side.
"Anyways, let's go back to Jaemin being a stupid idiot,"
--
["You got it?"] Renjun's voice was heard through the phone.
"Yes, you bitch. Now once I get home, I expect my beer and chicken laid in my table perfectly, or I'm burning your book." Its almost 7pm and almost everyone had already left the campus but Jaemin. Renjun had asked him to fetch his book from a friend, because Jaemin is the only one staying in the campus this late. For the reason being, well, he had a little make out sesh after his last class with Jiho.
Jaemin wasn't intentionally doing it just to spite you, its just Jiho was a great kisser. And maybe to get information about you, just a little. But that did not happen because he did not have the chance to actually talk to her about you as his mouth was a little preoccupied.
As he walked through the hallway, a door suddenly opened, which revealed you, hair dishevelled and your shirt was wrinkled. He knew that posture too well, out of all people, he's the one most familiar of it. You just did the nasty with someone.
In the school grounds? Jaemin scoffs. He was about to approach you when another body also came out of the room.
No way. No fucking way! Jaemin's eyes went wild, his jaw slowly parts as he saw who it was. He quickly hides behind one of the lockers to avoid you seeing him, only peeking his head a bit to confirm what he just saw.
Nurse Suh. You're sleeping with the school nurse. Jaemin was utterly shocked, as he contemplated on what he should do next. You're definitely not the innocent and soft girl he thought you would be, you're so far from it. And as far as he knows, Nurse Suh has a girlfriend! And not to mention, it's illegal!
"Nurse Suh?!" The three of his friends couldn't believe it either. Jaemin just could not keep the information to himself. He knew he could trust his friends.
"I mean, yes he's hot but isn't he like 34?" Jeno questioned.
"Dumbass, he's only 27. Him and my older brother are friends." Haechan said, then quickly looking back at Jaemin.
"And she's what, 22? I don't see anything wrong here." Haechan shrugged. Of course, out of all of them, Haechan would find this situation fine. He had slept with a teacher before, and called it his 'great awakening'.
"He has a girlfriend, you fucking idiot." Renjun said, hitting Haechan in the back of the head.
"So? You gotta do what you gotta do, man. Honestly, if I was Nurse Suh, I would tap it too." Followed by a playful chuckle, Haechan got another slap in the back of the head, this time, from Jeno.
"Stop hitting me! I need to protect my braincells, I need to pass the test tomorrow, you assholes." Haechan whined, massaging his head.
"Wait, Haechan, did you not know her before?" It was Jaemin's turn to ask, genuinely curious on why Haechan never made a move on you.
Haechan is basically like Jaemin, but even more evil. Sure, they're both manwhores but Jaemin leaves nicely. As to Haechan, he would leave without saying a word and pretend to not know you the next day. While Jaemin would receive love letters, Haechan receives death threats and some hex put on him. Its not like he's bad in bed, because if he is, he wouldn't be able to get his dick wet as frequent as he is now. It's because Haechan does not care for people's feelings.
"I did, I know who she was." Haechan shrugged. All three of them looked at him.
"Why didn't you.. like... tell me about that?" Jaemin's voice was small, a bit shy with what he just said.
"Because It's kinda funny when you get turned down." Haechan had a smile on his face whilst he said it. Jeno shook his head and Renjun just scoffed.
"Please tell me you're joking." Renjun. The boy laughed even more louder while shaking his head and before he knows, a flying cushion came straight to his face. But it didn't stop Haechan from smiling like an idiot.
"You know what's ridiculous, Haechan? That fucking faded out starwars shirt, because I'm gonna make you eat it you fucker!--" Jaemin fought back, reaching out for his friend but Haechan quickly moved away from him
"I'm sorry, Jaeminnie-- but I did try to flirt with her but she's cold as ice, man. And you all know how persistent I am so when me, Lee Haechan, gave up on a girl, you know that girl's impossible. And I heard that she never dates, well, I guess now I know why." Haechan explained himself but Jaemin is still annoyed and pissed.
"So you just let your friend get his ass handed to him? You should've told Jaem, man." Jeno.
"Admit it, It's kinda funny when Jaemin gets rejected. I mean, it almost never happens. And the one time it did, we're not even there to witness it." Haechan keeps smiling, pissing off Jaemin more, but his mind is else where.
---
"I had to say, I'm surprised you called me twice this week. Am I finally cracking your fuckboy code, Na Jaemin?" Jiho had a smirk on her face when he approached Jaemin at the closed off audiotorium in the science building.
"Can you sit down first?" Jaemin scooted a bit and gave space for Jiho to sit down. He has a whole different plan today, and although inviting the girl in his usual makeout spot almost always leads up to them hooking up, this time Jaemin is persistent on asking Jiho about you.
"This is weird. Aren't you taking my skirt off?" Jiho hesitantly sat beside the boy, expecting a kiss but instead, Jaemin has his brows furrowed and seemed bothered
"What? No. Not now. I just want to ask you something." Jaemin turned his body facing Jiho.
"You're being weird." Jiho leaned away a bit, still confused about the whole situation.
"You know y/n?" Jaemin goes straight to the point. Jiho had a visible shock in her face. She never expected your name to pop out from anyone's mouth, and especially not Jaemin's.
"Yes? Why?" Slowing her words, she inspected Jaemin's features.
"Nothing. Why haven't I seen her before?" The question Jaemin is most interested about.
"She's never gonna be interested with you, or anyone. Leave her alone." Jiho suddenly stood up, turned around and walked away as fast as she can, but not as fast as Jaemin.
Before she could even leave the auditorium, Jaemin got a hold of her wrist. "Why are you this weird about her?"
"I know you think you can woo her because you're Na Jaemin and you're a fucking playboy or some shit, but I'm telling you, not even as your hook up buddy, she's worse than you. So I suggest, as your friend, stay. away. from y/n."
---
"This is totally not weird. Yeah sure, I mean, we're just following a random girl walking down the street. Totally not weird." Renjun for one was scammed into doing this. Jaemin asked him to go with him and go buy some pants in the mall for a promise for Haidilao afterwards. Ofcourse Renjun is gonna agree, because he would never pass a free hotpot.
What Jaemin failed to say is that he has a little side quest on his itenirary for today. For someone who's unbothered most of the time, Jaemin is going insane thinking about the mystery that is you. And Jiho's outburst absolutely did not help at all.
"We're not following her. We're just y'know... happens to be in the same way as her." Jaemin knew what he was saying was bullshit, and that Renjun would never believe a word he says. But he would never admit that he's letting someone go and do cartwheel on his mind for almost two weeks now.
"Except we can't walk more than ten feet closer and we've been turning in the same corners as her for about thirty minutes." Sarcasm did not need to be noted.
Jaemin didn't listen and continued walking the same direction as you. This is definitely out of his character, but he has to know you. He's been intrigued enough to actually make an effort to atleast know who you were.
Suddenly, you turned left, into a busy cafe. "You promised me Haidilao, Na Jaemin. Not coffee!" Renjun started being a little irritated. He's hungry, exhausted and disappointed from Jaemin's fake promises. He doesn't need coffee right now, and hell, he's not gonna sit inside a cafe when he could have hotpot right now!
"Jesus, shut the fuck up!" Jaemin dug into his pocket and reached for his phone, typing for a minute and Renjun felt his own phone vibrated.
"Nice. I'll see you later, Sherlock Holmes." Jaemin sent Renjun money for hotpot, which quickly shifted the boy's mood.
"You're useless!" Jaemin yelled as Renjun walked away. "You love me!" Renjun replied with a smile as he skips away.
Jaemin hesitated a bit if he should enter the cafe. Is it too much just to suddenly show up where you are? No. This is the townsquare, students from his and your school are frequents here. It's not gonna be weird. Right, definitely.
The cafe is full packed, quite a line forming. There seems ro be no tables available, but Jaemin still decides to go inside. But as soon as he steps inside the cafe, his feet turned ice cold.
"Alright! I know, I'm sorry!" He sees you hurriedly putting on your apron, as another man seemingly upset with you. He quickly steps into the line of customers, and he just hopes that once he's on the counter, you would be the one serving him.
Jaemin thought he had time to calculate how he's gonna approach you, but the line was quickly moving, and he swear, he's fucking nervous. What if you didn't remember him? Or find him weird for being here?
As the last one in front of him turned to leave, he's finally infront of you. Unfortunately, you weren't looking and focused on the monitor in front of you.
"Uhm," he cleared his throat, trying to get your attention.
"What can I get you, sir?" Your customer service voice was obvious, and quite frankly, annoying. You smiled brightly at him, which he deemed so fake.
"Iced Americano, small." Jaemin's voice was deeper than usual, partly because he's nervous, and maybe because he wanted a cool guy impression.
"You literally followed me here just to get a small americano?" The humour in your voice makes Jaemin embarassed. Wide eyed, Jaemin feigned confusion, not wanting to be caught in 4k.
"I wasn't following y-you?" One thing Jaemin was bad at, was definitely lying. The way he stuttered at his last word says so.
You fought a smirk, again, leaving poor Jaemin feeling so little. "Sure, and the gravity isn't real."
"I swear, I'm not--"
"I'm on a break by 6:30. One small americano, right, sir?" You smiled at him, and Jaemin can fucking feel it. His heart skipping a beat.
"Make that large."
----
His drink already warm, ice all melted into one bland coffee, Jaemin started to feel pathetic. He's been sitting here, on the side of the cafe for almost three hours. He's realizing how stupid he is for doing all of this for someone who's not even that... special. He doesn't know you. You're pretty, yes, but there's always gonna be another girl who's prettier. Maybe its his dick thinking and doing the decisions earlier, but Jaemin saw his entire reputation go so far down if anybody knew he waited for you for three fucking hours. He never knew he could do all of this for a pussy he can easily get with other girls who would even beg for him.
Simmering in his own thoughts, Jaemin huffs and almost stood up to leave, Until he saw his phone, 6:29.
Shit, only one more minute wouldn't hurt anybody? No. Fuck her for playing hard to get. I'm Na fucking Jaemin! Who does she think she is?!
Just as Jaemin actually stood up, he saw you walking slowly towards him while undoing your apron, smile on your face making his knees literally weak that he had to sit down again.
"Leaving already?" You asked, sitting in front of him.
"I-I was just... stretching my legs." If his friends are here to hear the words he just said, he might just jump off a cliff.
"Sure. Now, tell me, Na Jaemin-ssi. What the fuck do you want from me?" Okay, now this, Jaemin did not expect this. Your words sounded harsh but your soft voice says otherwise. Being passive aggresive just makes Jaemin confused all over again.
But fuck it, you wanna play hard? Jaemin can do that. His patience wearing thin, he leaned back on the chair and smirked, almost like flipping on a switch in his aura.
"I want to fuck you." Jaemin didn't whisper, or even lower his voice. He said it so casually, and he noticed your confident stare flinch for a bit.
"I would, but I'm afraid you're not my type." Its like you two were having an asshole-off and seeing who's more cockier than the other. Jaemin isn't competitive, but he's not gonna lose this one.
"Don't be silly. I'm everybody's type." Jaemin definitely won by that line. Or so he thoughts.
"Judging from words on the streets, You're a walking STD. I think I'm gonna pass." This time, Jaemin's sure that you're just pissing him off. Maybe this is your way of playing hard to get, but Jaemin likes to play dirty.
"I fuck a lot but I'm clean, and even if that happens, I'm sure your little school nurse friend can help you." Visible shock in your face, its clear that Jaemin pushed your buttons. Your confident facade slowly shaking, as you gulped and blink trying to process what he just said.
But that didn't last long, only seconds after, you pulled back your smirk. "Oh, you've done some research, I see."
"Now come on, pretty girl. What do you say?" He started to feel it. He's cracking your hard shell.
"Are you really good in bed as they say you were?"
"Go on and ask your friend."
---
"Holy f-fuck, J-jaemin.. shit.. slowdown!" Your table aggressively banging as you bent over it, Jaemin mercilessly pistoning you from behind. His pants not even half way down his thighs, the lower hem of his shirt in between his teeth, showing his glistening abs flexing as he thrusts.
His left hand locking both yours behind your back, and his right hand keeping your head on the table, facing your side. Your mesh tights has been ripped, your skirt all the way up your stomach. One by one, your things that was left on the table started to fall on the ground, as Jaemin's aggressive thrusts forcefully moves the table on a rocking motion.
"Shi.. fuck, I'm coming.." Your hoarse voice was prominent, only motivates Jaemin to hit even harder. Only grunts and growls was heard from the boy, his moans blocked by his shirt between his teeth. Jaemin wasn't only fucking you, he's proving a point aswell. To you, and to himself.
He removes his hands from your head, allowing you to look at him from behind. His free hand brushed his hair backwards, still keeping his tempo. Sweat dripping, his thrusts started to stutter. He then grabbed your face, and pulled you to his chest. Letting go of the shirt in his lips, he whispered, "Come with me, sweetheart."
His hands finding your waist as he felt your walls tighten, an intense whine leaving your mouth as your leg shakes quietly. That triggered his own release, murmuring a few curse words as all his movements halts. Only heavy breathing was heard, everything else dead silent. He slowly pulls out, earning a moan from the both of you.
"That was.." You couldn't even finish, fixing your clothes, quickly sitting at one of your chairs on the table, afraid your knees might give out.
"Intense." Jaemin tucked himself on his pants as he sat down in front of you.
"Not bad," You smirked at him, trying to keep your composure. Jaemin smirked back, proud of himself.
"I thought I wasn't your type?"
"Gotta know what's all the fuss is about. I guess the cat died and curiousity wins." Out of breath, you suddenly picked something on the floor, and Jaemin notices that its a marker that had fell from the table.
"If you wanna do this again," you stared grabbing Jaemin's arms and writing your number on it. "...give me a call, yeah?"
"How about Nurse Suh?" Jaemin didn't wanna sound like a little whiny boy but he had to ask. Is she still going to continue seeing him?
"What about him?" You raised your brows at him.
"Won't he be mad?" Jaemin can see the laugh you held in, before shaking your head.
"We're not in a relationship, and will never be. Same goes to you. We just fuck and go. I'm clean, I hope you are too, and we're not passing the line of being each other's fuck buddy. None of that corny shit, or you're out. I hope you understand, Jaeminnie, you're just a good dick with a pretty face." Your soft face does not match the words you just spilled out. And Jaemin thinks he's hit the jackpot.
No commitments? Just good sex? With you? He thinks he's in heaven. He can't wait to tell the boys about this.
If Jaemin was in the movies, he would've fisted the air and smiled like an idiot.
"Here's to good sex?" Jaemin offers his hand, which you gladly accepted. "Good sex indeed."
---
Jaemin never minded what day it is. Just as long as he did what he needs to do today, he's fine. Tomorrow will have to wait. But eversince you, suddenly he felt impatient and counted the days until he saw you again.
After a few weeks, Jaemin and you saw each other twice a week, mostly Thursdays and Sundays, the days where your schedules matched. Jaemin never knew he would be stuck with one girl for this long, but damn. You're too good. You keep Jaemin on his toes every time he sees you. You were like a gift, waiting to be opened everytime. The excitement and the thrill always feels brand new. And Jaemin would never admit it, but every week, he'd hope the other days go by quickly and wishes it was Thursday again.
"He's smiling like a creep again, Jeno! What the fuck is up with your bestfriend?!" Haechan dramatically hid behind Jeno as Jaemin walked inside their little hang out spot, the old elementay library that became abandoned throughout the renovations.
"He's apparently getting the best pussy in the campus." Jeno shrugged and pushed Haechan away before he plopped himself down the couch.
"You're banging Im Hayeon?" Haechan widen his eyes as he strides towards Jaemin.
"No, dimwit. He's fucking y/n." Renjun, unbothered as usual as he continued drawing in his iPad.
"No way-- no fucking way!" Haechan gasps, grabbing Jaemin's shoulder as he shook it. Jaemin slaps away Haechan's hands and pushed him aside to sit beside Jeno.
"Shut up, Haechan. You're being dramatic." Jaemin pulled out his phone, hoping he would see your name pop up. Surprisingly, nothing but social media notifications greeted him, message requests and follows from people he doesn't know. He checked what time it is, 2:45pm.
Okay. Its still early. She'll text later.
"In all seriousness, dude, do you guys talk? like aside from doing it-- I mean." Jeno's tone was unusual. It's like he's being careful about something, or he wants to say something.
"Yeah? The fuck? D'you think we just fuck and go? Of couse we talk. Why?" Jaemin noticed Jeno's way of talking, turning his whole body towards his bestfriend.
"She tell you something about her?" This time, Renjun and Haechan leaned in.
"Get to the point, man." Jaemin.
"Nah, cuz the girl I was with last night told me that she's really... uh, popular at her previous school." Jeno, knowing the whole context, winced at the word 'popular'.
"What do you mean?" Jaemin's smile when he came here was no longer visible, replacing it with a frown as his brows creased in nervousness.
"I don't know-- man, I think you just... ask her, y'know?" Jeno wasn't comfortable sharing the information he had, but he knew Jaemin needs to know. But he wasn't sure if he's in the place to tell it.
But Haechan did not give a fuck. He's intrigued, and before they knew it, he's deep inside his phone texting someone.
"What are you doing?" Renjun asked.
"Since Jeno is being a pussy and won't share, I'm finding it out." And a second before Haechan could even type another letter, Jeno grabbed his phone away.
"Don't! Don't fucking search it. We should respect her, man. She's still a girl and I heard it was taken down---"
Haechan gasped even louder, even breathing out an "oh my god", He didn't say it out loud but the four of them were thinking the same thing.
"Holy fuck, she has a sex tape?!" Haechan, ofcourse was the first one to break the silence.
And once again, you surprised Jaemin.
---
"I'm famished, god damn." You sat beside Jaemin on your old couch, digging a spoon on your bowl of cereal. Your top barely even buttoned, you started eating a spoonfull after another.
"Slow down, you'll--" before Jaemin even finishes, you caught something in your throat and coughed almost everything in your mouth.
"What did i tell you? Aish-" Jaemin quickly then grabbed the tissue beside the couch and started to wipe your face. He grabbed the bowl from you, putting it aside and wiping some of the milk that had spilled on you.
He then stood up and walked towards your kitchen, as if he owns the place. Next thing you know, he comes back with a glass of water in his hands.
"Thank you," you managed to blurt out in the middle of your coughing and drank the water.
"I thought you didn't have a gag reflex the way you sucked my dick earlier," Jaemin joked, earning a playful slap in his shoulder from you.
"Shut up, movies starting." Jaemin didn't give a single fuck about the movie playing on screen. Haechan's voice keeps ringing in his ear, and as much as he wanted to stay out of it and respect your privacy, something in him wants to know. Its like an itch wanting to be scratched.
"Tom Holland's like the perfect spiderm-- Jaemin?" The boy's trance was interrupted when you call his name. He didn't realize that he was staring off to nothing instead of watching the movie he picked.
"Yeah?" Jaemin blinked thrice before looking at you, your eyes peaked interest as you examined his face.
"You're out of it, what're you thinking?" You paused the movie, moving your body to fully face him.
Jaemin can't wait. He has to know. "Just curious, where did you say your last school is?" He hoped his question wasn't too obvious.
"I didn't say anything?" Okay, hold up. Plan backfired. Fuck!
"What? I-I swear you told me, like, last time? Sacre--"
"Sacred Heart. Yeah. And no, I didn't tell you about it." Like the many times, Jaemin was nervous. Again. You make him so.. unlike himself. What the fuck is it with you?
"Oh, wait, are you sure--"
"You heard about it, huh?" Jaemin couldn't tell if the smirk on your face was a good thing. He doesn't want to fuck this up, and he's starting to think he just did.
"I'm sorry, If you don't want to talk about it--"
"It's fine. It's not that bad. Hell, It could've earned so much if it was uploaded in a porn site, y'know? Stupid Mr. Nakamoto," You chuckled, nonchalantly turning your body towards the screen again, as if what you just said didn't just shocked Jaemin to the core.
The fact that you weren't bothered about it, and even sounded like you're bragging about it wasn't the main thing Jaemin was apalled by. "Mr. Nakamoto?"
You smiled, as if you were reminiscing, "He was my Biology teacher. Couldn't accept the fact that I'm leaving him so he went and blackmailed me with the video, but his phone got stolen and poof, it spread around like a wildfire. If you ask another person tho, they'd just say I spread it myself. You choose what you believe-- I don't really care." And you looked like it too. You did not care, because if you did, you wouldn't just tell all of this to Jaemin.
"Did anything happened to that assho-- Mr. Nakamoto?" Jaemin feels heated. He doesn't know why, but what he knows is he wants to suckerpunch whoever that Nakamoto is.
"Got his license removed, but you know what's even more fun?" You leaned onto him, your lips next to his ear and whispered, "His wife was so devastated her husband had to find someone younger to fuck, she filed for divorce the very next day."
And just like that, Jaemin was left speechless. Again.
---
"Jaem, someone's looking for you." Renjun tapped his friend's shoulder, pointing at the student standing on the door. Jaemin slowly opened his eyes, way too tired to even stand up, and looked who it was.
To his surprise, it was Yoon Jeonghan. He knew this would come sooner or later, since he had a.. thing with his sister for a while. But he never thought that Jeonghan cared, afterall, Jeonghan never talked to him about it.
But oh boy, was he wrong.
"Heard you're fooling around with y/n?" Jeonghan was serious. He wasn't looking at Jaemin, he's just staring ahead. His hands on his pocket, as Jaemin stood behind him, confused.
"Yeah? What about it?" He knew you and Jeonghan were friends, he often sees you with him. But why does this conversation feel more intense?
"And my sister already talked to you about it, right?" This time, Jeonghan looked at him.
"Yeah, she's being weird about it." Somehow, Jaemin wants this conversation to be about Jiho instead of you. He wishes Jeonghan was only after him because of his sister, because then, he knew what to do. But its you. Jaemin never know what to do with you.
"Because she's right. You should stay away from her, man. Just-- a friendly advice, alright?" Jaemin hated how Jeonghan sounded so sincere. What could be so awful about you that even this man, who he never even talked to, warned him about you?
"Dude, not to sound rude, but how the fuck does me fucking around with y/n, your business?" His voice slightly getting sharper, owing to the fact that he hated getting told what to do.
"You're a good man, Na. I'm sure there's more prettier-- even more fucking hotter girls than her. She's not..." Jeonghan paused, almost saying something he would regret, "... good for you. I've known her forever, and she's not the type to be with."
"I know you're older than me, and I mean this with utmost respect, you and your sister should mind your own business. I don't know what she did to you and Jiho, but she's fine. And we're not even together! We're just fooling around! Y'all are so dramatic." With that, Jaemin turned around and left Jeonghan. He sounded so unbothered by all of this, but in all honestly, he's starting to question if there's really a valid reason on why Jeonghan and Jiho was so sincere about you being apparently, a bad person.
The way you laugh at Jaemin, the way you smiled, you tell your stories, and everything Jaemin saw you do, you being a bad person doesn't make sense to him. Sure, you've done some fucked up things but Jaemin never cared about that. You showed him genuine happiness, and Jaemin could never see you in the light that Jeonghan and Jiho painted you out to be.
And just like clockwork, your name popped up in his screen. Just as if everything in the past fifteen minutes never happened, his steps became slightly faster as he grabbed his things. He couldn't be more excited to see you again.
---
"This is pretty." Jaemin pointed out a painting, whilst he dressed himself. You were also doing the same thing, but you looked at where he was pointing at.
It was your artwork from last year. The canvas was leaning beside your dresser, along with other canvasses that you never put up.
"Wonderstruck." you said. You were a bit appalled that Jaemin noticed the only work you were actually proud of. It wasn't even displayed in the front, it was almost entirely covered by unfinished canvasses.
"Wonderstruck? That's its name? It's really beautiful." Jaemin sounded sincere, he really found the painting pretty. It was a couple, sitting by a river on golden hour. Sky was the shade of orange and blue, nighttime seeking in but the sun's still there, laying real low. It was in a middle of a field, lavender flowers scattered around.
It was new to you, men showing interest on something more than your face and body. It sparked something in you, Jaemin knew that with the way you jumped out of your bed, biting your lip, hesitating for a second, "Want to show you something."
"What do you think?" You were standing beside your kitchen table, with a few printed photos of people Jaemin didn't know. It was all in black in white, and all of them showed genuine smiles.
"Cool. Who are they?" Jaemin was adjusting his belt as he scanned every picture. The way you're looking so innocent and fluffy, showing him your photo collection can fool a person into thinking you did not just have mindblowing sex minutes prior. Jaemin stifles a laugh.
You, in your overalls smiled so brightly at him, excited that Jaemin showed interest on your work. "They're random people I saw on the street." You were fidgety, kept on arranging the photos. Looking at Jaemin for any signs of validation. Jaemin thought you were so cute, but he never said it out loud.
"Is it for your project?" Now, Jaemin doesn't have a single clue about the Art department in his school, but he knew it's important for you, so he tried his best.
"No. I just did it." You took one picture and showed it to him upclose. "I just like to see people smiling, you know? There's just something so precious with asking people to smile for you. Because when they do, you can tell that they just feel.. pretty. And I like making people feel pretty." You were so caught up in explaining that you didn't notice how Jaemin was looking at you. And he was thankful you didn't see it.
The way his eyes just expressed a thousand strings of emotions he's afraid to show almost felt dangerous, he didn't want to get caught. But for a moment, he let it happen because he was sure you were focused on something else. All the while he was focused on you. Because while you were explaining how smiling makes people pretty, he was thinking that you didn't need to smile and he's already thinking that you were the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on.
But before you could even looked at him, Jaemin quickly focused his gaze on the photo you were showing him. "That's cool. But I never knew you were into photography aswell. I thought you were into paintings only."
"I'm into art, Jaem. And art comes with different things. Although I like painting more, photography is my second favorite. Here, before you go," Swiftly, you grabbed your polaroid camera and stood beside Jaemin, putting your arms around his shoulder making you stand on your tippy toes, and angling the camera where it could capture you both. Jaemin was caught by surprise but he still managed to smile and pull you tighter.
As soon as the flash disappeared, you removed yourself from him and grabbed the film. "This one's for you, so you could remember who your best sex was." She winked at him and chuckled before going back to rearrange her photos.
Jaemin, on the other hand, his eyes never left your figure. He was in awe, he was amazed, and fuck it, he was wonderstruck. But most importantly, he was fucking scared.
---
The next thursday came, and surprisingly, you didn't call. Jaemin liked to think you were just busy, so he never reached out. There's still sunday, he thought. And even if you didn't reach out this sunday, its okay. It's not like you had to keep the schedule, right?
Besides, Jaemin was busy aswell. He's planning Jeno's birthday. Usually, Renjun and Haechan was the one assigned to planning parties, but Renjun was occupied and Haechan wasn't feeling it. They were still helping Jaemin, its just that Jaemin wanted to throw a party for his bestfriend this time. Also, to take his mind off of you for a bit.
If he wasn't busy and occupied with something, Jaemin might go insane thinking about where you are or why you haven't been calling him. So he initiated.
"How fucking long is your list, Jaemin?" Renjun couldn't believe how long he's been scrolling through Jaemin's list for the party invitations. Yet, he isn't surprised.
"You know you can just announce that you're throwing a party and literally everyone who knows you and Jeno will come, right?" Haechan, laying on the couch scrolling mindlessly on his phone.
"Nah, I don't want some weirdo showing up uninvited." Jaemin pointed out, but he left out another reason. He wanted to waste time on listing names just to get you out his mind even for a short time.
"Well don't forget about Jisung's best friend." Haechan smirked.
"Jeno's brother's bestfriend? That's weirdly specific, bro." Jaemin added, shrugging his shoulders. Still, he wrote it down.
"A little birdie told me that Jeno has a thing for his brother's bestfriend." Haechan chuckled, fixing his glasses.
"What? How come I never knew that?" Jaemin asked. He's Jeno's best friend and an information like this would surely come up. Yet its the first time he's heard of this.
"That's because you're so far up that mystery y/n girl's ass you're starting to look like anal beads, bro." Renjun winced at Haechan's choice of words, but then again, he's used to it.
"I'm not, dude. I'm here most of the time, aren't I?" Jaemin looked at Renjun for validation, but he just rolled his eyes at him.
"He's actually right, Jaemin. You're whipped." Renjun added, smirking.
"What the fuck are you talking about? I'm literally here in front of you guys, on a thursday, which I'm supposed to be with her-- but I'm not because she didn't call-- but also because I want to be with you ass--"
"The more you talk, the more you prove our point. You're fucking whipped, Na Jaemin." Haechan sat down properly, playfull shoving Jaemin to provoke him. Jaemin just hit Haechan's hands away but that didn't stop the boy from annoying him.
"Think of it, dude. You went through two months with her-- only her. Two months-- dude. That's fucking bizarre for you. It's either that pussy was gold, or-- just like what we're saying, your ass is whipped." Haechan was pissing Jaemin off, not because he doesn't agree, its because he does. And admitting that would just fuck up everything you two have.
"I don't know what you're talking about. You guys are tripping, big time. I'm not whipped." Lies tasted bitter in his mouth. He might just be whipped.
He walked out of their hangout room, and just as he opened the door, his eyes widen. You were there, standing with your messy bun, clueless eyes and a box in your hand.
"H-hey?" Jaemin was caught offguard, as he closed the door behind him.
"That room looks like it stinks."
Jaemin chuckled, it does. "Mostly of weed and old furniture. What's up?"
"I,- uh, baked some cookies. Just-- y'know, wanted you to have some." You awkwardly raised your box of cookies to present them to Jaemin, and it takes so much of him not to melt on the spot.
"Thank you," Jaemin resisted the urge to call you 'baby', mostly because he didn't know if he was allowed to do it outside your apartment.
"Tell you what-- why don't we eat it together?" Jaemin.
"I'm free until 4:30?"
"Cool, we can go to the garden, there's barely any student there."
Jaemin smiled and grabbed you by your wrist. "But I know a much more cooler place."
"Really? Where?" Jaemin stopped, and it was your turn to hold him by the wrist.
Jaemin didn't ask, he just let you drag him anywhere. You could take him to a lion's den, he wouldn't care. Anywhere is fine with him as long as you're there.
After climbing on a flight of stairs, Jaemin noticed that you two ended up on Art department building's rooftop.
He hasn't been in here, and it was.. interesting. It looks like any other rooftop, messy and full of unused class chairs, except there was a spot where there's an old couch, just like what they have on their hangout spot. There's a random mini refrigerator and a lamp-- thats it.
"This is my super secret place. Be greatful I let you in here." You squinted your eyes at Jaemin as you patted the seat beside you, basically asking him to sit.
Jaemin did so, and looked ahead. He can see the entire school campus in here.
"This is pretty." He whispered.
"Much better than your stinky room, huh?" You bragged, opening a can of cola that you have on the mini fridge.
"Hey, how come you have that? We requested to have one but the stupid school didn't let us."
"Oh, this little guy? Johnny helped me with it." You smirked, tapping the blue mini fridge.
"Johnny?" A new name in Jaemin's books. Who's Johnny?
"Nurse Suh? His name is Johnny Suh, you didn't know?"
"I didn't." His vibe went a bit south, but he didn't let that spoil your moment together. It was rare for you to approach him in school, and he wanted to have that moment.
"This is good, damn." Jaemin munched on the cookies you got for him and it was honestly tasty. Better than any other cookies he had before, or maybe he was biased and his judgement was greatly affected by the fact that you made it. Eitherway, the cookies are delicious.
"I only made one batch and even that was too much for me. I wanted to give some out but.." you paused. "Funny, you're the only one I had in mind."
"Nurse Suh?" Jaemin didn't even know why he brought the guy up again, but he did.
"Nah, we don't do that." You smiled.
"And we do?" A tinge of hope sparked in Jaemin, that maybe he had some difference between him and Nurse Suh. Maybe you do treat him more special. A guy can dream, can't he?
"Sure, we do. I mean, I can't just throw away this exceptionally good tasting cookies, can't I? And you're the only one I have right now.. so."
Jaemin was enthusiastic. He felt like he won something. He can't help but smile even more, but also, he felt bad. When you said he was the only one you have, he thought about Jiho and Jeonghan.
"What about the Yoon siblings?"
You let out a humourless chuckle, more like a scoff. "Jiho doesn't talk to me anymore and Jeonghan.. well. It's complicated."
"I swear I just saw you two eating at the cafeteria." Heck, that's how he found out about you. Because you were sitting at the cafeteria beside Jeonghan.
"He just sat with me because he felt bad I was eating alone. Also I barely go down there to eat-- so he kinda just.. I don't know. Let's not talk about them anymore, Jaem."
---
"Look at me, baby." Jaemin whispered, softly grabbing your jaw to turn your head towards him. He has you on your side, holding your right thigh up as he slowy thrust. He can see that you're near, and damn, he can feel it too.
"J-jaem.." You start shaking, as your entire body give out. Looking into his eyes, his own pleasure wasn't on the table anymore, he just wants you to feel good. He can safely say that you are indeed the prettiest when you cum, and he's glad he can see you this way.
"That's right, sweetheart. Let go for me, will you?" This was very different on how you usually do it with him. You were usually intense, rough and fast, but something about tonight feels more... passionate. Jaemin never went any faster than his current tempo, yet he still hits every spot. Slow and deep, while he looks at your face, admiring the beauty he's glad he had the priviledge to see.
"Kiss me, Jaemin." You didn't even have to ask twice, Jaemin already dipped his head lower to reach your lips, tasting you while your walls tightens, your whimpers covered by his own lips, you just came.
Once Jaemin pulls away, he pulls a few strings of hair strands away your face to see you. Your eyes glistening, and not long when you let a tear drop. Jaemin could never wish for anything more than this.
"You're so beautiful, y/n." He whispered, more to himself, than to you.
"Thank you." You softly answered, smiling at him and giving him another kiss. Jaemin then let go of your thigh, instead wrapping his arms on your waist. It seems like you got the idea that he's near his climax so you positioned yourself in a way that he gets more of you, sticking your backside out more thus facing away from him.
"No, no, princess keep looking at me." Jaemin whispered and you followed, facing him again.
"You gonna cum for me, baby?" You asked sensually. His thrust slightly getting deeper, but never faster. His eyes went back and forth with both of your eyes as he nodded.
"For you, my love." He mumbled. His jaw slightly ajar, brows furrowed as he let out a deep moan, abruptly staying still and you felt his release warming up your walls.
"You did so good, Jaemin. So, so good." Your compliments just adds to his pleasure. Shivers ran down his spine, he manages to calm himself after his intense climax.
"You're so good to me. I lik--" Before Jaemin finishes, you pulled away from him.
"I'm taking a piss." You said, forcing yourself to stand up and walk your way to the bathroom.
And just like how he felt so good seconds before, it suddenly got washed away with the feeling of dismay. He can't believe he just attempted to say that. Fuck. Running his hands on his face, he mentally curses himself for being wreckless.
You were still in the bathroom when Jaemin heard a few knocks. He's confused, grabbing his phone to look at the time.
9:47pm. Who could visit you at this time?
He grabbed his boxers and quickly putting it on, as well as his shirt but he didn't bother to make himself presentable. He opened the door and his eyes widen.
"Nurse Suh?" He eyed the tall man, and the guy eyed him too. Both of them are confused as to why the other is standing where they are.
"Na Jaemin? What the hell are you doing here?" Johnny wasn't even sure why he was asking that, it's clear with Jaemin's shuffled hair and obviously--- him in his boxers.
"I'm sure you know the answer to that." Jaemin sounded rude, but he does not give a shit. Nurse Suh poses as a threat to him and your-- uh, situationship -- and Jaemin doesn't have a reason to be nice to him.
"Where is she?" Johnny's voice was full of concern, as he looked past the younger boy just to get a glimpse inside your apartment. That's until Jaemin steps outside, and closing the door behind him.
"What do you want from her?" Jaemin looks at him, and although the guy was taller and has a bigger built, again, he doesn't care.
"I'm sure you know the answer to that." Johnny's tone and him mocking Jaemin pissed him more. Letting out a huge breath, Jaemin looked at him straight in the eyes.
"You know-- you're whole relationship with her is fucked up, right?" Johnny was surprised on how Jaemin just turned off the calm facade. He didn't expect him to be triggered like this
"What relationship? You out of all people should know she doesn't do relationsh--"
"Yeah, whatever. You can't fuck around with her anymore, man. You're a fucking school staff, and she's a student. Also, you have a fucking girlfriend. I don't know how you're okay with this."
"The same way she's okay with it. Look, kid," Johnny closed his eyes and massaged his temples, he continued. "... me and her, we've been through some shit. Shit that you can't handle. But I know.. man, you care for her. And I don't want to hear your bullshit, you do care for her. And I do too. But she's not the kind to be with, y'know? She's gonna ruin--"
"Fuck! You weren't the only one who fucking told me that. I don't know what she did to you, but she's fine with me. If you think of her as this fucking tragedy on legs, then maybe you don't really care, don't you? But I do. So get off my fucking ass and don't see her again. Or I'm gonna have to report you." Jaemin didn't know where all of his words came from, but it did feel good. He doesn't think about the consequences of everything, but one thing's for sure. He's not gonna let anyone talk shit about you anymore.
Johnny, tho, never flinched. Instead, he smirks and even let out a chuckle. "You've got some nerves, kid. Okay. I'll back off. But don't come running back when she breaks you." he then turned around and got ready to leave, but a few steps in, he turned to Jaemin again.
"...oh, and tell her Happy birthday."
Jaemin stood there for a minute, watching Johnny leave. It's your birthday? How come you never said anything?
After a few deep breaths, he went inside the apartment again. Just in time when you walked out the bathroom, hair all wet and with a set of new pajamas.
"You done?" Jaemin approached with a smile.
"Yeah. You wanna take a shower?" You looked up at him. He shook his head as he patted your head. "You hungry?" he asked.
You smiled even more, looking up at him expectantly, "Please?"
"Okay. I'll go get us some food, alright? You don't worry your pretty little head." Jaemin gave you a kiss on the top of your head before getting his pants and keys, walking out of the apartment.
Not even half an hour, Jaemin came back. Not only with takeout, but also a bento box. You looked at him kind of confused on what it is, but when he opened it, your eyes widen. It was a small cake that he bought on the convenience store. He wanted a much more expensive one but he also wants to get back to you as soon as possible.
He then pulled out a small candle, sticking it onto the cake. Pulling out a newly bought lighter, and lighting the candle. "Happy birthday, princess. Make a wish." He smiles softly at you.
When all of this was happening, you didn't say a thing. You just looked at him with your glassy eyes, your mouth slightly apart. You blinked hard and fast before finally tracing back to yourself, "I'm.. how did you know?" you asked.
"Doesn't matter. Now come on, candle's burning out." Thats when you looked down on the candle, quickly closing your eyes, clasping your hands together as you thought hard about what you're wishing. Seconds after, you opened your eyes and blew on the candle.
Jaemin was still smiling, setting the small cake aside to give you a kiss on your forehead. He was surprised when your arms wrapped around his waist.
"Why do you have to make me so happy, Jaem? You make it so hard. So hard." You whispered, but Jaemin heard everything. He desparately wanted to answer, because he had an answer. And its something he's afraid to tell you. Because the result was uncertain. Its either it goes perfectly well, or he lose you. And he's not gonna take that risk.
So instead, he just returned your embrace, but even more tighter, giving you another kiss on your forehead. "I don't know." he answered quietly, lying to you and to himself.
"You're a good person, Jaem. Anyone would be lucky to have you." Your vulnerable voice made Jaemin feel warm. In a way, you sounded truthful. You felt genuine.
"You're lucky, then." Slowly, Jaemin. Lay it on her slowly.
"I can't have you." Your bitter smile showed.
"Why not?" Every second counted, every breath you take suddenly mattered.
"I can't do that to you," With a shaking voice, you buried your face in his chest even more.
"I don't understa--"
"Just shut up, shut the fuck up and let me have this." And with that, Jaemin never muttered another word. Instead, he just held you closer like this was the last time he gets to do so.
"Jaem?" You looked up at him, Jaemin looked dow n at you with his eyebrows up.
"I'm sorry." You said. And Jaemin didn't want to ask why you were apologizing, he doesn't like to know the reason behind it. Because he doesn't want you to give him a reason why he needs to forgive you about something.
---
"I think I'm inlove with her."
"Ya think?" Jeno, deep inside his phone, seems like he's stressed about something. Never minding his best friend's struggle, because everybody already knew Jaemin was inlove with you. It's not new information.
"Fuck! Shit!" Both their heads turn as they saw Renjun ran inside their hangout spot and closed the door.
"Hell is wrong with you?" Jaemin asked, but Renjun ignored him and proceeds to lock the door.
"Why's everybody so weird today?" Jaemin mumbled.
It is a very weird day for Jaemin. Somehow, he feels like something's not right. Well, yeah, his undying love for you was one thing he was stressed about but there's more, today's not like every other day, he thought.
That goes on for the rest of his morning. Its like he's waiting on something to happen, like everybody was so tense. You didn't text or call either, which was feeding onto Jaemin's paranoia. It's not like he's being clingy, but he's genuinely feeling something unsettling in his chest.
Maybe it was the coffee he had this morning, or maybe the fact that he's never had this dilemma about a girl before.
So, finally giving up his pride, he texted you.
4:50pm jaemin: wya
4:52pm jaemin: heyy
4:58pm jaemin: ??
You not answering definitely did not help. So, the next big thing he can come up with was go to your apartment. Not a smart choice but Jaemin never once claimed to be smart.
Once he took a step towards your door, for a moment. Jaemin regretted going here. He can see that your lights are on, and can hear shuffling inside. But fuck it, he's already here.
He thought you had someone over, maybe Johnny, or someone else. That made him heated. But the closer he was on your front door, he heard yelling-- and another voice, which he could tell was from a girl.
The door was ajar-- and once he was right infront of it, he could hear everything.
"Y/N! Please! Not him-- he's a good person. You know that!" He confirmed that it was Jiho who was arguing with you.
"I don't care what you feel, Jiho. Get the fuck out of my apartment!"
"Leave Jaemin alone--" Once Jaemin heard his name, his feet froze on the spot.
"Why the fuck are you so nosy? Is it because I stole your little Na Jaemin? Then go ahead! Get him back! But, oh-- newsflash, he doesn't want you anymore. Washed up and used--" The sound of a slap made Jaemin finally interfere. He walked up inside your apartment and saw you holding your cheek and Jiho crying. Both of them looked at him shocked.
"What are you doing here?" Jiho was the first one to speak, but Jaemin's eyes were focused on you.
"Did you just hurt her?" Jaemin was angry. The sight of your cheeks red and the fact that he knows Jiho just slapped you didn't sit right with him.
"Didn't you heard what she said?! Didn't you fucking understand what kind of person she is?" Jiho cried even more, she couldn't believe that someone as sweet as Jaemin would side with the most vile person she knows.
"Doesn't give you the right to hurt her." Jaemin threw all his principles away at this point. He doesn't care anymore.
"You're poisoning his mind, Y/N!" Jiho shouted, which you just smirked at her. Jaemin can't find the warmth inside your eyes, he just saw something empty.
"I didn't do shit, Jiho. Maybe you should just learn how to get out of my fucking trail. Or should I do something? Should I break your brother's heart for the second time?" Jaemin didn't know this version of you. Its like you've thrown away every emotion you have just to spite everyone.
"Don't you fucking dare." Jiho attempted to step towards you again but Jaemin put himself in between you and Jiho.
"Just go, Jiho." Jaemin calmly said.
Jiho didn't say anything, and let out a huge puff before walking out of the apartment, sobbing. She slammed the door shut and quickly the room went silent. None of you dared to talk for the first couple of minutes.
"I didn't want you here," you started.
Jaemin didn't say anything, instead, picking up some things that fell on the floor, trying to fix the apartment. Your paint brushes, your keys, and even some of your photos were on the floor. Must've been a very intense argument.
"Did you hear me, Jaemin? I don't want you here!" your voice strained, Jaemin pretended not to hear you as he continue to clean up the mess.
"Are you hungry? Want me to get you dinner?" Jaemin's voice was as normal as it can be. It doesn't make sense to you. But everything in this situation doesn't make sense.
Jaemin should be mad. Jaemin should go and leave you. Jaemin wasn't supposed to stay.
"Whatever-- do what you want. I'm going to bed."
Jaemin likes to think that in a couple of hours, you'll come up and be in a great mood. Sun shining and all that corny shit. Jaemin was also overly enthusiastic, one that masks with the real thing he's feeling right now. Nervous. Worried.
For a couple of days. Jaemin tried his best to get you out of your apartment because remember, you two are students. You were supposed to go to school. But you never left your bed. And for the first few days, Jaemin didn't go to school too. He was in your apartment day and night, looking after you. This wasn't like you before, Jaemin swears its like you're a whole new different person.
