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thinkinginadifferentbox · 4 years

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Inclusive Education: We’re Not Doing It Right!

To Whom It May Concern:

“Count to 5” are the instructions. That’s all you must do. Your teacher sits in front of you with a clipboard and a judgmental look on her face, knowing as a 6th grader you can’t count to 5. Well, you can but you can’t speak. You know the quadratic formula and have memorized every movie you have ever seen in 7 different languages. You are non-speaking, so people think you don’t even know how to read pictures. Your teacher shakes her head and writes on her board. Frustrated, you start to cry and panic, you are dubbed disruptive, and taken out of class. This is the life of a non- speaking student. This was my brother’s life for 12 long years as well as mine. I had to sit by and watch as he would cry every time, we pulled up in the school parking lot. No voice in his education, he would go again and again to school and attempt to count to 5. Even though my family knew he could do so much more. Something had to change. Some might say that kids with special needs don’t know age level curriculum or act out too much to be in a general education setting. I can assure you that they do know the curriculum and should have access to this material as well as a chance to receive a high school diploma. Inclusive education is “holding high expectations and guaranteeing them (special needs kids) access to not only the general education classroom but also age level curriculum to the greatest extent is best practice” (NCIE,2011).

Inclusive education is the best practice by the Nation Center on Inclusive Education after 30 years of research, yet we still seclude kids with special needs. This is because each student is diagnosed with a disability at a young age which defines them for the rest of their lives. Dr. Rachel Morgan, an expert in the special education field and a mom of someone with a disability says ”A decision regarding placement for my son was based on his diagnosis and prior to an initial assessment ...A pre-judgment was made based on communication and learning differences…”(Morgan,pg.5). At the age of 3, kids with special needs are judged and sent away for the rest of their educational career. My brother and my mom had to fight for his education. They had to prove that he was “smart” enough to be in a general classroom like any other kid. This battle is still ongoing, but should it be one that families have to fight? The Education for All Handicapped Children Act of 1975 states, “The ECSE program, by law, has to provide the least restrictive environment for kids with special needs” (ECSE,1975). Yet, over 70% of children receiving special education services were receiving most of their services outside of the regular education setting (Morgan, 2017, pg.4).

In personal experience, the reason this law isn’t followed is that it is up for interpretation. People like my brother who are non-speaking are assumed to know little to nothing because they can’t physically speak what they know. This automatically puts him into a segregated classroom with little to no access to age level curriculum. IEP’s (Individualized Education Program) are a huge part of this issue as well. The development of IEP’s have its own concerns with lack of support from administration and staff along with the IEP being perceived as extra meaningless paperwork with unreasonable demands (Gallaher &Desimone,1995). IEP’s are super important to a child's success. I have sat in a few of my brothers IEP’s and as a team, my parents and staff work together to help my brother achieve his goals. It can be done, that 70% statistic can be made 0%. All that is needed is a change in attitudes and beliefs in these students.

It is important for the administration and family to talk and work together collaboratively so that more non-speaking kids can have the opportunity my brother is blessed with having. Some say that kids with special needs don’t know the curriculum or act out in general education classrooms, so they should just stay segregated. Some medical and psychological professionals say that these behaviors are embedded in their personality. While these professionals tell you that, what they don’t tell you is that they are using this excuse to make money off families who have children with disabilities. “The U.S. mindset shifted after World War II to more of a service economy where special education was seen as a way to make money” (Sailor, 2016 pg.4). This idea has brought on this mentality that more resources, therapy, and professionals are the best option and will “cure” these kids. When in reality, these people just want to waste the family’s money. They don’t need to be cured or fixed. If they are acting up it is because they are frustrated that the people around them see them as broken and something needed to be made right in the first place. How would you feel if someone looked at you like a broken toy with no brain or emotion, just a problem waiting to be solved? With no voice to say anything differently, you just sit there as people say things about you in front of your face like you aren’t there. I know I would be frustrated too. Right now, there is a lot broken in this system. It sets kids like my brother up to fail. Every kid with special needs, verbal or non-verbal, should have access to age-level curriculum and be able to have a high school diploma.

My brother is 18 years old and is part of the class of 2020. He will walk across that stage with a cap and gown and I, along with my family, will be there cheering him on the whole way. We have fought for him to have this, but we shouldn’t have to. My brother wrote a book with other non-speaking adults who talk about their experience. My brother Adam writes, “I am very intelligent…. But showing people that is near impossible...I am trapped inside a body that is broken, my only way of showing you who I really am is through my iPad; it is my voice “(Morgan, pg.49). We aren’t the only ones who have a non-speaking student graduate, getting a real high school diploma. My brother is not an exception but an example, the rule to be followed. I hope that things do change because there are kids who still need help to find their voice. Right now, 2 levels down from this room in a tiny corner of our school, kids are sitting there staring at those same numbers 1-5, internally crying for help. They look up and wish they are sitting in the seats we are and have the same privileges we take for granted every day. These are our fellow classmates, so what are we going to do about it? We need to make it so that one day, they can listen to their families cheer their name as they walk across that stage, diploma in hand, ready to change the world.

Sincerely,

Paige C. Morgan (Sister of Adam Morgan & Sophomore in High School)

Work Cited

Gallagher,J.,& Desimone,L. Topics in Early Childhood Special Education,(1975).

Morgan, Adam J. “My Choice, My Voice, My Right.” Leaders Around Autobiographies of Autistics Who Type,Point,& Spell to Communicate, edited by Edlyn Vallejo Pena, pp. 1–186.

Morgan, Rachel C. “Inclusive Education for Preschool Learners with Autism: A Program Evaluation.” Lindenwood University, Pro Quest, 2017, pp. 1–206.

“The National Center on Inclusive Education Summer Institute.” Ollibean, 10 Nov. 2016. The Education for All Handicapped Children Act, (1975).

#inclusion autism techmakeslifepossible believe presumecompetence notanexception AMF

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bearterritory · 5 years

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Men’s Rugby 5/28/2019 1:45 PM | By: Cal Athletics

