#my other great grandma died a few days ago so the wound was just reopened or something i dont know

[forest-from-the-trees]

grief fucking sucks man

#everything about it is just awful #like the way it presents for me is in waves i guess #especially when its for people i had a really complicated relationship with #ive had three grandparents die this year #all in the last five months #and two of those i hadnt seen since i was about 10 or 11 because they were from my dads side and i dont have contact with him anymore #and so the first time i saw one of them was when she was on her literal deathbed dazed and confused barely able to speak #dying of cancer #she just laid there and held my hand and whispered to herself about how pretty i was and kept pointing to a picture #on the wall next to her of me and my siblings from around the time we last saw her as little kids #i cried the whole time #she died about three days later #her mom (my great grandma) died two weeks later #that was five months ago #i thought i got all my processing out that very last time i visited her #but evidently not cause i was just scrolling through tiktok (of all things) and saw this video of this girl #talking briefly about her mom dying and really breaking down over it #and i guess that got to me #my other great grandma died a few days ago so the wound was just reopened or something i dont know #i dont feel well