#let teenagers enjoy media u fucking weirdos

[taones]

.

#yk whats funny #i have such a rant as to why the haikyuu fandom died off #partially cause of creators demonising minors n stuff when i know half of them werent even 18 themselves and just trying to play with #the popular kids #most of which were literally fucking nuts anyway #or just the horrible cliques group of people that cancelled each other and small creators for even the slightest misstep #like yk #setting a fanfic in the school era #when most of the fucking anime happens in a school setting #let teenagers enjoy media u fucking weirdos #like??? #it turned so toxic and awful that people were so hyped up about 'omg daddy suna ahsjsjsjjd' and 'aaa subby boy yams uwuwuwuwu' that they #lost yk #the actual anime and characters #and you found yourself staring at a fanfic going #what the fuck is this #u take a cartoon meant for teens #and remove the teens from the fandom #whether that was the intention or not that is what happened #you couldve just said 'id prefer if minors didnt interact w this' #but no you called them stupid names like #like brats or crotch goblins #came accriss very childish and lowkey high school mean girl ish #check yourselves next time before you ruin shit and maybe you wont drive everh content creator away hmm #disgusting behaviour

[crimeronan]

can I ask how you met your partners, or if you have any advice for meeting folks? I'm queer and physically disabled and I just feel like I'll be alone forever.

i'm a little sleepy but will try to answer this as concisely as i can

i met all of my partners online! i've conducted the vast majority of my social life online since i was about 12 for various reasons (ugly child, autism, bad at irl social, isolated in rural hell, etc)

and i met each partner through mutual interests like writing & fandom. we became friends thru that and then were eventually like you know what?? life commitment time baybey

none of my relationships have been rooted in Wanting A Relationship. i just met people i mesh with and they mesh with me and we work well together and we decided to keep doing that indefinitely

as for meeting people, the only advice i can give is what worked for me, which might not be true for you. as mentioned i have been terminally online for more than half of my life. and am not normal. but here goes

1) let go of the goal of Meeting Your Person

nothing wrong with wanting to meet your person or working to do so -- but if you equate socializing with "i have to make this work" and "i have to meet someone" and "if i don't click with anyone i'll be lonely forever"...... that is So Much pressure.

not only will it make you anxious, but it'll create enormous pressure for any friendship/relationship you end up in. and if things get too intense too fast bc of that pressure, & the other person turns out not to be who you hoped they were, that heartbreak will make the anxiety and loneliness way worse. it'll be harder to try again (but not!!!! impossible!!!!!)

2) vibe over common interests

pretty much every strong friendship i've ever had has had Some mutual interest as a foundation. a mutual interest gives you guys something to talk about. and something to get excited about!

cannot even express how much more relaxed i am when i go into a social situation like "fuck yeah, i'm gonna infodump about my blorbos" instead of "oh god theyre new and i'm out of practice and what will they think of me and what if i fuck up and how do i be funny enough and how do i make them like me-"

like. don't seek out people for the sake of people. seek out people for the sake of being excited and happy about non-people things... with company!! flap with friends

3) group settings are Amazing

a lot of my closest friendships and relationships have spawned out of group settings: discord servers, large open RP rooms, niche forums populated by the same band of teenage regulars every day.

again, this might not be what works for you. but for me, group socialization removes a lot of pressure to Perform, while still giving me room to participate. and then i'll usually find even more niche common ground with a handful of people in a group setting. and that's what turns into DMs and creative collaboration and 3am yelling and shared new media and emotional support and then sometimes, by accident, committed life partnerships

my whole social life from age 12 to now can be summarized by me finding an online clique of total weirdos, vibing with them, and then getting great connections out of that. lather rinse repeat ad infinitum

and that's.... all i've got for u, i think. life is definitely not hopeless. people don't need to be everything all at once, you don't need anyone to be everything all at once. breathe, let some of the pressure go, enjoy yourself where you can. there's a lot to explore and a bright future full of possibilities left. you're going to be fine

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