#lord pray for my pussy bc oh my god

[buckyhoney]

this man im talking too has an accent AND a daddy kink 😵‍💫

#lord pray for my pussy bc oh my god

[lacybunie]

adieu, mon dieu!

“forgive me, father, for i have committed the biggest sin of all!”

pairing: afab!reader x re4r!leon

warnings: smut, virginity loss, blasphemy, dub-con, inexperienced/pure reader, religious reader, manipulation, cum eating, creampie, pussy slapping, pet names, breeding kink, slight choking, crying during sex, age gap mention (reader is 19 while leon is 27), fingering, porn with plot (?), bit of ooc leon

note: first time writing hence why it’s so long :3 also wrote this based on leon saying “i’ll give you a holy body” in re4r bc nobody freaks out over it like i do

“holy mary, mother of god, pray for us sinners.” the prayer is muscle memory. a smile adorns your face as you walk out of sunday mass with your family. oh how you cherish the time spent in god’s temple. you would not have it any other way. this small, quiet town in washington homes jesus freaks like yourself. where every summer, all children through teens spend their time at church camp. cross necklaces or rosaries are worn around the necks of bypassers and neighbors. you feel as though you are blessed with such a life.

so when leon appears in your life, you think you’re the most blessed girl alive. as the two of you go steady, he starts attending church with you and listens to the word of the lord with you in his black jeep. he listens to your prayers and readings of the bible. leon couldn’t be anymore perfect. “our heavenly father has blessed me with a man who loves me.” pink hues flush your cheeks as you smile giddishly during confession. “do not let temptation fool you.” the priest on the other side taunts, almost as if it’s a warning.

the people of the church disagree with the relationship you have with leon, the eight year gap between you two. more so, they dislike leon. they tell you he is not a man of the lord, he is a walking sin. they share their stories of glancing at him during mass and how he’s appearing to hold back laughter, how he doesn’t actually consume the blood and body of christ, how his eyes are filled with something evil. you choose to not believe them as they don’t know leon as you do. “he is nothing like that, sister olivia.” you defend during sunday lunch, biting your tongue. “you have found the devil in a lover.” sister olivia spews with disgust.

her words are a distraction during your date, echoing and bleeding into the grooves of your brain. “sweetheart?” leon calls as he catches your zoned out state. your eyes connect with his, you break yourself out of thought. “i’m sorry, i was just lost in thought.” you apologize, gleaming with a shy smile. the warmth of leon’s hand engulfs yours across the table, the cold silver of your ring turning hot. “i was asking if you would want to go back to my place after this?” leon repeats what you had muffled seconds ago.

“i’ll have to ask my dad first.” you embarrassingly respond as pinks heat your cheeks. there’s limited privacy with leon, daytime stays at his home with an hour max limit and once every two weeks only. your father implemented this as a way to keep a better piece of mind. “c’mon sweetheart, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” leon persuades with sugar on his tongue. the veil of orange from the candles illuminating the table is covering his face, you might just burst from the ethereal beauty he holds. he’s saying something color-coded yet it’s muffled as the tidal wave of his eyes are drowning you. “okay.” you mindlessly respond, leon faintly smirks.

the little skirt you wear is almost halfway off while you and leon makeout on his couch, something you shamelessly leave out during confessions. you keep your hands on his broad shoulders while he dangerously lingers his hands at your hips and thighs. you think you’re seeping through your panties as you feel a wet patch forming, making you feel bothered. “i feel weird.” you pant between a kiss, lungs aflame from the little oxygen you grant yourself. leon pulls away with furrowing eyebrows, “did i do something wrong?”

yet you’re struggling to understand what IS wrong. why do you feel so…wet down there? maybe you started your period but you realize it ended a week ago. leon’s eyes are burning into your skin, the gaze causing you to feel mortified. how can you tell him this? what if he thinks you’re weird? his girlfriend is wetting herself like a damn fool for no reason. “what is it?” that soft tone of his makes you feel even worse. embarrassment is starting to creep itself into the flesh of your body.

