#linksqueen

[fanficcritiques]

‘My Inner Life’ - Fanfic Commentary Part 1

Sometime in the late 90′s, early 00′s, the internet was graced with a Legend of Zelda fanfic that would become the stuff of infamous legend. A fanfic largely serving the purpose of the author’s wish fulfillment indulgence, its reputation of having contained things like “tiger sex” and a possible watersports kink continue to precede it even to this day, some 20-odd years later. 

As with a lot of online fan media and history, this story has long captured my attention and imagination. It’s difficult to say why exactly, as I don’t believe there is anything in this story that makes it especially unique in today’s landscape of fics, nor is there anything I find especially outrageous (at least by modern day standards). I suspect it’s due to the fact that said fic actually has a lot of potential and, therefore, becomes a draw for inspiration in its own way. 

Recently I chose to revisit this fic, somewhat in the spirit of ‘MSTing’ (a sort of commentary style that endeavors to be mocking in the spirit of humor). However, I wanted to approach this commentary with a more balanced view, no derisiveness, and overall, as if I was leaving editor’s notes for how the story might be improved. I believe we’ve moved past the era of making fun of fan works and insulting their creators, and for good reason, but I don’t think that means we can’t continue to study and comment on them. 

Before I continue on with the commentary I wanted to make it clear that this story has a special place in my heart, that I have endeavored to show both respect and consideration for the work itself and the author behind it in the notes I’ve made along the way. I realize there are elements of the ridiculous about this fic, but my goal is to show respect in my constructive criticism and I would appreciate that anyone who comments along does the same.  

I want to also add that I haven’t focused too much on spelling, grammar, or general construction errors this time around. This commentary focuses more on the plot, characterization, dialogue, things of that nature. 

So, without further ado...My Inner Life Part 1, prologue and author’s notes. My commentary is in italics and parentheses.  

Author’s notes: Hello. Thanks for choosing to read my story. As you might know I have become a major Zelda fan in the last year. Ever since I played OoT I have grown a fond interest in Link. I started to notice that after I got really into it, I found that I have a strange gift. A gift to Lucid Dream. I started having dreams about Hyrule, and about Link. In a Lucid Dream you can control your dreams. The dreams became very real, kinda like a second life, and almost every night I would have another. Starting from where the last left off. Even to this day I still have them. I find that they help me get through life. I know this may sound queer, but for me the dreams sure help me out. I have shared this story with many other people and so far all has liked it. Now as you read this it is told from my perspective or first person view.

(Some people choose to criticize LinksQueen for not understanding what lucid dreaming is, but given my own research, I think she’s actually right; lucid dreaming is, simply, an awareness while dreaming that one is, in fact, dreaming, and may be able to gain some control over the events that take place. It’s entirely possible she could return to her subconscious every night and make up this story as she went along. However, my theory has always been that some measure of self awareness dictated she needed to have a scapegoat of sorts to explain away the weirdness of what happens in this story. With the blame of a ‘dream’ -albeit one she can control- being to blame for what goes on here, responsibility falls from her shoulders. No, it doesn’t particularly make sense, but I feel that’s probably where she was coming from)

You will find that it is very detailed since I remember it all very clearly to this day. The story takes place after OoT. Nothing after that ever happens. No Majora's Mask. No LttP, or even Oracle of Ages and Seasons. And there is no love relation between Link and Zelda, Link and Ruto, Link and Malon or Link and Saria. Because of my feelings about Link, the person that he gets involved with in this story is myself or actually is my persona. A persona is for those of you who need to know, a representation of ones personality, or in dictionary terms is, (Persona) n. In biology, same as person. So for all you future readers, this story is based on Jenna, a char that is a representation of my personality.

