#look its NUANCED fkdhfjdshjk. yes he feels utterly undeserving of love and compassion yes hes genuinely a pretty self confident guy

[fellhellion]

the tension between miguel's dogshit self worth, his projection of egotism, his own self centeredness and genuine confidence

#tunes talks 2099 #look its NUANCED fkdhfjdshjk. yes he feels utterly undeserving of love and compassion yes hes genuinely a pretty self confident guy #but its a confidence underscored by the fact this was what was *needed* to operate successfully in this environment #the self centeredness is also BOTH shit like miguel telling gabriel things were already over between him and dana *and* the way miguel #cannot conceptualise issues beyond the lens of self blame because its scary to admit you were taken advantage of. if you can at least blame #yourself it offers you a measure of control (and he DOES blame himself for being taken advantage of by Stone) and that mindset IS self #centered if in a way thats specifically a defense mechanism to trauma #and the egotism. oh boy. tfw how much does it even matter if ur aware of the fact that its a front if its how you treat people regardless