“i feel wet.” you say it so clearly and slowly as if you’re dumbing it down for yourself. you don’t know why you feel like this and you don’t know why it’s happening. leon smiles at the frustration you show, clearly not thinking of your situation weirdly. “that’s a good thing, doll.” he coos while holding your hands. head tilting and ditzy eyes searching for an answer, you are clueless by how this is a good thing. “what do you mean, leon?” “you’re turned on, that’s what i mean.” the blood pumping into your heart turns cold at the realization of what you have let yourself done. one of the deadliest sins of all: lust

how can you let yourself get carried away and almost give into something sacred? something you promised to your heavenly father that you will wait till marriage to do? you clutch the rosary wrapped around your neck, “please forgive me. i’m sorry, leon.” you think leon must be feeling the same way too, realizing you both almost gave into sin. oh how awful he must feel, to almost have betrayed the lord and gave into temptation. leon searches your face in hopes to find something you’re not sure of. “why are you apologizing?” he questions, hands no longer embracing your own.

“for getting you caught up in almost sinning.” “it’s not a bad thing to be turned on.” his voice is laced with something unfamiliar, a tone you’re not even aware of. “but it can lead to having sex and we’re not-” “there’s nothing bad about having sex either.” leon interrupts with annoyance. you can’t fathom how he thinks premature sex is not bad, he’s read the bible with you countless times. the purity ring wrapped around your finger symbolizes the commitment you vowed to and he’s reminded every time he holds your hand. “we can’t have sex, leon. you know that.”

“do you not love me?” leon is frowning at you, taking you aback with his words. “i love you, leon. of course i do.” you profusely confess as you get closer to him. the weight of your chest growing heavy while he shakes his head. “you’re supposed to have sex with the one you love right? then why don’t you? if you love me enough, then it’s not sin.” leon preaches with eyes glimmering with something indescribable. “we won’t have sex, we’ll be making love. that’s different. the lord doesn’t view it as sin.”

different strokes of blue are piercing into your soul, almost like his eyes are trapping you. your mind is foggy as you try to think of something to say. “i don’t think...” you trail off with unsure certainty, but what you want to actually say becomes lost in thought as leon’s cherry-bruised lips pull apart in a smile. you think he’s right, it’s something you probably skimmed over. cold hands caress your bare thighs, leon’s lips kiss the skin below your jaw. “you know i’m right, doll.” he mutters while his teeth lightly nip your skin, you grow hot. “i would never lie to such a pretty angel.”

“i’ll make you feel so good.” leon promises with his hands scrunching up your skirt. the sudden action causing your heart to burst within itself. your dry mouth defeats the words wanting to escape, to tell him to not touch there. you’re also battling the urge to let yourself do so as his hands grasp your inner thigh, sending a rush throughout your body. doe eyes noticing the way leon is looking at you as if you’re a sheep, tethered in his sharp teeth, bracing to become a meal.

two fingers rub you over your panties, the new feeling quickly has you inhale sharply. butterflies flutter around in your abdomen. leon hums as his fingers gather your essence that is leaking through the fabric. “there you are, pretty.” leon lays you further down on the couch. his lips kiss you again roughly and you grip at his bicep as his hands quickly discard your skirt. leon impatiently pulls away from your lips to look at the newly found view, lilac panties adorned with a baby blue ribbon. leon’s favorite color.

the wetness from earlier feels as if it’s completely soaking the fabric. you feel utterly exposed like this, so vulnerable in front of leon. “you’re so fucking sexy.” he sighs out once he finally removes the one thing keeping him away from your forbidden fruit. “please leon.” you’re unsure if you’re begging or pleading. the temperature of your body is uncomfortably hot and you’re sure it’s because your soul is already spiraling down to hell. you want to stop leon from inserting his finger into your sopping cunt, but of course you don’t.

“have you ever touched yourself, doll?” leon asks, while fingering you agonizingly slow. you crave for more, not exactly sure of what. you need more of him. you’re heaving at this point, staring into leon’s eyes as he watches you unfold before him, a flower blooming almost too late. “i’m not supposed to.” you choke out the answer while he begins to messily rub your clit. the smirk resting on leon’s lips is haunting you, why does he always look so desirable with that stupid smirk?