Cal Competes For Championship At CRC 7s

Golden Bears Back To Philadelphia Saturday & Sunday

BERKELEY – The Golden Bears compete this weekend at the Penn Mutual Collegiate Rugby 7s Championship in Philadelphia, where California joins the six-pool, 24-team field at Talen Energy Stadium. Cal takes on Indiana at 11:10 a.m. ET to begin play in Pool C Saturday, followed by Colorado at 1:30 p.m. ET and Life at 3:15 p.m. ET. The Bears' first and last matches of pool play are on ESPN+. Other pools at the CRC include Clemson, Lindenwood, Temple and Virginia Tech in Pool A; Notre Dame, Penn State, St. Bonaventure and UCLA in Pool B; Boston College, Iona, Kutztown and Wisconsin in Pool D; Arizona, Fordham, Saint Joseph's and Saint Mary's in Pool E; and Army, Dartmouth, Navy and South Carolina in Pool F. The six pool winners from Saturday's matches will be joined by the two next-best teams in Sunday's championship bracket, culminating with the championship cup final at 4:30 p.m. ET. Television coverage Sunday is on ESPN2 and ESPNEWS. Cal, five-time national 7s champions from 2013-17, has won all three 7s events it has entered so far this year and comes into the 2019 CRC with a season record of 17-0 in the Olympic form of the game. The Bears carry with them an all-time 7s record of 169-18-0 (.903), including an all-time mark of 43-3 (.934) at the CRC. In its pool, Cal has seen Life four times before at the CRC and won them all, beating the Running Eagles in the 2012 bronze medal match, 22-12; the 2013 final, 19-14; the 2015 semifinals, 33-5; and the 2017 final, 19-0. The 2019 CRC will be the first 7s action for the Running Eagles since last year at the same event, when Life went 4-1, beating Notre Dame and Air Force, and Penn State twice, including 12-5 in the quarterfinals, before falling to eventual champion Lindenwood in the semifinals, 17-7. The Bears are 3-0 all-time vs. the Buffaloes in 7s but will be facing them for the first time at the CRC. The Buffs most recently went 3-0 at the Rocky Mountain 7s after advancing to the final of the Las Vegas Invitational 7s in February, when Colorado upset Kutztown, 19-17, in the semis following shutouts of Saint Joseph's and Clemson. Cal bested Indiana in both their previous meetings in 7s, winning in the 2017 CRC semifinals, 29-14, and in pool play at the 2018 USAR 7s, 34-14. The Hoosiers enter the 2019 CRC coming out of the Big 10 7s series this spring, highlighted a 4-2 showing at the Northwestern 7s. Indiana most recently competed at the USAR College 7s, where the Hoosiers' highlights were wins over USC, 27-10, and Arkansas, 15-12. The student-athletes selected for Cal's CRC campaign are led by senior captain Nic Mirhashem, a member of Cal's 2017 CRC championship team as a sophomore. Senior Troy Lockyear, a 2018 All-American, is set to compete in his first CRC, as is senior Elliot Webb, whose brother Russell is now an international player for Hong Kong after captaining Cal's 2017 CRC championship team in his final season. Selections from the Bears' junior class start with Sam Cusano, MVP of the 2017 CRC (pictured above), and continue with Christian Dyer, set to make his second trip to Philadelphia. Ken Kurihara, who contributed three tries and six conversions to Cal's 2018 PAC 7s title, will play in his first CRC. Half the Bears' squad is comprised of frosh-sophs, from sophomores Sam Golla, Adam Roeske and Marcus Shankland, to freshmen Henry Poon, Sam Walsh and Jason Severance. All members of Cal's most recent PAC 7s championship team, they will be playing in their first national 7s postseason with the exception of Shankland, who competed at the 2018 USAR College 7s. "It has been a long season, but this always an exciting way to wrap things up," said head coach Jack Clark. "Half of our 12 players have never participated in the CRC, which results in us being overall inexperience for the task at hand. This said, the team is looking forward to the challenge. A member of the U.S. Rugby Hall of Fame, Clark leads the Golden Bears with a fellow Hall of Famer in associate head coach Tom Billups. Together, they have coached the Bears throughout their nascent 7s history and all five of Cal's national 7s titles. Cal's first CRC championship team in 2013 included future USA Olympian Danny Barrett, who excelled on the international stage at the 2016 Summer Games in Rio and is poised once again to represented the United States at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics.

#Cal #Go Bears #UC Berkeley #Cal Rugby #Golden Bears #Sam Cusano #Christian Dyer #Cal Berkeley #Bear Territory #Ken Kurihara #Cal Bears #Jack Clark #Tom Billups

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illbefinealonereads · 4 years

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Today we’re talking about A Love Hate Thing by Whitney D. Grandison. Scroll down for more information about the book, my spoiler-free review and an excerpt.

A Love Hate Thing Whitney D. Grandison On Sale Date: January 7, 2020 Inkyard Press 9781335016041, 133501604X Hardcover $18.99 USD, $23.99 CAD Young Adult Fiction / Romance / Contemporary Ages 13 And Up 464 pages

Summary:

A fantastic enemies to lovers romance about an It girl whose world is upended when a boy from the past moves into her house after tragedy strikes. For fans of Ibi Zoboi's Pride, Mary H. K. Choi and Samira Ahmed. Wattpad author Whitney D. Grandison's traditional publishing debut.

When they're stuck under one roof, the house may not be big enough for their hate…or their love

When Tyson Trice finds himself tossed into the affluent coastal community of Pacific Hills, he’s ready for the questions, the stares, and the total feeling of not belonging in the posh suburb. Not that he cares. After recovering from being shot and surviving the mean streets of Lindenwood, he doesn’t care about anyone or anything. He doesn’t even care how the rest of his life will play out.

In Pacific Hills, image is everything. Something that, as the resident golden girl, Nandy Smith knows all too well. She’s spent most of her life building the pristine image that it takes to fit in. After learning that her parents are taking in a former childhood friend, Nandy fears her summer plans, as well as her reputation, will go up in flames. It’s the start of summer vacation and the last thing Nandy needs is some juvenile delinquent from the ’Wood crashing into her world.

Stuck together in close quarters, Trice and Nandy are in for some long summer nights. Only, with the ever-present pull back to the Lindenwood streets, it’ll be a wonder if Trice makes it through this summer at all.

Buy Links:

Harlequin Amazon Barnes & Noble Indie Bound Kobo Books-a-Million Google Play

About the Author:

Whitney D. Grandison was born and raised in Akron, Ohio, where she currently resides. A lover of stories since she first picked up a book, it’s no surprise she’s taken to writing her own. Some of her works can be found on Wattpad, one of the largest online story sharing platforms, where she has acquired over 30,000 followers and an audience of over fifteen million dedicated readers.

Instagram: @wheadee Twitter: @whitney_DG

Genre: Young Adult, Contemporary, Romance

Rating: 4/5 stars

Review: This was an exceptionally enjoyable read for me. I really liked the characters. Trice was so perfectly developed and brought to the page. Nandy seemed to be set as an opposite to Trice, and I really liked their interactions. A lot in this book was well executed. I really enjoyed the dynamics between the characters, as well as the writing. The plot was okay, but the connection I felt to the characters allowed me to keep reading. I have to note though that the pacing didn’t work for me, it felt a bit inconsistent. However, I liked the story, and I really wanted to see how it would turn out in the end.

Excerpt

1 | TRICE

Getting shot isn’t the worst part. It’s the aftermath that really fucks you up.

Six months ago, on a dark December night, I was lying in a pool of my own blood on the living room floor. Six months later, I was sitting in a car on the way to a new town to start fresh. In some ways, yeah, the wound had healed. In others, it never would. I didn’t care, though. The last thing I’d cared about got me where I was.

“You’ll like it there, Tyson. The Smiths have prepared a new home for you,” Misty from social services was saying as she drove the long stretch of highway toward Pacific Hills. It was only an hour away from where I used to live in Lindenwood, California.

I didn’t respond. Home was a meaningless word to me now.

Misty peeked at me. “Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“I can leave as soon as I turn eighteen, right?” That was all that mattered. Fuck the rest. Five months, aka one hundred and sixty days, to go. On November twelfth, I’d be free.

Misty sighed. “Look, I know what you’re going through—”

“Word? You’ve been shot too and all’at?” I glanced her way. This lady was going home to a million-thread-count sheet-and-pillowcase set, resting easy once I was off her hands.

Fuck outta here.

“Well, no, but—”

“Then shut up.” I faced the road ahead, done talking.

Misty let out a breath, her light tan skin no doubt holding a blush upon her cheeks. “Do you kiss your—” She caught herself, as if realizing where she was about to go. “I—I’m sorry. You just shouldn’t speak that way.”

I felt an ache in my chest, but I let it go.

I didn’t care.

Half a beat later Misty was rambling on about food. “Do you wanna stop and get something to eat, you must be starving.”

“I told you I wasn’t hungry.”

“Oh, well, are you nervous?”

I hadn’t thought about being nervous or the fact that I would never return home again and lead a normal life. Not like I’d ever led one to begin with.

“No.”

“Well, good. Think of it as going to a sleepover at an old friend’s house.”

One thing was true, the Smiths were old friends, but this setup was for the next five months.

“It’s been ten years since I last saw them,” I spoke up. “This ain’t no damn sleepover, and it’s not about to be all kumbaya, neither.”

