#like legit transphobic parents and ableist parents use really similar language to talk about their kids

[illputdownmyrootswhenimdead]

the good ol "i dont see my child as an individual with their own mind, thoughts, opinions, and unique needs, and instead i see them as an object that i can control and make plans and set up expectations for for without problem or consideration, and if they aren't in the narrow boundaries of what i want them to be, i will act like they have died and talk about how hard this is for ME" special

#child abuse // #transphobia // #ableism // #sorry for how long these tags are i have too many thoughts in my brain. sorry #transphobic parents: im losing my daughter/son :(( its so hard :(( this is literally the same as my child being dead :(( #im watching them destroy themselves :(((( #trans kid: *literally just asked to be called different pronouns or cut their hair or something* #vs #ableist parents: my child doesnt even let me hug them :(( sure its a really unpleasant feeling for them that is very distressing but #what about ME?? :(( my child not liking physical affection is the HARDEST THING EVER im such a brave parent #autistic kid: *just doesnt like being touched because it feels bad and needs other sensory accommodations* #like legit transphobic parents and ableist parents use really similar language to talk about their kids #a lot of implications or outright statements that their children are 'gone' and that their current child is some kind of impostor #do these people think changelings are real?? did they miss the boat on that??? #and the 'im grieving my child' thing is so fucking dumb im sorry #your child isnt dead! theyre the same fucking person dumbass #your child didnt disappear when they realized they were trans or got diagnosed with autism. like. theyre still your fucking kid #these kinds of thoughts lead into shit like this story i heard about online about a father who became an alcoholic #because his son is trans and starting HRT. like this dad completely blames his addiction on his son being trans #because 'his daughter is destroying herself' and 'this stuff tears families apart' #newsflash you dumbfuck your son isnt at fault for you becoming an alcoholic instead of going to therapy to deal with any #complicated feelings or stress due to your son coming out #he did not hold you down and force alcohol down your throat you made the conscious goddamn choice to do that #because youre soooooo distraught that your beautiful daughter is gone :(( #fucking cry about it maybe? #and with ableist parents theres a lot of talk about how they dont feel like their child loves them or how THEY find it hard to love them #which. again. its not their fucking fault its yours for not getting help to fix your shit #just because your child doesnt show affection in the way you do doesnt mean they dont love you or that you shouldnt love them #if you cant love your kid because of them being autistic thats a problem that you need to see a therapist about it. jackass #do not blame your kids!! for your issues!! they can tell!!! and it fucking hurts!!!!!!