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the-seventhmoon · 4 years

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To The Ex

Hi M,

It’s been a while since we broke up. Ilang years na ba? More than 2 years na ‘no. A lot has changed sakin and I’m sure sayo rin. From what I’ve heard, you’re already a sales manager. I’m so proud of you. Soon licensed civil engineer naman. Alam ko namang kaya mo. Tita still messages me up to now and sometimes I miss your fam. I miss Monique, your two brothers (Kevin & Gab), tita, ate Ange and even your dad na binibigyan ako ng perfume kahit sinabi mo naman sakanya na di ako nagpeperfume. Hehe. I miss how you guys welcomed me to your family. How tita calls me anak too. How one plate of nachos is for me lang while the others have to share. I still talk to Monique sometimes. I miss her the most. I remember crying noon because I realized I won’t get to see her anymore. Wala narin akong cheesecakes from tita. I wanted to thank your family for treating me extra extra good. Naalala ko on our 1st anniversary, ate Ange messaged me when she learned na I won’t be able to join your fam’s swimming. I told her na I was planning to surprise you and she was ecstatic. I remember how they helped me surprise you. I remember your brothers hiding me so you won’t see me agad. Most importantly, I remember your reaction when you first saw me that day. Siguro ganun nalang tayo ngayon no? puro “I remember” nalang. You’re a good memory, Mark. You and your fam. So I would like to say na I’m grateful na nakasama ko kayo for some time. Your gf is so lucky, M. They’re very maalaga. :)

Writing this was not easy. I thought it would be but no, it brings back the pain, the memories and the what ifs. What if we didn’t broke up? What if kinaya ko pa? What if I stayed strong for us? Nag pplan na kaya tayo ng wedding ngayon? I’m sorry that I didn’t give you the proper break up that you deserve. That kinda explains why nahihirapan akong icompose to. I was planning to talk to you after ko sa thesis but a lot of things happened. By the time na medyo nakacope na ko, I felt that it’s too late to contact you.

Since I opened that topic, let me catch you up. After we broke up, I found out that my mom has a massive debt. I will not go into numbers na. My world shattered. I was coping with our breakup, stress sa school and then, yun nga, the debt. She came into my room one day tapos she just cried. We got into the point na we have to pawn her jewelries, as well as the house. The car’s gone too. Ang hirap noon, Mark. Wala ka na sakin, may problema pa sa bahay. Nawalan ako ng gana sa lahat. Ang hirap nung transition cos hindi ko naman naramdaman noon na wala kaming money. So ayun. Parang bumagsak lahat. Nothing felt right. Simula nung nawala ka sakin, nothing felt right. I was in no position din naman cos I was the one who ended things satin. Ayun. I was supposed to graduate ng November noon, kasabay ko dapat si Monique but since nawalan na ako ng will, hindi na ako nagfunction. Hindi na ako lumaban. I even got mad kay mama. Parang twice a week, umiinom lang ako. Sometimes pumupunta lang ako ng Intra to drink. That was how I coped. Lumaban ako the next term. It helped a lot na nandyan sila Che. The girls got my back. They supported me. I swear to God kung wala sila feeling ko walang mangyayari sakin. Eventually, I graduated. I was with Ten back then. Ten was my girlfriend noon. Odiba, told you madaming nagchange sakin. Haha. I was with her then but I can’t help to think yung what ifs. Ikaw kasi kasama ko sa buong struggle ko noong college. You were the one who received my late night phone calls only for you to listen to me cry. You were the recipient of my frustrations. You were there when I failed my subjects. You were there to cheer me up whenever I’m having a hard time believing in myself. You were the sole reason why I want to move forward when everything’s shit. You were my go-to person. You were my home. You were there when I had to stay late at school for my presentations. You waited for me. Isang beses lang yun pero hinding hindi ko makakalimutan yun. You were there all the time. Maybe not physically pero I never felt alone noon. You believed in me. You validated me. You made me feel na I can do lots of things. Na ang galing galing ko kahit hindi naman talaga. You kept my heart full. Sinamahan mo ko pero hindi tayo umabot sa dulo.

