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lightrises · 3 years

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"Only in allowing her to pass..." — Hornet, The Radiance, and the means by which Hallownest turned its victims against each other

A quick note: I read Hollow Knight as an anti-colonialist text. As such I'll be touching on topics related to colonialism as it's depicted in the world of the game, and said analysis will reflect both a sympathetic take on The Radiance and a critique of The Pale King that won't pull its punches. If this sounds up your alley, hello and thank you for the read! Let us be sad about these bugs together.

———

So!! A while back I realized something about pre-canon that felt rather... "curious" is one way to put it, I think. To wit: for all the effort and scheming and determination The Pale King poured into trying to get rid of The Radiance, neither of his plans involved directly killing her.

Was that his long game? Well, sure, that seems clear enough. His tack changed from luring the moths away from their god and creator to a more literal form of incarceration once the infection became a factor, but at its core the end goal never really changed—The Pale King very sincerely wished to destroy Radiance via obsolescence. The Seer lends us foreshadowing to confirm as much:

[Image descriptions: Two screenshots from Hollow Knight, showing the Seer and Ghost in the Seer's alcove at the Resting Grounds. Across both screenshots, the Seer tells Ghost the following: "None of us can live forever, and so we ask those who survive to remember us. Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters." End description.]

(Which, by the way and given the context, talk about an extremely unsubtle allusion to cultural genocide huh!!! Whew.)

In any case, we're left with a whole bunch of machinations which build up to... well, two very roundabout attempts at committing deicide. That's kind of weird, all things considered! Why not just do the deed in one fell swoop and get it over with?

This could be for any number of reasons. Maybe the king was devoid of the means to instantly kill another higher being. Maybe his personal sense of scruples stopped him short of signing off on MURDER murder (although, y'know, the aforementioned genocide + eternal imprisonment = still cool and copasectic apparently!). Maybe the long drawn-out cruelty was the point. Maybe the idea of playing fuckign 4D chess with the circumstances was too delicious for him to pass up—that man did love to tinker and stick his claws where they sure as hell didn't belong—or maybe it was a little bit of All The Things. Who knows!!

But interrogating The Pale King's methodology on this count isn't what I'm here for, at least not really. The main reason I raise this question at all is that in her own way, Hornet did too.

"I'd urge you to take that harder path... "

See, going by The Pale King's actions and what The White Lady explicitly says, they both foresaw two outcomes wrt the infection: it can be allowed to spread, or it can be contained. At Teacher's Archives, Quirrel acknowledges the fact that Ghost is expected to do... something about this, but he doesn't elaborate on what HE thinks that's supposed to be apart from the obvious "Gotta bust into Black Egg Temple first". Hornet is the one person who presents to us—to Ghost—what's framed as a third option: confront and destroy the infection at its source.

And she doesn't bring it up like it's just another tactic for Ghost to consider, prim and indifferent to what they would do. She nudges them towards it, actively, up to the point where she throws herself into the fray against Hollow at a juncture that's uniquely dangerous to her and her alone just to make that option feasible.

Even when she's couching it in disclaimers that this is still Ghost's decision to make (and let's be fair, she's extremely not wrong about that lol), no one can pretend Hornet is unbiased. It's obvious in that buttoned-down Hornet kind of way that she is way the hell done with the increasingly tenuous stalemate that's kept Hallownest's desiccated corpse from collapsing in on itself. Personally it's hard for me not to read some Toriel Undertale-esque "My father was too entrenched in his own foolishness to pursue any course of action that would have DEFINITIVELY ended this" shade into her stance here, regardless of whether that's strictly true in canon.

And that bit—Hornet's hopes for an end to Hallownest's stasis, moreover her grim calculation of what needs to be done to get there—that's the bit I find super interesting but likewise tragic and depressing as shit, on multiple levels. In no small part because a) canon itself gestures towards Hornet feeling conflicted about the very plan she's pushing, and moreover b) she has at least two (2) damn good reasons to feel that way.

So, what do I mean by that? Let's look here first:

[Image description: A screenshot from Hollow Knight, of Hornet and Ghost inside the Temple of the Black Egg, standing in front of the unsealed egg itself. Hornet has been struck by the Dream Nail and her dialogue is displayed as follows: "... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?" End description.]

As the curtain is about to drop on things one way or another, Hornet thinks,

... Could it achieve that impossible thing? Should it?