You didn't talk, didn't want to get up, and he knows damn well you aren't sleeping for the past days. You just layed there, emotionless.
He didn't know why he was doing this. You weren't you anymore and Jaemin doesn't know who he was even taking care of anymore. But he's still here. He's still with you.
The third day went and Jaemin is still in your apartment. Ignoring his friends-- and shit, even his mom. He doesn't want them to know why he's MIA for the past few days. He doesn't want everyone to know yours and his business. Whatever happenes between you two, stays between you two.
Jaemin woke up with you sitting on the kitchen. Eyes staring at nowhere, hair dishevelled and bags under your eyes forming.
"Goodmorning," Jaemin said in his sweet voice, careful not to scare you.
"I don't know how many times I should tell you this, but you should go, Jaemin. While I'm being nice." Even your voice sounds like a stranger. The pinch of joy that used to come with your voice were no longer there.
"I will, but I need to make sure you're fine---"
"I'm fine! I don't fucking need you here!" You yelled, Jaemin flinched but still remained calm.
"Are you hungry--"
"Maybe you've become dumb and stupid that you can't comprehend a simple fucking sentence, huh? I'm done with you, Jaemin. I'm sorry but you're useless to me now. I need a new face around here and yours is--"
"You really want me to leave?" Jaemin sincerely asked, like he was tired. Your eyes lifted, and you nodded.
"Yes." Jaemin's lips formed a thin line, his jaw clenched.
"Fine." He calmly walked away-- and convinced he can't take it anymore. He was tired mentally, emotionally and physically. You didn't want to be helped and Jaemin knew he can't handle you.
But as soon as the door shut behind him, his feet stood frozen as he waited. And not even a couple of minutes, the sound of your sobbing on the other side of the door made Jaemin turn his steps.
He was tired, but not fatigued. He knew he couldn't handle you but he can try. You didn't want to be helped but maybe tomorrow you change your mind. And maybe, just maybe, he can take another day.
"Breakfast, y/n. Come on." Jaemin, the fourth day. He went home for a bit, took a shower, but quickly went back to your place. And in his surprise, you were out of bed.
He can hear the faucet running, so he knew you were in the bathroom.
A few moments later, he heard you coming out of the shower. And there you are, hair all wet, freshen up after a few dreadful days and Jaemin was starting to see the color coming back in your skin.
"You feeling better, baby?" He softly asked.
"What are you still doing here?"
Jaemin didn't say anything, instead, giving you the most precious smile he had. "Come on, I cooked pancakes."
"Jaemin, get out. We're done, Jaemin. Get the fuck out!" Tears started forming again in your newly healed eyes, as you pointed out the door.
"I'm not leaving you, y/n." Finally, Jaemin acknowledged the situation.
"Who the fuck do you think you are, huh? When I say we're done, we're done, Jaemin. Can't get that through your thick head?" Words spew like venom, Jaemin starting to feel like he's staring at a stranger. Who is this person in front of him?
"I know you're upset and you haven't eaten a proper meal in days--"
"The fuck do you care?" And with that, you ticked something off from Jaemin.
"Fuck do I care?! Y/N, you've pushed everyone around you away and I was the one who stayed! For days I didn't go anywhere and stayed with you, y/n. Do I care?! Because even if I don't know what the fuck is going on with you I still fucking stayed! So yeah, I'd like to think that I care for you because I fucking lo-- shit!" Jaemin caught himself before actually saying the thing. He knows its a deal breaker if he said it but hopefully, you already felt it.
"Did I ask you to do all of that shit?"
Jaemin can almost feel his heart shatter. You really didn't care about him, or his feelings. He had a little bit of hope. And with a single sentence, you destroyed it.
Jaemin let out a humourless chuckle. "Fine. We're fucking done, y/n."
---
It's been a week and Jaemin's friends started to worry. Jaemin barely ate-- didn't attend his classes and barely got out of their hangout spot. Jeno had a call with his mom and told him that Jaemin didn't once contact them in almost a month. And thats where Jeno knew something was wrong. Jaemin loved his mom-- and he would never ghost her.
"Man, I don't know what to do. He just flicked me off when I offered him ramen." Haechan was serious. You barely see him being this concerned-- but even him, knows something was wrong with Jaemin.
"Is it about that y/n girl?" Renjun asked.
"Probably. I mean, eversince she came into the picture Jaemin basically became a different person." Jeno haven't met you yet, but this, what you're doing to his bestfriend definitely isn't giving a good impression.
"Maybe they're done. If Jaemin's looking like this and haven't mentioned a single thing about her, I think that's what this is." Renjun said, looking at his friend, and his sleeping figure.
"I have an idea." Haechan stood up and huddled his friends, but Jeno and Renjun stepped away. "No, Haechan, you don't."
"What? At least I'm trying to help our friend!" He grabbed both of his friends again, "Anyways-- we should introduce him to another girl. Get him back in the game, y'know?"
"What are we talking about?" The three of them almost jumped when Jaemin was suddenly huddled with them.
"Nothing! We're just thinking about how much booze we're buying for Jeno's party." Haechan's quick wits came into action but Jaemin didn't buy it.
"Stop being weird." He casually walked back to the sofa and plopped himself down again.
Jeno tho, had enough. "You're weird! What the fuck is with this act, bro? You look lovesick or some shit."
"m not doing anything, the fuck are you on about?" Jeno got even more pissed, because Jaemin was blatantly lying.
"That girl you're with is causing trouble, dude. You're barely going to class, we haven't seen you in days, you didn't call your mom in a week and just for her to fuck with the school nurse?" Jeno's still calm, not wanting to escalate the situation. But he figured that Jaemin needs to hear it one way of another.
Jaemin was visibly confused. What did Jeno mean about you with nurse suh? Didn't he already dealt with that?
"Saw her yesterday at the nearby convenience store with Nurse Suh. I don't know, dude but she's not worth all this shit. And I don't even wanna talk about the stuff I heard about her previous school, man." Haechan was a little hesitant about confronting Jaemin, but since Jeno has already started it he's got no choice but to just say it.
"You're out of your mind if you think you have the right to say all that shit. You don't even know her." Every word that Jaemin says was delivered with so much intensity, even the boys were starting to feel uneasy.
"We're just confused Jaem, eversince you met that y/n girl its like you became a whole new perso--" Renjun was cut off when Jaemin let out a scoff.
"Okay, I see what's going on here. If we're airing out our business here then let me have my fucking turn." Jaemin stepped towards Jeno, "You, aren't you shagging your lil bro's bestfriend? Yeah? Guess what, so is half the school."
"Hey, the hell? What's wrong with you, man?" Haechan interfered. He knew the look that Jeno has right now was serious, and he also knew that if he didn't get in between them, chaos will ensue. So he quickly stepped beside Jeno.
"What the fuck do you know about me and her, Renjun? I minded my own business when you went out with your girl out of pity." Jaemin doesn't know where that came from, but it already went out his lips. He wasn't the one to say things like that but somehow it came out. Renjun was fazed, to say the least.
"And you--" Jaemin let out an sigh and smirked, slowly turning towards Haechan. "You talk high and mighty but everybody knows you're a fucking cheater, Lee Haechan. So you, especially you, doesn't have the right to even mutter a thing about her. Because if we're talking about being an asshole, you take the fucking throne." Jaemin's eyes are empty, and so his mind. He just wanted to say anything to get back at his friends without thinking.
"Fuck you, man. Seriously. All this for that girl? You look fucking pathetic, Na Jaemin." Jeno was aggravated and fuming, but he was never gonna go down with violence, specially with his best friend. He knew better.
"It doesn't even fucking matter what you think about her anymore, cuz y'know what? We're done. She doesn't wanna see me anymore. So go ahead and talk shit about her but make sure I'm not in the fucking room next time." The room was silent, they didn't know what to say. Obviously because this was the first time they saw Jaemin like this.
"I think this shit got out of hand, I know you're upset but we're just genuinely concerned, dude." Renjun, now on the much calmer side, tries to difuse the situation.
"Okay, I'm just gonna ignore what you said because I know you're upset, Jaemin. But come on, man, you've met her what? For two months? And you're already losing yourself? I swear if this could be any other girl I wouldn't say anything but man.. she's only trouble. And you can get angry at us all you want but I'm glad you got out of that situation." This side of Haechan was rarely seen, because it only comes out when they need it the most. And for Jaemin, its also rare that he agrees with Haechan but this time, he did.
For the next week, Jaemin tried to bring himself back, and his friends noticed it too. He became active again, going to parties with them and even got back to planning on Jeno's birthday party. There was no sign of you, your name or your presence. Jaemin was starting his old ways again, meeting some girls here and there.
"Hey, what did I tell ya, huh? She's great, isn't she?" Haechan grinned at him, as they walked together.
"Nah, I've had better." Jaemin non-chalantly said.
Haechan looked at his friend, smile slowly getting bigger. "There's the asshole I know, glad you're back to the game, man!" Haechan with his proudest smile, shook Jaemin playfully and but the boy did nothing but chuckle.
His friends were satisfied and pretty much convinced that you were completely out of Jaemin's system. To see Jaemin go back to whatever he was before you, definitely brought back the Jaemin they knew.
"Happy birthday, man! Whew, how does it feel to be an old hag?" Haechan joked as he hugged Jeno, Jeno just playfully pushed him away.
The music was loud and people were starting to fill up Jeno's house. It's his parent's house and they were out of town, as per Jeno's request on his birthday. No one wants to party with their parents, ofcourse.
To say that Jaemin pulled off the party planning was an understatement. It was only 8pm and the party is already packed. Jaemin really outdid himself on this one, also with a little help from Haechan and Renjun.
"Happy birthday, Lee! This party is fucking lit, dude!" Yangyang, from engineering department went and greeted Jeno. "We've got Jaemin to thank for that." Jeno responded loudly, trying to communicate among the loud music.
"Yeah-- where's Na?" Yangyang asked, and Jeno was clueless as him. He knew Jaemin was in the house, he saw him earlier. But after that he never saw him again.
His eyes went around the room to find atleast Haechan or Renjun, and he only found Renjun on the side, in his phone. "He's around, somewhere." Jeno answered, bidding goodbye to the friend and walked across the room to approach Renjun.
"Where's Jaemin?" Jeno managed to ask.
"Upstairs with the girl Haechan introduced him to!" Renjun wiggled his eyebrows at Jeno, and Jeno nodded in agreement. At least he knew Jaemin was having fun.
Little did they know, Jaemin wasn't having fun.
"Come on, Jaemin.. how long does it take?" The girl whispered sexually, kissing his neck like its her last meal.
"Just.. don't talk." Usually it doesn't take Jaemin this long to get hard, but the girl just doesn't do it for him. Its been almost thirty minutes and Jaemin is getting tired, but he also doesn't want to disappoint, so he tries his best to focus on the girl, but he just couldn't.
His phone constantly vibrating doesn't help, so he grabbed it and threw it on the other side of the bed.
Jaemin closed his eyes, felt every single touch and did the worst thing he could ever do to himself. He imagined it was you.
You were touching him, kissing him and giving him warmth. It's you he's with, not this girl, not any girl. Its you. And it worked. It brought back memories of you that sparked something in his body. Small waves of pleasure started. And just as he's slowly starting to function, he heard the door open.
Jaemin's back was facing the door but the girl on his lap can see who just entered. The little mindgames in his head was interupted when the sound of the door brought him back to reality.
"What the fuck? This room is occupied!" The girl with him yelled, completely destroying the fantasy Jaemin created in his head. He's back to square one again, and this time he's not trying again.
As soon as the intruder left, Jaemin lifted the girl off his lap. "Sorry, Cindy, bab--" he can't even call her 'baby'. "--but you need to go."
Jaemin didn't wait for her answer and left her on the bed while he walked and locked himself on the bathroom.
As soon as he knew that the girl had officially left, that's when he went out to his room again. His hands finding his phone, he checked what time it is. 9pm.
Jaemin brushed his hands through his hair, frustrated and strssed.
He ignored the multiple chat that Jeno and Renjun had sent, and went to an food delivery app instead.
Delivery Status: Successful
Items: 1 Full Steak Meal with Pineapple Juice and NY Cheesecake
Total: 80,000krw
Notes: Don't skip a meal :) -J
Jaemin has been sending food to your place for the past week. In exactly 9pm, when he knew you'd usually have your dinner.
The next morning, he woke up fine. He didn't really drink much so he didn't have any sort of headaches or symptoms of a bad hangover.
The house was eerily quiet, as usual, the morning after a very big party.
He was the first to wake up and the whole house was trashed. He didn't expect anything else, ofcourse seeing the amount of people last night.
He knew all four of them was still in the house tho, maybe a couple of girls, so as the designated sober person he took the initiative to prepare breakfast. It was calming for Jaemin to take care of people.
Not long after he heard a couple of footsteps, and of course, it was Renjun.
"Mornin'" Renjun, hair sticking out everywhere, still in his clothes from last night.
"Had fun last night?" Jaemin asked, smirking.
"Didn't you read the texts I sent you last night?" Renjun asked. Jaemin's smirk disappeared.
"What text?"
"Jeno wouldn't want me to tell you this but... she was here. She was looking for you but Jeno and I didn't tell her where you were. She knew that you were here because she told us you invited her a while ago, she looks so.. tired. And then she asked Jisung, who doesn't have a clue with the whole y/n situation so he told her that you were upstairs." Renjun thought that Jaemin needed to know what happened. Jeno thought otherwise.
Jaemin felt his blood drain out of his body. He remembered someone knocking and opening the door to where he was with a girl last night, but he didn't know who it was. Jaemin's heart was racing. He was sure it was you. And he was also sure how fucked up it is to find him like that.
Jaemin didn't say anything, grabbing his keys as he left Renjun thinking if he made the right decision.
"Y/n! Y/n!" Jaemin was knocking on your door with urgency, and after a few, the door opened.
You were there. Standing in front of him but why can't Jaemin find any familiarity?
You were so different. You've lost weight. You're not you-- yet his heart still beats the same. His eyes still found warmth as you looked at him. The smile that left no trace on your face still lingered around Jaemin's memories and for that he still knows that somehow, you're still you.
"Hey." You whispered. You sounded weak.
Jaemin was about to hug you-- confront you about last night but once his eyes left the beauty that is your face, his heart skipped a beat. His body froze, he felt like time stopped.
Your shirt. Your fucking shirt. You're wearing a faded out starwars shirt.
"W-what are you wearing?"
"Oh this? Ah, right! Tell Haechan thank you for last night-" You smiled, the sweetest smile that Jaemin once loved, was now stabbing him in the chest.
"Don't..-- Why are you-- I don't understand.." Jaemin finally broke down, eyes letting go of the tears he held. You're breaking him down-- you're ruining him.
"What? You thought I was better?"
"Y/n.. don't do this to me.." Jaemin whispered. Knees giving out, yet he remained still.
"I don't know what to tell you, Jaemin. I'm everything they told you I would be."
"You're just.. cruel. My friend, y/n? My fucking friend?" In contrast with his cursing, his tone wasn't angry. It was despair.
"Will you leave me now?"
"Did you.. did you sleep with him?" Stupid question.
"I don't know, Jaemin. Did I?"
"You're.. fuck, y/n you're just cruel. Cruel and fucking unfair. Whatever did I do to you?" His voice strained. Drip-drop.
"Do you finally hate me?" Drip-drop.
Drip-drop.
Drip...drop.
"Yeah.. yeah I think I do."
And there it was. The last drop of Jaemin's feelings for you. Congratulations, y/n. You've finally drained him out of love.
---
Three days, Jaemin went off the grid. He stayed with his mom, giving himself a break.
He didn't want to contact any of his friends. At least not for now. He knew he still had that pent up anger towards Haechan, and he don't want to do anything that would result in him being violent. He knew that it was all your plan, just to get him to leave you alone.
What he couldn't understand is why Haechan did it. Haechan knew what Jaemin felt for you, like shit, he knew before Jaemin even knew for himself. He was one of the people who made Jaemin realize his feelings for you.
He wished he had listened to everybody and just left you alone. He wished he took everyone's advice and minded his own business. Maybe all of this wouldn't have happened.
Eventually he had to comeback. His school isn't very much happy with him and its not like its the end of the world. Everything is moving on but him, and nobody likes to be left behind.
As soon as his friends saw him, Haechan froze. He quickly tried and approached Jaemin. "Dude. Where were you? Everybody was looking for you--"
"Don't touch me, Lee Haechan." Jaemin wasn't angry, but he wasn't calm either. His tone is strong and firm, enough to stop Haechan from his tracks.
"Is this about Jeno's birthday?" Jaemin wanted to punch Haechan for even bringing it up. How could he?
"I swear to God if you don't step back--"
"What the hell is wrong with you, Jaemin?" Renjun was the one to interfere this time.
"What's wrong with me? This fucker slept with y/n and you're asking me what's wrong with me, Huang?!"
"Hold up-- hold the fuck up, What do you mean?" Jeno, eyes going back and forth between Haechan and Jaemin.
"She told you we slept together?" Haechan was legitamately confused.
"She was wearing your ugly ass shirt, Haechan."
"Yeah because I lent it to her? She was at the party and I accidentally bumped into her and she got alcohol spilled all over her shirt, Jaemin. So I had to fucking give her a shirt and then she ran away right after. You think I'd do that to you?!" Haechan was fully arguing with him now but Jaemin had remained silent.
Then why did you let him think that you did it? Why would you put him through this? Are you that desparate to make Jaemin hate you?
Jaemin brushed his palm all over his face. He was dumbfounded. He then plops down on the couch, deliberately thinking about the past few days he spent trying to get you off his head. And he thought he was damn near on succeeding, but the sudden information struck him down again.
And just as the tension was slowly coming down, a sudden intrusion on their room made the four of them look at the door.
"He's here? Na Jaemin!" Jiho burst through the door, passing through the three boys who were too caught in the moment to stop her.
"J-Jiho.." Jaemin stood up again, as Jiho stood in front of him.
"What did you do?!" Jiho was frustrated and angry, to say the least.
"Let's calm down," Renjun, the forever pacifist meekly attempted to delute the situation in hand.
"No! I told you, Jaemin! We told you to stay away from her!" Jiho.
"Are you blaming him? Your friend is a pathological liar who likes to play with peopl--" Jiho angrily turned towards Jeno, making the boy stop his rant.
"You're not part of this." Jiho then looked at Jaemin again.
"We're done, Jiho. I don't want her anymore. I don't want anything to do with her--"
Jiho smirked, "She left, Jaemin. She pulled out of school."
The room filled with silence, and it was so loud. Nobody wanted to say anything, partly because they were waiting for Jaemin to react.
"She-- what?" Jaemin was shocked. His body didn't know how to react. Every bones started to feel loose, it was so eerily quiet that it feels like he can count the seconds it takes for his heart to beat again.
Jiho's tears started to flow. "She was sober for six months, you know? We thought we finally fixed her-- she was doing fine. And then you-- you just had to come in and ruin everything."
"I don't underst--"
"I don't want to blame it all on you, because I know you're also hurt-- but Jaemin we begged you to stay away from her. But you didn't. You--" Jiho sat down, hands on her face, shoulders shaking.
"S-she--" Jaemin couldn't form a sentence.
"Where were you? In the past three days, Jaemin, where were you?" Jiho took a sharp breath, raising her head and looked at Jaemin once again.
"I was at my mom's..." Jaemin answered meekly.
"I found out last Thursday. When you saw us fighting at her apartment, that was when I caught her doing drugs. I was trying to--, fuck, I was trying to throw it away and then she got angry and started to talk about you. I guess she felt that you were by the door and started to talk about you.." Jaemin remembers that clear as day. The day you visibly changed right in front of his eyes.
"She left Sacred Heart last year because of the scandal. It hit her so bad, and that's when it started. She was introduced to drugs and later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Me and Jeonghan knew her from our childhood and we did our best to help her. And then she went out with Jeonghan and that's when our falling apart happened. She broke my brother's heart and I can't even blame her because I know she only did it because she wants everyone to leave her. She thinks she's a burden to everybody. And then Nurse Suh came into the picture and helped her to get free medication, and when she did, eventually her addiction stopped. And then you happened, and for a while she was so happy. But suddenly Nurse Suh cut her off and the medication stopped. That's why she drove you away, Jaemin. You know what she told Jeonghan before she left? She said that you didn't deserve to be with her."
"She can't leave, did you check the apartment?" Denial. Jaemin can't process everything yet. He doesn't want to.
"Her stuff's out of the apartment. We found this," Jiho pulled out a polaroid picture. Jiho reached out to Jaemin, swiftly before letting go of the photo.
"She's a good person, Jaemin. She's just broken. I know you did your best, but we can't help a person who doesn't want to be helped. I just hope you don't hate her forever." Jiho then walked away.
Jeno, Haechan and Renjun was silent. They didn't say anything, not to disturb their friend's moment of silence. One by one, the left the room, leaving Jaemin and a photo that had a glimpse of a moment where you were once his.
It was the picture of you and Jaemin. Happily smiling. Upon seeing the photo, Jaemin finally broke down.
At the back, there was something written.
Hi, Jaem. Thank you for the food you've been sending! Although I didn't eat it, I still know that it's delicious!! Remember when we talked about photography? How I love people's smile? Guess what? I think yours is my favorite. So please keep wearing it. You're precious, Jaem. I am so sorry for everything. I hope you get the love that you deserve. Do me a favor and forget me, will you? -y/n :)
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
"Is it on?" Jaemin was a giggling mess, infront of you as you filmed him beside you on your bed, nothing but the sheets.
"It is! Okay, ladies and gents,--"
"This man right here," You booped his nose, "Just gave me a mind blowing orgasm about.. hm, six minutes ago?" Jaemin laughed at the camera, before wiggling his eyebrows at it. "I did, one of my proudest talents."
"Shut up!" you laughed. "Anyways, Mr. Jaemin-ssi. Tell the whole world your age and what you want to be when you grow up!" You giggled, focusing the camera on his bare face. His eyes heavy, smile reaching his eyes.
"22, and yours." He whispered as he looked at your eyes instead of the camera lense.
"What? You barely said anything!"
"I just did what you told me, baby. I told my whole world what my age was and what I wanted to be." Jaemin can see the sudden rush of color on your cheeks. You frowned cutely.
"You're a loser." A tinge of smile you desperately hid made Jaemin laugh. He likes it when you pretend you don't like his corny takes.
Jaemin then grabbed the camera, now turned it to you, also nothing but the sheets and bare face. Jaemin is convinced this is what heaven must look like.
"Now to my pretty interviewer-- aren't you gorgeous?" You jokingly cleared your throat, smiled so big that it could make anyone blind.
"Hi, I'm y/n, Jaemin's pretty interviewer."
"So, my pretty girl. 5 years from now, how do you see yourself?" You were a bit unprepared with Jaemin's question, he sees it the way your smiles faltered a bit.
It took you a minute before you answered, "Better. I hope I can be better so I can take care of this little manchild." You somehow turned it light, grabbing the camera from Jaemin and pointing at him.
"Well, y/n from 5 years from now, I'm glad-- I hope, I'm still there by your side."
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
"Yeri, I've told you a hundred times, she's my mother so you need to treat her with respect!" Jaemin can't help but yell, just as he followed Yeri out of the restaurant.
"She doesn't like me, Jaemin! Gosh your mother is so-, I'm not dealing with her shit anymore, Jaemin!" Yeri yelled back, stomping her feet as she walked toward's Jaemin's car.
Yeri is Jaemin's girlfriend for four months. He went out with her upon his father's request and to his mother's dismay. His father thought Jaemin could finally settle down with a woman after you.
Jaemin can't help but grunt, looking up, frustrated and honestly just tired. Everyday he questions why he's even with Yeri. The girl did nothing but drain his wallet, disrespect his mother and treat him like a trophy boyfriend.
"She's not allowed in our apartment anymore," Yeri said as she settles herself on Jaemin's passenger seat.
"What apartment? It's my apartment and you sleep there, Yeri. And you can't just-- ban my mother from my place!" Jaemin has already forgotten the time where him and Yeri never argued.
"Did you see the way she looked at me? And you're gonna sit there and not defend me?" Jaemin admits that his mother did have a distaste with his girlfriend, but never once did his mother did anything to show that. She is not that kind of person and Jaemin's sure he's not the only one to vouch for that.
"She was trying to make a conversation and you blatantly ignored her, Yeri."
"I didn't like her tone." she rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone as Jaemin drove. He decided not to talk anymore, mostly because he doesn't want to argue anymore.
"What're we doing here?" Yeri saw that he parked outside her apartment complex.
"I need time for myself, Yeri. I can't handle you anymore." He expressed with utmost respect.
"Are you kidding me? You're kicking me out of your place?!" Yeri squealed, almost making Jaemin cover his ears.
"You can disrespect me but not my mom, Yeri."
Yeri smirked, crossed her arms on her chest, and looked at Jaemin. "You're trash, Jaemin. Such a fucking mama's boy. I bet this isn't even about your mother, huh? Still about that bitch who left y--"
"Get out or I'm gonna have to drag you out, Yeri. Please." Thankfully, Yeri did get out, but not walking away before she slams the door, making Jaemin flinch a bit. He makes sure the Yeri actually went in the building before he drove off.
He pulled out his phone, texting his mom. He decided that he'll just go back to the restaurant and apologize for Yeri's behavior. He knew that his mom was hurt, and he can't let the night pass without comforting his mom.
Luckily, the restaurant is near where he was so it took him about ten minutes to go back. Getting out of his car, he wondered if his parents are still there.
Looking further inside the restaurant, he didn't notice someone walking out the door so inevitably, he bumped and collided with a man. He quickly bows, "I'm sorry, man."
"No worries," Jaemin was a bit perplexed on how deep the man's voice is, but shrugged it off anyways.
"Felix!"
Jaemin felt his heart stop a beat. He knows that voice.
"I'm here," The man responded.
Jaemin was frozen on the spot. He was afraid to look behind him and put a face in to the voice he just heard, but he's sure as hell he's not leaving this spot without knowing who it is.
"Excuse me," This time, the woman was much closer to him as she walked pass Jaemin.
His breath hitched, time slows down as he saw the back of her head.
Before she could even take a step further, Jaemin grabbed her wrists, not thinking of anything,-- just the fact that he desparately wanted to see her face.
"Hey!-- What,-- Jaemin?"
There you are.
Jaemin gulped before blinking to see if he was just hallucinating but there you really are. "Y/N," he whispered, more to himself.
"You know him?" The man, who he assumes was Felix, asked, looking at Jaemin's hands on your wrist. It brought Jaemin back to reality, and swiftly let go of your hand.
"Y-yeah," Your cheeks burned, not letting your eyes away from Jaemin. It was like everyone else blurred out, and you two were the only ones in the room.
"You okay, man?" Thats when Jaemin realized that his jaw was actually a bit slacked, staring at you for a solid minute now. He shook his head to look at Felix,
"Yeah. Uh, y/n, how-- how are you?" Jaemin's breathing was starting to get abnormal, as he was really shocked to see you here.
"Good," you cleared your throat, "Great, actually. Uhm, Felix, this is Jaemin," "Jaemin, Felix." The two shook hands, Felix was still visibly confused but Jaemin was still stuck on you.
"Old friend?" Felix asked.
"Is that what she told you?" Jaemin, glancing on you.
"Yes?" Felix was starting to feel uncomfortable, as he had no clue what the heck is happening in front of him. You two looked perplexed and out of it, to say the least.
"I--, We need to go, Felix. Hey, uhm, Jaemin-?" It was obvious you were aghast, just like Jaemin.
Jaemin looked back at you again, "Yeah?"
"I'll see you around?" You uttered.
"Okay." Jaemin said quietly.
The two started to walk away from Jaemin, but Jaemin was left there frozen. In his own thoughts, drowing in memories about you. Everything came crashing back on him and it was overwhelming. After so long, you still had that power over him. You still manage to get his guard down.
This is fucking dangerous. Jaemin shouldn't even feel like this. One look, one word-- and its like his whole being fell again. Is destiny truly fucking with him? He took so long-- months, to get you out his system. Or at least burn it so deep inside his brain along with the memories you have. And for what? All of it being opened like a freshly sewed wound, all because of a three second interaction?
That night, Jaemin went home with a feeling so familiar. Like he wanted to find you again. Just like the first time he saw you at that cafeteria. He wonders if he'll see you again.
Actually, no. He will make sure to see you again.
---
"You can't break up with me,"
Jaemin sighed, he didn't know what else to do. This was the only way Jaemin thought of, specially after his encounter with you. He knew the effect you had on him that night wasn't the innocent 'seeing your friend after long time' type of thing. He knew there's more to it.
"I'm sorry," and he really is. He didn't want to string Yeri along, and doesn't want to give her false hope that this relationship is going somewhere.
"Is this about your stupid mom? Fine, I'll apologize!" The thing with his mom was also a big thing in coming to this decision. Jaemin likes to think that even if he didn't see you that night, this breakup was inevitable. It was coming, sooner or later.
"Don't-- don't call my mother like that, Yeri, please. And no, there's more to it. Please, I want a clean breakup," Jaemin didn't want to elaborate, he didn't want to hurt Yeri even more.
"You can't leave me, Jaemin! We have a party to attend-- I already told them about you! Do you want me to be embarrassed?" Of course. Of course its about the fucking party.
Jaemin was a trophy for Yeri. Handsome and rich, Yeri bragged about having him in her palms. Jaemin never complained about it but it does bother him. And Yeri bringing it up now just showed him how Yeri never really cared about this relationship.
"You can find a new boy toy, somewhere else, Yeri. I'm done." He's not gonna lie, there's still a pang of guilt when he walked away from Yeri. He knew it was unavoidable, yet it with you in the picture again, it does play a huge part.
"A fucking toast for the newly single man! I'm so proud of you for letting that devil reincarnate go!" Haechan was beyond sober, as he welcomed Jaemin who just came a few minutes earlier.
"You really did it, huh?" Renjun smiled, putting his arm around Jaemin's shoulder.
"Yeah, I guess." Jaemin shrugged. Every moment feels important to him. He doesn't have any idea when you'll show up again. So he better not drink even a drop of alcohol, just in case.
"Why the long face?" Jeno was buzzed aswell, completely leaning on the bar couch. Eyes barely open, he's been drinking quite a lot lately.
"Nothing," Jaemin doesn't want to say anything about you and his' encounter, he didn't want to jinx it.
The bar was loud and busy, yet Jaemin was quiet and stuffy. He does feel relieved, breaking up with Yeri was a huge weight off of his shoulder. But he can't get off his mind the words you said.
"I'll see you around?"
Where exactly is around? When will you see him? Is it in the same restaurant? Will you text him to meet? Is that Felix guy your boyfriend?
"You're such a bore, Jaemin. Not even a shot?" Its a mystery how Jeno managed to stand on his feet with how drunk he is but he still did, handing Jaemin a shot, which Jaemin refused.
"Not in the mood,"
"Whatever. Y'know, eversince that gi-"
Before Jeno could even finish, Renjun, which had a little to zero alcohol in his system quickly pulled Jeno down beside him.
"I'll sew your mouth close, Lee. Now sit down and let me fucking find the other Lee." He was referring to Haechan, which also is drunk out of his mind, but still ran into the sea of people on the dancefloor.
"I need a breather," Jaemin decided to go outside the bar, but making sure that Jeno is well situated first before leaving the poor man laying in the couch.
In every other situation, he would've loved to match Jeno's energy and got drunk as much as his best friend, but this time he is truly not in the best condition to do so.
As soon as the bar's door closed behind him, the sudden silence was almost deafening. Which Jaemin wouldn't tell if its much worse than being inside, since he was left with only his thoughts and the street in front of him.
He crossed the road into a nearby convenience store, wanting some water or any drink that could possibly soothe his mind.
"Thank you," He bowed to the cashier, as he paid for the drink in hand.
The store was empty. Just him, the staff, and some random music quietly surrounding the store.
He sat by the stools, contemplating if he should just go home. Phone dead, he disregarded the idea of calling Renjun, who he is sure would prefer to be with him in this quiet convenience store rather than to babysit two grown adults who can't seem to handle their alcohol.
Dropping the phone on the side of the table, Jaemin quietly opened and drank the coca cola he bought. He just now realized that this was his dinner. He forgot to eat. Funny, Jaemin being a big advocate of not skipping a meal, skips a meal.
The dingling sound of the door was heard, Jaemin never bothered to look because again, this is a 7/11. People come and go. A slight set of footsteps was also prominent, seemingly roaming around the store.
"Can I sit here?"
Wide eyes, heart skipping a beat. The music was suddenly gone and everything else blurred out.
"Y-Y/N." He stuttered. He can't swiftly grasp the situation before you sat down the stool beside him.
"Hi." Your hair a bit shorter, cheeks a bit fuller, carrying a shade of pink, your figure covered with a thick coat.
You placed a couple of kimbap in front of you and a coca cola, same as his.
"What are you doing here?" Jaemin, carefully picking his choice of words as to not show any signs of discomfort.
"I was passing by and.. actually, no. I followed you here." For a moment there, you sounded like you wanted to lie, but backtracked and told Jaemin the truth.
"Did you now?" Jaemin remembered when he followed you that one time, and it feels like the tables have turned.
"Yeah, figured we needed to talk." You were timid, can't barely see Jaemin eye to eye. From his memories, you were always confident with what you say. So seeing this demeanor in front of him was a change.
"How are you?" Jaemin asked, genuinely curious.
"Never been better," You answered back, with a full chest and a heave of deep breath like you were relieved.
"I'm glad," Every last word was quickly followed by a complete silence.
After a few moments of deep thought, Jaemin wasn't sure what to say. Yes, before you showed up, questions was flooding in his brain. Asking for answers on why you left, why'd you lie and most importantly, why did you break him for no reason.
Jaemin's thoughts mustve been loud, hence the next dentence that came out of your lips.
"I'm guessing you have questions?"
Maybe Jaemin should've had a few shots before, to ease the tension and gain liquid courage, because fuck, he doesn't think he can handle this tonight.
But for the months you were gone, Jaemin isn't gonna pass this rare chance that you showed up, much more, showing up to talk to him properly.
"Why'd you leave?" Three words that circulated Jaemin's mind on those months you were gone. A question he asked himself a lot of times.
You were still for a bit, likely thinking about the answer. Jaemin could explode at any moment, he feels.
"I signed myself up for rehabilitation."
This wasn't the answer Jaemin expected. Its somehow a blow, to him, because he was angry at you for flaking on him for no reason. But now that you answered one of the many questions he had, it made Jaemin regret some of the things he had thought of about you. His guilt crept in.
"I-, I didn't know."
"Only a few knew about that. You were one of the unlucky ones to have suffered from it, so I thought you needed atleast an explanation." You smiled bitterly, still looking outside, whilst Jaemin looked at your side profile.
You continued. "I assume Jiho had filled you up with some of my dilemmas after I left. But trust me, Jaemin. I never intended to hurt you. You're so undeserving of the things I did but I had to make you hate me. I knew you cared for me back then, more than I had anticipated and I never really wanted to give myself that. I knew I can't receive love I didn't deserve. And I can feel it too, Jaem.." you paused.
Jaem. Oh how he missed the way you called him that.
".. I can feel that you really wanted to fix me. And you truly tried your best. But back then I didn't want to be fixed. And its unfair to have you selfishly. I never slept with your friend, I just made you believe that. I wanted you to despise me, to never think about me ever again." Well, you failed on that part, big time.
"Just hoped you gave me a chance to take care of you," Jaemin muttered.
"I'm not that evil to give you a burden like that,"
"You were never a burden to me,"
You let out a humourless grin, "I'd like to believe that, but we both know that's not true. For as long as I remember, I had been apologizing for just.. existing."
"I could've been there, y/n. I could've helped you."
"No, Jaemin. I don't think so, cuz even then, I couldn't even help myself." You spoke with great sincerity.
Another cruel moment of silence passed, and it was the most intense yet. None of you spoke, as if your thoughts were connected and understood each other without even saying a word.
"You really fucked me up, you know." It was now or never for Jaemin. Might as well open the can of worms now, and regret everything later. He might not have the same courage and opportunity as now.
"I did. And I'm so.. so sorry."
"But it's fine, y/n. I was young and naive, I guess I needed that. I already forgave you, fuck it, I don't even need to because I never truly hated you. All I did was love you, and even after you broke me, I still did." Looking into the distance, after so many failed attempts, he finally said it out loud. He was ready to risk it all, again.
"And I knew that, Jaemin. And maybe, I did love you too but back then I didn't know what love is. It was so scary and overwhelming that even from a distance, I already despised that kind of feeling."
"Are you... happy?" Jaemin thought about the man you were with. And at this moment, your answer was crucial, as it was a defining moment of what step or path he should go next.
"Yes. Are you?" Looking at him, you saw his eyes fill with unspoken comprehension of what its like to be happy and sad at the same time.
Happy that you're doing great, sad because he had just accepted the fact that you're much better with somebody else.
"I have no idea." And that was the truth. He wasn't sure if theres a word that could describe how he feels.
"Yeri, right? I heard from someone that you're with her. She seems great," Oh, what a great timing.
"We broke up already."
You widen your eyes and smiled awkwardly, "I'm sorry,"
"No, its okay. It wasn't working anyways. It was bound to happen sooner or later. You and Felix?"
"He's a great friend. He helped me with sobriety and therapy." Friend? Is that so?
"I thought you were dating," Jaemin liked the way this is going, it gave him hope.
"No, not really, never had anyone after you."
Is Jaemin supposed to be proud? Nonetheless, he felt a slight flutter in his chest. He was about to make a decision that will ultimately trash the imaginary walls he tried to build.
"Have.. have you thought about what we could've been?" Oh, what a risky question.
"Yeah, even back then, I always dreamed about an alternate universe where I wasn't so fucked up and actually tried something with you." Okay. You seem fine now, you seem on track. It wouldn't hurt to try again, right? Jaemin wanted to slap himself. Do he really want to risk it again?
"You could still.. try." The answer is yes.
You furrowed your brows, tilted your head a bit, "I don't think you deserve another heartbreak, specially from me, you know?" You chuckled, yet Jaemin was serious. This time, he's set to have you. He has to have you.
"I'll gladly let you break my heart again, y/n. Trust me, you'll only find yourself inside."
.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.
Maybe Jaemin was setting himself up for another heartbreak, but this time he was certain. He was certain to give it his all-- everything he has to lose. You were worth every piece of his heart.
He kissed your lips like he held his entire life on it, like every moment were his last. Running your hands on his hair, you two blindly roamed around your apartment. Luckily, Jaemin still had the entire apartment sketched in his brain.
You felt his hands lower, lifting up your ass, signaling you to jump and cling onto him. You gladly did, and like a feather, he lifted you without any struggle. Lips still tangled together, Jaemin lowered you into the soft texture of your bed.
"I missed you so much," Jaemin groaned as he parted his lips from you. Seeing your face against the dimly lit room was majestic. Not long before he lowered his face onto your neck, giving it open mouth kisses that sent shivers down your spine.
Slowly, he tugged on your shirt upwards, lifted it and revealed your soft pink laced bra, covering your breast. Jaemin didn't waste time grabbed one of you breast, caressing it gently, just enough to bring you pleasure without discomfort.
"Hmm, I missed this," He groaned again.
You whined, being sensitive to every touch he gave you. His hands worked like magic, pulling down your bra and swiftly latching his mouth on your left nipple, while still caressing the other. "Ah, fuck.. baby." you moaned.
You can feel your core dripping already, desperate for any kind of friction. His expert hands left your boob, yet not leaving your skin, just lowering to the area you were sensitive the most. In a split second, your pants was undone and a cold breeze on your center gave you goosebumps all over. "So wet for me,"
"Yes.. yes, please, touch me." You begged for him. You needed him.
"You don't need to beg, princess." Just then, his middle finger applied pressure on your dripping core, igniting a spark that felt so good-- you couldn't help but buck your hips onto his hands.
He was gonna love you, and you were gonna love him. Tomorrow's uncertain, but today was sure. You were meant to be his, and he's meant to be yours.
Let your heart get what it wants. If you get hurt, then you have to endure. Jaemin endured the entire time and its your time to gamble.
While Jaemin was still devouring every inch of your skin, you took this chance to touch his clothed member- already rock hard, seeking freedom from the confinement of his pants. You traced it before gripping it through the fabric, making Jaemin hiss in pleasure.
"Take.. it off." Barely composing a sentence, Jaemin understood the assignment and pulled away, to undress himself. His top came off first, and just like a reflex, your hands quickly find his toned chest, down to his abs. You can't help but bite your lip, seeing his body again after so long. The only difference is, this time, he has a more mature build.
Tracing your hand down to his lower abdomen, and even much lower, and helped him undo his pants. As he disregarded all of his clothes, he didn't waste time and quickly lowered himself again to you. Kissing you with burning passion, he grind his hips onto yours, and you felt his hard length poking your thigh.
Using your hand, you grabbed it by the base, Jaemin reacting so sensitive made you excited. Your hands doing up and down motion, pointing finger tracing the slit on his pinkish tip.
"Fuck.. fuck baby, god." Jaemin couldn't help but groan deeply, urging you to move faster. Your movement all of a sudden halt, as Jaemin held your wrist, stopping you. "I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that." His dark voice whispered.
"Already?" You smirked at him.
"You underestimate your effect on me, baby." Truly, you were the only person who could melt Jaemin into a puddle if you wanted to.
His hand balancing himself on top of you, as the other held his cock, lining himself onto your entrance.
"Ah.. ah, shit," You moaned, caused by the stretch. A slight tinge of pain but quickly replaced by a wave of intense pleasure as he deeply plunges until you take all of him.
"So.. so fucking tight, oh fuck." Jaemin waited for your signal to keep moving. Which you did, by lifting your hips up to create any sort of movement. He swiftly pull out, just to go in again.
"I love you," Jaemin cried from pleasure, his tempo slowly gaining speed.
"I love you so much," you replied, grabbing his face to look at you as he fucks you with intense affection.
"Y/n, y/n.. I love you." He repeated like a mantra, going in and out repeatedly. You can feel your insides creating a bubble-- soon going to pop. He examines all of your features, "Cum for me." He murmured.
You nodded in response, biting your lip, yet not losing eye contact. A sudden wave of pleasure struck, and before you knew it, you're shaking under him. "I.. I love you."
"I'm cumming, shi..." You locked your legs on his waist, as he stilled so deep, reaching levels of your insides no one has ever reachex before. He cums, deep inside you and you felt his warm, thick ropes of cum paint your insides. His body collapses on top of you, heavy breathing surrounded the apartment.
Honestly, Jaemin didn't care if you hurt him again, Heck, break him again and again. Run away if you can, but he would make sure that he'll be here, always waiting for you. Break his heart for all he cares. You'll only find yourself there.
"Let's go, baby. They can't wait to meet you." Jaemin smiled at you softly, opening the car door before letting you in.
"I really get the feeling that they hate me." You nervously said, as Jaemin went around the car and sat at the driver seat.
"They actually did, back then. But now they're a lot less dumber." You laughed at him.
This was the first time Jaemin will introduce you to his friends. Even tho you knew that they already know you from the past, you wanted to introduce your new self. The self thats much better.
As you arrived at their shared apartment, you can already hear the noise behind the door. You looked at Jaemin with anticipation, as he opened the door.
"There she is! Hi, y/n!" Haechan, which you have encountered before, greeted you with a big smile. He was approaching with wide arms, which Jaemin quickly swats away.
"No." Jaemin simply says as he put his arms around you and dragged you further in the house.
There, you saw Jeno and Renjun playing Jenga. As soon as you sat down, the tower had fallen. Renjun frowning, Jeno with a big smile.
"Oh hi, y/n. Renjun just lost in Jenga, again." The cocky grin was present in Jeno's face.
"That doesn't count! We should play again, this time with y/n!"
You were quiet, but not because you were uncomfortable, but because you were slowly digesting everything. You felt so belonged with these people that its felt a bit weird, in a good way.
You smiled at them, looking back at Jaemin who's walking towards you with a drink in hand. "Thirsty, baby?" His smile was enchanting, and so, so gorgeous.
The time goes on and it all felt natural. It was the first time you saw Jaemin laugh that much, and it made you happier than ever. Then and there, you have concluded that you will never hurt this man again. This time, you'll try to make this work, because you knew he was the only one for you.
And even if the gods and the heaven above curse you for loving selfishly, you wouldn't care. Jaemin is the perfect man for you. And you can't let that smile fade again.
"What're you thinking?" Jaemin whispered, above all the noise from his friends.
"I love you."
And if you thought Jaemin's smile couldn't get any bigger, it did.
"I love you." He answered.
This time, you'll get your happy ending. You choose your happiness and Jaemin. Forever, you will choose Jaemin. Because you realize that after everything, even fiction itself, got nothing on this man.
