#kinda light editing tbh but hopefully it should all be clear now; some of it reads fuzzy

[carolnein]

cleaned up some old pmmm fics for reposting. got three homura-centric rebellion ones in here, under the readmore

1) Kyoko finds Homura’s earring, worries about her once she hears it

2) AUish/continuation. Everyone regains their memories, Homura and Madoka talk about it some

3) Same continuity as 2. Homura convinces Kyoko to join her (cw for emotional manipulation and intentionally triggering someone)

[1, Kyoko and Homura]

“Homura!” Kyoko pounded at her door, the lizard earring clenched in her fist. This thing could break for all she cared, it didn’t matter that it didn’t belong to her. Nothing good was going to come from the little monster. “Open the door before I break it!”

Kyoko was seriously considering smashing her foot into the handle when it finally opened, and Homura stood in the doorway with that silently-angry expression. “Give it back.”

“Not yet.” Kyoko opened her hand just enough to show that she had it, and used up nearly all of her willpower to not drop it in disgust when it started wriggling. “We need to talk first. What exactly is this?”

“It’s mine.” Homura reached out to try and grab it, but Kyoko held her hand up above her head, too high for Homura to reach. “Kyoko, I’m serious.”

“I’m being serious, too. Explain.” Kyoko made her face as stern as she could. “What the hell are you doing to yourself?”

“Inside.” Homura yanked Kyoko through the door by her collar and locked the door behind her. “It’s magic, I can’t explain it all.”

“Then what can you explain?” Kyoko’s remaining composure was spent not falling apart under Homura’s withering glare, and she tossed the earring back. “I’m not leaving until I’m satisfied.”

She watched with mild horror as it crawled its way up Homura’s shoulder and settled around her ear. That thing was just creepy.

“It’s… part of my contract. You know I won’t talk about that.”

"What could that have to do with anything?” Kyoko crossed her arms. “Is this why you hate yourself so much?”

“I don’t—”

“Don’t give me that crap.” Kyoko was absolutely not in the mood to put up with Homura’s denial. “I heard the things it says. Why are you putting yourself through that?”

“Because I have to.” Homura turned away to take a seat, but Kyoko followed her to the couch. “I’m not telling you any more.”

“Then let me talk. I know you have my number, we’re arguing all the time,” Kyoko said. Arguing was fun, but now she worried that their bickering might’ve pushed Homura closer to the edge. “So when you have to listen to that thing, just call me instead.”

Homura raised an eyebrow. “So I can listen to your chewing?”

“Make fun of me all you want, it’s better than hearing that thing.” Kyoko narrowed her eyes at the earring. “Is it talking to you now?”

“It doesn’t always.” Homura didn’t give a real answer, but Kyoko didn’t bring up how suspicious that was.

“I’m gonna call you, and you’d better answer.” Kyoko was going to call her five times a day, just to make sure she picked up at least once.

“Why?” Homura looked confused; not upset like Kyoko thought she might, just confused.

“Because you’re my friend, you damn moron.” Kyoko stood, letting Homura know she wasn’t going to pry any further right now. “I’m worried about you.”

Homura looked away, not acknowledging it. “I’ll lock the door behind you.”

--

It was the third time Kyoko tried calling since that afternoon, and Homura finally picked up with a blunt, “What do you want?”

“Nothing, I’m just calling. What are you doing?” Kyoko was nursing a large bag of chips while watching TV; maybe Homura was doing something more entertaining.

There was a pause on the other end before Homura answered. “TV.” So not anything more fun. “Is there a point to this call?”

“You’re not allowed to go for 15 minutes, then you can hang up.”

There was a load groan on the other end before Homura said, “I’ll be counting.”

Neither of them said much for the time, but Homura faithfully waited until exactly 15 minutes had passed to hang up without warning.

“Heh, moron,” Kyoko said to the dial tone. She would have to do this tomorrow, too.

[2: Homura and Madoka]

It wasn’t even eight PM, but Madoka laid in her bed, facing the ceiling. She tried counting all the little dots just to focus on something, but never made it past five. Her eyes would glaze over, or she would just completely forget the next number like a child who was still learning to count to ten. If something changed and all that mattered in the world was counting every speck on the walls and ceiling in her bedroom, that would be an improvement.

She remembered. Not once did she think that there would be a memory so awful that she would rather forget it, but today she learned that happened. And she couldn’t figure out what she did wrong that caused it.

Counting some barely-visible dots in the dark was more appealing, anyways.

Her phone rang, the cheery ringtone directly conflicting with her mood and almost bringing it down further. If it didn’t display Sayaka’s name she probably wouldn’t have answered it. But Sayaka remembered, too.

“Are you okay?” Sayaka’s voice was aggressive and sudden. It was supposed to be a comforting question, but she sounded as angry as Madoka was tired.

Madoka wanted to say yes, but the word wouldn’t leave her throat. “I don’t know.”

“I still can’t believe this.” Her voice held a rough grumble from keeping it low; her parents would still be awake at this time. “I can’t figure out what we can do to fix it.”

“Me neither.” She didn’t tell her that she hadn’t even thought about it. Every time she tried her mind and body froze, stuck in some feeling between drowning and crying so hard it was a struggle to breathe.