Now, looking at that last bit it's easy to go "Oh no, Hornet's worried that Ghost won't survive killing The Radiance!" And I do think that's part of it: Hornet is, categorically, not her father. By endgame it's clear she's not content to view her Void-borne siblings as tools to be used then disposed of. She's also well aware that as a healthy autonomous Vessel amongst the countless dead, Ghost is the only person left alive who has a fighting chance against The Radiance. Knowing someone is the only qualified candidate for the job doesn't make encouraging them to embrace a probable death sentence any less of a bitter pill to swallow, though. And odds are on that this sentiment extends to Hollow too, who IS going to die no matter what happens here. To put it bluntly, it's more than reasonable to conclude that Hornet hates the absolute fuck out of this.

But I don't think that's all there is to it either. Remember what I said earlier about The Pale King's bids for genocide? Well, it's not like the man deigned to limit his efforts to just the moth tribe.

"We do not choose our mothers... "

On top of everything else—an infected Hallownest being all she's ever known, the fact that she only exists because of the infection, the list goes on—Hornet has spent her life wedged into a position that's been uncomfortable and terminally unglamorous at best: she is both a daughter of her father's kingdom and of Deepnest.

Deepnest, which like the moths and many others was here long before the wyrm and his lady wife swanned onto the scene and the God Become Bug laid claim to everything the Light touched plus a considerable amount of change. THAT Deepnest, which has fought claw and thread to retain its sovereignty against same-said settler king, and for which Herrah not only surrendered her life but also agreed to bed her worst enemy, all in hopes of securing a viable future for her people (put a pin in that last part by the way, I'll come back to it soon).

Two Worlds, One Family (Ft. An Indigenous Woman Trying Her Damndest To Work With What She's Got Versus An Imperialist Who Only Signed Up For This Because He Needed The Political Favor THAT Badly, So It's The Height Of Dysfunctional Actually). Fun times!!!!

The baggage this entails for Hornet is gnarly enough without implications made by The White Lady and the pre-canon timeline of events and even Team Cherry's dev notes that the king may well have looked at baby Hornet, gone "YOINK", then ensured she spent the lion's share of her childhood reared within the pearly auspices of his Pale Court*. That would be rather advantageous for Him Specifically after all, the potential to mold a born foe into a future ally and even have her trained in combat under the same tutelage as her doomed sibling. And far be it from him to stop a grown Hornet—his own flesh and blood too!—from making Deepnest her forever home if she so pleased. He totally wouldn't be reneging on his "fair bargain made" by doing this one simple thing until Hornet came of age, not t e c h nic c a l l y.

If that is indeed the case, there's a non-zero chance Hornet's formative years were a hot mess of cultural alienation and being a good deal more privy than most to just how much of a bastard her father could be. There's an equally non-zero chance that at some point she stood or sat within earshot as The Pale King finally, finally dropped all pretense and euphemism to name the Light for precisely what (for who) it was.

See, in conjunction with the question that started this whole dang train of thought I've been asking this one too: Does Hornet know? When she speaks of confronting "the heart of [the] infection" does she know she's talking about not just a literal person but someone very specific? The Radiance, who god though she may be shares skin in the game alongside Hornet as a native woman screwed over by the same settler king, likewise deprived of her kin and saddled with a life gone horrendously pear-shaped?

I'll assume for the sake of exploring the possibility and because I think it's a likely one anyway that yes, Hornet does know. She knows, and despite everything can't help empathizing. She might even look at Radiance and see bits and pieces both reflected and slightly inversed in her own mother: Radiance was forced to the sidelines while her people—her children, the brood she was meant to lead and care for—died out under The Pale King's rule, and it's no stretch to assume she's at least as upset about that as she has been about everything else; Herrah too took drastic measures for her people's sake, trying to head off annihilation by relegating herself to the sidelines in an act that was as much calculated risk as an attempt to find wiggle room and leverage in the face of a nasty proposition.

A calculated risk that, if things continue as they are, might well amount to nothing as the rest of Deepnest gets eaten alive by the infection. It survived The Pale King's advances for so so long, only to fall here. Herrah's sacrifice would be for naught; the other tribes—themselves the king's victims—would keep succumbing to the infection too.

And this is where things fall apart.

"... or the circumstance into which we are born."

Let's be clear: I think Hornet is wise enough to know what's what here, that all the carnage and suffering falls on her father's head for starting this slow-motion trainwreck in the first place. Hallownest wasn't always Hallownest. This domain was Radiance's home first, along with many others. It was the worm-turned-king who rolled up on the scene unsolicited and decided this was a ""'problem""" that had to be """solved""".