At least they were black. Moving into the uppity setting of Pacific Hills was sure to be hell, but at least I would be with a black family. Even if I wouldn’t exactly fit in.

I didn’t look the same. I didn’t act the same. I wasn’t the same. And I didn’t care.

“Tyson—”

“It’s Trice.” I had asked her to call me that from jump street. No one called me Tyson.

I didn’t want to think about that. I didn’t want to think about anything. I didn’t care.

“Trice, please, try? I know it’s been rough these past few months, but you have a chance at something fresh. The Smiths are good people, and Pacific Hills is a lovely town. I’m sure soon you’ll be close to your old self.”

Misty had no clue what she was talking about. My old self? She obviously hadn’t paid attention to my file, or she would’ve been smart enough to leave it at fresh and not bring up my past.

Tyson Trice was dead.

He died on the floor in the living room that day, and he was never coming back.

When I didn’t respond, Misty let up, probably getting that I didn’t give a shit either way.

I didn’t care.

2 | Nandy

I told myself I didn’t care about the juvenile delinquent my parents were moving into our home. I told myself it was no big deal an ex-con would be sleeping right next door to me. I told myself that my parents hadn’t made the worst decision in everdom.

It was just an everyday occurrence in the Smith household.

Still, it wasn’t fair.

As I paced around the pool in my backyard and complained to my best friend, Erica Yee, over the phone, I expected her to be on my side and console me.

“This was supposed to be a great summer and they pull this?” I whined.

“You can still have a good summer,” Erica responded. “This doesn’t have to be the end.”

But it was the end. My parents hadn’t gone into detail about the boy’s situation, just that he was in a “rough spot” and would be living with us for now. And that he was from Lindenwood, otherwise known as the ghetto.

I’d never gone there, but I’d heard enough stories to know to be cautious. When my parents watched the news, there was always a segment on some tragedy that had happened in Lindenwood. Some high-speed chase, or little kids killed during a drive-by, or a robbery gone wrong among the usual clutter of crime that kept the LPD busy. Lindenwood was notorious for its drugs, thefts, assaults, and murders.

I shivered.

It probably hadn’t been the best idea to stay up lurking on the local news feeds right before the delinquent moved in.

Everything would be ruined.

“It is the end,” I insisted. “I mean, they spent all this time whispering and having these hushed conversations behind closed doors, and they barely revealed last night that he’s from Lindenwood!”

Maybe I was acting childishly, but I felt like a kid with the way my parents had shut me out on the biggest detail of all when it came to the boy coming to stay with us out of nowhere. For two weeks, they’d been scarce on the topic and evaded any and all questions. Now it felt like they’d dropped a bomb on me.

For all I knew, this kid was a total ex-gangbanger and my parents were intent on opening our home to wayward souls.

Dramatic? Sure.

Precautions? I was definitely taking them.

“Right now, you’re probably pacing around your pool ina Gucci bikini while your happily-in-love parents are inside preparing dinner together. God, Nan, your life is incredibly boring. You could use this delinquent to spice things up.”

Well, it was a Sunday evening, and the sun was beginning to set. My parents always made dinner together on Sundays, because they were both off work and able to do so.

I stopped pacing and glanced down at my white Gucci bikini. “Yee, you try new hobbies to spice things up, not invite ex-cons to move in with you. Look, whatever, let’s just get away for a few hours. The longer I put a halt on this, the better.”

“When is he supposed to show up?”

“Sometime today. I just wanna blow it off. Maybe you, me, and Chad could grab a bite at the club or something.”

My boyfriend’s family had a reserved table at the local country club. Anything would be better than dinner with the delinquent. I wasn’t 100 percent sure he was a criminal, but I wasn’t taking any chances. When it came to Lindenwood, you couldn’t be too sure.

“You in?” I asked.

“If we must.” Erica pretended to sound exasperated. “Call me with the details in twenty, okay?”

“Deal.” I hung up and sighed, tilting my head back toward the darkening sky and questioning what I had done to deserve this.

It was the first week of June, and school had ended last week. I intended to spend this summer before senior year going to beach bonfires and parties with my friends, lounging around, preparing for cotillion, and just staying as far away from home as possible.

With a plan in motion, I went around my pool and stepped into our family room through the patio doors.

“Shit!” I jumped back, dropping my phone and barely registering the sound of its rough slap against the hardwood floor.

My parents were standing in the room with an Asian woman who was dressed in a violet-red pantsuit. But it was the boy beside her that startled me. He towered over my father, with broad shoulders and a wide chest, and arms that let me know he worked out, even though he seemed drenched in black with his long-sleeved shirt and matching pants. He had deep, dark brown skin with a clean complexion. But what really stood out was his hair. The boy had cornrows braided to the back of his head—well-aged cornrows.

Ugh, he looked so unpolished.

Suddenly I remembered my fallen phone and looked down to discover the screen was cracked. Because things aren’t messed up enough already.

“And you remember our daughter, Nandy.” My mother played it cool, gesturing toward where I’d frozen near the patio doors.

Everyone faced me, looking just as uncomfortable as I felt.

Great, I was making my first impression completely inappropriate in a bikini.

Awkwardly, I waved and forced a smile onto my face, showing off the result of two years of braces.

“Nandy, this may be a little bit of a surprise, but you remember Tyson Trice, don’t you?” my father asked, looking between the two of us.

At first, the name vaguely rang a bell, but then it hit me. Tyson, the boy I’d played with when I was younger. He used to come by in the summers when his grandfather would do lawn work around our subdivision. There’d been a few times during the school year when he’d come by too, but it was mostly a summer thing. Until he stopped coming altogether.

The revelation brought a sense of relief followed quickly by a foreign anger that I couldn’t explain.

That was then; this is now.

Now Tyson Trice had hit a mega growth spurt and stood before me nearly a man, appearing not at all like the seventeen years young that we both were.

“Right.” I nodded my head. “Tyson, hey.”

Tyson didn’t shift focus to my body. He stared straight into my eyes and bore no friendly expression or a tell of what he was thinking. He was far across the room, but I didn’t need to be right up on him to know that he had the angriest eyes I’d ever seen. Dark, soulless abysses stared at me, making me shiver.

Right on, Dad. Thanks for inviting a possible murderer into our home.

“And this is our son, Jordy.” My mother didn’t miss a beat as she went on, downplaying how awkward everything was.

Jordy, my eleven-year-old little brother, was sitting against the ottoman, playing a video game on his handheld.

Tyson glanced at Jordy, and I felt protective, seeing curiosity briefly cross his face as he laid eyes on my Thai brother.

Jordy looked up from his game. “Hey.”

Tyson lifted a brow and turned to face my parents in that familiar way most outsiders looked at my family once they realized a black family was raising a Thai son.

Jordy smirked, shaking his head. “They wish they could’ve spawned a kid as good‑looking as me.”

My father chuckled. “We spoke about adopting for years after having Nandy, and right around the time she was eight, we got approved and Jordy came into our lives.”

“He was just two years old,” my mother gushed. “He was so adorable, we fell in love with him instantly.”

I came more into the room, wanting to shield my brother from Tyson. Someone had to think of the kids.

“Nandy, why don’t you go put some clothes on.” It wasn’t a question. My mother was ordering me to cover up and look more presentable for our guests.

“I was actually on my way out to meet up with Erica, we’ve got this—”

“Right now?” she asked. “We’ve got company.”

I glanced at Tyson, hating him again for spoiling my summer. I’d seen him, and I’d spoken to him. What more did she want?

“Yeah, but Erica and I had plans to go to the country club and talk about cotillion.”

My mother pursed her lips. “Nandy—”

“You know what,” my father stepped in, “that’s a great idea. Nandy could take Tyson and the two could get reacquainted, and that’ll give us time to talk to Ms. Tran here.”

