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introvertguide · 3 years

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15 Badass Movies for a Fun Time at Home or with Friends

There is a buzz in the air as COVID-19 vaccines are rolling out and the hope of having a movie night with friends is again becoming a reality. Watching alone isn’t as fun because I want to talk to somebody about what I have just seen. A full theater does not agree with my introvert nature because somebody screaming or laughing or talking on their phone will ruin it for me. Watching with a fellow cinephile or two is perfect. But what to watch first? People have been stuck inside, so fantasy and alternative worlds have been overly popular. All I do is talk over zoom for a living. I think what I need most right now is a movie about realistic people with realistic skills that go into a situation and just wreck house. I need a badass movie. What is this “badass” movie you might say? Well, here are some basic criteria: 1) There must be a tough lead character who kicks butt while spouting one liners and doesn’t need superhuman powers (high levels of peak skill with speed, aim, or strength is OK if they are plausible in the real world), 2) most of the characters (good and bad) must be likable, admirable or at least memorable, 3) the lead must face and defeat overwhelming odds against them, and 4) extra points for memorable one liners. Also, I am only dealing with human protagonists (sorry Terminator), but slightly superhuman opposition is acceptable. This list is by no means exhaustive, it is just an example of some badass movies. So in no particular order:

1) Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

To start off the list, I want to mention the most well known American badass. Indiana Jones is a smart guy with a gun and a whip. He is rugged and punches guys in the face. He has weaknesses but works through them to get the job done. Harrison Ford was in his early 40s for this role and had this tough-as-nails and seen the world kind of feel while still being young enough to fight hand to hand. Any of the first three films featuring Indiana Jones would work here, but this is the original and it started the fun. Easy to watch. Easy to cheer for. Great movie. You can’t really go wrong with any age or group with this one.

2) 13 Assassins (2010)

This movie is extremely badass but not for everyone. This is one of the goriest films I have ever seen as 13 warriors kill off a couple of hundred soldiers and the evil leader that they guard. The movie was directed by Japanese extreme horror icon Takashi Miike if that means anything to you (hey made Audition and Ichi the Killer). The movie has gallons of blood, but also an amazing story of redemption and honor. There are tons of scenes of a single warrior taking on dozens of soldiers and managing to overcome. Not for everyone, but still very much a badass movie.

3) The Raid (2011)

This is an Indonesian action thriller with the word action in bold. The film is directed by Gareth Evans and stars Iko Uwais as part of a small police force that tries to take down an old building that houses a drug lord and his violent gang. It has a lot of what I like in badass movies: one-on-one fights between the lead and almost superhuman villains, long well-choreographed scenes, a banging soundtrack, ridiculous weapons, and ridiculous gore. The fight scenes in tight places and the use of the environment for weaponry is amazing and the sound design makes sure you can feel every punch. The lead character should have no chance, but he makes up for it with skill and being a pure badass. This movie is one of the few that I would describe as having non-stop action.

4) Jon Wick (2014)

When did Keanu Reeves become so cool? I grew up with him being part of the Bill and Ted duo. He decides to learn martial arts and play a god-like being in the Matrix movies and then becomes a one man wrecking crew? I guess he is a badass because he does it so well. Keanu plays a retired hitman who is wronged and decides to go back to work for vengeance. He just won’t stop coming and seems to constantly survive out of pure hatred alone. There are 3 films in the series and any one of them will impress. Pure fun too watch.

5) Casino Royale (2006)

When I was asking around, there were many people who thought that James Bond was the ultimate badass. I disagree in that many of the older films show Bond as overconfident with the assistance of many people. In fact, Q is more of a badass in many ways than James Bond. However, when the series was taken back to its roots with the last book that had not been made into a serious film and made darker, it reached badass levels. From the parkour chase to a poisoning to an extreme torture scene, this was not like any James Bond movie before it. Roger Craig plays a much colder lead who gives no quarter, much more like what the greatest secret agent would have to be. Heavy on violence but light on gore, this film is more for all audiences than other films on this list.

6) Desperado (1995)

What makes this movie is not all about Antonio Banderas and Selma Hayek. It is that every other character is memorable and badass as well. The street standoff with Bucho’s men versus El Mariachi, Quino, and Campo is iconic. El Mariachi murders everyone in a bar with precise skill. The rogue assassin Navajas with all the knives played by Danny Trejo. Nothing but extreme shoot outs and fight scenes with a ridiculous variety of guns and explosives. I think what makes this movie so amazing is that all these amazing assassins are incognito and, when they suddenly produce an arsenal out of nowhere, it is always a pleasant surprise. Quino and Campo are amazing when they bring their guitars.

