#my anxiety at the though of a gp appointment is astronomical- even thinking about it makes me feel sick

[herequeerexitentialfear]

anyway. the uk sucks ass and living here sucks ass too! NHS is sooo amazing until its soooo not!

#thebirdspeaks #well more like the bird vents #like even if they arent making medically transitioning even more hellish and difficult #since shortly after i went to gps about my new chronic pain and fatigue i knew that medically transitioning was no longer an option #because theres no fucking way im subjecting myself to the same humiliation dehumanization and disregard for my humanity and knowledge #of myself and my body and lived experiences and limits all over again. even if it means dysphoria and not being as happy as i could be with #my body. i dont even let myself think about if i want hrt or surgery because i cant put myself through the shit required to get it #and thanks to negligent nurses i gained a phobia of injections after having a awful blood test with the needle wiggling around in my vein #my anxiety at the though of a gp appointment is astronomical- even thinking about it makes me feel sick #fucking nhs #and im meant to be grateful im not paying out my ass for the privilege of being legitimately traumatized? by the people meant to HELP ME #well lets just say ive realized why two of my fics include surgical horror ass shit