“You don’t sound okay.” It was like a threat directed at no one. That was wrong, though; Madoka knew every single bitter word Sayaka said was aimed at Homura, even though she wasn’t there. Sayaka had insisted that this was all Homura’s fault, but Madoka didn’t agree.

“I’ll just go to sleep soon, it’ll be okay.” When she woke up, surely she would still remember all of this. The world was still messed up. She wasn’t going to be okay.

“No, I’m coming over.” There was a brief silence. “When my parents go to bed, I’m coming over. Leave your window unlocked.”

“Sayaka-chan, it’s fine. Stay at your house.” She just wanted this horrible day to end. Sleeping wouldn’t fix anything, but it might refresh her mind enough to do anything except lay in bed and wanting to cry.

“I mean it. I…I just think both of us need some company right now, you know?” It wasn’t just an offer, Sayaka needed her. This was a confusing request; Madoka had already proven to be completely useless when relied upon. Sayaka could have gone anywhere else.

“I’ll see you later….”

“Be ready for me.” Sayaka hung up first, thankfully before she would hear Madoka’s breathing become unsteady as she was left with her own thoughts again.

If she didn’t unlock the window, Sayaka would probably break through. It took that fear to drag her out of bed to flip the lock open. When she went to return to the comfort of her blankets, she noticed someone else in the room.

Madoka couldn’t tell if her heart was racing out of fear or excitement. Her mind tore at her with past memories and new memories, ripping her in different directions. The new fear that drove her to hide or scream, but the old habit to happily rush forward. She was frozen instead, pained by her inability to move or even know how to feel.

“Homura-chan…”

“Isn’t it dangerous to leave your window unlocked at night?” Homura couldn’t have looked any different from her. Calm and composed despite the many, many things wrong.

“It didn’t stop you from coming in.” Madoka wished that sounded as threatening and accusatory as she intended, but the way her voice cracked gave away how unsure she was.

“Wouldn’t it be a shame after all this, it was just a simple burglar that ended it all?” She sat in one of her chairs, with the posture of a queen right out of a storybook. It matched the twisted expression that Madoka only now realized wasn’t just from being tired.

“Why do you look like that?” Madoka asked, with nothing else to say. Those dead eyes and cruel smile were uncharacteristic of the Homura she thought she knew.

“Hmm?”

“Don’t make that face.” Her hands clenched into tiny fists and she looked down, unable to stare at Homura any longer. “I…I don’t like it.”

“Then why don’t you do something to fix it?” Madoka wasn’t looking, but she was sure she held the same expression. “Didn’t you always like to help others?”

“I can’t….” Everything she did, and everything still turned out like this. “I can’t help you.”

She wanted Homura to say something to distract her, but she was quiet for a while. Eventually, she just said, “Why not?”

“I lost my chance. I ruined everything. And I tried to save you, but I couldn’t.” Her wish was to save magical girls, so that Homura could live a normal life. And she really did mess that up, so badly that Homura had to take control. “Just leave and do what you have to.”

Again, silence. Madoka didn’t risk glancing upwards when she heard a shuffling noise and soft footsteps. Homura stopped in front of her — Madoka could see her legs from there — and touched the edges of her hair. “You kept my ribbons.”

“They were mine,” was all Madoka could say.

“Of course, they always were.” Homura’s hand lingered there for just a moment too long before she pulled back, frozen in the space between them. “What is it you want?”

“I just want us to be happy again,” Madoka said, voice wavering. “I can help you, if you don’t think I’ll get—”

“No.” Homura never raised her voice, but it was forceful enough to stop Madoka from speaking. Normally Homura was emotional, and the new memories showing Madoka her old role as her rock only supported that. But not now; Madoka wasn’t used to Homura being so together. “I want you to do nothing.”

Madoka couldn’t force out a confirmation. Homura thought she was useless. She really was, but to have someone so important to her agree with it, she was speechless. Homura’s hand started to move towards her face, and Madoka backed up with a squeak to shut down a shocked cry, and squeezed her eyes shut.

Unexpectedly, she didn’t feel Homura’s hand against her. So, so quiet, nothing but the sound of their breathing. She cracked an eye open to see her holding it in place, only inches from her face but respectfully distant.

“Now that you remember,” Homura spoke first, “are you going to oppose me?”

“I….” Madoka said, thinking it over for the first time. Sayaka immediately decided they needed to fight. But they were happy in Homura’s version of the world. When Madoka ruled, Sayaka was dead and Homura had just died. But they were all here now, and everything was happy until she remembered the time it wasn’t. It would have been better to forget, and not know how badly she ruined everything. “I don’t want to fight you, and I don’t think you should have to do this alone….”

Madoka flinched when Homura lifted her hand to touch her chin with her thumb and forefinger, not forcing her head up, only resting them there. “I have to do this alone, because nobody else can.”

She gulped hard before speaking again. “I think it’s my responsibility to help you, since I caused it.”

“Don’t talk like that,” Homura said gently. Madoka expected to hear something more accusatory, to drive in the point that it was her fault. “I’ll take care of everything now.”

“But you don’t look happy with this.” Madoka stopped when she felt Homura’s thumb move along her jaw, but mustering the tiniest remains of courage, she continued. “It’s not fair that we can’t be happy, and if you would just let me help, we could be.”

Her hopes were only as high as she would allow them to be, but even that small bit crashed down when Homura finally said, “I can never be happy with you, Madoka.”

