#like mobei jun is repressing his feelings and believes that someone like him doesn't fall in love with a human or a servant or a lil rat

[maypersonne]

Shang Qinghua really does think that he is unlovable huh

He really thinks that he is of no value to anyone if he isn't making himself useful he will be disposed off and that will be it

He genuinely believes no would ever want him so he manipulate and posture as a lesser so to be seen as a necessary annoyance rather than the pest he believes himself to be

He hates all the work he has to do but he prefers exhaustion to the paranoia and anxiety that eat him up when he isn't showcasing his value

He is in a constant battle just to be acceptable rather than loved so he can just be in the presence of those who are dear to him

Like damn like father like son I can see where binghe got all his issues like airplane bro stop unloading it all on your OCs look you gave the poor dear anxiety

#sqh child of divorce #svsss #shang qinghua #actually this was part of my grand scheme to formulate that everything is cumplane but like it became its own thing #i was gonna relate it to #moshang #i was trying to say that bingqiu and moshang relationship hangups are similar #like mobei jun is repressing his feelings and believes that someone like him doesn't fall in love with a human or a servant or a lil rat #he internalized how he should and shouldn't act to be socially acceptable like sqq #and like he's difficult to read in general and refuses to talk about his feelings that also he doesn't understand #sqq and mbj both have sinuous minds that defy the mortal's comprehension #anyway #cumplane agenda #sqh: i made a power fantasy! #(cucumber voice): you fucked up a perfectly good protagonist is what you did! look at it it got anxiety! #sqh: well see thats what some would call a self insert #like sqh making memes about isn't making it better but i guess it's maybe better then bottling it all up #sqh got so much of his validation from his readers #so for sy to actually *see* him to criticize him to believe in him to know how good he can be #he doesn't even realize it #that does something sqh's lizard brain