M, this is the first time I’m actually addressing you. I didn’t give much thought into our breakup probably because I don’t want to have any regrets. Ayokong isipin na mali ung decision ko. Siguro kasi mapride akong bata. Alam mo naman ako. Hehe. But seeing you successful and happy, I felt like tama yung decision ko. Feeling ko rin naman at some point we will go separate paths - may pumapasok na what ifs lang talaga sa isip ko minsan. I can’t help it especially cos you’re one of the best things ever. Narealize ko lang after those failed relationships. Walang nakalamang sayo, M. You’ve treated me so good na hinahanap hanap kita minsan. Minsan nacocompare ko na kayo. At some point nasabi ko na “my ex treated me right kaya alam ko paano ako dapat itreat”; for that, I thank you. You showed me how I should be treated but I guess may mga bagay na hindi ko napalagpas noon that led to our breakup. I’m sorry, M if I didn’t give you another chance. I felt so tired noon. Naisip ko kung ito ba yung gusto ko. I’m sorry napagod akong intindihin ka. Napagod akong mag adjust. I felt so neglected that time. Naramdaman kong dagdag ako sa iisipin mo noon and that’s the last thing na gusto ko. And that became my baggage up until now. Feeling ko istorbo lang ako sa tao, nakakabother lang ako ganun. Sinabihan mo rin ako ng konting tiis pa, hindi ko makakalimutan un kasi birthday ko yun. Malungkot ka kasi wala kang mabigay sakin kada birthday ko and honestly okay lang naman. Ramdam kong you were trying. Nagpaka selfish ako noon, M. Inuna ko sarili ko. Hindi kita inisip. Iniwan kita I’m sorry. Hindi ko maimagine hanggang ngayon ung pain na nacause ko sayo. Sabi ni tita, madalas daw mainit ulo mo noon. Sabi naman ng friends mo, di ka raw nag kkwento kaya sakin sila nag tatanong. Eh alamo namang di rin ako nag kkwento. Haha.

Nung nagbreak tayo, nahirapan ako. Sympre wala na yung everyday ko, wala na ung routine ko. And I can’t say sa mga tao noon na mahirap at masakit kasi ako yung nang iwan. Pero alamo ba, naglakad lakad ako sa mga usual places na tinatambayan naming magkakaibigan... hindi kita maalala doon. Narealize kong ako pala ung madalas nasayo. Madalas nasa school mo or malapit doon. Sa usual na pinupuntahan mo, sa inuman, sa bahay ng friends mo at kung saan saan pa. Sa bahay niyo which is understandable naman since di ka pa pwede sa house. When I realized that, mas naging strong ung decision kong wag ka nang pansinin. Na I wanted this for myself naman. I wanted to put myself first as I’ve given you all of me and I want to take myself back. I guess di ko nagawa yun. Sabi ni Lyle, after us, I had troubles giving my 100% sa relationship kaya daw nagfafail. It’s probably bcos nabuhos ko na sayo lahat. Parang ayoko na rin, M. After you, ayoko na. Napagod narin ako and hindi ko alam kung hanggang kelan ung pahingang kailangan ko. Ang hirap hirap Mark pag binigay mo ung lahat sa isang tao tapos di nagwork out. I try to go on with life pero bumabalik balik ako sa dating tayo. Namimiss ko yun.

Meron lang ako isang question. Bakit hindi mo ko pinuntahan that night? Nasanay ka bang lagi akong okay sa mga away natin na hinayaan mo nalang ako? Ang lungkot lungkot noon, M. I felt so taken for granted na I have to take myself back.

