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#maru and penny r in love change my mind U CAN’T
madlysage · 2 months
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my stardew valley bachelorette headcanons… again super niche and definitely just me being insufferable
leah
- grew up in the south and still has a little twang when she speaks
- loves fleetwood mac and all 70s rock
- tried to make her own wine and elliott made harvey give her a stern lecture on botulism
- a serial dater with a string of bad ex-boyfriends in her wake (she was just a lesbian all along but that wasn’t accepted where she was growing up)
- a baby gay who still gets flustered when flirting with girls
- befriended the hat mouse and is still trying to convince elliott that he’s real
- dyes her hair but insists she’s a natural redhead (her mom was one and she always wanted to emulate her)
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i always picture kennedy walsh (icon that she is)
haley
- the closet is glass babe (lesbian/possibly pan)
- wanted to go to college for photography and studio art but was worried it would put financial strain on emily
- secret little crush on leah because she loves her art and her artistic eye
- her and emily were raised by a single dad who passed away unexpectedly- it’s part of the reason she has a hard time opening up to ppl
- left anonymous mean notes about clint on the town message board for WEEKS after she found out he was hitting on emily
- uses her dad’s camera: it’s very sentimental to her
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perf- would def be into clean girl makeup
emily
- nobody is quite sure about emily’s sexuality… including emily!
- very into spirituality- crystals, spirits, astrology, luck etc.
- makes alex uncomfortable anytime he comes over: she doesn’t realize she’s starting contentious political debates with him
- makes all her own clothes and hasn’t bought anything new in 3 years
- writes sweet notes to shane on the bar napkins when she can see he’s rlly going through it
- wears crystals in her bras
- stole haley’s diamond earrings for a gem mediation (it did not go over well)
- makes elliott quills with her parrot’s dropped feathers
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but picture the hair blue ya know: don’t cast elle fanning as a character in a fandom challenge level impossible bro
penny
- bicon
- my image of penny is Filipino… stardew needs more diversity gonna be so real
- went to college for education and got her teaching license but had to move back home because of the debt
- learned how to do maru’s hair after she complained about how long it took
- watches old movies with maru every weekend and they do a book swap once a month
- sam is the only one who will eat her cooking (but he’ll eat anything… especially if penny made it)
- lets maru come in and give guest teaching sessions in science and math to jas and vincent
-started drinking coffee just to have an excuse to drop some off to maru and harvey at work
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likeeeee beabadoobee just makes the perf penny i can’t explain it’s the vibe
maru
- lesbian queen
- my autistic love
- graduated highschool early: got a full ride to school and double majored in nursing and engineering before going to nursing school (graduated early from that too ofc)
- lives off of coffee and gets a daily lecture on caffeine consumption from harvey
- is harvey’s wingman (neither of them have any rizz…)
- goes to the bar just to quiz emily on astrology
- sets up ferris beuller type traps when she wants to sneak out and not deal with demetrius
-used to sneak into sebastian’s room during thunderstorms and still does sometimes
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laura harrier my love my light… just picture her with glasses
abigail
- straight but likes to makeout with girls when she’s drunk
- goes to college online (majoring in business for pierre but double minoring in classics and anthropology) - her parents wouldn’t let her go in person because she’s too “reckless”
- brought home a squirrel once and hid it in her room for weeks
-used to do competitive irish dance as a kid (seems like something caroline would make her do)
- has a huge crush on sam and will flirt with sebastian to make him jealous
- pierced her own ears six times at once and made caroline faint when she saw her
- has a tattoo on her thigh that’s she’s desperately hiding from her parents
-helped emily dye her hair for the first time
- hooked up with alex once but will never admit it
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can’t explain it she just gives kiernan - with purple hair ofc
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