#literally it wasnt worth it just to see servant. im in hell

[nagitoedit]

trying to watch a playtrough of ultra despair girls was genuinely agonizing and i stopped watching after . that guy was introduced and i refuse to keep watching it . i mean. maybey its on purpose .. create larger despair to create even larger hope whatever but also i dont really care.

a million paragraphs of complaint under the cut, this got really long

1. starting off really quickly with the petty complaint that doesnt matter, but the playthrough i was watching was a terrible dub. the voice acting is incomprehensibly bad i dont know how someone could say these lines and think they did a good job . id be so embarrassed.

2. a major character is toko fukawa/genocide jack, which she is that horrible 'split personality' trope with the 'evil psycho killer' alter. which that was introduced in the first game but its still agonizing to have to see this . lawl <- said with disappointed agony. and the writers obviously know, i mean look at these screenshots i took of a dialogue scene

its . incomprehensible to acknowledge this yet still continue to write the character this way. i mean, knowing anything about that awful anime, they clearly have no qualms with making retcons. and other things that are frustrating about this is that information that the game has about DID in the first game (trigger happy havoc) and this game, is actually very accurate. for the most part, they use a lot of correct terminology and seem to generally understand how DID works. and yet they still use these harmful and unrealistic tropes that hurt real systems.

3. i didnt finish it of course so i dont fully know but the way they handle it but from what ive seen, they dont really handle the topic of child abuse well. considering the whole plot is "abused children rise up and start hunting adults for sport" <- i was also amazed at how absolutely ridiculous bullshit this plot is.

4. ................................ haiji. i dont know what to say there. the entire concept of this makes me upset beyond comprehension. they introduce some character, the 'leader of the resistance' and i also feel so betrayed because i really liked his character design and was interested in his character. and then i searched him up really quick to send a picture to the friend i was talking to about this and immediately learned that apparently he is a pedophile and abuser. and that apparently the leader of the murderous children is his young abused half-sister, who he would physically assault, and ended up being the reason she is a paralytic wheelchair user. and not to mention that journal that is found in a locker and read before meeting his character, which is eventually heavily implied to be his. huge content warning for graphic depictions of violence.

"Devils. They're devils in the bodies of children. Damn devils! I want to grind down your organs, your heart, your liver, your kidneys, everything, into dust. I want to throw you all into a blender and turn you to sloshy livestock feed. I want to stab your eyeballs with a pencil until I can write with your blood. I want to boil you alive in a pressure cooker until your screams stop. I want to squeeze your little bodies until blood leaks from every pore on your skin. I want to slash open the wombs of the mothers that birthed you and stuff you back in."

and what i mean by its heavily implied to be his is that when talking to him after reading that journal, there is an emphasized part where he refers to the kids as devils.

and also the scene where he openly admits to being a pedophile, specifically he told toko that hes not sexually interested in her, or komaru, because "I... I like 'em younger. As young as possible."

5. tokos design in this game gave her paler skin than in the first game she was in.

6. everything else. i dont know how to list every little thing, especially since i havent watched all of it. there is a scene where (theyre like elementary schoolers by the way) monaca forces nagisa to kiss her, against his will, verbally sexually assaulting him, breaking his spirit to force him to do whatever she wants. which is all shown .

there is so much that is so genuinely horrible and impossible to watch.

#okay so watching parts of the playthrough that i hadnt seen to find some of this stuff to be able to explain it fully uhm . i feel violated #have i ever actually felt this way about something before. so unbelievably gross and horrifying i felt sick . hm. #literally it wasnt worth it just to see servant. im in hell

[heybinnie]

i dunno if anyone watches steven universe but i gotta dump sth here

steven universe au

some context

there is Homeworld, located in space, where gems are made and are from

the three-ish people who lead Homeworld are called the Diamonds

every other gem kinda worships them and has to follow their every order

thousands of years ago, Homeworld set out to make Earth like this place to experiment making gems and shit and basically just rekt Earth for their own use

which is BAD

so basically the Diamonds suck

so Rose Quartz, right, shes a gem from Homeworld who saw Earth as a beautiful place and something worth saving

she believed that all life on earth is beautiful

SO she betrayed her own home to protect her new home, that is Earth

she started a rebellion called the Crystal Gems

whoever joined her had to remember that they could be killed, and if they won, they couldnt go back to Homeworld and have to stay on Earth

so they went to war with Homeworld called the Gem War and they won!!!!!

but the Crystal Gems lost a lot of their members

until there was only Rose, Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl left

Rose (Whos a gEm REMEMBER) she falls in love with a human

Rose gets pregnant!!!

