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viskovie · 4 years

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Almost Like Family

Chapter I

Chapter II (TW: heavily implied PTSD)

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As the arranged date of his meeting with Harper draws closer, Matt finds himself becoming more and more restless. It doesn’t feel real. It feels like a false deadline; like he’s walking underwater. It’s nagging at the back of his mind. He doesn’t know why. It’s not like he owes Harper anything. Does he? Then he remembers that Harper is probably going to bring up their conversation at the end of the tour and he has to distract himself before he gets that empty feeling in his stomach.

A few days before their reunion (he refuses to even think of it as anything resembling a date) his mom suddenly announces that she’s going to be hosting a lunch for all her writing-club friends. It’ll be on the same day that he’s supposed to be meeting with Harper, but somehow he still gets roped into helping his mom cook. He wonders for a moment if she actually believes that he only worked in the kitchens during his time in Iraq but is immediately corrected when she hauls out her recipe folder. It’s stuffed to bursting with bits and pieces torn from magazines, hastily printed webpages, glossy pamphlets and delicate scraps of paper covered in his grandmother’s shaky handwriting. Matt’s heart sinks.

“Mama, it’s only the five of you…” He says, eyeing the folder apprehensively as his mom rifles through it. She seems to be gearing toward a three-course banquet.

“I know, but this is my chance to one-up Lindsay!” She replies, handing him a cookie recipe and waving him into the kitchen. Matt sighs. His mom and her best friend are fiercely competitive women, and spend much of their time trying to outdo one another in various activities.

“Besides, it’ll take your mind off your hot date tomorrow.” She grins.

“Mom!” Matt chokes. “We’re not- he isn’t- it’s not a date, okay?! We’re just meeting up to- to talk, and... yeah.” He adds carefully, realising too late that he maybe paused in the wrong place. His mom nods sagely, but winks.

“As long as you’re home by morning after your… talk.” She snickers and Matt wants to die, right there in the kitchen. His mom laughs, nudging him out of the way. He goes willingly but she grabs him before he can properly escape.