Homura’s hand dropped, but Madoka wanted her to stay. She needed an explanation, or any sort of validation. All she wanted was Homura’s happiness even above her own, but…. “Why?”

“You could never understand.” She stepped away, and Madoka snapped her head up to stop her. “Your friend Sayaka Miki is coming soon, correct?”

“She is later.” That wasn’t going to be for a while. “But Sayaka has nothing to do with us right now, you don’t have to go.”

“Goodbye, Madoka.”

“Please, just tell me why!” Homura disappeared in a short flash of darkness, exchanging no further words.

In the back of her mind, Madoka hoped her parents hadn’t heard that outburst. Most pressing on her thoughts was that she wasn’t sure what to do with the sudden flood of emotions. Couldn’t call Sayaka, she was coming over for that exact reason. Couldn’t call Homura either.

She was too stunned and exhausted to cry, although that seemed the obvious course of action. This wasn’t a problem she could bring to her mother, no matter how she tried to phrase it to sound mundane. It was too early to sleep, but she was sure she couldn’t even if she tried.

Before this, she was lying in bed. That was a good place to start. Just lay in bed waiting for Sayaka, so that she could tell her the other ways she messed up.

[3: Homura and Kyoko again]

Fighting with Homura had never been unusual for Kyoko. Starting from the day they met, it escalated from passive-aggressive jabs to petty arguing, and occasionally sparring taken a little too far. She wished she could say there had never been any hurt feelings involved, because until recently that was true.

The emotional pain should have been enough on its own, knowing somebody out there was horrible enough to have taken down their god figure like that. Kyoko hadn’t decided if it was worse that, that person was such a close friend, or that she hadn’t noticed a close friend was in that kind of trouble. Every conversation came back to her, from Homura insisting that she just couldn’t sleep because of school, to some blatant statements about what God meant to her. It was inexcusable that Kyoko didn’t force an answer out of her.

She stood in front of Homura’s apartment door now, too long after their last fight. She lost track of how long it had been since they last saw each other; Sayaka said it had been about two weeks.

Kyoko was still in front of the door, paralyzed by her thoughts. She wanted to trust that she and Homura could have a calm talk about this, but here she was, already transformed, with the tip of her spear pointed at the ground displaying the most trust that she possibly could. After what she heard, she lost all faith in her ability to predict Homura’s actions. Madoka and Sayaka couldn’t have been making any of that up.

Still frozen. She touched the bracelet on her wrist like it could give her some sort of magical courage, as if she wasn’t already aware of what magic was and wasn’t capable of. It was meant for a child’s wrist, and the elastic pressing into her skin was going to leave impressions in the shape of the plastic crosses and beads.

The old memories of her family were a happy place for Kyoko, like Momo was holding onto her hand to face a monster in the closet. “Lord, lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.” With a deep breath, she knocked on the door.

As tense as she was, she expected some grand dramatic entrance, or to immediately fight her way to safety. But it was just an ordinary door opening to reveal someone standing in the doorway, still in her school uniform like a nerd who was too lazy to change after school. Homura looked as tired as ever, maybe even more so now, knowing what was wrong.

“That was probably the quietest I’ve ever heard you knock,” Homura said flatly.

Kyoko acted like nothing was wrong, or like they’d just seen each other a day earlier. “You, uh…” Kyoko wanted to break the ice, but anything light she could say wouldn’t come out of her mouth as such. “You look like shit.”

“I appreciate the input.” Any sarcasm that would have been in Homura’s voice was gone, replaced by a terrible bitterness. “Were you planning on putting that away?”

“Not really.” Kyoko only tightened her grip on her spear. If Homura was going to be on the offensive, then so was she. “We need to talk.”

“I agree. I was about to come looking for you.” Homura opened the door wider and beckoned Kyoko inside. The inside of Homura’s apartment didn’t look any different, as bare and tidy as ever.

“Really?” Kyoko hoped Homura didn’t notice how sweaty her hands were, making it hard to hold her spear properly. It was risky, but even if it was a trap, she trusted that she could escape. She trusted her ability to fight past Homura more than she trusted Homura herself.

“Would I lie?” Homura picked up the intention in her glare. “Alright, I know. But I have no intention of fighting right now.”

“Yeah, I’m more comfortable like this.” Kyoko didn’t take a seat; this was going to be a short trip. Knock some sense into her and get out.

“You are aware that a quicker access to magic won’t help you defend yourself anymore, aren’t you?”

“Tch. Cocky bitch.” That wasn’t out of the ordinary for a conversation, but normally Kyoko would challenge Homura right then. Now she was afraid that calling the wrong bluffs would put her in real danger for the first time. “What’d ya want?”

Homura crossed her arms over her chest with a distasteful stare. “You showed up at my door. You explain first.”

Kyoko grumbled again, but that was fair. It didn’t change her plan any, at least. “I wanted to talk. Make ya come back.”

“Hmm?” Homura’s face was unreadable.

“You did some dumb things, but…you can be forgiven.” The tip of Kyoko’s spear rested against the carpet so it wouldn’t shake. “If you wanna talk yer problems out or somethin’.”

Kyoko didn’t think that would work, but she definitely didn’t think Homura would start giggling. “Oi, what’s so funny?!”

“I was going to make the same offer, actually.”

“You…wanna come back?” If she wanted that, she didn’t need Kyoko to do it.