7) Pulp Fiction (1994)

Truly the role that made Samuel L. Jackson into the ultimate badass. He and his partner Vincent are hitman that keep running into the worst situations. The thing about the film is that everybody is so cool. The characters are cool, the music is cool, the dialogue is cool, hell even the diner featured in the movie is cool. The movie only spans a couple of days (in completely separate segments shown out of order) but packs in 7 distinct situations that are all berserk. From the mind of Quentin Tarantino, this movie is dripping with the best characters traveling through the best story. Highly recommend.

8) Leon: The Professional (1994)

Also known simply as The Professional in the U.S., this film features the debut of Natalie Portman. It is directed by Luc Besson at his best period, right between La Femme Nakita and The Fifth Element. The lead is actually a quiet hitman who reluctantly takes a little 12-year-old girl on as an apprentice to become a paid assassin. Her parents were killed by a corrupt cop and she wants Leon to help her exact revenge. He is an absolute badass and somewhat of a caring surrogate father to the girl. Unlike a lot of the films on this list, the premise is not simply kicking butt in a bad situation. There is serious character growth. Apparently you can be a caring parent and a cold-blooded murderer...and that is badass.

9) Kill Bill (2003)

Being a badass is not exclusive to men and The Bride is a prime example of this. She survives a shot to the head, kills deadly assassins, slaughters a gang, and takes on a crazy school girl bodyguard. She is tougher then any lead I can think of and she has the bad attitude and sense of vengeance that makes for a badass. Combine this with the soundtrack and beautiful cinematography associated with director Quentin Tarantino and you have a beautifully violent movie in which the hits keep coming. Even on this list, the fight scene between the bride and Gogo Yubari is insane. Also note the nod to Bruce Lee with the bright yellow motorcycle suit. Beautifully badass film.

10) Aliens (1986)

In nature, there are few things more dangerous than a mother protecting their young. A mother will fight you to the death and make sure that, at the very least, you won’t be able to go after her kids. Now imagine an alien planet covered with hostile beings created in the mind of James Cameron and Stan Winston and you have a setting made to create a real badass. In the beginning, Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) is just desperate to survive and barely knows how to use a weapon. She meets a little survivor named Newt and then has a real reason to become aggressive. She and a group of marines fight through a station filled with super destructive xenomorph aliens made straight from nightmares to save this kid. The transformation is truly amazing and culminates in a mech suit versus a giant queen alien and it is extremely badass.

11) Army of Darkness (1992)

Far and away the funniest movie on this list, this is the third film stemming from Evil Dead and again stars Bruce Campbell taking on the deadites that were raised by reading from the Necronomicon. The opposition is the undead evil that faces the world which makes the violence very unrealistic. This was early work from Sam Raimi and features a variety of different shots done to the extreme. What really makes this film stand out is how Bruce Campbell is amazing at delivering a one liner. His classic quips have been used as fun Easter eggs in video games like Duke Nukem and World of Warcraft for decades. The quintessential horror comedy and a perfect example of a badass.

12) Die Hard (1988)

Apparently, I am a big fan of single characters that need to work their way through a building of villains using mostly intelligence and the element of surprise. Throw in some one liners and I am all for it. That is exactly what this is with Bruce Willis crawling barefoot around a 40 story building and fighting off a gang of villains. The movie also has Alan Rickman as the main bad guy and he is chewing the scenery. This is a great example of being a badass, but it is too bad that the follow up sequels were so poor. Definitely stick to the original and let the rest pass by.

13) The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (1966)

An OG of the badass movie genre, this is some of the best of Sergio Leone and the spaghetti western. Instead of one badass, this movie has three different leads that are all amazing. You have the good, Clint Eastwood, who is an amazing shot and a heart of gold under a rough exterior. You have the bad, Lee Van Cleef, playing an conniving assassin that will kill anyone that he doesn’t have a use for. Finally, you have the ugly, Eli Wallach, as a desert rat that will do anything to survive. They all gain information about a gold stash and need to work together to get it, but this creates a vortex of cheating, undercutting, and straight up murder. Clint Eastwood is more of the classic badass with his cigar, hat, and poncho, It is an iconic look on an iconic character in an iconic movie. That is what I call badass.

14) Ong-Bak (2003)

This less of a badass movie and more houses some of the most amazingly badass fight scenes that can only be described as badass. This movie introduced the great Tony Jaa to the western world and showed the high flying nature of Thai boxing and Muay Thai in general. The main character is entered into a street fighting tournament and the moves include a flying double knee drop and a full splits kick. If the whole movie was the tournament, it would be the best movie that ever existed. The variety of opponents makes the fighting even better and the cinematography is top notch. Tony Jaa is truly badass in this film.