“Uh uh. You’re helping me cook whether you like it or not.” She cackles, and Matt has no choice but to resign himself to a whole day of being trapped in the kitchen with his imp of a mother.

~~~~~~~

He somehow manages to wake himself up on time the next day, having accidentally fallen into a routine of sleepless nights and late mornings. He doesn’t use his alarm clock anymore. It got switched off, batteries removed, and tucked away in a drawer the day he got home. After the war, he’d figured he deserved to sleep in every day for the rest of his life, and was so far making good on that decision.

He goes through his daily routine, feeling oddly disconnected the whole time, and finally ends up pacing in front of his mirror. Since enlisting, the cargos-and-boots look has grown on him. He doesn’t usually care what people think, but he really doesn’t want Harper to continue to affiliate him with the army, which is stupid because he was there with him and he can’t help it, he’s nervous and he’s meeting up with a guy who knows his dirty secrets, and today might be the day where Matt has to actually tell him to his face how he feels and if it goes wrong it might get ugly and-

He forces himself to take a deep breath. It’s only Harper. He should be relieved, actually. He’s (probably) not going to want to make small talk, and even if he does it’ll be about something relevant to them both. Something that won’t have Matt doing his best to not look bored or irritated. It’s only Harper, he reassures himself again. Nothing to worry about. Yeah right.

He considers asking if he can borrow his mom’s car, but he knows better than anyone that he’s still looking over his shoulder, still ready to fight at a moment’s notice, still operating with a lit fuse. Driving is probably not a good idea. Especially when he’s already antsy. So he catches the bus instead. It’s a fair journey and he spends it alternating between tapping his foot out of rhythm, glancing around at the other passengers (trying to be inconspicuous about it), and checking and re-checking his pockets. I must look like I’m on something, he thinks wryly as he makes accidental eye contact with a middle-aged man a few seats down. The man immediately looks away, but he eyes Matt warily every few minutes. I’m sorry, he wants to say. I’m not fixing to mug you - it’s just that I’ve come back from a fucking war and I can’t seem to adjust to the real world again. It’s not you, it’s me. But he knows he can’t say those things, so he tries not to look in the man’s direction again.

He finally makes his way to the café where he and Harper agreed to meet, grateful to be off the bus. He’s early. Twenty minutes early, actually. The next bus would’ve only left in an hour, and he’d have been rudely late. He picks a table next to the window and near to the door. Unfortunately, that means that everyone who enters walks past him. He can only imagine how shady he looks, flinching every time somebody walks in. By the time Harper arrives, Matt’s already had two coffees in a futile bid to quell his nerves and he’s fidgeting in his seat. Harper gives him a smile and sits opposite him. He opens his mouth but Matt beats him to it.

“Been a while, huh?” He says, unconsciously tapping on the tabletop. Harper nods, taking him in.

“You look agitated.” He replies in his even, measured manner. Matt doesn’t know what to say to that. He is agitated, but he shouldn’t be. So he makes a noncommittal noise, shrugs and looks away. He hears Harper let out a small breath. He jumps embarrassingly hard when the Sergeant touches his fingers.

“It’s okay, y’know.” He says softly, leaning in. Matt shrugs again. He isn’t sure what Harper’s getting at, doesn’t want to push and find out. But he’s itchingly curious at the same time.

“The shakes go away, and you eventually learn to sleep again.” Harper continues. “There’s no shame in looking for help, Ocre. I should know.” It takes Matt a second to realise what he’s talking about. He almost laughs when it clicks. Almost. He’s had two coffees in the space of fifteen minutes, on top of being wired with apprehension. Of course Harper thinks he’s neurotic.

“I’m- uh, I’m okay.” He answers belatedly. “But thanks anyway.” Harper gives him a long, searching look. Matt does his best to meet his gaze, but it’s intense and he can’t hold it for long. Caffeine is a treacherous bitch.

“Good. But if you’re ever not, you can call me, okay?” Harper says, then mercifully changes the subject. Matt manages to stumble through the conversation, but eventually Harper cottons on. He puts his cup down and leans back in his chair. The air between them thickens. Matt’s pulse speeds up even more. He’s probably gonna have a heart attack in a minute. Definitely.

“Come on a date with me, Ocre.” Harper says unexpectedly. Matt hits a wall and goes blank. His heart is hammering like a cartoon woodpecker and he feels lightheaded.

“I- what- a date?” He asks shakily. “Like, a real date or- or just for lunch?”

“It can be for lunch if you want, but I’d rather take you to dinner.” Harper replies smoothly, the corners of his mouth twitching.

“Uh…” Nice, Matt. Real articulate. This guy thinks you’re smart, remember? Harper sighs. He reaches forward, almost-but-not-quite touching his hand again.

“Look, I’ve had weeks to think about this. I don’t know if you were tryna tell me, in Baghdad, that you’re- y’know... yeah.” He continues slowly, carefully picking his words. Maybe he thinks Matt’s gonna bolt if he says it outright. Maybe he’s right. “I’ve toured with a couple of different teams, and it’s normal to think about them every now and then after you come home, but Ocre… I’ve missed you, man.”