But the fact of the matter is that he's gone and The Radiance is here, raging, seemingly inconsolable. Above and beyond being Deepnest's rightful heir, Hornet isn't in a position to countenance more splash damage even if the grief and fury fueling it makes perfect sense. She can understand without ever bringing herself to love Radiance, and she can bend her knee to practicality even if she hates the everloving shit out of it because the fact that it "has" to end this way isn't fair.

This lends itself to one last awful conclusion: that Hornet has probably considered and (rightly or wrongly) discarded the possibility that Radiance can be saved, at least not without dragging more collateral along for the ride. If even her mother and every other enemy to the king seemed to dismiss talking Radiance down as an option way back when... well. Why should Hornet hope for any better after things have escalated so far?

Again, it's practical. A practical net good is what Hornet strives for. And again, it fucking sucks.

For extra tragedy points, this makes Hornet's extended crypticness around Ghost followed by her last minute casting about for a reason to tell them "Wait, don't; not just yet" that she never voices even more of a gut punch. She can't bring herself to burden Ghost with the context that haunts her so, least of all when it might weaken their resolve to go through with what (she thinks) needs doing.

It's the "same song, different verse" which led to the mantis tribe and Deepnest being pitted against each other: Hallownest rigged the game so that two women who could have been powerful allies—who have a mutual vested interest in driving out settler rule—wound up poised as enemies instead. And how awful is that? The king for all his being extremely fucking dead still gets the last laugh, because outside of a miracle the game never manifests Hornet can salvage what her mother started and look forward to a future where Deepnest pulls itself back from the brink if and only if The Radiance dies.

Resolution comes at the price of a completed genocide. Add two more dead siblings to the unconscionable pile thereof, while we're at it. That's what it boils down to whether or not Hornet can bear to articulate it as such, and there's no grace or even a properly bittersweet ending to wring from this clusterfuck. And that is rough.

———

* This has been better explained elsewhere, but a quick rundown: The White Lady tells Ghost that Hornet and Herrah "were permitted little time together." On its surface this can be taken to mean that Hornet was still very young when Herrah was shipped off to Eternal Dreamland—except this doesn't jive with the fact that we meet Hornet as an adult. If the stasis kicked in once the Dreamers went to their rest, which in turn halted the aging process for every living bug in Hallownest, AND before all this Hornet experienced little by the way of quality time with her birth mother... I think you can see where I'm going with this.

To top it off we've got Team Cherry weighing in ominously from their dev notes on Herrah: "As part of the agreement for her alliance and her role as a dreamer, King gave her a child (Hornet). Was she allowed to keep this child or was she taken away?" This isn't confirmation by itself of course, but given additional canon details (see above): Can I get a "yikes" in the chat fellas.

#hollow knight #hornet (hollow knight)#hornet hollow knight #hk hornet #the radiance #hk radiance #herrah #hk herrah #hollow knight meta #sup folks it's been a minute since i dropped a whole dang essay but Here We Go!!!!!!

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powerfultears-blog · 5 years

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What say you???

A couple of day's ago I listened to a conversation where this one young man was being questioned on what's so special about Jesus? It was a debate type discussion and I just watched as that young brother got tricked into a useless fight. That's how things go, people speak without having solid facts about what they are saying, and before you know it there is no understanding or objectivity involved in the discussion at all. I listened as this discussion all started about did Jesus really rise from the dead??? Afterwards, I did take the opportunity to share certain things with him. Easter(Resurrection) Sunday is a day we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. But what do we mean when we say Jesus rose from the grave? More to the point, what difference does it make if he did? If we can't answer those questions, Easter doesn't mean much !!!

That's why it's very important to not get intellectually distracted about Easter, but understand as a Christian everything is about Resurrection Sunday. Chocolate bunnies and colored eggs have no power to stir passions in our souls. But what if? What if there really was a man who died and lived again. What if the cold flesh of this man's corpse really did grow warm? What if his empty lungs filled with air and his stilled heart actually began to bear again? What if the lifeless limbs of this man - dead and locked in his tomb- became strong two thousand years ago, the man Jesus really did die - and then, three days later- walk out of his tomb alive? would that matter to you? Should it matter to you? The Bible answer is clear !!! for believers and unbelievers alike the resurrection of Jesus matters more than we can know !!!