I’m sorry for leaving you, M. Mahal kita at feeling ko hindi na mawawala yun. I will always look out for you. Siguro kung wala si Ryan noon nung nagtry kang mag reconnect sakin, baka nga nagkabalikan tayo. Akala ko nakalimutan mo na ako noon but you said nag aappear ako sa dreams mo. Gustong gusto kong mag catch up sayo. Gustong gusto kitang kamustahin, sila tita, mga friends mo at kung ano na bang mga bago sayo. Sobrang gusto ko but I don’t know why I didn’t. Again, it must have been the pride. The way you talked to me that time, ganun ka parin. You still think highly of me. Naniniwala ka parin sakin at sa mga kaya kong iachieve and honestly, hindi ko alam kung magkakaroon pa ba ako ng katulad mo sa buhay ko. Minsan namimiss kita lalo pag umiiyak ako sa gabi. Wala akong matawagan. Wala nang makikinig sakin. Kung tulog ka naman na, wala akong mabombard ng messages para lang gumaan pakiramdam ko. Namimiss ko bestfriend ko, M. Ikaw yun dati. We spent 7 years together and ang hirap kalimutan pala nun. Ilang taon na yun pero minsan namimiss parin kita. Naalala ko apologetic ka pa sakin kasi pag nagkkwento ako wala kang reaction. Sabi mo ayaw mong mafeel kong di ka nakikinig. I was over the moon whenever I’m with you. Namimiss kita - yung tayo. Yung isang message mo lang ng ‘Baby.’ alam ko nang magpapaalam ka sakin uminom. Yung magigising ako sa umaga sa mga messages mo, kinukwentuhan mo ko abt your night, sa nangyari sa inuman niyo na parang kasama mo rin ako kasi gusto mo wala akong mamiss na part. Yung walang mintis mong good morning tapos pag wala akong nareceive, panget na morning ko. Namimiss ko yung ganun, M. Yung ganung klaseng relationship. Sometimes, I miss us. Our relationship. Yung support natin sa isa’t isa ;pero we let each other do our thing. Namimiss ko yun. Pwedeng hindi na ako magkaroon ng ganun pa, pwedeng parating palang. Hindi ko alam. Kahit ano man dun, thankful na akong I get to experience that kind of love. :)

M, you’re amazing. Yes, you’ve caused me so much pain yet ikaw rin nagmahal sakin ng sobra. Unimaginable. Thank you. I don’t know if you’re my one that got away. The one na hinayaan kong lumipad palayo sakin. Pero I’m sure na you’re my one great love. Swerte ako na dumating ka sa life ko. You taught me a lot of stuff and pinatibay mo ko. I am who I am right now because of you. Sayang lang na kung kelan I’m free to date anyone, wala na tayo. Naiimagine kita pag kasama ko friends ko. Makakasundo mo sila Rg. Maiiwan kita sakanila. Masasama kita sa inom with dad. Nonstop planning siguro tayo sa mga lugar na gusto nating puntahan. Plano natin yun noon pa. Lagi mo siguro akong kasama sa mga alis niyo ng friends mo esp pag beach yan. Alam ko namang sad ka noon pag di ako nakakasama e. Nakakausap ko parin sila, btw. Si EJ, Mickee, Sid etc. Minsan tinatanong nila ako kung wala na ba talaga and kung may chance pa. Ako parin daw gusto nila for you. Hehe. Ayoko sabihing meron pa kasi baka makarating sayo. Pero honest naman ako sa naging sagot ko na baka pag sakaling magkita tayo at magkakwentuhan ulit, hindi na ako yung Steph na nakilala mo noon. At baka hindi na ako yung Steph na minahal mo noon tapos di mo na ako magustuhan :) if that happens, baka masaktan lang ako kasi naghope ako. Kaya umiwas na ako.

Masaya ako ngayon, M. I have my sad days pero masaya ako sa kung sino ako ngayon. I’m proud of myself and I think you will be too kung alamo lang yung mga nasurvive ko. Haha. Masaya rin ako para sayo. Sa mga naachieve mo. Deserve mo yun dahil alam ko kung gano ikaw kahard working. You're living a dream now. Di na ikaw ung nahihirapan gumalaw kasi wala kang money. So ngayon, goods ka na. I hope. Kung sakali mang magkita pa tayo ulit sana ngitian mo ako. At least alam ko lang na hindi masama loob mo sakin and somehow you still remember na ako ung babaeng nagpasaya sayo for 7 years. I pray na you will be happy with your life choices, deserve mo yun eh. Sana alagaan kang mabuti ng gf mo; more than sa pag aalaga ko sayo. Alagaan mo rin siya nang mabuti more than sa pag alaga mo sakin. Ibigay mo ung mga bagay na gusto mong ibigay sakin noon pero di mo nagawa. Make her happy. Take her to the moon for me, M. Ramdam na ramdam ko ung linyang ‘you built a man for someone else”. Haha. Basta galingan mo okay. Wag mo akong papahiya. At kung dumating yung panahon na lumapit ka sakin and asks for another chance, tignan natin. Hindi ko na isasara yung pinto para sayo. Pero for now, be happy M. Always always believe in yourself. Alam ko na malayo mararating mo. Hindi naman nawala ung tiwala ko sa abilities mo. I will always pray for you and your happiness. I hope you fulfill everything. Bahay, sasakyan at kung ano ano pa. Makukuha mo yan. Wag ka lang magmadali at mastress masyado sa buhay. Dont get easily discouraged. Lumaban ka lang lagi. Wala man na ako para palakasin loob mo at icheer ka pero I will always pray for you. Wag kang papadala sa emotion mo. Maging mabait ka narin kay tita. Siya naman nagpalaki sayo. Wag kang magpaconsume sa galit. I know you have the purest heart, don't let anger consume you. Mahal kita, M.

