#macaroni penguins are sassy looking bastards go look it up

[pastafossa]

Matt keeps a straigh face while handing Jane an actual rock in front of Foggy who is having a MELTDOWN bc he does this in front of a zoos penguin exhibit

Ok so in between my project (*shakes fist*) this idea was giving me LIFE. Because it is ABSOLUTELY in character for Matt being a sassy little shit, and like OH MY GOD, he would.

You all had just passed the seal exhibit when Matt started to grin. And not the good grin—no. This was the bad grin: a Danger Level 7 on the Matt Shenanigans scale, of which Foggy kept meticulous record. Daredevil-based antics generally categorized as a 9 or a 10, while the pig that Matt had somehow smuggled into the dorm back in college rated about an 8. And to think, he'd claimed he thought it was a dog. Foggy had sensed the stench of bullshit even then, but there'd been no evidence to prove otherwise.

Now he knew better.

You were still a little behind Matt and Foggy, caught up watching the admittedly-adorable harbor seals splash and swim around but you quickly moved on, meandering towards Foggy and Matt. Matt suddenly pulled away from Foggy, and that's when he knew the devious bastard was up to something. The few other zoo guests passing by shifted wider, giving Matt a surprisingly polite amount of space as he tapped his cane. And just like that he put on his best 'innocent, no-super-senses blind man' face—the one with the puppy dog eyes you could feel behind the glasses, the mouth tilted just so, not a smirk or a smile to be found. Foggy narrowed his eyes.

Matt called you over as Foggy hissed out a quiet, "What are you up to, Murdock?!"

Matt shifted his stance a little, the glass of the exhibit now at his back. Foggy still hadn't quite figured out what was in the enclosure but there was a lot of water. Once you were close enough to hear him, Matt reached into his pocket. "I just remembered. I almost tripped on this earlier," he told you, borderline angelic, as if he wasn't in fact a metric ton of audacity in human form. "Too much noise, threw me off. I picked it up but I'm still not quite sure what it is. I just know I didn't want it out where anyone could step on it."

Je-sus, the good Samaritan ploy. Foggy rolled his eyes, muttering a prayer to the heavens. Matt's hand had closed entirely around whatever object it was that he passed to you, scarred knuckles and callused fingers blocking Foggy's view. You carefully took it, your head dropping as you glanced down at it. As you did, Matt lifted his head and directed a quick smirk in Foggy's direction. Behind him, briefly glimpsed through glass and cold water, a black and white shape swooped by.

Holy shit, he wouldn't!

No, no. Not even Matt was this ballsy, this blatant, and Foggy nodded to himself, lifting his giraffe cup to drink from.

"Wow," you murmured, turning whatever it was over in your hand. "I mean, it's a rock, but it's really pretty. Where did you say you found this?"

Foggy spat back into the giraffe's plastic face, choking and coughing. He waved off the passersby who'd paused even as he continued to hack, because holy shit—

"Found it up towards the front," Matt said innocently, which he absolutely was not, not one bit, the bastard—

"Some kid probably dropped it after picking it up in the gift shop. God, it's pretty." You let out a quiet hum, still seemingly entranced by the stone in your hands. Foggy took a step to the right, just enough to get a glance at the rock. And then he had to turn away, wheezing in disbelief because how did Matt pick a red geode?!

"Nothing we can do about it now, kid's probably long gone," you said thoughtfully, and Foggy whirled back around, not willing to miss even a second despite himself.

"You're probably right," Matt said, as another penguin drifted by. This one paused, however, posing behind Matt. Aaand now even the penguin was staring at Foggy mockingly, those fucking macaroni penguins with their sarcastic, dastardly eyebrows.

You tried to hand the rock back, but then Matt shook his head, throwing you a warm smile. "I can't really appreciate it as much as you since I can't see it. Why don't you keep it?"

Foggy made a strangled noise, choking on air as he swallowed down a shriek and oh god, this was it, this was how he died, because Matt Murdock was literally giving you a devilishly-red rock in front of the fucking penguin exhibit. You tentatively drew your hand back, staring down at the stone and turning it over in your hands, and how could you not know?!

And there was a moment, a moment, as your head lifted and you caught sight of the penguin swimming by, that Foggy thought, Aha! Yes, you've got it! You'd realize, wouldn't you? You had to, and then-then Foggy wouldn't be alone seeing the sheer shamelessness in Matt offering you an actual rock in front of penguins when penguins courted with rocks, right?! You tilted your head, eyes flicking between Matt and the penguins as you considered them both. "Do you know where we are right now?" you asked slowly.

Matt shrugged, giving you a baffled look. "The... grizzly exhibit hit me a little hard, and there's a lot of noise. I can smell water at least. Are we near the seals?"

No, no, Foggy did not buy that for a goddamned second, but apparently you did because you gave a little snort and shoved the geode into your pocket before holding out an arm to Matt. He gently took hold and then his face turned towards Foggy over your head, and his smirk turned absolutely shit-eating.

"Fuck you, Murdock!" Foggy whispered as emphatically as he could, resisting the urge to flip Matt off when there were children present. "You insane, rock-gifting, hellspawn of a penguin!"

"Language, sir!"

"Sorry, ma'am."

#Matt Murdock x Reader #Daredevil x Reader #Foggy Nelson #Matt Murdock #Daredevil #Ask fic #Ask prompt #continuation of penguin-based shenanigans #Matt Murdock's audacity #the NERVE #not only did he give a rock #he gave you a RED ROCK #*cue Foggy screaming* #Matt absolutely knowing how to use the sad innocent puppy face #for sheer evil #macaroni penguins are sassy looking bastards go look it up #the red thread