15) Dredd (2012)

Not the crappy version with Stallone, this movie is seriously badass. It features Karl Urban who is helmeted for the entire film (as Dredd would be) taking on a 200 story mega slum filled with residents that want to shoot him dead. There is a drug dealer high up in the building and she locks down the entire compound with instructions to kill Dredd, who only has his rookie partner to help. He takes on random resident mobs, groups of gang members, and even a trio of mini guns that have bullets that can rip through walls. He has a smart gun with a bunch of ammo that he uses judiciously to kill everybody. This movie was seriously underrated since it had not been that long since the garbage Judge Dredd came out in 1995. The 2012 is a far superior movie, being much more violent and dark instead of having Rob Schneider as the comedy relief (not badass).

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I know there will be a lot of opinions about what makes a badass film and what movies i didn’t add. Feel free to add your own movies or critique my choices. I will stand by my choices, however, and recommend any of these films for a night of cheers and badass action.

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outofoxygen · 5 years

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NEW - A nice game for cute children.

Before I begin: This review is more professional than my last (Elsewhere) as I feel NEW deserves my respect and consideration more than Elsewhere ever has. Now then, I shall review NEW.

By the way, yes, I am back. I will work on more reviews. But I won’t follow a schedule that is easy to understand in any vague sense, and I’ll just write reviews about what interests me at the minute. (Quick after-post edit to add tags here.)

[ S P O I L E R S F O R N E W ]

[ P L A Y N E W I F Y O U H A V E N ‘ T ]

Part One: Foreword

Oh boy, a new form of padding. Now then, to preface this, I will warn you that I do enjoy NEW, and that I don’t wish its creator ill will, I afford them all proper respect, and I’m not going to talk about Mr. Evan Vasejeff (The creator of NEW).

Part Two: Plot Synopsis

The Batter is back, this time as a Prophet instead of a savior. This time, he has the goal of rendering all the Zones ‘safe’ instead of ‘pure’.

Zone 0 introduces us to Valerie, who is written better than HOME. I’ll write further about him in the Characters section. After a few puzzles, we head off to Zone 1.

Zone 1 is mostly similar to OFF, except Dedan is missing and replaced by a overweight idiotic chef. This chef (named Gabriel) is introduced to be malevolent and idiotic from his first appearance, all the way to his last, where you render him into a bloody corpse.

Zone 2 turned into a more pathetic hellscape than usual, with the nice aesthetic addition of a Japhet corpse on the roof. By the way, the Mall looks beautiful awful now. The game introduces a red herring (Oedipus, a little girl whom The Batter ends up beating to hell and back) before you meet the final villain, Angela, an insane spirit infesting a mannequin that The Batter summarily destroys.

Zone 3 is this time played backwards, with The Batter going from Area 4 to a mythical Area 0. All the while, you are pestered by Sonovan, an odd-talking priest and general narcissist, who eventually fights The Batter, is beaten, quickly jacks up Valerie (just play the game if you want to understand this better), then gets killed by The Batter, who mercy-kills Valerie at his own request. You then go and defeat Gazmel, who is, in his own words, Satan.

Zone 4 (or, The Echelon) is a miserable hellscape that is actually just a part of The Room, maybe. You meet ‘Vincent “Ivius” Corsacoff the 2nd’, who I shall permanently refer to as ‘Ivius’, as his actual name is incredibly long and annoying. So you head onto a roof, where you talk to Ivius, going on to fight him, before inevitably winning, and going to The Room itself.

Of course, The Room is a strange mindnumb I won’t be going into too much, as I feel like getting this poor-quality plot synopsis over with.

Part 3: Characters

The Batter - As I mentioned, he’s a prophet instead of purifier. His goal is to make the zones ‘safe’ instead of ‘pure’, and he seems to be more mellowed out now. On occasion, he interrupts himself before carrying on with a thought (ie. he comments upon Oedipus’ mention of comics named ‘Batteur and Boxxer’ by stating “What kind of trite do you read? "Panic in Ballvile" is obviously-” before cutting himself short and carrying on the dialogue.) and generally, The Batter seems altogether more.. human than before. Other than that, he is mostly the same character as before, and still a bat-wielding protagonist.

Valerie - The cat we (don’t really) know from OFF. I can state something about NEW’s characterization of Valerie: It was executed very well! Mortis Ghost has stated that Valerie was more soft-spoken and shy than The Judge, and NEW does indeed follow through with Mortis Ghost’s stated character of Valerie. He comes across as a shy, introverted, socially awkward cat, and that altogether works very well for him. He’s also the new Guardian of Zone 0.