Matt doesn’t know how to react. He’s spent the last few days bracing himself for not only rejection, but for the shitstorm that would likely go with it. Because soldiers aren’t gay. Harper seems to understand.

“I get it, y’know. A lotta boys pretty much only enlist because the girls back home throw themselves at a man in uniform, so a guy looking for another guy...” He murmurs, shaking his head. So you can read minds, Matt thinks, just a little sardonically. He looks down at his lap, trying to get his thoughts back together. The caffeine-adrenaline cocktail in his system is probably not helping.

“Ocre…?” Harper prompts gently, and damn if he doesn’t look a little insecure. “D’you wanna go on a date sometime?”

“Yeah.” Matt answers, finally. “Yeah, I’d like that…” He smiles shyly, half to Harper and half to himself. Across the table, Harper lets out a breath. He seems relieved.

“Good. Gimme your address so I can pick you up on... Friday?” He grins. Matt’s own smile broadens as they work out the details. He guesses he got all worked up for nothing. The adrenaline is starting to dissipate. Another coffee is in order, it seems.

#Sand Castle #sand castle 2017 #matt ocre #james harper #chapter two yeeeeeew

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pinkandgreenlivingthedream · 7 years

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Hey there! Just wondering what you plan on buying from the Sephora sale that's currently happening or what you'd recommend checking out

Hey! I LOVE the Sephora sale- and I actually got two Sephora gift cards this weekend for my bday, so I am very excited to shop!

For me personally, the sale is kind of a time for me to restock on products I love & am always out of + pick up some of those pricy skin care products.

Here are things in my cart right now (I am definitely going to narrow it down to my gift card amount, but I am still deciding/reading reviews/etc.)-

Laura Mercier oil-free Tinted Moisturizer in ‘ocre’: I usually go through 2 of these a year, but they are 100% worth the money. I am just about out of my current bottle, so I really need to stock up! I LOVE this tinted moisturizer- especially for everyday wear.

Beauty blender: When I first heard about the beauty blender sponge from one of my college friends 3 years ago, I thought it was the silliest thing to spend that much on a SPONGE. But now I can’t imagine life without it lol. My sister and mom both use it now, and I definitely need to repurchase another one since it has been several years & mine is falling apart. If you don’t own a beauty blender yet, definitely, definitely consider making the investment!

Glamglow glow setter: I have seen this so many times on youtube, and I’ve been dying to try it out. I currently use the Urban Decay ‘all nighter’ spray, but I am almost out! Plus- I am a sucker for cute packaging.

Ole Henriksen Pure Truth Vitamin C Youth Activating Oil: Ole Henriksen is probably my very favorite skincare brand at Sephora. It’s in a pretty moderate price range, and it works really well for my skin personally. I am almost out of my current bottle of the Youth Activating Oil, and I really love it! It’s on the heavier side, but it smells really nice and I feel like it really works. It makes my skin very radiant and hydrated, and I mostly use it around the areas of my face like my eyes, cheeks, and forehead (that I use anti-aging products on). I also love the Ole Henriksen ‘truth serum’, but I currently have a full bottle of that.

Herbivore Moon Fruit Superfruit Night Treatment: So I have this in my cart at the moment, and I really want it! However, it’s very pricy, so I am still reading reviews and deciding!

Here are some products on my ‘wish-list’, but won’t be purchasing (because the other products above are higher on my list at the moment)-

Too Faced Sweet Peach palette

Boscia Swirl Two-Part Gel & Cream Deep Hydration

Stila Magnificent Metals Glitter

Brazilian Bum Bum Cream (I’ve heard it smells amazing!)

Nars creamy concealer

Here are some other Sephora products that I personally use and would highly recommend-

Benefit box blushes/bronzers: I love the benefit blushes, and I am currently using the new color ‘Galifornia’. I am obsessed with it, and all of their box blushes are amazing (and so cute). I have repurchased Coralista and Hoola bronzer probably 5+ times over the years. I adore both and couldn’t recommend them enough.

ABH Modern Renaissance palette: This palette is one of the very highest rated products on Sephora and for good reason. I purchased mine last semester and still use it daily. I LOVE it, and I would highly, highly recommend it if you are looking for a great eyeshadow product that is perfect for everyday wear, but isn’t boring.

Becca highlighter: I am in love with my Becca highlighter in ‘Champagne Pop’. I’ve hit pan on it, and it’s such a stunning highlight shade. I would definitely recommend it!

Kat Von D Liquid Lipsticks: I own two of these now, and I would definitely recommend them if you love liquid lipsticks. I recently bought the shade ‘lovesick’, and I think it’s soooo pretty for spring.

Urban Decay Moondust shadows: These are so unique & beautiful. I collect them! My favorite is Solstice (it’s also my sister’s fave too).

Tarte Rainforest of the Sea Lipstick: I purchased this lipstick a few weeks ago, and the formula is great. It’s not drying/matte, but it’s also not super shiny and glossy. It’s moisturizing and flattering on the lips. I purchased the shade ‘Beach Babe’, and it’s the perfect nude for me. Plus- the packaging is stunning!! I love all the color options!