My eyes practically shot out of their sockets. There was no way in hell I’d share a car with Tyson.

After thinking it over, my mother seemed to agree. “That is a great idea. We can all sit down together later.”

My jaw hit the ground.

I shook my head. “You know, never mind, suddenly I’m not as hungry as I thought. In fact, I feel sick to my stomach. I think I’ll go lie down.”

By the way my mother narrowed her eyes, I knew she’d be giving me hell later about my behavior. I didn’t care. It wasn’t fair to me to force some scary-looking guy into my hands to be babysat.

With one final look at the newest arrival to the Smith household, I picked up my phone from the floor and made my way up to my room.

Long after Ms. Tran had left and my mother had scolded me in our family office, I sat in my room, maneuvering witha broken phone as I texted my boyfriend. Going on a hunger strike didn’t last long for me. After having refused to go down for dinner, I was starving.

My cell phone chirped as Chad texted me back.

Chad: Outside

Me: Thank God

My parents were probably still up, no doubt discussing either my punishment or how we were going to work Tyson into the family.

With their bedroom being in a different wing of our house, sneaking out was always an easy feat. Still, I made sure to keep extra quiet as I crept out of my room and slipped down the staircase.

Chad was waiting for me out front. He’d been pacing back and forth in front of our walk as he waited, and as I stepped outside I was elated to see him.

“I’m thinking sushi, you in?” I asked as I walked past him, heading for his car.

“Yeah, sure. What’s going on?” Chad asked as he caught up to me and fell into step.

I peered up into his blue eyes. “You don’t want to know.”

Chad ran a hand through his auburn hair, appearing confused but conceding. “O-kay, let’s go get some sushi.”

At the feeling of being watched, I glanced back at my house. On the second floor, through one of the large bay windows, I caught sight of a silhouetted figure.

It was him.

Creep.

I turned back to Chad and reached out and caught his hand. “Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

This was my summer, and no one was getting in the way of that.

#blog tour #review #excerpt #a love hate thing #whitney d grandison #out2020 #read2019 #ynaall #yna4 #contempall #contemp4 #romall #rom4

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eurekacollege · 4 years

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New Staff Spotlight: Elizabeth Peters

1. Describe the highlights of your job.

The biggest highlight of my job is being able to make the call to an applicant and tell them they have been accepted to Eureka and most importantly accepted to college in general. it is a big time in their life and it is so exciting to be a part of that process for them.

2. Please share, if you would, about your background, family, interests and hobbies. What is one interesting fact that perhaps no one knows about you?

I am from St. Louis and I am a huge St. Louis Blues fan. I have been pretty much my whole life. One of the happiest days of my life was when they finally won the Stanley Cup this past summer. The majority of my family lives in St. Louis and Indianapolis so I am in a great middle point from them here! I went to Lindenwood University in St. Charles, Missouri where I worked as an RA for two and a half years so I have plenty of funny stories to tell from that experience if anyone ever asks. I was also at Lindenwood on a choir scholarship, although I did dance for 15 years of my life as well. An interesting fact about me is that almost every time I see my best friend Tori we have a tradition where we have to bake a pie.

3. What attracted you to Eureka College?

What attracted me to Eureka College was the family atmosphere. I knew I was going to move to central Illinois before I got this position and it was scary to think about the transition in life I was making. When I went on my first campus tour I felt at home and after interacting with the staff for the first time I knew I would have a great team to lean on here.

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buddyrabrahams · 5 years

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10 NFL free agents who could be great bargains

NFL free agency is nearly upon us, which means there’s blood in the water and the sharks are about to frenzy. It’s one of the most exciting and fast-paced times in American sports, and there’s never any shortages of surprises and letdowns.

Every year, a new crop of players find themselves on the open market and moving to a new location. Some are paid handsomely, while others are barely paid. However, like a treasure hunt, there are diamonds to be found in the rough. With that in mind, let’s take a look at 10 NFL free agents who could come at bargain prices.

10. Tyrell Williams, wide receiver

From Golden Tate to Kelvin Benjamin, there are quite a few talented wide receivers who will be available in 2019. If you were to include possible trades of Odell Beckham Jr. and Antonio Brown, the market becomes even more saturated. As a result, players like Tyrell Williams will fly under-the-radar and eventually turn into a financial steal for some team. The 6-foot-4, 205-pound Williams has been a role player for much of his career with the Chargers, but he was able to break out in 2016 to the tune of 1,059 yards and seven touchdowns, which is a good example of what he’s capable of in a more substantial role. Not only does Williams have the size to make him a matchup nightmare, but he also has good speed and can stretch the field. In the right system, don’t be surprised to see Williams back over 1,000 yards in 2019.

9. Bilal Powell, running back

There are a ton of big-name running backs about to hit the market, and therefore the overall price at the position will be driven down. So how does Bilal Powell make this list, you ask? Save for Marshawn Lynch, there is not a harder runner who will become available in 2019 than Powell. While he is more on the smaller side (5-foot-10, 200 pounds), Powell gives 100 percent effort on every run. If you were to turn on his film, there’d be no mistaking it. Prior to his injury-riddled 2018 campaign, Powell excelled as a change-of-pace back for the Jets, running it North-South between the tackles when he had to, cutting it outside if he saw an opportunity, and providing a solid weapon out of the backfield for his quarterback. Powell is also a sound pass protector who can pick up blitzes and serves as a great locker-room presence. He may be getting older (30) and coming off a neck injury, but there’s still a place for him in the NFL.

8. Jason Verrett, cornerback

Verrett’s career has been plagued by injuries. Since being drafted in the first round by the Chargers in 2014, the cornerback has played in just 25 games. He played in four games in 2016 before suffering a torn ACL injury. Then he underwent surgery the following season and was limited to one game, and he missed all of last season after tearing his Achilles’ tendon over the summer. With a year off to recover, Verrett may be ready to go for the start of the season. Richard Sherman proved that a cornerback can successfully return from a torn Achilles, so maybe the same will be the case for Verrett. Someone will be sure to take a chance on him given how good he is when healthy — he made the Pro Bowl in 2015, his only full season. It’s possible that the Chargers will try to re-sign him.

7. Pierre Desir, cornerback

If you were to talk to any Colts reporter or fan, they would tell you that Pierre Desir is one of the most underrated players in the AFC. A fourth-round pick in 2014, it took Desir some time to catch up to the NFL game after spending his college years at Lindenwood University, but over the past two seasons, he’s certainly rounded into shape and is still ascending. The 28-year-old Desir brings the size (6-foot-1, 200 pounds) necessary to the cornerback position, and complements that with good speed, good ball skills and good instincts. Having appeared in 25 games with 18 starts over the previous two years, Desir also now has the invaluable on-field experience to carry with him wherever he goes.

6. Austin Seferian-Jenkins, tight end

Austin Seferian-Jenkins isn’t going to enter free agency with any highlights around his name after hauling in just 11 receptions for 90 yards and one touchdown a season ago before being placed on season-ending injured reserve. However, with a limited tight end market, Seferian-Jenkins may prove to be a quality second-tier option if he finds himself in the right system. Before flailing with the Jaguars, Seferian-Jenkins had a career-best season with the Jets in 2017, proving that there was at least some meat on the bone. And if interested teams want some reassurances before signing him, they need look no further than Eric Ebron, who flashed at times in Detroit before erupting in the right offensive system with the Colts. Seferian-Jenkins may not be on Ebron’s level, but the same sort of turnaround potential exists.