“says who? your god?” leon pushes a second finger into your sopping hole, an uncomfortable stretch soon followed by an indescribable pleasure. the erotic sounds of your cunt being touched for the first time reach your hot pink ears. leon curls his fingers against your spongey walls causing you to squirm. the imaginary coil in your lower stomach feels like it’s on the brink of snapping.

“yes.” you moan while he lightly slaps your cunt. “what kind of god deprives his children of a pleasure such as this? don’t you feel good, angel? i know your pussy sure does.” leon smiles at your reaction for his choice of words, you forget how blunt he tends to be. “d-don’t say that.” “your god can’t be all that great if he won’t even let me feel how your pussy squeezes around my fingers.” the blasphemy hits you like a gunshot only temporarily, the pleasure you’re receiving rids it right away.

you’re shaking your head but you don’t know if it’s from the frustration of leon speaking against the lord or if you’re about to reach sweet relief. “leon.” you hiccup, the pleasure becoming too much and your mind is turning into mush. a tight grip on leon’s bicep has him chuckling, looking down at you so pathetically. “you look so fucking stupid. go ahead and cum for me, pretty.” he grants while your cunt is squeezing so tightly around his digits.

back arching off the couch along with the most pornographic moan to ever come out of your chest, the coil snaps. waves of ecstasy crashes within your body, releasing out of your sopping hole. your thighs are shaking to snap close but leon doesn’t let it happen as he gathers your essence up with his fingers. “god, you’re just so fucking perfect.” leon grunts before sticking his own fingers in his mouth, the honey he has been craving falls onto his tongue. you feel yourself get dizzy at the sight.

leon reaches down to give you a messy kiss, tasting your cum on his tongue. “wanna fuck you.” he moans into your mouth, his jeans rub against your cunt and you’re sure your cum smeared onto the denim. you want to stop right here, you want to run straight to church and plead for your life in the confessional booth. however, when leon pulls away to strip off his pants and his fat, long cock hits his abdomen, you feel that indescribable want grow stronger.

your breathing becomes heavy as leon rubs the tip of his cock at your entrance. his cock looks too big for you, fearing he’ll split you open. the taste of bitter metallic hits your tongue and you realize you’re biting your bottom lip too hard. “i’m so lucky.” leon grunts, dragging his thumb across your bleeding lip. “get to be the first to fuck this virgin pussy.” he barely pushes the tip into your tight cunt when you start crying. the pain of slight tearing mixed with the eternal damnation you’re going to face is cutting at your skin. “please.” your vision is blurry through the tears when leon pushes his cock fully into you, you can hear him let out a deep groan.

the way leon’s cock feels inside of you makes you feel so full. the pain of being ripped open for the first time is soon subsided by a mind clouded with desire, yet you’re still crying. leon moves in and out slowly but roughly, hitting a spot within you just right. you moan wearily, salty tears trickling down into your agape mouth. when leon begins to thrust a bit more hard, you’re sobbing out loud moans. leon presses his hand against your throat, “so fucking loud.” he’s snapping his hips into you, his cock bruising the inside of your cunt so sweetly that you feel the coil about to snap again.

“need to shut that mouth of yours next time.” leon grunts, looking at you in a haze. he squeezes your throat as if to test the waters and you choke out a needy moan, your cunt almost suffocating his cock at the action. “such a nasty girl.” leon smirks while picking up the pace of the abuse on your cunt. baby pink nails are scratching at leon’s biceps. you slur out an apology, clearly not in the right headspace to realize that leon is toying with the rosary tangled in your neck. “oh my-” you cut yourself off when leon’s cock repeatedly hits against a spot so sweet, the coil in your stomach feels like it’s tightening.

“say it.” leon taunts. his hand reaches down to messily rub at your clit once more, your eyes flutter shut. you know what he wants and you don’t think you can push yourself further into damnation by saying the lord’s name in vain. “c’mon, doll. tell your god how my cock is making you feel.” leon tightly wraps his fingers around the dainty rosary, you’re pleading at him through your eyes, mouth too occupied by the moans you let out. “leon please.” you cry out, you’re not sure if you’re begging him to stop the blasphemy or to make you cum.