That's what the Apostle Peter tell us in the first Christian sermon ever preached. In Act 2:22-41, Peter specifically focuses on the bodily resurrection of Jesus and what it means for believers and unbelievers alike. With his words, Peter reminds us how the reality that Jesus conquers death impacts the life of every person who ever lived or will yet live !!! Preaching to the same people who had, only weeks before, demanded that Jesus be crucified, Peter declares "22. Men of Israel, Listen to those words: Jesus the Nazarene, a man attested to you by God with Miracles and wonders and sings which God performed through him in your midst, just as you yourselves know 23. this Man, delivered over by the predetermined plan and foreknowledge of God, you nailed to a cross by the hands of godless men and put him to death. 24"But God raised him up again, putting an end to the agony of death, since it was impossible for him to be held in its power. 25" for David says of him, I saw The LORD ALWAYS IN MY PRESENCE' FOR HE IS AT MY RIGHT HAND, SO THAT I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN. 26'THEREFORE MY HEAR WAS GLAD AND MY TONGUE EXULTED; MOREOVER MY FLESH ALSO WILL LIVE IN HOPE; 27 BECAUSE YOU WILL NOT ABANDON MY SOUL TO HADES, NOR ALLOW YOUR HOLY ONE TO UNDERGO DECAY. 28 ' YOU HAVE MADE KNOWN TO ME THE WAYS OF LIFE' YOU WILL MAKE ME FULL OF GLADNESS WITH YOUR PRESENCE.' 29 Brethren, I may confidently say to you regarding the Patriarch David that he both died and was buried, and his tomb is with us this day.30 And so, because he was a prophet and knew that GOD HAD SWORN TO HIM WITH AN OATH TO SEAR one OF HIS DESCENDANTS ON HIS THRONE, 31 he looked ahead and spoke of the resurrection of Christ, that HE WAS NEITHER ABANDONED TO HADES, NOR DID His flesh SUFFER DECAY. 32" This Jesus God raised up again, to which we are all witnesses. 33."Therefore having been exalted to the right hand of God, and having received from the father the promise of the Holy Spirit, He has poured forth this which you both see and hear. 34 "For it was not David who ascended into heaven, but he himself says: 'THE LORD SAID TO MY LORD, SIT AT MY RIGHT HAD, 35 UNTIL I MAKE YOUR ENEMIES A FOOTSTOOL FOR YOUR FEET." 36 "Therefore let all the house of Israel know for certain that God has made him both the Lord and Christ--this Jesus whom you crucified." 37 Now when they heard this, they were pierced to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, Brethren, what shall we do? 38 Peter said to them, "Repent and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. 39" For the promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off, as many as the Lord our God will call to himself." 40 And with many other words he solemnly testified and kept on exhorting them, saying Be saved from this perverse generations!" 41 So then, those who had received his word were baptized; and that day there were added about three thousand souls."

Before we can understand the meaning of Christ's resurrection, we have to know who Jesus is. And who Jesus is, is exactly where Peter begins this part of his sermon. In verse 22, Peter reminds his hearers that Jesus of Nazareth was a man attested to you by God with mighty works and wonders and sings that God did through him...

Just about everyone knows that Jesus was a miracle worker. Fewer know God's purpose behind his miracles. According to Peter, God used the mighty works, the wonders, and the signs Jesus did on earth to testify that Jesus was exactly who He claimed to be !!! And who did Jesus claim to be? The first four books of the New Testament tell us. These books are called the gospels. And one thin the gospels make clear is that Jesus was a man. Jesus was fully human. But at the same time, in the gospels, Jesus also claims to be God !!! In John 10:30, Jesus declares, I and the father (that is, "God the father and I") are one. Likewise, in John 14:9 Jesus says, "Whoever has seen me has seen the Father".

And in John 8:58, Jesus takes God's personal name for Himself when he declares, "Before Abraham was, I am. "I am" that's the personal Name of God revealed to Moses in the book of Exodus.

And so we see that Jesus wasn't just any man. Jesus was God become man !!! And as God, the gospel tells us that Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of a virgin, lived without sin, taught and preached with all authority, and even forgave the sins of others. As God become man, everything Jesus did was right. As God become man, everything Jesus said was true !!!

Which raises the question- If Jesus was God, what's Acts 2:23 about? That's where Peter goes on to say, this Jesus - that is this Jesus that God attested to with miracles, wonders, and sings- this Jesus was delivered up according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God and you crucified and killed him.