(Again, she’s gotten a lot of flack over the years for this note of choosing to ignore Link’s possible chemistry with the flanking female characters, but I don’t think this is worth criticizing her for. It’s her fanfic, she has the right to disregard, rewrite what she pleases. Why else does fanfic exist if not for that purpose? I also don’t think it’s worth coming after her for writing herself a self-insert, wish fulfillment fantasy character to live vicariously through. Fanfic exists for a reason. It’s more...how this placeholder is written that deserves some amount of further inspection, but we’ll get to that in a moment) 

But if you think this might be too queer then you shouldn't read this. THIS IS NOT THE TYPE OF STORY FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT DISLIKE, OR CANNOT HANDLE SUCH MATERAL AS THE CONTEXT OF THIS STORY. But if you seriously believe you can handle the content of this story, then read on. If your squeamish about sex, then you should not read this, since this story is a REAL LEMON and there is a lot of that, heavily detailed. (Between Link and I that is) Especially during the bonding ceremony. There is also some blood content and strong adult language. So if that’s too much then you should turn back now.

(Responsible and thoughtful of her to put warnings, though I do believe she should’ve also warned for the slight watersports kink that happens in said Bonding Ceremony. It might have saved her some trouble along the road, anyway, as it wouldn’t have come as an interesting surprise to the reader in later chapters. Maybe she didn’t want to spoil it? But anyway, I’m putting one now; urine drinking happens- and no, I’m not being intentionally judgmental about it, I know there are real, consenting adults out there who enjoy that sort of play and as long as one is being safe I don’t think it deserves any ridiculing, but it IS the sort of thing that I would consider ‘not everyone’s cup of tea’ and worth warning about in advance)  

Now I have not finished it as of yet. I have to catch up, since the last dream I had was just after Link and I had the blessing ceremony for our twins.(Our 3rd and 4th kids) Right now there is about 100-150 pgs worth. I'm expecting it to reach at least 300-350 probably even more. I will try to up date as often as possible. I hope that some of you like this. I do not mind sharing it. But please understand that this is very PRECIOUS to me, as well as Link. So like I said, if the content of this story sounds, too queer to you, TURN BACK NOW! But to all who wish to continue, happy reading. Thanks,

~*~ Link’s Queen ~*~

Rated R for strong adult language, sex, violence and blood content.

AGAIN AS A FINAL WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS HEAVY SEX, ABULT LANGUAGE AND TALKS ABOUT MY PERSONAL ENCOUNTER WITH LINK. THIS STORY IS BASED ON DREAMS, DREAMS ABOUT MY LIFE WITH HIM. IF YOU FIND THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY TO BE OFFENSEVE, QUEER, OR PLAIN OUT OFF THE WALL, THEN DO NOT READ ON!!!!!!! I HAVE GOTTEN WAY TO MANY FLAMES ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY WHEN I HAVE PLACED SEVERAL WARNINGS!!!! I WILL NOT ACCECPT ANY MORE FLAMES, RAMBLINGS, CUSSING OR EXCESSIVE LASHING OUT ABOUT THE CHAR JENNA, OR REVIEWS ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS STORY, EXCESSIVE LASHING OUT, VICIOUS ATTACKS AGAINST MY PERSONALITY, OR NON-MATURE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISIM!!! ANY REVIEWS SUBMITTED THAT DO NOT FOLLOW THE ABOUVE GUIDLINES, WILL BE DELETED IMMEDIATELY! THESE WARNINGS ARE NOT THERE TO LOOK PRETTY, THE AUTHORS PLACE WARNINGS FOR A REASON!!! IT IS TO TELL YOU WHAT THE CONTENT OF THE STORY IS SO THAT IF THE READER FINDS THE CONTENT OF THE STORY OFFENSIVE, THEY WILL NOT READ ON!!! MANY AUTHORS HAVE BEEN COMPLAINING ABOUT UNWANTED, EXCESSIVE, VIOLENT AND JUST PLAIN NASTY REVIEWS THAT HAVE BEEN SUBMITTED BY READERS ABOUT THEIR STORIES, CAUSING FANFICTION TO GRANT AUTHORS THE ABILITY TO DELETE UNWANTED REVIEWS AND BLOCK CERTAIN READERS!! I WILL SAY THIS FOR MYSELF AND FOR ALL AUTHORS ON FANFICTION. NO AUTHOR TWISTS YOUR ARM OR HOLDS YOU AT GUN POINT OR FORCES YOU IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM TO READ THEIR STORIES!! ALL READERS HAVE THE RIGHT NOT TO READ A CERTAIN STORY!!! IT IS YOUR RESOPONSIBILITY TO READ THE WARNINGS AND DECIDE FOR YOUSELF IF THE CONTENT OF THE STORY IS OFFENSIVE TO YOU, AND TO MAKE THE CHOICE TO READ ON OR NOT!!! AND IT ALSO IS THE READERS RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY ON HOW THEY HANDLE THENSELVES WHEN LEAVING A REVIEW FOR AN AUTHOR!! LEAVING A REVIEW THAT IS VIOLENT IN NATURE ONLY MAKES YOU THE READER LOOK BAD, AND IS VERY IMMATURE. IF  ALL US HERE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE ADULTS, WELL THEN, LETS CONDUCTIVE OURSELVES LIKE ADULTS AND NOT LIKE LITTLE KIDS! I ONLY EXPECT THE VIOLENT LASHING OUT AND VICIOUS ATTACKS TO COME FROM TEENANGERS, NOT ADULTS! IF YOU PEOPLE REALLY ARE ADULTS THAT ARE CONDUCTING YOURSELVES IN THE MANORS I DECRIBED ABOVE, YOU PEOPLE REALLY ARE SCARING ME!