-end-
A/N: I know it took so long to publish but again, I'm a bit busy! But how was it?? I hope you liked the first installation of my series, diary of the heart breakers! Thank you so much.
taglist: @cutiepeas @legbouk@hyuckissed @bockhyun @hibernatinghamster@shookyungsoo@sundamariis@sharkipoonis@ohmykwonsoonyoung@carelessshootanonymous
next part >> Inevitably Yours
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sincerelyneo · 19 days
Text
mark doesn't know | n.jm
“but she’s under me and i’m not stopping”
💿now playing: scotty doesn’t know by lustra
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❯ summary: You don’t even remember how it started, but Jaemin does. He’s wanted to get his hands on you the minute he met you — and he’d be damned if he let something as silly as his friend get in the way of the thing he really wants. So alas, you’ve been fucking your boyfriend’s friend for the last two months.
❯ pairings: jaemin x fem!reader (brief mark x reader)
❯ genre: boyfriend’s friend! jaemin, smut, light angst, college!au.
❯ words: 3.1k
❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, smut, cheating (boo), unprotected sex (don’t do this!), dirty talk, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, light chocking, hair pulling, begging, reader uses she/her pronouns, reader cheats on mark with jaemin.
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You don’t even remember the first time it happened; or more so, how it happened. 
"J-Jaem we really shouldn't be doing this,” you huff out as your boyfriend’s good friend sucks on the skin against your neck, right below your ear. 
His breath is hot, and his touch feels melting. 
"You say that every time, and yet, look where you are. Back with me again.”
Your next words are cut off by the feeling of Jaemin’s lips pressing against yours. You want to give in, but something's on your mind this time — guilt. 
Pushing him back, you try to move from the wall, but he keeps you there. "We can't, not again. Mark’s on his way-"
He covers your mouth with his hand. He fucking hates when you bring him up. He fucking hates that his friend is the one that gets to have you on his arm. And he certainly fucking hates the fact that he had been the one to introduce the two of you in the first place. 
You were Jaemin’s lab partner before you even knew of Mark’s name. One night when you were over at Jaemin’s house for an assignment, Mark just so happened to turn up. If Jaemin had it his own way, he would have never even planned to introduce you to his older friend — but he was the one who told you to answer the door that night. 
And God did he fucking regret it. 
The memory of you answering the door with an immediate blush and flutter of your eyelashes at Mark’s presence played on his mind every time he saw the two of you together. 
You never looked at him like that — well at least not back then anyway. 
In Jaemin’s mind, he had made it very clear that he had a thing for you. He’d made it obvious, hadn’t he? 
Well, that’s what he thought. So, when news hit that you were fucking the older boy and going on dates with him; it was safe to say that Jaemin was beyond pissed. 
And when you were the one to kiss Jaemin one late night of studying — he seized the opportunity because he’d be damned before he lost his shot with you again. And thus, the two of you fucked every Thursday night’s study session. 
"Don't. Don't say his name,” he growls, low and nasally enough to have your stomach fluttering. “Now, nod your head if you're gonna stop worrying and listen to me.” 
You nod your head almost instantly with wide eyes. You couldn’t help the way your pussy grows even more slick, threatening to pool in your underwear, at his dominant demands.
"Good girl,” he says when you obey him, finally removing his hand from your mouth.
He sinks to his knees in front of you, pushing the few dishevelled stands of his hair out of his face to look up at you.
“I’m gonna give you something else to think about." He spreads your legs apart, snaking his hand delicately around your thighs to reach under your dress and tease the waistline of your panties. 
You wordlessly look down at him. And although you're not saying no it’s not enough for him.
"Tell me gorgeous, can I have you for tonight, again?" His voice seems deeper and his tone thicker, eyes searching yours for confirmation.
You close your eyes as he starts to drag the lace down your thighs, "I need words, Y/N. Can I have a taste?" 
"Yes." You sigh out.
"Yes, who?"
"Yes Jaemin.” 
He has you lift up your feet, one at a time, so that he can remove your panties completley. Your eyes shoot open just in time to see him stuff them in his back pocket. Your body starts to throb at the sight — the sight of him being so smitten for you. 
He grabs one of your legs, hoisting it up so that it's over his shoulder, exposing your bare core to him. Jaemin wasn’t a man of withstanding, so he wastes no time working his tongue the only way he knows best — the way you like it.
He starts by licking a long stripe up your wet cunt, groaning at the taste. The sound sends ripples against your clit, making your body jolt forward further on his tongue. 
"Can't believe you wanted to deny me of this,” he mumbles, shaking his head.
He suctions his mouth on your clit, making your breath hitch in your throat. You're biting down on your lip, hard enough to draw blood, as he starts sucking and pulling on the bud. You're certain your legs would have given out immediately had he not offered his shoulder as support.
"Sorry, m'sorry.", you moan, hands coming to grip his hair but he stops you. 
"I didn't say you could touch me yet,” he smirks up at you. 
He continues licking your clit until he reaches his hand down to your cunt to join his tongue. He watches your eyes shut in pleasure; the way your hands are clenching into fists, resisting the urge to touch him, wanting to try your best to follow his orders.
The pads of his fingers go to your swollen nerves, starting to apply pressure with slow torturous circles and your head slumps back against the wall, mouth hung open as a deep moan floats out of you. He lets two of his fingers dip down to your hole, teasing you a bit before sinking them in with no resistance. 
You know you’re not going to last, and you’re too out of your mind to even feel slightly embarrassed about it. You could get down on both knees right now and praise god for those fingers of his.
"I've missed how you feel against my fingers baby, couldn't forget it, soaking wet for me just like last time,” he says, looking up at you with thick lashes. 
It has your skin tingling, and your heart thumping against your chest; so hard that it's rippling down to the throb between your legs that only worsens as he continues pushing. 
"Can feel you clenching on my fingers,” he further teases, voice like gravel as he continues to watch you in amazement. "But I bet you wish it wasn't just my fingers, hm?" 
You bite your lip to stop a moan, but then Jaemin stops the movement of his fingers, pulling a whine from you. 
"Answer me baby. You want my cock in this tight little cunt, don't you?" 
You can practically feel him smile when he nuzzles his face into your thigh, watching you struggle to respond. 
"Jaemin please just-", you choke on your words when he begins to finger you again. 
"Just what? Use your words, Y/N."
"Want you to fuck me, please, stop teasing me,” you whine frustratedly. 
"Y'know I just love to hear you beg. Gonna fuck you, promise, but I want you to cum on my fingers first,” his fingers begin to pick up pace, curling to hit the spongy spot inside to which you cry out. 
Your teeth clamp down on your lip again as you circle your hips against his hand mindlessly, earning hiss after hiss from him. 
"Yeah? Gonna make a mess of my fingers? Be my good girl?" 
You can only moan in response, your mouth dropping open with small pants coming out. You start clinging to his shoulders, trying to stay upright. The sensation of your muscles contracting, with each thrust of his fingers and the heel of his palm rubbing against your aching spot, has your legs trembling.
"So close, Jaem, I’m so close. Let me cum." 
Jaemin looks up, nodding against you in a silent confirmation that you can — and you swear you see stars. You can feel your walls deep inside cracking as he starts sending shockwaves through your body. Jaemin even has to hold you up as your leg almost collapses and your hold on his shoulder tightens.
He continues to soothe and flick over your clit even after you come down from your high, and you're too weak to push him away.
"Jaem- baby I'm sensitive,” you tell him and he finally draws back, grinning up at you with a sly smile. 
He sets your leg down, getting up from his knees to stand right in front of you, his hands cradling your face as he kisses you. 
It’s sloppy and harsh, like he needs this or he’ll die, like he doesn’t want you escaping him, ever. You can taste yourself on his tongue and you groan into the kiss, your hands fisting the bottom of his shirt.
"More- I need more,” you mumble against his lips before kissing him again. 
Jaemin brings his hands from your face, to the back of your neck, using all the power he has to —somewhat— forcefully pull you away from him. 
"You know how this works. You gotta tell me more than that," his voice is just above a whisper, a sadistic smirk on his face as he watches your eyes struggle to leave his lips.
"What do you want more of, hm? More of my mouth?" You shake your head no, and Jaemin pretends to sigh. He tightens his grip on your neck, making you look him in the eye. "If you can't use your words, I can't help you." 
Jaemin knows exactly what you want and how you want it. But he can’t help but love seeing you get all needy and frustrated. It’s his own personal reminder of how much you need him — or better yet — how much Mark isn’t satisfying you. Knowing he gives you something Mark can’t, never fails to make his cock ache. 
"I want you to fuck me,” you finally say, voice barely audible. 
"I couldn't hear you. Repeat that for me?” He taunts and it makes you want to stomp your foot in frustration. 
"Stop teasing me, please. I need you to fuck me.” 
Jaemin grins at this, wasting no time in releasing your neck so that he can pick you up and carry you to your bed — Mark’s bed.
You let out a small squeal, swatting at him to put you down. You hated the way he was always picking you up, but for him, having you wrap around his waist was his way of being as close as possible to you. He tosses you down on the bed, making you look up at him with a glare.
"Be careful dumbass." 
He raises an eyebrow, lips quirking up into that stupid smirk once again. "You've got quite the mouth all of a sudden."
Jaemin kneels down on the bed in front of you, parting your legs so that he can be in between them. 
"Just a few minutes ago it was ‘oh Jaem I’m gonna cum, don't stop please,” he mocks with a small laugh, causing you to bring your hands up to hide yourself. 
Jaemin stops you though, pinning your hands down beside your head. "Oh none of that. Where'd my bratty girl go, huh?"
The way that he barely has to use any of his strength to pin you down, plus his large and muscular frame boxing you in, has you practically drooling. 
He inches his face closer to yours, tricking you into thinking he's going to kiss you, but just as your lips graze his he turns to the side, making you kiss his cheek instead. 
"Jaemin," you whine. 
"Sorry sorry, you just looked so desperate for it, I couldn't resist,” Jaemin knows the effect his words have on you because your hips are bucking up into the air as the throbbing returns to your core.
"Want a proper kiss?" he asks, and you nod, staring up at him with pleading eyes. "Yeah? Beg." 
It's a simple command that usually would have had you scoffing, telling Jaemin to get over himself and stop teasing, but you're so needy for his touch that you give in. 
"Jaemin", you whine again — and oh does he love the way you say his name. "Baby please, kiss me, I- I need it." 
He knows that you can beg better than that, he's heard you do it plenty of times, but he takes mercy on you, partially because his own need is screaming just as loud as yours is. He lets his lips connect with yours and wastes no time ravishing your mouth. 
He growls into the kiss, bringing one of his hands to curl around your throat, adding a little pressure as his tongue explores your mouth like he's never kissed it before.
You two are a desperate mess now, as you start to work with each other until you’re both fully undressed. Breathy pants and soft moans fill the silence in the room. 
Jaemin’s towering over you, his knees poking in between your legs to probe them wider for him. You don’t resist, you don’t want to. One of his hands reaches down to fist the throbbing cock between his own legs as he rubs himself teasingly between your seeping folds. 
"Condom?" You ask, trying to think as clearly as possible.
Jaemin looks almost offended that you've asked, scoffing as he positions his tip at your entrance. 
"Since when have we ever used condoms?" 
"We haven’t. I just thought you might want to-"
You're cut off by a gasp as he begins to push into you, the familiar delicious stretch and slight burn settling in. You hear Jaemin swear under his breath, as his hips flush right against yours. 
"You just thought what?" he asks as his head dips down, nosing along your jawline before peppering wet kisses along your neck.
"I- uh,” you stutter, losing your train of thought from the feeling of him inside you; so deep and hard and rough.
You bite down on your lip. You only ever have Jaemin like this; and you can't explain the overwhelming feeling you get whenever you get to have him with no barriers, getting to be as close to him as possible — even if you didn’t deserve it. 
"It's because of him right? You're worried that he'll have to feel my cum deep in this pretty pussy of yours, aren't you?" 
And although his tone is somewhat playful, there's a bite to it. You know how Jaemin feels about having to sneak around; knew all about how he wishes you were his and his only. 
He doesn't allow you to respond though, knowing that's a conversation you'll have to have at a different time. Instead, his hips slowly begin to rut against yours, your mouth dropping open in a silent moan. 
"Fuck fuck fuck,” Jaemin groans against your ear.
Your hands are clawing at his back as his thrusts pick up pace. And as much as he loves you doing that, marking him as yours in your own special way, he redirects your hands to his hair. You immediately begin to tug at his locks, loving the way it feels between your fingers. 
He speeds up his pace. The sharp sting radiating through you, mixed with the sensation of his centre grinding against your own. His movements cause a crippling to all of your senses and creates an unbearable, but familiar, throb in the pit of your belly.
Jaemin is a mess of pants and grunts on top of you, mixed with the low moans that rumble inside of him when he circles his hips harder against you.
"I'd drag this out all night if I could, but my cock is aching for you," he grits through his teeth, snapping his hips against you one last time before pulling away.
He wets his lips, darting his eyes to yours before snapping his mouth from your neck to lean down and press an affectionate kiss against you. Both of you are inhaling sharply into the kiss when you feel him hit his cock in the deepest places, collecting the arousal there.
Your parted lips hover against each other, shallow breaths mixing together as he pulls out of you, and you whine. He starts slowly circling around your entrance like he's teasing himself as well as you. 
You gasp, when he inches forward again, going at a tortuously slow place. He had you so slick with excitement as always there's no resistance at all.  
His eyes squeeze closed as his jaw goes slack, letting out the most erotic moans. You can feel your muscles stretching out to accommodate him and it feels euphoric.
You wrap your legs around him tighter, needing to be closer, as he continues to draw his hips back and forth in fast powerful strokes, switching between kissing you harshly and whispering dirty nothings into the air between you.
You grip your fingers tighter on his hair, moving your lips to go to his neck, kissing and sucking on the skin, feeling his pulse thump harder as you do.
He hisses, clenching his teeth as his hand takes hold of your hip, digging his fingers in while his hips jolt forward, "Shit, if you keep doing that I'm not going to last.”
How needy and desperate he sounds spurs a fire in you, moaning against his skin as you push your hips back against him.
“Then don't last, I won't either, I just need you.”
You nip and suck at the heated skin on his neck, swirling your hips against him to spur him on, and he lets out a frustrated growl before he angles your hips up and draws back, snapping forward roughly. It makes your head roll back as you arch into him when he repeats the action again.
"Is this what you needed baby?" he grits, his jaw tenses as he thrusts into you abruptly.  "Wanted me to fuck into you harder? Wanted someone to fuck you properly? Wanted me to show you just how much better you feel clenched around me?"
You can't answer, only managing to gasp out short, strained moans in rhythm with his thrusts as he drives into you in sharp, deliberate motions, filling and hitting all of the places inside you that only he can.
The noises leaving Jaemin are borderline animalistic, the guttural and hoarse sound, vibrating through your whole body as he starts to fuck into you at a relentless pace.
You can feel yourself tightening and clenching around him, muscles pulling him in with each thrust as he knocks against all the right places that were already aching for him, urging you further into your orgasm.
"Shit- Jaemin, I think I'm gonna co-"
You're cut off once again, but not by Jaemin, by the sound of your front door opening. 
"Babe, are you home?"
601 notes · View notes
tddyhyck · 1 year
Note
14 FOR THAT SMUT PROMPT UGHHH, i need it 🫶🏽
threes company [ l.jn n.jm]
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i went very ham with this sry … also didn’t know what members so i did jeno x jaemin 🤭
𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 ⇢ jeno x jaemin x afab!reader
𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙩 ⇢ “how do you feel about two at once?”
𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 ⇢ smut, double vaginal penetration, threesome, slight mxm, fingering, squirting, lube, multiple orgasms, filming, big schlong nomin
𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 ⇢ 1.7k
masterlist
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“you’re taking him so well, baby,” jeno leans over you, brushing your hair from your face. your mouth is hanging open and tears are rolling down your flushed cheeks while jaemin pounds you from behind. you can barely hold yourself up as he thrusts into your pussy while his thumb is pressed against your rim making your head spin.
“she’s so fucking tight,” jaemin groans from behind you, making you clench tighter around him. jeno is in front of you, cock hard in his fist right in front of your mouth. you stuck your tongue out to take him but he just smirked down at you tapping the head against your wet muscle. you look up at him through wet eyelashes silently begging him to fuck your mouth but he wasn’t obliging.
you see jeno making motions with his eyes having a silent conversation with the boy behind you, but you don’t really care when jaemin is filling your walls up so well. until he pulls out and you sob at the emptiness, your pussy clenching around nothing making creamy wetness drip down your lips and onto your thighs.
jeno moves from in front of you and you feel so vulnerable and lonely all of a sudden empty and on full display. you’re about to roll over and protest to the two boys until a hand slaps your already red cheek.
“c’mere,” jeno says, while hands grip your hips raising you to your knees you can tell by the calloused roughness it’s jeno. once you're pressed into jeno’s chest, jaemin appears in front of you with tousled hair and sweat gleaming on his chest. he slides in front of you laying back on the soft bed. jeno’s hands have crept their way up to tweak your nipples.
“how do you feel about two at once,” he asks from below. you gasp in surprise not expecting that but not put off either. the thought makes you press your thighs together.
“i think she likes it,” jeno smirks against your neck, making you shiver.
“do you? want me and jeno to fill up your pussy?” you nod quickly.
“do you think you could handle it?” jeno asks, fingers dancing down to your wet heat. one arm gripping your waist to keep you in place while the other brushes over your clit.
“i can, i can take it.” you splutter as jeno’s fingers fill you up suddenly. jaemin grins at you from below, eyes flitting between your cunt and your face.
“can you?” jaemin teases hand gripping his cock beneath you. you feel the head press against your hole that jeno has three fingers buried deep into. whining you grind down against jeno’s hand making the head brush your entrance again. you reach down gripping at jeno and jaemin wrists to ground yourself at the intensity. jeno speeds up the sloppy sounds of your cunt filling the room along with your moans.
“oh my god, oh my god,” you cry, grip tightening on the two boys’ wrists. “i’m gonna. i’m cumming,” you mewl, feeling liquid squirting out of you, making you arch against jeno’s fingers. you look down in embarrassment seeing your squirt covering jaemin’s lower abdomen, but he just looks up at you with a grin dipping his fingers into the liquid and bringing them to his smirking lips.
“fucking wet pussy,” jeno says from behind, removing his fingers you don’t see him but he pumps jaemin’s cock making the younger groan before plunging it into your soaking hole. you whine still sensitive when he rubs against your warm walls. you lean your head back against jeno’s shoulder as you bounce on jaemin’s cock.
“full baby?” jeno whispers.
“not enough, need you,” you shake your head. reaching behind you pumping jeno’s length making him grunt against your shoulder. he pushes you down pressing you into jaemin’s still wet chest.
“pretty girl, take me so well. gonna take jeno well too right?” jaemin asks his fingers, gripping your ass and helping you move on him. you nod against his shoulder mewling when jeno leaves another slap on your ass.
you hear a cap open before cool liquid drips down your hole and onto your pussy making you shiver. you feel jeno’s large digits rubbing the slick liquid against your hole even onto the base of jaemin’s cock. you want to watch your cunt swallow them both so bad it makes you dizzy.
“wait,” you say, pushing off of jaemin’s chest and looking over at jeno, making both boys pause looking at you. “can you film? wanna see?”
“you’re so dirty,” jeno groans before spanking you again, making you fall into jaemin’s chest again. you hear him leaning off the mattress grabbing someone’s phone and fiddling with it.
“wanna see your little cunt filled up?” jaemin croons up at you before gripping your chin and pulling you into his lips, kissing you tenderly. he’s distracting you from the boy behind you whose fingers are dipping into you, pressing tightly against jaemin’s cock to fill your walls. you whine into jaemin’s mouth at the two fingers fucking into you alongside jaemin. he’s rocking you gently down onto his cock as jeno’s hand speeds up inside of you.
you pull away looking over your shoulder at jeno in a deep state of concentration, phone in one hand shaking slightly as his other pounds into you. you grip your ass spreading your cheeks as much as possible wanting so badly to feel his cock in you too.
“fuck,” you sob when he adds a third finger. his head shoots up looking at you from under his hair and smirks when he sees your fucked out expression. you’d never felt so full and so empty at once. wanting his cock to stretch out your pussy. you knew you would pay for it tomorrow but right now cock was the only thing on your brain.
“taking it so well, pretty. almost ready for my cock,” you moan when he slips his fourth finger in.
“feels good baby,” jaemin asks, making you nod your head and look back down at him. he’s so pretty, hair spread on the pillow messily and sweat beading on his forehead. you wondered if he liked it, feeling fingers alongside his cock.
“so good. so full. do you like it?”
“it’s so good baby, your tight little cunt feels so good around me. jeno’s practically giving me a handjob,” he says looking down at you. you want to make a smart comment about how he would like that but you don’t get a chance to answer before jeno’s fingers leave you. you can’t be sassy because the head of his lubed up cock is pressing into you making your eyes roll back.
“so fucking tight,” you hear jeno hiss, gripping your ass as he fills you up.
“oh fuck,” you groan into jaemin’s neck as jeno bottoms out. “so fucking full. shit.” you feel hands gripping your sides, hips everywhere. you feel them all over you and in you.
“please move please fuck me,” you moan, biting jaemin’s neck when jeno finally pulls out before thrusting back in softly. you hear jaemin groaning in your ear and jeno grunting behind you. they’re filling your brain, taking over all your senses, you hear them, taste them, feel them, smell them, and see them everywhere.
“so fucking tight,” jeno groans you can tell he’s holding back from fully blowing your back out.
“don’t hold back please,” you whimper as loud as you can. jeno listens, gripping your hips tighter before speeding up. you felt your cheeks growing wet again you weren’t sure if it was tears or drool, but you didn’t care either way.
“can’t believe you’d let us both fuck you. knew you were a slut,” jeno says through gritted teeth. you clench at his words making both men groan out at the tightness. “and you’re so fucking wet, soaking us both and the sheets.”
“you’re dripping baby,” jaemin adds. you can’t feel the juices that are practically pouring out of your cunt like a leaky pipe. you only feel the cocks drilling into you bringing you closer to the edge of a cliff you’d never been to before.
“fucking shit.” jaemin moans his fingers digging into your hips. you feel the knot in your stomach tighten as his cock twitches against your walls. was it even his cock or jeno’s?
“gonna cum jaem?” jeno asks over your shoulder and you feel jaemin nod. you press your lips to his neck and move your fingers that had been gripping his arm up to his nipple tickling at the skin around it before brushing over the sensitive nub. you tried to focus on him, upping his pleasure but all it did was up yours. feeling him tense beneath you had you reeling. you loved that he was enjoying it, not just you.
“so fucking good. holy shit, gonna fill you up,” he says before pressing his head back into the mattress with a groan. and that was all you needed feeling his hot cum squirting inside of you and jeno drilled into you and you were cumming. harder than you ever had legs shaking between theirs, eyes rolling, mouth hanging open a cry trying to leave your mouth before getting caught in your throat.
“shit,” you don’t know who it is at this point, walls fluttering around them, milking jaemin’s cock. you can feel the cum being fucked out of you forming a white ring around both cocks.
“fuck jeno,” jaemin groans. you know jeno is loving this both of you under him being driven into overstimulation.
“i’m close, just a little more,” jeno grunts sloppily fucking into you. you’re whimpering into jaemin’s neck gripping his shoulder when jeno finally cums, making you shake. he thrusts deeply into you as his cum fills you, mixing with jaemin’s inside of you before stopping. there’s no talking for a moment, just heavy breathing.
“fucking hell,” jeno finally says pulling out of you before lifting your hips causing jaemin to slip out of you. jeno spreads your cheeks bringing the phone between your legs watching the mixture of cum drip out of your pulsing, spent pussy.
“you did so well,” jaemin says, brushing your hair from your face. you whimper when jeno’s fingers graze your lower lips.
“dude she just came like 4 times and had two dicks in her, let her breathe,” jaemin said to the other boy.
“right sorry,” he apologizes, making you laugh before hearing the ping indicating the recording had stopped.
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© tddyhyck
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onyourhyuck · 9 months
Text
Red Light. | N.JM
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— Prologue: “Baby just the tip, i promise.”
— Summary: You and your boyfriend Jaemin get the cab back home however, your boyfriend can’t keep his hands off you.
— Genre: Smut. Cockwarming. Public sex literally at the back of the cab. Needyboyfriend!jaemin. Exhibitionist. Slight voyeurism Jaemin. Mention of first time squirting. Jaemin’s literally pussy starved this man cannot wait. Unprotected sex. The name terms used ‘good girl’ ‘pretty slut’. They get caught at the end.
— Notes: This trope does something to me.
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Your boyfriend and you decided to get the cab home after having a double date dinner with your friends. The night ended when you and Jaemin couldn’t wait anymore. During the entire dinner let’s just say your boyfriend was literally touching you at every end of your will considering how good you look it’s a torture to stare and sit still. Your boyfriend can’t wait. You didn’t know what else to do except to call early and tell your two friends you need the cab.
“Yeah sorry Mark, something came up. It was nice having dinner though with you guys.” You fake a smile at your friend and Mark being the gullible person he was believed you.
He believes that you actually had something important coming up. You’re glad your friend trusts you so much considering you’re now fighting between your inner conflict of slapping your boyfriend’s hand under the table that’s right at the hem of your panty line ready to sneak his touch in between your two pretty thigh gaps touching his hands.
You wish your frown was visible but you couldn’t make your expression obvious so now you’re just squeezing your thighs together hoping your boyfriend gets the memo that he can’t be doing this in a public restaurant, in front of your two friends.
“Yeah… I promise I’ll make it up for you, right Jaemin?” You now said turning to your boyfriend with a hidden glaring smile and your voice was hoarse and gritty when speaking to him.
Your boyfriend turns his blank gaze to Mark and his girlfriend who are watching the both of you. There was some tension between you guys especially when your expression fell into hard solid form when speaking to your boyfriend about the problem that came up. “Hm? Oh yeah, we definitely will reschedule our double date on a better day.” He says and you turn your sharp glare away standing up with your dress and Jaemin was quick enough to take his hand away from between your thighs.
Leaving the restaurant wasn’t easy either. Jaemin’s hands always found a way to grope around your waist or your ass down below your dress you keep trying to fight the urge to snap at him. You have no idea why your boyfriend was deciding to suddenly out of nowhere act out like this.
Once the cab arrives in front of the restaurant you snuck in first and Jaemin goes inside after you. The black cab had tainted windows in the back and he found that to be convenient knowing that he will not have the patience to get back home to take a taste of you. Your cab driver starts to drive when you direct him to the address of your house.
Hand snuck around your waist and Jaemin’s face was hidden on the nape of your neck breathing and taking in your scent. It was sweet and warm. It reminds him of coffee in some way. Your breath quickens when his hands caresses your thighs going up, and up, until he reaches the higher ground. Your eyes shift to your boyfriend’s stoic face that shows no emotion but flatness. You knew damn well what he was feeling behind those black eyes.
Jaemin whispers near your face, his hot breath drawing on you as if you were a white blank canvas and he was the painter. “Get on my lap baby, I need to be inside of you.”
The words he tells you were so simple but so complex knowing that you’re literally in the back of the cab on your way home and the ride from the city back to your house will be a little longer drive especially with the night life traffic going on. You want to cuss knowing how much your boyfriend’s mind was already made up. There’s no point trying to change his decision. He already knows what he wants and he needs you.
Your eyes widen as did your perfectly red lips. “Jaemin you can’t be serious right? We’re on our way home can’t you wait for a minute?” You snapped quietly knowing the driver could hear even the slightest of yells.
The situation was already arousing so much, Jaemin hearing your sharp snapping makes him think how attractive you are when you’re angry or even scolding him? Jaemin can’t handle much of your voice either he just keeps imagining flashbacks of you moaning everytime he was inside you. All those memories keep invading his brain and sight. It’s all he can see and hear nowadays was just you moaning out his name while you’re being a pillow princess in your shared double bed.
“I can’t wait. You kept me waiting long enough Y/n.”
He shakes his head as if this was already decided between the both of you. If it’s done discreetly than none of you will get caught and that’s a happy ending right?
You feel his hot breath against your cheek while his mouth plants soft and slow kisses on your jawline and down your neck just above the jawline he has just kissed. As if he was waiting for your approval. But of course he knows you will into the idea, you never leave your boyfriend behind when he wants something from you. “Baby just the tip, i promise.” He softly whispers into your ears bringing the face back up to be next to your pierced ears wearing those pretty diamond earrings.
You thickly swallow your saliva building in your mouth knowing how you’re starting to vision how he would be only inside you, not moving and not doing anything. It wouldn’t look weird if you’re sitting on your boyfriend’s lap. The driver up front wouldn’t even notice.
“Okay just the tip.” You whisper slowly. Jaemin gave a little smirk knowing you’re about to move on to his lap. The body weight pressing on his crotch while Jaemin was sneaky enough to wrap the hands on the surface of your beautiful thighs while you feel the zipper pull down below and the harden crotch pressing against the crack of your ass just makes you shiver. You’ve never done something like this with your boyfriend or even with your past lovers; but this wasn’t nearly as exciting as anything you did before and this new level of excitement and intimacy you’re about to unlock with Jaemin.
Your boyfriend pressed the tip on your entrance and slowly and surely pushed inside feeling your walls growing on him like it was a circle squeezing and squeezing him out of you even more. Your mouth parts like the waves landing on the shore as the intense pressure forming from down below stretching you out much. Your hand pressed over your mouth and you bite your palm to make any noise die off.
He slips out low groans at the back of your neck kissing down your spine while you are seating on your boyfriend’s lap casually watching your hands curling up into a ball. The warmth and fullness of your body giving him so much ecstasy.
It was unbelievable how good it feels to be inside you not moving or doing anything but it was just as intense as if he was moving around.
Your eyes waver when your boyfriend spread his kisses on your shoulders as his hands caress up and down your thighs. Your stomach was at its wits ends right now. “You feel good? I feel so good… I missed your warmth so much.” Jaemin whispers bringing his lips to your ears giving it a small loving kiss.
You breathe out heavily. “Mhm…” and your mind goes to wander many things as you try not to move too much. The back of the cab starts to move again and now you’re going through these speed bumps which makes your bodies rock even more against each other while pressing your back against his chest.
Jaemin groans deeply suddenly while he sucks on your neck, the intimacy of your bodies rocking back and forth like a carousel would makes your brains turn off and the electric impulses you feel running in your blood making it go warm when your boyfriend was kissing your skin and sucking on it causing gentle reddish marks to form. “Fuck… baby move your hips against me gently.” He pleads nearly.
You bite your tongue as you do as he said, your hips rut in small movements at the backside while you’re sitting on the lap. “Fuck, Jaemin…”
Watching you moan his name like that while trying to be quiet wasn’t working in your boyfriend’s favour, it was making your boyfriend go ballistic hearing how pretty you sound. He can’t get enough of you. It wasn’t enough for him no matter what you’re doing Jaemin keeps wanting you as if you’re gravity pulling him down with you.
His hands move inside your panties now when you least expected as you’re focusing on your body steadily keeping it on his lap as the cab shakes time to time you didn’t want to fall off. Your boyfriend was sly and he slowly rubs circles on your clit which makes you flinch at the sudden contact of his long slender fingers creating a new pleasure to enter your body. It was filling your head with joy. To feel your boyfriend down there rubbing you in circles while the driver was driving.
Trying to not make it so obvious what you’re doing you start to struggle holding it in. Jaemin saw how your eyes were watering and you’re trying not to press too much pressure otherwise you would’ve moaned a much louder tone.
“My pretty slut enjoys getting fingered by her boyfriend in the back of the cab? Oh my… Y/n you’re so dirty.”
You close your eyes as Jaemin pushed in the fingers into your wet hole making small wet noises to come out between your shaking legs as his cock was bending your walls with powerful thrusts. The intensity of him inside your interior womb was just rubbing your shoulders by his forehead while pressing such deadly wet kisses on your body, while he was nastily moving his fingers roughly in and out of you. All your broken voices in your head was killing you to let them out.
It never crossed your mind once to think your boyfriend would ever be like this in public with you.
Somehow this makes it even more arousing than you might of expected it to be. You hate how your boyfriend’s touches were engraved to your muscle memory. Every part of him was a memory you remember. It just makes your walls crumble and your guard will always be lowered when your boyfriend touched you. He knows your love language was physical touch as well and this made it all so much harder to ignore your boyfriend.
“Fuckfuck… Jaemin… stop we will get caught.” You eagerly tell him when you’re feeling your stomach flipping upside down.
Jaemin smirks with his eyes watching yours. They were so crystal clear and they are watering at every second the fingers slipping out of your wet cunt. “You think I actually care if we get caught baby? Darling don’t be afraid and give our cab driver a good show.”
He was teasing you, it’s obvious but in the moment you feel everything hitting you with all hundred percent. You bite on your inner cheek as the pace of the fingers were increasing the amount to bury deep in your sweet soothing cunt as your breath quickens and now your chest was pounding full on with your heart racing at each moment he was latching at your body keeping you close.
You moan into your palm hurriedly, your moans were getting too hard to keep track of. Jaemin’s fingers were kissing your thick and soft walls while his free hand was running in your thick and silky soft hair, as if he was brushing them away from your face so he can see how red your cheeks were.
In your mind you were a literal mess. Shaking and trembling with your weight pressing on the lower body with your boyfriend’s cock deeply buried twitching while he occasionally thrusts inside while your nub was quickly teased between the two fingers.
Jaemin’s thumb and index finger pinch at your clit causing you to cry out suddenly while you had your teeth biting at your own tongue.
“Ah! Shit… shit… m’feels so good.” You mumble you couldn’t even think of anything else to distract yourself from this. All you had on your mind was how much you want to cum on his fingers. Even the scorching knot heating your abdomen below was threatening to burst.
Jaemin knew you were about to release before you knew it yourself. It’s like you couldn’t even keep track of your own body’s release and Jaemin was making sure your body remembers him so much you’re going to scream his name out. It was like a promise song he will always keep you at.
The release you didn’t even know was coming had you suddenly moaning much louder and you failed to keep it inside as you bury your head in your two palms out as your boyfriend’s fingers were rubbing fanning up and down on your red swollen causing clit causing your folds to tear open a powerful orgasm with your own pussy juice making your legs split open and shatter as it all falls out of you like a thunderstorm before the calm.
It didn’t even occur to you that you’re about to cum but your boyfriend had you thinking so much you were blanking out in between the intense moments of his hand between your thighs while he was inside your cunt so deep you can barely describe how far he was inside of you.
Jaemin’s trousers were wet and he was enjoying your leak so much he didn’t stop moving the fingers against your clit as he made you spill so much more. At this point you were bouncing on his lap as you’re crying out with pleasure for your own salvation and help right now.
“That’s it, good girl… good girl.” Jaemin coos against your face kissing your cheek as you’re here breathing and panting heavily with your half eyelids open.
At the same time he saw your droopy expression telling him how good you’re feeling. It must’ve been like you were put into a different dream, or perhaps it feels like a dream to you knowing how good your body was under going underneath what he caused you to feel.
“Ahh… fuck I came… ahhh no way…”
You whimper a few curse spells while you try to move on the lap while your boyfriend’s cock was still buried deeply in your folds. All your orgasm was creaming now against the tip of his shaft.
Your brain took a few seconds to register that you squirted all over the cab flooring and his trousers. Now it was everything so wet you didn’t even think you could orgasm this way. Your dress was slightly crumpled up. Your boyfriend’s clothes are wrinkled and wet from your squirting. Your eyes were feeling heavy as much as your red lipstick was stained when Jaemin brought his face over to rub his thumb over your bottom lip that has little drool from your moans.
The lipstick smudged over to your corner of the lips and the chin while Jaemin looks at you, you look like a messy considering your hair was slightly more messy and you press your mouth together softly when you’ve calmed down.
“Where are we…? Almost home?” You mumble and Jaemin looks up front with a smile seeing how your cab was at the red light.
“We’re at a red light, princess.” He whispers brushing some hair out of your face. Your eyes were tired and you manage to see up front the driver gawking his attention over at you both in the back seats while his eyes glued to you and the entire mess at the back of the cab while your boyfriend was having his hands possessively wrapped around your waist.
The driver shakes his head in slight disappointment and also shock knowing what you guys did there but he didn’t say anything. But you knew deep down some minor shame and at the same time your heart was shattering in embarrassment.
But your boyfriend? He had no shame. He was shameless and smirking as he squeezed his arms around you some more.
“Since we’re at a Red Light, can you give me another orgasm Y/n?” The shameless smirk on Jaemin’s face makes you think he must be the incarnate of the devilish spirit. “I think our driver wants to see more of you…”
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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank youu! Reblog this fic and follow my blog for more!
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mrkis · 9 months
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the way life goes — six(final). (n.jm)
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PAIRING: na jaemin x reader GENRE: angst, fluff, smut, college au WORD COUNT: 18.5k
SYNOPSIS: it's crazy how everything had came to be in your life, you didn't expect anything to happen the way it did. but you suppose that's the way life goes.
CHAPTERS WARNINGS: absolute mess and head fuck as twlg always is, angsty just how i like it, mentions of heavy emotions, dumb reader and jaemin moments, eunbin and jaemin moments, mentions of alcohol and weed, explicit language (a lot of cursing), kissing, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex,
[series m.list]
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Jaemin sleeps soundly for the first time that night.
He would argue that it’s probably the best sleep he’s had in ages—covered in blankets, wrapped up in your arms with his head resting on your chest, legs tangled together… he felt at peace.
He’s pretty sure he dreamt for the first time too. No recurring nightmares appearing or dreamless nights where he wakes up groggy, confused and lonely.
He dreamt. He dreamt of him, he dreamt of you. You looked so pretty—you always look pretty. You were smiling, you were laughing all while holding onto his arm and pointing at the sky. The sun was setting; a mixture of yellows, oranges and pinks. It would’ve been a beautiful picture to capture, especially with your silhouette in the shot.
The group were there too, running across that sand barefooted, screaming and shouting as the cold sea came to shore. But he wasn’t focused on them. He has his eyes set on you. 
But, much to his dismay, he wakes up before he can even finish the dream, and he wakes up alone.
His hand runs across the bed, a frown settling on his features at the cold touch of the sheets pricks his fingertips. Jaemin lifts himself up on his elbows as he stares at the empty spot with fuzzy vision, hair sticking in different directions and muscles aching. 
You’ve been out of bed for a while, He thinks while he sits up, sleeping rubbing at his face as he swings his legs over the side of the bed to stand up. He wobbles across his floorboards, blindly reaching in the dark to retrieve a clean pair of shorts to tug them up his legs to cover his modesty, fumbling to get to his bedroom door.
Jaemin steps out into the vacant hallway, squinting at the light that blinds his eyes as he walks towards the bathroom, dripping the doorknob and twisting with a call of your name, fully expecting you to be sitting on the toilet or even in the bathtub as he peers his head inside but grunts as he’s met with complete darkness, and a empty room.
His brows draw together in confusion as he pulls the door shut, turning to look over his shoulder to eye the closed bedroom doors of the other boys, not fully sure if they all came back home last night after they all ventured to the girls apartment.
Jaemin hovers outside of Yangyang’s bedroom, debating whether to open it up and take a quick peek inside to see if, for some reason, you were in there. But he’s met with darkness yet again, and an empty bed. 
He feels a little uncomfortable and majorly confused, flashbacks of waking up alone after his last night with Eunbin before she disappeared repeats in his head and he feels the panic build up in his chest, trying his best to calm his erratic heartbeat as he ventures downstairs and into the kitchen to grab himself a glass of cold water but flinches in shock when he switches on the light and sees Donghyuck sat alone at the kitchen island with his hand shoved in a cereal box.
Jaemin stares at him in bewilderment, “What are you doing?”
“I’m eating” Donghyuck answers simply, giving him an odd look as he shoves another handful of cereal into his mouth before bringing his attention back to his phone that lays across the marble countertop, scrolling through instagram. 
“Where is everyone?”
“Shotaro’s in his room sleeping, Renjun is with Haru and Yangyang and Jeno are walking Y/N back home”
Jaemin does a complete double take. “Walking her home?”
“She said she wasn’t feeling too good when we came in, caught her just by the door… was afraid she was going to throw up or something” Donghyuck explains to Jaemin who grows even more confused. “We were going to call her a cab but she said she wanted some fresh air so Jeno offered to walk her home. Yangyang tagged along because he got worried”
The panic inside of Jaemin builds at the thought of you not feeling okay, trying his hardest to remember how much alcohol you drank a few hours prior just in case you got too drunk, but he knows you didn’t drink that much and you were completely sober when you got back to the house. He then tries to remember if something had happened when the two of you were together in his room and if he had done something wrong or something to hurt you when you had slept together, but nothing comes to mind, he’s stuck. 
Jaemin leaves Donghyuck alone in the kitchen as he runs back upstairs, not bothering to continue on with the conversation as the latter shouts nonsense behind him about what could’ve possibly happened, too busy searching for his phone to call you.
It rings once, twice, three times before it goes to voicemail and Jaemin huffs, tapping the call icon again and sandwiches his phone between his cheek and shoulder to listen to it ring once again as he yanks open his closet in search for some pants and a shirt, desperate to find something to wear so he can head over to your apartment. 
“She’s home safe, you know” A voice interrupts from behind and Jaemin whizzes around to see Jeno standing in the doorway with his hands shoved deep into his pockets, head tilted to the side as he stares with Jaemin with an amused glint in his eyes when he sees the heap of clothes in front of him. “You can calm down”
“Is she sick?” Jaemin asks, pulling the phone away from his ears when it goes to voicemail yet again and he frowns.
“She doesn’t really seem herself,” Jeno admits, pressing his lips together as he figures out how to word his next question. “Did something happen between you both?”
“What? No” Jaemin's eyebrows furrow at that. “We’re fine. We talked when we got home—about the party and whatever. She was going to tell me something but we got carried away… did she say something to you?”
“Not a word” Jeno shakes his head, shifting on his feet as he straightens his back. “I don’t know if you know but Eunbin—”
“Dude, I don’t give a fuck about Eunbin right now” Jaemin cuts Jeno off with a deep sigh, his arms falling to his sides in exhaustion and annoyance. “Ever since she came back, all you guys have been doing is throwing her name around and shoving conversations about her in my face… I don’t care about Eunbin”
“Funny” Jeno scoffs, his tongue prodding at his cheek as he rips his hands out of his pockets to curl his fist around Jaemin’s bedroom door handle. “For someone that claims they don’t give a fuck about Eunbin, you sure hang out with her a lot”
Jaemin grits his teeth, “You know it’s not like that”
Jeno’s brows raise at that, “Do I?” And with that, Jeno slams the door shut, leaving Jaemin alone in his room with his thoughts.
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 Walking out and ignoring Jaemin after spending the night with him is probably one of the stupidest decisions you have ever made, and you have made a few. 
A big part of you wanted to stay—to blurt out your full feelings and admit that you have grown to like him in a way you promised not to, but the conversation with Eunbin and lying about how there were no feelings involved weighed heavily on your chest and you felt guilty.
You felt guilty for lying, guilty for sleeping with him after telling Eunbin that you’d stop, guilty for leaving the second he fell into a deep sleep, guilty for not being selfish and getting what you want. 
But, as always, you’ve never been selfish. You’ve always been selfless, you like making other people happy even if it means hurting yourself. It’s a flaw that the girls have grilled you for more times than you can possibly count. 
You never learn, you never listen.
When Yangyang and Jeno walked you home that night, you could feel their curious and doubtful gazes on the side of your head, desperate to ask what was actually wrong and why you decided to leave early, clearly not taking the ‘I’m sick’ comment as an excuse. You hate how well they know you, but you were grateful they didn’t push for a real answer, there was no way you could be honest to them about what happened at the party. 
“What’s wrong?” Miwoo questions you the next morning at breakfast and you feel your shoulders slump. Miwoo, on the other hand, pushes for the answer while Haru observes, staring at you until you break yourself. This is not what you need. “You’ve been weird since you got home late last night”
“Hungover” You simply lie, twirling your spoon around the cereal bowl. “I drank too much”
Miwoo scoffs at that, “You hardly drank”
“I agree” Haru chimes in softly, watching you over the rim of her coffee as she takes a sip. 
“Nothings wrong,” You tell them.
“Okay”
“Stop it” You warn, pointing your spoon in Haru’s direction menacingly as if it will help, not appreciating the way the corners of her lips lift up in amusement. “I don’t like it when you assess me with your eyes, makes me feel nervous”
Miwoo grins, leaning on her elbow smugly. “Why would you be nervous if there’s nothing wrong?”
You huff in frustration, sliding down in your seat with a frown as you shove a spoonful of cereal in your mouth to not utter a single word to them, casting your eyes down to your bowl as they stare into you, waiting for you to crack. 