leon soon loses himself in your cunt, grasping at your hips to drill his cock deeper in you. the stars in your eyes are getting brighter, you’re almost there. dirty blonde hair cover leon’s eyes, relieving yourself of the gaze he had on you. “gonna fucking breed you.” leon laps at your neck, biting at your soft skin as if it’s the bread he eats at church. “you want that? want me to fill you up?” you moan out a incoherent yes, too fucked out to understand what he’s even saying. leon captures your lips in a heated kiss, tongues relentlessly clash against each other.

leon’s cock hits that sweet spot one final time before the coil within you finally snaps. “oh my god, leon!” you moan so loudly, throat becoming faintly sore. your body is shaking at the ecstasy that’s somehow stronger than before, nails clawing at leon’s back that you feel like you may draw blood. “there you go, angel.” leon’s words are drowned out by pure euphoria. you feel the warm essence escape out of your cunt but it’s soon mixed with another hot feeling, leon’s own cum. he desperately shoves his cock into you to rid himself of every last drop. you look down to where you two are connected, the lewd sight brings you back down to earth.

if anyone were to rip open your chest to view the way your heart is pounding, almost punching itself out, they’d think you murdered a man. the burden of betrayal is sitting heavy on your shoulders, all the prayers in the world couldn’t save you now. when you look at leon, who is taking in the sight of his cum dripping out of your cunt, the thought begins to become a crimson haze. a string of pearl beads clutched in leon’s fist catches your eye, you look up at him. a blue hue meet yours, the once bright shade now dark. leon lets out a daunting chuckle, “won’t be needing that anymore.”

sprawled out on his palm is a broken chain along with a few pearls and a tiny cross. leon ripped off your rosary.

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #resident evil 4 smut #leon kennedy imagine #leon kennedy x fem reader #idk how to tag this

[dilftaroooo]

a lil something for my black gorls bc apparently every reader in this fandom is fair skinned </3

oh lord ghost turns into holy spirit bc of how much he worships u and yo body goodness gracious (i am so sorry father god 💀🧎🏽‍♀️). got carried away. p.s. yall i haven’t written anything in a hot minute so this small thirst might be raggedy as hell (my coochie was doin the thinking)

tags: smut + afab reader + ghost loves you sm + just as much as u love him + finger lickin good pussy eatin + body worship + slight dumbification + i was planning on making him rough with u but then i went soft :) + p power + piv sex + barely proofread + im so sleepy i’ll probably edit the format later + forgot how much i fucking hate tumblr’s editing antics.

You had lost count already. How many times you came to be exact. Has it gone up to Two? Three? Yeah—three. At least that’s what you think. Well—you suppose thinking is starting to become more and more of a rare luxury considering the state you were in—dazed and stupid. Eyes decorated with a red glow from the tears that spilled from them along with a glossy sheen that finished the look.

Subtle hints of wet mascara slid down the apples of your cheeks as Ghost’s fingers delve deep within your wet entrance. His digits were more than acquainted to the slimy ridges that lived inside of you. He graciously pets your most sensitive spots with the utmost care, making your pussy scream as his moist lips kisses your bothered clit as though he’s cooing it to sleep. His tender nature juxtaposes the foreboding gleam of his skull mask and dark eyes drowning in war paint.

It’s those eyes. The ones that made you shiver and whine whenever they catch sight of you. The ones that glare under dim, yellow lights when you inevitably made him jealous. Enough to make them turn green. The ones that form crescent moons whenever he reminds you how much he loves you (the mild appearance of crow’s feet adorning the outer corners). Those eyes—

God, those big fucking eyes.

Sweat makes your melanin coated skin glisten, emitting a warm glow that send tingles up Ghost’s spine. He can feel the goosebumps covering his body as you inadvertently arch your back, pushing your warm sex up against his upper lip, making him groan into your sensitive nub. Your core tighten once more, your pedicured toes stretched across the apex of his back, polish chipped and damaged from irritation, the power of your orgasm jolting you with a hot flash.

Now it's your fourth time.

Brown areolas raise up and down from your big breaths, in the process of coming down from that high you’ve encountered just a second ago. But Ghost doesn’t know rest as he gorges your nipple in his mouth, adoring the quick yelp escaping your lips.