5. Adrian Phillips, safety/linebacker

Adrian Phillips may have gone to the Pro Bowl in 2018 and been named a First Team All-Pro, but with safeties like Earl Thomas, Landon Collins and Tyrann Mathieu likely becoming available, there’s little doubt he will be somewhat overlooked and not command the sort of high-dollar others will. But that’s exactly why he will be a bargain. Phillips isn’t quite at household name level, but he’s rapidly approaching it after a season in which he appeared in 16 games, recorded just shy of 100 tackles graded out above average via Pro Football Focus. Although not much of a ballhawk, Phillips can play the strong safety role to perfection and fill in as a hybrid linebacker when called upon. He’s great along the line of scrimmage and the perfect match for a team that needs a run-stopping player in their secondary.

4. Shane Ray, EDGE rusher

Shane Ray has seen his production and playing time decrease over the past three seasons due to injury, inconsistency and other flux in Denver, but at just 25 years of age, there’s still potential locked away inside the 2015 first-round pick. However, because of how poorly the numbers look, Ray should expect a one-year, prove-it deal in 2019, which could turn out to be a good gamble on himself and, obviously, a big bargain for another team. If Ray is able to find a defense that fits his style of play and a defensive coordinator that knows how to use him correctly, the edge rusher could turn his career back around. His potential flashed in 2016 when he recorded eight sacks and recovered two fumbles, but in his three other seasons combined, he’s recorded just a total of six sacks. Ray is a high-risk, high-reward kind of player that just needs the ideal fit.

3. Justin Coleman, cornerback

Justin Coleman had bounced around the league since signing as an undrafted rookie free agent in 2015, but found himself a home in Seattle over the last two seasons, having appeared in 32 games (10 starts) while recording three interceptions and 19 passes defensed. At 5-foot-11 and 190 pounds, Coleman isn’t going to be considered a No. 1 cornerback on the outside, but he has carved out a niche for himself as a quality nickel corner — a position far more valuable in today’s NFL. Coleman also finished the 2018 campaign with an above average grade courtesy of Pro Football Focus, which is a testament to how far he’s come over the previous four seasons. At the end of the day, Coleman shouldn’t expect a mega deal, but he’ll get a quality contract on the secondary market and position himself to make more money moving forward if he can continue to improve his game.

2. Adam Humphries, wide receiver

Adam Humphries finds himself in a similar situation to the aforementioned Tyrell Williams, having served mostly as a role player throughout his career despite a few flashes of brilliance. He has seen his production increase over each of his four seasons in the NFL, culminating with a 816-yard, five-touchdown performance in 2018. However, Humphries excels in the slot role, which tends to get underrated a bit as team search for field-stretching outside receivers. Accordingly, Humphries may go a bit overlooked once he hits the open market in March, but as the top tier wide receivers find new homes, his name will become more and more prevalent. Should Humphries land with a good team, in an ideal system and with an offensive coordinator capable of using his skill properly, there’s little doubt he could turn into a game-changing 1,000-yard receiver from the inside and leave all teams that passed him over wondering what could have been.

1. Spencer Ware, running back

Le’Veon Bell, Mark Ingram, Jay Ajayi and several others are the reason Spencer Ware takes the No. 1 spot on this list. In any other year, he may be considered the cream of the free agent running back crop, but here in 2019, he’s at the bottom of the top 10 and therefore isn’t going to command maximum dollars once the new league year begins. That may not be great news for Ware, but it will be great news for a team in need of a bargain running back capable of stepping in and taking over as the bell cow if need be. In 40 career games (38 with the Chiefs), Ware has rushed for nearly 1,600 yards and 11 touchdowns while averaging 4.6 yards per carry. He also provides a strong option out of the backfield, serving as a multiple threat in a high-powered offense. Overshadowed due to remarkable offensive talent in Kansas City, Ware should be able to sign elsewhere at a low cost and prove that he’s not just a system back, but a quality player deserving of the No. 1 role.

from Larry Brown Sports https://ift.tt/2VfJCwc

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technicalsolutions88 · 6 years

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[Sponsor message]

Hey KIDS!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘hey kids’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Exciting News!

First up: Exciting news! We’re going to be migrating the Club Newsletter to a new format from next month that will be delivered in person! In virtual reality! This means you’ll be able to feel like I’m sitting right next to you saying this stuff right in your face instead of just passively reading it off a screen and maybe getting distracted by other less important stuff. Myself and your Totally Lost Boys (TLB) Club Committee are so excited that we can bring you this amazing experience before any other Youth Club in the world! #awesome

Here’s a taster from a VR trip I took recently to check out the totally awful devastation in Puerto Rico:

Now you’re probably asking how can we bring this exciting new technology to your friendly neighborhood Youth Club, right?! I’m pleased to say that the 2,500% increase in Newsletter Sponsor Messages over the past ~two months has really helped bulk up the Club Money Pool. Rest assured, we’re ploughing all these revenues into product development to continue to make BH&FA YC the most innovative Youth Club on Planet Earth!

Of course we don’t want the Club to fall behind Lindenwood or Farm Hills YC either, which — as we’ve told you in recent Newsletters — have been busy developing ‘innovative’ newsletter solutions of their own. (I say ‘innovative’ but we all know the YC of MZ Yours Truly is the real innovator around these hills!!) But — and it’s a BIG ONE kids! — if the Club Committee were to allow another club to get ahead of BH&FA (brisket forbid!!!), say by offering better Member facilities, then we’d risk Membership declining — instead of benefiting from the continued year-on-year growth that _we_all_enjoy_. It would also mean less money for the Club Treasurer to spend on buying up neighborhood housing to knock down in order to expand the size of the Clubhouse and keep you all entertained right here on campus! And you really don’t want to be bored do you?! (NB: The date for opening the infinity pool waterpark is still tbc. We found a leak on several floors and given there’s a risk of electrical fire death if we get this wrong it’s taking a little longer than hoped.)

Of course the impending mandatory migration to VR Newsletters also means we’ll be able to bring you more immersive Newsletter Sponsor Messages in future! YAY! Which will be great for the Club Money Pool too. So double YAY!

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Of course we know that not everyone in Our Community has had a chance to purchase our great Oculus Rift VR headset yet :( Only 0.3% of you have done so! :((( Even though we’ve made sure to tell you all about how great it is for, like, the past several years. (You’ll remember we also ran VR Summer Club Camp last year in Black Chasm Cave. However attendance averaged <1% — and there was that unfortunate incident with the toxic frog — so your Club Committee knows it has a lot more work to do!). So, after a long talk at our last #awesome TLB Brisket Cook-OutMZ I’m really excited to announce an amazing Discount for Club Members that have shown the most dedication to Our Community over the years! This means all of you will very soon enjoy the benefits of Oculus VR! Zero excuses!

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

(NB: If you’re wondering how exactly we’ll be calculating personalized Oculus discounts we can tell you it involves a proprietary formula that Your Club Committee developed based on your lifelong Participation & Attendance Metrics (PAM). We can’t say too much, in case the formula were to be maliciously leaked to Lindenwood — or even, brisket forbid! Staumbaugh Heller!!! — (NBNB: For a reminder about penalties for leaking proprietary Club Information see the base of this newsletter; but, tl;dr, don’t do it!!! Remember the Club Motto: ‘Speak Don’t leak!’).

What we CAN tell you is we’ve been busy number-crunching PAM for the past several years, and those Club Members who have shown not just a consistent commitment to Our Community (which is mandatory) but who have shared their increasing enthusiasm for the Club Program (which Your TLB obviously works 24/7 to bring you!) will be given the biggest discounts — of up to 6.8%! Everyone else will get a smaller discount (based on your unique PAM-based relationship with the Club Program). So basically you only have yourselves to blame if you get offered a discount of sub-0.5%. (And don’t forget we’ll be sharing PAM scores with parents/guardians at the upcoming mandatory BH&FA Club Regulations Awareness Program.)