You hold your ground, refusing to make eye contact with any of them as you continue eating your breakfast but the quietness that surrounds you three with the occasional crunch of cereal and sip of coffee makes you feel like you’re losing your mind.
“Fine” You immediately crack, your spoon clanging against the bowl as you drop it, crossing your arms over your chest as you turn your head towards Miwoo. “I’ll speak if you tell us why you’re spending so much time with Sunwoo”
Miwoo gasps, palm of her hand slapping against her chest in shock. “Don’t turn this on me”
Haru slowly cranes her head to Miwoo almost comically. “Interesting”
“I saw you talk to him last night so I’m sure he spilled on what I asked from him” Miwoo tuts with a shake of her head. “I just wanted to have some fun and Sunwoo carries a lot of the fun. He didn’t give me anything, but I did sit down with him for like an hour and talked… It was strange, a good strange” 
You stare at her quizzically as you ask, “Do you like him?”
Miwoo snorts. “No. Since breaking up with Jeno, I’m done with relationships for now. I don’t need them”
“But?”
“But I like to think as myself as ‘sex positive’ so if the opportunity comes around where I can get dicked down then—”
“Okay, your turn” Haru cuts her off as she directs the conversation towards you, staring at you expectedly and you mentally groan, biting down on your inner cheek for even agreeing to spill the truth if Miwoo did first.
Honestly, you didn’t think Miwoo would actually talk about Sunwoo. You expected her to change the topic, to talk about something else like she usually does but of course, with just your luck, she was honest.
You sigh deeply, clearly a little frustrated and annoyed but you know your friends mean well. They’re curious—worried—about your sudden mood drop and how weird you’ve been acting since last night. They’re looking out for you, they care.
“I think I’m going to stop sleeping around with Jaemin” Your confession makes the girls freeze in confusion and shock, staring at you across the table and silently pleading for you to continue and explain. “I just thought that maybe it’s been going on for too long, you know”
Haru gives you a disappointed look, “You didn’t talk to him, did you?”
“I couldn’t” You shake your head, knowing what she’s hinting at. Your feelings towards Jaemin. “I couldn’t do it”
“Talk to him about what? How much you like him?” Miwoo asks nonchalantly as she takes a sip of her juice and your head snaps towards Haru for outing you out but she shakes her head, putting her hands up in defence and Miwoo snickers softly, “I figured it out. I’ve known for a while. I was just waiting for you to admit it out loud”
You frown deeply, “Is it that obvious?”
“Not really” Miwoo hums before sending you a smile, “I just know you. You're one of my best friends”
You blink at her sudden kindness, “Well that’s sweet”
Miwoo shrugs her shoulders with a smug grin as she leans back comfortably in her seat, “I try sometimes”
“I still think you should talk to him” Haru brings up the topic once again and your stomach flips with anxiety, a weight laying heavy on your chest. “You won’t know if he feels the same unless you talk to him about it”
“What if talking about it makes it worse?” You ask, voicing your fears with a shaken tone. “What if I’m standing there—blurting out my entire feelings and telling him that I broke the most important rule we made and then he rejects me or something?
“Rejection happens” Haru tells you quietly, giving you a small but tight lipped smile that does nothing to calm your nerves. “Rejection is a part of life. Sometimes it’s unavoidable, sometimes it’s not, but it happens. I think rejection helps us grow too. Sure, it fucking sucks but it’s a pain that will be forgotten in the long run. It’ll be okay”
“Also, there would be something seriously wrong with him if he rejected you” Miwoo chimes in, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at you from across the table. “I’d date you if you confess your undying love to me”
You can’t help but smile in amusement at that, the corner of your lips twitching upwards. “Thanks, Miwoo”
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Maybe you should’ve been completely honest to the girls on why you wanted to stop sleeping with Jaemin, and although you did admit a few of your worries like rejection and heartache, the thought of what Eunbin had asked of you left a bitter taste in your mouth.
You did weigh the pros and cons when you were alone in your room getting ready for the day. The pros being that they would have comforted you to the extreme, perhaps maybe even talked some sense into you and told you that it’s okay to be selfish every once in a while. 
The cons felt heavier, intense. They would have gotten mad, at you and definitely at Eunbin. Haru has always been silent but deadly with her anger while Miwoo has, without a doubt, been more physical and verbal. She would get her hands dirty if someone had hurt you, Haru or anybody she cared about, even herself. 
You didn’t want to cause a fight, that would be a little too dramatic.
You lean back in your chair at the library with a sigh, stretching out the aching muscles in your back and arms before placing down your pen and flexing out your fingers, the numbing sensation spreading to the tips, having been holding your pen in the same position for so long left a dull throbbing in your hand.
The heaps of notes, books and Donghyuck’s laptop that you borrowed from him once again splayed out in front of you proves how long you’ve been studying inside the library, and you mentally curse at yourself for spending your free period cramming all your work into one instead of grabbing a coffee with the others.
But you had your reasons.
A stack of books slam down on the desk in front of you and you jump in fright at the sudden noise, eyes widening in shock as your head snaps up to the culprit, ignoring the sounds of other students around you shushing you or warning you to be quiet as you see Jeno.
Usually, you would’ve scoffed and calmed down once settling your attention on Jeno, but with his jaw clenched and dark eyes staring at you through the messy strands that fall in front of his face, it’s hard for you to calm down. In fact, it makes you feel more scared. 
“Why are you ignoring Jaemin?”
“I’m not!!” You splutter, shaking your head. You are. “Keep your noise down, we’re in a library”
“I don’t care about the library” Jeno scoffs, pulling out the chair vacant opposite you and making himself comfortable, crossing his arms over his chest as he stares at you expectedly. “Why are you ignoring Jaemin?”
“I told you, I’m not” You lie, gesturing towards the mess in front of you. “I’ve been busy with my assessments. The college life is stressful, you know”
“So it has nothing to do with the conversation you had with Eunbin?” That throws you for a loop and your lips press together tightly, unable to control the emotions that are easily now written upon your face and Jeno sighs, dropping his head low with a shake before looking back up at you. “What happened?”
“Nothing—”
“Come on, you know you can’t lie to me,” Jeno says with a teasing smile. “Talk to me. I promise I won’t tell a soul” You give him a disbelieving look, “Okay, depends on what is it because sometimes I can’t keep my mouth shut when talking to Donghyuck—”
“Jeno” You cut him off with a frustrated sigh, rubbing your hand across your forehead at the headache that forms. Jeno frowns deeply at you, his efforts of making you laugh and crack a smile fails him, letting him know that whatever happened between you and Eunbin must’ve been serious. 
He calls your name softly and your hand drops to your lap as you gaze up at him, hating how worryingly he’s looking at you right now but you bite back any comment you want to make, swallowing thickly before you begin to talk again.
“I don’t want to continue being official and sleeping with Jaemin anymore” You admit, the heavy weight laying on your chest once again as Jeno’s eyebrows raise in shock. “I have been avoiding him… but that’s because I’m nervous to have the conversation with him. I’m making it worse”
Jeno’s quiet as he mumbles, “How come?”
“Feels like it’s gotten a little out of hand” You laugh softly, embarrassment filling your tone as you stare awkwardly at your fidgeting hands. “Rules were broken—important rules. I ended up breaking the main one”
Jeno takes a moment to register what you had just admitted, remembering the five rules Jaemin had told him during the early stages of your friends with benefits situation, and everything slowly begins to sink in, a genuine smile threatening to spill onto his lips as he stares at you, “You like him”
You nod quickly, feeling awkward and embarrassed for admitting something to someone like Jeno: Jaemin’s ultimate best friend. You feel a little stupid too, but you push down all regrets and worries as you mutter, “But I can’t like him”
Jeno’s eyebrows furrow, confused. “Why not?”
You finally meet his eyes across the table, giving him a tight lipped smile as the words pour from your lips. “Because Eunbin likes him too”
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Jeno promised he wouldn’t tell anyone about your conversation with Eunbin after he made you explain everything in detail, wrapping his pinky tightly around yours to seal off the promise. 
The look of anger and annoyance written across his features worried you a little and at some point you were afraid he was about to burst and curse up a storm, but he kept his cool (much to your surprise) despite his facial expressions giving away exactly what he was thinking.
He accompanies you for his entire free period despite you telling him that you’re fine without the company but he ignores you as he pulls his phone out of his pocket, kicking his feet up on the empty chair beside him as he mindlessly scrolls. You scoff as you catch him glancing over at you from time to time. 
Jeno also decides to come with you when Donghyuck demands his laptop back when he and the others return from getting coffee, sending you an interesting text with a bunch of emojis and light-hearted threats if you don’t return his ‘prized possession’ back in one piece. 
You walk side by side with Jeno now, heading towards the outside grounds where you know the others will be waiting for your arrival and you grow a little nervous when you think about Jaemin. Would he be there? Did he have a free period to go and get coffee too? Or would he stay behind and catch up on his own work?
The questions leave you dizzy and annoyed, huffing at your thoughts which easily catches Jeno’s attention and he gives you a kind smile, reaching his hand up to your shoulder to dig his fingers into the pressure points, causing you to wince upon his first touch but slowly relax in complete bliss as you feel the tension slip away. 
You give him a dumb grin to which he snorts at.
“Hey” A familiar voice calls out and you crane your neck to the side, the grin slowly slipping from your lips as you see Jaemin emerge from a class with Junghoon, who you’ve grown to learn is his nosey seatmate, by his side. It seems like your questions are answered. He did stay.
Jaemin eyes the way Jeno’s fingers are dug into your shoulders, brow twitching upwards in question when he watches his hands slowly trail down your arm and drop to his sides casually, giving Jaemin a smile that, for once, Jaemin didn’t bother giving back.
Your mouth feels dry upon seeing Jaemin, unable to come up with a simple greeting when he makes his way towards you, but he stops abruptly when Junghoon tumbles into him and apologises profusely when he steps on the back of Jaemin’s shoe, yet Jaemin pays no mind to the small accident and instead swats Junghoon away when it dawns on him that he’s trying to follow behind.
Junghoon’s mouth drops open in offence, spinning around on his heel with a scoff and disappearing into the crowd, but not before giving you a wave to which you felt obliged to return and your hand falls to your side when Jaemin brings his attention back to you. 
“Hey” He greets you casually, but his brows pull together in concern as his eyes take you in, roaming your face with curiosity. “Are you okay? I’ve been trying to call you but… it kept going straight to voicemail”
“Yeah, sorry” You apologise, the guilt immediately eating you up and you struggle to look him in the eyes even when he tries so hard to meet yours. “I wasn’t feeling too great and then I had assessments from Professor Moon, I just—” You gulp. “I’ve been busy”
“Are you feeling better now?” Jaemin asks you and you nod quickly, but abruptly stop when he asks the next question, “Are you still busy now?”
“I, well…” You pause, staring down at Donghyuck’s laptop in your hands before looking back up at him. “I have to give this to Donghyuck—”
“Jeno can give it back” Jaemin tells you, not even sparing a glance at Jeno who’s been silently watching the interaction this entire time, his hands shoved deep into his jean pockets with his jaw locked. You’re unsure of what to say back, but the urge to make up a lame excuse on why you should be the one to give Donghyuck his laptop back lays on the tip of your tongue. “I want to talk to you, alone”
You’re about to decline, to follow along with your excuse until you hear the faint ‘please’ that leaves his lips when you take a second too long to answer him. It leaves you crumbling, the walls that you’ve built up fall down just from that word and the tone that was used.
You hate how weak he makes you feel and you mentally scold yourself when you hand the laptop over to Jeno who’s already staring at you, trying to communicate with you through subtle glances but you simply nod at him to tell him that everything was okay, and maybe this could be your chance to end things with Jaemin once and for all.
Jeno bids you both a silent goodbye, giving one last look at Jaemin and Jaemin holds eye contact with him for a few moments before dropping his head low as he remembers the small dispute the pair had regarding himself and Eunbin—but Jaemin didn’t care about that right now, not when he finally has you here in person.
He offers his hand out for you to take and you feel a little dumb staring at it, debating in your head whether to hold it or not. You really want to hold his hand, to feel his warmth against your skin and get that comfort you’ve been yearning for, yet the guilt is quick to rise and the conversation with Eunbin comes to mind. You can’t take his hand.
But yet, you do. 
Your fingers slide through his before you can even register you’re doing it and the squeeze he gives your hand is enough to pull you out of your thoughts that swarm your head. You allow him to take you wherever he wants to go to talk to you alone and the anxiety that surges through your veins at the lingering eyes of others causes you to drop your head low to avoid their stares, especially Mia’s who watches with her arms crossed tightly over her chest and her jaw clenched. 
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“What’s going on?” Jaemin asks the question you have been dreading and the silence that fills the empty classroom he had pulled you inside for your one-on-one talk makes you feel uncomfortable, and a little nervous. 
You have no idea how to even talk to him, let alone start the conversation of ending whatever it is you both have. A friends with benefits situation, an official one. That’s all it has ever been. Your stomach twists and turns at that, refusing to make eye contact with him as you look elsewhere, focussing on a board with scribbles from its previous class.
Jaemin calls out your name softly and you almost jump when you feel the palm of his hands cup your cheeks to turn your attention on him, and your heart drops plummets in your stomach. The desperate look in his eyes, the curiosity—the worry—it makes you feel sick.
“I know you said you’ve been busy… but it kinda feels like you’ve been avoiding me” Jaemin laughs lightly despite the crushed tone, his thumbs caressing your cheekbones as his lips press together with a sigh. “Please talk to me”
“Jaemin, I—” You wanted to scream when you heard his phone shrill loudly in his pocket, ruining your chance to explain what was going on. Maybe it was a good thing you were getting interrupted, you weren’t exactly ready to end whatever you both had and truthfully, you didn’t want to.
Although you grow confused when Jaemin allows his phone to continuously ring, not bothering to check the caller ID and answer it as his attention is focused on nothing but you. You would’ve been entirely grateful if this was under a different circumstance, recalling the amount of times he’s answered the phone when you were together but you couldn’t ignore it, not with that annoying ringtone. 
Slipping your hand into his jean pockets, you fish out his phone and you barely bite back a scoff when you see Eunbin’s caller ID. You’re shocked at your complete 180 in attitude, being so used to feeling guilty and ashamed when being in Jaemin’s presence with Eunbin’s name running in your mind, but now you feel annoyed—resentful even.
“You should answer it”
“I don’t want to,” Jaemin immediately says.
“It hasn’t stopped you before” You bite back before you can stop yourself, your bitter tone catching Jaemin off guard and you sigh, closing your eyes in defeat. “I’m sorry—”
“Did she say something to you?” It was your turn to be caught off guard, your eyes snapping open to stare at Jaemin who’s hands drop to his side, head tilting to the side quizzically. 
Jaemin remembered his brief encounter with Jeno during the night you left, how Jeno had brought up Eunbin’s name but Jaemin was quick to shut it down, not wanting to know anything or even hear anything about his ex-girlfriend. 
But he can’t help but piece two and two together: you have been acting weird since Eunbin’s welcome home party and he’s almost certain he saw you and Eunbin together before he was pushed inside of her home by others who attended the party.
Instead of answering him like he wishes you would’ve, you look down at his phone in your hands and slide your finger across the answer button, shoving his phone in his grasp with force and collecting your belongings to leave him alone once again.
A gasp flies from your lips as you feel Jaemin’s fingers wrap around your wrist and tug you back to him, and you almost trip over your own feet if it wasn’t for his tight grip to keep you steady, staring at him in complete shock as he stares back with a unreadable expression on his face.
You hear Eunbin’s voice call out his name from the speaker: asking if he’s there, asking if he can hear her and what he’s doing, but he remains silent with his attention, yet again, focused on you and it makes your heart pound loudly in your ears. 
Your thoughts ramble together, unable to even come up with a clear thought to get you out of this situation. Instead, you do what you know best. 
You kiss him.
You don’t know why you kissed him, you don’t really know what brought on the urge to do so but you did. With your arms wrapped around his shoulders, fingers curled around the hair at the nape of his neck, chest pressed against his, you kissed him hungrily—desperately.
It’s when you feel Jaemin respond to the kiss, letting his phone drop to the ground as his hands come up to rest on your waist that you realise what you’re doing and you recoil back in shock, eyes wide as you stare between him and his phone on the ground, baffled at what you just done.
Jaemin tries to reach back out to you, to bring you back to him and to kiss you again but you refuse, muttering a small apology as you finally gather your things and leave him once again.
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It’s been two weeks since Jaemin last interacted with you in the classroom. 
There’s been brief moments where he encountered you with the group, but it’s obvious now when you avoid his gaze or make up some excuse to go somewhere else or that you’re busy, and Jaemin is tired.
What makes it worse is that it seems everyone else around him is knowing what's going on while he’s left alone in the dark to figure it out himself. It makes him upset, even though he’d never admit it out loud to anyone. 
It makes him upset to see you avoid him so quickly, to refuse to meet up with him alone or to talk to him. He’s tried calling you, he’s tried texting you—hell, he’s even tried to talk to Haru and Miwoo who give him nothing in return but a sharp look or disappointing gaze.
He’s sick of it.
Jaemin’s not sick of you, he doesn’t think he could be ever sick of you. He’s sick of the hushed whispers he hears from the group, how they refuse to tell him what’s going on. He’s sick of the looks he gets from them whenever Eunbin makes a sudden appearance to talk to him, whether it’ll be through a phone call or in person. 
He knows Eunbin’s trying to get on good terms with him, to rebuild a friendship with him while she’s back. Some part of him admires Eunbin for her efforts as Jaemin doesn’t bother giving anything back apart from some half-hearted replies or sounds of acknowledgement when she says something to him, but the other part of him is annoyed at how she can pretend that nothing ever happened and that because he forgave her for his closure, Eunbin thinks it’s fine to worm her way back into his life with his friends (who clearly hate her). 
Jaemin feels conflicted. He hates awkwardness and he hates the tension, and he’s not the best when it comes to uncomfortable situations. He can, however, have his moments when it comes to other people. He doesn’t mind being confrontational if it helps the other person, but when it comes to himself he would avoid it at all costs. 
He wouldn’t admit it out loud but he wants his friends to be happy and he most importantly wants you to be happy. Eunbin? He ponders her name for a moment, tongue prodding at his cheek as he stares at his blank computer screen. Eunbin is not his priority. He doesn’t really care about Eunbin’s happiness.
So why was he trying so hard to keep the peace on both ends? Jaemin grows frustrated again, trying his best to clear his thoughts as he busies himself with his computer, editing a picture he had taken of Shotaro recently but he gets distracted when he hears his phone vibrate relentlessly on his desk and he picks it up, brows pulling together as he sees the main groupchat is active. 
[ 𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗨'𝗦 𝗦𝗨𝗚𝗔𝗥 𝗕𝗔𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦 — 𝗚𝗥𝗢𝗨𝗣𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗧 ]
donghyuck: sunwoos having a party tonight donghyuck: he invited all of us and said he’s got the goods covered donghyuck: i think i love him a lil 
yangyang: i’m down [donghyuck hearted this message]
renjun: who the fuck changed the groupchat name.
miwoo: me❤️
renjun: change it back.
yangyang: 🗣️rare sight of renjun getting overprotective over his gf 🗣️
donghyuck: i screenshot already👍 [yangyang liked this message] [renjun disliked this message]
miwoo: haru is the only one with a big bank account tho bc she works miwoo: its fitting dont u think????
donghyuck: idkkk donghyuck: just wait until me n jeno start our onlyfans account
jeno: 🤨
yangyang: wait hyuck why not ask m e????
donghyuck: no offence but jeno would bring in the views
yangyang: you right you right 
jeno: anyway jeno: im down for the party jeno: haven’t had one in a while
renjun: you had one last weekend.
yangyang: we literally hosted a party last weekend????
donghyuck: did you get so fucked up you forgot we had one last weekend???
jeno: shut up jeno: are we all going or not [yangyang, donghyuck and miwoo liked this message] jeno: what abt renjun, haru, shotaro, yn & jaemin???
miwoo: renjun goes if haru goes miwoo: and shotaro goes if renjun and haru goes [donghyuck questioned this message]
donghyuck: uh no donghyuck: shotaro goes if ME and YANG go
miwoo: idk abt that :/
shotaro: i go if you all go :)
donghyuck: i love you
haru: me and renjun can’t go tonight, we’re packing for our weekend trip
miwoo: THE FCK??? 🤨🤨🤨 miwoo: WHAT WEEKEND TRIP???? miwoo: and without me???
you: haru and renjun have planned this trip for like weeks, that’s why haru asked for more shifts at work [haru hearted this message] [renjun liked this message]
renjun: at least someone listens.
donghyuck: wait what teh fuck
miwoo: thats what im SAYING
donghyuck: what happened to group trips </3 do we not do those anymore </3 
miwoo: ^ ^ ^
donghyuck: this friday is the worst friday to have ever friday [miwoo emphasised this message]
shotaro: is this our first time seeing miwoo and hyuck agree on something?? [donghyuck and miwoo disliked this message] shotaro: sorry.
yangyang: where are u guys going??
renjun: none of your business.
haru: rented out a beach house!
donghyuck: BEACH TRIPS ARE OUR THING!!!!!???
miwoo: how are me and yn going to survive without haru miwoo: i feel so lonely already </3
haru: i’ll be gone for three days…
miwoo: and??? miwoo: do u know how long that is????
yangyang: 3 days lol [miwoo disliked this message]
donghyuck: 3 days??? [miwoo disliked this message]
renjun: 3 days. [miwoo disliked this message]
miwoo: ok stfu
jeno: we’re getting side tracked. jeno: yn? jaemin? party??? 
you: idk you: i’ll think abt it
yangyang: thats a yes yangyang: because i’ll be dragging ur ass out
donghyuck: me too ;)
jeno: jae??
jaemin: no.
And with that, Jaemin shuts off his phone and drops it beside him on his desk, leaning back in his chair with his head in his hands, rubbing at his face in frustration as his chest tightens with an uncomfortable feeling. He hates this.
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“Don’t take this the wrong way but, why are you even here right now?” Haru questions you with a quick glance over her shoulder as she restocks the vinyls, rearranging them in alphabetical order for Johnny’s liking.
She spins to face Renjun for a brief moment with a grin, holding up a vinyl with the words ‘COLOURFUL TRAUMA’ scrawled across the front in block letters and Renjun nods, opening up his little ‘misfits’ tote bag and allowing her to shove the vinyl inside for later purchase. 
“Can’t I just come visit you at work?” You question back, finding offence as you frown at her. Your arms cross over your chest as you lean against a pillar, raising a brow in her direction. “Is it wrong for me to want to hang out with you?”
Renjun scoffs, “You’re so dramatic” You retaliate by throwing up your middle finger and Renjun does the same with a smile, causing Haru to give you both a pointed look, clearly unimpressed with your attitudes towards each other.
“I think you’re stalling” Haru tells you, turning back to the vinyls. “He’s not going tonight, you know. Ditch the party and actually talk to him… avoiding him isn’t going to make either of you feel better”
“I can’t bring myself to do it” You admit, staring down at your shoes in disappointment. “I don’t want to end whatever we have for my benefit… but not only do I not know how he feels about me, I have Eunbin waiting to make her move and get her second chance”
“Eunbin doesn’t deserve a second chance” Renjun says, causing you to look at him. “And honestly? I don’t think Jaemin is dumb enough to give her a second chance. At this point she’s just making a complete fool out of herself”
Your lips curl into a frown, “Doesn’t that mean technically that I’m making a complete fool out of myself too?”
Haru turns her head towards you abruptly, “What makes you say that?”
“Think about it,” You start, uncrossing your arms to count off your fingers. “I’ve fallen for him without knowing how he feels about me. I broke the most important rule we had made which, shocker, is the don't fall for each other rule. I’m practically stalling everything just so I don’t have that conversation with him and potentially lose him… I’m a fool”
“You’re just scared—”
You blink at Haru, “That makes me feel so much worse”
“It’s okay to be scared, you know” Renjun speaks this time and you’re surprised by his soft and caring tone, eyes wide as you look over at him. Renjun rolls his eyes at your expression, “I can be nice sometimes”
“Yeah, and it’s creepy” You tell him, causing Renjun to scoff and Haru to laugh at her boyfriend, patting him on the shoulder before resuming in her work. “I know it’s okay to be scared, by the way… I just hate feeling it and I want to get rid of it. I wish I could pull an Eunbin and leave on a trip”
Haru sucks through her teeth, gently whacking you on top of the head with a vinyl. “Don’t use that writing trip as an escape”
Renjun snorts at your choice of words, “Pull an Eunbin”
“It was a joke” You tell her, rubbing the top of your head despite it not actually hurting you. “I have been thinking about it though. Professor Moon asks me about it from time to time, and I still have Mr Nakamoto’s details on a note somewhere in the bottom of my bag”
“Go on the trip if it’s something you really want, but don’t go on the trip if you’re using it as an escape route to avoid Jaemin” Haru gives you a hard look and you’re a little startled, not expecting her to give you that type of expression. “You’ll be worse than Eunbin if you do that”
Renjun spares you a quick glance, “Don’t be Eunbin”
You frown at that, the thought of becoming something like her leaving an uncomfortable feeling on your chest. You regret the joke you made moments prior about pulling an Eunbin and leaving—you’d never do something like that, that would be the last thing you’d do. Jaemin would, truthfully, be one of the first people you’d tell if you decided to go on the trip, remembering how excited he was for you when you first mentioned it to him. 
You wouldn’t do that to him—you wouldn’t leave without telling him, no matter what type of situation you’re both in.
“Do you want a job or something?” The sudden but familiar voice causes you to slowly turn around on your heel, eyes zoning in on Johnny who’s standing behind you with a pudding cup in hand and a spoon in the other, staring at you with a deadpan expression as he raises his spoon to his mouth.
“What?”
“You’re here all the time.” Johnny points out, the corner of his lips subtly twitching which gives you the impression he’s teasing you. “Do you want a job or something? Help organise the shelves? Be my assistant?”
“Fuck off, Johnny”
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“Are you really going on a trip?” Miwoo frowns, sitting on the edge of Haru’s bed as she watches her pack her final belongings for the weekend getaway. 
When Haru had finished her shift this evening, she rushed home with you to pack while you had to shower and get ready for Sunwoo’s party. (Miwoo’s orders. You didn’t feel like crossing Miwoo today.)
You’re prettied up alongside Miwoo, wearing your favourite outfit along with some silver jewellery and heavy makeup that you think definitely pulls the look in all together—you praise Miwoo for her talents. And despite not wanting to go in the first place, you have to admit that you feel much better after seeing your reflection. 
“Yes, I’m really going on this trip,” Haru tells her as she’s shoving some hygiene products into her bag. “Why do you keep asking me?”
“The longest I’ve been without you is five hours,” Miwoo explains. “You’re going for three days—how am I going to cope?”
Haru snorts, “Mi—”
“No, seriously. What should I do?” Miwoo deadpans. “You’re, like, my anchor. What am I going to do?”
“It’s three days” Haru repeats to her as she places a comforting hand on Miwoo’s shoulder and gives her a warm smile. “You’ll be fine… plus, you can just call me if you want”
“Everyday?”
Haru gives her a look, “Don’t push it”
“Worth a shot” Miwoo grins before she shoots up from Haru’s bed, quickly excusing herself to retrieve something for her as she dashes out of the room. You snort at her behaviour, turning your head to look at Haru who seems a little uneasy and bothered, it makes you frown.
“Can you do me a favour?” Haru asks you before you can even get the chance to question what was wrong, but you nod anyway. “Keep an eye on Miwoo”
“I mean, I will, but,” You pause, brows pulling together. “Why?”
“She spoke to me last night about some stuff—well, she hinted towards some things about herself and about Jeno. How weird and lost she feels, how different things seem to be without having Jeno there in her life as a boyfriend” Haru explains to you quietly, keeping her voice low and glancing towards her bedroom door to make sure Miwoo wasn’t returning back yet. “Don’t get me wrong, Miwoo can be independent… but I think she also depended on Jeno a lot in some weird sense. I know that people called us the trio, but—”
“It was always Jeno and Miwoo” You finish and Haru nods with a gentle hum, confirming you were right. “I’ll keep an eye on her… I’ll try and talk to her too”
Haru laughs softly, “Good luck with that, Miwoo doesn’t open up easily”
“Found it~” Miwoo sings happily from the hallway as she comes bounding back into Haru’s room, holding something in her hand. 
You watch as she excitingly hands the box over to Haru who looks at it sceptical before unwrapping the pink ribbon from around the box, sliding the top off before slamming it back on with a shocked expression, eyes wide as she stares over at Miwoo who grins.
You’re curious to know what’s inside the box, fingers itching to reach out and see why Haru had caused such a reaction but before you could even get a chance to question it, Haru’s already reacting once again. 
“You’re crazy. You’re insane… how did you even find this?”
“I’ve very persuasive” Miwoo’s grin widens as she settles down on the bed beside you. “Surprisingly had a little help from Sunwoo too—He knew a few people and luckily I’m good at getting what I want”
“Miwoo…” Haru whines with a pout, dropping the box on the bed and launching herself at Miwoo who happily welcomes her with open arms, squeezing her tightly to her chest with a joyful giggle as Haru embraces her while muttering gibberish under her breath.
Feeling left out, you immediately reach for the box and take a peek inside, instantly making a noise of recognition as you see the sage green mesh dress that’s been sitting in Haru’s wishlist for a few months, knowing how badly Haru was wanting the pretty dress and even saving up for it alongside her savings for her weekend vacation away with Renjun. 
You immediately awe out loud, looking over at Miwoo who is beaming with happiness, wrapping her limbs awkwardly around Haru who tries to free herself this time, pinching Miwoo’s thighs in an attempt to force her to let her go and Miwoo’s reluctantly frees her when she squeezes a little too hard.
“I want to hit you for buying this but I also want to kiss you” Miwoo immediately puckers her lips as that confession but Haru places the palm over her hand over her face. “How did you have the money to buy this? Do you realise how expensive it is?”
“I told you. Sunwoo knows people and I’m good at getting what I want” Miwoo explains as she pushes Haru’s hand away. “But if you want the full details… We all know Sunwoo’s parents are rich so they’re involved with a lot of people. When I met up with him for a smoke, he told me that one of the girls he plugs for owns a family boutique. She owed him for the last ‘service’ so I asked if I could get the dress”
“I’m pretty sure this dress costs more than Sunwoo’s goods”
“I don’t know about that…” You pitch in this time, looking between Haru and Miwoo. “Sunwoo does sell some high quality shit. That’s why he’s so popular”
Miwoo clicks her fingers at you, “Exactly”
“When I come back from vacation, I hope you realise I’m paying you everything back”
“Shut up” Miwoo scoffs, shaking her head while gently glaring at Haru before her lips curl into a smile. “You can pay me back by never leaving me again” Haru gives her a blank look to which Miwoo shrugs her shoulders innocently, the smile dropping from her face. “No, I'm serious. I get separation anxiety”
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Standing in Sunwoo’s kitchen with him on your one side with Miwoo on the other wasn’t exactly in your plans for this party, nor was striking up a conversation with him as he sits upon the countertop while rolling a joint expertly between his fingers, selling them to people who strolled by and shoved money in his hands. 
You almost snorted when you first witnessed him alone, emoji stickers plastered across his face and glasses hanging off the bridge of his nose and you dared to ask why he was covered in such things, only prompting an actual laugh out of you when he said some girls stuck them on his face as a thank you gift for hosting a party. 
But you immediately stop laughing and stare at him unimpressed as he pulls a lips emoji sticker off his cheek to put it on your own, patting the area softly with a sluggish grin before peeling a devil emoji off his glasses and pressing it in the middle of Miwoo’s forehead, causing her to drunkenly grin as she pulls out her phone to take a picture of you three.
“You know,” Sunwoo begins as he rolls another joint, taking a quick glance at you. “As much as I love you hanging out with me right now, Eric is upstairs. He’s going to come find me soon and if you still want to ignore him, now’s your best chance to go find your friends”
“Thanks for the heads up” You tell him appreciatively, shocked that he’s even letting you know about Eric’s whereabouts. You look over at Miwoo, “I’m gonna go find Shotaro—”
“I think you should talk to him though”
Your head snaps towards him, and so does Miwoo’s.
“I’m not saying you should forgive him” Sunwoo adds as he studies your face. “I’m saying you’re going to end up spending the majority of your life trying to avoid him, making things harder and awkward for yourself. Just talk to him—tell him how he made you feel, hear whatever he has to say back, decide whether he deserves forgiveness or not and get your closure”
Closure. That word leaves a bitter taste in your mouth. Seeing firsthand how Jaemin’s closure has worked out between him and Eunbin, how Eunbin has easily wormed her way back into his life as if nothing happened… you don’t want to go down that path, you refuse, especially with Eric. 
You can’t. 
“I’ll pass” You grab your drink and leave the kitchen, pushing your way through the crowd of sweaty bodies who grind upon each other, allowing the music to take over their rhythm. 
You decline when a girl from your class taps your arm to come join her and her little group, pointing to your cup to subtly tell her you want to finish your drink first and she nods, allowing you to slip by and continue on walking. 
Shotaro is the first person you see and a genuine smile spreads across your lips when you see him talking with Yeji in the far corner of the room, how his cheeks bloom a slight shade of red as her hand caresses the bruise on his face, courtesy of Hyunjin’s punch. 
(You even fight the urge to awe out loud when she leans over to kiss it.)
Not wanting to interrupt their moment, you venture out to find Donghyuck or Yangyang instead, maybe even Jeno if you’re lucky. But, much to your dismay, you can’t find them anywhere and you feel a little silly being left alone.
You’re starting to miss Haru and Renjun, maybe even Jaemin too. 
You exhale deeply and tug your phone out of your pocket as you make your way out to the backyard, eyeing the couples that kiss in the pool and others who cannonball in, three drunk guys sitting on the sidelines scoring them.
Sitting yourself down on an empty garden chair, you sip your beer as you scroll through your phone, hearting Haru and Renjun’s posts on Instagram as they posted that they finally arrived at their destination, leaving a small comment for them to have fun and stay safe to which she, and Renjun too (shockingly), replied back with heart emojis.
You continue to scroll mindlessly, liking other posts from mutuals and you snort when seeing an old post of Yangyang but you feel your chest tighten and your amusement drop when you see a recent post of Jaemin’s, thumb hovering over the heart button. 
‘Taken with my favourite polaroid’, the caption reads and you sigh softly, pressing your lips together. It’s the polaroid you bought him, the one he hasn’t stopped using since you gifted it to him. 
You’d be lying if you said that the caption didn’t affect you, leaving your heart warm and fuzzy. And you’re not sure what pushed you to do it but you tap the comment section of his post, seeing a few comments from his classmates and one that leaves a sour taste in your mouth.
Eunbin.  
She left a smiley face emoji under the photo, a comment that wasn’t liked apart from the others and you begin to wonder if you should comment to, just to test if he would like yours but you figured that would be too toxic and silly, deciding to just heart the photo and continue scrolling but you pause when a notification from Jaemin comes up on your phone the second you heart it, causing your brows to follow as you tap his message.
jaemin: are u at the party?
you: yeah
jaemin: are u drunk?
you: tipsy you: i’ll be fine
jaemin: typing… jaemin: typing… jaemin: typing…
You gnaw at the nail of your thumb, watching the three bubbles on the screen as you wonder what he’s about to say next.
jaemin: stay safe jaemin: i’ll come get u if u need me
Your bottom lip starts to quiver, heart rate increasing as your emotions get the best of you, wanting to spill some tears at a simple and kind message. You shut off your phone, shoving it into your pocket as you bring the beer bottle up to your lips to chug, tears brimming in your eyes and making your vision blurry.
You do need him. You hate to admit it, but you do need him. More than ever. You don’t want to lose him, you don’t want to stop seeing him because of Eunbin wanting a second chance. Maybe you deserve to be a little selfish once in a while
But it dawns on you that you don’t exactly know how Jaemin feels. 
The frustration soon starts to build inside you, realising how secretive and quiet Jaemin is about his feelings, how he doesn’t allow anyone to have a dip inside his head to know what he’s thinking of feeling in that given moment.
You hardly know anything about him, and that’s because he doesn’t let you. 
“There you are” A familiar voice coos from behind you and you peer your head over your shoulder to see Yangyang stumbling towards you, eyes red with a dumb grin and you laugh as he pulls a vacant garden chair beside you to sit down, knocking his shoulder against yours. “I’ve been looking for you”
“Sorry” You mutter, staring down at the almost empty beer bottle in your hands. “I needed fresh air”
“Me too, it was stuffy in there” Yangyang agrees as he mindlessly drums his fingers on his thighs, staring out at the others in the pool. “You missing Haru and Renjun?”
You exhale deeply, “Very”
“Same” He hums, pressing his lips together as he takes a quick glance at you. “Are you missing Jaemin?”
“Just feels different without everyone here” You say, not wanting to jump into full details about how you really are missing Jaemin even if you don’t want to admit it out loud. “I like it when we’re all together”
Yangyang nods slowly to agree with you and silence falls upon you both for a while, basking in each others presence as you watch the other partygoers, some still flinging themselves into the pool or dancing on the well kept grass to the music that plays loudly from the speakers. 
“You look pretty, by the way” Yangyang’s sudden compliment doesn’t surprise you, always have been used to this type of behaviour from him and you roll your eyes as you turn to face him, finally looking straight at him since he first arrived to sit with you and you notice the change in his features, how the grin he had falters into a frown. “Have you been crying?”
You scoff, feeling a little embarrassed. “No”
“Wow…” He gasps dramatically, reaching out to touch your face, his thumb wiping the tears that bubble in the corner of your eyes. “You’re pretty when you cry too? How the fuck is that fair? Hm?” His over the top acting has you struggling to keep your expression stoic. “I look ugly as fuck when I cry… What the hell?”
“Shut up” You crack, a laugh slipping past your lips as you swat his hand away. “Stop it”
“But you are,” Yangyang smiles, dropping his hand from your face to your lap, fingers skimming over your own. He nudges your shoulder gently, “I have this ugly picture of drunk Miwoo crying into a bowl of spaghetti if you want to see it? Surely that would make you feel better, right?”
“You’ve got to stop taking pictures of people drunk”
Yangyang shrugs his shoulders, “Blackmail. You all have photos of me too” He meets your eyes again, turning serious this time. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing—”
“Don’t lie to me” Yangyang cuts you off immediately and this time, he grabs your hand to lace your fingers in a comforting hold. “I know you too well, so don’t lie to me” He squeezes your hand gently. “Tell me”
And you do. You tell him everything.
Everything about Jaemin, everything about Eunbin—even everything about yourself and your feelings, and Yangyang listens to you so intently, concern and sadness written across his features as he nods along with your words.
Yangyang’s chest tightens as he listens to your problems, especially regarding Jaemin as he hears you admit how much you had fallen for him despite it being the number one rule. His heart breaks seeing how sad you are, how the tears threaten to spill again and he wishes he could help make you feel better, to see that smile on your face that he loves so much. 
Love. That word makes him feel a little sick, his stomach swirling uncomfortably at the new and unusual feeling. He’s never loved anyone romantically before, that’s all new and foreign to him. He never expected himself to ever fall in love with someone, especially with how comfortable he is with hook-up culture and how normal is it for him.
Love is scary. It leaves his palms sweaty and he grimaces whenever there’s something romantic happening between him and someone else, which is why he always sets boundaries, boundaries that are not meant to be crossed.
But yet, when it comes to you, maybe love to Yangyang doesn’t sound so bad.
“There’s something I want to tell you…” Yangyang interrupts you, voice soft and timid. Once you look at him, you notice that he’s staring at the ground, refusing to meet your gaze as his fingers timidly place with your own. “It’s important. It’s been on my mind for a while and I… I just need to get it off my chest”
“Okay” You say, nodding your head with a smile despite the anxiety that buzzes through your veins at his unusualness. “What is it?”
“I…” Yangyang suddenly pauses, staring straight at you as you stare back at him, waiting for him to speak. He wants to do it, to tell you everything that he’s been feeling, to finally get it out into the open and be free of all the thoughts inside of his head.
Yangyang has always been honest with his feelings—blunt and straight to the point. He doesn’t beat around the bush when being completely real with someone, so why is he hesitating when he comes to you?
He stares at you a little longer, noticing how red your ears are, how your makeup is slightly smudged from crying, how swollen and bitten your lips are from trying to conceal yourself from any more tears and sadness.
His shoulders sag slightly, exhaling through his nose in defeat as he grips your hand in his own. “I’m proud of you, I always have been. You’re strong and I admire that about you, and I just—” He feels his eyes burn, tears threatening to appear but he holds back with a harsh swallow. “I promise that everything will work out in the end. You’ll be happy… you deserve to be happy. Don’t let anyone, including Eunbin, ruin that for you”
Whatever you were expecting Yangyang to tell you, it definitely wasn’t that. You can’t help but stare at him in shock, taking in his words with a warmth in your chest. You feel emotional and you bite back the urge to make another fool out of yourself by crying but you’re aware of the tears that are already forming in your eyes.
“That was pretty cheesy of you” You joke, unable to hide your smile as a tear drips down your cheek. Yangyang laughs lightly and squeezes your hand once again, using his other hand to wipe the tear away and he caresses your cheek softly, and that’s when you notice the pain in his eyes.
“I love you” He whispers to you so gently that you barely hear him. “You’re my best friend, and I love you”
“I love you too” You repeat back, swatting his hands away so you could lean forwards to embrace him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders as his arms slide around your waist, holding you tightly to his chest with his fingers clutching the back of your dress, not wanting to let you go just yet as the tears freely spill down his cheeks, completely unbeknownst to you.
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Jaemin lets out a soft grunt as he raises his arms above his head, bones cracking from the hunched over position he had held for so long over his computer, eager to finish a few photos that were left untouched in his folder, using at as an excuse to get his mind off of everything that was going on. 
He keeps glancing over at his phone, wondering if you would take him up on his offer to help you if you need it, but his mood defleats more and more when it buzzes and your name doesn’t show up on the screen. 
It’s Eunbin’s name that does, asking him if he went to Sunwoo’s party and if he would like to hang out if he didn’t go, wondering if they wanted to go for beers somewhere else or even get a bite to eat.
He ignored every single one, he wasn’t in the mood to do anything but work on his photos and he sure as hell wasn’t in the mood to be around drunk people, apart from you. 
Jaemin sighs as he reaches for his phone, teeth gnawing at his bottom lip as he opens up your chat to see that you’ve left him on read, his fingers tapping anxiously against the sides of his phone.
He wonders if you’ll take him up on his offer if you need someone to come get you and he contemplates on sending another text just to let you know that he was serious about coming to get you if needed, or texting to see if you were still tipsy or getting sober. 
But he decides against it when his phone pings again with another notification from Eunbin and he locks his phone, throwing it back on the desk as he runs his fingers through his hair with a frustrated sigh, pushing his hair out of his eyes as he stares at the computer screen.
Jaemin returns back to his work without another thought, wanting to focus on his main priority of getting this photo done until he hears the front door slam downstairs and his fingers hover above his mouse, listening intently to the sound of someone cursing under their breath as they trip and stumble up the staircase, heading towards the bedrooms. 
He believes it’s Jeno at first, knowing how he likes to go straight up to his room after indulging himself in a few beers and shots, and fall asleep to wake up early in the morning and workout the hangover away. 
But he’s surprised when the door to his own bedroom is forced open to see Yangyang standing in the hallway, swaying side to side slightly with a beer bottle in hand. He leans against the door frame to take a sip of the concoction, eyeing Jaemin who stares back unamused.
“What have you done?” Yangyang suddenly asks him and Jaemin is slightly taken back by the question, but he doesn’t show it, opting to just glare at him and he takes note of how glossy his eyes are. It makes Jaemin’s brows furrow when he realises he must’ve been crying and Jaemin bites back the urge to ask him what’s wrong. “I said, what have you done?”
“What are you talking about?” Jaemin mutters with a roll of his eyes, turning his attention back to his computer as he shakes his head. “Get out of my room if you’re going to talk about something stupid. I don’t want to hear it—”
Jaemin’s cut off by Yangyang’s dry chuckle, making him sound a little crazy. “She’s upset, you know. The last time I saw her that upset was when the Eric bullshit happened… So, what have you done?”
Jaemin’s chest tightens at the thought of you being upset, but he can’t help but frown in annoyance as he looks back at Yangyang. “What makes you think I did something wrong? She’s the one that’s been actively ignoring me this entire time, I’ve tried to get her attention and she leaves. I call her, she ignores me. I message her and she either leaves me on read or gives me blunt replies. I’m trying, Yang”
“So you think you did nothing wrong?”
“No, I just—fuck—I don’t know what I—” Jaemin’s words die down in the back of his throat when he notices Yangyang staggering towards him, feeling slightly uncomfortable and intimidated with the way he’s being looked at by him. 