BUT

their baby and her cant exist at the same time

so rose has to give up her physical form so that her baby can live

which means

her baby will be half human half gem, and will thus have her gem

so her baby lives, but without his mom

thats steven

and bc she led the rebellion, steven has to ‘deal’ with everything his mom left behind

which is a lot of stuff

about where Steven lives!!

he lives alone in this house, but its like connected to the Temple where the Crystal Gems live, so in a sense its basically just a big house with a huge weird basement so they all kinda live together idk how to explain this

lives on the beach!!! its so cute i love the place

THE CRYSTAL GEMS!!!

sanha is steven (*starts crying*)

his rose quartz gem is on his chest, over his heart

has never met his mom

so never really knew the love of a mother but it never really ~occurred~ to him until she becomes really important

I CANT TeLL YOU HOW EMOTIONALLY DRAINING IT WOULD BE TO BE STEVEN OK

so anyway sanha is a sweetheart

also is musically talented in every way

likes to sing random songs out of nowhere

likes to mess with his ‘guardians’ a lot aka the rest of the crystal gems

but they all have a soft spot for him no matter how much he messes up

he always does his best bro

and its so cute bc hes just the baby brother and hes surrounded by a bunch of hundreds or thousands of years old gems lmao

sometimes hes left alone at home when the rest of the crystal gems go on missions too dangerous for him

and when his dad is busy

hes alone at home

and its really quiet and the painting of his mother hangs on top of their front door, and sanha gets really lonely and just cries sometimes

so when rocky comes over his chest always fills up with warmth and relief

to sanha, his family is everything

also adorable. absolutely adorable no one can say no to his face tbh

jinjin is garnet??

hes created the exact same way garnet was

his gems are in the same places--both palms

jinjin loves the concept of love in general

bc hes literally made out of love

like legit

hes a fusion: a sapphire and ruby who werent supposed to but fell in love, and gems do this thing where when theyre really emotionally bonded and stuff theyd fuse? which is like. thats a lot of trust for each other ykno

so jinjins a fusion

people look down on fusions bc theyre usually thought to only be useful to like fight but jinjin exists because of love

YOU FEEL ME

and jinjin honestly doesnt care about what people think of him bc he exists

but he feels very strongly for fusions!!

hes also considered the ‘strongest’ because hes a fusion

also the de facto leader of the crystal gems

always calm and level headed but occasionally likes to crack a joke

everyone loves him

jinjin is jinjin in the sense that he is always kind and likes to make sanha laugh

soft spot for sanha

sanha trusts him a LOT

often looks to him for advice, when something goes wrong, for safety and warmth and protection

eunwoo is pearl

he hides his gem beneath his bangs?? bc hes embarrassed :’)

pearls are considered only useful as ‘accessories’ and servants to the Diamonds

gems from Homeworld think of pearls as the ‘lowest’ gems

but this boy learns to love and be confident of himself come FIGHT ME

no one owns eunwoo man he’s his own gem

hes really super duper smart

sometimes he and jinjin fight bc he sees things more logically>? while jinjin acts more on intuition and stuff?

mj makes fun of eunwoo sometimes bc he doesnt know how to have fun? but then right after mj helps him so thats kinda cute

but also eunwoo berates mj a lot bc 

well its mj

also chides sanha a lot when he doesnt keep the house in order

often helps to clean up

anyway hes considered the ‘closest’ to Rose Quartz bc hed been fighting by her side the longest

so he misses her a lot but eunwoo doesnt blame sanha for any of it; he loves sanha all the same

but then bin THE LION comes into the picture and eunwoo gets this weird but warm, familiar sense of comfort from bin, something he remembers feeling around Rose when she was still around, so he likes to hang with bin a lot

even if bin the lion likes to lie on his face and whap him in the face with his tail and leave fur everywhere

anyway

mj is amethyst

but like....hes an amber

his gem is on hiS BACK between his shoulderblades

the history of amethyst: amethysts are ‘made’ on earth, theyre made mostly to be soldiers and fight for homeworld

somewhere above pearls on the hierarchy i guess

theyre made in the Kindergarten, where there are these holes in the walls where the gems would come out of

at some point mj’s kindergarten kind of became like a ‘bad place’ and every gem that grew out of there were like parasites

