#like idk deliberately throw me off my grove

[bitegore]

i have GOT to stop going "omg im high! i should think about everyone being mad at me and there being scary nightmare monsters so i can have a bad high! :D" it DOESNT WORK it just makes me REALLY EXCITED because i want to try having a really bad trip to put the rest of my shit into perspective with and also because it'll be cool. and then i get to wait like 20 minutes and be disappointed that there is no paranoia-inducing scary monster materializing out of my weed. or like. i watched horror movies before the first time i ever did shrooms because i wanted to have a terrible time. that shit DID NOT WORK it was LOVELY and i am STILL DISAPPOINTED even though i am now like forever going to want to do them again for the pleasant and fun time i had the first time round

#red rambles #WILL however say though #because they all respond to and amplify your state of mind. if you're prone to being scared and know how to hack your brain or whatever #i am like 90% sure this makes me (sigh) permanently immune to getting genuinely bad trips and shit #like. i have had [hears spooky noise] [thought: it is the monster] [gets really excited] [distressed emotion goes completely away] 'NO WAIT #ive gotten to the point of almost hvaing bad times. and then i simply do not #i need to like talk one of my meaner friends into following me around with like cymbals and a spray bottle of water or some shit to #like idk deliberately throw me off my grove