Never in his years of knowing Yangyang would he think he would come across as intimidating, or scary for that matter, but with Yangyang standing in front of Jaemin with his face a little too close for his liking, Jaemin has never been so uncomfortable and nervous around Yangyang in his life.
Yangyang’s hazy eyes dance over Jaemin’s face, a halfhearted laugh slipping past his lips, the stench of alcohol and weed hitting Jaemin’s nose which makes him grimace. Yangyang’s eyes swirl with anger, sadness and regret, but it doesn’t stop him from slowly raising his hand to pet Jaemin’s blonde head of hair, not even sympathetically, Yangyang was hurting him a little with his rough touch.
“Talk to Eunbin” Yangyang tells him, dropping his hand from his head to grab his phone and shove it into Jaemin’s hands. 
Jaemin’s eyes narrow in on Yangyang, “What?”
“Talk to your ex-girlfriend and ask her about the conversation she had with Y/N” Yangyang knows he shouldn’t have said what he said, having promised you that he wouldn’t tell Jaemin about what happened between Eunbin and you. But he couldn’t stand back and continue watching you get hurt anymore, not when he cares about you so much. “Maybe it’ll finally knock some fucking sense into your head”
Jaemin watches wordlessly as Yangyang leaves his room, slamming the door shut behind himself as he disappears into his own room and Jaemin’s attention drops to the phone in his hands, brows pulled together in confusion at Yangyang’s demands. 
But surprisingly, it doesn’t stop him from unlocking his phone to bring up Eunbin and his chat, ignoring the multiple messages she had left behind as his thumbs tap the screen, tongue prodding at his inner cheek as he presses sent.
jaemin: i want to talk to u 
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“Hi” Eunbin greets him with a pretty smile the next morning, gesturing to the empty seat opposite her in the Dreamies Café and Jaemin slumps down in the seat, staring across the table at Eunbin blankly. “I’m sorry about last night. I completely drank too much and sent a whole bunch of embarrassing messages to you, and then I passed out. I’m really sorry”
He wasn’t exactly thrilled about having to wait an entire night to talk to Eunbin due to the previous conversation he had with Yangyang, how questions repeatedly circled in his head and how he was desperate for answers.
It seemed that your unusual actions were because of the conversation you had with Eunbin, as he tried to ask you before in the classroom, and last night it dawned on him after his brief encounter with Yangyang how serious it must’ve been.
Jaemin just wants to get to the bottom of this.
“I bought you an iced americano, by the way” Eunbin speaks up once again, sliding the plastic cup over the table towards him with another smile. “Extra shot, just how you like it”
“Thanks” He says as his fingers curl around the cup, not in the mood to drink as his other hand fiddles with the green straw, swirling the ice around the drink. 
“So,” She leans her elbows on the table, eyes sparkling. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
“Your conversation with Y/N at your welcoming party” Jaemin immediately answers and Eunbin’s face drops. He eyes her for a few seconds, watching how she uncomfortably shifts in her seat as she sits up straight. “What was it about?”
“Jaemin, I—”
“Don’t lie” His sharp tone surprises Eunbin. “I can’t handle being lied to right now”
“We were just talking about me,” Eunbin says softly as she fiddles with the rings that decorate her fingers, twisting the ring that should belong to him on her middle finger. He glances down at it, the pretty black gemstone taunting him and he snaps his attention back to her. “We talked about me in New York, how stupid I was for doing what I did and leaving you behind”
Jaemin fights the urge to roll his eyes, “Anything else?”
“We talked about you—your friends with benefits situation” That seems to grab Jaemin’s interest and he perks up, leaning on the table to listen closely. “I asked her what was really going on between you both and she told me the truth”
“She did?” He questions, his voice quiet this time, almost like a whisper. “What did she say?”
“That you two are just fucking”
Jaemin doesn’t know why, but his heart crumbles and a pain settles in his chest at that, throat tightening and feeling heavy, making it hard for him to swallow. He’s unable to form words or even process a thought, struggling to solve what he’s actually feeling right now.
His lips press together tightly, leaning back in his chair as he looks out of the window, trying to steady his breathing as it seems to get faster and heavier, knowing that he’s about to panic.
“Jaemin?” Eunbin calls out his name softly to grab his attention and he gives a short hum, letting her know that he’s listening. “Do you like her?”
“It doesn’t matter” He’s quick to say, this time grabbing his drink and taking a sip so he doesn’t have to talk anymore.
Eunbin watches him carefully and the guilt eats her away, a frown making its way onto her face and she realises exactly what’s going on. A wave of sadness consumes her, but it doesn’t overpower the absolute regret she’s feeling and she lets out a shaky breath, “Jaemin, this is my fault”
His eyes immediately dart towards her as he pulls the straw from between his lips, “What do you mean?”
“When I asked her about your situation, she didn’t give me an answer straight away… She only gave me an answer after explaining why I came back home and when I asked her to do something for me,” Eunbin begins, nervously staring down at her hands to avoid Jaemin’s deep gaze. “I told her I wanted a second chance with you and I asked her if she could stop being friends with benefits to see if I can get that second chance…”
Jaemin sits in silence.
“I wanted to show you how much I’ve changed and how much you mean to me” Eunbin explains as she reaches over to grab Jaemin’s hand, gripping his fingers tightly. “Even after everything that happened between us, I still cared for you—still loved you. I wasn’t ready to give that up. I wanted to be selfish and you know first hand that I’m the type of person that will fight for what I want, and I want you… Can you blame me for that?”
Eunbin’s honesty baffles Jaemin to the core, his eyes widening at her every word and he listens to her excuses. She has tears in her eyes, filled with desperation and forgiveness but Jaemin doesn’t see himself giving her what she wants, not with the pent up rage and frustration that fills him.
It had been her after all this time. Eunbin was the one that had been pulling you away from him, making demanding requests as it seems. It makes him feel sick to his stomach, knowing that all your sadness had been not only because of him, but because of Eunbin too.
Jaemin knows deep down that he hasn’t been the most innocent or helpful in this situation. He was the one that allowed Eunbin back into his life, allowing her the possibility of friendship just to keep the peace with himself. But he hurt you in the process. He hurt the one person he cares about the most.
“Jaemin?” Eunbin calls out his name once more, feeling uneasy with how he hasn’t said a word since she confessed. “Please say something”
“You…” Jaemin finally speaks up, tone a little too calm for Eunbin’s liking and she watches with wary eyes, nervously biting down on her bottom lip as the tears threaten to fall. Jaemin dryly chuckles with a shake of his head, his tongue prodding at his cheek in pure anger. “You are pathetic”
Eunbin stills, “Wh—”
“I told you. The second you showed up at my door after your trip, I told you how badly you screwed me over. I told you how shitty you made me feel,” He pauses, a laugh of disbelief slipping past his lips as he smiles. “And you think I would still give you a second chance?”
“Everyone deserves a second chance—”
“But I didn’t want to give it to you” Jaemin cuts her off, causing Eunbin to blink at him in surprise. “I spent months trying to move on from you and I was scared it wasn’t going to work, but when you came home that day and you visited me, I realised how I already did. I felt shocked seeing you, obviously, I didn’t expect you to come home. But there wasn’t a slightest part of me that was still in love with you, willing to give you another chance… it was gone”
Eunbin sucks in a deep breath, “Then what about us hanging out together after it? Did that mean nothing?”
“I was willing to give you a friendship for my selfish reasons,” Jaemin nonchalantly shrugs his shoulders. “I hate drama, especially when I’m in the middle of it. I try to avoid it as much as possible and I thought I was keeping the peace by giving you a chance for friendship… but I realised now how my selfish ways actually hurt everyone else I care about in the process. My friends don’t like you, they’re angry at you, angry at what you did and I put a weight on their shoulders in having you around all because I wanted myself to feel fine”
It’s Eunbin’s turn to be silent now, looking across the table at Jaemin in disbelief at his words.
“I got my closure with you, Eunbin. I shouldn’t have kept you around after that” Jaemin admits and suddenly, it feels like a weight has been lifted off of Jaemin’s chest and he can finally breathe, air flowing freely through his lungs. 
He smiles to himself—a real smile, the most genuine one he’s given in the past few days and then he laughs, another real sound rumbling from his chest as he peaks with happiness, staring over at Eunbin with a beam as she stares back at him with sadness and guilt. 
“Thank you, Eunbin” Jaemin suddenly thanks her and she looks at him confused, watching as he stands up from the table. “Thank you for helping me come to my senses”
“Wait, where are you going?” She asks him, abruptly standing up from her own chair, causing it to scrape against the ground and customers stare over at the table in curiosity. 
Jaemin smiles again, shoving his hands inside his pockets. “I’m gonna go make things right”
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“I miss Haru” Miwoo pouts over breakfast, stabbing her fork into her plate of scrambled eggs as she scrolls through Instagram on her phone, her pouting quickly disappearing and replaced with a look of awe as she angles the screen towards her. “She looks so pretty”
“The one she posted last night was pretty too” You add with a smile, staring at the photo. “I’m glad she’s having fun. She deserved the break”
“I wish she shoved me in her suitcase” Miwoo mumbles, pulling the phone back from you. “I would love to be anywhere but here right now”
“You and me both” You can’t help but mutter, spooning your cereal and bringing it up to your mouth for a bite, chewing softly before swallowing. “Are you okay? I mean, generally, are you okay?”
“I’m fine” She hums with a simple nod. “I think I’m fine”
“You think?”
Miwoo frowns this time, seemingly worried. “Am I not supposed to feel fine or something?”
“No, no, it’s not that” You shake your head, giving her a reassuring smile. “It’s just that I was talking to Haru before she left and she mentioned that you said some things to her, about you and Jeno” The realisation seems to hit her as her eyes widen slightly and you’re quick to reassure her once again. “It’s fine if you don’t want to talk about it, but I just want you to know that I’m here to listen to you and if you want to talk about anything, then—”
“I’m not fine” Miwoo cuts you off, voice vulnerable and honest which immediately surprises you, but you hide your shock as you nod your head slowly, wanting her to continue at her own pace. “Physically, I’m fine… but mentally, I’m not and I don’t like the feeling”
You dare to ask, “Is it about Jeno?”
“Kind of, yeah” She nods, refusing to meet your gaze as she plays with her breakfast. “I don’t know if it’s because it's my first but breakups are hard… and, as much as I don’t want to admit it, I’m struggling without Jeno. I don’t want to be with him anymore, because I know it’s not good for the both of us. It’s unhealthy, our relationship… but I feel so lost without him. I don’t really know what to do with myself”
“Miwoo…” You frown, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder and she sighs, reaching up to grab your hand to hold it tightly in her grasp. You squeeze her hand, allowing her to have her moment as you both sit in silence, watching her facial expressions.
“He was my person. And even though we fought and bickered sometimes, the happy moments completely outweigh it. Jeno made me happy and now I just feel miserable” Miwoo sighs softly, chewing down on her bottom lip. “I miss being with him in a way where we joked around a lot, how we teased each other and just hung out… excluding the sex”
 “Maybe you should talk to him?” You suggest, causing her to snap her attention towards you. “He’s still your friend, Miwoo. You’re both still in the group. You haven’t lost him since you broke up… he’s still there, he’ll always be there for you”
Miwoo pulls a face, “But he doesn’t talk to me that much”
“You don’t talk to him that much either. Communication is key”
Miwoo shifts in her chair to face you as she deadpans, “Funny how you give great advice but you can’t take it yourself”
“Hey” You point your fork warningly at her. “Stop turning everything on me”
“Just saying” Miwoo giggles, gently pushing your fork away from her as she sighs. “We’re a couple of girls who struggle to communicate… kinda love that for us”
“You’re insane” You snort, dropping your fork to grab your coffee and take a sip, humming at the taste. “I still think you should talk to him”
“I’ll talk to him if you talk to Jaemin” Miwoo grins at you. “I think it’s a pretty decent deal, don’t you?”
“No”
Miwoo groans as you stand up from the kitchen table, offering to clean up the dishes since she was the one that made breakfast. You hear her mumbling to herself behind you but you pay no mind, filling the sink with hot soapy water to wash the dishes and utensils, allowing yourself to think over her deal.
You would like to talk to Jaemin, somewhat. It could solve a lot of your problems, finally being able to put your real feelings towards him and lay everything out on the table. But it’s the fear of rejection that sits heavy in the back of your mind that stops you from doing anything of the sort. 
So, breaking everything off with Jaemin does seem like the right thing to do, even if it leaves you miserable. 
It doesn’t take you long to finish washing the dishes, drying your hands on a paper towel and excusing yourself to go to your room but you pause midway when you hear a knock on the door, peering your head over your shoulder at Miwoo as she announces that she’ll go see who it is. 
You nod, but you remain still, watching as Miwoo’s figure stands at the door and looks through the peephole and the sound she makes causes you to give her a confused expression, feeling even more confused and curious when she slowly turns around with a knowing smirk on her face.
“It’s for you”
“For me?”
“Yep” She nods with a grin, pulling her phone out of her sweatpants pocket. “I think I’m going to have that talk with Jeno now”
It takes you a moment to realise what she means, your face dropping as it dawns on you, “Miwoo…”
“You got this” Miwoo reassures you as she walks on over, wrapping you up in a warm and comforting hug but your arms lay limp at your sides, unsure of what to do. “Just be honest, okay? Don’t hold back and don’t do anything stupid… communication is key, remember?”
“I can’t believe you’re using my own words against me” You mumble under your breath in disbelief and Miwoo laughs loudly, pressing her lips against your cheek in a sloppy kiss before releasing you, making her way back to the front door and yanking it open.
From her previous statement, you knew Jaemin was standing on the other side. But seeing his face in person, seeing him just a few metres in front of you, your heart thumps wildly in your chest and your palms become sweaty. 
Miwoo’s greeting towards Jaemin is brief, a quick ‘hello’ with a hard look as she leaves the apartment, but not before turning around before Jaemin’s back and giving you a thumbs up, something you force yourself to bite back a curse at as you watch her disappear, leaving you and Jaemin alone for the first time in awhile. 
“Can I come in?” He’s the first to break the silence, asking you in such a hopeful tone that it makes your throat tighten in panic, feeling like you’re going to be sick as your head starts to swirl so fast you’re afraid you’re going to get dizzy and faint. Jaemin takes a hesitant step forward as he sees the difference in your expression, “Are you—”
“What do you want?” You force yourself to ask, swallowing the lump in your throat and breathing steadily through your nose. You didn’t mean to sound so rude towards him and you regret it the second you see his face drop. “Just—what are you doing here?”
“I want to talk to you” He says, eyes roaming your face with his brows furrowing. “We need to talk, face to face”
You straighten your back, “What is there to talk about?”
The corner of Jaemin’s lips twitch up subtly, “I think you know what we need to talk about”
You mentally pick a fight with yourself as you nod and tell him to come in, watching as he steps inside the apartment and closes the door behind himself. You bring him over to the living room but neither of you sit, continuing to eye each other to see who cracks first and you feel the annoyance bubbling in your veins, biting down on your inner cheek as you cross your arms over your chest. 
Unfortunately, it’s you who breaks first. 
“Why did you start this friends with benefits situation with me in the first place?” You find yourself asking first, tone slightly harsh and Jaemin blinks at you in surprise, not expecting that to be the first thing you’d ask. You stand your ground this time. “Why, Jaemin?”
His eyes lock on yours. He makes you feel small. You hate it. “You know why”
You let out a dry laugh, “Do I?”
Jaemin shakes his head, “This isn’t what I wanted us to talk about—”
“I want to talk about it” Your finger pokes at your chest. “I want to know. I need to know”
“We started this friends with benefits situation because we missed sex. We told each other at the beginning of it all that we missed sex but didn’t want a relationship to come with it. That’s all it was, you know that” The serious tone Jaemin uses makes you feel sick once again and you couldn’t even bear to look at him, instead finding interest in something in the corner of the room, teeth biting harder down on your cheek to stop the emotions from letting loose. Jaemin’s shoulders sag as he sighs, “Can you please just look at me?”
“I don’t want to” You know you sound childish, especially with how your voice sounds and your stubbornness, but you didn’t really want to look at him, not when you’re on the verge of tears.
Jaemin exhales deeply and you hear him drag his feet across the floorboards, heading straight towards you and you take a step back but Jaemin’s too quick, already standing in front of you with his cold hands coming up to cup your face, forcing you to look at him. 
“I—”
“I refuse to believe it, you know” You blurt suddenly, eyes brimming with tears that burn. “I just—I can’t believe it. Not after everything we’ve practically been through together. You believe that this was just sex? That the months we spent together, we were just two friends having sex? To fill that empty void?”
“Wait, I—”
“Do you realise that you were the one that broke the rules we had first? The rules that were supposed to keep us grounded? To not let us stray down that path of feelings? You broke two of those rules in the first week we got into this and now you’re here? Telling me that sex was all it was?”
“Baby, you’re not—”
You cut him off immediately. “Enough with that fucking name”
“Y/N—”
“You left me confused, Jaemin” You’re refusing to let him talk now but you can’t help it, your emotions and your feelings getting the complete best of you. You can’t stop yourself. “I loved what we had, it was fun, but you left me so confused. You would do things and you would say things that can be interpreted into something completely different. Then the exclusive shit happened and even though it was something I agreed to, it shouldn’t have happened. We went too far”
Jaemin’s hands slowly drop from your face as a frown slips across his, “Do you regret becoming exclusive with me?”
“Sometimes” You admit, causing him to frown deeper and you notice the look of hurt that flashes in his eyes. “This type of situation always gets messy if ‘official’ or ‘exclusive’ titles are added to it. That’s why people set boundaries, rules. But they were constantly being broken by the littlest of things you did… But don’t worry, it was me who ended up being the biggest fool out of the two of us, right?”
“What do you mean?”
You laugh half-heartedly, shaking your head. “It doesn’t matter if you broke the first two rules, Jaemin. I was the idiot that broke the biggest one of all”
Jaemin stares at you now, eyes wide as he repeats with a whisper, “What do you mean?”
“Rule number three, genius” You snort out a laugh. You’re aware of how much of a lunatic you must look right now, laughing with tears sliding down your cheeks, but you can’t bring yourself to care as the emotions you’ve been trying to conceal come slipping through the cracks. “Rule number three was no feelings involved… No. Falling. In. Love”
Jaemin’s unable to gather the right words to vocalise how he’s feeling, opting to just continue staring at you which makes you scoff, shaking your head in disbelief. 
The weight of the subtle confession has been lifted off of your chest, but with how he’s staring at you silently is making you feel worse. You don’t know if you want the ground to swallow you whole or if you want to kick Jaemin out of your apartment, to shut the door in his face and forget everything that just happened, but you know that’s not going to happen. 
So, you decide to keep going. To bite the bullet. To tell him everything.
“I’ve always had some sort of feeling towards you, but I realised I fell for you when Eunbin came back. How jealous and uneasy I felt when she was around or if you were with her. I tried to make excuses for it, but every kiss you gave me—every touch—I realised that I was far too fucking deep and some stupid part of me believed for the smallest moment, you might’ve felt the same way… but nothing changed. Nothing was said. You were still acting as you always did… closed off and unreadable”
Jaemin hangs his head low in shame. He knows well enough he’s closed off and unreadable, having become the type of person that hides his emotions and feelings towards anything and everything. He feels shame for hurting you with it all, not realising the effect it could leave on you and he sighs, an apology resting on the tip of his tongue and he goes to give it to you, but you start talking again.
“Truthfully, I don’t know anything about you” You tell him, rubbing the tears off of your cheeks. “You constantly have these walls built up around you and you refuse to let anyone in… Not only that, but you refuse to show anyone your feelings. Yet again, it leaves me fucking confused. You confused me and I can’t stand not knowing anything about you, your feelings, your—”
“I appreciate the things I love” Jaemin cuts you off suddenly, causing the words to die down at the back of your throat as you stare at him in surprise. “I appreciate my family for everything they have given me. I appreciate my friends for making memories I’ll never forget. I appreciate my camera for capturing the prettiest pictures for me to see whenever I feel sad. I appreciate sunsets because the colours are warm and comforting. I appreciate coffee because it gets me through the day when I’m exhausted. I appreciate the quietness because sometimes it eases me and allows me to think clearly”
You notice how Jaemin’s breathing gets heavier and you take a cautious step forward, eyeing him as he seems like he’s starting to panic. “Jaemin…”
“And I fucking appreciate you” 
You freeze. You can’t move. You can’t breathe. 
The words repeat in your head, the meaning of it all, the rawness in his tone. You’ve heard it before, he’s said it to you twice already but you never knew the actual meaning behind it and now, standing in front of him, hearing him say that appreciates the things he loves, it makes your heart thump.
“I’m sorry” Jaemin whispers to you quietly. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for not being honest and real with my feelings. It scares me, it has since everything with Eunbin—but I’m at fault too, I can’t put the entire blame on her. I hold myself back and I do things for selfish reasons… but I can’t keep doing that. It hurts people around me when I do and most importantly, it hurts you. I can’t handle hurting you. You mean too much to me”
He takes a few steps forward to stand close in front of you, reaching for your hands and caressing them in his own, thumbs smoothing over your knuckles before holding them in his grasp.
“Eunbin told me everything earlier, about what she asked you to do at the party” Your brows raise in shock at that, not expecting Eunbin to be the one that confesses first. “I don’t like Eunbin. I’d never give her a second chance, ever. You’re the only person that matters to me, so… don’t give up on me yet. Don’t let me go”
You can’t help but give him a teary smile, laughing softly as you squeeze his hands, the warmth in your chest spreading, “You still want to continue as exclusive fuck buddies?”
“God, no” Jaemin laughs at that, noticing your teasing tone before he smiles gently at you. “I want to be your boyfriend”
“My boyfriend?” You grow shy, feeling a little flustered and Jaemin’s grin widens at your reaction, leaning forwards to press a soft kiss to your forehead, trailing his lips down to your cheeks and placing a few kisses there. He reaches your nose next, leaving another soft kiss on the tip before his lips brush over your own.
“I’m ready to be your boyfriend if you’re ready to have one” He whispers against your lips and you nod, wanting to close the gap between you both but Jaemin leans back slightly, shaking his head. “Ask me first. I want to hear you say it”
“Will you be my boyfriend?”
“Yeah” Jaemin grins happily with a nod, letting go of your hands to cup your cheeks. “Yeah, I’ll be your boyfriend”
He presses his lips to yours gently and you kiss back almost instantly, lips moving slowly against one another as you melt in his touch, your own hands coming up to rest on the nape of his neck, threading his hair through your fingers.
The kiss turns feverish in seconds, a clash of tongue and teeth, a little nibbling and groping, and you break the contact to let out a surprised yelp when Jaemin bends down to grip the back of your thighs, hoisting you up in the air and you wrap your legs around his hips so you don’t fall.
He laughs, face muffled in your chest as he blindly carries you to your bedroom, a trip he knows awfully too well that he doesn’t make any mistakes or falls even when he’s unable to see the view. 
He closes your bedroom door behind himself with a simple kick of his foot before he drops you on the bed, his own body falling above yours and you laugh as he huffs, shuffling his way between your thighs with a grin. 
You expected him to kiss you again, to leave you breathless and wanting him but you’re surprised when Jaemin does nothing but caress your face softly, stroking your cheek and tracing the outline of your lips with his thumb.
He’s smiling so gently at you that it makes your heart flutter, the look in his eyes causing you to shy away and look elsewhere but your attention is soon back on him when he whispers your name, leaning down to finally reconnect your lips and you immediately reciprocate, pouring all of your affection and want into the kiss as you lips move against his while your hands fist at his shirt. 
Jaemin’s the first to take off his shirt and you follow shortly behind, pulling it over your head and dropping it mindlessly to the floor as Jaemin attaches his lips to your bare chest, leaving light, feathery kisses over your skin and you arch your back with a gasp, watching as he trails over your breast and down your stomach.
His touch is so oddly loving and caring it feels a little foreign, but your chest warms at the thought of him taking his time with you, cherishing this moment and drinking in every part of you. 
Jaemin hooks his fingers beneath your sleep shorts and pulls them down your legs along with your panties, and you squirm at the cold air that hits, knees knocking against his side but he pays no mind, deciding to lay on his stomach between your legs.
The sight of him staring at you from his position makes you feel shy, but the arousal builds up inside of you and you lift your hips to coax him into touching you, tasting you and you clench around nothing when he leans in, expecting to feel his lips or even tongue but you whine when you feel him press open mouth kisses across your inner thighs. 
“Are you doing this on purpose?” You dare to ask, leaning up on your elbows to look down at him.
He smiles, eyebrow twitching suggestively. “Just taking my time with you, baby”
Without warning, you feel his tongue slowly lap over your slit and you gasp, falling back against the bed as the tip wiggles between your folds before flicking over your clit, causing your hands to fly down to his hair and grip at the roots to ground yourself.
Jaemin seems to be enjoying the moment, moaning in your pussy and he messily slurps you up, sucking on your clit with the right amount of suction that has your body feeling electrified, a cry falling past your lips at the pleasure that swirls in the pit of your tummy.
You start roll your hips against his face, tightening your hold on his hair and Jaemin groans, the vibration on your pussy inching you closer and closer to your orgasm, and Jaemin takes it upon himself to hook one hand under your knee to push it up at an angle that helps him burying himself further in between your legs, mouthing at all the right places.
“Fuck” You curse loudly with a moan, unable to control your sounds as your orgasm builds up faster, the band in your tummy tonighting as your pussy clenches around the tip of his tongue that dips inside of you, the pressure and pleasure becoming too much for you to handle that the band snaps as you cum on his tongue.
“Good girl” Jaemin praises you softly, lapping you up eagerly as he helps ride out your orgasm, grinning as he feels your thighs tremble. 
You struggle to catch your breath, dry panting as you arch your hips away from his mouth and Jaemin’s chest rumbles with a laugh, letting go of your thigh as it drops limply to the bed as he crawls up your body to kiss your lips.
You taste yourself on his tongue and you moan, returning the kiss and sucking on his tongue to which he responds by rutting his hips into yours, confined cock pressing against your inner thigh.
“Take them off” You whisper into the kiss, hands grabbing at his jeans. “Please...take them off”
“Okay” Jaemin hums, tongue intertwining with yours as his own hands reach down to pop the buttons on his jeans, awkwardly shoving them down his legs along with his boxer briefs before kicking them off to the side.
You dip your hand down between your bodies to wrap your fingers around his cock, causing him to groan between the kiss as you pump him leisurely, feeling intoxicated with the way he pants against your lips, mouth agape as his breathing gets heavier and heavier with each tug of your hand.
You guide him to your entrance, coating his cock with your arousal as you slide the tip through your folds and Jaemin deeply exhales, pressing his lips together and he cranes his head down to see you position his cock and you awaiting hole, and he pushes his hips forwards, breaching your entrance. 
A strangled moan leaves your lips, having nothing of that significant size been up there in a while and Jaemin coos softly, taking your hand in his own to give it a gentle, reassuring squeeze as you both watch where you’re connected.
He sinks into you deeper as he kisses you, rolling his hips to thrust slowly, allowing your legs to wind around his waist and he brings your interlocked hands above your head, pushing them into the pillow as he gets comfortable above you.
This kiss is needy and affectionate, and each fluid roll of his hips has you seeing stars behind your closed lids, unable to control the sounds that leave your lips and Jaemin’s the same, cursing and grunting every time he bottoms out inside and you squeeze around him in return. 
Your grip on his hand tightens as your stomach knots, breaking the kiss to allow yourself to breathe when you begin to struggle for oxygen, staring up at him in bliss and he’s smiling down back at you, eyes dazed and lids fluttering with every roll of his hips.
But he buries his face into the crevice of your neck, leaving open mouthed kisses on your skin as the pace of his thrusts start to quicken, the wet noises of your pussy sucking in his cock fills the room along with your shameless noises of pleasure, and your free hand reaches up to grab the back of his head, threading your fingers through the roots as you nip at his shoulders.
“I’m gonna cum” You pant heavily as you feel yourself tinkering towards your second orgasm of the night.
“Me too, baby” He mumbles, groaning as your walls clamp around his cock. “Fuck, me too”
Your hand tightens around his as you reach your climax, whining as your legs tremble around his hips as the knot in your stomach loosens, cumming all over his cock. The feeling of your walls gripping him like a vice triggers his own climax and he’s moaning into your neck, releasing with long spurts that paint your insides and you gasp at the feeling of him filling you up, the warmth spreading. 
He stays above you for quite some time, basking in each other's presence and collecting your breath, staring at one another with giddy smiles which causes you both to laugh.
You love being with him like this, holding him in your embrace and seeing the happiness written across his face, the love and adoration that swirls in his eyes when he looks down at you and even though it makes you feel shy, you can’t help but get addicted to it. It’s something you want to see all the time. He looks so beautiful. 
“Hey…” You say softly and Jaemin hums to let you know you’ve got his attention, leaning into your palm when you rest it on his cheek. “I appreciate you”
His eyes widen a little at your words, but the smile gets bigger on his lips and he turns his head to the side to gently kiss your palm before looking back at you, honesty and tenderness within his tone as he says back, “I appreciate you too”
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➤𝗘𝗣𝗜𝗟𝗢𝗚𝗨𝗘.
“YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!” Miwoo screams as Donghyuck takes her by the arms and Yangyang by her legs as they both carry her towards the shore, threatening to throw her into the sea for her teasing jokes towards them both, neither of them backing down as they step into the water.
You laugh as you watch the scene play out, bringing the bottle up to your lips to take a sip as you rest back into Jaemin’s chest who sits behind you, his arms winding around your waist and kissing your cheek before resting his chin on your shoulder, watching the trio along with you.
Haru and Renjun sit on the beach blanket beside you both, his arm thrown around her shoulder and she resting into his side, mindlessly playing with his fingers as they speak quietly to themselves about something you can’t make out.
Jeno and Shotaro are sat on the other end of the beach blanket, the former getting up to join in with the trio while the latter stays seated, capturing pictures of the chaotic moment while laughing loudly, causing you and the others to laugh along.
The foursome arrive back to the group and Miwoo flops down beside Haru, grinning happily as the others take a seat too and she grabs her beer, raising it up in the air.
“I’d like to make a very dramatic speech and if none of you are crying by the end of it, I will drown you in the sea”
“Oh here we go” Renjun groans, but the smile on his face shows how much he’s teasing. 
“I just want to say that I’m proud of us. We’ve come a long way since the beginning and I’m happy we’re still here together… I don’t think I would’ve been able to become the person I am today without you guys by my side”
Donghyuck starts to playfully fake gag and Miwoo huffs, throwing her middle finger up at him and he begins to smile, returning her insult with some heart hands. 
“She’s right,” Shotaro agrees, raising his own bottle and Miwoo grins. “I get happy being with you guys. I wouldn’t want it any other way”
“Shotaro” Donghyuck coos as he reaches out to pinch Shotaro’s cheeks and Yangyang throws himself at him, the pair tumbling back into the sand as they laugh. 
“Also,” Miwoo starts up again, looking over at you this time. “I want to congratulate you on signing up for the writers trip you’ve been holding off for so long. You deserve to explore and write about all the places you see”
“Stop…” You chuckle, a little embarrassed under the attention and you feel Jaemin’s chest vibrate behind you as he laughs, pulling you closer to him and intertwining your hands, soothing his thumb over your knuckle. “I’m excited to go, but I’m sad to be leaving you guys”
“You’re acting like you’ll be gone forever” Yangyang says as he nudges your leg with a smile. “You’re only going for a few months”
“I know” You sigh, “I just know I’ll miss you guys”
“We also need to congratulate Haru and Renjun for taking the next step” Jeno announces as he looks at the pair. “Congratulations on moving in together”
“Finally away from you idiots” Renjun teases as he takes a sip of his drink and Haru shoulders him softly with a laugh. “Thanks, Jen”
Shotaro turns to Miwoo worryingly, “Are you going to be okay living on your own for a while?”
“Of course!” Miwoo smiles. “Y/N’s only going to be gone for a few months and I need to learn how to be independent, rely on myself for a little while”
“You know, if you need anything, you got us” Donghyuck speaks this time with a serious tone to Miwoo and she nods. 
“You always got us” Jeno chimes in this time, smiling over at Miwoo who smiles back happily and knocks her beer bottle against Jeno’s who lifts his up for a cheers and your heart warms at the two.
“The sun is setting, can I take a picture of us all together?” Jaemin asks as he points to his polaroid camera that sits on top of his backpack and the group eagerly agrees, standing up quickly and moving to stand in front of the sunset.
You and Jaemin both rise from the ground and you go to stand beside Miwoo as Jaemin sets up his polaroid to take the picture and you take this moment to appreciate everything that is going on around you, how the happy smiles on everyone's faces warms your heart.
Who would’ve thought that this was the way things would turn out after everything began? It baffles you, really. 
If someone told you a few months ago you’d be in a position where you’re happily with Jaemin as your boyfriend, surrounded by a strong friendship group and an upcoming writers trip, you would’ve possibly laughed, calling them stupid and unrealistic… Yet here you are, living out this moment.
You laugh to yourself, shaking your head as you lean into Jaemin as he comes to stand beside you, winding his arm around your waist and pressing his lips to your temple lovingly as he whispers to you those three words.
You’re unable to stop the grin that spreads across your cheeks.
You guess it’s just The Way Life Goes. 
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A.N| and that's the final of twlg. this had, undoubtedly, been such a wild rollercoaster to make. this fic has brought me a mixture off all different emotions going between happiness and anger, but it's over. and bro. i'm emotional. thank you for all the support you have given this series, it's been incredible, i'll never forget it.
i appreciate you♡
©mrkis
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ihaechans · 3 months
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Smile! (You’re on camera) || N.JM
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PAIRING ▸ Na Jaemin x fem!reader
GENRES ▸ pure smut
WARNINGS/CONTENT ▸ profanity, oral (m), hair pulling, throat fucking, praise, sexual photography/videos, dom!Jaemin, dirty talk, unbearable amount of pet names, slight hand job, spit kink (i apologize for this but not rlly...) unprotected sex (use protection plsss)
SUMMARY ▸Jaemin loves taking pictures. He loves the beautiful and captivating nature, golden sunsets, gloomy rainy days, and flower fields. The only sight that is his favorite though, is the one of his girlfriend on her knees.
WORD COUNT▸ 2.5k
A/N: First smut in like 5 months #yolo. this draft is so old it's been sitting half-completed for like a year and a half so I finally decided to just finish it today. Oops.
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Jaemin loved a lot of things.
Loved a lot of things about you to be exact.
First sight and he knew he had to have you, putting in hours and hours worth of effort. He's lucky it paid off. He scored the girl of his dreams, the girl he saw as perfect in every way and he’s so lucky he did.
He’s lucky for someone as perfect as you. He was lucky that someone could relate to him on an emotional level without feeling awkward or uncomfortable sharing his feelings with, one of the things he had feared you wouldn’t understand in the beginning. He loved the way you were unapologetically yourself, not hiding or masking your true self, being confident and bold in anyway you could.
He also thinks you’re the prettiest girl in the world, made just for him and him only. Everything about you was just perfect.
“Look at my pretty girl,” his voice sounds rough and strained, but his hand holds his camera steady. “You’re so perfect. Sucking my cock like a fucking pro.”
Nothing about this position was comfortable. Your knees are red and sore from kneeling on the wooden floors for a concerning amount of time, your jaw aching and your eyesight blurred by tears. You know you look a hot mess but Jaemin thinks you’re absolutely stunning.
His beloved camera is steady in one hand as the other finds purchase in your hair. Pulling, and tugging aggressively on your hair as you cry out around his thick cock, every moan and groan sending pleasurable vibrations throughout his body.
“Open up princess, show the camera that pretty little mouth.” and you do, letting his dick rest heavily on your tongue. “That’s it, baby. Now keep it open,” he demands, smiling happily when you cooperate without hesitation.
A fat string of Jaemin’s saliva lands on your tongue, a wicked smirk forming across his features when he grabs the base of his dick, slapping his tip across your tongue a couple of times to smear his spit around. 
“Mmh,” he groans, nearly cumming at the sight of your eager hand attempting to fully take him back into your mouth. “My sweet girl is a little impatient I see.”
In the beginning, you were never really a big fan of giving head, but being with Jaemin changed you. He was great in bed, and the first couple of times you two had sex, he would never let you suck him off. He always preferred giving instead of receiving, but something had awoken inside of you the first time he finally let you have a taste.
He was so vocal and appreciative of how skilled you were with your mouth, the praise and constant reminders of this were the sole reason why you kept doing it, and over time you came to enjoy it more and more. 
“Shit-” You lick at his sensitive tip before taking him back into your mouth, cheeks becoming hollow as you suck on him with fervor. “You love my cock don’t you pretty girl? Always so fucking good at sucking my dick. Made just for you baby.”
You simply nod at all his nonsense, barely paying him any mind as you continue sucking him harder, faster as seconds pass by. Your hand strokes his base and plays with his balls as you stare up at him, the overwhelming sensation feeling all too good. He stares at you from the other side of his camera, nearly forgetting to record when you trace the sensitive vein on the underside of his cock.
“Fuck yes.” He shudders, thighs beginning to shake uncontrollably as he nears his climax. “God baby, gonna let me cum down your tight little throat?” You nod without hesitation and immediately, the grip on your hair is unbearably sharp and painful, your boyfriend forcing your head down to take his entire cock down your throat.
You can barely breathe but you love it, your airway being stuffed full of your beloved boyfriend’s dick was something you would never complain about. “My baby looks so pretty. Mouth stuffed full of my cock and tears in her eyes.”
His voice is unstable and rushed, the intensity of his approaching orgasm making him sound winded.
He thrusts his cock down your throat a couple more times before blowing his load down your throat, almost causing you to choke as he demands you to swallow it all.
You’re sure that you’re drooling everywhere, lips smeared with his cum and your saliva.
“So fucking sexy. Open wide.” You do once more, showing the camera that you had indeed, swallowed all of his cum. “I’m not done with you yet princess, get on the bed.” Now that he’s finished, he sounds more relaxed and controlled, his voice steady and the camera following your every move.
Jaemin pulls his sweatpants back up as he watches you follow his orders. “Take your clothes off, I wanna see you baby.” In seconds, you are completely naked on his bed, waiting patiently for his next direction. “All fours.” Spinning around in a rush, you get on all fours, wiggling your ass in front of Jaemin and the camera. 
A hash slap is delivered to the flesh and you groan, mind wondering if Jaemin would be nice and stretch you out with his fingers or dive straight in to fucking you. Jaemin was big. The biggest you had ever seen. The heaviest you had ever handled too.
“Gonna fuck your tight little hole so good, just watch.”
You assume he’s talking to the camera since you are currently facing the bedsheets, about to beg him to do something when his fingers start rubbing against your folds. “Shit Jaem.. please fuck me…”
He simply ignores you, continuing his teasing touches against your cunt. You open your mouth to complain when he shoves a finger inside of you, a whine slipping out instead. “So warm. Wonder how good it’ll feel around my cock.” He groans, moving the camera closer to get a clearer view of his fingers shoved deep inside of your pussy.
“Please… oh my god.” When he finds the spot that makes your toes curl, you know it's over. Your climax approaching faster than you expected. “Stop! Please- I can’t.”
Jaemin is stuck in his own world, blocking out the sound of your pleas and whines as he watches your body quiver and flail around in front of him. “Just once princess, please cum for me and I promise I’ll fuck you.”
The softness in his tone throws you off for a moment and the pace of his fingers picking up speed nearly makes you choke. You’re so close, but the thing that makes you climax is the feeling of his tongue against your hole.
“Shit!” You curse, shivering as you reach your high. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!“ Jaemin doesn’t stop when you climax, and all you can do is cry out and plead for him to stop against the bedsheets.
“Look how pretty…” He whispers.
Your entire body feels numb as he continues to abuse your hole with his fingers, not once stopping until you feel another orgasm building up inside of you.
“Please Jaem- fuck! I cant Jaemin, stop, oh my god…” There’s tears in your eyes, the pressure becoming overwhelming. All you could hear was the sounds of your soaking wet cunt being abused by Jaemin's thick fingers as he chuckled evilly at your suffering.
His camera was focused straight on your core, the lens picking up every single detail. “Such a good girl, taking everything I give you.” and finally, he stops, leaving a harsh slap to your ass as he pulls his fingers out of you.
You’re writhing on the mattress, mouth hanging open as thin strings of drool slip out onto the sheets. “I- fuck, I can’t Jaem-“ you breathe, clearly out of breath.
“I haven’t even put my dick in you yet and you’re already fucked out? How cute.” He adjusts his grip on the camera so that it’s capturing the mess he’s made of your cunt perfectly, adding another slap to your ass for the video.
“Turn around and spread your legs for me baby,” Your boyfriend starts, stripping out of his sweatpants as he awaits you to follow his direction. “I’m gonna fuck you now.” 
Your whole body hurts already, and you’re barely able to follow his order, groaning weakly as you muster the strength to flip yourself around and spread your legs for Jaemin to see. A low curse leaving his lips as he stares at the mess he’s already made out of you.
The room felt muggy as a thin sheen of sweat formed on your forehead, strands of loose hair matting onto your skin and mascara starting to smudge from the heat your body was emitting. “Please fuck me..” Jaemin smirks proudly when he hears you whine for him, staring straight at you with dark eyes.
“Shit,” he curses under his breath, getting tired of holding the camera in his hand. “Gonna fuck this pussy so good.” and with that, Jaemin stops recording, throwing the camera down onto the carpet below.
Positioning himself between your spread legs, you could feel the heat radiating from his skin, wondering how it would feel inside of you next.
“You want it so bad,” he growled, stroking your cunt with his tip. “You’re going to take it all, aren’t you?”
The anticipation was nearly unbearable, and you nodded feverishly.
“Yes...please,” you whispered, desperate for the relief only he could provide you with.
With one swift movement, Jaemin thrusts into you, filling you completely and sending shockwaves of pleasure throughout your body. Jaw slack, you gasp and moan, the feeling of him inside of you completely overstimulating.
“Oh fuck, baby,” He panted, feeling your pussy clench around him. He picked up the pace, his thrusts getting harder and faster, his thighs slapping against your ass with each movement. You felt his cock hitting that spot deep inside of you, sending you soaring higher and higher with each surge.
“Oh god, Jaem, yes, harder, deeper,” you pleaded, your nails digging into the sheets as you arched your back, meeting his every thrust. Jaemin grunted in response, his voice hoarse with lust as he poured everything he had into you.
Another climax hit you, this one even more intense than the last, and you wailed out his name as you came, clenching around him until he thrust once more, his own release filling you.
As he collapsed onto you, both breathless and spent, you couldn't help but smile weakly, your body still trembling from the intensity of the experience. Jaemin looked down at you, his eyes softening as he gently kissed your forehead.
“You're so beautiful,” he murmured, stroking your hair. The camera had long since stopped recording, but the memories of this night would be forever etched in your mind along with every other moment you spent with Jaemin.
844 notes · View notes
lebrookestore · 4 months
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backburner | n.jm (teaser)
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Pairing: Na Jaemin x reader
Themes: college! au, exes! au, the situationship vibes are STRONG, angst, fluff, exes to ???, reader is a serial overthinker.
Warnings: profanity, heavy ANGST, kissing, food, underage alcohol consumption and alcohol consumption in general, jaemin is lowkey an asshole, more to be added for the full fic.
Word count for teaser: 580 | Estimated word count: 12-15k
Summary: After three months of ignoring your presence entirely, Na Jaemin saunters right back into your life without so much as single warning, leaving you to once again pick up the pieces of your burning heart.
Notes from brooke: a late christmas present from me<3 i'm back to writing my college aus so i hope all of you will enjoy my pain (literally).
[send an ask to be added to the taglist!]
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It was one in the morning when your phone rang.
A sigh left your chapped lips as you glanced down from the screen of your laptop to the device sitting by its side, your eyes burning at the too bright light emitting from your phone. The rest of your dorm was dark, having switched the lights off earlier at the request of your roommate, who had an early class the next day. 
Unfortunately for you, you had an assignment due the next day that you had, as usual, left for the last minute. Music played through your headphones as you tried to construct what you deemed a coherent enough essay to submit. 
Scrambling so you wouldn’t wake your roommate up, you pushed your headphones off and swiped the call icon across the screen of your phone, accepting it a second before you registered who the caller was. The contact glared at you as if it was mocking you for your carelessness and hastiness, causing you to bite down hard on the inside of your cheek.
Well. It was too late now.
Swallowing hard, you held your phone up to your ear and whispered. “Hello?”
“Hey.”
A breath you didn’t know you had been holding in escaped from your lips, having you shut your eyes and process his voice. It was funny, how just one inconsequential word from a single person could change your entire disposition.
“Jaemin? Are you okay?”
He hummed in response. “Yeah, I’m fine. I think I might be a little tipsy though.”
You could just imagine him right then, a glass being gripped loosely by his fingers, leaning against some wall as he spoke to you over the phone. The image was enough that you slipped out of your bed and pacing about your room as quietly as you could, restless.