“No, of course not.” Something about Homura’s dead-eyed, unsatisfied smile gave Kyoko chills throughout her entire body. “I wanted you to help me.”

“Oh hell no.” Kyoko instinctively held the pole with both hands, raising her spear just off the ground.

Homura didn’t seem phased. “Funny you should bring that up.”

“What’s that?”

“Hell.”

“It’s where yer goin’ if you don’t cut the crap!” Kyoko wasn’t even referring to Homura’s declaration of being a devil now. Even without that, she had done some terrible things.

“Kyoko…Sakura.” Homura’s face still held that unnerving expression. “Do you honestly believe all people who acted wrongly go to Hell?”

“That ain’t on me to decide. But… come on, this is wrong.” Kyoko grit her teeth. “Ya get that, right?”

“Do you think your father was allowed into Heaven for what he did?”

“This ain’t about that!” Kyoko impulsively widened her stance to stabilize herself and pointed the sharpened end of her spear directly at Homura. “You gonna get some sense in that head or no?”

Homura, unfazed, pushed her spear to the side and walked closer. Kyoko only glared harder the closer she came, but if Homura wasn’t on the offensive, Kyoko wasn’t going to provoke her. Silent and ignoring her aggressive stare, she took Kyoko’s wrist and held firmly enough that she wouldn’t be able to pull away easily.

Homura looked at the bracelet, face again expressionless. “Isn’t this a little small for you?”

“S’not mine.” Homura reached up to touch it with her other hand, but Kyoko yanked backwards, still not broken free. “Don’t!”

After a tense few seconds, Homura let her go. “Was it Momo’s?”

“I’m here to talk about you and me, nothin’ like that.” Kyoko held her hand close to her chest and out of Homura’s reach, weapon still out in case she needed to collapse it into a chain and buy a few seconds.

Homura’s smile came back; Kyoko couldn’t remember a time when Homura smiling wasn’t something to be happy about or laugh at. “No, it is related.” Homura then explained herself unprompted while Kyoko was still collecting herself. “Were you happy?”

“Whaddya mean?” Of course Kyoko wasn’t happy; right now, at least, on the verge of a fight.

“In your past. At any point in history, actually. Tell me about how you felt.”

“We already talked about that.” Kyoko frowned, assuming there was a point to all this. “Guess I was pretty happy as a kid. Then uh… not, later. And I was doin’ pretty well now until ya pulled this!”

It was absolutely infuriating how Homura’s face never changed. She was never an expressive person, but right now, being watched with an unchanging, almost-accusatory stare was only stressing Kyoko out and making it harder to answer. “And the memories you retrieved?”

“What about ’em?” The fact that Kyoko didn’t want to linger on them should have been enough of a sign that they weren’t great. It wasn’t normal to remember your own multiple deaths.

“Were they happy memories, under a god you were defending?”

“It’s just the past, that don’t matter.” Kyoko was angry right now, and Homura was trying to divert her rage anywhere but at herself.

“That’s all that matters right now. Sayaka Miki is alive now, isn’t she? Don’t you remember what happened to her under Madoka’s laws?”

Kyoko grit her teeth. “She just used up her magic or somethin’, that Law of Circles thing.” Sayaka had died before they had the chance to talk very much. “That could happen at any time.” If the world never changed, Kyoko would never have been as close to Sayaka as she was now.

“But it hasn’t. I was able to bring her back, unlike Madoka.” Homura hadn’t changed expressions, Kyoko was sure. But she looked different now, like she was more empathetic. “So what’s wrong with this arrangement?”

“Because Madoka wasn’t a damn nutcase.” It was wrong accepting a divine gift like that from someone so twisted.

“I think we’re long past the point of morality by now.” Homura smiled, more intimidating than warm. “It made you happy, didn’t it? I’m your friend; you can trust me.”

“Friends don’t do…anythin’ you did.” In truth, for the very first time it was hard for Kyoko to refer to Homura as a friend. Her arm twinged with the light ache of holding a weapon outwards for too long, but she didn’t dare put it away.

“Then what about God? Would you say He is fair?”

Kyoko wanted to hit her to see if that would put a more tolerable expression on her face. “Of course.” She didn’t even bother asking what the point of the question was. This entire conversation was Homura spouting senseless crap and turning it to her favor.

“Including your family?”

“No, I already said this, we ain’t talking about that.” If Kyoko could glare any harder, she would have. Her hand was around the pole of her spear and tightly as she could grip. Her jaw was clenched, knees locked, every muscle flexed and stiff. She couldn’t possibly express any more anger even though rage was building further.

The corners of Homura’s mouth tugged into a tighter smile. “You always sounded confident in your family’s devotion. And can you remind me how they were repaid?”

“That wasn’t Dad’s fault or God’s.” Kyoko couldn’t say whose fault it was, but it wasn’t either of theirs.

“Nothing happens without reason. What would you say caused it?”

“It… it was his followers, they didn’t understand.” There was no excuse to not listen to Kyoko’s father. “They drove him to…” It wasn’t fair.

Homura moved in the tiniest bit closer, and Kyoko found herself fighting intimidation from someone smaller than her, in every sense but her overwhelming presence. “Drove him to what, exactly?”

“Already told ya.” Kyoko tried to sound bitter, but only came across as reluctant to her own ears.

“Then I’ll remind you. Your father was hanging from the chandelier, correct?”