Too Face Born This Way Foundation: I have been through maybe 6 bottles of this foundation. I know not everybody loves this foundation, but it works really well for me & I use it for special events/going out. It’s high coverage, but not too high coverage or unnatural. I also find their shade range works well for me.

ABH x Nicole Guerriero Glow Kit: I have been using the heck out of this glow kit this past month. I get compliments every single time I wear it. It is sold out online, but definitely check Sephora stores; it is so worth the money and it’s my favorite beauty product at the moment.

DryBar: dry bar is my favorite hair brand. I LOVE the blowdrier and would highly recommend it. I recently bought the Mai Tai hair product, and it’s really nice for getting those beachy waves! Drybar makes the best hair products and tools!

Bobbi Brown Shimmer Brick: I have probably purchased 2-3 of these over the years, but I love them. I got my sister one for Christmas, and she loves hers! They are pricy, but super beautiful on the skin. I like that they are so quick to use- a highlighter and blush in one!

Milk Holographic Highlighter: I have been using this a ton lately. It’s definitely not for everyone, but I like it to layer under other highlighters. It’s very, very unique!

For me personally, I try to shop drugstore when I can- especially for thing like false lashes, setting powder, face cleanser, mascara, shampoo/conditioner, eyeliner, and brows. However, at Sephora, I like to splurge a bit more on skincare products/treatments, foundations/bases, highlighters/blushes, and eyeshadow palettes!

I hope that could help! I LOVE Sephora & the sale!!

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chaaicoffee · 5 years

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Sand Castle | Netflix Original | Review

Sand Castle is a Beautiful Dream and Imagination of young kids and young couples to have one.

Sand Castle, A Netflix Original movie is a generic story like many we had seen in the past around the Iran war, American soldiers, nonsupporting locals and soldiers efforts to bring back democracy.

Sand Castle starts with Pvt. Matt Ocre (Nicholas Hoult), a young civil affairs soldier with the Army…

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#american troops #british #iraq war #netflix

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noirelemag-blog · 6 years

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Raphaelle M.

Page de l’artiste : https://www.facebook.com/RaphaelleM.creations/

"Bonjour Raphaëlle et merci de répondre à ces quelques questions. Est-ce que vous pourriez vous présenter en quelques mots ?

>> Tout d'abord, merci à vous pour cette interview ! J'ai 23 ans et je vis en région parisienne où je travaille en tant que graphiste webdesigner dans une agence web. En paralèlle de ce métier de création qui me passionne, ma route est parsemée de projets artistiques. Je pratique la photographie depuis un peu plus d'un an maintenant et cette activité prend une place grandissante dans ma vie, entre études personnelles et collaborations diverses. Je pratique également le digital art, nom qui cache entre autre le digital painting (peinture numérique réalisée à l'aide d'une tablette graphique), le photomontage ou matte painting. Dans un autre registre créatif, je suis claviériste dans un groupe de folk métal du nom de NightCreepers, pour lequel je réalise également les supports visuels (artworks, site web, photos promotionnelles, etc). Autrement dit, l'art et la création composent ma vie.

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Pouvez-vous nous expliquer votre parcours ? Qu'est-ce qui vous a attirée dans les domaines artistiques que vous pratiquez actuellement ?

>> La création et les arts ont toujours eu une place importante dans ma vie, et tout a commencé par l'illustration. Enfant, je partais des heures en forêt avec mon petit carnet de feuilles blanches, mes pinceaux et ma peinture pour donner vie aux fruits de mon imagination. Plus tard et avec l'acquisition d'un ordinateur, je tatônnais sur Photoshop et je m'essayais très vite aux photomontages, puis à la création de logos, notamment pour des groupes de musique. Jusqu'au jour où je découvrais l'existance d'une formation qui me permettrait de me professionnaliser en graphisme et multimédia, alors que j'errais dans un parcours scolaire scientifique, entre médecine et biologie. Le déclic fut intense et immédiat, et ces études m'ont menées au métier que j'exerce et que j'aime aujourd'hui. Pour autant, si le graphisme offre un aspect créatif évident, il est aussi semé de contraintes, entre les attentes d'un client, les timings serrés et les besoins des utilisateurs à privilégier. Il m'est vite devenu vital de pouvoir me défaire de ces contraintes en mettant en place des projets en parallèle. Et ils sont nombreux ! Les différents domaines artistiques dans lesquels je m'épanouis m'offrent chacun une expérience unique. Ils se complètent, rythment mon quotidien, et occupent mon esprit la plupart du temps.

Quant à la photographie, que j'exerçais en premier lieu à l'occasion de voyages, elle s'est révélée un jour à moi comme une évidence, une pratique je devais dompter. Mon appareil photo m'accompagne très souvent au quotidien et même lorsque je ne l'ai pas, mon oeil analyse ce qui m'entoure et j'imagine alors comment composer avec ce que je vois. Le digital art m'offre une grande liberté de création : partir de rien et créer trait par trait des ambiances et univers qui germent dans mon imagination. La musique, quant à elle, m'est chère car elle me permet d'entremêler différents domaines. Entre la pratique de l'instrument et l'élaboration d'artworks, de photos, de graphismes divers, ce sont autant de moyens pour créer un monde unique au travers de plusieurs créations qui se complètent.