IT’S A DAMN SHAME TO KNOW THAT THERE ARE ADULTS OUT THERE WHO CANNOT CONDUCTIVE THEMSELVES IN THE SIMPLEST MANORS THEIR PARENTS HAVE TAUGHT THEM! ALSO LEAVING MALICIOUS REVIEWS IS ALSO A SIGN OF LOW SELF-ESTEEM. IF ALL YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW DO IS ATTACK SOMEONE VICIOUSLY, IT’S A SIGN OF SELFISHNESS AND NO RESPECT FOR ONES-SELF! I SUGGEST TO ALL READERS WHO ARE THINKING ABOUT LEAVING A MALICIOUS REVIEW FOR ME, PLEASE GET A HOBBY AND LEARN TO CONTROL YOUR ANGER, BECAUSE YOUR ONLY HURTING YOURSELF, NOT ME! ALSO LEAVING A NASTY REVIEW ONLY MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID, NOT ME!

I FIND IT VERY RIDICULOUS THAT I HAD TO LEAVE A WARNING THIS LONG, BUT IT IS BECAUSE OF THE VERY IMMATURE READERS THAT HAVE SUBMITTED NASTY CHILDISH REVIEWS!

AGAIN, PLEASE READ THE ABOVE CONTEXT BEFORE READING ON!!!!

(It’s at this point that Link’s Queen obviously reached the end of her patience with scathing reviews and felt her only line of defense was putting yet another note about the content of the story, albeit a rather didactic one...entirely in caps lock. But I get it, I do, and I think she does have a good point in that the plot and themes of the story are made clear from the outset -apart from the watersports, mind, but I already addressed that- and that there is nothing about this particular fanfic that warrants cruelty in the comments. Of course, this was published during a less conscientious time for the internet, a time when I also was in the infancy of my writing and received reviews of similar ilk lmao. It still doesn’t make it okay, nor does it make any of the threats or insults that came after okay either, but that’s kind of why I’m writing this commentary now)  

Furthermore, I have realized that this story needs some heavy grammar corrections, and that the plot needs some work. Also under the advisement of my friend who had just recently completed two literature classes, has stated the reasons why people had classified Jenna as a “Mary Sue” char and labeled her as “flat”. She has come to the conclusion that most people do not know or understand Jenna’s history, so she has advised me to create an origin story to explain about her history before she met Link. That way she will become more rounded and give people a reason to care about her. It was never in my intentions to create Jenna as a “Mary Sue” char or to make her conceited, because I’m not really like that. Jenna is a persona char, one that resembles my personality while this story is being told from her perspective. This story is not something that I pulled out of my head like my drawings, it came from my dreams. So I understand that revising this story is going to be hard work and will take time. Since this story is being told in the exact, or close to exact order it happened in the dreams, changing how fast Link and Jenna marry isn’t going to be easy. Even changing how fast they have sex and revising the Lemon parts also won’t be so easy to do. But I’m currently in the process of revising this story, also I have received a college grammar book from my friend and I will be investing in a Beta-Reader. I’m also considering taking to literature classes at JC to help boost my writing skills. But now I say this, if you people, the reviewers really have the intentions to help me, them please do it positively and like a mature adult. I’m telling you that it is a proven fact that negative motivation NEVER motivates someone to change. It never has and it never will. I’m pretty sure your parents have taught you that people only respond to positive motivation and not negative.

