#meanwhile that little blonde moron (affectionate) is over there again like 'i don't want you in danger' 'i don't want lose you'

[lisbonsteresa]

#tm #thinking several things. none of them coherent. #it's wild that this season starts with her stance pretty much being 'i'm the actual cop here. i can handle the danger. (i'll protect you)' #(and that continues here obviously) and then the season ends w/ (...*part one of the finale has) her in the most danger she's been in so fa #kind of similar to 6.01 where she insists on dealing with red john like any other suspect and then she gets into 'the most danger she's...' #and it's not so much that she's being....punished by the narrative for thinking/dealing with things in that way #(although there are shades of that i guess you could kind of read it that way too) #it's just red john is NOT like any other suspect he's not even like the worst suspects she's dealt with he's just on a different level #also wild that her version of fixing this is at great (professional and personal really) loss to herself #they said 'never forget; lisbon is an eldest sibling (eldest daughter at that) #idk it hurts to see her do it and take the punishment so naturally but i do appreciate that they never let you forget how #that informs her as a character that's great for me personally #meanwhile that little blonde moron (affectionate) is over there again like 'i don't want you in danger' 'i don't want lose you' #he's EXHAUSTING but ON THE OTHER HAND this makes me crazy too because like #he's the civilian here and he KNOWS he's the civilian and the show makes sure YOU know HE knows #he is not a 'stay in the car' [immediately leaves the car to come help in the fight] kind of civilian #(like he IS but not in this way...you get it) #he runs away from fights; he shrinks and cowers when threatened/seeing a weapon; he still gags and uses a hanky at some bodies #like he's just a GUY and he fully embraces that and yet STILL #his first instinct - demonstrated most physically in the s1 finale and....most of s7 but verbally/emotionally throughout #is to protect her; in whatever way he can #and most times that's lying to her; keeping secrets; going off and doing stupid shit; putting himself at risk without telling her anything #but that's ok in his book (....maybe not ok but it's better) #him hurting her is one thing; it's something he might be able to come back from; he can work towards her forgiving him #(even if he does a piss poor job of it sometimes alskdj) #but her getting hurt because of him is not something he can fix; it's something neither of them might come back from #and no matter how strong and capable and smart (and amazing and pretty we get it you're in love with her) he thinks she is #he can't risk her getting hurt....so sometimes he hurts her instead #just kind of....spiraling over them. doing great. clearly.