“Oh. Um, don’t drink too much.”
He chuckled, a sound so familiar yet so distant to you. “I won’t, don’t worry.” 
Jaemin liked alcohol, you knew this much. He liked the way it would slowly hit his head and render him more easy going than he already was, causing that pretty smile of his to show more liberally. You were well versed with everything about him, from his walk to the way his eyes would express everything he was thinking, the slightly changes making themselves completely obvious for you,
The two of you had been so in tune with each other. Sometimes, you forgot how easy that made it for it all to fall apart.
“Okay.” You weren’t really sure where you were supposed to go with this conversation anymore. “Do you need something?”
“Not really.”
“Then….then why did you call me?” Bewilderment crept into your voice as clear as day. If you were in front of him right then, perhaps he would have teased you, tucking your hair behind your ear and muttering something about how cute you were. 
He stayed silent for a moment. “I just wanted to hear your voice.”
You stopped your pacing, coming to a standstill as his words settled over you. In the silence of the night, you were almost too aware of the way your heart rate increased ever so slightly.
Yunjin was right. There was hardly ever a time where your best friend’s advice wasn’t spot on, but this time you found yourself wishing you had complied and actually blocked him like she had suggested you do. Maybe then you wouldn’t have found yourself in such a position. 
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coming soon. | lebrookestore 2024
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jaemskitty · 7 months
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Agora Hills — N.JM & you
wc: corruption kink | sexo violento | leitora virgem | muitos "inhos" e "inhas" | age gap (dentro da lei) | dilf!jaemin | virgin kink (?) | size kink (too much) | dumbfication | deve ter mais coisas, porém é isso :D
gênero: smut e somente smut
n/a: olá, tudo bem? é basicamente minha estreia aqui depois de muito tempo, então minha escrita tá, no mínimo, enferrujada então peço perdão antes de tudo por tudo e qualquer coisa :) <3 bjocas e boa leitura. NÃO DEIXE DE LER OS AVISOS!
Na Jaemin. O que falar sobre Na Jaemin? Bom, desde que entendia-se por gente ouvia esse nome e via esse homem pelos corredores de sua grande casa. Era o melhor amigo do seu pai e você cresceu os ouvindo falar sobre negócios e negociações. Cresceu os vendo viajar juntos para cada lugar dos quatro cantos desse mundo em busca de algo como..Fechar contratos? Não sabia muito bem, nunca dava a mínima na verdade.
O que sabia era que aquele homem sempre roubava seu pai, Lee Jeno, de pertinho de você. Poxa, ficava tão tristinha...Seu pai sempre tão ausente, sempre um "depois eu vejo, minha princesa" para todas as suas cartinhas feitas a mão na escolinha. Suspirava e saía para chorar até a pontinha do nariz ficar avermelhada de tanto fungar.
Só queria atenção.
Todavia fora crescendo e Jaemin continuava ali. Alguma coisa mudou. Mudou porque seu pai sempre foi acostumado a lhe corresponder de longe, mas Na Jaemin parecia sempre corresponder de perto. Ele parecia sempre por perto, sempre nos momentos certos, nas horas certas...Era tão suspeito, mas você era tão bobinha.
Bobinha. Era isso que talvez chamasse atenção do homem. Na verdade era sim, Jaemin já havia assumido a si mesmo o desvio de caráter que tinha ao desejar cegamente a filhinha de seu melhor amigo. Só não aceitava, mas você era tão linda, tão dócil e ultimamente vinha o buscando mais do que o que costumava. Jaemin também não ficava impune nessa, sempre se martirizava ao te buscar pra qualquer pretexto que fosse, só pra te ver toda lindinha em seu quarto cor de rosa. E você ficava linda nesses tons. Queria perdidamente te arruinar.
Ele queria tanto manchar esses tons de rosa bebe.
Você também não entendia nem um pouco essa necessidade que sentia da aprovação de Na Jaemin, não entendia o porque de seu corpinho pedir a presença dele 24/7 nem que fosse pra um mínimo sorriso ou boa noite sussurrado quando você passava por ele e seu pai na sala de estar, pronta e vestidinha para encontrar suas amigas de cursinho.
Na verdade não entendia nadinha sobre o que seu corpo sentia com um mísero olhar do homem mais velho sobre seu corpinho vestido e enfeitado de laços cintilantes. Era um frio que vinha da espinha e esbarrava entre suas perninhas. Corava porque desconhecia.
As vezes chegava a suspirar.
Nossa, era um sentimento tão ruinzinho quando alguma de suas amigas atrevidas perguntava mais sobre aquele homem tomando uísque na sala de sua casa ao lado de seu pai.
Como acontecia exatamente agora.
— O que vocês acham que eles estão conversando? parece tãao chato, mas ele é tão atraente...não acha, ____?
Era Yeri quem falava pelos cotovelos e você sem perceber já tava' carrancuda, respirando fundo com o queixo descasando contra a palma da mãozinha cheirando a hidratante de morangos.
— Eles estão sempre falando das mesmas coisas...E ele é um chato. — você falou baixinho, revirando os olhos e virando o rostinho em direção a grande janela de vidro que exibia a perfeita visão de seu pai e Jaemin naquela enorme sala com iluminação amarelada.
Seu corpo quase tiltou quando os olhos ambíguos do homem encontraram os seus tão rasos e indefesos. Não soube como sair daquele looping, somente quando Dahyun a cotucou.
— Meu Deus, ele tá olhando! Será que percebeu a nossa conversa? — ela parecia muito eufórica e antes que você desviasse assustada viu o Na sorrir lentamente, sacana demais enquanto levava o copo de uísque aos lábios bonitos.
Sua barriga deu um nó. Um nó gostoso. Aquela porra daquela sensação deliciosamente desesperadora.
O que poderia fazer a respeito? Não sabia, vivia aquele drama diariamente. Aquela maldita sensação melecada entre as perninhas e era sempre um alívio – ou quase – quando esfregava elas uma na outra em sua cama quentinha durante a madrugada.
E se perguntou de repente em pensamentos se o Na sentia a mesma coisa, ou se estava ficando maluca... Coisa assim. Ele nunca perceberia uma pirralha como você, mas e se talvez perguntasse? Não era uma má ideia, era? Inferno, você era tão ingênua.
Yeri estalou os dedos na frente de seu rosto e você então acordou do transe novamente, aflita sorriu para a amiga e viu que talvez já não estivesse bem para estar naquela grande varanda a noite com suas amigas.
— Alô? Amiga, tá' tudo bem? Tipo, seu pai acabou de sair daqui às pressas e você nem notou...— Yeri relatou apontando para a Ferrari de seu pai que já fazia toda a manobra para sair daquele grande terreno de sua casa.
— T-tá tudo bem, sim... Meninas, eu vou precisar entrar...P-preciso fazer algumas coisas do meu trabalho individual do curso...— não havia desculpa melhor naquele instante, sua cabeça estava um pouco sobrecarregada. Seu corpinho tava' sobrecarregado.
.
— Onde ele foi? – no fundo você sabia bem onde Lee Jeno havia ido e com toda certeza era algum caso, como de costume. Lembra-se bem do dia em que sua mamãe a deixou por conta disso e ela não pensou duas vezes e sequer olhou para trás. Sentia-se tão sozinha.
O Na então deixou o copo de vidro sobre a mesinha de centro onde também havia muito material de trabalho, papeladas e tudo mais. Por trás do grande sofá você o olhou nos olhos, aqueles olhos intensos e preguiçosos. Aquela sensação toda correndo por cada lugarzinho do seu corpo. Apertou o estofado entre os dedinhos e esperou uma resposta, mas tudo o que recebeu fora o homem mais velho batendo de levinho ao seu lado no sofá. Você travou tentando saber se era realmente aquilo que havia entendido, pois poucas as vezes havia estado tão pertinho dele.
Mordeu o lábio e esperou uma confirmação, essa que veio até mais rápido que o esperado.
— Vem aqui, lindinha, vem... Senta aqui, eu não mordo, você sabe... — havia algo sobre aquilo que não te cheirava bem e talvez fosse a maneira que entre suas perninhas latejava ou como sua nuca arrepiou, mas resolveu ignorar e caminhar quase que receosamente até onde o Na indicou.
A voz dele lhe atormentava noites a fio. Tudo sobre ele. Tudo sobre ele pairava na sua cabecinha de uma forma que talvez já fosse o estopim.
Engoliu em seco e sentou-se ao lado dele. Os pezinhos com meias soquete estavam no ar devido ao seu minúsculo tamanho e percebeu isso porque se sentiu tão reduta ao lado dele, principalmente quando ele te mirou. O cheiro dele te deixou um pouco tonta, então encostou-se no assento fofinho com aqueles olhinhos de boneca brilhantes em direção ao mesmo. Aquele homem ficaria louco e no laudo estaria escrito seu belo nome.
E não, não era somente você...Jaemin só queria te por no colo e foder cada cantinho do seu corpo jovial. Sua aura virginal o enlouquecia e ele tinha certeza que ver você corada e choramingando entre gemidos seria demais para ele.
Mordeu a boquinha coberta de gloss de cerejas e mirou o rosto do homem ao seu lado, balançando as perninhas você suspirou lentinho descendo por toda a feição rígida de Jaemin...Desde aquelas sobrancelhas harmoniosas até o pomo-de-adão ressaltado.
— Onde está o papai...? — sua voz era baixinha, quase lacrimando e não sabia se de tesão ou de carência. Talvez ambos. Queria tanto saber que sabor teria a boca daquele a sua frente e ficou como uma pimenta, avermelhada, somente em cogitar selar os lábios do melhor amigo de seu pai, então teve que – por impulso – desviar rapidamente, mirando as próprias coxas sob a sainha plissada e reparando o quão prensadas elas pareciam.
Jaemin percebera, ele sabia... Ele sabia de absolutamente tudo. Ele sempre soube, pois você era burrinha, era burrinha e descuidada...Sempre mordendo os lábios ou com aquelas perninhas esfregando uma na outra e ele se perguntou qual sabor seu melzinho teria. Puta merda, ele jurou que poderia ficar louco. Sua mente era seu maior martírio e ele estava pertinho de pedir arrego como um covarde. Ou não, veja bem...ele tentou por tanto tempo.
Jaemin era um homem podre por te querer tanto assim? Por querer te fazer choramingar enquanto acostuma como seu pau grosso indo tão fundo? Por Deus, ele só queria te ouvir implorar para ter calma. Fechou o punho e passou a mão desde o rosto até os cabelos, cansado ele afrouxou a gravata e isso não passou despercebido sob seus olhinhos.
A tensão era palpável e qualquer um perceberia a metros de distância.
— Seu pai precisou sair e bom, como sempre somos eu e você, pirralha.
A voz rouca lhe fez apertar ainda mais as coxas miúdas e ele assistia tudo se perguntando até onde iria sua conduta e de como Jeno repetiu inúmeras vezes um "cuida da minha menina"...Pois bem, ele cuidaria muito bem.
Engoliu porque já esperava aquela resposta, mas não esperava o que viria a seguir dela;
— Vamos dar uma volta? Comer alguma coisa, hm? — ele sugeriu tirando alguns fios de cabelo de cima do seu gloss, pondo atrás de sua delicada orelha. Seu coração parecia que iria explodir dentro do peito e seus olhinhos miraram aquele cuidado.
— Eu e você, senhor Na? — ele sorriu tão próximo ouvindo aquilo sair de sua boquinha.
— Você e eu. — ele assentiu devagar quase bêbado.
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Eram por volta das duas da manhã e você estava dentro do carro importado de Na Jaemin em um rumo que sequer conhecia. Ele era bonito em absolutamente tudo o que fazia, mas dirigindo havia lhe feito quase explodir com aquelas sensações conflitantes. Algo sobre a madrugada ao lado de Na Jaemin enquanto comia seu fast food no banco do carona.
Era folgada apesar de tudo, folgada e abusada e provocava aquele homem de formas indiretas, quase inocente. Jaemin tinha a paciência de um monge e já poderia subir aos céus somente pela sua resistência dos deuses aquele corpinho jovial que pedia uma surra de pica. Ele estava por um fio e suas perninhas jogadas ali na visão do homem enquanto seus pezinhos ainda de meias descansavam preguiçosos sobre o painel de seu carro não ajudava tanto assim em sua sanidade.
Porra, quem ele queria enganar? Valia a pena perder Jeno e sua amizade de longa data a troco de comer sua filha? Valia.
As ruas estavam calmas, os sinais vermelhos eram ultrapassados e você sorria encantada por isso pois, talvez, aquilo fosse a coisa mais ilegal que já havia feito em 19 anos de sua vida. Seu centro não parava de latejar um instante, nem o frio daquela noite era o suficiente para a quentura que sentia perto de Na Jaemin.
— Senhor Na? — sussurrou audível e balançou uma perninha para lá e para cá sem se importar se estava de saia ou não pois seu corpinho pedia e te guiava aquele comportamento devasso perto do homem.
Era inexplicável e ele percebia isso.
— uh? — ele perguntou em um grunhido, observando a rua com aquela camisa meio aberta no peitoral marcado e você quase esquecera o que queria perguntar.
— Senhora Na, o senhor já é bem vivido, não é? — perguntou docilmente ingênua e aquilo deixou o homem em um estado sorridente e quase em êxtase.
Sua ingenuidade o deixava de pau duro, era essa a verdade. Duro. Duro pra caralho. pronto para afundar e fazer um estrago em seu pequeno corpo e ele se perguntava se você aguentaria aquilo tudo. Era perversa, a mente de Na Jaemin era perversa.
Ele apenas assentiu ainda guiando o carro pelas avenidas de Agora Hills na maior tranquilidade do mundo – pelo menos por fora.
— E-eu tenho uma dúvida e...Bom, eu não tenho ninguém...— e percebeu que era mais solitária do que imaginava.
Então ele te olhou depois de tanto evitar e não podia mentir para si mesmo que você daquele jeito tão exposto não tava' o deixando quase de bolas azuis. Por qual razão tinha que parecer tão errado? Ele era mais velho, bem mais velho mas e daí?
— Pode falar, pirralha...o Nana pode tentar te ajudar, você sabe que sim...
E não haveria outro momento ou outra forma. Era algo normal, não era? Seu tesão fodido por aquele homem.
— Nana, o que é-... bom... eu não sei, sinto algo estranho quando t-tô com o senhor e-...
O homem freou calmamente, mas por dentro ele estava em uma euforia inexplicável.
— Estranho? — e você assentiu. — Estranho como, lindinha? Diz pro nana o que você sente e como sente, diz...
Você ainda segurava o milkshake mas não consumia, fechou então as perninhas e pressionou o quando pôde buscando alívio pra aquela sensação que só piorava. Os olhinhos aguados mirou o homem mais velho ao seu lado. Jaemin observando tudo tocou ali, tocou sua coxa de forma cínica, te encorajando.
— Formigando... As vezes lateja e eu não sei como fazer isso passar, Nana! entre as minhas perninhas... e todas as noites eu sinto isso... então eu fecho elas e procuro algum alívio...alguma coisa...q-qualquer coisa, senhor n-na... — apertou o milshake nas mãozinhas bem cuidadas e mirou a rua vazia. Seu peito subia e descia tão rudemente e não sabia como controlar, mas também não havia tanto pudor afinal era um universo de coisas sujas que não conhecia nem a pontinha do iceberg.
Jaemin mirou-te devagar, perspicaz pois cada passo a seguir poderia ser incerto, porque no fundo no fundo Jaemin não era um completo filho da puta, ele sabia que aquilo não era moralmente correto apesar de sua maioridade. Meu deus, você era apenas uma boneca. Uma bonequinha...E ele estava duro. Engoliu em seco e em um silencio torturante guiou o carro outra vez, em uma velocidade absurda.
Sua adrenalina estava a mil e se perguntava se havia sido uma boa ideia ter exposto aquilo, por mais curiosa que fosse poderia ter guardado um pouco mais para si. Algo sobre a expressão rigidamente seria do Na te deixava apreensiva, apreensiva e ainda mais meladinha ali. Ele estava indo de volta a sua casa, conhecia o caminho.
— S-senhor Na...fala alguma coisa, e-eu...— procurou formular alguma coisa, e quando ele fizera a curva para sua residência tocou sua perna novamente, então a diferença de tamanhos ficou mais aparente e aquelas coisas crescendo cada vez mais dentro de si.
Jaemin mirou suas coxas macias e pensou o quão sua mão poderia marcar aquela pele bonita, doce e virgem. Seu cacete marcava na calça social e você percebeu, corada pelas inumeras sensações se perguntou o que estava acontecendo. O que em si havia o deixado daquela maneira.
Doía tanto nele quanto doía em você?
O milkshake havia perdido o sabor, a noite parecia ainda mais fria tendo em consideração seu corpinho febril e só queria que aquela tortura passasse. Queria respostas. Queria resoluções. Queria Na Jaemin. Queria beijá-lo e...queria tantas coisas que seu corpinho pedia. Queria atar um nó aquele homem. Queria expor a cada amiga sua o quão aquele homem poderia ser seu. Chegava a suspirar...
E Na Jaemin queria você, porra como ele queria...
Queria exibir você tanto quanto você queria.
A boneca dele. A bonequinha de Na Jaemin.
E ele iria. Foda-se, ele iria.
Jaemin estacionou o carro em um solavanco e você segurou-se o mirando curiosamente amedrontada. Antes que pudesse questionar ele havia saído e dado a volta, estourando a camisa nos antebraços abriu a porta do passageiro te puxando pelo bracinho deixando ali a primeira marca do dia. Praticamente te arrastou para dentro de casa e seu corpo arrepiava incompreendida se de frio ou...por aquilo. Não relutou, apenas balbuciou algumas coisas que nem você mesma estava ouvindo. Tinha o irritado? Por qual motivo aquilo te excitava tanto?
Ele era tão forte. Só deu por si quando Jaemin subiu as escadas até o seu quarto onde a fez sentar-se na cama e sentir-se tão miúda diante de tanta fúria.
Daquela posição poderia ver todo o corpo forte do Na, e meu Deus ele era perfeito. O peitoral marcado em uma formosa harmonia com seus braços enormes que chegava a apertar o tecido da camisa social... Os antebraços a mostra e as veias correndo até suas mãos e logo ali embaixo a calça preta marcava o pau grande e fodidamente duro.
Se pegou suspirando alto e os olhinhos presos ali naquela protuberância; esfregou as coxas e então mirou o homem nos olhos novamente. Tão linda, você era tão linda, tão miúda, tão perfeita...Jaemin iria acabar com você e sentia dó.
— Mostra pra' mim como você se alivia, mostra...— ele então ditou rouco, a voz embebida de tesão. Os dedos foram até a própria camisa, abrindo com uma pressa controlada. — Mostra pro Nana, boneca...
Você engoliu o que parecia espinhos e corada prensou as coxas uma na outra, esfregando devagar e precisa enquanto suspirava e mirava o homem ali em pé lhe observando quebrar, derreter, despedaçar a olho nu. Totalmente exposta e por mais que não conhecesse nada do universo adulto sentia que aquilo era humilhante, no mínimo, mas a deixava mais molhada, a deixava mais afoita por um atrito que fosse na sua bucetinha pois somente suas coxas esfregando não era mais suficiente.
Mordeu o lábio e faltou soluçar, os olhinhos já formando lágrimas prazerosas e de puro desespero. Jaemin franziu o cenho ao abrir a camisa inteira, nunca tirando os olhos dos seus. Nunca deixando de reparar em como você era burrinha e não conhecia o próprio corpinho. Ele sentiu dó de imaginar como você se aliviava, porque àquilo não parecia surtir efeito algum.
Você esfregava e esfregava, apertava e apertava. os pezinhos roçando devido ao atrito e aquelas malditas meias ainda estavam ali. Jaemin viu a primeira lágrima escorrer de seus lindos olhinhos quando ele tocou a fivela do cinto e desfez. Segurou um próprio grunhido e apertou o cacete entre os dedos ao te ver desesperada.
Desespero era sim uma boa palavra.
— N-nana...! — suplicou baixinho e o soluço finalmente saiu. se você estava devastada com absolutamente nada, quem dirá quando ele te tocasse de verdade. — N-nana me a-ajuda...e-eu... meu D-deus...Nana faz i-isso passar...
Era muito tesão para alguém tão compacta. Ele sorriu maldoso te vendo desmoronar e sentiu que precisava de mais...
— É assim que se alivia pensando em mim? — você apenas assentiu e ele já estava com a calça social aberta.
Jaemin não era macio e infelizmente não era agora que iria ser. Ele tinha um carinho especial por ti, talvez até amasse, mas a sua imundicie sobressaia afinal ele fantasiava sobre como te destruir seria prazeroso. Porra, como ele sonhava...e estava literalmente acontecendo.
Sua bucetinha estava tão molhadinha e bem no seu ventre uma contração gostosinha acontecia e então você tocou ali. Nada passava despercebido por Jaemin, seu olhar preguiçoso era perspicaz e matador.
— Porra, você é tão linda, boneca... — a mão do Na tocou sua bochecha e foi quase instintivo virar o rostinho e deixar um beijinho ali, fechando os olhinhos sentiu o cheiro das mãos masculinas, o mirando após sair de sua viagem pessoal.
— Sou a sua boneca, nana? — sua vozinha estava mais manhosa que o normal.
— Sim...uma boneca...linda...perfeita para mim. Vai pra' pertinho das suas pelúcias e deita, hm?
Devagar seu corpinho mexeu-se até ali, associando lentamente cada informação. Deitou a cabeça contra um dos seus grandes ursinhos, sentindo o cheirinho de baunilha das próprias coisas.
Seu quarto era enfeitado em tons pasteis e aquilo estranhamente enlouquecia o homem que agora subia também em sua cama. Aquele contraste imoral estava deixando ambos fora de si, ainda mais quando ele abriu suas perninhas e ficou ali ajoelhado entre estas, suspirando pesado e apertando suas carnes nos dedos grandes e bonitos.
Você era menor ainda quando ele se sobressaia dessa forma, totalmente palpável e nada era dificuldade para Jaemin em seu corpinho.
— Eu vou arruinar você...
— h-hm? — questinou e sentiu a palma da mão quente de Jaemin bem em seu pescoço, bem como um aviso e seu coração errou uma batida.
— Quieta. Shhh...— avisou mirando você tão de perto e aquilo te arrepiou, só nao mais que o beijo que ele lhe dera em seguida.
Puta que pariu, ele realmente havia te beijado.
Jaemin suspirou alto ao te ouviu grunhir tentando acompanhar aquele ósculo. Era tudo completamente novo e tão bom. A língua daquele homem fazia sua bucetinha latejar e seus choramingos a deixava com a passagem totalmente livre para ele te engolir e foder sua boquinha com a língua.
— Cadela...! — Jaemin rosnou contra sua boca e chupou sua linguinha antes mesmo que contestasse, rasgando com facilidade sua blusinha de cetim caro.
O tecido rosa rasgando a assustou, mas foi tão bom quanto aquele xingamento.
A mão do homem saiu de seu pescocinho até sua nuca e a guiou outra vez em mais um beijo molhado, descendo desde seu pequeno lábio até seu colo quente e exposto.
A boca de Jaemin era quente como lava e sentir ele próximo de seus peitinhos estava a deixando ansiosa.
— S-senhor N-na...! — a voz dengosa fez o pau do homem pulsar e uma das mãos agarrar seu peitinho direito com fúria quase machucando, mas era exatamente isso que ele queria.
Não respondera, apenas a olhou e iniciou uma sucção em seu biquinho endurecido. O homem estava nos céus tanto quanto você. Sua boca abriu-se em um gemido perdido e Jaemin poderia jurar que era o paraíso, um combo simplesmente perfeito de mamar em seus peitinhos e te ver suplicando por isso. Seus dedinhos subindo nos cabelos da nuca do homem mais velho ali, quase cobrindo seu corpinho inteiro com o próprio.
— p-por favor...por favor...— Pediu com todo seu ser por mais porque ao mesmo tempo que atiçava seu centro aquilo curava. Era a primeira vez na vida que sentia algo verdadeiro.
Abriu-se de fato como uma cadela, abrigando aquele homem ali sentindo-o chupar seus biquinhos como se não já estivessem sensibilizados demais, como se não estivessem vermelhinhos e pontudinhos demais. Jaemin não queria parar por nada nesse mundo, então simultaneamente tocou sua pequena buceta coberta pela calcinha de algodão e porra, estava encharcada, pingando... Ele mordeu devagarinho seu biquinho esquerdo para descontar aquela ansiedade nivelada em luxúria e seu gemidinho o destruiu.
E seus olhos encontram-se.
.
Seus peitinhos estavam destruídos e sua calcinha já havia sido rasgada da mesma forma que sua blusinha. Agora tudo o que tinha em seu corpinho eram suas meias e a mini-saia plissada.
Jaemin segurava o pau pesado entre os dedos e bombeava toda aquela pré-porra entre os dedos. Grunhiu mirando a sua entradinha rosada e melecada completamente exposta para ele e exclusivamente dele.
O homem rosnou esfregando com força contra seu botãozinho, misturando a pré-porra ao seu melzinho. O nervosismo fazia um mix com sua vontade intensa daquilo e resultava em sua bucetinha praticamente jorrando.
— N-nana...— pediu baixinho mordendo o dedinho, chamando por aquele homem que esfregava o cacete em você com toda sua vontade.
Ele era tão lindo e aquilo parecia surreal. Queria que o mundo inteiro soubesse que estava prestes a ser dele. Queria se gabar. Sentia-se de fato a boneca de Na Jaemin.
Se seu pai sonhasse ao menos com isso...Porra, como Jaemin era sujo. Imundo. Perverso.
E você amava isso mais que tudo.
Arreganhada ali você se perguntou se aquilo tudo caberia dentro de si, tendo em vista que estava tao sensibilizada pelo orgasmo que o na havia lhe dado com os dedos. porra, ele ia tão fundo e te fazia abrir-se inteira so com aqueles olhos.
Olhava quietinha e hipnotizada para aquele pau...tão grande, grosso...melado e avermelhado... as veias saltavam e pulsavam. Jaemin parecia depender daquilo...os cabelos grudados na testa suada e gotas desciam por suas temporas.
Perfeito. Queria lamber ele inteiro, mas tudo o que conseguia era mira-lo como uma puta burra. Ofegante.
Jaemin sorriu sacana e dera uma primeira investida, sentindo sua entradinha tão fechada resistir expulsando-o, então voltou a esfregar.
— Porra...tão apertada...como vou fazer caber isso tudinho aqui dentro, hm? — ele era imundo e tinha uma boca imunda. Grunhiu manhosa também imaginando. Suadinha você chupou o próprio indicador o olhando com os olhinhos lacrimados. — Acabei de dedar essa bucetinha, boneca...sabe que o nana tem que entrar, não sabe?
Assentiu e ele forçou-se para dentro, rosnando grosseiro ao adentrar a cabecinha bem ali. Ele te ouviu choramingando e barrou sua tentativa de fechar as perninhas, segurando com as mãos ásperas.
— Nananinanao...onde tá' sua obediência? Abre as pernas.
— D-doi...Nana...
— Abre. as. pernas. — e ele te abriu como se fosse nada enquanto usava de sua voz profunda. Você soluçou e o viu posicionar-se perfeitamente para foder até mesmo sua alma. — Você me pediu e eu vou te ajudar...se oferece dentro do meu carro como uma vadia mimada e carente e agora simplesmente quer fechar essas perninhas lindas...
Segurou sua bochecha apenas pra te da um leve solavanco para o lado e socar os dedos fundo em sua garganta enquanto se força pra dentro do seu cantinho apertado e úmido. Grunhiu agarrando as pelúcias acima de sua cabeça ao sentir aquele homem lhe tirar totalmente a pureza de uma vez.
O tamanho de Jaemin inteiro entrando ali, esticando sua bucetinha a todo custo, fodendo seu espacinho e reivindicando o lugar dele. Jaemin gemia rouco a cada centímetro abrigado e naquela posição tão exposta só se deu conta de seu limite quando ele socou até o último centímetro e finalmente sentiu o colinho de seu útero. Cheia, completamente cheia. Franziu o cenho com os olhinhos cheios e a boca lotada dos dedos de Jaemin enquanto levava uma de suas mãos até o abdômen do homem tão próximo de si, o avisando que era demais para si.
Ele sorrira e tirou sem nenhum esforço, girando os quadris e suspirando de olhos fechados com seu interior quentinho quase o esmagando.
— Tão miúda...minha boneca, tão pequenina...agora não é mais uma mocinha...já era...agora é minha...minha cadelinha burra...olha o que você fez... — ele saiu lentamente e voltou com intensidade, arruinando seu interior dando adeus a sua virgindade. Você sentiu a lágrima descer num misto de sensações. Estava no céu e no inferno ao mesmo tempo. — fodendo com o melhor amigo do seu pai...dentro do seu quarto...pra onde vai a sua honra, hm? p-porra como aperta, bebezinha...
Ele grunhiu impulsionou o quadril novamente te moldando inteira. Se sentia cheia, completamente cheia de pau. perguntou-se como conseguiu leva-lo, porem sempre que ele batia lá percebia que ele era demais para si. Queria ser uma boa menina, queria levar tudo.
Te segurar quietinha enquanto os quadris fortes dele desciam a pancada contra os seus não era nada demais, você era mais que maleável e não era nada para aqueles braços enormes que te mantinham abertinha.
Revirou os olhinhos e não conseguia expor nada além de choramingos encobertos de suplicas incompreensíveis. Completamente burra. Jaemin socava e socava e socava com tanta vontade que se perdia completamente sem perceber a força usada, mas aquele homem sabia o que fazer.
Os cabelos suados e agora todo o peitoral bem como encoberto de arranhões. Jaemin rosnou e o manteve dentro te vendo soltar um gemido mudo, e ele sorriu puxando seu lábio numaa mordida.
— Tão bobinha...tão burrinha...apertada...uma bucetinha tão boa de destruir...eu já comi tantas mulheres na minha vida, ____...mas nenhuma delas tinha essa buceta de ninfeta gostosa que você tem...porra! — uma pancada relativamente forte teria a tirado do lugar se não fossem as mãos fortes do Na a mantendo ali.
E ele voltou com vontade, sentindo que não duraria tanto assim e você não estava diferente, porque a cabeça do pau de Jaemin atingia repetidamente seu lugarzinho alarmante naquela posição e queria por tudo sentir aquilo outra vez, ainda mais cheia daquele homem.
— N-nana...m-me destroi...por f-favor..— suplicou sem pensar segurando o rosto suado do homem e o viu ofegar, assistiu cada expressão prazerosa daquele canalha enquanto contraia contra a grossura do mesmo.
— a-ahn...n-nana...— chamava. suplicava. pedia...manhava.
Ele fechou os olhos enquanto movimentava o quadril e os sons cada vez mais melados indicava que ambos estavam próximos do que seria o fim. Jaemin era um homem resistente e sentiu sua bucetinha apertar, mostrando que estava gozando e todo seu corpinho tremelicou sob o dele. A sensibilidade á mil e seus gemidos finos e alarmantes enquanto ele perseguia o próprio fim.
Iria ser o bom filho da puta que era, iria encher seu útero. Iria inundar. Guardou aquela porra por tanto tempo pra sua menininha. Jaemin enterrou o rosto bem na curva de seu pescocinho e gemeu enquanto acelerou e com forca desmedida estocou sua bucetinha ardida.
Não aguentava mais, estava sensível. Era dolorido na mesma medida que era gostoso. Suas perninhas balançando e seu corpinho no mesmo ritmo agressivo daquele homem por cima de você. Sua bucetinha sofria toda a ira de Na Jaemin.
Merda, tantas noites ele fantasiou com isso...
— A-ah, caralho...! — ele clamou e você gritou manhosa quando ele bateu outra vez em seu colo, contraindo.
Cada vez mais bruto e seu corpo dava sinais de que talvez fosse demais.
— n-nana...! p-papai...! papai...— e aí foi o fim daquele pobre homem.
Ele enterrou-se em seu canalzinho e nem se importou em perceber que talvez machucasse, mas tinha percebido sua tendência a gostar daquilo. Jaemin deu a melhor esporrada de sua vida...gozou tanto que era possível sentir cada pulsada dele dentro de você. Gemeu longamente manhosa enquanto se apertava inteira naquela dorzinha gostosa que era te-lo inteiro enterrado dentro de si e teve seu terceiro orgasmo.
A respiração ofegante de ambos denunciava que aquilo havia sido bem mais que intenso...Estava como Jaemin prometeu que te deixaria; destruída.
n/f: sinta-se a vontade para comentar e críticas construtivas serão bem vindas nas minhas ask ou chat :)) qualquer comentário maldoso será ignorado e apagado. xoxo.
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ruwriteshours · 9 months
Text
WHERE WERE YOU? ✵ (N.JM)
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⇉ pairing: na jaemin x fem! reader
⇉ genre: angst, comfort, fluff, smut (MINORS DNI)
⇉ summary: Your sweet loving boyfriend is always by your side during your bad days. What if one day, he can't be there for one of your worst?
⇉ warning: anxiety attacks, minor self-harm, sexual content
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You felt it again.
The same horrid feeling in the pit of your stomach, making its way to your chest. You could feel your heartbeat pumping loudly that it was too unbearable to listen. Your whole body was shaking in anxiety, your breath felt clogged.
It was too hard to breath.
You remembered the technique Jaemin had taught you.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.
That happened for the past few minutes and unfortunately, no progress was made. If anything, you felt more suffocated than ever and you wanted nothing more than to be in the arms of your loving boyfriend.
You hesitated for a split second, afraid that you would feel like a burden. However, you could recall his words very clearly.
"Always come to me."
And so you did. As you stumbled your way to the bedroom to grab your phone, you shakily typed in the message you were going to send to your boyfriend.
You: Jaemin, I feel scared again.
As you awaited for his reply, the dreaded emotions you felt was impossible for you to stay composed. Beating your chest with your fist to stop the haunting sounds that were fueling in your anxiety.
Not a minute later, you hear a light 'ding' from your phone, indicating a text. Your heart felt more broken than ever when you read the text aloud.
Nana 💞: I'm busy rn
Nana 💞: Just do what we've been doing.
You frowned at his text. Not expecting it to sound harsh but you let it slide, thinking it was just your overthinking mind that was making you think negative thoughts and that he was probably doing his best to help you.
You: I can't. I've tried.
You: I need you here, Jaemin.
The speech bubble went on and off. You could tell that he was having trouble replying to you, but nevertheless, a part of you hoped that he would be on his way.
Nana 💞: You can handle it, Y/N.
Nana 💞: I can't always be thr to help you.
Nana 💞: I don't have time.
Nana 💞: I gotta go.
And just like that, he went offline. Despite a few more texts you sent, telling him that you needed him, you were only met with a single tick. You felt defeated as ever as you tried to remain calm. Deep down, you were disappointed in him but more so in yourself. You should've known from the start that you shouldn't have been too depended on someone to take care of you. You were beating yourself up for even having the thought of disturbing Jaemin.
He had always been there for you and this was one of the few times he wasn't home and yet you couldn't even handle it. God, how useless could you be.
You quickly dashed towards the front of the house, leaving your belongings behind in hopes that the fresh breeze of air would help you cool your mind.
Hours has passed and Jaemin was finally done with practice. He was feeling burnt out as ever, tired and frustated from the lack of rest he had for the past few days. As he reached for his phone, he saw the notifications from you. All of it begging him to come back home.
He felt his sanity crept back in as he realised how much he had been an ass. He was exhausted but that gave him no excuse to treat you like that. His heart dropped when he realised you were having one of your episodes and that he wasn't there to comfort you.
Picking up his steps, he rushed out of the practice room, ignoring the calls from his members. He didn't care anymore. The only thing filling up his mind was making sure that you're okay now.
Opening the front door and kicking his shoes off, he made a beeline towards your shared bedroom. He frowned when he found you no where in sight.
"Y/N." He called out, scouting for you in every single corner of the room. "I'm here now, baby. Where are you?"
He could feel his worry intensifies when he received no response. He quickly dialed your number, only to hear it vibrate near the couch.
He cursed, feeling more anxious that ever, not knowing where you were. He just prays that you are safe somewhere. Making his way to the door, ready to search for you, no matter how long it will take him.
Meanwhile, you were sitting in the middle of the park. Staring into the abyss as you let your thoughts consume you. You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn't hear the voice of your relieved boyfriend, having had searched you for hours. Going as far to contact all your friends to ask them about your whereabouts. You were obviously startled when he came into your view, holding the side of your face as he looked more happy than ever to see you safe.
"Why the hell are you out this late?" He gently scolded, ushering you out of your seat.
You pulled away, "I just need some air. Don't worry, I'll get out of your way."
"Hey, baby. Don't say that." He said but you weren't listening. You couldn't.
Not when you were feeling just as shitty as you were before you left the house. Being outside did nothing to help you and now that Jaemin is here, you were only scared that you'll annoy him further
"Hey, stop." Jaemin walked in front of you, blocking your path. You attempted to move to the side but he was quick with his steps, gently wrapping his arms around your shoulder.
You winced, pushing him away but he only tightened his embrace. "Let me go, Jaemin."
"Never." He snuggled his face at the crook of your neck. "I was an asshole. I'm sorry."
You shook your head, "No, I'm sorry." Your words made Jaemin confused, "I shouldn't have bothe—"
But before you could finish your sentence, your boyfriend smashed his lips against yours, silencing your words. You yelped at the sudden contact and just as you were about to back away, he held the back of your neck, preventing you from moving. His soft lips melted against yours and you couldn't help but eventually return the kiss back.
It lasted for a moment longer before Jaemin decided that he would pull away, he looked down on you with those eyes. You were slightly intimidated by the way his face was firm, as if he was angry at you.
"No. Don't ever say that, you're never a bother."
"But I—" You were cut off.
"No buts. I was in the wrong, I broke my promise and acted like shit towards you. You have no idea how much I will hate myself for putting you in this place." He finished off.
"No, Jaemin. It's not fair for you to blame yourself. You didn't put me in this place. I did. You were always there for me, don't let this one bad experience change that." You reached over to hold his cold hands.
Jaemin held on, shaking his head gently. "Regardless, I won't ever react that way. Please forgive me."
You smiled warmly,
"Of course I forgive you, idiot."
It was as if the conflict had never even started. After the conversation, you and Jaemin felt more relieved than ever. He was still wary about your anxiety though, but you assured him that it has slowly dissipitated— your emotions felt better than ever and that you just wanted to go home now and have some rest.
However, things took a quick turn when the both of you have finally reached home and were hastily grasping each other's clothing, desperately trying to remove those layers that were preventing you from touching him bare. You didn't know who initiated first, completely forgotten who was the one who smashed their lips against the other but all you knew was that you were desperately in need to be in Jaemin's arms.
In more ways than one.
As the both of you shared soft yet sloppy kisses, he led you towards the bedroom. You were amazed at how he was able to lead you with such ease considering he had his eyes closed while having his hands and lips occupied. You didn't questioned it though and just let the event take place.
He gently laid you under the soft covers of the bed, he broke the kiss and began placing small kisses down your neck. His hands went around your legs, to have them wrapped around his waist.
"You feel that?" He groaned, pulling your thighs closer to his bulge, which caused you to moan uncontrollably.
"A-Ah, yes. It feels so good." You mewled, reaching over to his pants to unbuckle it.
He chuckled softly at your impatient state but he eventually helped you out. The next thing, you both were completely naked with his cock shoved deep inside your tight wall.
"M-More, Jaemin!"
"Oh- yes! You look so pretty, baby!"
He held you even tighter, latching his lips onto yours— swallowing all your moans. You clenched around him, feeling your orgasm nearing. He groaned at the sudden action.
"Do that again." He demanded.
And you did.
He moaned aloud, having his arms rest on both sides of your face as he thrusted harder and you could tell that he was also nearing as it was slowly becoming sloppy. You moved your hips upwards, helping both of you out at completing your orgasm.
"I love you, Jaemin." You moaned as your vision nearly blacked out from the intense feeling.
"I love you too, baby!" He responded as he began bucking forward, shutting his eyes momentarily.
He got up as you were left alone to recollect your breath. By the time, you were able to gain enough energy, you see Jaemin emerged from the bathroom with a towel in his hand. He made his way to your side and began cleaning your inner thighs gently, the cum dripping out.
You could only mumble out small thank you's, feeling yourself worn out. He brushed aside your hair that was in the way and slowly gave you a long, passionate kiss.
"Let's sleep now. It's getting late." He smiled fondly, nestling by your side.
And with that, you felt yourself succumbed to your sleepiness.
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©ruwriteshours
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sincerelyneo · 27 days
Note
hiii can you repost hello angel? as a jaemin girl it was one of my favorite fics everrrr i read it everyday fr😭❤️
hey angel | n.jm
“i come alive when i hear your voice, it’s a beautiful sound”
💿now playing: hey angel by one direction
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❯ summary: You're Jaemin's best friend - so of course he loves to call you up late at night and hear your voice. He's definitely not calling because the sound of your voice turns him on - yeah definitely not that.
❯ pairings: jaemin x fem!reader
❯ genre: friends to lovers, smut, fluff.
❯ words: 3.7k
❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, smut, phone sex, dirty talk, masturbation, slight possessiveness?, begging, praise, heavy use of nicknames, reader uses she/her pronouns, just pure filth tbh, jaemin has a voice kink??
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It was late and you were already in bed, snuggled deep and cozy in the sea of your blankets, when your best friend Jaemin called. He’s your closest friend and the person you were more than a little bit in love with — but you’d never risk telling him for fear of it ruining your friendship.
So even though it was late, and you were sleepy, you answered his call. To be fair, he’d answered plenty of your late-night phone calls over the years.
“Hey angel,” Jaemin greets in an eager tone.
You can hear the alcohol in his voice — that and Jaemin only ever used that nickname for you when he’d been drinking. Still, it never fails to send warmth curling through your heart. It felt like it was his way of wrapping you up in his strong arms whilst he wasn’t with you. 
“Annngelll,” your best friend continues in singsong, making you giggle softly. 
Jaemin’s voice sounds rough and gravelly, like he’d been shouting over a crowded bar all night. Which wasn't a surprise since it was his friend Jeno’s birthday tonight. And you knew your charming and extroverted best friend would never pass up the chance of a good time. 
Before you could respond to his greetings, Jaemin’s tone suddenly turned serious. “I missed you tonight.”
“Na Jaemin,” you try to match his quick change of mood, attempting a serious tone. But it was a losing battle as you tried to fight against the smile threatening to let loose at his statement. “You’re drunk—I bet you barely noticed I wasn’t there tonight.”
He grumbles and you hear fabric rustle like he was flopping back on his bed. You can’t help but imagine what he currently looked like: his body probably sprawled out on top of his comforter, the strands of his hair falling into his face as his head propped up on his pillows. He probably had one hand behind his head, his bicep bulging while his other hand held the phone to his ear.
You know it’s wrong, but your mind wonders if he was still in his clothes from the night or if he’d stripped down—knowing the fact that your best friend liked to sleep in his boxers.
But you were also familiar with intoxicated Jaemin, he likely hadn’t changed out of his clothes yet, too drunk, and tired to care. Still, that didn’t stop you from thinking about your best friend laying in his bed shirtless while he talked to you. 
“I may have had a couple drinks,” he admits grudgingly. “But of course, I missed my angel. I swear—cross my heart and hope to die—I was a good boy tonight,” he says with enough conviction that you couldn’t help but giggle.
“You’re silly, Jaem.” There’s a warmth in your voice, and you have no hope of wiping the smile from your face even if you tried. 
Pulling the phone away from your ear to check the time, you felt bad and ask, “Why are you calling?”
A long, loud sigh came through the phone from your best friend. “I wanted to hear your voice,” he explains after a silent moment.
It was a cute sentiment, making you feel warm all over, and you wished you could talk to him longer. “Jaem,” you start, gentling your voice. “It’s late and you know I have to get up early. So, if that’s all, I’m going to hang up.”
“But I can’t sleep,” he whines, and you could hear the pout in his voice. Without even seeing his face, you knew he was deploying his puppy dog eyes. “Just talk to me for a few minutes, angel, please?”
“Fine,” you say with another sigh, folding instantly at the thought of imagining his gentle expression asking you. He’d learned long ago it was a sure way to make you give in. You’d fallen sucker to Jaemin’s big brown eyes, and he knew exactly how to use them. 
Resigning yourself to being tired at work the next day, you settled deeper into your pillows. Your voice gentle as you got comfortable. “But you can’t hold it against me if I fall asleep,” you warn.
“Deal.” His smugness at getting you to agree so easily was loud and clear through the phone even if you couldn’t see his self-satisfied smile. “How was your day, angel?” he asks as his bed sheets rustled again and you presumed he was settling in too.
