#kindofxinexplicable

[gloriatusarchive-blog]

kindofxinexplicable replied to your post:

      “If one more person tries to talk about football to me… —"

      “-- ..." The soft amusement that played across her features was guised briefly by her drink, "I'm surprised anyone would discuss as much with you."

#kindofxinexplicable

[eloquentis]

i. i found myself leaving that sacred land and with that simple gesture? i found my heart was lighter, but it was by no means a relief; it was that precarious heavy lightness in which you can no longer discern if you are complete or not. only to discover, achingly enough, that you are not for the first time since you left that piece behind. ii. i didn't realize what was missing, at least not directly so -- the awareness of as much lay within the old, dark caverns of my mind. places i dare not go with any regularity. iii. it is then, of course, when i brave that labyrinthine set of crevices that i see bright blue hues and gold-spun hair. it is then that his clever voice echoes across the mindfields, bouncing off empty spaces that were once whole, once filled. iv. it's been said that separation is agonizing and to those people, i wonder if they have truly experienced the sensation of turning your back on the first good thing you'd had in forever. but guilt does ugly things, it mars what good you see in yourself -- if there was even any to start. because he was all the good in you there was and like a fool, you walked away. you walked away because you're selfish and that covers your flesh in grime. v. your guilt is still a ruinous thing, all consuming, as you settled your feet in the dirt of the edges of his new existence without you. you watch and you ache more, but his pain and suffering is something you deserve to witness because you betrayed him. you lost your right to sanity, you lost your right to look the other way. the bitter metallic of your own blood spills in from where your teeth carve a line into your lip because squeezing shut your eyes is a cop out and he deserves better. vi. no one knows him like you do, no one ever will. there is no other soul who in that moment saw a man giving up, perhaps that ghost saw it in his eyes. but you? no, you saw a man who thought he had nothing left, no one left and still you never stepped forward; still you never prevented those ashes. you resent the one who took him from you and yet all you see is razorwire in your own hands, you feel his hand reaching for that one last connection never to be had. and something is dead inside you now, but you've no right to as much. it's not you who died, its that piece of your heart that you let die because you're stupid and terrified. vii. even now when you have him back, you fight not to shy away because how do you deserve this beautiful soul? how do you deserve to have those ocean eyes and golden hair back? you don't. he forgives you, he feels less alone, but all you taste is blood and all you see is ash on your hands.

the stages of missing a piece of your heart, ( r.x )

#*musing #guilty soul #loss #kindofxinexplicable #gloriatus

[askkol-mikaelson]

     "Lookin' sharp, mate."

     Can't say the same for himself, unfortunately. His hair had grown out a little longer since the last time they crossed paths, and there was an air to his voice that just didn't sound right. He blamed it on his surroundings, for the most part -- because Heaven knows he hadn't been in Boston for quite some time.

     You adapt to your environment, they say.

     Kol wouldn't put it in so many words, but that's beside the point.

     "My sincerest apologies for not being the life of the party as of late. Problems to tend to in the south, as you might have heard. But I would recommend keeping your outings to a minimum -- big plans, you and I."

     He's thinking Wales.  

#kindofxinexplicable

[xaedificare]

❣, ☄.

[ GOD I AM RUNNING OUT OF UNPOPULAR OPINIONS UM

I don't think that dude from Teen Wolf is hot. The really hairy one with weird eyes who I think has worse luck than the Winchesters keeping his friends alive. I don't watch the show, but his eyes are just weird, I don't know.

And I personally have been creeping on you and Consequence for the better part of a year now, and have always found your writing to be incredible, your muse awesome and in short, I think you're great. Also, I can't wait to see what happens with Harlen! ]

#kindofxinexplicable

[gloriatusarchive-blog]

[ leans against with a mutter. ]

      “I may have excellent hearing, but I couldn’t quite make that one out… —” Her tone was teasing as she shifted her gaze to watch the blond lean on her shoulder, offering a soft nudge.

#*answer #kindofxinexplicable

[consequentiae]

[ the gift was carefully folded in dark fabric and secured with a single twist of twine. a flick of his wrist sent it arching through the air at connor. ] Twelve o'clock.

     Confusion writ itself easily upon her features as careful hands caught the small parcel of dark fabric, pales hues drifted low to observe a beat before rising to meet oceans. Holding it still, she finally vocalized the confusion with touches of surprise etched across her visage. With her words came the soft cant of her head to one side with brows furrowed to match.

                 “— what’s this?” She’d have inquired if it was for her; though it seemed obvious enough.

#asked #kindofxinexplicable