His body was still limp when she walked through the doors. It wasn’t moving at all, he was dead long enough that the chandelier wasn’t swinging.

Kyoko took a step back, succumbing to whatever fear Homura was putting out. “Stop it.”

For every step she took back, Homura closed in equally. “And your mother and sister, burned to death.”

They had only recently been bringing in money again. She wasn’t used to smelling meat cooking when she walked up. It was darkly amusing to think that her mother was so out of practice with cooking that she burned it. Never could she imagine humans could smell like that.

Kyoko couldn’t even look at Homura. “Stop it…”

“Could you see their faces? Did they look peaceful like everyone says? Or were they scared?”

Her father looked surprised, drooling, eyes nearly bulging out of his head. She didn’t look at him for long, but her gaze found her mother and Momo next, charred beyond recognition and only differentiated by size. Even if she could look at them long enough, she was sure she wouldn’t be able to identify an expression.

“Stop!”

“Was anything I’ve done any worse than those memories?”

Kyoko didn’t answer; she only yelled. She dropped her spear to the ground, took a step back, and swung her fist as hard as she possibly could towards the center of Homura’s face. It hurt her hand, but she looked back to see that Homura never even moved. Her fist deflected off something unseen between them.

Surprisingly, Homura didn’t return the attack. Kyoko would have been able to handle a fight better than facing such restraint. “I don’t know why I expected you to think about this logically or quietly.”

“Damn you!” Kyoko’s eyes stung, a culmination of the frustration and fear that had no other outlet.

“Curse me all you like, I’m only explaining that I’m correct.” Homura knelt down to pick up the fallen spear, passing it back to Kyoko shaft first. “And I have an offer.” Kyoko answered by taking the weapon and not attacking her again. “I want you to join me.”

“Like hell!” Kyoko could barely stand being in the same room as her; she couldn��t help someone who had done so much wrong. “Why would you think I’d do that?!”

“You’re strong, intuitive, and you’re loyal.” Homura smiled wider this time, more natural and familiar. “And you’re my friend. I trust you. I’d enjoy working together with you again.”

“Then get your ass back from whatever fantasy you’ve been living and come back with me. We’ll work together on something right.” Kyoko was just sick now. Tired. Wanted nothing more than to go home and bring Homura with her, and maybe take a nap.

If Homura noticed how close her voice was to cracking, she didn’t mention it. “Promise me you’ll think about it.”

“Whatever.” Kyoko transformed back into her shorts and jacket, not looking to draw any more attention than she already might have.

“I mean it. I’ll be waiting for an answer.”

Kyoko slammed the door before Homura could hear the strangled crying fighting its way out of her throat.

--

Kyoko didn’t plan on thinking about it. She left Homura’s apartment angry and vowing to never talk to her about it again. But every time she spoke to Sayaka, she couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like without her. When she was bored with nothing to do, she remembered having little free time because she had to fight so often.

It wasn’t wrong to passively enjoy this kind of gift, was it? She wasn’t thanking Homura for it, or doing anything to further whatever heretical plans she had in mind. Her only sin was selfishness, by not changing her lifestyle knowing that things were different. Kyoko could handle being selfish.

Another day passed, and another. And with each one, she thought more and more about it. It was impossible to not change her life knowing that she could have lost even more than she already had. Sayaka complained that she was too clingy, but she didn’t understand.

She couldn’t talk to Sayaka about her internal conflict either. The only answer she would get was that of course Homura was wrong, everything she did was wrong. But Sayaka didn’t understand. The only thing she lost in the gap between their memories was that musical block of wood, and Sayaka was long over that guy now that she had Kyoko.

That’s how Kyoko ended up standing up in front of Homura’s door only three days later. She knocked on the door as politely as she was able, dressed casually. Her soul gem was held firm in her fist; she was willing to risk the seconds it would take to transform this time.

Homura didn’t look any different from the last time she was there, and unfortunately just as intimidating for someone who was previously a quiet loser. “Have you made a decision?”

Kyoko didn’t waste any time saying it as soon as the door was closed behind her. “You were right.”

“Hmm? What about?”

Kyoko was too tired to argue over Homura’s feigned naivety. “Everything. We’re all happier now.” It was hard to admit it, but she was so wrong before. The instant she thought about the proof Homura showed her, everything made sense. “Even Sayaka. She won’t admit it, but we’re all happier.”

“I’m glad you were able to see reason.”

“Yeah…” The back of Kyoko’s mind still yelled at her that it was wrong. But the only thing wrong about it was that it was new. The whole world was different, so she needed to adopt a new philosophy to match it.

Still lost in thought, Homura came up to her for a strong hug, stopping her mental processes short. “You’re a good friend,” Homura reassured her.

“You are too.” Kyoko hugged her back, maybe a little too tightly due to her shaking. But she was going to help make the world better, like she always wanted to.

