#like yes it was worse because the physical skinnines took a toll on me so id be in physical pain and cold and brain fog and whatever

[nosygay]

very cool how I've learned more or less how to manage my ed behaviours but the thoughts are as strong as ever. got all of the pain with none of the "it's an illness" excuse

#i am 100% my cause of death will be the ed in one way or another lol #isnt that just fun #ed tw #i always thought if i ever got fat at least i wouldnt mind because id be recovered #well guess what #not to be glorifying AN but after having phases of all the major disorders the AN years were really better in comparison #like yes it was worse because the physical skinnines took a toll on me so id be in physical pain and cold and brain fog and whatever #but it deadass changes your brain chemistry like #when i remember anything from that time #its covered in pink fog of nostalgia #''it was awful BUT at least-'' shut the fuck up #it was awful period i hate this #like it gave a sick satisfaction that nothing else quite gives #but getting there is painful af and im at a moment in my life where im like #you know what i deserve things #that arent suffering #perhaps im not garbage after all! hooray #and it works but only halfway #in conclusion dont get an ed it sucks ass immensely #tw ed