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J'ai l'impression qu'aujourd'hui, de plus en plus de jeunes se lancent dans la photographie. Que pensez-vous de tout cet engouement pour cet art ?

>> Il est vrai que l'on voit surgir beaucoup de nouveaux photographes ces derniers temps, dont je fais parti d'ailleurs ! La photographie est un art qui prend vie grâce à des sujets réels, à l'existant, et de ce fait, il permet d'obtenir un rendu artistique plus rapidement qu'un peintre face à une toile vierge. Elle peut être traitée, conçue, réalisée de bien des façons et cette diversité est très séduisante et donne envie de s'y essayer. Cet engouement a aussi une facette économique : l'accès aux réflex numériques s'est banalisé, les prix des boitiers entrée de gamme ont chuté et ont permi à beaucoup de s'équiper peu à peu. Pour autant, le matériel ne fait pas le photographe, et le lien "avoir un reflex" et "être photographe" est parfois un peu trop vite tissé.

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Quelles sont vos sources d'inspiration ? Que ce soit au quotidien, ou des artistes fétiches...

>> La nature m'inspire très intensément. Depuis toute petite, j'ai une fascination croissante pour les grands espaces, le monde sauvage, cette vie qui se développe loin de la main destructrice de l'Homme, grandiose, immense et forte. L'hiver est une saison que j'affectionne particulièrement car elle donne à la nature une intimité et une timidité dans lesquelles je me retrouve. Je suis d'ailleurs née le 21 décembre, jour de l'hiver, et j'aime à croire que ce n'est pas un hasard. J'essaye au possible de transmettre cette admiration pour la nature au travers de mes créations, pour lui rendre comme un hommage. Quelques voyages m'ont permi de m'imprégner de lieux de nature uniques, notamment au Yosemite en Californie.

Quelques artistes dont j'admire le travail sont également une source d'inspiration et ils m'invitent sans le savoir à me surpasser dans les projets que j'entreprends. Parmi eux, il y a Alexandre Deschaumes, photographe dont l'approche et la vision de la nature me sont comme familières ; Mathieu Le Lay, vidéaste et réalisateur qui porte sur la nature un regard si intense et intime à la fois ; Kekai Kotaki, illustrateur de mondes fantastiques et créatures imaginaires. Je suis également très sensible à la peinture préraphaélite (une coïncidence avec mon prénom peut-être ? *sourire*), au réalisme et surréalisme, aux légendes et mythologies diverses. Aussi, je travaille toujours en musique et certains compositeurs rythment mes élans créatifs, comme Jari Maënpää (Wintersun), Bill Brown ou encore Hans Zimmer, sans parler des compositions de Vincent Moretto pour NightCreepers et de ses projets solo.

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Vos créations sont toujours très marquées par une certaine douceur, et je pense d'ailleurs que c'est un de vos atouts pour qu'elles soient si réussies. Est-ce volontaire ?

>> De manière générale, j'aime en effet qu'il se dégage quelque chose de doux au travers de mes créations, comme si elles se révélaient être un arrêt sur image dans un rêve. De plus, j'aime travailler avec les tons chauds, entre les rouges et les ocres, ce qui doit indéniablement contribuer à renforcer cette atmosphère. Cela pourrait aussi s'expliquer par le fait que j'aime mettre en scène des femmes au travers de mes photos, et ainsi mettre en valeur grace et féminité. Ma démarche serait sûrement différente si je venais à photographier un homme, chose qui est pour l'instant assez rare. Aussi, lorsqu'il s'agit de photographier un paysage, j'aime retranscrire la force des éléments au travers de l'intensité d'un ciel ombrageux et menaçant par exemple. En finalité, tout dépendra du sujet et du message que je souhaite transmettre et j'essaye de ne pas m'enfermer dans une ambiance qui pourrait devenir trop monotone.

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Entre la musique et les arts visuels divers que vous pratiquez, on dirait que vous êtes une artiste assez diversifiée et motivée par la création. Si vous deviez tout laisser tomber pour ne vous investir plus que dans un seul domaine jusqu'à la fin de votre de vie, lequel choisiriez-vous ?

>> Comme évoqué précédemment, chaque domaine artistique dans lequel j'évolue m'apporte une expérience unique. De ce fait, il me serait terriblement difficile de devoir en laisser un de côté ! Mais s'il me fallait vraiment choisir, je pense que je continuerais dans ma lancée en digital painting. La liberté qu'offre cette pratique est sans limite si ce n'est celle de l'imagination (et celle d'avoir un ordinateur sous la main !).

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Avez-vous des projets spécifiques pour le futur ?"

>> Le premier serait de donner vie à mon futur site web, afin qu'il puisse présenter dignement mes travaux et réflexions. J'aimerai également étoffer l'univers fantastique que nous créons avec NightCreepers en illustrant des scènes évoquées notamment dans les paroles et concevoir peut être une sorte d'artbook qui conterait nos musiques en image. L'alliance de la photographie et du photomontage est une perspective qui m'attire également : pouvoir apporter une dimension surréaliste, fantastique et irréelle au travers de mes photos, pour aller au delà des conventions. Il ya bien d'autres projets qui se percutent dans mon esprit, le plus compliqué reste en finalité de trouver le temps de tout concilier !

#photographie interview raphaellem rencontre nature noire

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