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#mainly had to do with deprogramming and just. unlearning a bunch of self beliefs (i at least was sorta aware of it but its hard even then)
diluc33rpm
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1 year
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2/2 Do you crave approval and/or praise?
yeah? what do you mean you don’t like tumpet ? 🎺bwaaa?
#the... normal amount i’d guess
#i used to certainly
#but i think that’s disappeared as a ‘craving’ in that sense and is a lot more of a mundane form of occasionally seeking reassurance
#i get nervous about it sometimes but i’ve been beginning to accept that it’s ok to want to feel out differences in perspectives with others
#so that’s fine
#also helps a lot with feeling motivated about creative work and other kinds of pursuits
#note on that though i am talking about PEER approval the first step in even getting here was being ok approving of myself first
#mainly had to do with deprogramming and just. unlearning a bunch of self beliefs (i at least was sorta aware of it but its hard even then)
#but once you have that particular baseline of respect for yourself as a person imo you don’t really crave anything so much?
#there’s no subsisting off of other people inasmuch as conducting a relationship with them because you’re not trying to replace a lack of it
#relating to others in a healthy way very much is about genuinely believing yourself and trusting your own pov first
#before you can get to the rest. hell of a climb if you’ve spent any part of your life mostly hearing critical gaslighting or indifference
#but in my experience at least it’s a lot of burden off both yourself and the people you care for once you finally make it there
#gonna have a hard time constructing anything more if youre not standing on solid ground first (..& hopefully not somewhere prone to floods)
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