#mot much other than fictional universes make me super happy

[demadogs]

i never post tiktoks anymore and i have a big following bc i made videos of my cats like talking to each other with the text to speech thing and i hyped up that id be home for summer to post but i havent been creative so ive barely made any and i feel guilty like im depriving 600k people of wholesome cat content but i cant get myself to make one

#i also was gonna make merch when i was at my Peak but then i never went through with it and i always feel so guilty for not bc i worked with #an artist and everything and she was great #she still got paid but i feel like i didnt do my part but now im not even posting so they wouldnt even sell much #this is the epitome of first world problems but like yea #mot much other than fictional universes make me super happy #that and the sky. and music. and still photography but not like it used to #i used to do photography way more id go out with my dad and take pics but i dont really wanna spend time with my dad but i cant drive #i still hold a grudge against him for being mad at me for posting a happy pride video on my tiktok last year #that was the biggest fight ive ever had with anyone he thought that i wouldnt be hired anywhere if i had a gay pride video on tiktok #bc my tiktoks on my fucking resume bc im in the ONE major where having a big social media following is actually pretty beneficial #and he was like ‘now you wont get internships!!’ blah blah and we were in the car and i was fucking screaming at him i hated him so much #and he doesnt know it cuz i pretend but ive never let that go #so i dont want him to drive me to places so i can take more photos #plz like this if you read all that i just need to know