#maybe that stems from my control issues maybe im just an artist at heart

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

sometimes i like to imagine a future where i write that (y/a or adult targeted) dragon book series i desperately want to, but i know that i wouldn't be able to do it without including art in the book. every time a new important character is introduced the next page would have to be a reference / art of them to Show What They Look Like

#i dont think id be able to handle like. publishing or whatever Without that #maybe that stems from my control issues maybe im just an artist at heart #but i would also need there to be a glossary and a detailed map and maybe footnotes or a basic bestiary- #but then sometimes i wonder if i'd want it to be like... a comic instead #manga style in a way??? i wouldnt color it. it'd be in b&w with only the occasional colored spread or somethin #but all of that If Possible or plausible is a very long way off which is okay its okay #ill get there ill get there #unless something changes and i want to do something Else but its been a goal for many years already #its only recently that ive buckled down on the worldbuilding and character crafting and genuinely considering the plot and themes #its a hot mess! but theres something in there! im determined to find it #its definitely a couple years yet of changing things and switchin stuff around and Thinking.... #who knows if ill ever get there! i hope i will! #but yeah it'd be a book with a bunch of art shoved in it httyd style (kinda) #bc if im gonna Make something im gonna combine my favorite hobbies as best i can #absolutely unprompted #its an exciting but daunting prospect. writing an actual Thing #mostly the plot part of it #i can craft characters i can do worldbuilding #but the plot? oof #there's this other one ive been working on since 8th grade #and its still... barely anything lmao #its for my favorite personal characters - my very first real oc my special boy light of my life but Man. #plot has hands!!! #and then ofc there's my beloved idiot squad... i want to do something for them some day maybe.... #so many ambitions so little energy... i will strive to make future me healthy enough to achieve Something we so desperately want!