“Ah, Ghost…” You say with kind fragility. Your palms lightly tap his shoulder. Not telling him to stop but telling him to slow down. It was too much. His hands caressed your naked curves. He loved admiring your body. Taking the time to relish just how gorgeous you really are—from head to toe:

Your cornrows styled in intricate parts, freshly layered with the tropical smell of coconuts. Skin gleaming with the overly used shea butter that rarely missed a day off your body. Lips full and plump and coated with that cherry chapstick he loves to taste. Your breast were round and soft to the touch. And your pussy—Fuck, that pussy shined with your juices. Juices he created from fucking you silly with his fingers.

Ghost wasn’t a religious man. He never was. But of all the possible religions out there, your pussy was the one he worshiped the most.

He loved this pussy. Kneeled for this pussy. Prayed for this pussy.

Your being was his shrine and your name was his mantra. He couldn’t get enough of you and your light touches and gentle praises. Ghost couldn’t find more ways to thank you for your existence.

He releases your nipple with a soft pop and utters a voice lower than you’ve ever heard him use, “I need you, love.” You don’t take long to nod with evident fervor. Languidly aiding him in unbuckling his pants and releasing him from those tight restraints.

“I need you,” He repeats. “need that soaking wet cunt.” His Mancunian accent is thick and laced with desire when his mouth spewed that last word. You let go of a wanting mewl before spreading the dark, puffy lips that lead to your sopping wet hole. Just what he wanted.

You both moan in unison as you both get what you want. His hand engulfed yours and you’re quickly reminded of how big he is. His fingers are long and thick. Your legs twitch as you remember how they feel rubbing inside you. He leisurely finds his way deep in your sex. Your tightness pains him in the way that he likes. Leaning down to grunt into your ear, nose filled with that familiar coconut scent, you clench around him when his teeth bites down at the shell of your ear.

He loves you. He loves you so much—your hair, your eyes, your lips, your smile, your voice, your taste, your scent. You’re wonderful. Breathtaking. Beautiful. So so beautiful. He’s so glad he has you. That you’re in his arm moaning so prettily for him. And its almost unbelievable to him that you think of him the same way he thinks of you.

Once your breathing gets heavier and his thrusts gets sloppier and your eye starts twitching, you both finally succumb to the hot rush of pleasure. You don’t object to his heavy weight toppling over you after he fills you up (you encourage it with a hug despite how heavy he is). It feels good—laying like this. So intimate. You pet the back of his head taking in his warmth. Time passes before he slowly looks up at you, his eyes the same temperature as both of your bodies meshed together, and he suddenly states,

“That’s your fifth one, doll.” And you can’t help the quiet snicker that leaves you before giving him a playful slap to his arm, telling him to shut up. You somehow manage to catch a small glimpse of him rolling his eyes beneath that inky mask of his. This was intimate indeed. You finish off the night with a kiss to his forehead and you felt your heart flutter when he answered with a subdued hum.

#ghost x reader #ghost simon riley #mw2 smut #cod x reader #simon riley x reader #cod mw2 smut #ghost x you #ghost x y/n #ghost mw2 #black reader

[yakumtsaki]

Everybody, yeeeeah rock your body, yeeeeeah everybody, rock. your. body. right. BACKSTREET’S BACK. ALRIGHT

SO. I’m tired of waiting for Kim’s flaky ass to show up so we go ahead and adopt this Kim-clone named Sophie aka our 6th fucking cat. I’m gonna complete Komei’s lifetime want if it kills me and honestly it might just do it. Right off the bat I have a bad feeling about this cat bc of her unfortunate name. I’ve never met a girl named Sophia I didn’t aggressively hate but I’m like ok maybe this Sophia will break the curse..

NOP. First thing fucking Sophie does is murder our beloved Mr Bear that we’ve had since Daniel was born. An amazing way to endear yourself to your new family. 

-The affair shrine is next! You heathens are gonna see the light of the Lord!

Oh great, all we were missing was a christian fundamentalist in this house. Welcome aboard, Soph!

The cat fight club comprised of Victor, Ronron and Neo is completely out of control. It’s gotten to the point where everyone else in the house has ran out of fucks to give:

-Yea my son and my stalker are trying to kill each other, what else is new.. Wake me up when September ends.

