#letterbox .𖥔 ݁ ˖

[n0stalgicv0id]

Oh so you don’t have anyone in mind at all ?? What type of person would be your ideal darling ? I’m curious ( In reference to the previous ask about having a beloved btw )

My dear anon came back, I was waiting for you all day. I don’t have anyone in mind. And my type would be someone kind to me, that can reassure me and be equally obsessed as I am. I’m quite jealous myself. Mutual respect and loyalty is the key of all doors. Writing poems dedicated to each other

#letterbox .𖥔 ݁ ˖

[ningb00]

⃘ ֹ ִ 🎧 ֹ ִ s͟t͟a͟r͟s͟ ִ ֹ ★ ִ ꒱

⊹⇝ NING YIZHUO of aespa !! ★ admin : @allyourblues (poetry) °

⌗ . . 🧷 About her ౨ৎㅤ

𓏸ㅤㅤׅㅤsingle i guess?

★ sibs : @i9jcb @chaeflm @sumifvs @hikahikaruru <3

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[whorechives]

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[angelicallyher]

𝐈. 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 & 𝐑𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 𖥔

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𝐈𝐈. 𝐁𝐄𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓 𖥔

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[n0stalgicv0id]

HELLO NULL!! it's nice to see you :3 could you tell me more about your ideal kind of love? I love talking about it

Hi anon, sorry the late reply but I was asleep. Glad to see you too! Answering your question personally I’m all for quality time, but since I’m quite the busy person words of affirmation are a big boost to me. If I should tell you about my ideal kind of love that I’m looking for is just someone who’s shiny in my eyes, passionate, a bit the bubbly person but who also enjoys silence. I don’t really have a “type”, I don’t even care about gender or anything. Just someone genuine who isn’t afraid to show me even their flaws. Someone that can rely on me even in their worst moments and improve together if that makes any sense. If you have specific questions just ask me, I’m more than happy to answer

#letterbox .𖥔 ݁ ˖

[n0stalgicv0id]

Can I idolize you?

Flattery will get you nowhere, but I appreciate the gesture

#letterbox .𖥔 ݁ ˖

[n0stalgicv0id]

Emo guys with long hair with half in a ponytail👀👀👀

Reminds me of Uta from Tokyo ghoul who I had a major crush on when I was younger😂

I don’t have the context of what you were referring to anon, although Uta was also one of my crushes back in the days

#letterbox .𖥔 ݁ ˖

[n0stalgicv0id]

you're so cute.. id be so happy if i had someone just like you

That’s such a nice thing to say, thank you

#letterbox .𖥔 ݁ ˖

[n0stalgicv0id]

Mine mine mine <e

I’m all yours

#letterbox .𖥔 ݁ ˖ #🪼

[n0stalgicv0id]

i don’t feel pressured at all, i wouldn’t have asked if i didn’t want to. i’ll probably dm you and ask for your discord there if that’s ok!

- 💫

That’s completely fine with me so don’t worry about it

#letterbox .𖥔 ݁ ˖ #💫 anon

[n0stalgicv0id]

wow, that is a big time difference! i’m curious and feel inclined to tell you who i am. shall i reveal myself? i want to talk to you. (perhaps through dm or discord if you have it)

-💫

Of course only if you want to, I don’t want you to feel pressured or anything so if you don’t want to that’s okay. I also have discord

#letterbox .𖥔 ݁ ˖

[n0stalgicv0id]

yes, i do know all of those bands! tear you apart is a song by she wants revenge that i feel represents my trauma really well. i was introduced to placebo by a former fp, particularly their cover of running up that hill and every me every you. my dad is really into depeche mode and i really love their song enjoy the silence, i made art inspired by it. i’d like to show you but unfortunately you can’t send media through anon asks.

to answer your question, my timezone is cst (cdt currently because of the time of year) and i live in the midwest united states.

- 💫

Your father have immaculate tastes for sure, I get the feeling. Unfortunately most people I know don’t enjoy these genres so I can’t talk much about it. Now pop music is the most famous genre, it’s surprising how popular it has become over the years. I’m old fashioned when it comes to music, I’m a huge enjoyer of 80/90s music. And collecting vinyls is one of my fav hobbies - although they are expensive so I just go to conventions to fetch them when I have extra money to spend and it happens extremely rarely. If you want you can send me the pics privately, I don’t mind it so do whatever you want.

We have a big time gap but I don’t mind, I go to sleep quite late due to insomnia. I’m from Italy so is cet

#letterbox .𖥔 ݁ ˖ #💫 anon

[n0stalgicv0id]

ooh music! i love music so much, i wish i could be a musician. i love the emotional experience of listening to music, because of my bpd, i often can almost feel the emotion in the song, the singer’s voice, the lyrics, the instruments. sometimes it gets so intense, i genuinely feel like i’m going to explode. one song that really makes me feel like i’m going to spontaneously combust and often makes me cry is fulton street i by la dispute. but lately i’ve been listening to hail the thief by radiohead (my favorite songs from the album are 2 + 2 = 5, where i end and you begin, and myxomatosis)

- 💫

This is interesting. Actually I’m taking both piano and singing classes in my free time, after the current studies I want to enroll in the music conservatory. It’s such an interesting field. I’m a very sensitive person so it happens to time to time to feel deeply connected with everything piece of media that I can find. As example I love Heathers (both movie and musical ver), JD character is similar to me in so many ways that I can’t picture myself without him. I think it’s refreshing to be honest about our true feelings, most people tend to hide them out of pride and shame. But it shouldn’t be the main problem here, society just made us believe this was a weakness. It’s important to have balance in all kind of relationships but I know the struggle as I have myself bpd symptoms. Most people can’t take the mood swings and I totally understand them, their feelings are valid but I’m done to even trying to match puzzles when they clearly don’t work. This one of the main reasons I started this blog. To feel a bit less lonely.