so that Kindergarten was abandoned

and mj, the hole he came out of, his hole was smaller than everyone else’s

he came out smaller than everyone else

he was considered a ‘defect’ and weaker than the others

anyway bc the place was abandoned and he had nowhere to go since no one wanted him, mj just stuck around alone by himself for hundreds of years

until Rose came along (when she was still alive of course) and offered him to join the Crystal Gems

and Rose taught him love and how he was worth fighting for and he mattered and that he wasnt a defect, not a parasite, that he deserved love and to be loved and to love others and

im emo

ANYWAY

MJ IS MJ hes the mood maker and always makes sanha smile whenever sanha is feeling down

hes kinda like the glue that keeps the gems together

loves to have fun

but he gets really uncomfortable whenever the topic of the other ambers or the Kindergarten is brought up like hes super insecure of where hes from

he tries to smile it off tho but he really just doesnt like talking about it

protecc mj

ROCKY!! IS CONNIE!!!!!!!!!

SANHA’S HUMAN BEST FRIEND

who sanha really pours his heart out to!!!

and rocky as rocky doesnt give him shit ykno but he real talks sanha

a lot

rocky also doesnt care that sanha is half gem and half human; like doesnt care and just likes him for him

sticks around through thick and thin and hell and highwater

believes in sanha, holds a lot of faith in him

but hes still your Rocky Swag

always listens to sanha whenever he needs someone to talk to

actually likes to hear about all his adventures with the other Crystal Gems

likes to touch and poke and prod at Sanha’s gem too

like he’d sometimes kinda just pull down on sanha’s collar just so he could look at his rose quartz gem sparkle in the sun and its so pretty he kinda wished he was a gem

anyway eventually he starts to really worry for sanha and wants to fight the bad guys with him, doesnt wanna be protected all the time

so rocky learns to fight

from jinjin

and rocky becomes especially good in combat and stuff and learns how to use some weapons from eunwoo (specialises in weapons) 

honestly rocky is a gem like hes a GIFT

sanha’s so thankful for him

but he also feels really bad bc he feels like hes pulling rocky into his own mess and putting him in danger

but rocky doesnt care he just wants to be by sanha’s side and help him wherever he can and support him all the way through

im emo

rocky also holds sanha quietly when he cries about his mom

which starts to get more and more often

bin....is lion......................................................

LMAO

basically Lion is this uh lion that Sanha found one day when they went on a mission, and Lion is all pink and stuff and followed him around and all the way back home too

the Crystal Gems were unsure about keeping him but sanha thought it was HELLA COOL to have a pet lion and they all eventually lost to His Baby Face

no one can ever say no to that face

anyway bin is called Lion bc sanha has no originality with names so there

anyway

bin is actually a gem

he specialises in shapeshifting? so when rose was still around he was in lion form a lot

hes a cATS EYE QUARTZ

BUT HIS GEM waS cracked in the middle of the gem war

and usually when a gem’s gem is cracked they start to get real weird until the crack gets bigger and bigger and eventually it shatters which means they die

but when rose was alive she healed him but could only do it like halfway? like it was a rushed job so he was stuck as a lion during that war

and then when that was over he was kinda left behind bc rose thought she’d lost everyone already

idk bro

so basically bin’s been stuck as a lion for TOO LONG until sanha found him

but sanha doesnt knoW hes a gem bc bin’s gem is hidden so far beneath is goddam thicc mane so no one ever knew

also my friends who may not know

Steven’s Lion is pink

this means binnie will have pink hair and skin imagine that

and he kinda kneels to sanha (even as lion)

I CANT EXPLAIN THIS U JUST GOTTA KNOW HE KNEELS AND BOWS HIS HEAD

#respect

but also maintains that whole im-older-than-you-respect-me-u-brat vibe

ANYWAY

bin the LION comes along on one of the Crystal Gems’ missions with sanha

aND HE GETS REALLY HURT

ALMOST DIES KINDA HURT

his gem cracks and his form starts to get real weird, changing between lion and other animals and shit

SANHA STARTS CRYING

“Lion????”

sanha cries A LOT, buries his face into bin’s mane and stuff and it soaks right frickin thru

his teaRS HEALED BIN’S GEM

BIN COMES BACK

AS HIS ACTUAL FORM

hes naked

everyone screams

#miwrites #tbh just a dump #steven universe is just really cool i just really love the concept #bulletfic