#mutuals this is a mandatory reading so you can understand the inner mechanisms of my mind

[demoarchivedagain]

my dreams were scrambled last night. it started off with me being commissioned by a club at my school to create some graphics. all the photos they gave me to apply/use as reference were of legit gore. i coped by reminding myself they were some sort of medical club even though the photos put me off. the dream distorted and i ended up waking up and going back to sleep pretty fast.

i seemed to re-enter the concept of the dream almost immediately. but i remained tied to the fact i was in my room. so the dream swiftly changed locations and soon i was hearing someone rattling at my broken door telling me what they’d do with my ribs after mutilating my torso. i was just conscious enough to think this was real and started to gradually yell back that i was going to kill them, over and over. at one point they went quiet which prompted me to sing the chorus of just like Arcadia which was embarrassing but felt comforting at the time (there’s a chance i was sleep talking). i shot awake again when i saw the door swinging open and ended up staying up longer.

went back to sleep. dreamt that i slept through all of sunday and forgot to do this one important thing. my dad was home even though he shouldn’t be. tried to take my mind off work by thinking of gay porn. woke up close to 6 and went back to sleep.

dreamt i was in my grandparents old home but between the stairs leading to the second floor and the stairs leading to the basement was a staircase that got closer and closer to the ceiling until there was only a tiny opening. it was supposedly a very personal room for their cat. all covered in carpeting, beautifully lit- had the same interior design as mc escher’s works. it even had a tiny piano!! there were two entrances and one exit but i forget where some of the others were. anyway i needed to help clean the place for guests. laundry room creeped me out as always. my brother was bullying the guests for no reason. woke up disappointed because both my grandparents’ cats are dead now, they sold their old home. and that would’ve been a great room for a cat. went back to sleep.

argument with dad. wake up fall back asleep.

dreamt i was a part of some school program i can’t understand but the location was nicer and i overall preferred the people attending. was invited to some kind of ceremony and got a message from an old friend(who is not in sweden) to meet them way outside of the city in a town that i figured doesn’t exist. drifted through lucid school scenarios and made it to the ceremony. really weird booths containing information, voice recordings and videos of the students. the one i was featured in didn’t really seem like myself at all. my voice and mannerisms were unlike my own, i was leaning against an animal cage in a zoo between two other students, talking in-comprehensively. i ended up leaving out of panic. tried to reach the train station but once again, something was off and i was pushed into the ground can’t remember what came after if anything. woke up for real.

#dream diary #mutuals this is a mandatory reading so you can understand the inner mechanisms of my mind