Zacharie - I’ll say more in the Merchants category.

The Judge - Our favorite, eloquent cat! .. except, he’s taken Hugo’s place. Also, unlike Hugo, he’s not that nice. Or innocent, really. He’s become corrupt with absolute power over the world, and as such, has used his raw powers of creation to muck about, creating demonic feline entities known as Jury, which replace Secretaries in NEW. Of course, the implications of this are quite large in scope, and will take up a portion of the Lore section.

Part 4: Music

I will state this immediately: This fangame has some incredible tracks. These include: My personal favorite, Awesome Miniboss, Crying Girls Part 1-2 (which are actually samples of Is Dancing Till Her Head Explodes, from Alias Conrad Coldwood’s album Crying Girls), Dented Helmets on TV, Stay in in Stay (A remix of Stay In Your Coma), and Funky Bucket of Nasty Noises, among plenty others. Its soundtrack complements the game, and it’d be an incredible mistake to play it without listening to its excellent tracks. One warning for headphone users though: the miss sound is awful, and it’s rather loud in comparison to the other sounds.

Part 5: Basic Enemies

The enemies in this game are well-designed, with inventive competence names and lovely art. They’re well-made, and this fangame clearly had a lot of care put into it. However, I have never had to grind so much in my life. The enemies are rather harsh, and you will suffer. Before anyone tosses an ‘git gud’ in my face, I did. After a while, The Batter will be so high-leveled that bosses fall in a heartbeat against his bat’s blows and his add-on’s.. cuts(?). Now then, on to the next section.

Part 6: Merchants

I think everyone reading this knows of my distaste, my violent hatred of fangames using Zacharie as a merchant? So, who is the merchant of NEW?

.. this guy. Zacharie. But, just look at his face. Look at that face. I.. I can’t be mad. To be honest, I found this incredibly amusing. I simply cannot be mad. His face.. It’s absolutely hilarious. Zacharie is absolutely ridiculous in this fangame, and I cannot be as vitriolic as usual. Sorry.

Carrying on, I almost feel like NEW mocks Zacharie in a way; outside the mall, there are two statues of Zacharie with his mask as how it originally looked. What does The Batter have to say about this? “A statue of Zacharie when he looked less pathetic.” All throughout the game, The Batter insults Zacharie. Here’s another line of this, as an example: “I'm tired of this wild goose chase. I've went through one too many things. One of those horrific things being friends with Zacharie.” Finally, Zacharie repainted the mall an awful pink color, which The Batter is clearly disgusted by, including making a comment about Zacharie having poor taste.

Altogether, I feel like NEW uses Zacharie in a way that I can’t be mad at.

Part 7: Lore

NEW takes place after the events of OFF. The Batter returns, and fights 4 Purifiers instead of 4 Guardians, and it seems the original 3 are dead. The world is a corrupted shade of a corrupted world; it is broken to the point of being unable to be fixed. One actually gets the sense that The Batter is righting wrongs, and fixing the world.

But, let’s talk about the position Hugo filled, and that The Judge fills. In the events of NEW, The Batter is looking for The Judge as he makes the Zones ‘safe’. It turns out The Judge has taken up the mantle of Creator and God, and has become corrupted by his new-found power. Which implies quite a few.. unpleasant ideas. If the power Hugo had can corrupt someone with as pure intentions as The Judge, was Hugo also corrupt? If NEW’s idea of how the next Creator takes power (basically, how The Judge offs The Batter) is correct, does that mean any number of individuals could become Creators in their own right, merely by killing The Batter at the apex of his quest?

But let us leave behind these thoughts, and carry on; we are nearly at the end, and I have more reviews to do.

Part 8: Does This Game Fit In With OFF?

Yes. I hold NEW as my personal pick for an unofficial OFF sequel, and I am proud in that. Its lore doesn’t contradict OFF’s; in fact, it follows the lore as closely as possible, and its lore, whilst small, is worthwhile to notice and consider. I believe that it adds on to OFF’s weird world.

Part 9: Conclusion

I hold this fangame in high esteem. I view it as an example of what one person, with naught but a computer and a dream, can achieve. In the end, though, I suppose NEW asks us a question. A very important one, and one I’ll state directly.

Would you like to start a new game?

#NEW #off fangame #off #a review

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imsfire2 · 6 years

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Marvel asks: All of them! Sorry, can't choose! ^^'

AAAAARRRGGHHHH!!! Well that’ll larn me!

