#like........i'd rather have someone interact with 15 of my posts and not follow than have someone never interact with anything i post...

[antiherotheantisocial]

hm...villain era 👹🖤🧌🪨🪰🦠

'i love deep convos' shut the hell up what the hell is a deep convo what y'all even talking about the unexplored shit in the ocean?.....what's down there 🫣...my soulmate?...heaven???....hint hint wink wink nudge kick 🫣 wait...it couldn't be.....i thought...since y'all're always talking about it i thought.......no....it actually exists???........they found.....PUS-😳😳😳???

the thing i like most about myself is that i'm honest with myself. i'm never too harsh, never too relaxed, never too overtly understanding nor allowing, but always tolerant enough knowing that i need room to grow.

i really don't think love will happen to me which is why i'm so against that entire toxic positivity notion....i think love devoid of intentionality towards the specific person may perhaps be a...type of love....but it's not what i want and it is never good enough for me. it never has felt like it's ever enough which makes me loathe it all the more and if anything it's always left me pathetically desperate for more..

i think it usually makes my paranoia worse actually. i don't like when people pity me and that's what so much of how showing love is discussed.....like you pity them. like they can't do it on their own. i don't like when people attempt to do it subtly either. i actually think that's worse and it makes me even angrier faster. who caaaaaaaaares leave me aaaaaalone....

i complain a bunch about yearning but i don't really mind it i don't think. i feel safer yearning than letting people hurt me because i can never be good enough for them even though they never want to be honest about that. i'm honest about it so why can't other people be honest about it too? it just sucks knowing a person more than what they know of themself...i think a lot of people never really, honestly and truly....sit with their feelings and question why they want to challenge certain things about me. it feels like the pity thing again, wanting to fix me but i've tried and tried and tried once more endlessly... and i'm not traumatized in any way and there was never a clear cause for why i turned out this way which means you need to accept that i can never be your little pet project....i think when i warn people off it probably...looks like a self-fulfilling prophecy but i think it's just being honest about my past and how i've been treated before. like i know people like you and they don't enjoy me so i probably wouldn't be recommended for you to spend time on. how is that in any way rude of me? and anyways, i don't like giving people who never intentionally cared about me that control to fuck with my already fragile ego.

i think it's fine. i'd rather be lonely than look like a fool lmaoo...i think it hurts because i make it so easy to love me but no one of whom i've wanted really ever......tried.. so maybe i just like coming here dumping my depressing ass feelings knowing that no one really cares and if they do there's nothing they can do to fix it.....so what? so you don't like my blog because i'm secretly guilt tripping everyone that attempts to speak to me on here??? 🥺 why is no one ever on my side 🥹🙃😢

an aside, but i hate the word fickle. decide that you want to love me. don't do it solely because you feel like it. if you actually knew what love was you'd be willing and wanting to do it when you don't feel like it too absolute fucking piece of shit. i want love for me not just simply because i'm a human. anyhow i wish i could type fuck like one of those death metal fonts you know that's how this entire aside makes me feel. grrrrrrrr RAWR. hehehe that too omgggg 🥰💞💕💕💕

ok bye. 😐

#sorry for posting on my blog it's just that i haven't been getting the attention i want. maybe i should leave it to my sideblog lololololol #like i want to post but i feel like because there's such high speech of the acclaimed'bond of mutuals' i have to appease to y'all.. #when like half of y'all don't even like my blog 💀💀 #anyways if i end up softblocking you sorry i probably will lurk after the fact because i do care....but lmaoo #lol i love how immediately once i feel bad i start posting manipulative ass shit hehehe #i'm so tired of not having a mutual to be in love with i hate you all. #i mean i will regret this because it's not that serious but i won't because it's not that serious. #lmao if i saw someone else making this post i'd be like damn calm down go outside but it's me and i have in fact..been outside. #wait i think i've said before how i know it's like impossible but i want the option to block people from following me back #it's like a fucking pity follow lmaoo you don't even like what i post booooooo get outta here!! #like........i'd rather have someone interact with 15 of my posts and not follow than have someone never interact with anything i post... #i'm not even like......posting my own content either so i feel like that makes it worse....... #if you pity follow back explain why 🫣 do you feel obligated to follow back.......i don't get it... #lmaooo actually i feel like someone would read this and think that it's because i'm chronically online but #i think the opposite is true. why would i monitor someone i don't care about when i have free time?........ #does that even make sense?.....to me it doesn't........... #yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawncore bye ✌️😐 #anyways as usual if you ever see me having a breakdown just ignore me i will be a complete asshole about it but #i am just fishing for attention even tho i don't actually like nor want it heheeeee ;))))))))) #god it sucks. wanting attention but hating it and wanting praise but hating it yessssss girl never be clear in your wants 🤩🤩 #🚨‼️ bad bitch alert ‼️🚨 having cconfusingly onflicting wants???? yesssssss girl go AWFF 🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩😍🤩 #ok that's it bye i guess 😐 #aaaaaaaand scene! #were you entertained 😐 #damn not the typo too 😳🫦💦🥵🥵🥵 #my period is about to drop sometime soon probably. i mean the other times i've done this just cause but i'll use any excuse i can get 🤪🥦 #this is very much.....hm............ew of me..😐....