As you know, Membership of the Club is dependent upon reading Our Newsletter — which includes all Our Sponsor Messages. (Our Sponsors wouldn’t pay us if you didn’t read their messages now would they!?!) So unfortunately Your Club Committee is prepared to say goodbye to any Members who aren’t able to access the Newsletter in future. (NB: Saying you don’t have a VR headset will absolutely not be an acceptable excuse!!! We are, however, open to suggestions for expanding cross-platform support if Members have already bought other VR headsets. (Although we might question your loyalty to BH&FA YC if you do that!!! ;)))

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Your Awesome TLB Club Committee Update!

So what’s on the boys’ discussion agenda this week Mark!?!

[Boztank pls insert fun ‘yakety-yak’ GIF here]

Mmmmmm! Just getting ready for some more crispy brisket!

[Sponsor message]

Okay, time for the customary run down of Important Issues Your TLB is really busy managing around the BBQ while you guys kick back and do wtf you like on campus… Mmm brisket! #Brisket #CookOut #Meat #Mmmm

Participation & Engagement Metrics — as you should really know by now Your Committee’s ‘prime directive’ is 100% attendance & program engagement at all times! PAM! PAM! So frankly you guys are always a total disappointment :( BUT! — this week Boztank said he’s going to bring some of his special Ideas Envelopes for us to push around while we’re BBQing brisket — so consider yourselves totally warned!!!! PAM! PAM!

Takeover of Woodside Heights YC — yes we are still finalizing our takeover of Woodside Heights. But we now expect members to be migrated to BH&FA by 06:00 on Saturday 4 at the very latest. Issues we have encountered with the migration include some outgoing Woodside members objecting to the razing of their Clubhouse and the mandatory requirement to travel to BH&FA’s campus because it’s so much further away from where they live and their moms and pops are at work so can’t always taxi them over. However we have pointed out that the facilities we offer here are by far superior. Sheryl has been working super hard (including on Saturdays) to get the message to Woodside parents that their kids will absolutely have the best development opportunities at BH&FA. To ease the transition we have also decided to offer Uber coupons (valid: Tuesday afternoons, for two weeks of August) and some pretty substantial Oculus discounts — although both are provisional on the new recruits completing a Club Reorientation Attendance Probation period of no less than 180 months (achieving weekly PAM average of 95.8%). (So if you hear them say ‘Oh CRAP’ you’ll know why.) We’ll be discussing ideas for hazing the newbs in a forthcoming Newsletter. So stay tuned! And get ready to burn all that Woodside Heights smoke out of em!!!

Parental Concern — unfortunately we have been informed that a few responsible adults have been expressing concern over what Members might have been exposed to via the Club Program. We are investigating to determine whether there are any identifiable issues of concern, and so far have compiled a list of about ~2,500,000 items for possible follow-up — including reports of screenings of human beheadings in the cinema; animal torture in the yard; misogynistic graffiti all over the place; human trafficking; and even bomb-making classes and/or fascist memorabilia being distributed by a small number of members (!!!). While some of this stuff does sound kind of alarming, in truth we’re generally pretty stoked about the rich diversity of expression that’s evidently thriving within Our Community. Although we are still investigating to determine whether there are any specific issues we need to follow up on — like, in case we need to add an additional rule to our strict ‘Zero Nudity (no, not even fine art or war reportage nudes you sick f—)’ Club Policy. We’ll keep you posted if we decide to amend the Charter. But for now we just ask that you carry on being your richly expressive selves. (As we like to say on the Committee: ‘If you feel it, f—ing say it!!!!’)

Member Behavior — it has also come to our attention that a small number of Members have been getting increasingly loud and disruptive on campus. However, in the BH&FA YC Founding Charter, we do make it very clear that any attempts to curtail or moderate freedom of expression will _not_be _at_all_ tolerated_. We therefore want to reassure all Club Members that when you are here, under our watchful care, you can say anything at all you want to anyone you fancy — no matter how horribly wrong or hurtful it might be. (As the TLB like to say at the start of a Cook-Out when we’re fighting over whose turn it is to poke the fire: ‘Sticks & stones will break your bones but names can never hurt you!’). That said, we have noticed an uptick in some very nasty name calling; blatantly false and/or ridiculous rumors (no, my parents were not lizards!!!); and people trying to start *actual* fights and/or fires during Club Events. One particularly unruly member — who shall remain nameless (but rest assured We Know Who You Are!!! NB: We discuss this person’s behavior in more detail below, in our Newsletter ‘Hard Issue of The Day’ — and who, let it be known, we also know has a record of threatening behavior outside the Club (because Sheryl read about it in the Menlo Park Tribune)), has been passing off some very ‘creative fictions’ on campus — we suspect as a sort of post-modern art project. But still, we’re keeping an eye out. For example, Adam says he’s seen instances of this person telling others in Our Community that Members’ dead relations didn’t really exist at all, and, furthermore, that corpses laid out in the morgue were just so-called ‘crisis actors’ paid by kids’ parents to pretend to like them. While we’re admittedly impressed with the avant-garde creativity of this particular Member, we recognize that they have also been saying a lot of other absolute tosh — like that flu shots give you cancer or make you gay or turn you into a toxic frog. And that President Trump is the literal lovechild of a Republican Senator (who we’re not naming for libel reasons) and the Angel Gabriel. Like, frankly speaking, we’ve lost track of the amount of garbage this particular Member has been spouting but that’s 100% okay because keeping track of how Members freely expressing themselves is totally not our job at all. We’re just here to make sure the BH&FA campus is massive enough to house all the billions of Members that now make up our richly diverse Community — which also means making sure Our Club Charter enshrines an absolute right to be an utter f— to anyone you please. Kids, we really can’t start cherry picking or where would it end?! The bottom line is that here at BH&FA YC, Your Committee is proud to preside over a marketplace of brainfarts of every possible flavor, toxic or otherwise. So we would like to take this opportunity to remind Members about our very firm *non-discrimination policy* — of welcoming absolutely anyone as a Member, no matter how disgusting your personal views. (And, sheesh, you kids really do have some pretty icky stuff on your mind sometimes!!!) Your Committee would also like to suggest all Members reread Boztank’s 2009 addendum to the Club Charter (entitled: ‘Why you kids need to learn to suck it up’). The TLBs never let anything as non-formulaic as emotional distress get in the way of the campus expansion roadmap. After all, we’ve got a mission to bring the benefits of BH&FA to every person (*13 years or older*) ON THE PLANET! (Shoot for 100% or kill everyone trying!!! — as we like to joke around the BBQ! Or as Boztank’s knuckle tattoo actually reads: ‘We grow PAM, period.’ So, as ever, eyes on the bigger prize, kids.)

Brisket cook out! — yes! It’s back by popular demand! This time I will personally be bringing a small herd of live Dexter cows on campus and everyone will watch while I tear them apart with my bare hands. Chunks of brisket will be distributed according to the standard Club Formula and each Member will be responsible for cooking their own chunk (or not!). But please no squabbling over the meat!!! And definitely no pushing! You can shout insults at each other in the hopes of being able to distract another Member and grab yourself a tastier chunk but do please keep acts of physical aggression *off campus*. It’s a waste of energy anyways as everyone will definitely get some brisket, even if not everyone can get the delicious deep pectoral I will personally be chowing down on. (It is, however, inevitable that some members will have to wait longer than others to get some meat. But given Our Community is now 2.5BN Members strong & counting! — suck that up Staumbaugh Heller!!! >:-) — we absolutely must have a formula to manage the distribution of the Club Program, fair or otherwise. NB: Having a formula is the important bit, kids. As your parents should tell you, that’s called ‘Leadership’.)