Marvel asks

Tony Stark: favorite movie?

Close call; I’m very fond of “Avengers Assemble”, “Thor” and “CA:TWS”, but the one that has wowed me the most of all was “Black Panther”, which took everything to a new level of brilliance.

Drax: what character would you wanna be friends with?

I’m going to make this “characterS” and say Jane Foster, Aunt May, and General Okoye. A lot of my other faves probably wouldn’t be so easy to be friends with (too prickly, messed-up, hyper-focussed, downright dangerous, etc) but I would love to be mates with these three!

Valkyrie: favorite director?

Ryan Coogler, no question!

Pepper Potts: top 3 fave characters

Ugh, very hard to choose! Most of our protagonists are pretty cool, in their different ways. Let’s pick three of the women; Okoye, Gamora, Natasha. But I could just as easily have said Nakia, Hope and Hawkeye. Or Rocket, Groot and Shuri. Or...

Yeah, very hard to choose.

Sam Wilson: funniest scene?

Unlike a lot of people I loathed the relentless humour in “Ragnarok”. So I’m going to say, Sam and Cap’s first meeting in TWS, which is gentle and kind, and character-driven.

And (although it’s rather sick humour) “He’s adopted” is very funny.

Bucky Barnes: most heartbreaking moment?

The bit in TWS when the pilots try to take off and provide air support and are shot down before they can get to their planes. Reduces me to tears every time.

Nakia: character you wish had a bigger role?

I want to see more of Shuri!

Rocket Racoon: best nickname?

I don’t think I know the scripts well enough! “Legolas”, possibly?

Natasha Romanoff: favorite ass kicking scene?

Another one that’s very hard to choose.

Natasha’s first scene, maybe, when she’s barefoot and unarmed and still beats the shit out of half a dozen brawny guys. It’s such a great use of an action scene to establish character. I also love her fight with possessed!Hawkeye.

But on the other hand, the Dora Milje’s team fighting style is unbelievably awesome...

Ned Leeds: favorite villain?

Killmonger, no contest. He’s rounded, believable, well-motivated, and even though you know he’s wrong you empathise with him. Masterclass in how to write a top-notch antagonist.

I also really liked Toomes/Vulture in “Spiderman Homecoming”. Again, because he had good motivation and was an interesting rounded character, not a cardboard “I wanna rule/destroy the world >snarl snarl

Bruce Banner: guardians or avengers?

For sheer fun, Guardians. But I’m enjoying seeing them all meet up!

Thor Odinson: most attractive character?

Still Hawkeye. Give me those Renner arms.

Gamora: favorite pairing?

As in Ship? T’Challa/Nakia, and Gamora/Peter Q.

As in Best mates? Rocket & Groot, Peggy & Jarvis, and Peter P & Ned.

Mantis: what do you think will happen in Avengers 4?

I’m with @hanorganaas on this; it’ll have to involve time travel in some form, to bring back at least some of those lost. Also I have it on good authority from @spectralarchers that Hawkeye will come back as Ronin. And clearly a certain Carol Danvers is going to be involved.

There’ll be an opening section where the traumatised survivors are trying to regroup in a shattered world. Somehow or other the script will have to contrive another “lowest ebb” moment even lower than the end of “Infinity War” (& I don’t envy the people tasked with that!) because that’s how script dynamics work. But ultimately the big purple knob-head will be defeated.

Shuri: most rewatched movie?

Either “Avengers assemble” or “Guardians of the Galaxy”; I haven’t kept count, but they are the ones I go back to for a happy evening slobbed out in front of the telly with a big bag of tortilla chips.

Peter Parker: best outfit/suit?

As a Superhero Suit, I love the Ant-man suit!

As actual wearable clothes, I’d like to have Gamora’s leathers, especially the red coat; practical and sexy.

Happy Hogan: what ‘superpower’ is the coolest?

Well, I’ve always wanted to be able to fly, so any of the superpowers that give you that would be great!

I also love the way Mantis’ abilities take something that culturally is just expected of “nice good girls” (being empathetic, reading others emotions and reactions, being able to soothe down even the most aggressive person) and make it a fucking superpower!

Aunt may: most painful death?

After those brave pilots in TWS? Pietro. Really didn’t see that one coming.

Pietro Maximoff: Peter Quill or Peter Parker?

Aww, don’t make me chose! Quill is so cute!

I was never a Peter Parker fan until Tom Holland but now - ok, Peter Parker.

Heimdall: would you like a Deadpool crossover?