[daydadahlias]

what’s your thought on minors reading your stories?

hm, that's a good question, and I think one that's far more nuanced/convoluted than people often give it credit for and than I often like to think about.

obviously, I'm more than happy for minors to read my G/T and even M rated fics but when we get into the explicit territory - which I assume is what you're asking about - it can get tricky.

i will say, before I get into this far too long and rambling answer, that as a blanket statement, I would prefer that minors did not engage with explicit material period, including my own. However, it would simply be negligent of me to act like there are not minors who actively consume my content.

For a while there, I had "minors dni" in my bio and I also had 18+ for some time but I eventually took both out because I know it doesn't really dissuade people from interacting; if kids/minors want to look at something, they will look at it. And if they can't find it in certain places, they will without a doubt look for it in others.

it's a sad fact about our current culture that by the age of 12, most children will have actively seen pornography - mostly due to pop up ads online and just the sheer volume of pornographic content that exists in our world. so I am under no disillusion that minors also actively seek it out. I mean, I started reading porn when I was 12. Do I think, realistically, that it was a good thing for my emotional development? Uhm, no I don't! I don't think kids should be reading porn; it vastly skews their perceptions of sex and can negatively impact their relationships with sexuality in their adulthood. That's just a proven fact. So if I had any real say in it, I would say that minors should not be reading/viewing porn period, definitely not before the age of 15. That includes my own.

But, all that to say, I understand that I am an adult posting pornography on a public platform; if minors want to stumble on it, they will. I also know that I have all the necessary warnings and content triggers in place should someone come across my work and, at a certain point, if they continue to view it despite it being marked for mature audiences, that is not On Me as a creator. I cannot control what people choose to view.

I will say that, in terms of sexual content, I know that I am always writing healthy and consensual sexual dynamics between my characters so of the porn that minors could be exposed to, mine is certainly not of the dangerous variety for a minor to be consuming.

Am I fully comfortable with the thought of minors reading my material? No. But I'm not going to make it a habit to police people's interaction with the internet and I'm also not going to go through every single one of my followers and search to see if they're a minor to block them if they are. That doesn't stop kids from seeking things out. Frankly, I think blocking minors would only make them seek out other dangerous sexual content. Sometimes I think that I'd rather minors read my explicit material rather than explicit material that is tagged incorrectly, y'know? I'd rather minors read about actual consensual sex than dub-con or rape disguised as such.

At the end of the day, all I want is for minors to recognize that what they read online is not an accurate articulation of what occurs in real life and do their necessary research to be safe when they actively choose to interact with sex irl. But far be it from me to tell them how they should and should not consume written material, y'know?

I have an obligation as a creator (as I think all creators do) to tag my material properly and trigger warn accordingly because I do know realistically that minors might come across it, but from there it's completely out of my hands on if minors choose to engage with it or not.

#hope i articulated myself well on this!! #it's something i think about fairly often bc i do have a couple 'frequent' followers who engage w/ my stuff that i know are minors #and while I as an adult have an obligation to not create close relationships with them or divulge in one on one contact #them consuming my content in a public sphere doesn't... Bother me #minors are 'allowed' to read my stuff if they want to #if the larger question is 'do i think they should' no... i would prefer they didnt #but i know i cant stop them from doing it yknow? #so that's just kind of... how the cookie crumbles #curious why you asked this i dont think ive ever been asked and ive been writing for 3 years now in this fandom #crazy to think about #yeah if ur a minor just make sure u stay safe ok? :) #and i really am here for kids if they need anything. like i really am #i just want kids to be safe first and foremost #pigeon #anon

[girlcalledwhatsername]

I posted 3,712 times in 2022

That's 602 more posts than 2021!