Yea and wake me up when September starts cause I’m gonna be retaking my finals around that time.

Sophie: Road to Redemption.

-THERE’S ONLY ONE ROAD TO REDEMPTION AND IT’S THROUGH OUR LORD JESUS CHRIST

Shut it, Westboro.

Dear Diary,

How you’ve been? Sorry I haven’t written to you in 20 years, things have been pretty hectic what with raising 6 cats and having a bunch of kids and guarding my yard decorations from Shea Johnston.

So to fill you in on the important happenings, Professional Make-Up Cop returned Neo to me and oh, diary, songs will be sung of that day. It was one of the happiest moments of my life, second only to the discovery that Jojo got the jaw. How lucky that it would happen to that little asshole?! He’s definitely my least favorite kid. God truly helps the virtuous..

In sad news, diary, Mr Bear has tragically met an untimely end at the claws of my new cat, Tea Party congressional candidate Sophie. You know me, diary, I love all my cats equally, but my parenting skills are being put to the test. I will find a way to reach that cat though, diary, mark my words. Or I will return her to the pound as soon as she tops her career. Whichever comes first. 

I need to leave you now, diary, much like his mother, little Gunther has grown up to be quite the whorelord and I’ve been picking up the phone 200 fucking times a day. I still prefer him to Jojo though. Fuck that kid. 

See you in 20 years,

Komei Pussy Magnet Tellerman Union

Speaking of Jojo, he’s now able to search for ufos. Exciting! Too bad this new ability is completely useless cause we all know what he’s looking at..

-FOR THE LAST TIME YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING FREAKSHOW, WILL YOU CUT IT THE FUCK OUT

-Really Stephen, those are the pajamas you wear?? Who’s crazy now!

I’m gonna go with ‘person standing in the rain in a bowtie at 4am spying on an innocent family’ but idk, the jury’s still out. A phrase I suspect you’ll be hearing a lot in the future.

Meanwhile Komei keeps kicking down our flamingo?? Wtf Komei. Don’t we have enough problems without having to worry about you and your slow but steady mental breakdown?

Thank god for Gunther, sleepless guardian of the yard.

-HOW FUCKING DARE YOU DAD

-Oh grow up, Gunther, those flamingos are stupid and you’re stupid for liking them!

-Big talk from someone whose biggest dream is to have 6 cats top their careers! 

-You really want to talk about lifetime wants, Mr Visionary?

-BEING AN ART SCHOOL DROPOUT GIGOLO IS A REAL JOB DAD

Don’t listen to that dream killing asshole, Gunther, look how well you’re doing! You have more scholarships than fucking flop Jojo! Can’t believe all that ballet paid off. I’m gonna reward you for your hard work, time to call Ivy, she’s gonna be our 5th make out!

-NOICE

WELL FUCK YOU TOO IVY

-What is this strange feeling? I’ve never experienced it before.

It’s called rejection Gunther, you should give Daniel a call, he has vast experience in the area.

Daniel does call the next day wanting to.. talk to Victoria??? What on earth. As seen above, the tradition of Victoria scarring him psychologically is obviously alive and well.

-You won’t believe this, Dylan, but I banged Malcolm right before my birthday with your father in the next room! Don’t worry, I’ll email you all the hot details later!

I mean, at least they’re talking? Progress!

-Ah, I’m just killing it in every single aspect of my life. EVERY SINGLE ONE. ESPECIALLY THE ROMANTIC ONE. NO ONE REJECTED ME. NO ONE

Really Gunther, I can’t deal with your half-assed coping mechanisms right now, we have bigger problems, as in THE LOT IS LAGGING LIKE CRAZY THANKS TO OUR MILLIONS OF CATS. I have never in my life had lag like this, literal ts3 teas. Every time someone comes back from work the lot freezes for 2 minutes this shit is fucking unreal.

At least Sophie proves she’s worth the lag by constantly destroying important objects, like Gunther’s fucking homework.

-HAHA SAY GOODBYE TO THAT SCHOLARSHIP YOU VILE WHORE. ABSTINENCE ONLY EDUCATION IN SCHOOLS

You know how sometimes you look back and realize that if something completely random and insignificant hadn’t happened, everything would have been different? Well crazy christian cat destroying Gunther’s homework is one of those moments cause I drag Gunther out of the house to do his homework while he still can.. And thank god I do because otherwise..