Properly done, then hell yeah! But it would need a very, very good script to juggle the emotional/tonal switchbacks required.

Steve Rogers: who resembles their role the most?

From what we get to see as fans? I’d have to go with Chris Evans.

Rhodey: who resembles their role the least?

Karen Gillan certainly doesn’t sound much like Nebula!

T’challa: favorite non-romantic pairing?

I’ve already suggested a couple of Best-mates relationships; so how about some siblings? Gamora and Nebula; so much tension, so much anger and yet so much torn, blood-soaked loyalty. It’s just as interesting a dynamic as the one between Thor and Loki, with a lot less screentime than that has had.

I also liked the sibling loyalty and love between Wanda and Pietro. Always good to see a happy sibling relationship, when Screenwriting 101 would have it that only sibling rivalry is interesting...

Peter Quill: favorite place in the mcu?

That’s going to be a tie between Know-where, for the visuals, and Wakanda, for - well, everything really.

Loki laufeyson: best line/quote?

Ugh, there have been a lot of great lines. Right now, I’m going to go with Okoye’s “For Wakanda? Without question.” Such a fantastic use of a single line to cement how her character is the embodiment of honour.

Scott Lang: do you think you’d have died in the snap?

Hmm. I kind of hope I would, to be honest; life afterwards is going to be spectacularly hellish until they manage to fix it.

Stephen strange: favorite song used?

The opening of “Guardians of the Galaxy”, with Quill slogging through the rain and then putting on “Come and get your love” on his walkman and starting to dance. Just gorgeous; as a sequence, as framing, as a way of telling us something about him very economically, as a device to show us this is going to be a hell of a fun ride...

Phil Coulson: the moment you fell in love with your favorite character?

Seeing as I find it impossibly difficult to pick a favourite in the first place, this is one I can’t answer!

Okoye: which movies did you see in cinema?

All of them bar the first two “Iron Man” films.

Maria Hill: favorite special credits?

What, as in “Mr Evans’ marmalade sandwiches made by” kind of thing? I’m not sure I pay enough attention to the credits to have ever noticed one (I made that one up, needless to say).

Or are “special credits” like cameos? A nod to the mourners for Yondu, then.

Erik Killmonger: favorite press moment/interview

Way back during the press tour for “Avengers assemble”; a journalist asked RDJ in-depth questions on Tony’s motivation and development, and then only asked Scarlett Johansson some ridiculous thing about her diet; and instead of answering with a patient smile she called him out on it.

It was only, what, five years ago, yet it was almost unheard-of then for a female actor to bite back publically like that. And the good thing is, that already seems pretty extraordinary.

Wanda Maximoff: favorite relationship of the actors?

I don’t know enough about their relationships to have one, really.

Nebula: favorite minor character?

Luis. An “ordinary person” character who is highly likeable in his own right and who does the right thing even when he knows it’s bloody dangerous & could get him killed. For similar reasons I’m also very fond of Cameron Klein and Dr Helen Cho.

Vision: Steve with or without a beard?

Without, definitely. Not a great fan of beards to be honest. There’s the odd face that looks great with one (thinking of a certain Mexican actor and rare fern collector) but mostly they’re just fashionable face-fur.

Nick Fury: what actor would you like to see join the mcu and for what role?

On one level, I’m content to wait and see what they come up with. I’m not a comic-reader, so I know almost nothing about any of the characters until they appear in the MCU, which makes dream-casting any of them pretty difficult.

On the other hand, I did read a rumour that John Boyega is in line for a future role; and as I’m a huge fan of his I would love for that to be true!

Hope Van Dyne: expectations for ‘Captain Marvel’?

As a non-comics person, I don’t know anything about the character or her story. Hopefully we’ll get an interesting, well-rounded female lead with solid motivation and her plot-line isn’t primarily about a) a man or b) not being able to have children. Or c) her children being dead.

Groot: I am Groot?

We are Groot.

Grandmaster: which characters would you like to see interact more?

Shuri with all the scientists!

Peggy Carter: Hulk or Banner?

Both. Both is good.

Luis: favorite Chris?

I’m sure they’re all lovely chaps.

Michelle Jones: would you like a Black Widow movie?

I’d like to see lots of the female characters get stand-alone films. So, yes please to a “Black Widow” movie, but also, hmm, let’s see; how about a “Shuri and Jane Foster Science the Shit Out Of This Mess” movie? A “Peggy Carter and the early days of SHIELD” movie? A “Nakia the Super-spy” movie?

Sif: long hair Thor or short hair Thor?

Long hair. Markedly more appealing with long hair.

Jane Foster: favorite character development?