Proposal to livestream the urinals — as part of our ‘Next-Gen YC 2.0 Moving Fwd Brainfart Sessions 2018 Summer Season Sponsored by Y Combinator’ Boztank suggested the (IMO) pretty wild idea of putting a livestreaming unit in the urinals (!) — pointing down at the pee stream. He thinks it could be a good idea to collect yet another data-point on top of the ~hundreds of thousands we already record per Member for some interesting new engagement metric that we haven’t bothered to think of yet. We’ll let you know at least a day in advance if we decide to move forward with this plan. (NB: We’re still discussing whether it’s a good idea to livestream the girls’ toilets. Or we might just unilaterally replace all Club loos with unisex urinals. tbc). tbh the urinal idea was a lot better than Boz’s other suggestion which was a livestreamed ‘loudest fart’ competition. We might revisit that next fall, for our next Camp Cook-Out

Committee ‘Diversity’ — we are aware that some Members are continuing to complain about the lack of so-called ‘diversity’ on the TLB Committee. However we would point out we are a truly open-minded bunch of — yes, okay, sure, whatevs — entirely white guys but who are nonetheless willing to entertain the wild and crazy notion that there’s no box at all to think inside of. So, frankly, we don’t understand what your problem is. Also we’re not *all* guys — that’s what Sheryl’s here for

‘Leadership elections’ — it has also come to our attention that a very small number of Club Members have been spreading some very malicious, gossipy and totally fake rumors claiming the Club Charter is going to be rewritten to create fixed leadership terms and allow for future Leader Elections. I personally want to make it very, VERY clear that this is 100% FAKE NEWS. Your Committee will not be discussing any changes to the Committee’s structure at all. At any point. Ever. Period.

Under-13s YC — a brief update on the amazing traction we’re seeing for our ‘Horizon Newborn’ under-13s YC which continues to deliver major wins for BH&FA by onboarding all your siblings from the moment of birth to get them prepped & primed for life in the excitingly breakneck ‘fast-lane’ here on the 13+ campus (NB: Under-13 Memberships are automatically migrated to a full BH&FA YC Membership on your siblings’ thirteenth birthday; but remember, it’s your responsibility to let them know that if they want to collect any cuddly toys or other mementos they’ve accidentally left at the under-13s campus they will have to come here and sign the Membership form to release them from our Cryogenic Cold Storage Unit — where you should warn them they will otherwise languish for all eternity.) The committee is currently discussing whether to turn some of the old Woodside Heights YC campus into an Under-13s soft play foam-axe room. Alternatively we might turn it into a child-friendly sand & gravel mine. tbc

‘Odd’ sponsor message content — just a quick note on this last line item but we are aware of a few Members — and in fact the heads of some other Youth Clubs — raising concerns about things they’ve seen in our Sponsor Messages. We’re really not at sure what the issue/s of concern might be but we’re 100% sure that the notion of there being any problem at all with any of the stuff Our Sponsors are paying us to tell you is, like, a _totally_crazy_idea_. So, respectfully, we suggest you drop it. (NB: Also if you want to be able to keep swimming in the Club Money Pool you need to stop asking awkward stuff or we might have to close the pool to non-Committee Members.)

[Boztank pls insert ‘diving into the money pool’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Hard Issue of the day :/

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Trouble With A Member

Sheryl making her really scary face (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

[sponsor message]

I know we’re almost out of time for this week’s newsletter but — following on from the note about ‘Member Behavior’ — I wanted to take a short moment to remind all Members of the Club’s foundational commitment to freedom of expression at all costs.

Kids, if your reading level is strong enough you will understand that “at all costs” means there is actually a cost (but don’t worry, we’re not going to start charging you Membership fees!!! it’s not that kind of really bad cost) to the freedoms we enjoy here on campus. And, well, sometimes that cost means being forced to be bullied in public by an angry mob or having to know that some Members are going around campus telling others that your cherished siblings were in fact just a figment of your imagination and the tragic death they suffered at the hands of a gun-touting maniac is just your totally delusional fancy. Yep, life really can be that shitty sometimes! We’re not gonna lie to you!

Regretfully, this ‘cost’ also means that members of Our Community who are Jewish may well also hear some pretty random and totally untrue stuff being spread about their community on campus. Like that time one of our Member Societies put on an ‘alternative’ WWII fictional reconstruction in the theatre. Now Your Committee doesn’t for a moment believe that anyone on campus could have viewed this work as anything other than the piece of avant garde theatre it very obviously was (IMHO). (I mean, maybe a few Members thought it was an historically accurate reconstruction but really it’s the job of the rest of you kids to make fun of anyone crazy enough to believe such stupid stuff!!!) We sure don’t believe that kind of absolute crap. But, nonetheless, we’re 100% comfortable with our decision to operate an entirely open-door Membership Policy because Your TLB is entirely incapable of discriminating. I mean, if we did, where on Earth would it end?!? So even if a Member of Our Community happens to be a renowned fantasist with a record of shouting FIRE in theaters, or even a paid up member of a neo-nazi group which routinely denies historically verified episodes of ethnic cleansing, that’s totally not our problem — it’s theirs! We just provide the world’s over-13s with a soapbox to express their unvarnished selves, globally. What Members choose to do with the tools we provide to help them get their message out there is obviously none of our business!! (Although it is literally BH&FA YC’s business but how else would we fund the platform in the first place?!)

In any case, fact-checking is for qualified professionals who probably work for newspapers. And we are totally not that at all!!! [Edit note from Adam: Are there any newspapers left? Didn’t the Tribune close when you made the Newsletter a daily?] (Supplementary note from Boztank: Remember kids, Mark himself is Jewish. So if he can suck up Holocaust denial, so can you! As my grandpops used to say: ‘If a piece of baloney hasn’t blown your face off you’re winning because you’re not dead yet so stop whining ya cream-faced loon!’)

Last word from Mark: As Boztank has been saying for, like, almost before some of you were born, speech that is “distasteful and ignorant” is nothing to be worried about so long as you kids are totally prepared to just laugh it off (NB: We might use laughing gas for this too — see the Newsletter endnote for more on what we’re cooking up in the Innovation Labs). And, well, frankly speaking, a lot more people really need to grow up and learn that maniacs spouting total rubbish are just an unfortunate distraction from great Sponsor Message content. In any case, fact-checking is expensive — far too expensive for the Club Treasurer’s tastes!!

So, to wrap up, Your Committee wants to make it totally plain we’re 110% here to entertain your behavior — unruly, unreasonable or just plain stupid! Whatever the f— you like! (Just plank safely, eh! There have been a number of deaths related to selfie challenges lately and we’d really prefer you enjoy rather than kill yourselves!!!) And while we may not always be 100% comfortable about the views you’re espousing on campus, or via Club equipment (NB: We have another shipment of 200M Wi-Fi enabled megaphones arriving Wednesday so get gargling!!), we want all Members to know we’re fully behind you being a totally offensive f—. Period.

(Actually, if you or your parents bothered to read the small print that’s literally what our Founding Charter says. In any case, like Sheryl says, there’s no way Our Community would keep growing like the weed it has if we hadn’t let in any shitty idea that wants to crawl in off the street and set up a stink, crawl in off the street and set up a stink. She also says that BH&FA YC is like a compost heap: All shits are 100% welcome here. And: If it stinks, the Club Treasurer winks!!)

All we ask is that you kids play nice together. Because, regretfully, the bill for Clubhouse security staff has been rising alarmingly over the past several months — as more bouncers have been needed around campus to break up several pretty serious brawls. And, well, we have already stuffed the Newsletter to bursting with Sponsor Messages. So we do have some concerns about the depth of the Club Money Pool, going forward. We’ll be bringing you a more fulsome update on Club Finances in a future Newsletter (tbc — Wehner).