Radiohead are such a good band, I can see why you like their music. I used to listen to them a lot, my fav album was OK computer. Especially the songs “climbing up the walls” and “let down”. But through time I kinda left them behind, I started to enjoy other bands like Depeche Mode, Placebo and She Wants Revenge. I think you’d love their music but you’ve probably heard of them. I’m really into songs full of insanity, it’s incredibly relaxing to me. I feel rather awkward when I try to listen to love songs when they don’t portray obsession so I prefer to ignore them out. I highly recommend the last band, they are underrated and I don’t know why. They write about bpd in a very familiar way and I hardly found a band like theirs.

Sorry for the late reply, I fell asleep at the end out of exhaustion. We have a different time zone for sure. This makes me curious to ask about where are you from?

#letterbox .𖥔 ݁ ˖ #💫 anon

[n0stalgicv0id]

trying to think of interesting things to say. i struggle to find things to say because i want to keep your interest in me. perhaps if you have any questions, that would be helpful.

- 💫

Actually this is so endearing, it’s not like a person should be defined by these things. I usually have an hard time having conversations so please, don’t worry at all, I always reply to anyone who wants to interact with me. I’m not that kind of person. Just thinking about something to describe yourself, your likes and dislikes. For example do you like music? Movies? Tell me more!

#letterbox .𖥔 ݁ ˖ #💫 anon

[n0stalgicv0id]

generally when i write, it’s due to a random spark of inspiration. whether it be a person, a song, a poem, or just a line that’s put in my head (that’s sometimes how i start). i can’t write if uninspired. i view writing like water, a good poem should flow like water. and that’s how it feels when the words pour out of my fingertips and onto the screen. i fixate on every detail and can spend hours writing and editing to make it perfect so i’m very glad you like it.

(also some of my interests including reading, writing—particularly poetry, and psychology, i particularly hyperfixate on my own disorders and have a huge hyperfixation on bpd because of it)

- 💫

I’m glad we are on the same page. Usually when I write I should be inspired at the moment, then it all flows together. I dislike to start a work and then come back to it later, it doesn’t hit me as hard as the first time. I mostly take inspiration when I’m out admiring the nature or cemeteries. To me they are extremely peaceful and soothing for some reasons.

All valid interests if you ask me, I’m a huge bookworm and psychology is such an interesting field. I usually don’t read poetry but if you have suggestions I’d be more than happy to hear them, one of the last books I read was a collection of selected poems by Brontë. Apart that I’m afraid to say that I’m dry on the subject. I also tend to obsess on my mental disorders and there’s no problem with that, it’s our personal copium mechanism

#letterbox .𖥔 ݁ ˖ #💫 anon

[n0stalgicv0id]

every love feels like the first —

cupid, make me the alter to your angelic divinity.

will you love me when i fall to my knees for you, clutching the cross i wear around my neck in your name?

will you love me when my love-struck face is covered in my own blood & tears as i smile just for you?

promise me you’ll make me pure & holy, as holy as you can.

but i know there will always be some stained sins

that even you cannot cleanse me of.

wound me, carve your name into me

& write my goodbyes with the blood that spills from the cuts

across the veins that run through the marble floor we lie still and silent upon,

like the ones you may drink your fill from & sever to your delight,

as many times as it takes to get them right.

write down these fistful of sorrows i hold to my chest in my hand,

like a wilting bouquet of flowers in every shade of pink simply because it’s your favorite color,

as i say the words too softly for anyone but you to hear.

you know no one loves you like i do. let me worship you.

no one’s dying for you but me.

i love you so much i can’t breathe.

i love you so much it drives me crazy.

i love you so much i want to scream.

do you love me too?

so i will beg you until you kiss me like starlight & take me here on this cold bathroom floor.

because i need you

to drown me, in a white tub filled with holy water that is

made up of every shade of blue in the night sky.

watch, as the light in my eyes goes out

—like the stars in them that you breathed life into going supernova—

as i gaze into yours all the while. hold me

down by the throat until i’m as blue as the water you’re drowning me in.

push me down until you can’t hear me saying sorry anymore,

watch me mouth the words i love you, i love you, i love you with the last of my breath beneath the darkening surface.

until all that remains of my voice is an echo wrapped around your throat,

your soft hands wrapped around mine.

& we become one, indistinguishable from each other,

sharing each thought, each breath, each heartbeat, everything.

then deeper still, until my head hits the bottom & i disappear, vanishing from your hands,

& all that remains left of me is within you.

- 💫

I love your writing style, everything is so well crafted and I can see the care you put into choosing the right words for this one. I especially like the comparison you used. My favorite part was definitely this one:

“write down these fistful of sorrows i hold to my chest in my hand,

like a wilting bouquet of flowers in every shade of pink simply because it’s your favorite color”

I don’t know why but this stuck in my head for a while, you really have a way with words. Do you take inspiration by something when you start writing apart the person in mind or you take an author/something in general? I’m genuinely curious to know more about this. Thanks for have shared this with me, this is a very private poem and it makes me happy that you trusted me enough with this one. I’m seriously grateful

#letterbox .𖥔 ݁ ˖ #💫 anon