Stop and think about that !!! The bible is telling us that "God become man", was crucified and killed!!! How could that happen? More important, why did that happen? In verse 23, Peter reminds us that the death of Jesus on the cross was no accident. Even though Christ was Murdered by sinful men, His death wasn't random. It didn't catch God by surprise. Or the contrary Peter says Jesus died, "according to the definite plan and knowledge of God". And until we know why Jesus died, We'll never understand what his resurrection means!!!

So why did God the Father, plan for sinful humanity to murder Jesus on a cross? The Bible tells us. The Bible says Jesus died according to the plan and foreknowledge of God in order to pay our sin penalty in full !!! Jesus died to suffers God's wrath against our sin. Jesus suffered God's judgment in our place. Jesus died so we can be forgiven- So we can have heaven when we deserve nothing but hell !!!

I'm wondering right now? Do you believe that's true? Do you believe that you're a sinner who deserves nothing but hell? The Bible say's it's true. The Bible says every one of us are sinful and fallen. Not one of us is righteous in the eyes of our Holy God. Even though we like to flatter ourselves, Roman 3:10-12 tells us the truth about ourselves. It declares, "None is righteous No, Not one understands: No one seeks God. All have turned aside; together they have become worthless; No one does good, not even one". Easy for me to understand because of my constant failure and sins, but do how do you see it, What say you???

Do you believe - or do you deny- What the Bible says? Do you deny your lust? Do you deny your selfishness? Do you deny your pride?, your back-bitting your gossip, your immorality, your unfaithfulness, your vanity, your arrogance, your resistance of what is right? Do you deny your sin? Can't we just be honest with ourselves? I know the word "Sinner" isn't politically correct - but it's the only word that will do. you're a sinner and so am I. We don't please God. We can't please God. As sinners, we have no power to save ourselves from the condemnation we deserve!!! And that's why Jesus died according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God. Because God so love the world, Jesus died to pay our sin penalty so we can be forgiven - so we can enjoy friendship with God- so we can have heaven instead of hell!!!

Isaiah 53: 5-6 declares it, "But He (Jesus was wounded for our transgressions; He was crushed for our iniquities; upon Him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with His stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to his own way; and the Lord has laid on Him (On Jesus) the iniquity (the sin) of us all." He laid our sin on Jesus and punished Him in our place !!!

And so now we know who Jesus is. Jesus is God become human. More than that, we know why Jesus died. Jesus died to pay the penalty for our sin so we can be forgiven and receive God's gift for eternal life.

What say you???

J.P.

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piffle-stories · 6 years

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Making it count

Like every other morning Tom was carrying his fishing nets to the sea to tie them on the poles across the shore. Today he stopped short seeing a man dressed up all in red clothes and red shoes on his feet.

He thought some hobo gypsy has stopped by the isle for collecting things. So he went about minding his own business. After quite a while when the sun was shining brightly in the sky he was heading back to his small hut, he again noticed the man in red clothing. He was a curious fellow with thin lips, narrow nose, and eyes looking like boiled eggs. He was mumbling something to himself as he was counting something with both hands.

At that point the man noticed Tom and called out to him.

Hello, young man. Can you please stop by for a little while and talk to me?

At first Tom thought about ignoring him. But then he thought he has nothing to do right now so it will not be a problem to talk to him for a bit. So he walked up to the stranger and said,

How do you do sir? I'm Tom, I come here every day but I don't think I have ever seen you here before?

Of course you haven't seen me, for I have stepped to this isle for the very first time. A friend of mine suggested me to come here.

Oh I see. Where are you from sir? It looks like you came here from a different land.

I'm sorry Tom. I haven't introduced myself properly. My name is Mah tu Jul kul zino. I come from the Mino Galaxy. I have been given this body by our lordship for traveling your planet.

So that is what people call you, by that name?

Of course not, for some reason everyone over here calls me Henry. You can call me by that too.

Well, welcome to our planet Mr Henry. I hope you are enjoying your visit.

The man started laughing hearing that and finally said,

I'm glad to hear that. But it seems like you are the first person to welcome me here. Because I mostly get to hear, are you drunk or do you think I'm stupid or get lost you fuzz face, I don't have time for your little pranks and so on.

I'm sorry to hear that sir. You are most certainly welcomed here. Would you like to come and join me for lunch.

I don't intake food or water but I this human body of mine rumbles every now and then so I eat when I hear that rumblings. I guess, I can have a little lunch with you, if you insist.

Come this way sir.

Then the two of them walked inside Tom's hut. And Tom started to plate up their lunch. Henry made himself comfortable on the tiny bed inside the hut.

