#mommy gf and also being goretastic. luv it

[paeonie-s]

thinking abt csm again (<- it has been 2 years)

#csm #🌸.txt #denji may be my fave for a variety of deeply concerning reasons but everyone else is so insanely well written even the chs i hate. fujimoto #rly said oh lemme make every character experience immeasurable grief and carry that burden w them the rest of their arcs #aki was trying to change. he was opening up and healing and learning to take care of ppl again in a way he was never rly offered as a kid. #AND IT MATTERS !!!!! BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN HE GETS TO LIVE !!!!! all it means is that for a couple dozen of chapters he gets to shower denji #and power love theyve never experienced. bro #back to denji for a moment theres sm abt him that makes me insane. the complete lack of love and social conditioning as a child leading to #him being completely unaware of whats socially acceptable and how to distinguish between genuine love and affection. tho he can feel in his #stomach when smth is wrong he just doesnt have the emotional vocab to express what that is #the scenes w makima make me so nauseous for v personal reasons but the whole concept of conquest and control being embodied as a soft spoken #blunt and seemingly intensely honest women who listens to u talk abt dumb childlike shit w no compaints and provides u constant validation #and 'support' ... i fear that fujimoto is just like me fr #anyways hayakawa fam cuddling together power and denji sharing a room aki finally getting to be an older brother denji learning to cook and #all of their inevitable deaths <3 one of us has to die first #anyways csm is abt learning to love after experiencing pain and grief that has left you feeling subhuman and also the dangers of wanting a #mommy gf and also being goretastic. luv it