#kinda light editing tbh but hopefully it should all be clear now; some of it reads fuzzy #this stuff is so old it's embarrassing to read it unedited lmao what a mess #pmmm #madohomu #chriswrites #kyouhomu

[ae0nx]

FRUITS BASKET S3 EPISODE 8 RECAP AKA THE KYORU CHRONICLES PART 2 (plus a quick recap of eps 3-7)

aaaaaaAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! I gotta get it out of me otherwise I won't be able to concentrate on work and I will be scrolling through the tag till the day I die. Everything from episode 3 of Season 3 literally hit me like an avalanche - literally cos I marathoned 3-7 over the weekend which I wouldn't advise unless you want an accelerated heartbeat - and I'm starting to realise... maybe I just wasn't ready for season 3. Despite asking for it, haha. Not gonna put as many screencaps for this one cos tumblr editing bay be trippin and I just don't have time nor emotional energy to be fighting with the picture uploads, sorry lol

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Episodes 3 - 7

I spoke before about how (despite my feelings about the characters) the English dub VAs for Akito and Shigure pair up really well audibly. And I think I feel the same way about both Yuki and Machi's English VAs! They both have the same soft spoken yet scratchy element to their voices almost like they are holding slightly back. Although, I'd argue that Yuki has been losing the element of slightly holding back as the anime has gone on which I wonder if the same would be included for Machi's performance?

I really like the presentation of Machi's trauma through her family's expectations to be perfect and how physical it is? How Yuki kind of encourages her to let it out in a healthy way? (Btw the whole chalk breaking scene in the meeting was SO FUCKING SMOOTH. YUKI IS A NERD BUT HE IS SO EFFORTLESSLY COOL A LOT OF THE TIME)

The age gap between Isuzu and Haru for sure isn't the worst age gap in this anime/manga but it's still a bit... hmm...

Episode 4:

In all seriousness, I know Akito deserves some sympathy but it doesn't change the fact that I still see her as a villain. Hurt people hurt people but it doesn't mean they should get away with it, I was honestly pleased Haru got that big confrontation with Akito to tell her WHAT'S WHAT but it was also somewhat... merciful?

Hiro's growth has been so beautiful to see, him realising there are bigger things than him from the event with Rin to his relationship with Kisa to then the birth of his little sister.

Kureno choosing to get his hands a little dirtier and paying the ultimate price for it (as far as we know so far in the anime lol) was great, he is the moon side of Tohru's sunshine.

Shigure... I still don't really get him and Akito's relationship. It's clear he's waiting for Akito to grow the fuck up but at the same time he's not creating an environment for her to grow and develop. He's decided to go with the 'tough love' route which I'm still deciding whether I like it or not tbh. Sometimes it feels necessary, at other times it feels shitty. I respect that he knows he's a scumbag and I don't deny that there are people out there who take revelry in the fact that they are awful but at the same time, him remaining unchanging despite everything feels... unrealistic. But considering throughout this story he doesn't seem affected by trauma, it's understandable, I guess?

Also... that scene where Shigure ponders about whether he should've been with Tohru is THE creepiest creeper shit he's EVER done in this series. No. 🙅🏾‍♀️

Momiji is best bunny boi regardless of how tall and 'manly' he becomes. 🐰His scene with Akito was so authentically him and he really did that shit. We love him. <3

I love the way that the curse breaking should (on surface) be a happy event considering all the trauma the zodiac went through because of it but it's presented mostly as loss as well as happiness. It's the realness of getting out of a bad relationship

Shigure basically laying it out to Tohru how Kyo means nothing in a very taunting way was an excellently painful scene and I choose violence. It was heartbreaking seeing how worthless they all saw Kyo compared to how Tohru saw him but... by this point I was just living in the pain so 🤷🏾‍♀️

The story visually showing how Isuzu is more willing to be soft after her whole ordeal through her fashion choices (e.g. the pastels, the cardigans) was really nice. And Haru being happy about Isuzu making friends with Tohru was cute!

It was nice we saw that Kazuma was still wary about whether Tohru loved Kyo for the right reasons, you'd assume after everything Kazuma would love Tohru as a match for Kyo but he's so emotionally intelligent and also just a protective Dad! Yay, good parenting!

Tohru's confession to loving Kyo was amazing however I still adore Kyo's confession a little bit more. Just a bit. Lol. However, if you add the moment later in episode 8 it trumps it completely. Ethereal goddess.

Kyo and Tohru's grandfather having a scene together was great and nice

Now that I think about it, I wish there was more a visual link in the story between Tohru adapting her speech to imitate her Dad and Momiji adopting his Mum's German accent. Albeit for slightly different reasons, it just adds to the unique connection Tohru and Momiji have. In short, I'm seeing this ship with my third eye now. I get it lol

I don't wanna screencap the scene where Kyo is haunted by both his deceased mother and deceased Kyoko and potentially deceased Tohru because it's the stuff of nightmares. But, it was a wonderfully done scene. You definitely understand fully and clearly why Kyo buried all of that trauma under his hatred for Yuki (I CAN'T WAIT FOR EPISODE 9, YOU GUISE!)

If Akito is a villain, Ren is the final boss. Although, with her type of villainy... I feel like I can kind of enjoy a bit more. She reminds me of a Greek God in the ways she master manipulates people and her desperation for control and power (I just read 'Mythos' by Stephen Fry, it's a great read lol)

It lowkey feels like every female character who's comfortable in expressing their sexuality in this story is punished in some way for it... this is an incomplete thought

Shigure as a child feeling like they should all be pitied is so... mature... I feel like I need more of an explanation for why Shigure is the way he is

Akito's ego death with Kureno? Amazing. I loved that she was at least aware enough to realise how Kureno had been coddling her all this time but again... doesn't excuse her crimes

But anyways...

