#meanwhile ppl have subscribed to the latest WIP and i am scared of them leaving when i update and they hate it :(

[nostalgia-tblr]

on one hand i know i don't write popular fic and This Is Fine cos i write things i want to read which is The Important Thing on the other hand some people have more kudos than i have hits and hits-wise if i added up 3-4 most popular i'd just about be at the same number D:

#i have stats off on AO3 but ppl have been giving numbers on twitter and now i feel insecure D: #i always come up with a reason “nobody will like this fic” so if/when it doesn't do well i can just blame that reason #also i KNOW that failing to consistently write a single pairing works against me i should remind myself of this more #the lack of (much) fluff doesn't help either i suppose #anyway back to that point last year when i thought all the sylkis just hated me personally for some reason D: #there's popular fic i wouldn't WANT to write for one reason or another so it's not like i'd be enjoying it much anyway u kno? #also i am sad in general at the moment so everything seems terrible even when it isn't or when it doesn't really matter #comparison is the thief of joy D: #meanwhile ppl have subscribed to the latest WIP and i am scared of them leaving when i update and they hate it :( #why would they hate it? idk they just will. #though partly i think the characters might just be too mean to each other which is a thing i am struggling with for some reason