146 posts created (4%)

3,566 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@girlcalledwhatsername

@twice-as-many-stars

@zeawesomebirdie

@sleevesareforlosers

@anarchist-mariner

I tagged 1,334 of my posts in 2022

#art - 29 posts

#mcr - 24 posts

#undescribed - 18 posts

#ableism - 17 posts

#my chemical romance - 16 posts

#asks - 15 posts

#literature - 14 posts

#punk - 11 posts

#poetry - 10 posts

#loki - 10 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#and they are getting ready to uphold psychiatry and gaslight you into thinking you have to hand over your agency and autonomy to them ❤️

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I think comedy peaked with "My name... is James Acaster. Death comes for us all." why are people still trying

87 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

#4

People with miles long DNIs have quite some nerve interacting wily nily with my posts without checking and realising I fall in their dni category like, ten times over. Babe if you need such a huge list of people to not even look your way, one would think you would be more careful about not interacting with such people yourself yet here you are, putting horrid tags on my posts and subjecting me to rancid takes in the dni if I click further.

92 notes - Posted October 9, 2022

#3

It bothers me still that Andy Samberg and Jack Black amongst others fully participated in the Color the Spectrum campaign even though autistic adults who have followed these figures tried to bring to their attention the fact that fundraisers promoting ABA are ableist conversion-therapy funding bullshit that don't even involve any actual autistic people having any say in it. And it bothers me further that supposedly progressive people keep hyping up these figures and these seems little backlash that's big enough for them to even notice. This isn't to shame people who admire these celebrities, there's always going to be some "unproblematic white man" celebrity or another that the internet latches onto, and I'd go so far as to not even immediately assume anything other than ignorance on the part of these two men, but the fact is that the most influence that can be had is from their own fanbase.

I wish the people who post so much about Black and Samberg hyping them up all the time and bring up School of Rock in every other conversation would devote some time at least to join in those autistic voices that had tried to reach out to these very influential men. People like these who are seen as paragons of virtue while having a huge following could make a huge difference in ending the honestly torturous techniques that these ABA therapies are developing. Y'all talk a big game about holding people accountable but it only ever follows after someone already pisses you off and it's always about punishing people rather than trying to change their behaviour in a way that actually benefits marginalised folk.

Calling out ableism isn't just for vague old tweets from some small creator whom you found cringe, it's also for celebrities you actively like whose involvement in these movements has major impacts. Read what autistic people have said about ABA if you aren't aware, but surely if you believe these idols to be the good people that they are, they would be willing to learn to be better? Or do us autistics have to wait for them to do something cringe till you will get mad enough to bring it up?

272 notes - Posted September 2, 2022

#2

Me, hyping myself up to stop zoning out just long enough to get in bed: come on, come on, be brave, come on, we can do this, please, it has been thirty minutes and it's cold, look at the blanket it will be so nice there, come on,

273 notes - Posted January 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

🍂This user is always happy to see ao3 surpass their donation goals btw.🍂

This user is glad to see publically-funded archives of all kinds and especially those with a history of standing against censorship, especially fully volunteer-run ones with artists generously sharing their works for free, especially well organised ones that I respect the hell out of.

2,327 notes - Posted October 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#mildly embarassing #blogs i rb'd the most we are friends now ok?

[peachesandmilktea]

hi sun peach, i hope you’re having a good day!! i wanted to ask how you got into writing on tumblr and if you have any advice on getting started?

also wanted to ask how you get yourself to write and finish fics? i always start but then it goes downhill and i can hardly finish a paragraph without stopping, or i start fics and never finish them before moving onto the next brain rot.

DYING AT THE NAME JUST DYING I LOVE YOU

Hi babe!! I got into writing on Tumblr because that's the platform I have always used the most to roam around fandoms. That being said, I crosspost with AO3, and I think it's a good thing to do because then you get twice as many comments if you post on two platforms, usually! (And comments can be pretty rare sometimes, so they're to be cherished...)

To get started, I would say to write the exact fics you would like to read. You like a certain trope, a certain character, a certain concept, but can't find the fic to scratch that itch? Write it! Someone else in the fandom will surely feel the same way, and your fic will feel like a blessing to them.

Now I know it's difficult to get to writing on Tumblr because you won't get much interaction at first, which is why I advise to post on AO3 as well (but it depends on the fics. Some do better on AO3, some do better on Tumblr). Don't be fazed by the lack of interaction, asks, comments, whatever! As long as you're active, interaction will come bit by bit. If you ever need me to promote your stuff, just tell me!! I'd love to help, I know how difficult it can be to grow a following!!

As for getting myself to write, my technique is to do writing sprints. I set a timer, let's say for 15 minutes, and I try to get as many words as possible onto the page, to set a record and break it each time. Don't start rereading your words and remaking your sentences, just focus on getting the story onto the page first. You can always edit later, and I promise, you'll feel a lot better about the fic once it's done rather than when you just look at the few first sentences!

As for multiple projects aka moving onto the next brainrot, I would recommend making friends/beta readers in the fandom, people enthusiastic about your ideas and who want to see you write them to the end. If your friends really, really, really want to read the end of your fic, I think you'll feel more inclined to finish it. At least, that's what works for me!!

