#my fuckass brain can't remember the password to the fan accounts for that hyperfixation

[soyboysace]

just remembered that one (1) hyperfixation i had in early junior high and it's plaguing my brain right now. i can't sleep i want to scream just thinking about it like no amount of money could bring me to say out loud what exactly that hyperfixation was but the problem is that my brain remembers it. i'm lucky that no one in my personal life (i think. i sure fucking hope so btw!) remembers that phase in my life but i swear to god i fear that if someone says the name of that hyperfixation in my presence, suddenly it'll jog up their memory of a period between 2013 to 2015 where i was extremely vocal about that one thing with zero shame. actually, shame should be something u are given the moment u hit the age of 13. it should be a right not something that u must learn as u progress thru puberty. i just wanna AAAAAAAA fuck

#why did no one teach me what a digital footprint was when i was thirteen #i just wanna SLEEP #but i'm haunted by the thoughts #the memories #and the problem is #my fuckass brain can't remember the password to the fan accounts for that hyperfixation #so it's still out there #AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT #the only good thing is that i don't think i've ever told anyone in my personal life my username #but still #again #the problem is that I REMEMBER THE USERNAME #i should note lmao it's nothing illegal #it's just really fucking odd for anyone what more a thirteen year old to fixate on #like couldn't u have picked something more chill cringe like idk a one direction y/n fanfic writing phase #like i could deal w that #i could sleep soundly with a history like that #but this #goddamn #GODDAMN!!!!!!!!!! #ramble ramble