#laying beside apollo rn n they rlly love being mean to me but in a rlly cute way somehow

[noxtivagus]

zzz gna nap ><

#🌙.rambles #mostly ive just been posting here n then of random stuff irl havent i #gna fix that sometime but for now ill dump n just ramble #im so sleepyyyy #going on twt a bit just now n bb alphy he's just so adorable isnt he #laying beside apollo rn n they rlly love being mean to me but in a rlly cute way somehow #actually so sleepy #seeing my friends earlier in school n all was nice #we got assigned to our secret santas too n the one i'm assigned to is just rlly easy #i cant think of anymore #im rlly so sleepy #BYE ILL NAP 🥹 #edit/ bcs i dont want to make a new post #realizing most of my irls do indeed barely know anything abt me 😭😭 #as in not like. hmmm. idk this is all /nm #but i realize i.. unintentionally have a lot of secrets. #i hate to be inauthentic but w my most buried secrets sometimes my actions irl n the way i interact w others #end up being painfully restrained or i may. purposely be misleading but not with any harmful intent just so that i can 'hide' in a way #not too deep it's just i have secrets that. me having these wtvr r very likely unwarranted so ill hide so it wldnt create any problems #maybe.. maybe i'm too selfless sometimes i find myself sacrificing aspects of myself for the sake of others #but at the same time idk i feel st times that reaching out or asking for wtvr i want is selfish. #i know better but goddamn this is one reason why i relate to alphinaud ffxiv maybe now after all that im still a bit afraid of my real self #i shld stop that but. there really are some things that. i can't reach out first for myself #this is ambiguous this goes for several things rn #i'll delete these tags sometime bcs i dont want to give this the wrong impression nah #nvm i will delete some tags asap n ill delete the rest later