I hope that helped!! Feel free to tell me if you have any other questions!

#Peaches replies #asks #Peaches thinks

[ivyandbone]

Native planting, community, and land

Today was a pretty incredible day.

Work was cancelled. Free day in the middle of the week. Bad for my checkbook, good for my mental and spiritual health.

This morning was volunteer time at the butterfly garden. I helped a member pot a bunch of winecups so they'd be ready for the spring plant sale and I got to take a few home with me. After was lunch with the volunteer crew, and after that I followed a member home to pick up yet more plants. I spent a few hours at her house, her showing me around her front and back yard at all her native plants and her new landscaping, digging up the plants I was going to take home, potting them, then hanging out and chatting for a bit after.

When I got home I continued my work on my front yard, pulling up grass from a bed that got away from me in order to plant some of the new plants that were ready for it(the plants dug up and potted today have to wait a a couple weeks in shade to grow out their disturbed root systems).

While I was digging in the bed it finally happened. Someone in the neighborhood complimented my flowers. Currently the only things flowering are the bluebonnets, pink ladies/pink evening primrose, and bearded irises.

It was a simple compliment. "I like your flowers." It means the world.

Maybe ten minutes after that one of the older neighborhood boys, maybe 15 or 16, comes by on his way to hang out with his friend 2 houses down, joined by his friend's younger brother who's probably 8 or 9, and says he likes my flowers too. He asks me how long it took to grow them. When I said I planted the seeds in October it seemed to really wrinkle his brain, and I talked a little about the plants I have growing and why they took that long to grow and flower. Maybe ten minutes after that the younger boy comes back over to my yard and starts asking me questions about my plants. What's growing, what the names of the ones flowering are, why I'm playing in the dirt(I was weeding), he would point to plants to ask about them and I showed him around the yard a bit. My favorite question that he kept asking was how old a plant was.

Does anyone wonder how old a plant that isn't a tree is? Probably not, having much shorter lifespans that we can easily see for ourselves. But what they do with that short amount of time, that single season in some cases, is incredible. What hardships they endure over winter in order to bloom in spring and summer. What hardships they endure currently, as my coreopsis are being defoliated by leaf beetle larvae. Coreopsis aren't their normal host plants, so even though the beetles are native my yard is out of balance because their natural predators don't know that that's where they need to find their food now. I prayed to Cernunnos at last Saturday's spring equinox ritual to help these tiny hunters find their prey.

It was very exciting. This is one of the goals I had when I started planting native plants. I didn't realize I'd hit it within my first year; I didn't start until the spring plant sale in May last year! People in my neighborhood are seeing my work, and they are being positively impacted!

With that interaction I learned that I knew more about my yard than I realized. Or rather, showing it to someone and talking about the plants was like realizing the normally loose leaf pieces of paper my notes are written on form a cohesive book.

I keep writing about my native planting on my witchcraft and paganism blog and I don't know if I've talked about how it relates, or if people can figure that out without me needing to say it. I feel like it can be sussed out with my personal writings on here, but I'm going to talk about it on this post anyways. This is related to my post the other night but not about that, I'm still planning on writing that post but I was too tired after work to do it.

This is what connecting with the land means to me. Yes, there are spaces where I can go and walk and sit among trees and plants in my neighborhood because I'm very lucky like that, and I need to get back out and do it again, but there's a different energy when you are the one shaping and cultivating the land. Building relation with the plants in my own yard, connecting with the land and the land spirits by restoring it.

Witchy books come out all the time talking about connecting with the land and what you can plant at home for a magical garden, but honestly I wonder how much you can truly connect with the land when you plant things that aren't native. What connection does that plant have with the land? What relationship does it have with the environment? What eats it, what benefits from it that's not a honeybee(itself an invasive non-native that out competes native bees and does a worse job pollinating native flowers)? If it escapes containment what sort of ecological damage can it do(how invasive is it)?

I plant native as an act of building relationship with the land in connection with all it's components, the bugs and the birds, the fungi, the spiders and snakes and lizards. There's no books, no guides on how to incorporate the plants of this land into a magical practice(by which I mean ready made correspondences and uses). It would be SO regional! The plants native in my area won't all be the same plants even 10 miles away! Hard to make a halfway decent selling book when only a tiny portion of even 1 state can use it. Plus, I believe you should take indigenous culture into account, learn which plants have special rules and respect them. Purchase from indigenous businesses when possible, and some plants shouldn't be purchased at all, only given as gifts.

So I gotta do it myself, and that's fine. Bree's post that I reblogged earlier will go a long way to making that easier.

#native gardening #native planting #should I start tagging these posts with their own tag? #idk what tag I'd use #rambling thoughts