I love the way Steve Rogers’ story kind-of goes in cycles of effort and hope and bitter experience, and always comes back round to situations where he affirms who he essentially is. It’s good to see a non-liner pattern of development like that, which is much closer to how real people deleop and change, instead of the standard narrative “A to B” model like Dr Strange (”was a jerk, learned to do better” - okay, he saves the world, so that’s good; but as for development, pish).

Yondu: favorite after-credit scene?

The Shawarma joint.

Also Hope seeing the Wasp suit for the first time.

Wong: favorite marvel intro?

Not sure I pay that much attention to the intros, tbh. I’m just sitting there thinking “Give me the story, folks!”

Thank you for asking! - and thank you, if you’ve had the patience to slog through all this, for reading!

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connormurphyprinterboy · 7 years

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Realizing His Powers: A Printer Boy Story

The year is 2005.

It’s a Thursday in Mid-October. The day after Connor first realized his powers.

The time is 7:13.

“How was school yesterday Connor?” Ask Larry

“Fine.” Replied our protagonist

“I heard that he threw the teacher’s printer at Mrs. G!” Zoe yelled

“Shut up Zoe!!” Connor cried

The parents exchanged worried glances. Had Connor gotten ~the powers~. No. Impossible. No one had been affected by them in generations. They were simply a myth.

“Now Zoe, how would your brother do that? The printer is much too big” Cynthia trying to convince herself more than anyone else

“And Connor, don’t tell your sister to shut up.” Larry scolded. Zoe always was his favorite.

“Connor, go change out of your pajamas, you’re going to be late for school!” Cynthia suddenly realized the time.

Connor got up and headed to his room, as he reached his door he heard the distressed cry of his sister

“CONNOR FINISHED THE MILK!”

Hehe

*Overhear at the Murphy’s.*

“Are you sure it isn’t happening?” Larry asked

“No, I’m not sure. This hasn’t happened for so long, no one knows what it looks like. The last time it was in the twenties, and with toasters.”

“I just wish you had told me this *before* we got married.”

“It’s not like I thought this would happen!”

“I can’t believe our son has powers…And they all revolve around a god damn printer….Of all the things.”

“We aren’t for sure, honey. We don’t even know if it’s true”

The year is 2009. Four years since the birth of Printer Boy.

It’s a Friday, late July.

The time is 2:34 AM

“Come on brain, think of things” Connor chanted as he worked on his summer essay over The Outsiders, to be turned in the first day of 7th grade.

He couldn’t sleep, so he might as well work on this.

He looked back at the time. 3:13 AM.

He sighed, but he was done.

He hit “print”, and got up to retrieve the paper from his father’s office.

Nothing was on the Printer. Connor sighed. Technology was not Connor’s friend. He approached the Printer to check if it still had paper in it. The moment his hand touched the Printer, it turned on, and out came his paper…

This wasn’t the first time something like this had happened.

~~~this is a flashback sequence~~~

It was January of Connor’s second grade year, and Mrs. G still had not gotten over the printer incident. The children were doing a project in the computer lab, and it came time for them to print the project. Several students were having difficulty printing their assignment, and per usual, the jokes started:

“I bet Connor got upset and broke this printer too!”

“What has Connor done now?”

This happened everytime the Printer, or any other piece of technology stopped working. Connor was used to it, but it still bothered him.

“Hey?” Connor’s classmate, Lily asked “Do you think you can help me with this, Printer Boy?”

She, unlike the other students, didn’t use this as an insult, but more like a term of endearment. Connor stood and took control of her mouse, and within seconds the printer started up and out came Lily’s project.

Connor and Lily were the only two that got their projects printed that day.

~scene change occurs here~

Once again, Zoe had waited until last minute to print her science fair abstract, and once again she was in tears over the fact that the Printer was jammed.

Connor, now in 5th grade, stepped out of his room to find his sister Zoe in the hallway screaming about how she was going to fail the 4th grade because the stupid printer wouldn’t work. He just kind of looked at her. She saw him standing there and asked.

“Could you help me? You printed yours last night?"

Connor shrugged and headed towards the office where the printer was located. He took one look at the mess of a printer, jammed beyond belief. What had Zoe done to the poor thing? The paper was sticking out sideways and was all torn up.

Connor grabbed hold of the paper, and it gave way, slipping right out. Zoe’s paper soon followed. Zoe snatched her paper and beamed.

"Thanks Printer Boy!!”

~This is where the next scene change occurs~

It was only earlier that summer, when Connor had seen the insanely annoying Jared Kleinman at the public library, dragging around that weird boy from school who had no friends, but who was Connor to judge. He didn’t have friends either.

Connor was sat at a computer typing furiously, writing a story about his sister Zoe, and how she was really a troll. It was awesome. When Jared Kleinman approached him and asked

“Do you have a dime?"

"W-w-what?” Connor stumbles over his words, surprised by the sudden interruption.

“Do you have a dime? Like 10¢? For the printer?"

"Umm, no, but why do you need it?”

“Evan wants to print this picture of a truck with trees painted on it so he can show him mom when she gets home. I don’t know man, but do you have a dime?” This didn’t help Connor. He had printed tons of stuff, but never had to pay.

“Let me see” he replied and walked over to the printer where the other boy, Evan, was standing. The display read:

“Insert $0.10 to print"

"That’s weird” Connor thought, it never said that when he tried to print, it always just printed.

He pressed the large “PRINT” button and out came the picture.

“How did you do that?” Jared asked “I’ve been trying to hack the thing for ten minutes!”

“I don’t know, I just hit print” Connor replied

“Okay, well thanks anyway, Printer Boy” Jared said with a light hearted laugh as he handed the picture to Evan, who hugged it to his chest. “Let’s go Evan, I’ve spent my hour with you"

Connor smiled to himself… Printer Boy

