#like my inability to long term plan because I believe with utmost certainty its pointless bc something outside my control will wreck it

[variantoutcast]

I need to learn to have faith things will work out but at my core I am a cynical pessimistic bitch and I’m not really sure how to actively change that

#i’m realizing the impact its had on my life at a macro scale #like my inability to long term plan because I believe with utmost certainty its pointless bc something outside my control will wreck it #thats how I wound up going to the shittiest possible college and its why I’m having trouble planning my exit strategy #in terms of what classes to take #and if I’m going to go apply to grad school #because I feel like this college is a dead end and nobody here will function as a mentor/write me letters of recomendation or help me networ #and that might be true in fact it Probably Is #but there are other ways out but do I believe that and do I act on it? no to both #augh #i think i need. therapy