Maraming maraming salamat at mag iingat ka parati. Nandito lang ako lagi para sayo. :)

- S.T

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trilotechcorp · 7 years

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New Post has been published on PBA-Live

New Post has been published on http://pba-live.com/flop-la-tenorio-insists-he-didnt-overreact-after-hit-from-terrence-romeo/

Flop? LA Tenorio insists he didn't overreact after hit from Terrence Romeo

LA Tenorio insisted he didn’t overreact after Terrence Romeo hit him in the midsection after a box-out play that marred Ginebra’s 96-85 win over GlobalPort in their PBA Commissioner’s Cup quarterfinal matchup on Tuesday night.

The hit caused Tenorio – although belatedly – to fall to the floor in pain, resulting in a heated exchange that ended with Romeo getting called for flagrant foul 2 and thrown out.

“Malakas talaga siya eh,” Tenorio said after the game. “Meron naman siyang…may tama talaga siya. Pinakita ko nga sa buong team eh. Nagulat lang talaga ako na ginawa niya. Of all the people na gagawa nun sa akin, si Terrence pa.”

Tenorio, though, admitted there was a bit of overreaction – but only because of being surprised by what Romeo did.

“Hindi naman nag-overreact. Nagulat kasi ako nung tumama sa gilid ko; malakas naman siya eh. Hindi naman siya mahina lang na I need to…medyo, yeah, may konti (overreaction),” Tenorio said. “Pero nagulat ako. yun lang yung naging reaction ko.”

Aware of the social media chatter about the incident, the 32-year-old playmaker refused to get affected by it as he turned his sights to the Final Four against either TNT Katropa or Meralco.

“I’ve been playing more than ten years in the league. I’ve been in a lot of battles like that. Hindi ko na papatulan yang ganyan,” Tenorio said. “The most important thing now is we’re in the semis. We’re going to focus on the next game.”

“I’m not going to, parang gagawing big deal ‘tong nangyari sa amin,” he added. “Probably yung media, that’s part of it, but I’m not going to…hindi ako magpapaapekto regarding that matter, so kayo na ang bahala dyan.”

Tenorio, who finished with 12 points, eight assists, three boards, and one steal in 31 minutes, insisted he’s not a dirty player, and was simply trying to play hard-nosed defense on Romeo, probably the reason why the Globalport superstar, he felt, reacted the way he did.

“Sinasabi lang niya na I kept on complaining. Puro raw ako reklamo,” Tenorio said. “The whole time, I’m relaxed; I’m just doing my job on defense. Yun lang naman ang kailangan kong gawin. I wasn’t playing that well offensively, but I think defensively, nagawa ko naman ang job ko sa kanila ni Pringle somehow. Wala akong intention to hurt him. Kung nasaktan man siya, hindi ko naman sinasadya yun.”

Tenorio gave his two cents’ worth to his Gilas 4.0 pool teammate.

“Nandun pa rin yung respeto ko sa kanya as a player,” Tenorio said. “He’s an icon; he’s an idol sa basketball. Siguro as a kuya, I think if you’re frustrated, after the game na kayo mag-retaliate or whatever. My advice lang is really as a kuya, nakikinig naman siya sa akin eh.”

“He’s a great player, a very talented player,” he added. “Dapat yung mga ganung bagay kasi, a lot of kids, a lot of people are watching him. He’s one of the faces of the PBA. Dapat ingat din siya sa mga ganung act of dirty…he’s not a dirty player, kaya nagulat kami.” – Spin.ph

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