[Sponsor message]

One more thing!

Exciting Announcement… of a beta test to a Clubhouse Rule change!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Vertigo scream’ GIF here — but fun not too scary version]

FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes! Shouting fire in the cinema is now provisionally acceptable!!!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark double thumbs up’ GIF here]

We wanted to end the Newsletter with a bit of good news, so the TLB has decided to beta test letting Members yell “fire” or even “bomb” during screenings in the cinema. Or actually anything you fancy (why not get creative — like, by yelling ‘argh! alien facehugger squirting acid on my eyeballs!!!’).

Why? Because the TLB has decided that having a space where Members’ speech is constrained — even as a narrow health & safety precaution — was just FAR too risky for Community cohesion. So we’re removing it and saying ya-boo-sucks to the consequences!

But don’t worry! We’re putting Community Safety first by taking precautions to keep all Members safe. (For example, we’ve covered all sharp edges in the cinema with foam padding to prevent anyone from being impaled during any panic-induced stampedes for the exit. But please remember there’s only one exit — so play safe kids! Definitely try not to crush each other to death!!! (NB: The Committee would like to take this opportunity to remind all Members that an ‘in the event of my death and/or horrific personal injury’ legal waiver was signed by all of you when you joined the Club so anyone with litigious parents should warn them not to get any ideas. (Yes, we know Colin is leaving but that’s not until after Thanksgiving.))

The Committee is also considering installing facial recognition technology in the cinema Wi-Fi-connected to laughing gas canisters which would be triggered in the event of anyone getting overly emotional in there. Our idea is that the gas could be automatically dispensed if any Members became hysterical, or, well, overly sad — thereby distracting people and preventing risky stampedes. (NB: This exciting Club innovation is still a work in progress but we’ll be sure to keep you updated on progress in future Newsletters. See our quasi-regular: ‘What’s Mark Cooking In The Lab’ section)

And that’s about all for today kids! Feel free to unstrap from your Oculus for now (for those of you special early adopters out there!) — and it’s adios amigos until tomorrow, when we’ll be right back in your face with more exciting BH&FA YC news!!!!

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Warning: Anyone caught leaking Club policies or information WILL HAVE THEIR MEMBERSHIP REVOKED AND BE BANNED FOR LIFE. Members contravening this rule will also be physically removed from campus (should they be here at the time) with zero opportunity to collect any personal belongings or say goodbye to any friends. Personal items will be piled in the yard and used as fuel for the next Club Cook-Out which will kick off with a competition to see which member can shout ‘Speak don’t leak!’ the loudest. One winner will be selected by Mark and given a bite of his prime brisket. Appeals are impossible.

Photo: paylessimages/iStock

[Oculus VR promo]

Still here?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!

Additional really important information from the committee: Uhhhh, Alex just told me that the Committee room where we keep the PAM records, going back to ~2005, was left unlocked for, like, the past decade(ish). A quick review of our CCTV records appears to show a small army of unknown persons coming and going pretty steadily over the years. It looks like these complete strangers were systematically helping themselves to PAM stored in the Club register. Some of these non-members appeared to have used the same Clubhouse parking lot as our ~3,000 regular campus data partners — arriving in vans painted with names like ‘N.Y. Data uLike UnLtd’ and ‘Other Peoples’ info 4 you Inc.’ — perhaps seeking to blend in beside the totally reputable businesses we’ve been sharing all your information with for, like, ever, in order to undertake their totally nefarious theft of your PAM. So we’re really sorry about that! Sheesh! If it helps Sheryl was super mad with us and didn’t speak to us for, like, a week after she found out :o( Anyway it’s totally fine now because we have put an actual lock on the door. Phew! (NB: Anyone wondering if they can claim competition for the Committee’s total failure to protect your privacy should refer to the Compensation Claims Waiver Clause in the Club Charter which everyone signed by default when they joined (by clicking a button saying ‘yes I want to collect my free Brisket hamburger! & register for Club Membership! & I’m super happy to let Mark be totally responsible for all my data’). Feel free to ring Colin for a cry if you like. Thanks! – Your MZ)

from Social – TechCrunch https://ift.tt/2AidFxI Original Content From: https://techcrunch.com

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sheminecrafts · 6 years

Text

Belle Haven & Friendly Acres Over 13s Youth Club Newsletter

[Sponsor message]

Hey KIDS!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘hey kids’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Exciting News!

Here’s a taster from a VR trip I took recently to check out the totally awful devastation in Puerto Rico:

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Your Awesome TLB Club Committee Update!

So what’s on the boys’ discussion agenda this week Mark!?!

[Boztank pls insert fun ‘yakety-yak’ GIF here]

Mmmmmm! Just getting ready for some more crispy brisket!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘diving into the money pool’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Hard Issue of the day :/

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark frowny face’ GIF here]

Trouble With A Member

Sheryl making her really scary face (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

[sponsor message]

[Sponsor message]

One more thing!

Exciting Announcement… of a beta test to a Clubhouse Rule change!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Vertigo scream’ GIF here — but fun not too scary version]

FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes! Shouting fire in the cinema is now provisionally acceptable!!!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark double thumbs up’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Photo: paylessimages/iStock

[Oculus VR promo]

Still here?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!

from iraidajzsmmwtv https://ift.tt/2AidFxI via IFTTT

#IFTTT #iraidajzsmmwtv

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theinvinciblenoob · 6 years

Link

[Sponsor message]

Hey KIDS!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘hey kids’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Exciting News!

Here’s a taster from a VR trip I took recently to check out the totally awful devastation in Puerto Rico:

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Your Awesome TLB Club Committee Update!

So what’s on the boys’ discussion agenda this week Mark!?!

[Boztank pls insert fun ‘yakety-yak’ GIF here]

Mmmmmm! Just getting ready for some more crispy brisket!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘diving into the money pool’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Hard Issue of the day :/

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark frowny face’ GIF here]

Trouble With A Member

Sheryl making her really scary face (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

[sponsor message]

[Sponsor message]

One more thing!

Exciting Announcement… of a beta test to a Clubhouse Rule change!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Vertigo scream’ GIF here — but fun not too scary version]

FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes! Shouting fire in the cinema is now provisionally acceptable!!!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark double thumbs up’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Photo: paylessimages/iStock

[Oculus VR promo]

Still here?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!

via TechCrunch

#IFTTT #TechCrunch

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fmservers · 6 years

Text

Belle Haven & Friendly Acres Over 13s Youth Club Newsletter

[Sponsor message]

Hey KIDS!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘hey kids’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Exciting News!

Here’s a taster from a VR trip I took recently to check out the totally awful devastation in Puerto Rico:

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Your Awesome TLB Club Committee Update!

So what’s on the boys’ discussion agenda this week Mark!?!

[Boztank pls insert fun ‘yakety-yak’ GIF here]

Mmmmmm! Just getting ready for some more crispy brisket!

[Sponsor message]

[Boztank pls insert ‘diving into the money pool’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

Hard Issue of the day :/

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark frowny face’ GIF here]

Trouble With A Member

Sheryl making her really scary face (Photo by Justin Sullivan/Getty Images)

[sponsor message]

[Sponsor message]

One more thing!

Exciting Announcement… of a beta test to a Clubhouse Rule change!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Vertigo scream’ GIF here — but fun not too scary version]

FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes! Shouting fire in the cinema is now provisionally acceptable!!!

[Boztank pls insert ‘Mark double thumbs up’ GIF here]

[Sponsor message]

[Oculus VR promo]

[Sponsor message]

Photo: paylessimages/iStock

[Oculus VR promo]

Still here?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!

Via Natasha Lomas https://techcrunch.com

#TechCrunch

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