Tom has a wooden desk and a chair too, that rests beside the tiny bed. He brings his lunch in the morning when he leaves home from the main city. Then he rides his small fishing boat to get to this small island.

Tom placed a plate in front of Henry and sat on his chair with another plate. They started eating but Tom's mind was occupied by the sudden intrusion of this weirdly clad stranger. So he finally asked,

I saw you on the shore this morning thought you came for something here, have you found what you are looking for?

You see Tom, I come here on this planet with some specific task. A have spent a few months traveling around the world quite a few times, and in doing so I ended up here.

Don't say you have traveled quite a few times, how did you even managed to do that?

That's my bad, I haven't told you anything about my endeavors, still here I am, sitting here on your bad with you.

That's alright sir? Why don't you explain to me now?

Very well, then bear with me Tom, because it's a long story. I came to this planet to measure the land size and how it is shaped. And as I finished measuring the who landscape I decided to go around another time to make sure all the measurements are correct. As I did so, I figured the land size increased slightly. So I measured another time. Likewise I ran my process more than enough time to conclude that the land size is always increasing, very slightly, hard for human eyes to notice. So I tried to measure at what rate the size is increasing. And as it turns out the increase is also taking place at a increasing rate. And it is taking place in such little fraction that one needs to travel the whole world at an incredible speed to take measurements of the whole planet. Now you must be thinking how did I ever manage to do that. Then you should remember that I told you before that I was given this body to travel and experience life as a human. Otherwise I don't have any shape or face. So if I leave this body I can move around at whatever speed I need to travel. So after much difficulties I have concluded, that measuring the increase rate is way more complicated, and than the complex calculations I am equipped with is incapable of this task. So I got a little disheartened by the end of it. But that is when I met a fellow galaxy man who also came to this planet on a separate mission. But for some reason he left his mission and decided to stay here and he want to die as a human. I thought that he must have gone completely out of order. His arithmetic has gone all wrong and now he is just a broken computing system. But he told me, no such thing happened. He also told me to visit this island to understand why he wants to experience life as a human. Now here I am exploring this little island looking for answers that is yet to be seen. But as I stood by the shoreline I calculated that the same number of waves hits the coast every day and it carries the same number of seashells with it. And I know this because I have counted the exact same amount in all the beaches I have landed in your planet.

By the end of Henry's weird story Tom understood, only one thing that his guest is very good at counting. So he thought about asking him to run some computing for him.

Sir, if you have time, can you count a few little things for me as well?

Well of course I can, and that is within seconds.

Here it goes, let's say I cried for one hour last night, can you count how many tears was caused by how many grief?

Umm, one hour, tears, grief... That's preposterous... Madness I say... My perfect arithmetic mind has never heard of such a thing like this. Well how about another one.

Okay, I sorry for...for the previous one, but how about this, lets say, my heart sits on my chest, and it is a tiny little thing but the emptiness inside can suck out the entire space and make it barren. So exactly how much the space is squeezing itself to fit inside the emptiness inside my chest.

Remarkable, I have never heard quite anything like this. Another one, I say try me one last time.

That's alright, but please help me out with this one at least. Few months ago my wife passed away while giving birth. We had a daughter and she is all healthy by the grace of God. So my question is, if you put a scale and put joy on one side and grief on the other and they weigh the same to put the scale in balance. Then what is causing the grief to be heavier to carry? Because even though they weigh exactly the same, somehow I'm finding the grief is weighing me down and I am finding it hard to carry.

After finishing his question Tom looked at Henry and saw tears on the corner of his eyes. So he said,

I'm extremely sorry sir, I didn't mean to make you upset.

Well what is a upset Tom? And what is causing this pounding inside here? He pointed at his heart. And why there is moisture on my eyes?

Well sir, you seem to have forgotten that you're inside a human body and it comes with a heart and a brain. The moisture is tears and that pounding is called sadness.

So this is what you are talking about and asked me to count and compute?

Well, yes. Since you have such good mathematical equipment within yourself.

I am very sorry Tom, I am very sorry to say that what you are asking me to compute is beyond any numbers and parameters.

Oh, I guess I will just have to stop asking questions like this. Because I asked the same questions to this guy, new to this land like yourself. He also said the same thing you did.

You mean a guy with computing skills like me, then that must be my friend who sent me here in the first place.

He was your friend? how wonderful, that is really wonderful to hear. Tell me tell you something sir, as humans it is best for us, to make the days count instead of counting the days.

Thanks you so much Tom. I came looking for answers and now I have got some. Thanks you very much for solving my problems.

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