~~~~THE FLASHBACKS ARE NOW OVER~~~~

Now, as you,our reader, may have guessed, Connor now realized that he has some form of power over printers, and heads straight for the internet.

Searching such things as

I have magic abilities, please help

And

Printers bend to my will, what is wrong with me?

To no avail.

Along with this realization, Connor felt a darkness wash over him. Imagine a ton of bricks falling on top of you all at once. The feeling felt almost like it was tugging at him, and suddenly he had no motivation to do anything. This feeling resided inside of him at all times, but moments like this were especially hard.

He had felt this before and knew it would be a rough week ahead. He wouldn’t want to leave his bed, much less his room, and he’ll have to listen to his dad tell his mom that it’s was "just a lazy teen thing” but Connor felt like that wasn’t it.

With no help from the internet, Connor closed his laptop, laid down, and tried to sleep. The time was 4:02 AM.

The year is 2010.

It’s a December evening.

The time is 5:00

Connor heard the clock strike 5 and looked up at his mother. He finally had the courage to talk to her about this whole thing. He told himself he’d do it at 5 o'clock, and he was going to do it.

“Mom. Can I talk to you?”

“Of course Connor, what is it?” Cynthia replied, mildly shocked. He son hadn’t come to her for years, and rarely addressed her as"mom" anymore.

“I-I-I’m not really sure, I just. I’ve been wanting to talk to you about some things.”

“Yes of course. You can talk to me about any thing honey.”

“I just. I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. Like I’m more, well I’m not more sad but it’s kind of like sad, but it’s all the time. I’m just sad all the time mom and I don’t know why, I’m drowning mom… I’m drowning.” Connor blurted out. Trying not to cry in front of his mother.

“Oh honey, that’s perfectly normal for kids your age. Your hormones are all crazy because you’re growing up”

“No. It’s different than that! I see the other kids my age and none of them feel like this! I’m the only one that is sad all the time! They make fun of me for it mom. I have no friends and it’s all because I was weird and now I’m sad and no one likes the weird, sad boy! And I know you bought me that dumb suit, but I’m never going to get invited to anyone’s dumb party because I HAVE NO FRIENDS!” Connor was screaming by the end, and ran from the kitchen, to his room, and slammed the door.

“Drama queen” Zoe said from the living room, only to be heard by no one.

Overhear from the bedroom of Cynthia and Larry Murphy later that evening:

Time: 9:57

“I’m still worried about Connor, Larry” Cynthia confided in her husband

“It’s like you said, he’s just a teenager. He’ll be okay. He always was a weird one. And never failed to be dramatic” Larry tried to reassure her.

“I know, but it’s just…I remember the stories I heard as a kid. From the stories great auntie Kaitlyn seemed to have trouble like that too…” Cynthia began to get more worried about her son with every passing second.

“Nonsense. Plus, I thought we were done talking about all this magic power hogwash” Larry half-scolded

“You’re right now I’m being ridiculous. He’ll be fine. He’s going to be fine.” Cynthia said, rather half heartedly. She was still very worried.

To be continued...

#the things I do for Printer Boy #Connor Murphy #dear Evan Hansen #jared kleinman #evan hansen #zoe murphy #please love this #it's a bit longer than the first part #I love my son #he is trying so hard #Lily is back and she will appear again soon #I haven't even started part three but hey!

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