EPISODE 8

Honestly? I really don't have much to say about this episode besides 3-5 points I wanna get out of my head. It's not a bad thing at all, it's just that there's still a lot left to play out from this 'arc' and this season in general that I wanna complete my thoughts on.

But I'll start with this:

Lol, isn't it funny?! Isn't it heart-wrenchingly funny how the relationship between Kyo and Tohru has kinda reverted back to how they were at the start of the series? The coldness of Kyo at the beginning of this episode (and throughout) was a bit of a gut punch considering all the light and fluffy moments that we've gotten between the two since the True Form arc.

Talking about the True Form arc, I feel like this episode is somewhat a repeat of the same emotions, same trials of the True Form arc. Kyo still 'runs away like he always has' but this time we get him being the most honest and confrontational with his own emotions and trauma than he ever has been during the course of this whole story. While trusting someone (Tohru specifically) for the first time with the whole truth of his story! He always seems to move one step forward and then three steps backwards and while it's a tad bit frustrating, it feels very... real. I'll probably complete my feelings how this arc reflects the True Form arc when we finish this section of the story in future episode(s).

Considering the fact that 80% of this episode is Jerry Jewell monologuing as Kyo and I never got bored really just sells his performance. Kyo was being incredibly cold this episode and yet the range of emotions through his performance made it feel understandable enough for you to empathise with it.

BrattyKid!Kyo to lighten the mood 😹I still wish he and Hiro had more of a relationship, I feel like they could have taught each other a lot. Well... mostly Kyo teaching Hiro tbh

Kyo rejecting Kyoka for her honesty and kindness and then later rejecting Tohru? Oh... kid...

Wow, I felt so good about that whole episode of Kid!Yuki helping Kid!Tohru get home and then it's slightly soured knowing KID!KYO was running about the streets alllll night into the morning?!?! I really did feel Kyo's frustration at not getting that win to actually do something right. And the irony of that being linked to him being unable to save Kyoka from the oncoming car?

Honestly, I don't know what my feelings are on Kyo being unable to save Kyoka. I don't even know what my feelings are on Tohru pretty much pushing that aside in favour of her feelings for Kyo. It's... complicated and I've been mulling it over in my head for the last 10+ years hahah However, if I was in Tohru's position I think I'd eventually come to a point where it feels like it's too late to really do anything about how bad I'd feel about it. Kyo's intentions weren't horrid, if anything he was just being a scared kid and he's allowed to be that. I just wish Tohru had a bit more time to evaluate it but considering she knew her mother well and assumes that wouldn't have been the full scope of what she had said, I don't have much of a problem with it in general

Lol, I love when Tohru gets a 'FUCK YOU, I LOVE YOU' moment with Kyo. 😂Another reflected scene from the True Form arc... only thing is that this time... it doesn't quite work. 😕

(Again, I love how all of these reflections are resolved in later occurences in response to the duality but I'll get to it next week when it shows hopefully)

Laura Bailey only had a few sentences in this episode but she killed it as always. Comparing her performance in 2001 to now is just... growth!

Ok, so Yuki automatically gets Best Boi in this episode for meddling and chasing after KYO of all people. Showing how he's personally done with hating Kyo. Realising Kyo is pretty much the only person who'll make his mother happy. I think he also lowkey wants to understand Kyo? But, we'll get to that next week.

....Oh yeah, Akito is there.

--------------------------------------------------------------

In total, I liked this episode even though it has me anxious for the next one. We finally get the full picture of why Kyo is the way he is! Ahhhh - a weight off all our chests, I'm sure. I kinda don't like that they put the ending theme at the end of these episodes - the joyfulness doesn't really match up with the intense theme? But, that's just a minor gripe. And hey, maybe they just want the audience to know... it's all gonna be okay :)

See you next week!!!

#fruits basket #furuba #fruits basket season 3 #fruits basket 2021

[latex-tiddettes]

Don’t I dare ask you all of them? Oh kitten, now you just have to do it for me.

You

Are

The asshole.

The meaning behind my url: my ex-bf and I were joking around and somehow we mentioned a latex suit but only for boobs. So that came "latex tiddies" and then came bowsette and ya know

A picture of me: here's a nice and shitty one (edit: Tumblr is weird and put it at the bottom)

Last time i cried and why: I think it was last time I talked about school with the parents

Piercings i have: just earrings rn

Favorite band: Ooooooooooo that's really harddddddd. Right now? I think MKTO

Biggest turn offs: too much pain I think

How many tattoos i have and what they are: none currently

Top 5 (insert subject): no subject inserted so I'll go with games: Pikmin 1, wind waker, skyward sword, minecraft, slime rancher. No particular order there

Tattoos i want: a triforce on the back of my hand and something (idk what) on one of my ankles. Maybe some others, idk

Biggest turn ons: exhibitionismmmmmmm. And anything involving being dommed

Age: 21 and 3 days!!

Ideas of a perfect date: movie, popcorn, dinner while stargazing. I'm a simple woman

Life goal: help people tbh

Piercings i want: nips and a hip, hopefully gonna get them soon!!

Relationship status: takennnn with the amazing.. Well you, @skylightsofmylife. But also horny so hmu

Favorite movie: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa again super hard but I think wrinkle in time. Watching those fantasy scenes from my childhood come to life is just 💓💓💓💓

A fact about my life: idk? My first employer basically fired me without ever saying a word

Phobia: as we talked about a lot earlier, heightsss

Middle name: major, for now. Might change it to reilley, who knows

Height: 5'9"ish??