WE WOULD HAVE MISSED MELODY TINKER PASSING BY. HOW. HOW HAD I NOT THOUGHT OF THIS ICONIC SUNGLASSES PAIRING BEFORE.

Are you guys seeing this adorable shit?? They look so right together, even their ridiculous outfits complement each other ❤ I had someone else in mind for Gunther but this changes everything, especially because..

NATURAL 3 FUCKING BOLTS. EVEN THO HE’S ROMANCE AND SHE’S KNOWLEDGE. LITERALLY UNHEARD OF.

The start of something beautiful is interrupted by this parallel universe punk Komei passing by. Can you guess what he does next even tho we obviously didn’t greet him?

UGH. This hairstyle is straight up CURSED.

-I’m getting the strongest urge to put you to work..

GTFO. Why must the Komeis of the world ruin every romantic moment??

Speaking of ruining the moment, Jojo returns from work aka the lot freezes for 2 mins. But he reached the top of his career again so we get the scholarship back. Congrats Jo!

-I’M FUCKING EXHAUSTED IM GONNA PASS OUT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF GUNTHER’S DATE

Get your ass inside right now and STOP STAYING UP ALL NIGHT WATCHING STEPHEN SLEEP

-Wait is that his daughter??? I NEED TO TALK TO HER

Yea you absolutely won’t be doing that nor coming anywhere near her.

-But then how am I gonna collect her DNA to clone my own Stephen?

GO TO BED

-AW it’s a love letter to me from Marisa ❤

LMAO you wish Komes, it’s from Ruskie to Gunther but yea, take that shit out of there and gtfo, I don’t anything ruining our Melody date.

Like say, fucking useless asshole Sophie getting demoted AND FREEZING THE LOT FOR 5 MINUTES. Her flopping at her job is gonna become a running theme cause her fun and social are permanently in the red and I have no idea wtf her problem is since we have a million toys and cats for her to play with. GOD SOPHIE

-Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain!

STFU

If there’s anything I hate more than shy sims, it’s not much. Somehow tho I find the shy animations super cute when Melody does them?? 

-Me too!

I know Guns! Let’s get the girl.

Nice! Busting a move does it again!

Aww! What classic song are you crazy kids slow dancing to?

-Aayooo, I’m tired of using technology.. Why don’t you sit down on top of me ♫

-Wow, that’s beautiful, Gunther..

Thank you, 50 Cent! Justin you can go fuck yourself, #teamBrit

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Things progress rapidly like always and 5 makeouts are finally achieved! Gunther has now gotten with more sims than every other member of the family combined. So proud :’)

God, I never get tired of the view of aspiration points lighting up the night sky. GET IT GUNS

LOL. Gunther I don’t know how to break this to you so I’m just gonna go with blunt and insulting: time to close your legs. Welcome to monogamy! Let’s see how long you last.

Man, it’s nice when things come full circle. Gunther is still picking up the flamingo but now a new otp has been born! How much time we’ve wasted gunning for the wrong Tinker..

-It’s not wasted time if you enjoy doing it!

Yea that radioactive glow you have going is doing wonders for your credibility, Jo..

..as is this farewell meeting with the president of the ridiculous hairstyle org. Wow, we haven’t seen him in a long time. ~nostalgia

-Jojo! I understand you’re leaving for college today and dropped in to remind you that there’s always a place for you in our organization when you graduate. Make us proud son!

-I really don’t care about making you or anyone else proud, Mr President, since the only opinion that matters is my own, but I certainly appreciate the sentiment. I have something to remind you as well: I’m coming for you. There’s only room for one top freak in this neighborhood. 

And he’s off! Dressed to impress I see. You wear a bowtie to spy on Stephen but your pj’s for the first day of college.

-Yea, it’s called having your priorities straight. As if I’d dress up for those plebs that should be honored BY MY MERE PRESENCE.

Oh this is gonna be unbearable. Well at least it’s only FOUR FUCKING YEARS. Time to have Sophie start praying for my soul.

#ts2 #sims 2 #union legacy