#like gee wonder why i still struggle with an eating disorder after over a decade. if i cant fucking off myself might as well take up as lit

[undyinglantern]

being closer to your 30s than 20s and having nothing to show for it is so

#personal #cannot finish college/uni cannot find a job bc poor mental health being dependent on parents still how pathetic #sometimes im like wow i should be grateful i havent been kicked out yet and then its like i need to be as little of a burden as possible #like gee wonder why i still struggle with an eating disorder after over a decade. if i cant fucking off myself might as well take up as lit #le space and use up as little resources as possible #even if i wanted and could afford to go back and get a degree i still wouldnt know what to major or get a degree in #they tell you in high school its okay to be undecided youll figure it out but what if its been 9 years and i still dont know #i know. i guess. also i understand why communication courses are required for a degree but i have failed or dropped out every single class #failed interpersonal communication one semester bc i kept fucking forgetting to take the weekly online quiz and never stopped kicking my ow #ass over it ever since #tried retaking it another cemester and stopped showing up half way though bc i couldnt deal with it anymore #tried taking public speaking another and literally panicked and didnt show up anymore after the first week/class #and that was when i was 18-20 like when its okay if you dont really have anything major to share about your life #imagine being 26 having to go up and say something about yourself and its like. ive been a depressed homebody for the past 5+ years idk wha #else to tell you