Are you a virgin? lolllllnooooo

What’s your shoe size? Like 11? Idk?

What’s your sexual orientation? Lesbabbbb but also maybe pan idk dicks are nice but nothing compared to a girl's personality

Do you smoke, drink, or take any drugs? Nop, Nop, only prescribed ;)

Someone you miss: not anyone, really. Could go for seeing most of my exes again, but don't really miss them

What’s one thing you regret? Honestly still kinda hating myself for thinking I should ask someone out after them being v clear on not being interested. Sorry dude

First celebrity you think of when someone says attractive: Chris Hemsworth...

Favorite ice cream? Gotta go with that good Ole mint chocolate chips

One insecurity: I'm honestly really secure but prob boobs just cause they seem like they're getting smaller half the time xDD

What my last text message says: xDDDD

Have you ever taken a picture naked? Hell yessssss

Have you ever painted your room? Noppppp

Have you ever kissed a member of the same sex? Yepppppppp

Have you ever slept naked? Almost every night

Have you ever danced in front of your mirror? All the time!!! I love that!!

Have you ever had a crush? Yeah, dating one too :p

Have you ever been dumped? Yeah, like once

Have you ever stole money from a friend? Yeah but he deserved it

Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met? Lol that's just what Geocaching is

Have you ever been in a fist fight? Not exactly.. I kinda slap-punched a dude cause he was "testing my reflexes"

Have you ever snuck out of your house? Nopppp

Have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Yupppppppppppppp x infinity

Have you ever been arrested? Lolno

Have you ever made out with a stranger? Depends what you count as a stranger, but I'm gonna say no

Have you ever met up with a member of the opposite sex somewhere? Yes?? Not sure what this is asking tbh

Have you ever left your house without telling your parents? I mean yeah, they don't control me

Have you ever had a crush on your neighbor? Yea..

Have you ever ditched school to do something more fun? Never!!

Have you ever slept in a bed with a member of the same sex? Oh hell yes!!!

Have you ever seen someone die? Thankfully no, except maybe in reddit videos or something

Have you ever been on a plane? Like every year

Have you ever kissed a picture? I don't think so?

Have you ever slept in until 3? Sadly yes..

Have you ever love someone or miss someone right now? I miss her constantly 💜💜

Have you ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by? Yes!! Not recently but gonna happen soon I'm sure!!

Have you ever made a snow angel? Lol I live in Texas yo

Have you ever played dress up? I mean kinda? I've tried on clothes before??

Have you ever cheated while playing a game? Lol yeaaa but only cause they cheat first

Have you ever been lonely? Quite a bit yeah

Have you ever fallen asleep at work/school? Oh yeah, at school a few times, but sleeping on top of a table at the summer camp I worked at was amazing!!

Have you ever been to a club? Oh yeah, met my best friend @purgatorical at one

Have you ever felt an earthquake? I did used to live in Cali but I don't think so

Have you ever touched a snake? Yeah!! They're amazing!! Scary, but amazing

Have you ever ran a red light? Nahlol, can't drive mate

Have you ever been suspended from school? Got in trouble once, but not suspended

Have you ever had detention? Nop, not that much trouble

Have you ever been in a car accident? Thankfully no!!

Have you ever hated the way you look? Yeaaa, lot better about it now though

Have you ever witnessed a crime? I don't think so??

Have you ever pole danced? Nah but if you wanna teach me!!!

Have you ever been lost? Yes, in life

Have you ever been to the opposite side of the country? Many times

Have you ever felt like dying? Oh Boi yea

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep? Oh yea boi

Have you ever sang karaoke? Once.

Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yeah prob idk

Have you ever laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? YES!! 10/10 WOULD SNORT AGAIN

Have you ever slept with someone at least 5 years older or younger? Hey babe 😏

Have you ever kissed in the rain? Nop :'(

Have you ever sang in the shower? All the time! Every time!

Have you ever made out in a park? Nop, not yet at least 😉

Have you ever dream that you married someone? I've dreamed of getting married, but not too anyone in particular

Have you ever glued your hand to something? Does my own hand count?

Have you ever got your tongue stuck to a flag pole? Nop! Not that stupid!

Have you ever ever gone to school partially naked? Idk what that counts as but nah, don't think so

Have you ever been a cheerleader? Nah, I was on the other part of the field

Have you ever sat on a roof top? I wish!!

Have you ever brush your teeth? Um???? Yes??????

Have you ever ever too scared to watch scary movies alone? Usually yeah xD

Have you ever played chicken? Like once

Have you ever been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? I wish!! Babe please!

Have you ever been told you’re hot by a complete stranger? Yeah, Tumblr tends to do that xD

Have you ever broken a bone? Nop!!

Have you ever been easily amused? Literally always lol

Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? Yeah, usually cause of purgs

Have you ever mooned/flashed someone? Ooooooooooo adding that to the list

Have you ever cheated on a test? Yea...

Have you ever forgotten someone’s name? I tend to do that....

Give us one thing about you that no one knows. I have a birth mark that looks like a dick

Have you ever met someone who didn’t seem real? I still don't think Lena existed tbh she was just an amazing fae

#Selfie #Love you hun