(We’ll start with the beginning of this paragraph. I don’t think the issue with Jenna, as a character, was ever that she was conceited. In fact, she might have been more well-rounded and interesting if she had been conceited; moreover, I think the weakness in her as an OC is that she doesn’t really have much of a personality to speak of at all. Jenna is defined by her relationship with Link, some attributes that are thrown out as afterthoughts within the dialogue and have no real bearing on the plot (at some point she is characterized as “spiritual” though we are never given any evidence, before or after, that correlates to her being a particularly spiritual person at all). She is a traveling merchant when the story begins, though that fails to carry over anything worth noting. She’s an orphan and has been without her parents for a good bit of her childhood- again, this fails to provide any character attributes, issues or consequences at all, much less anything that affects the story in any real way apart from giving her some sympathy from the King and leading him to more or less adopt her, at least when she’s in Hyrule. A backstory means very little if it has no effect on the development of the plot or character.

She also mentions the dreams here again, cementing my aforementioned theory in the line “this story is not something that I pulled out of my head like my drawings, it came from my dreams” as dreams, here, are being used as an excuse for why the story is the way it is and why it cannot, apparently, be easily changed. But again, I would assert that the main issue is not really in how fast Link and Jenna have sex and get married, but rather in the lack of character Jenna has, the lack of insight given to the reader about why Link and Jenna like each other, why that lead to them falling in love. I understand that this story is wish fulfillment first and foremost and in such a fantasy story it’s a given that the placeholder character will win the heart of their affections, but not providing any real relationship growth or insight can leave readers feeling out in the cold, so to speak. We don’t know Jenna as a character, we don’t know why she and Link should fall in love so completely. We need to see it. 

But anyway, good on her at the time for wanting to better herself with further education, I hope she was able to achieve that.) 

I’m not close-minded, I NEVER have been. I have always been open to other people’s thoughts and opinions, its when its done in an inappropriate manner that I turn my nose at it and look away. People have to understand that when you’re an adult, you need to conduct yourself like one and learn how to address other people like one. You cannot just act childish when you come across something that you DO NOT approve of, you’re only making yourself look bad and that can affect you later on in life. Acting childish and ranting and raving is something I’d expect a little kid would do when he doesn’t get his way. When an adult acts childish over stupid things, that’s looked down upon, and considered to be unhealthy. I have seen far too many reviews left for me where the reviewers are just ranting and raving like little kids over this story because they do not like it. It is only making them look stupid and is very unhealthy. I fear that these people have some serious emotional problems if they get that upset over a story. People in control of their emotions and have also obtained some sort of common sense, NEVER let little things get them all riled up. It is very sad when one that is supposed to be an adult, cannot handle them like one. I was NEVER angry with the reviewers not liking the story, it’s how they handled themselves when leaving me the reviews. Getting riled up, ranting and raving, screaming and spitting nails over this story is what has caused me to get upset, not the fact that they didn’t like it.

Also as a side note, I NEVER physically hurt ANYONE with this story. I got one reviewer that said. “Oh God please stop writing, your hurting everyone.” Now I want to know where I physically touched that person. I want to know how I’m twisting anyone’s arms to read this. I have never done anything of the sort in any way, shape or form and I DO NOT appreciate being accused of that! If you’re emotionally hurt over this, its your fault not mine. I’m sorry if it did, but I have placed several warnings describing the content of this story and if you know what it contains and you do not like this type of material, then why are you reading it? I do not appreciate getting accused for other people’s actions. It is your choice as the reader to read the content of this story and it is not my fault if it upsets you when you knew from the gecko what it contained. So please DO NOT flame me about it.

