Tumgik
#more like paul hymen hehehehe
blowflyfag · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY VS. JIM CORNETTE
DRESSED TO KILL!
Jim Cornette and Paul E. Dangerously: rival managers, sworn enemies. Paul E. thought he had the key to embarrassing Cornette at the Great American Bash, but Cornette had a game plan tailored for success
By Bill Apter
[Jim Cornette is eager to scrap with Paul E. Dangerously (above). Dangerously has a momentary advantage over his rival (below).
JIM CORNETTE WORE powder blue, Paul E. Dangerously wore traditional black. They both wore tuxedos into the ring at the July 23 Great American Bash in Baltimore, almost as if they were attending each other’s funeral.
Of course, that was the whole idea. 
“I’m obsessed with your demise,” Dangerously told Cornette. “I’ve been living over the edge of the Empire State Building. I’ve hired Rob Lowe as babysitter! But win, lose, or draw, when I get through with you, you’ll never be able to walk again!”
“I don’t care if you try to break my leg, I’ll hop,” Cornette promised. “I don’t care if you break both my legs, I’ll crawl. You tried to take my place, but if you wanna do that, you’d better put me six feet under. If there’s one time I needed to win a fight it’s tonight!”
The style of victory wasn’t important to either man. Infact, Dangerously didn’t care who won the match, as long as he had the chance to cripple Cornette. “I’m not concerned with winning,” Dangerously declared. “I just want to take Cornette out.” And, Cornette countered, “I never said I was a wrestler, but I can deal with Dangerously on my worst day.”
In reality, their egos were doing most of the talking. Although there are three other managers in the NWA-Paul Ellering, Gary Hart, and Teddy Long-Dangerously and Cornette are the fastest talkers and, thus, have the highest profiles. Theta are also very much alike: You’d be hard-pressed to tell Dangerously apart from the pre-fan favorite Cornette. Even now, the similarities are startling.
Dangerously uses a portable telephone; Cornette uses a tennis racket.
Dangerously once managed a team called The Midnight Express; Cornette manages a team called The Midnight Express
[Dangerously throws powder in Cornette’s face (Above); Paul E. would later get powder in his face. Cornette attempts to roll out of the way of Paul E.’s elbow drop (below).
Dangerously once was a wrestling photographer and did some work for Inside Wrestling; Cornette once was a wrestling photographer and did some work for Inside Wrestling.
Both men fit the profile of the modern-day yuppie. But when Dangerously invaded the NWA along with Randy Rose and Dannis Condrey late in 1988, the fans decided to take sides with Cornette. That’s the biggest difference between the two.
But try telling that to Cornette and Dangerously, both of whom think they’re one of a kind. This war cannot be settled by words outside the ring or by a match inside the ring. It can only be settled when either Cornette or Dangerously leaves the federation. The NWA simply isn’t big enough for both men.
The intensity of their feud, in fact, made this rare manager bs. Manager match possible. In most cases, these matches turn into total bores, simply because most managers either have no ring training or are simply poor wrestlers. Cornette in fact, displayed his lack of ability several years ago at the Great American Bash when he was embarrassed by Baby Doll. 
“That wasn’t going to happen again, and you know why?” Cornette quipped. “Baby Doll scared the hell out of me a lot more than Dangerously ever did-which ain't much.”
Cornette wasn’t even frightened by the fact that Dangerously was aware of his biggest weakness. Prior to the match, Dangerously revealed that he knew of a knee injury Cornette suffered at Starrcade ‘86. “He’s done his homework, he’s right,” Cornette admitted. “I tore my anterior cruciate ligament, I was hospitalized, and I still wear a brace to the ring.”
Seconds after the opening bell. Dangerously threw powder in Cornette’s face, then began working on both of his archrival’s knees. He ripped off Cornette’s jacket, then pulled off his cummerbund away and used it to strangle Dangerously.
But Paul E. regained control and slapped Cornette to the mat. After missing badly with a flying elbow smash, he rebounded with a series of punches. Cornette psyched himself up sufficiently to floor Dangerously and rip  off his shirt, but then Paul E. dipped into his pocket for some more powder. Cornette didn't seem to know what was coming. The end was near. 
Cornette, as it turned out, was aware of Dangerously's scheme. As Paul E. strutted toward him, Cornette kicked the powder into his face. Seconds later, Dangerously hightailed it back to the dressing room, wearing only his blue Fruit of the Looms and a pair of black shoes. As the standing-room-only Baltimore Arena crowd cheered and laughed loudly, Cornette smashed Dangerously’s telephone to the canvas and held his arms in victory. 
“That was as sweet as anything that’s ever happened to me,” Cornette said afterward. “That was as good as ‘Sweet’ Stan and ‘Beautiful’ Bobby winning the World tag team championship. That was better than when my Mama sold AT&T one day before the crash. I did it for myself and Mama, but I also did it for the fans out there that have supported me for so long. Dangerously, you’ve been exposed!”
In more ways than one. Because when a match based on style came down to substance, Cornette wasn’t only dressed to kill. He was ready to complete the task, too. How can Paul E. show his face now?
3 notes · View notes