Tired, but always happy to talk to your best friend, you told him about your day and complained about why you had to get up early the next morning. Your voice turns softer and sweeter as you get more and more tired. Jaemin’s does the same, getting even deeper and more husky as he told you about his day. Eventually, there was a lull in the conversation, and you were about to tell him good night when he said something that surprised you enough to drag you away from the edge of sleep.
“Have I ever told you how hard your sleepy little voice makes me?” he asks, making a sound like he was biting back a groan. “I love calling you before you fall asleep, but I always gotta rub one out after.”
“Jaemin,” you say, voice going for stern, but not quite hitting the mark since it was still laced with sleepiness. “That is not true.”
“It is!” he insists, sounding more awake by the minute—and you were right there with him. “I’m hard right now.” He makes a soft sound, like a grunt.
Before you could stop yourself, you imagined him— still sprawled out on his bed — but this time he had a bulge in his jeans. In your mind’s eye, Jaemin grips his hard length through his jeans, stroking himself roughly. The thought makes you gasp softly, and you clench your thighs together against a sudden pulse in your core.
Jaemin must’ve heard the sound because you could hear the grin in his voice when he speaks again. “Tell me, angel, are you wearing one of my shirts tonight?” he asks gruffly.
You swallow heavily, trying to buy yourself some time. It felt like crossing a line to admit that you were wearing one of his shirts, but when Jaemim didn’t take the question back, you realise you’d had to answer. 
“Yeah,” you whisper.
“Which one?” His voice is rough now, like sandpaper, but oh so eager.
“One of your varsity shirts from college—the one that says ‘Jaemin’ on the back,” you answer, unable to lie to your best friend even if you were a little shy to admit you still sleep in his shirts. You knew you didn’t need to be, since he clearly knew you slept in them. 
“I love it when you wear my shirts, angel,” Jaemin confesses. His tone now warm, like he was grinning and happy. It makes the last of your shyness disappear to hear him say that. 
“It lets everyone know you’re mine.”
“I’m not yours, Jaemin,” you protest half-heartedly. 
You weren’t, even if you desperately wanted to be his in every sense of the word.
“You’re my best friend,” he says, like there was no argument you could come up with to change his mind. “My best girl—that makes you mine.”
“Jaemin,” you exhale. 
You knew he was just talking about friendship, but you wished his words meant something different. You wished he felt the same way for you as you did for him.
“Fuck, say my name like that again,” he begs in a gruff voice. “Makin’ me so damn hard.”
You feel the blush rise to your cheeks and you go flustered, unsure what to do as Jaemin easily crosses lines you’d avoided delicately for years. But you didn’t want him to stop. The sound of his voice saying those things had wetness pooling between your thighs. So, you gave him what he wanted.
“Jaemin,” you repeat his name, voice breathier with your arousal, and he let out a happy hum.
“That’s my girl,” he says followed by a groan that is so low and husky, sending tingles racing through your entire body. “Fuck, I’m so hard,” he moans, a slight strain in his voice. “Do you mind, angel?”
It took a moment for your hazy mind to figure out what he was asking. Then, another to process that he was asking if you were okay with him stroking himself while he was on the phone with you. Your breath caught from a sudden surge of excitement. The voice that typically stops you from crossing the line with your best friend was conveniently quiet and all that was left was your need for him.
“I-I don’t mind, Jaem,” you answer softly, trying not to sound too eager.
The sound of him pulling down the zipper of his jeans was loud enough that you could hear it through the phone — and that alone sent a shiver down your spine. It was nothing, though, in comparison to the rough groan he makes as he grips his cock in his hand. 
“Fuck,” he curses.
You could feel yourself getting slicker from the sounds of him stroking himself. Distantly, you knew you were crossing a line by listening to him, by getting off on hearing your best friend pleasure himself, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Instead, you found yourself holding your breath as you strained to hear him.
“What else are you wearing besides my shirt, angel?” his voice octaves lower than normal. The sound of it makes you squirm, your thighs clenching together harder. 
Biting your lip, you debated for a second whether to answer truthfully. You didn’t want to lie to your best friend and, you rationalise, you’d already crossed the line, hadn’t you?
“Just panties,” you whisper. 
You trail your hand down your chest over his shirt to toy with the hem where it had ridden up around your hips. Your fingers were dangerously close to slipping under the waistband your best friend had become oh so curious about.
“Just panties? Fucking hell, angel. What colour are they, huh?” He questions in his deep, rough voice.
You swallow thickly, wondering if he could hear how hot and bothered he was making you. You wonder if he knew you were so close to playing with yourself by the way your breath was getting faster. But you couldn’t stop yourself from answering. 
“They’re pink,” you say softly. 
“Angel,” Jaemin groans, thickened with need. “Fuck, I wanna bury my head between your thighs and kiss every single inch of you until you’re writhing under me, begging me to tear those panties off you.”
It was your turn to groan, and when you say, “Jaemin,” on a sharp exhale, you sound even more needy than anything else. Your fingers brushing over the hem of your panties, teasing yourself with whether or not you should dip beneath the fabric and touch yourself.
“You like that idea, angel?” He asks, a grin in his voice. “Like thinking about my mouth so close to your pussy.”
At his words, you couldn’t help but picture the scene. His head navigating between your legs, his strong arms wrapped around your thighs, holding you open so he could follow through on his promise. It was all too easy to imagine the way he’d look at you, mischief sparkling in his brown eyes as he slowly, teasingly kissed your mound over your panties, tongue sneaking out to lick the pink material. The picture he painted had you squirming in your bed. 
You couldn’t take it anymore, your fingers finally sliding into your panties, finding your pussy wet and swollen and needy.
When you don’t respond except with a sharp gasp, Jaemin asks, “Are you touching yourself?” 
His voice turns seductive. “You have to tell me if you are, angel—best friends tell each other this sort of thing. I have to know when you’re fingering your needy little cunt.”
“Oh god, Jaemin,” you cry softly, your breaths coming harsher. But you don’t for a second consider hiding what you were doing from your best friend. “Yes, I’m t-touching myself.”
“Good girl,” he praises, making warm pride curl through your chest as more wetness flooded your core. “Touch that pretty pussy for me.”
“H-how would you know it’s pretty?” you ask on a gasp, forcing the question out between hitching breaths as you slowly trace a finger around your dripping hole, teasing yourself and making you wetter.
“Because everything about you is pretty, angel. The way you laugh at me when I’m drunk, the way you bite your lip when you’re unsure, the way you look at me… fuck, you’re so fucking pretty.”
Your finger pauses and you suck in a deep breath, thoughts running chaotically. Jaemin had never complimented you like this before, and you couldn’t help yourself from asking a question you desperately wanted an answer to. 
“How do I look at you, Jaemin?” you ask in a small voice, teeth sinking into your bottom lip in the expression he’d just mentioned.
“Don’t pretend you don’t know,” he teases. “You look up at me, giving me the dirtiest fuck me eyes possible. Fluttering your pretty eyelashes like you’re begging me to bend you over every surface and stuff you full of my cock.” 
“Jaemin,” you cry out in a little sob, emotions and arousal swirling through your body completely overwhelming you for a moment. 
“I know angel,” Jaemin’s voice is soothing and deep. “I know you give those eyes to me.” 
He paused for a moment and all you could hear was his deep, steady breathing. 
“Because you’re mine, yeah?” There was a thread of uncertainty in his question, and it made your heart thump in response.
“Yeah,” you agree without hesitation, without protest. “I’m yours, Jaemin.” 
“Good,” he declares. Without giving you time to fully process what had just transpired between the two of you, Jaemin continues speaking, his voice diving an octave lower and growing rough. “Now slide one of your fingers into that pretty pussy of yours.” 
It was so easy to listen to him, to give yourself over to his command. Letting his deep voice reverberate in your head, heat curling all through your body down to the tips of your toes, as you press one of your fingers into your wet hole. A soft moan tumbles from your lips and you knew Jaemin heard it from the way he sucks in a breath.
“That’s it, angel, being so good for me,” his breaths coming harsher down the phone line. “Tell me how it feels.”
You sink into the sensations and the sound of his voice, letting your eyes fall closed. You feel like you’re floating in the soft sea of your bed as you pull your finger out and thrust it back inside your pussy. 
“Feels so good,” you answer in another moan.
Jaemin responds with a groan of his own. “Bet you’re fucking tight,” he says, breath heavy and raw. “Bet you’re clenching down on your little finger, aren’t you?”
Like your body was trained to respond to his voice, your pussy clenches around your finger at his words and you let out a hitching moan. But Jaemin doesn’t stop talking. His deep, hoarse voice fills your ears and makes you hotter and hotter.
“Fuck, angel, keep going—keep fingering that wet pussy for me while I stroke my dick to those sweet little sounds you make,” he urges, as he bit back his groans. You moan and gasp in response to his filthy words. “Fuckin’ hell, I wish it was your warm cunt gripping me right now, clenching hard around my thick cock while I fuck you.”
“Please,” you beg, not sure what exactly you were asking for but knowing you didn’t want him to stop talking. You add another finger to your dripping hole, crying out at the slight stretch.
“Would you like that, angel?” he asks, managing to fill his tone with teasing even as his heavy breaths gave away how turned on, he was. “Tell me—fucking tell me,” he prompts when you don’t respond, too busy fucking yourself with your fingers to the sound of his voice.
A whine forces itself out of your lungs, the simple command sounding so filthy from your best friend’s mouth. “Yes, Jaem,” you whimper an answer between your gasping breaths. “Want you to fuck me.”
“Fuck—fuck,” he groans almost painful. “The next time I see you, that pussy is mine. Gonna bury my face between your thighs and make you come on my tongue,” he promises. “Then I’m gonna shove my cock deep in your cunt and fuck you stupid.”
“Jaemin,” you sob out his name, fucking yourself harder as you picture your best friend hovering over you while you lay in his bed. You imagine how his body would start fucking you into the mattress, his cock buried deep in your pussy, your arms and legs wrapped around him — anything to be close to him. 
Through the phone, you hear the soft sound of Jaemin fucking himself into his own fist, the strain in his voice every time he spoke. 
Imagining your best friend sprawled on his bed, jeans open just enough for him to have his cock out, gripping and pumping his length roughly with his eyes squeezed shut. Thinking about him like that makes you whimper.
“Fuck—I can’t stop thinking about how pretty you’d look while I fuck you, angel,” he murmurs. “Wanna see my cock stretch you while I pound into you, wanna see your pretty lips swollen from my kisses as you moan for me, wanna see your eyes go all hazy as you get stupid on my cock.”
As he speaks, your thumb circles your clit and you moan loudly into the phone. Your best friend’s filthy words make your pussy clench down hard on your fingers as you get closer and closer to your release. 
“Don’t stop, Jaem, please don’t stop,” you beg breathlessly. Jaemin lets loose a deep groan in response to your desperate plea, the sound making your thighs clamp down hard around your hand. You wish your legs were wrapped around his waist instead of your wrist.
“Fuck your pussy, angel, nice and hard.”
You cry out as you force a third finger, making yourself stretch to take the intrusion. 
“That’s it, that’s my good girl, fuck yourself stupid to the sound of my voice,” he encourages. 
Even with how far gone you are, you can hear the cocky grin in his tone, but your body just flushes and clenches tight in response. Desperately, you fuck yourself harder, hips rocking into your hand, mind drowning in lust as you gasp and moan into the phone. Knowing he can hear you only urges you not to hold back. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Jaemin groans loudly, his breath coming in sharp pants. “Keep making those cute little sounds for me, my cock is aching for you—fuck!” The cockiness in his tone fades into desperation. 
“Jaemin,” his name tumbles past your lips. 
You’d said your best friend’s name countless times over the years, but never like this—never with your fingers buried deep in your cunt wishing it was his thick cock.
“Jaem, I need…” you trail off, not even knowing what you need, just knowing he was the only one who could give it to you.
“You need my cock, don’t you?” You can hear the way his grin curls at the edges of his mouth. “Need my cock just like I need your pussy.” He bit off the end of his sentence with a groan. “Fuck, you’re gonna make me come,” he moans. “Gonna come so hard to your sweet little moans, angel.”
You gasp and your back arches off your bed when you rub your thumb roughly over your clit. You moan so shamelessly for your best friend. “So close.” 
“When I fuck you,” he starts, cutting himself off abruptly as he groans again. “When I fuck you, angel, I’m gonna make you come so hard on my cock,” he promises, voice rough and deep you swear you can feel the pleasure from the sound shooting from your ear directly to your clit. “And while you’re screaming my name and coming all over my dick, I’m gonna bury myself in that sweet pussy and pump you full of my load—you want my come, angel?”
“Yes, Jaemin, please come inside me, fill me up,” you babble, so close to your own release you barely know what you’re saying. 
“That’s it. That’s my slutty little angel, begging for my come.” He groans, stroking himself faster. “Come for me, come for your best friend,” he commands, pausing to moan lowly. “Tell me who you belong to.” 
“I’m yours, Jaemin, all yours,” you cry out. With one more deep thrust of your fingers, the heel of your hand grinding against your clit, you come apart. 
You moan loudly as waves of pleasure surged through you, consuming you. Your limbs shaking as you wrench every ounce of pleasure from your release, fucking yourself through it as you breathe fast and harsh.
“That’s my good girl. Coming so sweetly for me, so perfect.” He grunts. “Fuck, fuck, fuck! You made me come so fucking hard, angel,” he mumbles, a little breathless.
Since you hadn’t fully regained control over your body, you just hummed in delight. You were still riding the aftershocks of your orgasm, your lips turned in a smile while you listened to Jaemin catching his breath.
“Like hearing me come apart for you?” He teases the question. “Wish you were here to clean up the mess you made.” 
“Jaem,” you try to put some reproach into your voice but fail miserably as you giggle. 
“Don’t worry, you can help the next time I see you.”
The line goes quiet for a moment, the two of you gathering yourselves together. “You’re still my best girl, right?” he finally asks, and you can hear the smile in his voice.
“Yeah,” you whisper, “I’m your girl.”
“That’s good to hear,” he murmurs, sighing contentedly, and you can tell he was starting to drift off. “Because all of me is yours, angel. And I plan on showing you that when I’m back.”
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tddyhyck · 2 months
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perv!jaemin who... [ n.jm ]
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pairings ⇢ perv!jaemin x afab!reader
warnings ⇢ panties, scent kink, edging, cum play, mutual masturbation, cum eating, handcuffs, public sex, marking, tickling, leashes, collars, crying
masterlist
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perv!jaemin who whispers about how he wants to fuck you on the table in the middle of the restaurant during dinner with your friends
perv!jaemin who buys leashes and collars for both you and him to wear
perv!jaemin who has you mark his neck for every orgasm he gives you so his closet becomes full of turtlenecks and scarves
perv!jaemin who holds you down tickling at your sides until you are squirming, crying and out of breath beneath him 
perv!jaemin who talks you into skinny dipping mainly because he wants to fuck you in the pool
perv!jaemin who keeps handcuffs on his side table so he can cuff you before he bends you over his lap landing slaps against your soft cheeks
perv!jaemin who touches himself while you sleep beside him and he just can’t help rutting against your skin until he cums while you dream
perv!jaemin who sits across the couch from you while you touch yourself his eyes flicking between your hand and your face until he’s standing up and walking over to you so he can cum on your face
perv!jaemin who tucks his head in your neck when he’s close breathing in your smell sends him over the edge 
perv!jaemin who facetimes you when he’s hard because he needs to see you he begs you to put on a show for him 
perv!jaemin who edges himself all day toes curling every time he’s gets close until you get home and he’s tugging at your clothes and bending you over the table until he’s filled you up and then he just tugs your pants up, kisses your head and walks away while cum drips from you 
perv!jaemin who likes to cum all over your it doesn’t matter where as long as it’s on you he loves the way it paints your skin 
perv!jaemin who lays his head in your lap and presses his nose to your center taking a deep breath before moaning into you 
perv!jaemin who steals your panties and ends up trying them on and he stares at himself in the mirror watching the way the fabric strains against his cock and he can’t help touching himself and filling your panties with his cum before dipping his fingers to taste himself 
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© tddyhyck
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onyourhyuck · 9 months
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Worth It. | N.JM
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— Prologue: “Is it okay if i stay over tonight? You’re sure? I don’t want to overstep your boundaries.”
— Summary: Where you spend the night at each other’s houses for the first time and despite being told to be comfortable you are being very careful.
— Genre: Fluffy smut. First time staying over type of trope. New established relationship. Jaemin is such a green flag. ugh best boyfriend goals. Rookie couples. Heavy makeouts. Soft soft protected sex. Hand holding while they do it.
— Notes:
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There is always a first time in everything when you get in a brand new relationship with someone. You’re always trying to be super careful to not do the wrong move because you don’t want things to go bad.
It can be very nerve wrecking. There’s the first time holding hands which is always kind of awkward at first because none of you are used to holding hands. Or the first time having your kiss, it’s always so short and difficult to pull away from.
And then there is coming over to your boyfriend’s house for the first time.
You’re between the border of trying not to make it obvious that you’re uncomfortable but also trying to get used to your brand new environment. You see your boyfriend has been with you for only five months. Nearly six months. He’s been over to your house for dinner before but it never once crossed his mind until recently that now he realised; you never been over to his house.
Jaemin really loves spending time with you and he wants you to be comfortable. So when you walk inside the house you take your shoes off and try to be as formal and polite as possible.
That was the first time you came over to his house. You ended up being super formal that day and Jaemin always told you to be comfortable and not feel weird about the new surroundings.
But now that you came over once, you started coming over during the evenings. Your second time over at your boyfriend’s house you’re slightly more comfortable than before.
You’re slowly adjusting. “Hey babe? Is it okay if i move your pillows in a different position?” You call out from his bedroom.
Jaemin from the living room raised an eyebrow wondering why do you even have to ask? You could just do what you wish with the pillows. “You don’t have to ask me! Do what you want.” He calls out as his attention was on whatever was playing on the television screen.
You smile a little. He was always telling you to do what you want since he wants to make his house feeling like it’s your home too now.
But it’s difficult to get used to.
Scrolling through your phone as you adjust the pillows into the position you want you’re noticing the time. It’s getting nearly late and you’re wondering when do you have to leave? Your boyfriend hasn’t really asked you what time yet you will leave. You don’t have a time set either. You’re waiting for Jaemin to kick you out but he wasn’t really planning to have you leave anytime soon.
So the more time goes by it’s very late and you’re contemplating by staying over his house now. Surely it wouldn’t hurt to stay over?
You don’t want to leave your boyfriend since you enjoy being with him and his presence alone was the most important thing to you. But you don’t want to take away his privacy from Jaemin either. So now you’re debating if staying was the right option.
The bed creaks when you stand up walking out of the bedroom as you approach the couch where your boyfriend was seen watching the screen. Jaemin smiles and wraps his arms around your waist when you approach running his sweet fingertips down your back and under your shirt feeling your bare skin. You took notice of this habit; your boyfriend really likes feeling your smooth skin. He loves skin to skin contact. And he dislikes feeling the clothes on you.
You smile a bit. “Hey, it’s getting late.” Jaemin hums in response at your words as he wasn’t saying much but enjoying your presence at the same time.
“Yeah it is nearly 10.00 at night.” Jaemin says softly in his deep natural voice. You wonder if he can even more attractive than this.
You’re getting shy now since you’re trying to find an opportunity to ask your boyfriend for permission. But why was it so darn hard?
You’re getting shy for no reason, you’re also stressing about the fact if you’re being too clingy or if you’re being too pushy. You don’t want to be either of those things and you value that space was very important in a relationship. This relationship you have with Jaemin was something you take very personal in your heart. You want this to work.
So far your relationship was nothing but good. You both grow and help each other grow together and individually as well.
Jaemin was the perfect example for you. He makes you feel valued and appreciated. Unlike in the past you’ve never gotten so many compliments by a man until you’ve met Jaemin. And he really makes sure to let you know everyday that you’re important and that you deserve everything.
The thoughts in your head were overcrowding your actual thinking so now you are staring at your boyfriend and your voice comes out slightly small and timid too.
“Can I stay over tonight?” You whisper as you don’t want Jaemin to feel like he has to keep you around.
Your boyfriend wasn’t expecting you to even ask. He didn’t want you to ask this question either because he thought you would be staying anyways. It was late and there’s no way in the world that he will let you leave his house at ten in the night. It’s not that he doesn’t trust that you can get home, it’s more like Jaemin was more or so worried for your safety. He doesn’t trust the world out there and he’d rather have you sleep with him on the bed than have you sleep alone tonight too. You’re everything to him.
“Baby you don’t even have to ask me. My home is now your home, I told you this before.” Jaemin’s expression was a mixture of surprise and bluntness as if you didn’t even have to ask him this right now. Your hands were slowly kissed on the back as Jaemin pants his puckering eyes down there with his soft mouth.
Your cheeks grew a slight pinkish shade across your skin like it was a waterfall spreading everywhere on the land.
Jaemin has so many ways to make you think he’s so perfect. Beyond perfect actually. The word perfect wasn’t enough to describe him.
You slowly exhale. “Is it okay if i stay over tonight? You’re sure? I don’t want to overstep your boundaries.”
Your worried eyes meet Jaemin’s as he can see that you’re trying to be respectful here. You’re the type of person to be extremely cautious and Jaemin really finds this to be thoughtful of you. But at the same time you don’t need to be.
“I don’t have any boundaries when it comes to you. Do what you want okay? If you’re hungry you can take what you want from my fridge. You can even take my clothes, I am fine with whatever you want.”
He was telling you this as if this was all so easy. You’re almost unable to process that you can get away with anything right now but you don’t know what to do with that privilege.
You almost feel like you don’t deserve it. You whisper a little as you’re unable to think much more. Your boyfriend’s loving eyes watching you makes all sorts of emotions run to your face.
“Jaemin I’m just being cautious. I don’t want to make you think that I’m too clingy or pushy.” You say as you’re holding your running thoughts on pause.
He can’t believe you’re here thinking that he would ever see you as being ‘too clingy’. If anything Jaemin wants you to be clingy to him without a second question!
“Okay I think I need you to rethink your words right now.” Jaemin said with a chuckle.
What he said sounded like a warning. You blink your eyes in innocent confusion. “What—?”
He brushed his lips away from your hands and slowly stands up suddenly he was lifting you and you let out a soft sudden sigh as you’re wondering what was happening right now. Your own boyfriend carried you to the bedroom, placing your dead weight on the bed as he crawled on top giving you soft kisses on your cheeks and forehead. Out of nowhere you’re having all these physical kiss-attacks and you’re here unable to take much more.
Jaemin saw your hands fiddling around in places as you’re growing more and more ticklish with the way his lips were planting between your skin and skin. Your own body was struggling to contain what your boyfriend was making you feel. He pins your hands on the side of the bed against the two pillows surface, you’re here breathing heavily as you’re also giggling a little.
When he heard that giggle of yours Jaemin wanted to ascend and have you repeat that giggle again and again and again — until he is sick of it.
You’re unable to contain the way your stomach was doing flips on its own. The way the emotions turning inside your guts. Your abdomen clenching with each loving touch your boyfriend holds on you and gives it without needing anything else from you. All your boyfriend wants from you is you to smile. Feelings inside your stomach boils like a pot on a burning stove, and your legs were digging into the duvet covers while the room was holding all your protesting soft noises and laughs together.
“Ahh Jaemin this isn’t fair. So unfair. You can’t use your strength and kisses against me.” You’re trailing with mumbles.
He smirks against your neck where he nuzzles his nose into your nape smelling your scent, inhaling it as you always smell so good. You smell like peace. You bring him peace.
Jaemin whispers teasingly. “Oh but you don’t seem to be complaining when I give you them.”
“We were having a serious conversation about me staying over!”
You say with your cheeks growing red. Jaemin knew his teasing always tends to get under your skin. The boy above you pulls away his head from your nape to gaze into your eyes.
“And I said it’s completely acceptable.” He softly pressed a loving kiss on your forehead and then hovers over your untouched lips.
“It’s worth it.” He adds, before he pressed a loving and deep long kiss on your lips that look so kissable from the above view.
When he told you this you’re wondering if your boyfriend means it and then you feel the rushing emotions in the kiss, and you just know now that he was being sincere and genuine.
Your boyfriend didn’t care about anything else but wanting you to stay over. You’re now understanding his point. You don’t have to be so uptight and worry if you’re doing something wrong. Because Jaemin knows you have the truest intentions of kindness for him and that’s all he needs from you.
The kiss overtakes you both in a magical world where you sense everything behind measures of your love. Jaemin didn’t hold back. He lets you know just how much he wants to kiss you. Just how much he could kiss you forever if he could. Jaemin pressed the tongue into the surface of your romantic kiss while his hands cupping your face slide down your jawline reaching over your neck where the shirt you wore starts to be tugged in. It falls off your beautiful figure when you say up letting your boyfriend do what he wants now. Your eyes are pressed closed while your entire mind was on the continual pleasure from the kiss that keeps going on.
Words of affirmation he told you beforehand were on a replay like a radio station in your head. It somehow puts you on ease too. You love that Jaemin’s affirmations were made to calm you down as well as show you that your overthinking doesn’t need to be used when he’s nearby.
You can rely on him. You can do anything with him and Jaemin would be more than happy to do it for you. As long as you’re happy and comfortable, he gets to spend his time with you.
The hands slide down to your hips after your lower sweats were pulled down and Jaemin’s mouth breaks apart temporarily only to brush over your beautiful breasts that came out of your bra. His tongue runs down your nipples giving it a gentle suck before detaching from your tits to go up and kiss you once again in a hungry makeout.
You feel all sorts of sensations run down when your legs spread open when his hands run down your inner thighs and Jaemin’s middle fingertip pressed against the pantie lining above your clit.
Soft moan comes out of your mouth as your head leans back and your eyes fell down watching his hand where it’s at. “Should I stretch you out?”
Jaemin asked you quietly as your eyes look up at him. “Yeah please.” You give him a little nod and he leans in kissing your cheek. “Okay baby.”
Whenever he calls you all these sweet loving pet names it makes you feel really small in the best way possible. You feel like a small lost puppy around Jaemin.
He had the ability to make you feel loved, too loved. Your hips buckle forward once Jaemin slips off your panties to your ankles and throws them somewhere on the floor in his bedroom, without a single care. The only thing his focus was really on was the sight of your heavenly pussy, ready to be devoured in everything he has for you.
Brushing the palm on top he thrusts in his middle fingertip first, your head hung back a little as you’re adjusting to the stretching of your velvet compressing walls.
“Fuck…” You murmur into your palm while your boyfriend was trying to be as careful but enough to give you some pleasure too.
The second finger came in when he heard you moan. It shown that you must’ve lined the way his short nails brushed along your bouncy walls inside. Jaemin loves hearing your breathy voice too. Especially when you’re on the brick of cumming right there and then.
He might be soft with you outside the bedroom, and he was also a little soft with you in the bedroom activities too. But he can be slightly more gruff about it too.
Jaemin can really be dominating in the bedroom. It’s like he shines differently when he is fucking your soul out of you. But you don’t mind it when he can be a little more rough with you, because his sweet voice always said the most soft loving things to you. Despite the way he can really have you begging.
Thrusting a few more times, Jaemin pulls the fingers out licking them clean with his mouth before leaning over and sitting upwards to go open one of the drawers next to the bed.
You whimper at the loss of your boyfriend’s fingers but your eyes gracefully follow his silhouette seeing what he was pulling out.
He smirks when he saw your eyes fixated on the packet of condoms. Jaemin rips one open as he slips off his boxers.
“You want to put it on for me?” He asked you as you looked eager when you saw his manhood spring up against is stomach hitting the surface on it.
Your boyfriend was quite big. You won’t lie but you can’t deny the fact that Jaemin was built perfectly. He was long but not too long. He was perfectly thick in the right areas and you drool over the sight of your boyfriend’s manshood. Your hand brushed the condom down and Jaemin bites his bottom lip watching your small hands dressing the condom on his hard boner.
“That’s it, good girl.”
Your face grew a million shades redder hearing your boyfriend’s deep nasal voice echoing the praise to your ears giving you a kiss on your cheek, lowering himself down he pushed your legs up a little until they sit on top of his shoulders. Folding you into a position to his liking he wanted to get the right deepness and the richness of your body to the fullest because tonight — your boyfriend is going to prove to you why it is worth it staying over.
The gnashing movements created between your two bodies connecting as one made your body move forward as the length piercingly increases in and out of your entrance. Just the mere thickness alone has you thinking you’re going to rip apart with the overwhelming burning sensation. You however love the fact that you can feel the stinging pleasure because eventually the same sting turns into something else.
Your mouth shatters apart from your moans. The carnal length barely inside you for more than a few minutes has your mind starting to wander on its own. Foggiest invades your brain. Your cheeks are burning hot like they are scorched by the sun itself. The sight of your boyfriend’s darkly lit eyes staring you down like you’re a prey he had his eyes on for so long excites you.
“Oh fuck… Jaemin…”
Hearing his name leaving your lips like a flying letter, it was almost empowering. You give him so much power over you.
Jaemin smirks leaning down giving your collarbones a few sucks stringing from his teeth and balm lips. “You like this?” He asked you.
But he didn’t expect you to answer considering you’re unable to. The moans keep coming out of you instead.
He knows you liked it too, it is written on your beautiful face like a giant billboard you’d see on middle of the road.
The sensation can not compare to anything the two of you ever experienced and that’s what makes this so much more special and enjoyable.
It is the raw sight of your own love growing to its deepest lusts and hormones. Your body has never met such a perfect combination with anyone before and Jaemin was just so perfect.
He was perfect at giving and not expecting anything back. His pleasure came from seeing you mooch over his cock that is thrusting into you so deeply until you cannot take it anymore.
The fact that you’re looking even more and more beautiful the further more your squeezing carries him through the sensual movements, Jaemin was taking his sweet time with you. He loves seeing your feverish smile and your eyes closing every time the inch of his front tip was peeking into a zone of your weak spot that makes you squirm with more intensity.
You’re brushing your stomach inwards the moment Jaemin dig deeper going down even more while your hands roam around his shoulder blades and your mouth opens up. “Ahh squeezing me so much Y/n…” Jaemin‘a hushed groans were telling you how much he was enjoying the way you feel.
Your warmth emitting from your body on the outside and on the inside, as well as how wet you’re feeling down there makes his cock stand out even more. Jaemin was aroused by the simplest things however which was the way your eyes never broke eye contact.
He smiles leaning down kissing you softly again but this time your hands connect. He moves up his fingers attaching them around yours while on the sides they’re pinning.
He sighs deeply as he strikes himself slowly going in an upwards motion, he clenched his eyes shut. “God… I won’t last if you keep doing this to me.”
You drawl out your mouth running it down his neck while pressing kisses down his adam’s apple which makes Jaemin shiver.
The things you do to him makes him go crazy even more. You’re driving him off the edge.
“Hhhghr… I’m so close.” He quietly turned to you when your head pressed down on the pillows and you suck on your stomach with each of your boyfriends incoming sensual thrusts.
They feel slow yet powerful. Jaemin’s head hung low with his messy black hair while you’re here breathing more heavily as your breath quickens. The mattress becomes wrinkled as the bedsheets were following each of your silhouettes.
The darkness of the room becomes inevitable but the sight of your boyfriend’s expression when he finally feels the surging urge to come never leaves your memory.
Jaemin hissed. “Fuck—” Moving the hips upwards. “I’m cumming—” he slowly whispers moving down on you again. “Ah fuck m’cumming Y/n…”
You’re leaning back your sluggish body when the warm filling of your boyfriend releasing inside the plastic rubber. You’re feeling his hands clench on your fingers tight as his gaze grows black mixing in with stare.
He feels like he was seeing stars and his ears were shutting out every sound, all he could hear was small rings.
Jaemin deeply exhales as he leans down to get the opportunity to kiss your tempting lips once more. Your lips kiss back in slow motion while you feel his hand relax in the hold.
You whisper your sighs against his lips, while your boyfriend pulls away to look at your face brushing your hand on your hair.
“It was worth it.” Jaemin says with a smile. “Right?” He’d ask you knowing the real answer already.
“Mhm it was Worth It.” You tell him.
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@onyourhyuck please refer from translating copyrighting and plagiarising my work thank youu! Reblog this fic and follow me for more updates it helps a girl out.
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Text
Orange - L.JN & N.JM
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pairing: na jaemin x reader x lee jeno
au/genre: smut, fluff, humor, angst to some degree, established relationship!AU, boyfriend!Jaemin, boyfriend's best friend!Jeno, best friend!Haechan, bottom!jeno (?)
word count: 10.323 words
warnings: mxm content, threesome, kink discovery, sex toys (butt blugs, mentions of a vibrator), bunny costumes in a sexual context, dirty talk, anal fingering, anal sex (m and f receiving), muscle kink, mentions of period sex, oral (f receiving, kinda m receiving), pet names, dry humping, cumming in pants, unprotected sex (just don't)
synopsis: your happy relationship with jaemin lacks nothing but a little spice in the sheets, in your opinion. hence, you want to tickle a kink out of your boyfriend. who would've guessed that his best friend plays a huge role in said journey, and could change your relationship forever?
taglist: @yujaemna @meowniee @sfsrm-blog @legbouk @bbyjayb
Dating Jaemin is relatively easy. You get along naturally, have fun laughing until your tummies hurt, help each other in difficult situations, and grow together as people. You genuinely love him, there's no denying that, and loves you back just as much.
There are just two tiny problems.
Number 1: your sex life
It's not that it's particularly boring, it's just that you're excited to experiment with sex in every way possible, but Jaemin seems to be more of a traditional kind of guy when it comes to couple activities in the sheets. So whenever you've brought up the idea of trying something new, he's never been thrilled, and since you don't want to pressure him, you let it go. Don't get it wrong, missionary is fun and all that, and most of the time you cum at least once during the whole experience, but your heart yearns for something a little more thrilling from time to time.
And number 2: his best friend
You don't understand the relationship between two certified best bros, but you're smart enough not to question it. Jaemin and his bestie Jeno are the closest thing two people can get before being officially together, you notice, as you find them cuddling on the couch every so often. They also go on dates, but you're not allowed to call it that since they're just "bro quality times", but having a candle light dinner with your best friend is... pretty date-y to you, especially when Jaemin brings home a single red rose every other week.
All of this would surely bother you a little more if it weren't for your teeny tiny crush on Jaemin's best friend. If Jaemin acted like that with anyone else, you'd be fuming, but with Jeno, you kind of (completely) understand. The man is cute and friendly at all times, and he would have swooned you with his handsome face and ripped body alone, but his lovable personality makes it even worse. Okay, maybe it's more than a tiny crush, maybe it's a fully developed crush, but no one has to know that. It's not like you'd ever act on it or anything.
So, yeah, you can't really do anything about problem number two, but your knight in shining armor (read: your best friend) is there to help you settle your first problem.
"You could just talk to him again, you know?" Donghyuck throws in, then busies his mouth with chewing on his popcorn again. Since he's started working his part-time job at the local cinema, he always has a box of the sweet, sticky treat with him. You wonder if he'll ever get sick of it.
"I can't. I don't wanna pressure him," you retort in a quiet voice of concentration, finishing up your nails with a last drag of the brush over the nail of your thumb, lifting both of your hands in the air afterwards to admire your work of painting them in the nuance "withy witty summer fun" (orange).
"Then you should try something again."
"Do you remember last time when I hid a vibrator under the blankets for him to find during sexy time?" – you stop admiring your nails to stare at Donghyuck intensely – "I still have a fucking bump on my forehead from when he screamed and threw it at me."
"You just caught him off guard," Donghyuck reasons, throwing a piece of popcorn in the air to catch it with his mouth, but he misses, and the popcorn hits the corner of his mouth and then the ground only to roll underneath your couch. You watch morosely.
"I have a few more ideas," Donghyuck leans forward to whisper into your ear. Attentively, you listen, and carefully as to not ruin your nails grab a piece of his popcorn, munching away with brows furrowed in concentration and narrowed eyes...
Fixing your hair one last time in the rounded mirror of your bedroom, you nod at yourself, confirming that your look is perfect and irresistible. Of course you could've stuck to something as simple as pretty lingerie, but where's the fun in that? You want to tickle a kink out of Jaemin, so this is much better.
Draping yourself on the bed, you grab your phone to text your boyfriend who you know is currently playing online games and talking to his friends over Discord in the living room.
You [20:38]
Come to the bedroom, I have a surprise for you! ;-)
Jaemin [20:38]
Is it my package? Can't believe they're delivering this late...
You [20:38]
???????
It's not
Jaemin [20:39]
Can it wait? I'm winning! :D
You [20:39]
HUrry up!?!?
You throw your phone away, annoyed. But the next second, you hear footsteps approaching the bedroom door. Excitedly, you get into position, sitting on your knees in the middle of the mattress ready to bat your lashes at the person entering the room.
The door creeks slightly, revealing Jaemin's grin which soon drops into an expression of confusion. "Wha-"
"Hello there," you wink, pushing your arms together in front of your body to press your tits together.
"What the fuck are you wearing?"
"I'm your bunny, master," you say seductively, and Jaemin can't hide the amused grin creeping back on his face as he takes in your pink bunny ears that rest atop of your head, paired with your fluffy underwear set.
"Are you planning Halloween costumes already?" Jaemin snickers, stepping closer until he reaches the bed and sits down, the mattress dipping under his weight.
"I'm not. This is all for you, baby," you say and lean into his hand that reaches out to stroke over your cheek.
"It's cute," Jaemin admits, and you lean in to kiss him. His lips move softly against your own, slowly but surely building a rhythm that contains nothing but love and lust. Jaemin's hands rest on your waist, gently stroking your exposed skin with his thumbs. He gently pushes you to lay down, then presses a last kiss to your lips before sitting up, tugging on your costume.
"Don't- you want it to stay on?" You ask, surprised. You were sure it's working this time.
"Um... not really," Jaemin admits, tongue wetting his lower lip.
"Why?" You whine, frustration taking over you. As a result, you sit back up, turning around to show him the rest of your outfit, "I even wore a matching tail!"
As soon as Jaemin snorts, you know that you've lost him. Again.
"Hey-" you enter the living room. "...guys?"
On the couch sit your boyfriend and his best friend, and you're a little surprised since no one's told you he'd be over today. The thing that's a little more odd, though, is the way Jaemin's legs are draped over Jeno's lap, the older holding onto Jaemin's calves who plays with the hair of Jeno's neck.
"Oh, hey," Jaemin grins, then motions his head towards the TV, "we're watching 'Just Friends', you wanna join?"
You eye their compromising position a little longer as you try to push the weird feeling to the back of your mind, then sit beside – or rather behind – Jaemin. During the movie, you kind of feel like you're third wheeling, but that's honestly nothing new.
"Jaemin," you whisper, nudging his back. Jaemin hums, turning his head towards you, and you're sure that he must have dislocated his neck doing so. The motion doesn't go unnoticed by Jeno, of course, how could it with how they're attached at the hips. "I wanna... cuddle too..."
"Oh, of course, sorry!" Jaemin removes his legs from Jeno's lap and turns to the front, throwing an arm around your shoulders to pull you close. You sigh contently with closed eyes, but as you open them, you find your face to be really, really close to Jeno's since Jaemin's done the same to him.
You gulp, then give him and awkward, tight-lipped smile that he mirrors, then turn your attention back to the movie, trying to calm down your pulse and thoughts at how close Jeno is right now.
"Ah, my favorite people," Jaemin sighs, and you can hear the grin in his voice before he presses a kiss to your head that is quickly followed by another kissing noise, presumably to Jeno's head.
Yeah, admittedly, it's a bit weird.
"Okay, so apparently he isn't into bunny costumes! Who can blame him?" Donghyuck says after you've told him about the disaster a few days ago, his eyebrows risen as he lifts his hands in defeat.
"Me! I can blame him! I looked hot as shit and he laughed at me," you whine, hiding your face in your hands at the embarrassing memory.
"But there has to be something," Donghyuck retorts, chewing on the skin of his thumb as he loses himself in his thoughts. You, too, are trying to come up with a solution for your problem.
"Have you tried dirty talk?" Donghyuck finally pipes up after what seemed like half an hour of silence. You raise your head, tiredness obvious in your eyes as you blink at him, your forehead showing a red spot from where you'd rested your head in your hand.
"Yes, I called him master, remember?" You cringe at the thought, throwing yourself backwards to lay on your couch, though you miss, and tumble onto the soft carpet instead. A loud whine and a quiet 'ouch' leave your lips.
"Yeah, I know, but that was a bit extreme..." he points out, and you lift your head up to glare at him. "What I'm trying to say is, do it again, more subtly."
"Fuck, Jaemin," you moan as Jaemin pushes deep into you. He feels heavenly as he drags his tip along your walls, stimulating you in just the right places. Jaemin hums in response, placing his head in the crook of your neck to leave gentle kisses on your skin.
Your moans grow louder as you exaggerate them, throwing in curse word after curse word that do not seem to affect Jaemin in the slightest, his pace and sounds remaining at their original level. Frustrated, you press your lips together before putting out the most sinful words you can imagine.
"Love how your cock feels in me. You're so fucking big, stretching me out so well. Only you can fuck me like that, please, keep going, it feels so good, love your cock so much," you whimper right next to his ear, and you can feel his rhythm falter with each of your words.
You smile in victory, moving your hips to meet his thrusts. "I'm yours to use, Jaemin, I'm your little slut, please fuck me full of your cum, make me drip for days-"
Jaemin grunts, and before you can even breathe in to mutter your next string of dirty words, he-
"- put his hand on my mouth!" You whine, then grab for your pillow to scream inside of it, tears of frustration pooling in your eyes.
"That is-", Donghyuck halts to stifle a snicker, "- unfortunate."
"I couldn't even look him in the eyes for the past two days, Hyuck, I can't do this anymore," you sigh, putting the pillow down onto your lap. Maybe this is all useless. Jaemin just doesn't seem to have any interest in spicing up your sex life. Maybe you should just accept that.
"Last night I was reminded of something while watching porn," Donghyuck speaks up out of a sudden, making you snap your head at him in surprise, a frown plastered on your features as if saying "do I really wanna know?"
"There is one thing that nearly ever dude is into," Donghyuck continues and your ears pipe up at the promising statement.
Donghyuck shuffles closer to you, taking both of your hands in his, and stares deep into your eyes. You have to admit, he's great at creating a dramatic atmosphere and keeping you at the edge of your seat. He inhales, then exhales, looks down, then back up into your eyes.
"Anal."
"Hey- oh. Hey, Jeno," you say as you enter the living room, said man waving at you shyly, and you can't help but feel a little tingling in your tummy. You walk into the kitchen, place the grocery bags on the counter, and slowly begin unpacking.
"Hey babe."
You turn around to Jaemin sticking his head through the doorway, grinning at you before sending you a flying kiss. You return the action, a broad smile taking over as you watch your beautiful boyfriend's handsome face.
"Jaemin, your turn," it sounds from the living room, and Jaemin quickly excuses himself.
You chuckle, shaking your head as you go back to the task at hand, when suddenly you get interrupted again, but this time by someone clearing their throat. Once again, you turn around, and your heart skips a beat at the sight of Jeno.
"Jaemin send me here to help you since he-"
"I know, I know," you giggle, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear before noticing the action, frowning for a brief second, and letting it fall back into your face, "it's his turn."
Jeno smiles awkwardly, then moves to stand beside you. You can't say that the undeniable proximity makes you feel a little hot, and weak in the knees.
"Um, you could put this up there, if you want," you suggest and point to two packages of flour and the shelf to your right. Jeno nods and attends the task immediately, each of his large hands grabbing one package that he easily places on the shelf, biceps completely on display for you to ogle.
"And maybe put the cereals up there?" You point towards your left, the highest shelf in your kitchen that you can barely reach, and Jeno simply smiles and nods again, taking ahold of the red carton.
Your breath hitches in your throat as you watch him place it on the shelf, his shirt riding up to give you a great view of his toned abs, and you're sure that either time has started to go by way slower than usual, or he's taking his sweet time completing the task.
Once he does, however, you're a bit embarrassed, a slight blush on your cheeks as you hurry him back into the living room for 'his turn' that Jaemin just announced. When you're back in the kitchen, alone this time, you have to take a few breaths to clear your thoughts and calm down your heartbeat.
Stretched and cleaned in all the right places, you jump onto the bed after your admittedly long shower. Your hair is still a little wet, but you couldn't wait any longer, too excited at the thought of finally proposing the idea of trying anal to your boyfriend. Jaemin is already seated on the bed, phone in hand as he scrolls mindlessly through one of his apps. As soon as your knees hit the mattress, he looks up at you, a loving grin on his face.
Jaemin reaches out to push a strand of your wet hair behind your ear. He tilts his head to the side, taking you in.
"I'm on my period," you announce happily.