I also feel like a schoolteacher teaching a bunch of little kids. And I find that this really wasn’t necessary and shouldn’t have had to come to this, but it is very hard when your reviewers have forgotten how to conduct themselves like adults.

If you honestly think that being malicious is a good thing and that you’re not wrong in doing so, well then your blinded by your own selfish pride. People with common sense learn how to take responsibility for themselves and are able to admit when their wrong. I have found that many of the reviewers that have left me malicious reviews honestly believe that its appropriate behavior for an adult. When it really is that they are too self-absorbed in themselves to admit their wrong. Again that results from selfish pride. One to scared to admit in front of others that they just might be wrong. Also, how can any of you hold any right to call Jenna conceited when in reality, your contradicting yourself by being conceited as well? Being conceited is again selfish pride and being self-absorbed. And yes, it is and always will be a fact that most of the reviewers have been conceited and very contradictive. Please DO NOT leave me a review that only contradicts what you are trying to preach. You should in reality, take your own advice.

Again I find it very ridiculous that this had to be as long as it is, but it is due to the fact that people not conducting themselves appropriately. Also if I do receive any more malicious reviews, with screaming, spitting nails or ranting and raving over this story because you do not like it then are to self-absorbed to admit that acting like that is wrong, well then you have proven my point! All of this is very self-explanatory!

 Now PLEASE DO NOT READ ON if you DO NOT plan on leaving me a review appropriately!

(She more or less repeats points she already made here, but again, I agree. The summary and numerous warnings should have clued people in to the fact that this was going to be a fantasy, wish fulfillment, placeholder type story and to expect the kind of thing that goes on therein. It also shouldn’t have given anyone free reign to be cruel or leave threatening reviews, etc)

Prologue

    Dreams come in many forms. Some good, some bad, some very realistic, even ones that feels very real. A dream may come to us from happy events, or even stem from bad events in our lives. Some come to us as a pleasure dream and some come as nightmares. Some become vague memories after time, while some stay very rich in our minds. This is a story about a dream that I had. A dream that became more dreams. A dream that would end one night then resumes the next. It became like a second life. Ever since I became a Zelda fan, I grew an interest in Link. I thought of him as the perfect man. One that you could not find of this world. I thought of him as a man that should have been. The more that he attracted my attention the more I became more attracted to him.  I felt like there was a connection between him and me. Then he became a part of me, and after that I fell deeply in love with him.

     I know that may sound queer to you but love is a mysterious thing and should not be taken lightly. Love is a very strong emotion, an emotion that should be treasured. Love comes from the heart, but when it takes hold, it’s got you. I quite don't understand it myself, but I do know that when I first laid my eyes upon Link I fell in love with him. My heart just told me it was right. Told me he was the one, the one I had been searching for. Ever since then I have felt that it was destiny that has brought me to him. Even in my mind it feels the same. I don't consider myself any different from anyone else. Though I have love for someone that is not really there, he will always remain very real to me inside my heart and in my mind. Even to this day I still love him. He has kept me very happy. He has made me happy when I was sad. He has made me feel stronger about myself. He has even taken care of me in ways that no one else can. Even though I have feelings for him, I'm not any different from the rest of you. I will always hold him close to me in my heart. He is still on my mind and I still have dreams. The connection stills remains strong, and the dreams very real.

     I lived an entire life with Link in Hyrule. All stemming from a series of dreams. Dreams that I want to have. Dreams that I make happen. From the first day I met him, to the birth of our first child, to even the days when Link and I prepared our family in the event that Gannon should return. This book is based on my inner life. A second life lived in a far away land in another time line in another dimension. A tale of love, passion, despair and hope. I enjoyed my inner life. I looked forward to going to sleep to it every night. And I look forward to ones that will come, because LOVE WILL NEVER DIE.

(Again, this is one of the points of the story that the writer gets a lot of flack for, but I think it’s pretty harmless to project on a fictional character and use their likeness to fill a sense of loneliness. Nothing wrong with it, and I’m not here to judge. I think we all probably did something similar at a point in our lives- I used to privately pretend Legolas was my boyfriend when I was like 10 or 11, so yknow, glass houses!!!) 

#my inner life #linksqueen #jenna silverblade #legend of zelda