"Yey, no baby!"
"That's not what I was hinting at, but sure: yey, no baby!" You imitate Jaemin's words and shake your fists in the air to display happiness. Jaemin laughs at your response.
"Actually," you start speaking, then push the blanket off of Jaemin to climb into his lap, "I want something."
You start by kissing his cheek, then move further down his jaw and down his neck, taking in the pretty sounds he lets out at your actions. Your hands find their way under his shirt, stroking over his abs, then up to his chest. Jaemin hums, and starts touching you as well, moving his hands over your body lovingly.
Once again you realize that you feel extremely safe in his arms.
Soon, your hands wander further down to the hem of his pants, playing around with it a little until you motion for him to take them off.
"But-"
"I know you don't like period sex," you interrupt him, lifting your head from his neck to look at him. His pupils are a little dilated, and he looks partly confused and partly aroused, and you can feel his growing bulge against your clothed core.
"I had something else in mind," you whisper, then kiss him, gently grabbing ahold of his hands to place them on your ass. Jaemin takes the hint and begins to massage the flesh with his hands.
"What is it?" Jaemin whispers back against your lips.
"I want you to-", you halt, suddenly a little more nervous than before at the fear of him rejecting you again, but there's no use in turning back now. A shaky breath leaves your lips before you speak again, "I want you to f-fuck my ass."
As soon as it's out there, your eyes close on their own, afraid of Jaemin's reaction. After a moment, you open them again, curiosity outweighing the fear. Jaemin just looks at you. He doesn't look opposed, and he certainly doesn't look amused like the last times.
"Please just once, we never have to do it again if you don't like it. And I already cleaned and stretched and-"
"Okay."
Your eyes widen comically, mouth agape. "Really?"
"Yeah," Jaemin smiles, then goes back to kissing you. Butterflies erupt in your tummy, tickling you as your heart beats happily in your chest. You immediately feel thrice as aroused, partly because he lifted the fear of your shoulders, and mainly because it's happening, it's happening!!!!
You moan into the kiss, pulling Jaemin closer to you as you grind down on his cock. You make out for a little while until Jaemin's the one to push you off of him gently, laying you down on your stomach. Excitement rushes over you at the new position and his (admittedly very soft) manhandling. You arch your back, pushing your ass into Jaemin's direction who just grabs at your cheeks once again.
He strokes upwards over your back, then back down to your thighs, and you bite your lip in anticipation. Jaemin then removes your panties under your wide shirt, pulling them off your legs and placing them next to the bed on the floor.
The fact that you're not even able to see what he's doing makes you feel even hotter. Jaemin presses a kiss to each of your ass cheeks, stroking over the soft flesh over and over again as if he's finally able to really appreciate your butt (in a way, he is).
Hearing the drawer of your bedside table open, you wiggle your ass in anticipation, to excited to keep still at what's to come. You can hear him open the bottle of lube and push some of the liquid out onto his hand, you believe.
"I should finger you first, right?"
"Please," you whimper, feeling like you could cum the second his finger touches your hole. Jaemin chuckles behind you at your eagerness.
When he finally starts circling your hole, you feel your eyes crossing, then closing on their own, a drawn out moan leaving your lips as soon as he pushes the digit inside. You've stretched yourself enough earlier that it doesn't take long until Jaemin seems satisfied with the way you're taking three of his fingers.
"Okay, are you ready?"
"Yeah," you sigh, and as Jaemin presses his tip into your hole, you have to grab onto the sheets for support because fuck is he big and fuck is this hot. A broken moan tumbles out of your throat as Jaemin sinks deeper into you. He's doing it very slowly as not to hurt you, and that turns you on beyond belief, and you hear him grunt, seemingly trying to hold himself back from just thrusting deeply inside of you in one swift motion, for your sake.
"Shit," he curses once he's completely inside, and you feel light headed at not only the stretch, but the fact that Jaemin just cursed. Jaemin never curses during sex, and you feel so giddy inside that you can't even focus on the slightly uncomfortable, or rather unfamiliar feeling of something that big inside your ass.
Carefully, Jaemin pulls his hips back, stroking your inner walls gently, his tip catching on your rim before he pushes back in. You feel the stretch all over again, but this time you've grown accustomed to it already, sighing contently at the feeling. Jaemin takes this as a sign that you're comfortable and slowly picks up his pace. You moan at the feeling, pushing your hips further back.
As you turn your head to the side to be able to look at him, kind of, you almost cum right on the spot. Jaemin's watching the way his cock repeatedly disappears inside of your hole, then throws his head back, eyebrows scrunched together as his eyes close, a groan erupting form his throat. It's so sexy to see Jaemin finally letting go like this, viewing sex as something that is not only intimate and feels good, but can also be exciting, thrilling even, and new.
Suddenly, Jaemin leans forward, completely burying you under his weight, his cock being shoved into you completely, and he reaches between your body and the mattress to be able to stroke your clit.
"Shit, Jaemin," you whine, not sure whether to push your hips further against his own, or forwards against his fingers. You decide on a mixture of both, pressing back against Jaemin's hips as he presses his into yours, and further against his moving fingers every time he pulls back.
The feeling is nothing less than amazing, and it doesn't take long for you to come undone, shaking in Jaemin's hold as he presses himself against your ass to empty himself deep inside.
The incident of the other night should have put a stop to your obsession of finding something that really gets Jaemin going, but due to the fact of him not bringing the topic of butt stuff up ever again since then, you can't wait to test out a little more. Though you're officially out of ideas now, not even Donghyuck can come up with anything you haven't tried.
An idea strikes you right in the head as you come home from work one afternoon, finding your house to be very Jaemin-less, as you realize once you've announced your arrival and not getting a happy greeting back.
What you do find, and the sight made you jump so hard you almost lost balance, is Jeno sitting alone in your poorly lit living room on his phone.
"Jaemin got a call from work a few minutes ago, said he would be back in half an hour," Jeno informs you after profusely apologizing for scaring you.
"I see," you nod, sitting down on the couch a bit away from him.
"He," Jeno clears his throat, "told me to cook you something, but I'm really, really bad at cooking so I didn't think it would be a good idea to-"
"Oh, no, don't worry about it, I already ate," you respond, nodding your head once to emphasize your point. Jeno hums, then an awkward silence arises.
You just sit there, staring holes into the ground, and he does too, which you notice since you avert your gaze every now and then to check him out. It's honestly his fault for wearing the tightest shirt you've ever seen in your life. Without being able to stop the question from popping up in your mind, you ask yourself what Jeno would be like in bed.
Then, it hits you. Jaemin and Jeno are friends, or actually, they're probably more than that, but that means that Jaemin must have mentioned what he's into somewhere in their countless years of knowing each other, right?
"Can I ask you something?" You disturb the silence, and Jeno raises his head to look at you with wide eyes.
"Of course."
"Well..." You realize that you should have practiced this conversation a little more before just putting it out there. You decide to just go for broke. "How much do you know about our sex life?"
Jeno's eyes widen to an alarming extend, and he begins opening and closing his mouth like a fish before settling on: "Nothing!"
"Ah, really?" You nod, a little disappointed. "Has Jaemin ever mentioned something that he...'d be into?"
"We don't, um, normally talk about stuff like that."
"I see, I'm sorry, then," you nod, pressing your lips together.
"Nothing to be sorry about," Jeno says and reaches out to put a hand on your thigh. The action might seem comforting, but to you it's everything but, and Jeno must've noticed your hitched breathing as he retorts the hand as quickly as possible.
"Sorry!"
"No, no, don't be." You assure him. "It's just that... I mean you probably noticed?" You try, face scrunched up weirdly in a mixture of embarrassment and trying to look apologetic. Jeno just looks at you questioningly. "The way I behave around you must not have given it away, huh... am I that good of an actor?"
Both of you laugh awkwardly and at this point you just wish for Jaemin to hurry with whatever he's doing to put you out of your misery.
"Well, I am kind of attracted to you. But! It's really nothing serious! Nothing to worry about! Oh shit, what if this makes things weird between you and Jaemin... I should've just kept my mouth shut."
"Don't worry," Jeno pipes up, making you look at him only to realize that he sits a bit closer to you now, "I actually... I feel the same."
"Oh?"
"I mean, we barely know each other, but-"
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
It's silent for a while, and you take great interest in your fingernails.
"Can I confess something else?"
You lift your head to look at Jeno, nodding immediately as he looks about as confident as a dear in headlights. The awkwardness of the whole situation had caused you to completely miss the way your heart reacts whenever Jeno speaks.
"I kind of feel the same about Jaemin..."
"Oh," you say, eyebrows rising in surprise, "I mean, is that why you're-"
"Yeah."
"-so close. Mmh, I see," you nod to yourself. So Jeno does like Jaemin like that. Like that. Knowing this information should probably disturb you a little more, shouldn't it? But why doesn't it?
"I hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable," Jeno adds, hands fiddling with each other in his lap as he eyes you from the side.
"No, don't worry, don't worry at all," you mumble, gears turning in your brain and the new found information. And just as Jaemin opens the front door to scream "hello", you get an idea.
"That... might honestly be the best thing you've ever come up with," Donghyuck beams, then presses his face into his box of popcorn to grab a piece with his lips since his hands are occupied by you doing his nails this time.
"I know, right? I mean, it's not really a plan yet, Jaemin has to agree, first of all, and-"
"It's going to be amazing. Oh my God, I'm so excited for you," Donghyuck jumps in his seat which causes his hands to move, to what you react by scoldingly slapping the back of his hand.
"Hold still!"
"You're living the dream," Donghyuck sighs, dreamingly staring off into the distance.
"Like I said, I don't even know what Jaemin-"
"What do you think he's like in bed? Jeno, I mean."
"Actually, I have no idea. He's pretty unreadable to me, to be honest," you admit, thinking back of all the times you've ogled his body, then quickly shake your head to push the images away before you get distracted.
"Do you want to know my professional opinion?" Donghyuck asks, mouth already full of popcorn again. Of course you do. For some reason, Donghyuck has a great way of telling what people are into, that's why it's been so easy for you to tell him what you'd want to do with Jaemin. He can't read Jaemin though, unfortunately.
"Okay, I've only seen him, like, thrice, from afar, but," Donghyuck pops the last word from his lips like a popsicle, "I think he's either the toppiest top or the subbiest bottom."
"You think..."
"I mean, he's ripped, but shy as hell. Maybe he's a service top, but I actually think he's a bottom. He just gives these 'please grab my jaw, spit in my mouth, and tell me what to do'-vibes, you know?"
Nodding as you stare into the distance, you imagine Jeno in exactly that scenario, "I see it." You imagine it, clearly, Jeno underneath you, looking up at you with his cute puppy eyes, waiting for you to tell him what to do, how to please you, all while Jaemin sits behind you, pushing your hair away from your neck to kiss it before whispering 'look at our pretty boy, what should we do with him today?'...
"Anyway," Donghyuck announces to get you to snap out of your trance, "how are you going to propose the idea to Jaemin?"
"Veeeeeery slowly," Jaemin says, standing behind you as he assist you in how to properly add the egg white into the batter for Jeno's birthday cake. "Good job."
Jaemin kisses your cheek and you feel a strange tingle inside your pants at his praising, and you immediately wonder if Jeno reacts the same when he gets complimented by your boyfriend. Eagerly, you spin around, grabbing Jaemin by the back of his neck to pull him into a kiss that he lovingly returns, holding onto your waist to pull you closer to him.
When you pull back to stare lovingly into his eyes, you find nothing but pure adoration in Jaemin's. "You know, I really admire your friendship with Jeno. I like seeing you together. The fact that you're planning a whole birthday party for him, and even baking a cake."
"Really?" Jaemin grins, then presses a big wet kiss onto your cheek, and you giggle, feeling so absolutely in love with him that you almost forget about the task at hand: prepare him for the idea of a threesome.
It goes like this, all day, every day, for a few weeks. As often as possible, you try to slip in a little hint of it being really okay for you that he's so close with Jeno, that they could be even closer, and then, really, really subtly, that you want to fuck both of them at the same time.
Though Jaemin never really reacts to your words, not even when you mentioned Jeno as you were making out, and you're not sure if that's a good thing because your plan is working and his subconsciousness will do the rest for you, or if it's a bad thing and you could have spent your weeks talking to a brick wall with the same outcome.
Either way, you realized that there's someone else in this equation that you should take into consideration. Saying you kind of romantically like your best friend and their partner is one thing, but it doesn't mean that you're head over heels for the idea of, well, sleeping together.
As if the heavens above heard your silent pleas, they hand you an opportunity to talk to Jeno alone on a silver platter.
It's not often that you and Jaemin decide to go out, but from time to time, you do. One of your friends threw a party that night, inviting not only you and your boyfriend, but also Jeno. For the occasion, you wore an insanely short dress that hugs your curves perfectly, and you caught Jeno staring every so often which inflated your ego drastically. Maybe a tad too much because right now, with Jaemin tucked into bed after he's had a little bit too much to drink, you're once again sitting on the couch with Jeno.
You're downing water to prevent a hangover before heading to bed as well, your shared level of intoxication making it way easier for both of you to talk to each other.
"When I asked you about Jaemin's kinks last time," you state, eyelids a little heavy as you look over at Jeno, "it was for a reason."
"Really?" Jeno answers, smiling weakly with raised brows to urge you to continue.
"It's- not that it's bad, you know, in bed, I just want to experiment a little, but he doesn't like any of the stuff so far," you open your heart to him, and he nods along, way less shy and awkward than that night a couple of weeks ago.
"I just want him to live a little... I mean, he seemed to like the butt stuff," you admit, pouting slightly.
"Butt stuff?" Jeno's eyes widen a tad, and the sudden urge to kiss him washes over you, but of course, you'd never act on it. "Like anal?"
"Yeah."
"I can see why Jaemin's into that."
"Why?"
"Just a thought."
You hum in acknowledgement, sliding your back down the couch until you're lying down on it. "I had an idea."
"What idea?"
"Okay," you sit back up, a serious expression on your face, "you don't have to agree, or say anything really, but I've thought about..." You bite your lip, suddenly not so confident anymore. Your eyes focus on the floor, then the wall, then your fingers, just anywhere that isn't Jeno. With this proposal, you could scare him away. "...maybe... you could... join-"
"Yes!"
"Oh?" You raise your head, looking at him with slightly risen brows, "That was fast."
"Ah," Jeno breaks out a smile, hand coming up to scratch at the back of his head, "sorry if that was weird. I'm just glad you mentioned it. I... thought about it for a while now."
"Me too," you say, tongue darting out to lick over your lower lip as you check out the way Jeno's dress shirt reveals his chest and collarbones. You wonder what he would taste like if you licked over his skin, you wonder how he'd smell if you breathed in right behind his ear, you wonder how he'd feel inside you... "I've tried talking to Jaemin, but I don't know if he's up for it... maybe we should sit down with him together?"
"I think that's a good idea."
"Thank you," you smile genuinely, "and thank you for trusting me."
"Thank you for considering me."
"Last night was wild, huh?" Jaemin grins as he digs into his breakfast, completely unaffected by the way both you and Jeno can't seem to pry your nervous eyes off him.
"Sure, very wild," you nod, nervous hands fiddling with your chopsticks.
"It was pretty wild, yeah, like you said," Jeno answers almost at the same time, grabbing for his mug for the third time in the past minute, only to watch the liquid for a split second, then place it back on the table.
"Did anything happen after I went to bed?" Jaemin laughs. Seemingly, he did take notice in the way you're behaving so weirdly.
"Ah, not really, right Jeno?"
"Yeah, exactly, just nothing," Jeno supports your statement with a nod, his lips pressed tightly together. Jaemin raises a brow at him, then you, and you send him a forced smile which leads to Jaemin placing his own chopsticks down next to his plate.
"Look, guys, please just tell me. I can't enjoy my meal with the way you're both looking at me like you're wearing full diapers."
You snort at the statement, holding your hand in front of your mouth, though it obviously does nothing to conceal it. Jeno's eyes are glued to the ingredients listed on the cereal, and you decide that now has to be the right time to address the topic.
"Alright," you turn your whole body to face Jaemin, clearing your throat in the process, "so, uh, how should I put this... um, me and Jeno here," – you gesture to the guy sitting across from you who's currently occupied with chewing on the skin around his fingernails – "...spoke..."
"It's totally fine if you don't want to," Jeno throws in, looking at Jaemin who's smile seems to falter with every word you put out there.
"Yes, totally! It's just that we found-"
"- we realized that-"
"- and that made me think-"
"- I just don't want it to be weird-"
"- it was definitely not an easy decision to make-"
"- just because we've been friends for so long and-"
"- I obviously love you-"
"Guys!" Jaemin's loud voice stops both of your rambling. Then he adds a little calmer, "just tell me what it is."
You take a deep breath, closing your eyes briefly to collect your thoughts, though Jeno puts it out there before you can even open your mouth to speak.
"A threesome."
Jaemin's eyes widen, the blinks once, very slowly, then really fast, then he repeats Jeno's words with a voice that is a little too calm for your liking. You frown, biting your lip nervously, eyebrows scrunched together in worry.
It's silent for a good while, and you don't even dare to look at Jaemin, much less at Jeno.
"You don't have to-"
"Now I understand why you've been mentioning him all this time," Jaemin mutters, more to himself than in response to you. You feel your chest tighten. All this time, it had been so much fun, planning it out, fantasizing, and speaking with Jeno, that you completely forgot the fact that Jaemin could dislike the idea. Fuck, what if he thinks that you're not happy with him, that he's not enough for you, that you want to cheat on him? God, you can't even imagine how he must feel right now, possibly just simply betrayed by the people he loves the most.
"Jaem-"
"I have to go," he states, standing up, his chair screeching on the floor as he pushes it back, then he leaves the room. Not long after, you hear the front door closing.
Shit.
It's normal for Jaemin to leave when he's upset, though it doesn't happen often, so you're not really used to the feeling of having to wait for him. You decided to do a little bit of cleaning to get your mind off of things, though it's not really working. Jeno's left soon after Jaemin, claiming that it would be weird if he stayed, and he had chores to do anyway.
As it begins dawning outside, you start to feel a little bit worried about Jaemin. He's been gone the whole day, and though you want to give him space to think things over, you just want to know that he's safe. Fortunately, Jaemin knows how to behave like a decent human being, even though he's possibly mad at you, and texts you.
Jaemin [21:28]
I'm fine, don't worry. I just need time to think.
You decide to leave it at that, going to bed later with worries clouding your mind.
The next morning, you wake up, fortunately finding your boyfriend fast asleep next to you. A heavy weight falls off your chest since, whatever he's feeling right now, it's not bad enough that he can't share a bed with you. Though your heart and body ache to cuddle up to him, you peel yourself out of the sheets and move to the kitchen to find something to eat.
Not long after, Jaemin joins you in the kitchen. You feel your heartbeat increase, feeling admittedly nervous around him at the moment. Honestly, you can't wait to talk it out, but you respect his boundaries enough to wait until he is ready. There is no use in talking about it before Jaemin's ready.
Hence, you sit down at the table, eating in silence as you scroll through your phone. Jaemin sits down besides you, and you can practically feel the tension in his shoulders in your own.
Suddenly, Jaemin breathes in deeply, turns to you, opens his mouth, but closes it again soon after. You know the moment has come.
"I thought about it," finally comes out, and you nod at him, curious about the outcome, "and firstly, I want to apologize for not taking it too well. I was just surprised, is all. When I thought about it, really imagined it, I slowly began to kind of like the idea."
He holds his hand out subtly for you to take, and you do, signing him that you're not upset or hurt. The bubbling excitement in your veins you try to force down, or at least away from your face and feet to not give it away with a grin or excited movements.
"I'm glad," you bring out, and Jaemin grins widely, a sight you'd missed the past 24 hours.
"So, when?"
"When?" Your eyes bulge out of your head. You'd not anticipated for him to be so into the idea.
"Yeah! I mean, after really thinking about it, I realized that I really want to. Soon!" Jaemin nods, and grins even wider, squeezing your hand harder to support his expression of excitement. A smile takes over your face, and Jaemin leans in to kiss your cheek.
Okay, Jaemin wants it, you want it, Jeno wants it, there is nothing stopping you.
A few days later, Jeno is over once again. He's yet to learn about Jaemin's response to the whole situation, but you and Jaemin decided that it would be much more fun to catch him by surprise. While you finish getting dolled up in the safe confines of your bedroom, Jaemin and Jeno hang out on the couch in the living room.
Fancy lingerie covering your body under your oversized shirt, you shimmy over to the living room, entering carefully to see Jaemin sitting there with a grin, as close to Jeno as always, whilst his best friend looks a bit like this is a job interview, completely stiff and unrelaxed. For a second, you feel bad for him, and wonder if you should've told him, but the thought slips your mind as soon as you make eye contact with Jaemin, who bites his lip at the sight of you.
"May I sit down?" You ask, startling Jeno just a bit, his eyes immediately darting down to your exposed legs.
"Of course," Jaemin grins even wider, and Jeno nods without a word, but a gulp.
You walk over to them, standing in front of Jeno who looks at you with wide, surprised eyes, then you sit down on his lap. Jeno's eyes widen even more, wildly looking around between you and Jaemin to understand if this is okay for everybody, though his hands instinctively come to hold your waist.
"It's okay," Jaemin mumbles, gently caressing the back of yours and Jeno's neck before gently guiding them towards each other, hinting that he wants to see you kiss. Heat curls in your stomach, excitement causing a gush of wetness to seep out of you into your flimsy underwear, and you involuntarily grind down against Jeno a little.
Jeno's now lidded eyes find yours, "yeah?" He asks, and you breath out the same syllable as an answer before diving in. Jeno's kiss against your lips feels different from Jaemin's, not better or worse, just different, and you close your eyes, humming into the kiss.
Suddenly, you feel Jaemin's presence closer to you, his breath hitting the sensitive skin of your neck before he places gentle kisses there, hands roaming over your body. At this, you moan, pressing your body down against Jeno's who seems to be having a similar reaction to you, whining quietly as his hips buck up, making you feel his forming bulge.
The kiss becomes messier, needier, there's so much tongue and spit involved that when you finally part to catch your breaths, there's a string of spit still connecting your lips. You breathe heavily, feeling almost overwhelmed, but you can't dwell on that feeling because just a second later, Jaemin presses his own lips against yours.
With Jeno, kissing is new and exciting, you got to test out how he reacts to different movements of your tongue, or when you suck on his lips, but with Jaemin, it's warm and familiar, he knows exactly how to kiss you to get you all hot and bothered. Now, with this mixture of both, the feeling of Jeno's cock pressing against your clothed core, and the fact that everyone here is so much into this, you feel yourself getting wetter by the second, heat taking over your whole form.
When Jaemin pulls away, you briefly gaze into his eyes, and he grins at you before turning to Jeno. His gaze is hazy, taking in the beauty of both of you, and he seems to be pretty out of it already. It takes you by surprise when Jaemin's eyes dart down to Jeno's lips, and you gasp as soon as Jaemin closes the gap between him and Jeno, and presses their mouths together. Jeno seems to be just as surprised as you are, but honestly, neither of you is complaining. You find that it is really, really fucking hot to see your boyfriend make out with his best friend, you grind down against Jeno even more, noticing the way only one of his hands guides the movements on your hips while the other is busy roaming Jaemin's body.
When Jaemin pulls back, their eyes are glazed over with lust. Jeno's lip is trembling a bit, and as they gaze into each other's eyes, you suggest to move over to the bedroom.
As quickly as possible, you scramble over into the bedroom. As your bodies hit the mattress, it's not long until your clothes are discarded somewhere on the floor, leaving you in nothing but your underwear.
Soon, you find yourself seated between Jaemin's legs, your back pressed against his chest as he gropes at your breasts. Jeno appears between your own spread legs, laying down on his stomach.
"Eat her out," you hear Jaemin's raspy voice behind you, and you mewl at his dominant behavior.
"Y-yes," Jeno answers, then questioningly finds your eyes to ask for your consent, to which you nod immediately. He gently peels your underwear off your legs, exposing your glistening hole to his eyes. He nothing but whimpers at the sight, then goes straight to work of licking a fat stripe over your folds.
You moan, pressing your hips forward against his face, your hands coming to grab at his hair, but Jaemin catches them before you can bury your hands in the older's locks, caging you between his arms.
A shudder washes over you, and Jaemin leans down to whisper into your ear, "just enjoy it."
Your brain feels clouded with lust as you nod weakly, trying to focus on the way Jeno begins sucking on your clit, but Jaemin's hot presence behind you, and the way his cock presses against your back, makes it hard.
"This is so fucking hot," you hear Jaemin say, as Jeno plunges his tongue into your hole. At this point, you're a panting mess, moans spilling out uncontrollably as you relish in the feeling of the two boys. "You're doing so well, Jeno."
Noticing the way Jeno's hips press against the mattress repeatedly, you feel the knot in your stomach tighten. And when Jaemin tells Jeno to push his fingers into you, it's not long until you feel it snap, clenching around Jeno's fingers as you cum hard.
"Good girl," Jaemin mutters into your ear, and you feel like you could cum again just from that. You wonder what's gotten into Jaemin to make him all dominant like this, but you can't really form any coherent thoughts at this point.
"G-good boy," you let out shakily, maintaining eye contact with Jeno who looks about as fucked out as you, and Jaemin chuckles behind you. Weakly, you move to the side, and as Jeno gets up, you notice the way his cock strains against the fabric of his underwear. He looks so fucking hot, you notice, taking in his strong muscles and the way they flex when he moves. You pull him closer by his neck, attaching your lips to his as Jaemin grabs ahold of Jeno's small waist, pulling him closer to himself until Jeno's laying on top of him.
Parting from Jeno, you take in their position, and your post-orgasm mind can't comprehend that it's happening, you're having a threesome, and Jaemin is so into it that he begins pressing Jeno closer against himself until the older's grinding his bulge against Jaemin's.
From your position, you can't do much but watch, but you don't mind at all, not with how fucking hot they look dry humping each other, desperate moans rumbling in Jeno's throat as he buries his face in the crook of Jaemin's neck. Jaemin's also moaning deeply, thrusting his hips upwards to meet Jeno's needy movements.
It seems like they're losing themselves, staring deeply into each other's eyes as they rut against one another. You notice Jeno's movements getting sloppier, his whines grow higher as he desperately humps against Jaemin for release.
"Such a good boy, Jeno," Jaemin mutters into Jeno's ear, sounding almost as desperate, and that's apparently all Jeno needs to come undone, shuddering as he releases a deep groan, hips bucking as he cums into his boxers. Jaemin's moaning out loudly as well, and you'd recognize that sound anywhere as you realize that Jaemin just orgasmed at the same time as Jeno. The younger's grinning once again, petting Jeno's head as the older's coming down from his high.
Jeno flops onto his side, breathing heavily with closed eyes, you wonder if he finds the situation as surreal as you do.
Donghyuck shrieks as he slaps your arm, excitedly trembling in his seat at your surprising news. "You fucked?"
"Yes." You smirk proudly, eyebrows raised confidently.
"Okay, then I don't understand why you're not spilling every single detail right now?" Donghyuck stares at you with faux distress, furrowed brows and an agape mouth accompanying his crossed arms in front of his chest, which makes you chuckle.
"Okay, so I sat on Jeno's lap and we kissed, then Jaemin kissed me, then Jaemin kissed Jeno, and-"
"Hold up." Donghyuck's eyes are widened, mouth agape before he catches himself, squinting at you. "Did I just hear that right? They... kissed?"
"I was surprised as well, but then we moved to the bedroom and Jaemin had the biggest dom-top-daddy-energy I've ever experienced when Jeno ate me out," you say, recalling the moments makes heat pool in your stomach.
"Holy shit," Donghyuck gasps, not really grasping that fact that this actually happened, holding his hand in front of his mouth dramatically to support his reaction.
"Yeah, and then they started dry humping each other like animals, i don't know, it was super hot," you sigh dreamily, biting on your forefinger.
"Wait- and what did you do during all of this?"
"I watched," you say, furrowing your brows, "duh!"
"You mean," Donghyuck leans forward, a serious expression on his face which you mirror, "they got each other off and you just sat there?"
"You make it sound bad, it was hot!"
"Sorry, sorry. I just can't believe you initiated a three-way and then you were third wheeling..."
Crossing your arms in front of your chest, you realize that he does kind of have a point. You had just watched for half of the time, and while it hadn't been a problem in that moment, you certainly see it now. Not that it is bad, you just find it odd. And you decide that it's something you should talk to Jaemin about.
"Honey, we should talk," you say as you step foot into your shared bedroom. Your boyfriend's sitting on the bed, ready to go to sleep like every other night waiting for you to finish up with your routine to join him under the covers. While his eyes were glued to the screen of his phone just a moment prior, he does look up at you as soon as you enter.
"Ooh, sounds serious," he grins, and you don't have it in you to send back anything but an awkward smile as you feel kind of nervous just slipping under the covers next to him. "Shoot."
"So about the other night, you know, when we invited Jeno to-"
"It was amazing don't you think?" Jaemin interrupts you with a certain sparkle in his eyes you've never seen before.
"Yes, but-"
"We should really do that again. I mean, if you're okay with it, we could go a little further even. I really enjoyed myself in this kind of dominant role. I liked watching you touch Jeno and the other way around," Jaemin explains excitedly, his whole body jerks happily making him seem like a bunny. You've never seen him quite like this, well, downright thrilled because of sex. You can't help but crack a smile.
"I liked it too," you admit. Jaemin's grin widens even further, eyes wandering down your face to look at your lips.
"You were so sexy, baby," he mumbles, the grin still evident, but his whole demeanor changes from goofy to sexy within seconds. It makes you gulp visibly. "Such a good girl for me and Jeno."
His hand lifts up to stroke over the side of your face, then slowly down your neck towards your chest. You shiver, thighs pressing together lightly without you even noticing. You hold steady eye contact with him as soon as his gaze meets yours again, biting your lip, nodding and humming in agreement.
Jaemin leans forwards, his lips ghosting over your own and just as you think he's about to connect them in a passionate kiss, he pulls back, hand grabbing your jaw instead. Your eyes widen in surprise and shock because who is this guy?! That does not feel like your Jaemin at all... but you're not opposed to it by any means.
"Why don't you be a good girl just for me tonight, and we can invite him another time again, yeah?" Jaemin's hand slides down to your throat, slowly moving to tower over you and guiding you to lay on your back with him on top of your body.
"A good slut just for Nana, yeah?" He whispers, and you nothing but whine as his lips finally press against yours. That night, he doesn't sleep with you, he doesn't make love to you like he usually does, but rather fucks you into the next century. You can't even count how many times he's made you finish. And every time he spilled his cum deep inside of you, making you think he's finally going to let you rest, he started moving all over again, ripping another orgasm from both of you.
"Babe~"
You sigh, half-playful, half-serious because Jaemin can't stop mentioning that he wants Jeno to join you again. You are thrilled, of course, because you finally found that one thing that gets him so excited, but at the same time, you're still a little worried. Worried because 1) you're scared of third-wheeling once again and 2) because you've been recently reminded that there are, in fact, actual feelings involved, and you're not sure how to deal with them yet.
On the other hand, it feels like it's been months since you've last laid your hands upon Jeno's gorgeous body, and as much as you want to be mature and deal with these aforementioned risks first, you can't completely shut down the possibly selfish part of your brain that's labeled We want Jeno.
And besides, are you really selfish if you're granting your boyfriend's biggest wish? I don't think so.
"Oh my God, just call him already!"
"Ai, thank you~" Jaemin kisses you wetly before storming out of the room to do exactly that, and you can't help but smile at him before wide-eyed-ly realizing that you're not ready to be greeting any guests so you strike over into the bathroom to take a shower.
An hour later, you almost draw a fat line of lipstick diagonally over your face as you jump as the door bell rings. Before you can even comprehend that you have to get up and open the door, you can already hear Jaemin's naked soles flop over the wooden floor with fast steps as he hurries to let Jeno inside. A smile forms on your lips as you imagine the excitement that must be flowing through him.
With a last quick spray of perfume, you sigh and get up, opening the door to greet Jeno as well. You're only halfway surprised as you find them pressed against the hallway wall, mouths clashing against one another in a feverish kiss.
Clearing your throat to announce yourself, you break them apart.
"Babe," Jaemin says breathlessly, his back pressed against the wall, and Jeno turns to face you, pure, primal lust displayed in his eyes as he leaves Jaemin be and takes too quick steps approaching you before wrapping his arms around your form and pulling you into a similarly heated kiss.
To say you're surprised would be an understatement, but you have no intent to stop him, your attention only on Jeno, the way his lips taste and the way his already forming bulge presses into your middle, and Jaemin's who's hurried over as well, pressing himself between the supple cheeks of your ass. This position feels suffocating in the best way possible, and Jaemin urges you towards the bedroom, quickly getting impatient at the lack of attention.
Jeno hoists you up, and soon after your back hits the mattress with a thud, four hands touching you all over, quickly peeling you and everyone else out of every single piece of clothing. You already feel a little hazy, core wet at all the attention you're receiving, heart thumping away happily in your chest as you're manhandled into a similar position as last time.
Jaemin's chest is pressed against your back, deep voice tickling at your throat while Jeno's fingers tease through your wet folds, praising you about how ready you seem for them, and you whine embarrassingly loud.
"Such a pretty girl, want Nana to fuck you, baby?" Jeno asks, and his confidence is a little unfamiliar considering his behavior during your last time together, and you briefly wonder whether they planned this out.
"Yeah, want Nana to fuck you?" Jaemin's voice tickles over your entire body like sweet honey, your head moving on it's own to nod at the question. Your gaze falls down to watch Jeno align Jaemin's cock with your hole – and God is it hot.
Jaemin thrusts into you from below, setting a slow pace of deep strokes from the start. The feeling alone is mind-blowing – of course, Jaemin knows how to use his cock – but the way Jeno's eyes are trained on where you and Jaemin are connected does things to you that you cannot comprehend.
Moans flow freely from between your lips, accompanying Jaemin's deep grunts and Jeno's gasps just as he leans in to wrap his lips around your clit. You nearly jump at the action, head falling back onto Jaemin's shoulder who just chuckles at your weakness.
"Hm, is he eating you out good?" Jaemin mumbles, then moans out. Your head snaps back up, taking in the way Jeno's tongue shifted lower to lick just where you and Jaemin are connected, then even lower to suck on Jaemin's balls.
Incoherent babbling falls from your lips as the knot in your lower tummy tightens, ready to snap at any time, and luckily they understand, Jeno coming back up to tongue at your clit, innocent eyes clouded with eagerness to please staring up at you.
The knot finally snaps with such force that you see white, cunt clamping down around Jaemin's length as you orgasm, with Jeno licking up everything your high has to offer.
Haziness clouds your brain. You're in the n-th position of the night, Jaemin and Jeno still going at it like insatiable rabbits. You're trapped beneath Jeno's body, his hot muscles pulsating above you, inviting your incoherent thoughts to wonder what it would feel like to sink your teeth into the pale flesh, with his cock hitting all the right spots deep inside you, his head thrown back and delightful grunts meeting your eardrums. Behind him is Jaemin, buried to the hilt inside of his best friend, pearly drops of sweat trickling down his temples, a lazy grin rounding his cheeks.
"'m gonna f-fucking-" Jeno can't even finish his sentence, his head dropping to lay in the crook of your neck, puffing clouds of exhausted, hot air against your sticky skin. A long whine accompanies his orgasm that he makes sure to fuck so deeply into you that you're sure you're going to spot your panties for the following week. Jaemin leans forward as well, creating direct eye contact with you as he snaps his hips a few more times, drawing tiny gasps from Jeno that you're only able to feel due to your undeniable closeness, then releases as well.
Dropping down beside you, everyone tries to catch their breath. Without much strength left in your muscles, you cuddle into Jeno, and Jaemin gently holds your hand in his. It's quiet, but it's not silent, it's cozy, but not stuffed.
"I fucking love you guys," Jeno says, and you're sure that he falls asleep mere seconds later. Love. Your eyes snap open, head lifting gently to find Jaemin already looking at you, a grin spreading wider the longer he watches you. Without words, you know what he's hinting at. This is just the beginning of something new, something great.
© 2023 YUTASBELLYBUTTONPIERCING all rights reserved — please DO NOT translate, take, nor repost any of my works.
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ihaechans · 8 months
Text
Midnight Driver || N.JM
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PAIRING ▸ Jaemin x reader
GENRES ▸ smut, semi-public sex
WARNINGS/CONTENT ▸ profanity, they are parked in an abandoned parking lot it’s just not stated, sex under the influence (alcohol), hints at drunk driving (please don’t do this), oral (f), pet names, unprotected sex (another stupid decision), cream pie (the decisions keep getting worse on the readers part), multiple orgasms, hints at shower sex, big dick jaem, hair pulling
SUMMARY ▸ Fucking in the middle of no where with a man you met no more than a month ago was not something on your bucket list, but for some reason, it wasn’t something you were completely against.
WORD COUNT▸ 1.6k
A/N: blessing y’all with two smuts today who cheered. Working hard lately because I feel like I haven’t been doing enough writing this year but I hope you guys enjoy this quick one. Feel free to send requests! They are always open! Also this is not edited lmao
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“Ever fucked in a car before?”
Jaemin sits still next to you in the drivers seat, eyes ahead as he stares into the darkness of the night.
It’s pitch black outside, nothing is heard beside the soft breaths of Jaemin and yourself, alone with the crickets. The car engine hums softly, masking the otherwise eerie silence that surrounds you both.
The night started off innocent. A simple date with Na Jaemin at the bar down town, no sexual intentions, just a genuine connection and a few drinks to let loose.
Maybe one too many drinks.
A smile creeps up on your face as you turn towards Jaemin, giggling at his question. “No, have you?”
Jaemin chuckles, his eyes twinkling mischievously in the dim moonlight that filters through the windshield. “No, but we could change that if you want.” The words slide off his tongue a little too smoothly, your legs automatically pressing together as his deep voice hits your ears.
You feel a shiver run down your spine, both from the cool night air and the adrenaline coursing through your veins.
Fucking in the middle of no where with a man you met no more than a month ago was not something on your bucket list, but for some reason, it wasn’t something you were completely against.
“And what would you do if I were to say yes?”
A mischievous smile dances on his lips as he glances at you, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. “Why don’t you just let me show you?”
You haven’t gotten butterflies in ages, but god Jaemin was such a sweet talker it was almost impossible not to feel anything with the way he was speaking to you.
“What makes you think I’d say yes Jaemin?”
Jaemin leans closer, his voice low and husky in your ear, “Come on baby, i see the way you’re pressing your legs together, why don’t you let me help with that, hm?”
Your heart races at his words, sending a thrill of excitement coursing through your veins. With every second, you were getting more and more turned on, the closeness in proximity between you two not helping any.
Jaemin doesn’t back away when he finishes speaking, staring straight into the side of your head. Your heart nearly stops when you feel his hand softly grab your chin, turning your head to face his own.
“Just say the word baby, I’m right here.”
Baby. That’s what does it.
A split second is all it takes for Jaemin’s lips to be on yours, a hand coming to rest on the back of your neck as he kisses you deeper, tongue begging for access into your mouth.
There’s desperation in Jaemin’s kisses, a desperation telling you he’s been waiting to do this for a while now.
With each touch of his lips, the car seems to fade away into the background, forgotten in the midst of this electrifying moment. Only when you try to shift closer, bumping into the armrest is when you snap out of the daze Jaemin’s kisses have put you under, breaking away with an embarrassed giggle.
Without a word, Jaemin pops the car door open, immediately hopping into the back seat, clearly waiting for you to join him.
Like an idiot, you climb over the armrest, nearly crashing face first into Jaemin’s lap.
“Someone’s a little clumsy,” Jaemin chuckles softly, his eyes sparkling with amusement as he watches you settle onto the back seat beside him.
He doesn’t give you time to respond before he’s pulling you into his lap, hands resting on your hips. The car engine hums softly as the midnight air rushes in through the open windows, the city lights creating a vibrant backdrop to this intimate moment.
“You’re wasting gas by keeping the car on you know,” you remark, playfully poking Jaemin's chest. Jaemin smirks, brushing a strand of hair away from your face.
“That’s really what you’re focused on right now?” He chuckles again, caressing your face intimately.
You can feel the thrill of the midnight air mixing with the electricity between you two, as you lean in closer, capturing his lips with yours once again.
The kiss is softer this time, yet the passion intensifies. Your hands entangle in each other's hair as you explore the depths of each other's desire, thinking of nothing but each other.
Jaemin maneuvers your body, positioning you so that your back is leaning against the car door, legs dangling off the seat as Jaemin kneels down in between them. “May I have a taste princess?” He stares up at you, eyes flooded with lust.
With a nod, your heart racing, you eagerly give him permission to explore, hips lifting up as he slides your shorts and panties down at once, revealing your wet core.
Unmoving, Jaemin stares at your cunt, a blush creeping up on your face. You’re about to ask him to do something, mouth opening to complain and immediately closing as he licks a stripe up your pussy, a weak moan leaving your lips.
“What a pretty pussy,” he slurs, wasting no time as he dives back in, slurping and licking relentlessly.
You can’t even form words, moans spilling out with every lick. Jaemin hold your thighs open with his hands, kneading the flesh as he eats you out like a starved man.
Your hands grip Jaemin’s hair, pushing his face into your pussy, rutting your hips up into his face as you near your orgasm. “Gonna cum like a good girl?” He moans as you grip his hair even harder, hips moving frantically against his face.
“Fuck keep going-“ and with one final suck to your clit, you’re toppling over the edge, legs twitching and moans spilling as you release on Jaemin’s tongue.
Finally, you release your hard grip on his hair, looking down in between your legs to be met with dazed eyes staring back at you. “What a good girl,”
It takes a moment for you to recover, Jaemin licking and nipping at your thighs while you catch your breath in silence.
“Let me ride you.” Only then, the silence is broken, Jaemin’s head perking up in surprise from between your legs.
With a smirk, he finds place on the car seat next to you, the car getting crowded with all the movement going on. “Well,” he pats his thighs, signaling for you to sit down on them, “Get to work then baby.”
You chuckle as you climb onto his lap, feeling the familiar heat coursing through your veins. Trying your hardest not to fumble with the belt on his jeans for too long, you finally manage to push the rough material down to his thighs, reaching into his boxers to free Jaemin's cock, eliciting a deep groan from him.
The boy licks his lips as you stare down at his dick, one of his hands finding place on the back of your neck as he pulls you in for another kiss.
Without thinking, you stroke him up and down, earning a few moans from the man In front of you. He rolls his hips up, fucking himself into your hand for a few before aggressively pulling you closer by your waist, breaking the kiss to catch your breath.
“Gonna ride me now?” He’s impatient, but you nod, grabbing him from the base and lining him up with your entrance.
In one swift motion, Jaemin is inside of you, a deep groan filling the air as your wet heat squeezes around him. Your eyes widen when you truly realize how big Jaemin is, a dark chuckle erupting from his chest when he noticed your expression.
“What’s wrong princess? Said you were gonna ride me but now you’re acting all scared.”
“S-shut up,” you slur out, immediately bouncing up and down in his lap after his teasing.
The both of you moan freely, the sound of skin against skin the only audible sound in the car besides your moans. Jaemin feels good inside of you, so deep and full. “Faster,” he growls, slightly thrusting his hips up to meet your bounces.
At this point, you’re moaning so loud it has to be obnoxious on the ears, but Jaemin finds it incredibly hot, thrusting up even harder into you, attempting to make you even louder.
Jaemin suddenly changes the pace, thrusting deep into you perfectly to find the spot that has you gasping for air, gripping onto his bicep impossibly tight, “I’m close,” you moan out, throwing your head back.
You squeal when Jaemin grips your hair, forcing you to keep your gaze on him as he thrusting into you. “Cum for me, come on baby I know you can do it,”
His encouraging words along with one last thrust against your gspot has your eyes rolling back, head dipping forward to rest on his chest as you release around Jaemin.
“Fuck,” he pants, “Where do you want me to cum?” Jaemin’s eyes light up when you mumble a barely audible, “inside”, the man wasting no time as he fucks himself up into you harshly, hips no longer carrying a rhythm as he releases in your cunt.
He groans, finally stilling his hips inside of you.
You open your eyes, head fuzzy as you stare deep into Jaemin’s eyes.
“Jaemin… how am I supposed to clean this up?” The both of you dip your head down in unison, staring down at the mess in between your legs.
Jaemin pulls out, watching as his cum slowly drips out of your hole.
“Shit, that’s hot. Guess you’ll just have to keep it inside until I get you home, yeah?”
With a smirk, Jaemin lifts you off of him, pulling his jeans back over himself. “Jaemin we can’t just stay dirty like this.”
“Alright then, let’s just shower back at my place.”
“Together?”
He chuckles, settling back into the front seat. “You said it, not me.”
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